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Ladies, talk me down... eviction.


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Speaking as a landlord, I'm on your side.  In the future make sure you have everything in writing as part of a legal rental agreement.  Landlords often think that since they own a property they can run the business the way they want and are unaware of tenant rights.   

 

Can you get assistance (HUD?).  You would have more legal protection and would possibly be able to find a higher quality rental.

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What does your lease say?  if there is a signed lease, the amount of rent on that lease is what will prevail, not the amount you wanted to negotiate him down to. Negotiation requires two parties to co

Actually, I'm a landlord and I would rather evict somebody and not deal with people forgetting to pay rent. Yes, I may take a hit on it being vacant. But longterm I would prefer to not have to deal wi

Myrnel, I don't see anyone saying the blame lays SOLELY at your feet. However, you do have a responsibility here, which you admitted in your very first line...you said it was partly or maybe mostly yo

I thought I had successfully re-negotiated the terms! Everyone seems to gloss that over as well. 

 

I don't think people are glossing over it. They just don't understand why you would think that when you had no verbal or written confirmation that the rent had been lowered.

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I have been hearing time and time again that I need to adhere to my contract.. my agreement with the LL. However what about him? He DID NOT hold up to his side. He gets off free as a bird and doesn't do repairs or takes months to do one thing and I can't TRY to re-negotiate my terms? What is so wrong with that? How was I supposed to know he didn't like it if he wasn't willing to communicate with me?

 

When does he get "in trouble" because he wasn't doing what he was supposed to? He signed the same contract. He was supposed to do things and he didn't. But I am the bad guy.

 

I don't get it. Sure I may have gone about it the wrong way but I *tried* communicating with him. I TRIED. HE was the one that did NOTHING for FIFTEEN months! YES, I didn't pay ONE month. Had I caught it myself or he told me it would have been rectified immediately. We had the money at the time. NOW we don't. He is suing to evict us BECAUSE he needs money. He told the judge himself. He needs to pay his taxes. Again, he told the judge himself.

 

I just don't see how ALL the blame can be laid SOLELY at my feet. A contract is a two way street!

 

And for those asking the continuance was so we could work it out ourselves. The LL told the judge he didn't have time to meet with us before the hearing so the judge gave 30 days.

Myrnel, I don't see anyone saying the blame lays SOLELY at your feet. However, you do have a responsibility here, which you admitted in your very first line...you said it was partly or maybe mostly your fault.

 

You also said you hid and didn't answer the door when he came in person. This was an opportunity to communicate with him if it had been important to you to work it out. I agree that it would have been much better for him to contact you continuously every single time you paid an inappropriate amount, as well as when you didn't pay at all. But, as I am a property owner and manager, I can tell you what a PITA it is to have to do this every month. he probably thought he was being gracious not to harp on you every month. Or maybe he's not such a great business man and he did not notice. So what if he didn't complain until he had bills to pay? Property owners have bills to pay.

 

I truly do wish you were not going thru this stress. But honestly, I don't think well of the way you villify the property owner and paint yourself as a hapless victim. Here's basic financial management: when you agree to pay for a service, you must continue to pay that amount for the term of the contract, whether things get better or worse. If I take out a loan for a car and my payment is $347.00 a month, then that is the amount I must pay until I sell the car or pay off the loan. I can't say, "Well, when I bought the car, gas was less expensive, but now it costs much more to fill the tank, so I'll just pay $300 per month, to make up for the larger gas bill."

 

The property owner is providing a service that you either can't or don't want to assume on your own. The owner is the one who had to put up the money to own it, must carry insurance on it, must pay real estate taxes on it, must put a new roof on when it is worn out. If you can't or don't want to do those things, then that is the service you pay for in renting.

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I don't think people are glossing over it. They just don't understand why you would think that when you had no verbal or written confirmation that the rent had been lowered.

 

I think she's saying she assumed if the landlord didn't agree he would have told her.

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Most states permit tenants to withhold rent for repairs not made only if they make the home uninhabitable. You lived there a year and did not make the repairs yourself, so the home apparently was habitable. Examples of defects that make a home uninhabitable are a lack of heat or running water or a mold infestation, not dirty carpet or a broken window pane. I don't know what your repairs were, but keep in mind that not all defects are created equal.

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I don't think people are glossing over it. They just don't understand why you would think that when you had no verbal or written confirmation that the rent had been lowered.

