happi duck Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 (Hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I would start by making sure the children are securely away from him, just in case. I would then make sure the bank accounts are secure. Getting a lawyer would be next on the list and after that take family up on their offer to help in any way they can. Stay strong, Umsami. You got this. 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 The most important thing that I have seen my successful single parenting friends do is to keep things as low stress for the kids as possible, but to be honest. Covering for a rat is not helpful. There is now so much research about the negative effects stress has on developing minds that I'm sure you have seen some of it yourself. Kids are flexible and they do heal, but the important thing is to keep lots of routine and order in their lives and make as few changes as possible at a time as you can. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 My gosh, Umsami. I am sorry! Take the advice of the folks here who know what they're talking about. All I can do is send good vibes your way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I'm so sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lispy Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Can't even imagine. Nothing to add to the advice given. Just wanted to say I'm sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Wishing you the strength you will need to get through this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Okay just read the update that he is saying permanent and no contact witht eh kids. That makes it so much harder. My ex did not see the kids for 10 years after we split, he did not pay child support for the first 6 years. What I learned is you do what you gotta do. Go down to the welfare office tomorrow. THey will fight to get child support while helping get you on your feet. If you want to start working sooner than the fall apply for daycare subsidy, that way your child care expenses will be covered. Check with your county office if they have collective kitchen or other helps like that. Out here collective kitchen is a group of ladies gets together and makes freezer meals for their family. It costs $2 per family member and you go home with 6-7 freezer meals. It is a huge way to save on groceries and helps connect you with community. Also just because you are going to be doing it alone do not think you have to give up homeschooling. I homeschool and work out of the home and do college. It is hard and I have no social life, but I am supporting us, I just got another raise yesterday at my performance review, Wrote my last final for the term yesterday too and looks like possibly another 4.0 semester (though my one course may bring me down to a 3.9). In the beginning I wasn't this awesome lol I had a lot of emotional turmoil, my kids were little and I moved and started a new job and it was challenging. But I made it work even without child support for those 6 years, My kids turned out pretty awesome even without seeing their dad for 10 years. You just get into a frame of mind that come hell or high water you will do what you need to do to raise those kids, support your family and look at yourself with pride in the mirror. I have shared over the years I have done a lot of different jobs to support us, newspaper delivery in the wee hours (tucked the kids into their car seats with blankets in the van and they slept while I delivered newspapers from 130am-6am), coffee cart in a bingo hall, fast food, maid, picked bottles, home daycare, daycare out of the home, even worked in a ped's office. I did not have family to help too much, they did a bit but they don't like my oldest kid so they would not watch them while I worked in the evenings, so I had to be creative in what I did. I learned to be resourceful and find ways to get what I needed through various agencies etc that few really knew about. I learned of one that gave as much free bread goods as you wanted every friday, 1 that offered free fine arts lessons for low income families, my kids have attended many summer camps for free because I asked about scholarships for low income families, free or low cost extra curriculars, etc. Doing so has left my kids with a lifetime of experiences they would not otherwise have had. THe biggest thing I learned was to swallow my pride about asking for help and doing so for the benefit of my kids. We are in a location now that does not have nearly as many resources but I am in a different point in my life and can work more, and not have childcare expenses etc. I would also look into if there are any counsellors that do free or sliding scale fees for yourself and the kids as you process through this change. It is one thing I never did and do regret it, I could have saved myself years of heartache if I had a safe place to work through it early on. I thought I was strong enough on my own, and I am don't get me wrong, but I culd have been that much better of a mom if I had done some counselling early on in the split up. 23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I really don't know. He says it is permanent and he will have no contact with the kids. I am hoping that is not the case. I'm so sorry. This is so hard. I've been a single mom for 3 years after dh died suddenly. At the time, I had 6 at home, 1 in college. I now have 4 at home. You're going to have to ease up on many, many things b/c just taking care of the kids will be a full plate. Simple meals are fine and good. A simple cleaning regime -- I do mine on Saturday. And I've just gotten used to not having everything done with the house that I used to. I find it impossible to have the time to do the yard and the house and from-scratch meals and errands and homeschooling and .... So, I've had to learn to be okay with standards not as high. I hate even writing that, but it's true. I've chosen to put the lion's share of my time in raising my kids, homeschooling and, some writing. I heard that friends change once you're divorced or widowed. I really haven't found that. I don't go out with other couples and I entertain at home much less than we used to, but all of my friendships have remained. I'm so thankful for that! Regarding friends -- it will be tempting to rely heavily on them for advice, venting, emotional healing and to just fill up loneliness left from your dh. This is just mho, but it's a lot for our friends to take on sometimes. I was really careful not to overload friends emotionally. I walked through a hard divorce with a very good friend years ago and ended up spending lots of time on the phone with her, with others and walked with her so closely through it that it was emotionally taxing on me. I had to step back at one point just for space and I think it felt like