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Moving Toddler Birthday?


Lawyer&Mom
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I'm pregnant, due in September. Dd turns 2 in October. I'm thinking about celebrating her birthday early. August? It's that or celebrate with a newborn... Has anyone done this? Obviously Dd won't know the difference, but will friends and family be as eager to participate knowing its not her "real" birthday?

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I'm pregnant, due in September. Dd turns 2 in October. I'm thinking about celebrating her birthday early. August? It's that or celebrate with a newborn... Has anyone done this? Obviously Dd won't know the difference, but will friends and family be as eager to participate knowing its not her "real" birthday?

 

I'd rather celebrate with a newborn than celebrate two or three months early.

 

I don't think friends or family members will actually care, but they may think it's really odd, which is no reason not to do it, but still...I'd do it in October.

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I think that's a great idea.  Some friends and family might think it's odd, but do what works for you.

 

We've celebrated the birthday of one of my son's on the "wrong" day his whole life.  Some people think it's fine, others think it's weird, and some think it's practically scandalous.  But it works for us. :)

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Unless you are throwing a huge shindig - and why would you? - just have a family get-together, with cake, and presents, and show off Baby as the toddler rips into her gifts.  Maybe ask folks to contribute to a pot-luck, since you do have a new baby. Could a Grandma or Aunt make a cake?  The birthday girl will neither know, care, nor remember who did what to make her day happen. 

 

 

It is one thing to have a party a week before or after a birthday, but over a month is pushing it.  You are more apt to get folks to come if you do October.  They will want to see the new baby, too (and might bring something for the newborn, too).  Just my thought.

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I would find it odd to celebrate a birthday several months early.

 

I'd rather be inclined to have a small, no frills celebration on the actual date- a 2nd birthday does not have to be an elaborate affair. Ask family to bring a cake and balloons because you have a newborn.

 

ETA: Come to think of, my DS was born two weeks before DD's 2nd birthday. It was no big deal. But then, I don't throw a huge party for a toddler anyway - we had cake with grandma, for 20 minutes.

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I wouldn't be eager to celebrate months early. Especially since the birthday kid is only turning 2. How fancy of a celebration are you planning for a 2yo? Give the kid a cupcake with a 2 candle on it in October, let her take a picture and go on about your day. Celebrating a 2nd birthday with a newborn around shouldn't be vastly different except for the fact that you'll probably be lactating...

 

I say float the idea around with people in your social set and see what they think. It'd never fly with me, personally, but I'm kind of boring.

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As a guest, I probably wouldn't prioritize going unless there was a real reason behind the move.

I mean...toddler parties should be simple. The younger the birthday kid, the easier it is. The party is for the adults, not the kids at this age. Adults shouldn't go to a toddler party expecting a big bruh-hah-ha or anything.

 

Have a potluck lunch + a couple hours of family time + cupcakes from the neighborhood grocery, take a picture and done. At 2 you don't even need any presents really because the Guest of Honor is two and probably doesn't know to expect a gift anyway. If I knew that you expected to be laid up or something after birth, then sure I'd try and accommodate the schedule and go to an early party. (Though it would seem more logical to just skip a party all together) But I wouldn't go to a super early toddler party--not unless there was a really good reason for celebrating the event months before it happening. Seems pretty strange to me.

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I wouldn't bother to move it by more than, say, a week, if that.

 

But, our birthday parties consist of cake and presents and our immediate family.  FWIW, when my fifth child was born, I came home from the hospital two days later, on the day of my fourth child's 3rd birthday.  We had a party right then.  I might have even made the cake after walking in the door to a fine mess.

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I'd personally plan on having it a little late.  Like late October.  I often have my kid parties late.  Or I'd just skip it this year for a 2 year old.  Birthdays at this age really are mostly for the parents.  If it's tradition to host something with family and you aren't up for guests at home, schedule to meet up at a pizza place in late October with the newbie sometime.  I would just keep it extremely simple. 

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I understand your concerns about hosting a party with a newborn right at the start of flu season. You also need time to recover from birth and snuggle your new baby. If you are like my friends that throw elaborate parties with every detail taken care of, I think moving it before the birth is a good idea. However, if you usually do low-key parties, or are willing to this year, then don't. I wouldn't worry about what others think. Besides, summer parties are more fun than fall ones! It would give your fall baby a chance to have a pool party.

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My middle was born two weeks before my oldest turned 2.  We had a party for her when DS was only two weeks old and it was a lot of fun.  DH did most of the work and it was good for DD to get some attention for herself after the baby was born.  It was the only year we got a bakery cake for a birthday party because I wasn't up to making one.

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We did this as there are 23 months between Sister and Bug.

 

What I did was plan for a low "mom" intensive celebration. (Which turned out to be a good thing because medical issues kept us home bound until days before Sister's birthday.)

 

I ordered a cake from a local bakery. I put the invitations together, (ready to mail closer to the party) the week before I delivered. I wrapped Sister's gifts and purchased all the paper goods. We had a bubble blowing machine (one of the battery ones they sell for $10) and a sprinkler set up for the kids to play in plus sidewalk chalk.

 

Go low maintanance.

 

Don't over think it.

 

Either way you go will be fine,

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My baby was just born on the 4th and my middle son turns 6 tomorrow. My parents are coming over, he requested spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and a death star cake (he is helping decorate this so that it's not a huge disappointment). Plus there will be gifts from various family members and balloons. That's about all I'm up for. If baby had come late, we may have done a cupcake and a song on his actual birthday and postponed the family party a week or two.

 

I don't know if we'd be doing more than a family party if I didn't have a newborn, but all of my kids have enjoyed this type of "party" just fine...I find they really just like feeling special even if it seems to be a minimal effort on my part.

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I'd celebrate the birthday on the day of the birthday, but I wouldn't have a party. A cake with the immediate family and a gift is all you need, IMO.  I don't think there's any need to have a party at that age. I think the first party we had for my son was when he was four. Before that it was just immediate family. 

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I think it sounds like a great idea.  It's much easier to predict how you'll feel when you are very pregnant than it is to predict how things will go with a brand new baby.  The newborn could be one of those awesome babies that lets you get plenty of rest, OR you could be in survival mode and kicking yourself for having to clean when you can't even manage a shower.  If newborn is born on or near your older child's birthday, this may be the last time you feel like throwing a party JUST for the oldest.  This could be the last hurrah for your little family of three.

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I'd rather go a week or so later in October than a couple months early.

 

But we don't do big birthdays, esp at 2yo. I would just be simple with the "party"--I don't have family in the area, either.

 

It would matter to me, too, how early in Sept the baby is born, and how late in Oct the birthday is--I don't see that in your post.

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I would plan something small for around the actual birthday, and cancel if you aren't up to it.

 

I'm not big on birthday parties.  I don't think anyone will care or even notice if you skip it all together (other than a quick photo opp at home so you can show you remembered).

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We did my son's 2nd bday two months early for same reason. I know our family completely understood. It would have been way too much to host a big crowd soon after what we knew would be repeat c-sec.

This is my situation exactly. If all goes well the second cesarean should be less difficult because it will actually be planned, but the first one left me anemic and exhausted for a long time.

 

Last year we did small and family only, and I was hoping to invite friends this year, but honestly more as a social event for me.

 

Maybe this year will still be small and family only, in which case they are not allowed to complain when we do it early!

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