 

She thinks that because he didnt communicate with at all in 15 months to the contary.  She probably assumed that if he had a problem with he would have said so fromt he get go.

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She assumed. Assumptions won't hold up in court. If you use a service, you have an ethical responsibility to pay for it. You owe the man a pile of money, and frankly, asking him to take less is an affront. I have given grace on late rent payments, IF I can afford to wait, and IF the tenants notify me beforehand. If they're are late without talking to me, then I invoke the late fee. Yeah, I understand, relatives pass away, cars cease to run, etc. They have to understand that I have bills to pay: insurance, taxes, etc. People sign contracts. They should honor them. 

 

I'm not defending her. I was just trying to answer the question of why she thought the landlord agreed and I thought the reason was the landlord's silence, based on her posts.

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Exactly. My tenants can't just decide that since it's been a tight year they will pay less. 

 

Again, I'm not defending her. But from the original post, I think she lowered the rent on her own due to her mistaken idea that she could renegotiate based on the landlord not making repairs, not because she had a tight year.

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Trying to look at both points of view....I tend to be more on the side of the landlord here. 

 

I had a boss, at a job I hated, who every time I said I "assumed"  something would respond   "When you assume, you make an ass of you and me".  I may have hated that job...but I learned to never assume anything!

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Trying to look at both points of view....I tend to be more on the side of the landlord here. 

 

I had a boss, at a job I hated, who every time I said I "assumed"  something would respond   "When you assume, you make an ass of you and me".  I may have hated that job...but I learned to never assume anything!

 

I'm almost completely on the side of the landlord here. He sounds like he's not a good communicator, but that's not illegal. Plus, he did come by and she hid from him. (I reserve the right to change my mind if the OP lists repairs that if not made, made the place uninhabitable. I don't think that's the case.)

 

I, too, am a landlord with bills to pay. I just don't want the thread to head in a direction that's not based on OP's facts, unless people are speaking generally and not about her specific situation. I don't believe she ever said she decided to lower the rent based on having a tight year.

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I thought she hid because he showed up unexpectedly and she was still in her pajamas and didnt want to answer the door like that.  I also though the OP mentioned she tried to contact him after that to see what he wanted.

 

I know the OP is legally responsible for the back rent.   He does have an obligation to respond to her in a timely manner.  At least I would have thought so.  What a dink to let it go on for as long as he did.

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I do actually. He had me write a list of things wrong to give to him. I also mailed it. It is also in the lease that he is to fix things that need repairing. Just like I am supposed to pay rent he is supposed to fix things. It is in the laws as well.

 

Again, I wasn't "willfully" just not paying rent! I thought I had successfully re-negotiated the terms! Everyone seems to gloss that over as well. I wasn't saying .. Oh he just doesn't need this money, I am just not going to pay him. It was a reduction in rent for "damaged goods".

 

Yes, I paid a lesser rent. I asked him for it. He didn't say anything about getting less. How can taking it for over a year then filing for eviction be "right" after that long? He could have waited YEARS!

 

How do you hold the LL to their part of the contract?

 

I am having a problem wrapping my mind around the idea that as a renter, aren't following the basics of the contract you entered into. No one is saying that you can't try to re-negotiate your rent. I'm having trouble grasping how or why you thought it would be okay to reduce the amount paid in your rent without getting a response to your attempt. Is your main difficulty in misunderstanding the nature of negotiation? It, like a contract is a two way street. You attempted to re-negotiate the terms of your lease by sending a letter and didn't get a response, so there was not a successful re-negotiaion. The landlord doesn't have to communicate with you - by default, you should have assumed that he did not agree with your proposed terms. 

 

At any time, did you follow up on your request for repairs with him? You are not required to do so, but it's quite possible that he decided that he wasn't going to do them (they might not be required by law and he can do that for discretionary repairs) so he just let the matter lie. Maybe he lost your letter and decided if it was important, you'd contact him again. 

 

There is quite a bit of information out there on the internet on tenant rights and how to proceed with requesting repairs, etc., it isn't hard to find.  I found this brochure for you from Legal Aid NC. In a nutshell, it states the procedure to file a complaint against a landlord for failing to make repairs. Basically, if they don't respond to a written request, you take them to court for the repairs (you can ask the judge to have him pay the court costs). You cannot reduce your rent for failing to repair the home unless a judge orders otherwise. If there are health or building codes being violated by his failure to do the repairs, you need to contact the health department or the building inspectors office. 