I was pulling away. Anyway, in my situation, friends have definitely walked with me through this and I've tried as much as possible, to not overload any one friend. Exercise -- this sounds crazy but exercise has been so helpful to give me some alone time, to expend emotional energy and to get those good endorphins. Homeschooling -- it sounds like your kids will be grieving. Do the things that feed you all emotionally and spiritually through this. Read uplifting books together, take a day off for a field trip or masterly activity when everyone is having a sad day and cut back to the core subjects if all of the financial/legal issues become overwhelming. If friends ask how to help, meals were hugely helpful to us for the first few months. Try to keep the same routines and same rules for your children. Stability is good and routines are your friend. I think mostly it's going to be important for you to just be okay with lowering your expectations of yourself right now. xoxo to you ~ Lisa P.S. Here's something I wrote that expresses a lot of what I was feeling about single parenting in the trenches. I feel rambly right now but this sums up a lot of what I feel sometimes! I can tell you, there are really hard days where I just want to cry into a pillow and there are really, really great days. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I repeat the call to see a lawyer ASAP. Sometimes cold hard reality needs to hit a man in the face. Your DH is not in reality right now. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I am so sorry to read this. :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Umsami, my sister, I am crying tears for you. :grouphug: Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives and the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere.― (155) Who say: when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah we belong and to Him is our return." (156) They are those on whom (descend) blessings from their Lord and Mercy and they are the ones that receive guidance. (157) Qur'an 2:155-157 I don't have much advice that hasn't already been given here. I strongly agree with seeing a lawyer and removing the passports from the premises. DH suggests a safe deposit box belonging to someone you trust. 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 This is so not my area of the law, but according to the internet you can get a temporary child support order before you separate or divorce. http://info.legalzoom.com/can-child-support-im-not-divorced-yet-23933.html Yes but it is temporary. Ultimately you need to move in that direction. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: Um Sami. I may be off here, but from your comment it kind of lead me to think of what I have seen some families go through here in the USA while watching what is going on in their homeland (I can't recall right now where your DH or you are from, sorry),but watching your nephews/aunts/cousins/uncles etc being killed, run off their lands, terrified, living in refugee tents has affected more than a few marriages here. You are on one hand thankful that your immediate family/children are safe but biting at the bit to do more than phone calls, $ when you can, etc. We can't hand out visas, send the $10000s it would take to get them out of tents and into a home, get them their land back, etc. I don't know if this is the case in your shoes (the no contact thing kind of led me there. Like he might not be able to contact you, iykwim.) If this is the case, I would watch what I say to the kids as it may all come to naught when he tries to put a plan into action. I have seen a few "midlife crisises" of plans to go beat up the Daesh come to zilch. If I'm off, please ignore, but it just came to mind. Also think about getting a power of attorney for childcare if you need one when you are on your own. We have one because, if when DH travels overseas, something happened to me and I was unconscious I do not want the kids in foster care (We have no blood family here). Take care and if you need anything please PM me. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 i will write more tomorrow, but for tonight i wanted to give you a hug. :grouphug: :grouphug: i pm'd you. let us know what we can do. ann 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymonster Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: I've done the pseudo-single-parent thing, but permanently is a whole other ball game. (((Umsami))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 (hugs) (hugs) (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I only know you from your posts, but I get that you are intelligent, level-head, and strong. You can do this. I don't have any specific advice for this kind of situation (other than contacting a lawyer ASAP seems like a very, very good idea), but I would generally caution against sharing too much online. You probably already thought of that, though. And more :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer&Mom Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Yes but it is temporary. Ultimately you need to move in that direction. Of course. I just didn't want OP to think she had to wait to pursue child support. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Sorry you are going through this. I have a friend who went through this a few years ago. It all happened pretty suddenly but she found out more of the reasoning behind his actions as time went on. She's incredibly strong but it was a huge year of upheaval including putting kids back in school and moving, she had some support from counselling too. She has 4 kids. Life calmed down after a while and got back to normal without the kids father and she's doing well. The kids seemed to take a while to process it and their reactions to it seemed to happen a good year or so down the line and still can come out now at totally unexpected times as stress and anger and frustration that they don't seem to know how to handle, especially her eldest. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I only know you from your posts, but I get that you are intelligent, level-head, and strong. You can do this. I was thinking the same thing. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I am so very sorry. These life-altering events are devastating, I know. But as others have said, I can tell you are a very kind, warm, loving, intelligent, thoughtful woman. Your children are so lucky to have you. You will be okay. I'll be praying. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 get papers such as birth certificates, marriage license, social security cards, passports, credit card statments, bank statements, car registration, lease, anything, and get them out of the house and hidden at a friends house. He has prob been planning this for a while and has a head start. Protect yourself, protect your kids. Don't underestimate what he is capable of. I am not saying he is a bad person. I don't know anything about him at all. Just don't underestimate because you can't afford to right now. See a lawyer ASAP, he probably already has. If he is going to leave, just leave, then you need some way to resolve this legally. You need some declaration of custody and legal status of your marriage. Take your name off any joint credit cards. Remember, if there is no legal statement saying otherwise, you both have full access to all bank accounts and the kids. He could take all the money out of the bank, run up the credit cards, take the kids and leave you. I am not saying he would, ok? I am just saying that he can. If there is any money in any bank account that you consider yours (a gift from your parents, money you have earned etc) take it out while you still can. Open a new account at a different bank and put it in there. 28 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I am so sorry that you and your children are going through this. I had this happen when I only had one child. I can't imagine. It with four! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenC Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 get papers such as birth certificates, marriage license, social security cards, passports, credit card statments, bank statements, car registration, lease, anything, and get them out of the house and hidden at a friends house. He has prob been planning this for a while and has a head start. Protect yourself, protect your kids. Don't underestimate what he is capable of. I am not saying he is a bad person. I don't know anything about him at all. Just don't underestimate because you can't afford to right now. See a lawyer ASAP, he probably already has. If he is going to leave, just leave, then you need some way to resolve this legally. You need some declaration of custody and legal status of your marriage. Take your name off any joint credit cards. Remember, if there is no legal statement saying otherwise, you both have full access to all bank accounts and the kids. He could take all the money out of the bank, run up the credit cards, take the kids and leave you. I am not saying he would, ok? I am just saying that he can. If there is any money in any bank account that you consider yours (a gift from your parents, money you have earned etc) take it out while you still can. Open a new account at a different bank and put it in there. I agree. Protect yourself financially. Close out your bank account and open a new one. Remove yourself from any jointly held credit cards. I don't know about jointly held loans. Talk to your lending company. Look into child support. Maybe the situation will improve once he's thought this through. But right now, I would be very proactive on anything financial. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SumSum Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 UmSami, I'm so so sorry to hear this. :grouphug: :grouphug: "For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease" (Quran 94:5). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I really don't know. He says it is permanent and he will have no contact with the kids. I am hoping that is not the case. He does realize he will have financial obligations to the kids regardless of if he sees them, right? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 No advice, just :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I really don't know. He says it is permanent and he will have no contact with the kids. I am hoping that is not the case. I'm so sorry. I value your perspective on this board a great deal, and I am sad to know you are in pain. :grouphug: 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 ((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))) I am so so sorry that you and your children are having to go through this heart wrenching time. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 If your husband is a citizen of another country, it is that much more imperative that you get legal help today. If he changes his mind and decides to take any of the children, you need to preemptively block him from doing so especially because not all countries will honor an American custody order. That also changes how you would handle visits and such later on if he changes his mind and wants to see them. The fact that he's said this at all, even if his changes his mind, means you need to be proactively protecting yourself financially and legally. Please consult a lawyer ASAP. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: I have hesitated to post more than just support. You've got so many great tips here already. But just in case - once you've got passports put away safely, you might still consider contacting authorities (I think it's the state dept) to put a hold on the kids' passports so that no one can take them out of the country without your written, notarized permission. Sadly, I have experience on that one. Thinking of you, and wishing you the very best. You are strong, articulate, and a wonderful advocate for your kids. You can do this. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I could not agree more about putting a hold on the kid's passports. I have a dear friend who just lost her children yesterday, and who knows if she will get them back. I am too emotional to go into it today, but the ex had PROMISED he would never take the out of the country, and she believed him, and now the kids are gone. How he pulled it off is beyond me, because he did not seem to have that much creativity. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Just wanted to add, everyone is talking about US passports, but if your kids are dual citizens (or he could get them a passport if they registered at the embassy here) you might want to stash away their birth certs. For most countries that is all he would need to get their passports. The ones I am aware of do not require the other parent to sign off on it. They could leave the country on the other passports. (although that may be tricky because ICE might ask where their visa is to be present in the USA in the 1st place is, but I've heard of it being done.) 