Jump to content

Menu

Backstage dance mom - Miserable or OK


shawthorne44
 Share

Recommended Posts

DD is in ballet.  They have a big recital in June at a genuine theater.  Because her group is still young, there will only be one stage mom in the backstage.  Probably 4-6 girls in her age bracket. Last week, the teacher told us about the logistics of the recital and I think she hoped a mom would volunteer right there.  DH spent an afternoon helping with the stage set so I'm thinking another of the mom's should step forward.  The teacher said that the front row will be reserved to us stage moms to sit.  

Will I miss some of DD's performance?  Will it be miserable?  Or will it be OK?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Our studio does it and I'm not a fan, but it's life. We volunteered to be videographers specifically so we wouldn't miss the performance. I keep hoping one year they'll have some of the older dancers help with the younger backstage so the parents can actually see the performance they're paying to have their children in. Ours has parents being runners and backstage, so more than just one or two are missing the recital.

 

My other idea was trading off so that parents were backstage with age groups they kids were not in, allowing the parents to see their kids perform and help, all at once.

 

We are facing this and I'm not pleased, but unless they provide a workaround it's the way it will be :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

dh and I always always volunteer backstage. That is where you want to be. You set the tone for how the dancers will spend their time. I bring books to entertain them and I take lots of pictures, if they are tiny I bring crayons and paper. I can get to know all the other dancers by name.  I get to watch from the wings and I see the whole performance that way. I think it is great. I've been doing it for years and I have never regretted being involved in that part of their shows.

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's a tough call.  I was the stage Mom.  I missed a lot of the initial part of the performance but DD had a panic attack before going on stage so I might not have had anything much to see anyway if I hadn't been back there.  At least being back stage I was able to step in and reassure her.  I also was able to prevent another mother, who was having a bit of a panic attack herself, from completely freak out the other little girls when she dropped off her daughter (they arrived WAAAAY late).  She started yelling and carrying on and it scared those poor kids.  

 

Can you ask the teacher what the set up will be?  How easy it will be to see your child perform?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I'd ask about seeing the show.  Is there only one performance?  I've been a stage mom a bunch of times.  It's not a huge deal in my world.  And it's actualy kind of fun because the kids are so cute and excited when they're younger.  I do like to see shows once from the audience perspective though.  Although if she has seats reserved for stage moms, maybe she's planning for you to see the dance?  I'd ask for more info.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At DD's studio they encourage the moms of the younger girls NOT to volunteer. Usually the younger girls are only in one show and they don't want the moms to miss it. But the older girls might be in 2 to 4 shows, so those parents would volunteer for some of the shows.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

dh and I always always volunteer backstage. That is where you want to be. You set the tone for how the dancers will spend their time. I bring books to entertain them and I take lots of pictures, if they are tiny I bring crayons and paper. I can get to know all the other dancers by name. I get to watch from the wings and I see the whole performance that way. I think it is great. I've been doing it for years and I have never regretted being involved in that part of their shows.

This was my mom. It was awesome to have her there. I don't think she ever watched from the audience lol.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've done it twice, once in my daughters' age group (8-10) and another with the teenage girls. I will never, ever sign up for the teenage girls again. Holy smokes yikes at the drama, rule breaking, and no you can't fix my bun only my mommy can do that. Not to mention I gave away all my emergency tampons that night.

 

I had a blast with my daughters and their friends.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not a dance mom here, but a former theater mom. Our kids did dozens of shows and we often were backstage parents. Giving up the chance to see it from the audience was worth it. We were there not only for our own kids' needs, but we could support and help the other kids when they were nervous, had costume issues, etc. Sometimes a kid came off stage and was in tears over a missed cue or something and being there to hug the kid was really nice. It was a way to make a difference in a kid's already stressful weekend. 

 

We started out doing ticketing but switched to backstage when we noticed that some of the backstage moms were catty and not very nice to the kids who weren't stars.  Some backstage moms were fabulous, but it only takes one mean one to ruin a kid's experience. 

 

But if it's not your thing, don't feel obligated to be the backstage mom.  Your dh has already contributed to the production, so you can sit back and let another mom tackle the backstage task. 

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It really depends on the dance school.  It can be great, and you get to see the bits you want to see. Or it can drive you nuts.  Frankly, that's sort of the way recitals are anyway, even if you're sitting in the audience -- they can be long and tedious, or they can be sort of fun -- it just really depends on the studio.

 

We've been involved in musical theater shows that I preferred spending my time backstage, zipping out to see a couple of the numbers I wanted to see.  Backstage had lots of fun stuff going on, great photo ops, other parents you can talk to rather than sitting quietly in your seat, snacks (many theaters don't allow snacks in the actual theater seating area).

 

OTOH, there have been plenty of shows I've felt like I've done ENOUGH ALREADY having spent hours and hours helping before opening night, and I wanted to plant myself in the audience for every single performance and just enjoy it.

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was in High School I helped out backstage with the younger girls at a few recitals. I didn't dance but my good friend did. She and all the older girls were asked to rope in some of their friends and we were all happy to do it! Is there any chance that you can suggest that to your studio?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love the backstage gig!  It's something I have done with my kids for many years.  Ask the studio if you will be able to see her performance, to clear that up.  

Over the years, I've put in dozens and dozens of buns in all kinds of hair, I've helped with broken straps, panic attacks, missing costume pieces, and medical issues of various kinds, and dealt calmly with nervous kids and parents.  I've repaired a tiara with twist ties scavenged from people's lunches, sewn a child into her costume (broken zipper), and improvised missing costumes for two students using only a pair of leggings, a hoodie, a feather boa, a plastic bag, and some bobby pins.  And I've told many, many dancers and actors that they looked beautiful and gave an amazing performance.  I wouldn't miss it for the world.

If backstage is not your thing, and you'll feel any kind of resentment or unhappiness about being there, then don't do it.  But if you like getting to know your kid's friends, being there in case your kid has an issue of some kind, being involved with your kid's activities, and/or generally making yourself useful, then give it a try.  

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok, I will do it.  The instructor said that we can come out to the front row or watch from backstage.  It sounds like I won't miss much of the performance.  Which was my main concern.  I've put forth some effort and I didn't want to totally miss out on the reward.  There is a rehearsal.  Honestly, the thought that another mom might ignore DD is what tipped the scales.   

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I always do it even if it means I don't see ds perform.  He is still young and I would prefer to be the one helping him with any potential disasters.  It is also a really good way of getting in the school's good books, knowing what is really going on and learning about the other children.  There will be plenty of time when ds no longer needs or wants me back stage so I am enjoying it whilst I can!

Stephanie

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...