 

I disagree with you that the ball is in his court at this point - you are the one who should be bending over backwards to contact him and make yourself available. 

 

You mentioned contacting Legal Aid and waiting for a call back - did you ever hear from them? They, more than anyone, can help you right now by explaining the legalities of the situation to you and perhaps they can negotiate with your landlord on your behalf. 

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I prefer to focus more on advising the OP on what to do now.  OP, if finances are an issue as it appears they are, please look into housing assistance from HUD or other social services.  You can also get free financial planning and credit assistance.  From your posts over at least the past year and I'm pretty sure before that as well, I think that finances and housing have been a long-time issue.  I hope that you and your family can find some ways to deal with this proactively.

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I thought she hid because he showed up unexpectedly and she was still in her pajamas and didnt want to answer the door like that. I also though the OP mentioned she tried to contact him after that to see what he wanted.

 

I know the OP is legally responsible for the back rent. He does have an obligation to respond to her in a timely manner. At least I would have thought so. What a dink to let it go on for as long as he did.

That's an easy problem to fix. You go to the door, poke your head out or talk through a crack and say, "Oh, Bob Overlord! So good to see you! Can you give me a sec to run up and throw on day clothes? I'm wearing my jammies and I'm confident you don't want to see me like this!"

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Oh yes, I forgot to mention. While we were at the hearing he mention he would be willing to reduce the rent if we went on assistance.

 

I think I am wrung out at this point. I still don't see how he gets away with things but I get called to the carpet. I can't rebut everyone's comments. I am to mentally and emotionally tired at this point.

 

Like I said before, if I had taken him to court..... instead of trying to get a reduction on my own... this could have been avoided. I talked to a lawyer then and I had a case. I was trying to keep it OUT of the court system. The repairs weren't things like a broken cupboard handle. We only have half the heat working. He knows this.. he admitted it in court today. The roof by the fireplace has mold and is dry rotted. He knows this too. There is more but as one other said... (paraphrasing) it must not be that bad if we are living here.

 

I need sleep. When I am this tired mole hills are mountains and everything is bleak. At this point I don't see what we can do. We just have to wait and see what the LL wants.

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I have been hearing time and time again that I need to adhere to my contract.. my agreement with the LL. However what about him? He DID NOT hold up to his side. He gets off free as a bird and doesn't do repairs or takes months to do one thing and I can't TRY to re-negotiate my terms? What is so wrong with that? How was I supposed to know he didn't like it if he wasn't willing to communicate with me?

 

When does he get "in trouble" because he wasn't doing what he was supposed to? He signed the same contract. He was supposed to do things and he didn't. But I am the bad guy.

 

I don't get it. Sure I may have gone about it the wrong way but I *tried* communicating with him. I TRIED. HE was the one that did NOTHING for FIFTEEN months! YES, I didn't pay ONE month. Had I caught it myself or he told me it would have been rectified immediately. We had the money at the time. NOW we don't. He is suing to evict us BECAUSE he needs money. He told the judge himself. He needs to pay his taxes. Again, he told the judge himself.

 

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Renting to you is his business. He is due that mo eu, regardless. It does not matter if you think he is now doing it "because he needs it." You are one month PLUS 18 months of reduced rent behind. He is due thatoney, period.

 

He can use it for Vegas, taxes, prostitutes, or charity.

 

And his agreement regarding the rental to YOU needed to be amended appropriately. Reducing rent on your end is not appropriate. Did you make the repairs?

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I wonder what the reason is in this case. To give OP a chance to work out a payment plan? To give her a chance to find a new place without an eviction on her record?

 

The continuance could be because errors were made on both sides. 

 

She thinks that because he didnt communicate with at all in 15 months to the contary.  She probably assumed that if he had a problem with he would have said so fromt he get go.

 

But you cannot renegotiate a written and signed contract without approval from both parties. Non-communication =/= approval. The onus is on her because she decided to pay less than contract amount without approval. 

 

I would try to find documentation on repairs he promised to do when you moved in, things not done, repairs you did yourself. Your credibility will come from the documentation, not he said/she said. 

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I think she's saying she assumed if the landlord didn't agree he would have told her.

I'm sure that's true, but a much more reasonable assumption would be that one continues to pay the contracted rent until told otherwise--not the other way around.

 

OP, I hope you are able to find another place soon or he's willing to work it out.

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Oh yes, I forgot to mention. While we were at the hearing he mention he would be willing to reduce the rent if we went on assistance.

