fairfarmhand Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 The Easter basket thread has me thinking about what party poopers my family are. We don't really have any traditions other than staying home on Christmas and Easter. We used to do Easter baskets and then I got more kids than I could afford to fill a basket for. We used to bake cookies and I tried to do other traditional holiday stuff, but it just kind of petered out. My dh doesn't care for traditions for some reason. So if there's going to be one, it's all on me and he wants no part of it. So I just got tired of doing it all and quit. Is there a reason I should care that we have no traditions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I don't care what others do or don't do, but the one non-negotiable tradition hubby and I have is we go away somewhere for every single annual anniversary even if it's a day trip somewhere. More often it's a 3 day trip. Once in a while it's been a longer trip. We also have a picture taken each year that later hangs on our wall and records our lives/looks through the years. As a self-professed travel junkie who definitely gets "high" off travel, this is a tradition I'm not breaking for anything. We also go out to eat somewhere monthly on our anniversary date - even if we're poor and all we do is have a taco apiece. We did miss three of these in 26+ years. Once we were both puking sick, so went out the next day knowing we'd feel better than keeping the tradition. Once I was doing radiation and DID NOT FEEL like eating at all - period. Hubby made up for it the next month. Once we were snowed in from a storm. We thought ahead and ordered Chinese in. Traditions with our kids? I don't know that any are/were set in stone. There were many things we did like hide Easter baskets and certain meals for holidays, etc. Perhaps they consider those traditions. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 It's not that I can't stand traditions. I just don't understand them. Why should we do a certain thing this year just because we did it last year. This is pretty much word for word what my dh says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I'm too lazy to do most traditions. I'm also not a huge fan of creating opportunity for disappointment/discontent if, for some reason, the tradition can't happen. We still have some, I guess, but small scale rather than large. We do a basket or small treasure hunt for Easter. There is no "traditional meal", though. Birthdays - some years we have a party, some we go to a theme park as a family, some we go out for supper. Christmas - we exchange gifts. Meals and locations change. Thanksgiving is either a non-event or sometimes a turkey dinner, but we get to decide instead of "have to do it because, tradition". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 We don't do Santa, but we have a treasure hunt (sometimes with rhyming clues) every Christmas morning leading to the kids' stockings. I can't think of anything else we do every year, though we have other loose traditions just for fun. I don't do anything because I feel obligated to or just because we always have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 We have a few family traditions, but very few. And none of them revolve around any holiday except reading daily little excerpts during the month of December. Essentially an advent tradition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I dont do anything for the sake of tradition but there are many things we do every year, like easter baskets. We do them because we enjoy them. Once we stop enjoying them we'll stop doing them. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 We always do pajamas in their Easter baskets - they're practical. I think one year when they were little, I found pj's on sale & thought adding it to their baskets made them seem fuller - we were on a tight budget. :lol: From then on, it just became the tradition. If they ever requested something different, we'd change it up, but it's never come up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I dont do anything for the sake of tradition but there are many things we do every year, like easter baskets. We do them because we enjoy them. Once we stop enjoying them we'll stop doing them. Same here. One year I even mentioned that when they stopped believing in Santa Claus he stops bringing gifts. Santa still visits our house every year. My guys tell me they still believe... and support it with documentaries like Elf. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocassie Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I'm not a big fan of traditions, especially because "this is the way we have always done it." I think "traditions" can be fun and be a part of on-going family/friend culture, but if it becomes a burden, doesn't work anymore, or most don't want to do it, then it's time to scrap it. Here, we do a plastic egg hunt (outside in the yard, weather permitting) rather than Easter Baskets. The kids really enjoy it and DH and I enjoy putting them around the yard. I hope it creates some fond memories for everyone. As they get older it may morph into something else and that's okay. Christmas, we stay home. No travel unless for something extraordinary. Thanksgiving we usually spend with my BFF at her cottage, but we have changed plans as needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 We're not much on traditions. I guess the closest we come is having cinnamon rolls for breakfast on Christmas morning. Otherwise we just kind of go with whatever's happening. I never really thought about why, but I guess one reason is because almost all of our extended family lives within an hour, so one holiday meal/event might be at one person's house one year and another person's house next year. I never could get into the commercialization of Easter. Isn't it bad enough what Christmas has become? And I'm contrary/independent enough that I can't stand the idea that you're supposed to do a particular thing on a particular day. What if it's July 4 and I don't feel like having a cookout, going to a baseball game or fireworks??? Or if we don't happen to want turkey and pumpkin pie on the fourth Thursday in November??? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Guess I'm the odd one out--I love traditions, and we have a lot of them. I do agree that they should be changed or scrapped if they become a burden/unpleasant. I think they build good memories. We go to a liturgical church, so we celebrate our faith in a rhythmic way. The "circle of the church year" has deep meaning to me. More than "we've always done it this way," it is a way that connects us to the past AND the future, and that connectedness is what I enjoy most about all the traditions (family and church-related) that we celebrate. YMMV, though. I do like living a life that has touchstones and markers. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted March 24, 2015 Author Share Posted March 24, 2015 We go to a liturgical church, so we celebrate our faith in a rhythmic way. The "circle of the church year" has deep meaning to me. More than "we've always done it this way," it is a way that connects us to the past AND the future, and that connectedness is what I enjoy most about all the traditions (family and church-related) that we celebrate. See I can do this with church stuff. I love Eucharist and the ritual that goes with it. I guess there just has to be a good reason for it for our family. Maybe my dh grew up with people who continued doing x, y, and z because it was tradition, even when it was no longer practical or meaningful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I love traditions...sorry! :D All our big kids get something nice for Easter--expensive chocolate and something they want or need. Nana and Papa always make goodie baskets for the grand babies....we are building the grandchildren a home library so they get a book, some chocolate, glow sticks and kite and eggs and a new outfit each. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 As long as the tradition is not a burden I love them. Our traditions all seem to revolve around food. Certain menu items must appear on the holiday table or it just isn't right. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Does anyone else hear Topol singing Tradition? "How did this tradition get started? I'll tell you. I don't know." :) I love traditions. Most of ours also revolve around food, but there are also a few things we always do on some holidays or special occasions. To me they serve two purposes: 1. To create memories. 2. To connect the generations of a family. If a tradition becomes a burden then it's no longer a tradition and it's okay to drop it. It's also okay to modify an old tradition or start a completely new one. I have a hard time thinking of traditions as pointless though. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I love traditions! Some are new, some I grew up with and some are inspired by things I grew up doing. Dh did not grow up with any traditions so we didn't have any issues there regarding differences. For us it's about fun and connection. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 My dh doesn't care for traditions for some reason. So if there's going to be one, it's all on me and he wants no part of it. So I just got tired of doing it all and quit. Is there a reason I should care that we have no traditions? I think it's a family culture thing. If you and your dh are fine without some traditions, so be it. I don't want to work myself into a frazzle keeping a tradition, but I like that the rhythms it builds into our family. I know some families that do way more than us, some less. Lisa 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liza Q Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Our traditions mostly revolve around food, but we have modified them over the years as our children got older. We trim the Christmas tree the Saturday after Thanksgiving and eat Pillsbury Christmas Tree cookies. Homemade ones will not do! We celebrate St. Nicholas Day with gifts in their shoes - candy, quarters, and a DVD or CD. I make Sauerbraten, potato balls, red cabbage and apple kuchen! More gifts in their shoes on Three Kings Day - and I make Pollo Guisado, Rice, and flan! We have traditions for Valentines Day, St. Patrick's Day, July 4th, Labor Day, Michaelmas, their birthdays, etc. None of these things take a lot of time, really. And we have changed things as they got older! When they were younger, we would have a Medieval Feast on Michaelmas, wear costumes, and put on a St. George and the Dragon skit. Now, we have totally changed it! We watch a Jane Austen DVD with no costumes...but we still have the special dinner, especially the blackberry cobbler! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I don't like traditions just because they're traditions. Those we do, we do because we enjoy them. If no one is enjoying the tradition or continuing a tradition is impractical, then stop doing it. If you still want to do some traditions, then you can look into other traditions other people do and try some that look promising. If they're doable and enjoyable, keep going with them. If not, try something else or be at peace with not doing any. I think there's a temptation by some people to poo-poo some traditions just because they don't relate directly to the holiday. They’re not always about the specific holiday, they're often about having family time together. People often make foods and do activities that are particularly suited to larger gatherings of people hanging out together all day regardless of what event began the holiday in the first place. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 I fill my kids Easter baskets with chocolate because my mother filled mine. I play the Beatles' Birthday song for them because my mom played it for me. Traditions allow me to pass on my family's culture and make sure that my kids know something about who they came from and who they are. It helps inform where they are going. We aren't beholden to traditions but we don't reject them out of hand either. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda S in TX Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 We love traditions and look forward to them. We have a New Years party every year. Lots of finger foods. We watch a movie. At midnight we go out in the front yard and watch the neighbors set off fireworks. On birthdays, we have a small family party. The birthday person picks the meal and the dessert. On Mother’s Day, I get breakfast in bed, and we make stepping stones with the children’s footprint in it. Thanksgiving, we go to my inlaws. The two of them, plus my family, my mom and sister, and my sisters fiancé spend the day together. Christmas we send gifts to a family in need. On Family Birthday (our anniversary) we celebrate big. No school. Steven would take a day off from work. We have special food. We have an oak board where we measure everyone’s height. Presents for everyone. At the end of the day, Steven and I would get take out from Chili’s. On gift giving occasions, the person always gets JOY gifts. J is for Jesus, something for their Christian walk. O if for others. This is a gift to share with the family. Y is for yourself, and that is a personal gift. Also a book. Fourth of July we cook out and after dark watch the cities fireworks from our driveway. First day that fall is really here (it’s all nippy and you can feel it in the air), we sit out on the porch after dark and drink hot drinks. We get pictures in the bluebonnets every year (and have for the last twenty years). On Valentine’s everyone makes cards, pictures, or something for the others saying how much that person means to them. There is also something sweet and a small gift for everyone. Every Valentine’s Day, Steven would buy me roses. This year was my first Valentine’s Day without Steven. There was a vase of roses on the counter. The card said, “Dearest Mama, These roses are a present from Papa. Papa’s address has changed, and he can’t give them to you himself. But, we know that he still loves roses-and you. This is from him. Happy Valentine’s Day!†It was signed by all the children. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Hmm, reading about traditions others have has helped me realize we have many too (certain foods for holidays, certain plans for birthdays, etc). I guess I didn't consider them traditions. They're just what we do. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Hate 'em. I try to minimize them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Our traditions within our nuclear family are precious to me. But I am flexible and know that what is good for our family today may not be in 5, 10, or 20 years. I have an extended family member who feels days are ruined if the traditions carried over from our childhood our not upheld exactly; I don't feel that way and I thnk it makes a huge difference in how I experience life. Our traditions: Birthday person gets to pick resteraunt/meal Birthday and Christmas always includes new book Santa gets fresh baked cookies (DH started this....one day I will get him back :P ) Easter baskets are filled with stuff to pass the extra time at church over the long weekend The cook does not wash dishes We make ornaments for the Christmas tree as a family Weekly game night I think that covers it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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