Why would a parent shame their child and put this parenting technique on social media?

[Lisa R.]

I'm reading articles every month or so where a parent punishes a child for some misdeed and doles out the consequences in the most public way possible. For instance, the parent makes a poster of child's offense and consequence. Then they post this on social media and encourage others to repost. 

 

Seriously. Some of these kids are going to be scarred of life and the parent gets the smug satisfaction that they "dealt with it." 

 

I often see these types of parental reactions with regard to bullying. I see the parent in a bullying position when the child is publicly shamed like this. 

 

The whole idea of this type of parenting haunts me. I would even go as far as to say it shouldn't be legal. This child's name can be pulled up years from now. This childhood offense never goes away since it's been advertised *by the parent* on social media. 

 

http://cyberbullying.us/cyberbullying-your-own-kids-to-punish-them/

 

 

[.Michelle.]

Sad.  There are much, much better ways.

[Scrub Jay]

No idea.  Some parents are jerks. :(

[Hikin' Mama]

Don't like this either. I also don't like when someone posts, "Please pray for my teen (only they post the child's name). He/she is having a sin issue (and they name the issue). I'm a Christian and I pray for my kids, but eeek! How many of us as adults want our specific sin issues on FB? Not me!

 

BTW, the couple people who have done this are not close friends and I'm actually thinking of just unfriending. We don't really have much of a relationship anyway.

[Ethel Mertz]

Just read the article and it made me sick to my stomach. Horrible, horrible tactic.

[PineFarmMom]

Don't like this either. I also don't like when someone posts, "Please pray for my teen (only they post the child's name). He/she is having a sin issue (and they name the issue). I'm a Christian and I pray for my kids, but eeek! How many of us as adults want our specific sin issues on FB? Not me!

 

BTW, the couple people who have done this are not close friends and I'm actually thinking of just unfriending. We don't really have much of a relationship anyway.

Yuck!! I don't know anyone who does that. I'd have to unfriend as well!! And I never understood the punishment shaming thing. Twisted!! I am uber careful about anything I say/show of my kids on FB. I have had one child ask me to put an embarrassing/funny pic of their sibling on there. I refuse to do anything that might possibly embarrass them. The teen years are hard enough without all of that.

[Laurie4b]

People post it because they're proud of it. I think people who shame their kids may do so from a variety of reasons: some were shamed (whether because they belong to a shaming culture or just had parents who did that ) and think that's the best way to handle things; some are sadistic, controlling bullies; some are at the end of their ropes. And shaming often works. In societies in which there is a lot of community shaming, community standards of behavior are kept quite broadly.  (None of this is said in support of shaming, just answering the "why" question of the OP)

 

I would not be surprised to find that some of these parents get a visit from CPS. Public shaming could easily be categorized as emotional abuse.

 

 

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Maybe people get desperate.  I really don't know. 

 

I do think possibly their background might explain it.  I often hear parents screaming at toddlers that they will beat their ass if they don't do XYZ.  They are very harsh and punitive and they seem to think that's what is supposed to happen.  I remember one of my kids horrified over such an incident and told the parent she should not beat a baby.  The woman just responded something like, "Well if he doesn't listen he should be beat."  She didn't bat a lash when asked about it.

 

 

[Barb_]

Longtime poster MFS used to call it "parenting as a competitive sport." It isn't about the child at all.

[poppy]

Don't like this either. I also don't like when someone posts, "Please pray for my teen (only they post the child's name). He/she is having a sin issue (and they name the issue). I'm a Christian and I pray for my kids, but eeek! How many of us as adults want our specific sin issues on FB? Not me!

 

BTW, the couple people who have done this are not close friends and I'm actually thinking of just unfriending. We don't really have much of a relationship anyway.

 

Holy Moley I've never seen that, that's horrible.

[HRAAB]

Not only do I dislike putting a child's misdeeds on social media, this was also the reason that I detested that Nanny show that used to be on.  Why is it appropriate to show your child at his/her worst on television?  I can't imagine televising my children's worst moments.  I respect them too much for that.

[pehp]

Parental narcissism is my first thought.