 

 

That's awesome news! Go to the appropriate office tomorrow with your tax records and pay stubs and apply for assistance. If you do that there's a very good chance you'll get out of this mess without an eviction on your credit report.

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It's his money. Plain and simple. You owe it, both legally and ethically. Bummer of a place to be, but you put yourself there.

Good gravy. Would you talk to her like that face-to-face?? Have some compassion.

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She assumed. Assumptions won't hold up in court. If you use a service, you have an ethical responsibility to pay for it. You owe the man a pile of money, and frankly, asking him to take less is an affront. I have given grace on late rent payments, IF I can afford to wait, and IF the tenants notify me beforehand. If they're are late without talking to me, then I invoke the late fee. Yeah, I understand, relatives pass away, cars cease to run, etc. They have to understand that I have bills to pay: insurance, taxes, etc. People sign contracts. They should honor them. 

 

I do wonder at a landlord's obligation to honor a signed contract.  I am not a tenant or a landlord, but my nephew is a renter right now and he is dealing with a landlord who has been impossible to contact, but requires tenants to hand deliver rent to him monthly, without posting the hours he will be in his office!!  It's ridiculous.  So dn is finding he needs to keep the weekend before the first of the month pretty free, because he is forced to keep going back to the office again and again until he arrives when the LL is there, and hands him the check.  I just think that kind of blatant disregard for normal courtesy and respect is what gives LLs a bad name.  If Mynyel's LL was unresponsive to her repeated attempts to make contact, than I think he shares some of the responsibility for the problem here.  Morally, it's just not right to 1. pretend everything is fine and 2. fail repeatedly to return calls, then 3. take the tenant to eviction court when it's time to pay his taxes.  Whatever the law says, and it sounds like the state's law favors landlords, there is also (IMO) an obligation to be a decent human being, and that, in my book, includes responding to contacts and honoring one's contractual obligations.  

 

He's probably a drunk like my last LL.  

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If there is a problem with someone you are doing business with, you deal with it right away.  You cover your own ass by putting things in writing, by sending things with delivery confirmation etc.  If you don't like a contract that you signed, you can try to get the contract changed but if the other party refuses to change it then you are free to terminate the contract in the way outlined in the agreement.  Then you make sure that you do not sign other contracts that have unreasonable requirements in them.  

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Oh yes, I forgot to mention. While we were at the hearing he mention he would be willing to reduce the rent if we went on assistance.

 

I think I am wrung out at this point. I still don't see how he gets away with things but I get called to the carpet. I can't rebut everyone's comments. I am to mentally and emotionally tired at this point.

 

Like I said before, if I had taken him to court..... instead of trying to get a reduction on my own... this could have been avoided. I talked to a lawyer then and I had a case. I was trying to keep it OUT of the court system. The repairs weren't things like a broken cupboard handle. We only have half the heat working. He knows this.. he admitted it in court today. The roof by the fireplace has mold and is dry rotted. He knows this too. There is more but as one other said... (paraphrasing) it must not be that bad if we are living here.

 

I need sleep. When I am this tired mole hills are mountains and everything is bleak. At this point I don't see what we can do. We just have to wait and see what the LL wants.

(((Rachel)))

 

I am hoping everything works out for you.

 

I feel badly and I can understand you had good intentions with what you did to address the repairs needed.

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Mynyel--

 

It is his house.

 

You agreed to rent. You could have left if you did not like it. The law does not support your interpretation of legal contracts. If you ask and someone doesn't answer, for future reference, that is a big, fat, NO. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, but so that you don't make this mistake in the future.

 

If you cannot afford to rent, you need to go to HUD. Your landlord already pays taxes, or is trying to, if he can get the rent. It is not his responsibility to provide low-cost, high quality housing to the poor. The government does that.

 

http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/states/north_carolina/renting

 

One thing you may be missing is that property taxes are expensive. We happen to know, because we looked it up, that our rent barely covers taxes for the home we live in. She is making almost no money on our house. If we asked to negotiate rent in return for work on the house, she would come out negative. Because just owning a home in this area costs her money. Does that make sense? And those taxes are funding the roads you drive on, the schools your kids can attend, the parks, everything you use where you live. Water fountains. Stoplight repairs. Part of the emergency response team. All that is what she pays in taxes. So when we pay rent, it is not like she cashes that check and goes to Disneyland. She is a real person with responsibilities and a credit record just like us.