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I have no advice but wanted you to know how sorry I am you're going through this and that you're in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanny Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Regarding a minor child travelling internationally with only one parent. To leave Colombia, that requires special paperwork. To leave the USA, I'm not sure... DD is a dual citizen (Colombia and USA), so she has 2 passports. To get the U.S. Passport for her, both my wife and I had to appear with DD before the U.S. Consul. To get the Colombian passport, only one parent needs to appear with the child. I am not certain what Colombian Immigration would do, if a Minor child arrived from another country, with only one parent. (assuming that they are not Colombian residents). I believe that would raise eyebrows here and that possibly Child Protection would be summoned to the airport and they would be held, until the situation could be verified. I would like to think that other countries are as strict as Colombia, but I fear that isn't the case! I hope the OP has spoken with or seen an Attorney by now and that kidnapping his children is not on the list of things her DH wants to do... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 So an unexpected situation came up where i will most likely be a single parent to our four kids. DH will not be local to help in any way. Money will be tight, but parents have offered to help me make it through the summer until all four can be in school. I am not looking forward to no back-up, whatsoever. What tips/advice would you offer? Umsami, I'm so sorry. Just to be clear, DH will not be providing any financial support? Will you need to work full time? I've been single parenting for five years, but I have financial support so my advice may or may not be useful. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kfamily Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 *edited* 21 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I am glad you have a lawyer. Get a FIRM custody order in place that allows you to go to your parents, move, relocate etc. You need FULL legal custody. Legal custody is different from physical custody. Let him know that if he thinks it will be too painful to talk to the kids, fine. But it is kinder to them to give one person, you full legal custody. If you don't have it they could be caught in a legal limbo. It doesn't mean he can't talk to them or see them or spend time with them. It is simply giving one person say over where they can go and what they can do. There will be no having to track him down to get permission to go to on a school trip in Canada, for example. It will save him trouble in the long run. I have had plenty of friend who split physical custody but had one parent have legal custody. It just makes things much easier. Otherwise both parents need to sign off on school records etc. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: again Um Sami, I am not going to quote for your sake, but please look into getting a full power of attorney for your hubby if you won't have a divorce/custody decree giving you full legal and physical custody of the kids. Without that FULL power of attorney you will not be able to do anything like renew passports, etc. You should be able to find one valid in your state (and or future intended state) as a sample (if you can't or don't have time to go to an attorney or get your lawyer to draw one up) and then just get him to go notarize it with you (AAA offices here in CA will do it, some banks, there are even mobile notaries who will come to you). I have one for DH that includes everything medical, financial, and related to the kids (I believe you have to mention specifically that permission is given to renew/obtain passports and travel) for when he travels/is unreachable. I would also remove him from any credit cards (and if you don't already get some cards in your name only that are separate as back ups in case). 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: I have nothing to add except how saddened I am by your situation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer&Mom Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I agree about full legal custody. My mom had full legal custody. I still saw my dad regularly, and he was still involved in my life. But mom was in charge, which was appropriate in our situation. I would still get a support order, even if you don't. expect him to comply. It gives you leverage. Our course your lawyer knows your situation best. I'm so glad you have a lawyer! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lewber Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I am very sorry you are going through this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Regarding a minor child travelling internationally with only one parent. To leave Colombia, that requires special paperwork. To leave the USA, I'm not sure... DD is a dual citizen (Colombia and USA), so she has 2 passports. To get the U.S. Passport for her, both my wife and I had to appear with DD before the U.S. Consul. To get the Colombian passport, only one parent needs to appear with the child. I am not certain what Colombian Immigration would do, if a Minor child arrived from another country, with only one parent. (assuming that they are not Colombian residents). I believe that would raise eyebrows here and that possibly Child Protection would be summoned to the airport and they would be held, until the situation could be verified. I would like to think that other countries are as strict as Colombia, but I fear that isn't the case! I hope the OP has spoken with or seen an Attorney by now and that kidnapping his children is not on the list of things her DH wants to do... Only partly beside the point, but unless a custody order has been broken, they cannot stop a parent from leaving the country with the kids. The passport is the ticket out. It is terrifying but unfortunately I have called the airport and was repeatedly told I needed limitations in the court order. Otherwise DHS will not get involved. Yet getting that in a court order, signed, is easier said than done. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I have a lawyer. But reality is, if he does leave the country, collecting any sort of support will be difficult. (Especially where he says he is going.) He says he will try to send some money for the kids, if he can....but reality is, I will not be able to count anything. Even getting the divorce will be difficult unless he cooperates. After a year, I can file for divorce based on abandonment...but even "serving "him will be difficult. He thinks contacting the kids will be too difficult for him emotionally. We are planning to move closer to my parents, but whether or not I will be able to, will depend on the courts and how they view my "relocating." I have zero family here, but I have supportive friends. I know we'll get through this, but I'm just kind of in shock. Thanks for all of your kindness and advice. My goal right now is try and keep things as stable for the kids...with their friends, activities, etc. More tonight. There are ways to do this. My ex refused to sign for a year. We made it. You will make it. Mine came around to contacting the kids. Still sees them 1x / year. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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