 

So your sense that--he owns this, he could rent for less, just doesn't want to--that doesn't compute. Anyone who owns a house is paying for the services that make that house a marketable commodity. Without services, it becomes a ghetto, where nobody wants to buy and live, and turns worthless. This is what's happening in certain parts of the rust belt, like Detroit.

 

So there is no option, you pay less, he gets less, zero consequences. It doesn't work that way. Your rent is tied to very real costs that he faces, which are costs that society incurs when it makes these neighborhoods.

 

This is why there's not a lot of sympathy from me for your sense that you should be able to just pay according to your ability.

 

If you can't pay for private rental property, you go to HUD. Been there, done that. :) You aren't alone. Good luck.

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Mynel, I too feel for you.  I'm a landlord (now), but we have a management company.  I am also a renter.

 

I do feel the Landlord missed the boat here.  Not that you didn't make mistakes, but that the Landlord had a duty to stick to his word (both on the repairs, and to return phone calls, to make appointments to discuss matters, etc.).  You were able to reach the landlord on several occasions where he agreed to discuss things, and then nothing would happen, he wouldn't call back, etc.  I'm glad the judge gave you both time to work things out, but I know how stressed you must be.

 

I'm sorry the law isn't more objective where you live -- but it sounds like the judge was trying to help you out (vs. just hitting the gavel and calling it done, which he could have done, too).  

 

((Hugs)) and prayers.

 

Lisa

 

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What steps are you taking to get the money?  In the best case scenario, in the short term you're either going to need to come up with January, March (have you now paid that?) and April rent, or with security deposit, April rent, and the costs associated with moving.  

 

Are you looking extra work for the 3 working age individuals in the household?  Are there things you can sell?  Car? Furniture?  I'd be doing everything in power to avoid having my kids homeless.

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Thanks ladies. I have looked at them in and out. I am with TechWife, I'm screwed. I will loose the case. I did things the wrong way to begin with so I have to love with my lumps but it's sad that a slum lord (you should see the house we rent) can get away with this when he wasn't fixing what needed to be. It sucks that he can wait 15 months and let us rack up an insurmountable amount of money (that we can't pay) and then plop an eviction on us. It sucks that he can put a family of 5 out on the street (so to speak) with nary a twinge. The laws in NC protect the LL not the tenant.

 

For instance. The LL needs to give a demand for rent due 10 days before he files for eviction. He never did. Like I said, we hadn't heard from him since last January. Oh good! I'll win the case you say. Uh-uh... nope, wrong answer. I still lose because he doesn't have to prove I got said notice. He just has to say he mailed it. Not his fault if the post office looses it. Doesn't matter that he lives 5 minutes away. If he isn't fixing things.. to bad... keep paying rent and you have to take him to court and spend money taking him to court to get a dead beat LL to do anything.

 

I guess this is a high priced lesson learned. Never again will I do anything without the court involved. I will not do anything without having it in writing either. Again it sucks. Things like this totally screw  things up for the good guys.

 

Do you know my husband and I have been renting since 1996? Almost 20 years we have been renting. Do you know I have only been late (that I can recall mind you) 4 times in 20 years? The rental we had before this we were in for 9 years. I was late once. The LL didn't even charge me a late fee because he knew I wasn't usually late.

 

Now we are going to have an eviction on out record with makes us look bad and it was all over ONE wrong choice and ONE mistake in 20 years. I makes me mad and makes me want to cry at the same time that someone like our landlord, who is a three time felon to boot, can totally screw us like this. How's that for justice? I KNOW I made a mistake but the consequences just seem to outweigh the "crime" here.

 

Sorry, just in the throes of despair.

 

 

I'm going to disagree with you here.  If you didn't pay the rent (for whatever reason) and decided to pay a lower rent (for whatever reason), he should be able to evict you.  We considered renting out our old house (instead of selling it) but we've heard so many rental horror stories (like this one) that we decided to just sell it.  If some renter decided to pay less rent or not pay, we (a family of almost 7) would be screwed.  We are a single income family and DH's income would not cover our new home's mortgage plus the old one.  Think about it that way.  Then, the mortgage company would be coming after US instead of YOU, which is not right.  LL's put themselves at huge risk because of this.  The renters always try to give reasons that they shouldn't have to pay, but you signed an agreement.  That's a legal contract.  You have to pay or be evicted.  If he wasn't fixing things that were in the agreement, you should have taken care of that in a legal way.

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I would agree, expect this is the exception not the rule for us. I don't do this kind of thing. Ever.  There was a period when we had more money than I thought we should. since I thought I already paid the bills I thought we had just bought less. We have been trying to save money and buying less.

 It is a flimsy excuse at best but I just wasn't paying attention. December into January is very busy for us and I just over looked it.

If I had just heard one peep from the LL about it I would have cut a check immediately. We didn't so I didn't think anything was amiss.

I know it isn't his responsibility to tell me to pay rent.. I am NOT laying THAT at his feet. What ticks me off was the waiting for 15 months before deciding to tell us he didn't agree with a lesser rent AND suing us for rent that we told him was coming and we had proof. THAT makes me mad.

 

Maybe it took him a long time to get the money it would cost to take you to court?  Maybe he HAD to let you stay there all that time paying whatever you felt like paying because he couldn't afford the legal proceedings at the time.  Just because he is a LL doesn't mean he has money.

 

So glad we sold our house instead of renting it out. What a nightmare.

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I am curious about something.  Where the repairs your landlord agreed to making in writing anywhere?  Not just a letter from you requesting them, but did he agree in writing? Also, did you actually make the repairs?  I think this may make a big difference in court.

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I do actually. He had me write a list of things wrong to give to him. I also mailed it. It is also in the lease that he is to fix things that need repairing. Just like I am supposed to pay rent he is supposed to fix things. It is in the laws as well.

 

Again, I wasn't "willfully" just not paying rent! I thought I had successfully re-negotiated the terms! Everyone seems to gloss that over as well. I wasn't saying .. Oh he just doesn't need this money, I am just not going to pay him. It was a reduction in rent for "damaged goods".

 

Yes, I paid a lesser rent. I asked him for it. He didn't say anything about getting less. How can taking it for over a year then filing for eviction be "right" after that long? He could have waited YEARS!

 

How do you hold the LL to their part of the contract?

 

Submitting an unresponded to request to lower rent and moving forward as if it were in force is not a sophisticated understanding of contracts. Were you intending to pay for the repairs yourself, and that is the basis on which rent should be reduced? That would, essentially = paying the same amount but you, as tenant, arranging repairs and using rent money to pay for those services. That is an understandable transaction, but needs explicit agreement.

 

The other possibility is that you thought rent should be lower due to X, Y, Z being wrong with the house. That is more complicated and nuanced, and absolutely needs a formal agreement. It's rare for LL to lower rent. They can charge essentially what they want, and are able to get that amount based on market forces. Your ability or perceived ability to pay is not related to establishing rental price.

 

He accepted your payments because you owed that money, and MORE. When you failed to pay January rent, and failed to make up for it, he took legal action using the missed rent payment and the missed partial payments of the last 18 months.

 

He has every right to do so.

 

Yes, he has obligations as well in that contract. But his right to expect money for contracted arrangements stays in force. The "other side" is only a mitigating force if you took appropriate channels to address the situation. It seems, however, that you did not. You simply lowered rent on your side of the contract.

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Please, one more person post and tell Mynyel she was WRONG. She might not be getting the message yet.

 

 

Mynyel, I think the LL is a complete jackass for not saying a word about the lower payments for 15 mos. Sickening. :grouphug:

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Please, one more person post and tell Mynyel she was WRONG. She might not be getting the message yet.

 

 

Mynyel, I think the LL is a complete jackass for not saying a word about the lower payments for 15 mos. Sickening. :grouphug:

 

I don't think it matters who is wrong.  Even if she made mistakes, or if her landlord is a (insert expletive of your choice), or both, right now she need to focus on protecting herself and her children from homelessness.  She and they deserve a safe place to live.

 

It seems like the 2 best scenarios outcome would be

 

1) The judge agrees that the LL needs to accept the partial payments, but Mynyel still needs to come up with January, March (?), and April in short order

 

2) The find a nice new place and manage to move before an eviction, but still need to come up with a security deposit and first month's rent.

 

Either way, she's going to need substantial cash.  

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Dudes. Ladies. Seriously.

 

I think y'all's point has been made.

 

A mother, with children, is facing serious uncertainty about where she is going to live. The stress is high. The immediate need to figure out where her roof will be: that is where her energy needs to lay.

 

Everyone piling on with how she screwed up or is wrong can stop. Just stop. Are you correct? Perhaps. Are you helpful? No, not really, not at this juncture. There will be no prize awarded for the most long winded lecture lambasting the OP, nor are any of the same handful of posters being paid by the word for the lecturing. So let it go and let this woman get practical advice and support on how to not end up homeless at the end of this continuance.

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I don't think it matters who is wrong.  Even if she made mistakes, or if her landlord is a (insert expletive of your choice), or both, right now she need to focus on protecting herself and her children from homelessness.  She and they deserve a safe place to live.

 

It seems like the 2 best scenarios outcome would be

 

1) The judge agrees that the LL needs to accept the partial payments, but Mynyel still needs to come up with January, March (?), and April in short order

 

2) The find a nice new place and manage to move before an eviction, but still need to come up with a security deposit and first month's rent.

 

Either way, she's going to need substantial cash.  

 

Yes, I really feel for Mynyel in this situation.

 

Several years ago we had a bounced check snafu with our rental.  Our landlord completely flipped out on us, and that was when we learned about his awful temper.  We lived there for 2 1/2 more years after that trouble and I wish we would have moved out sooner.  He was awful to live with.  I lived in fear, every single day of the month, that we would not be able to pay our rent on time.  Our lease was bare-bones, and once the first year passed it was month-to-month.

 

We had constant problems with the sewer backing up, and the first time he sent a company to dig out the roots growing through the pipes.  When DH called him six months later, he flipped out that we must be doing something to make it worse and did we know how much it cost to have it fixed.  After that, when the sewer would start backing up, DH went and rented a machine and had to clean it out himself.  

 

Anyway, my point being that if you can at all, I highly recommend taking this opportunity to move and have a fresh, clean start for your family.  I was stressed to the max the whole time we lived in that house, and when we moved out, I literally felt the stress lift off me.  It may seem easier at the time to not deal with the hassle of moving, but having that stress and fear in your life is not worth it.

 

ETA: Do you have any family nearby that you could move in with for a month or so?  That's what we did when we moved out of the place above.  We moved in with family for just three weeks, while we waited for our next home to be cleaned out.  It's amazing how our bank account flexed with just three weeks of not having the usual household expenses.  

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OP's landlord did not yell at her.

 

He accepted a partial payment for over a year and did not go to court until he needed cash to keep the home.

 

I agree that she needs to get out NOW. If he cannot pay the taxes, they're all going to be out of that home, because it could be foreclosed on.

 

Mynyel will be wishing for the days when nobody called about late or insufficient rent. The bank will call, oh, how they call!

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Dudes. Ladies. Seriously.

 

I think y'all's point has been made.

 

A mother, with children, is facing serious uncertainty about where she is going to live. The stress is high. The immediate need to figure out where her roof will be: that is where her energy needs to lay.

 

Everyone piling on with how she screwed up or is wrong can stop. Just stop. Are you correct? Perhaps. Are you helpful? No, not really, not at this juncture. There will be no prize awarded for the most long winded lecture lambasting the OP, nor are any of the same handful of posters being paid by the word for the lecturing. So let it go and let this woman get practical advice and support on how to not end up homeless at the end of this continuance.

But Lucy, there are things Mynrel is saying throughout this thread that gives me concern that similar problems will crop up with landlords, whether she remains here or she goes elsewhere. Even since she has been to court, she said "the ball is in his court." Is this accurate? Why would a continuance mean the ball is in HIS court? if the LL remains as uncommunicative as she says he has been, he may let weeks go by without calling her or whatever and then "surprise" her by saying now she has even more fees and charges due.

 

Has Mynrel paid March rent? Is April rent about to come due?

 

I am positive it is a very stressful and frightening position to be in. All the more reason why, whatever was done before, Mynrel cannot afford to sit by thinking the ball is in his court, while who-knows-what is revving up in the background. This is the time for her to become proactive.

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But Lucy, there are things Mynrel is saying throughout this thread that gives me concern that similar problems will crop up with landlords, whether she remains here or she goes elsewhere. Even since she has been to court, she said "the ball is in his court." Is this accurate? Why would a continuance mean the ball is in HIS court? if the LL remains as uncommunicative as she says he has been, he may let weeks go by without calling her or whatever and then "surprise" her by saying now she has even more fees and charges due.

 

Has Mynrel paid March rent? Is April rent about to come due?

 

I am positive it is a very stressful and frightening position to be in. All the more reason why, whatever was done before, Mynrel cannot afford to sit by thinking the ball is in his court, while who-knows-what is revving up in the background. This is the time for her to become proactive.

I don't disagree with the thrust of this but feel quite strongly that this thread need not be the place where everyone, most of you several times over apiece, exhaustively enumerate the ways that the OP is at fault here.

 

You will note that my first post was a suggestion to find a plan, backup plan and backup backup plan for what to do to avoid homelessness.

 

A mother and children are facing homelessness. Children.

 

Frequently there are systemic and financial management problems that will crop up with multiple landlords when a family is housing insecure. The help needed to solve those problems, I promise you, is not most effectively delivered with eviction looming on the internet. Besides, everything that can be said, has been said. Not once, not twice, not even in triplicate but in some cases 6 or 7 times. It's ok to be right but to be more graceful about *when and how* to express that.

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But Lucy, there are things Mynrel is saying throughout this thread that gives me concern that similar problems will crop up with landlords, whether she remains here or she goes elsewhere. 

 

And is Mynyel a child or a person you have a responsibility to teach?

 

Is there one single person here who thinks Mynyel has not been lectured enough, even if we begin from the assumption that it is appropriate for a bunch of people to take it upon themselves to provide such lectures to a person who is clearly already vulnerable, stressed and in crisis?

 

As someone said earlier in the thread, there's plenty of time for Mynyel to get introspective later. Right now, it seems to me that what she needs is compassion and practical advice for dealing with the current crisis.

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OP's landlord did not yell at her.

 

He accepted a partial payment for over a year and did not go to court until he needed cash to keep the home.

 

I agree that she needs to get out NOW. If he cannot pay the taxes, they're all going to be out of that home, because it could be foreclosed on.

 

Mynyel will be wishing for the days when nobody called about late or insufficient rent. The bank will call, oh, how they call!

 

My point was the stressful and strained relationship with the landlord- even after we fixed the wrong.  Even if Mynyel comes up with the past due money and satisfies the landlord... then what?  There's an oops down the road, or a necessary repair need comes up and she feels she can't call him to have it fixed... 

 

It IS rotten all around.  I just wanted to let Mynyel know that she is not alone, that other people have made mistakes and understand what she's going through.  In retrospect, I wish we would have moved out when that first year was up on our lease instead of staying there.  But moving sucks, and I get that too. 

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As someone said earlier in the thread, there's plenty of time for Mynyel to get introspective later. Right now, it seems to me that what she needs is compassion and practical advice for dealing with the current crisis.

People have given a lot of great advice.

 

--Borrow $ and get out now.

--Live with family.

--go to HUD like, yesterday.

--Document everything you did.

 

Mynyel is not responding to this but repeatedly saying that it's not totally her fault.

 

I agree, it doesn't matter at this point who is at fault but if she is not moving on key urgent issues like calling HUD this minute, calling parents, finding housing for herself, arranging a way to move stuff, she could be in trouble.

 

And what is preventing her from finding real solutions is not lack of advice.

 

Ir is lack of understanding, IMO, of the situation that is leading her to make choices (such as trying to stay in the apt.) that are not in her best interest.

 

It's like there is still this idea that she needs to be talked down.

 

But this is actually not a talking down situation. They are moving towards a serious emergency. Hence, the repeated attempts to point out why this is the case.

 

If Mynyel was like, okay, I called hud, I borrowed X from my mom, we're settling, my FIL is bringing his truck... Nobody would still be trying to make her see this.

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I lost my job 4 years ago during the great depression.  It was a scary situation as a single mom of 2 teens (now.)  Mynyel, I would suggest looking carefully at your expenses and cut to the bone and more.  Check to see if you qualify for any assistance.  If you or others in your household can hold down additional work, do it.  Cut your budget, then cut some more. Sell things if you can.  If you can stay with family or friends for even a month or so, that can help a lot.  I thought we were going to be homeless when I couldn't find a job.  Thanks be to God, that didn't happen.  It's tempting to want to hide away, but you can't.  I think you should free up any money possible for a likely move first, then try to set up a payment plan with your landlord or with the court if that's possible.  Regardless of mistakes that were made, you have to go forward now.  Blessings and prayers for you and your situation.

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Maybe the OP hasn't moved to a new rental because

 

a) they don't have the money to do so and nobody to borrow from

 

b) there isn't anything available or

 

c) they don't qualify for any govt help.

 

So she has been stuck living in some place that is perhaps substandard and feeling like she hasn't a lot choices available to her. Living in a substandard place is better than living nowhere.

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