GinaPagnato Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 My 15 year-old does not enjoy reading, despite the fact that he has no reading difficulties. We have modeled reading as a pastime forever, I read regularly, my other kids read, even DH has become a reader over the last several years. Ds says he can't find anything he's interested in. I've tried fiction, non-fiction, biographies, fantasies, easier reading, more on-the-level reading, all by HIS request, and all to no avail. He almost never finishes a book unless it's for school and a teacher has required it. When he requests a book it's because I've nagged him to read something...anything! He'll relent and say, "Fine! But I don't like the book you got me. I don't know what I like. Nothing holds my interest." So, I'll try another book, then another, then another, then I'll just give up and let him go for weeks without reading anything. This Ds is a very good student and he does all the required reading for his classes, as I mentioned, with no difficulty in terms of processing information and comprehension. But how can it be that despite my best efforts and what he sees modeled by other family members, he doesn't enjoy reading? I don't tell him he should have his head in a book all the time, but just that at night before bed he should spend 20-30 minutes reading. Why would this be so unpleasant for him (he honestly can't tell me), and what should I do? Should I just let it go since it's obviously not affecting him academically? The one drawback I see is that his vocabulary isn't as developed as I think it should be. My younger dc, who read all the time, have more sophisticated vocabulary. So, we compensate with vocabulary workbooks and SAT flash cards, blah, blah, blah. I know if he read for fun he would grow in that area, as well as in others. But he won't. So what do I do and why could this be? TIA! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 My 17 year old who loved reading up until about age 13 just isn't interested anymore. The screen has replaced his love of reading. We continue to model reading in our family and I just hope he rediscovers the joy of reading. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Some people aren't readers the way others aren't musical or don't enjoy working with their hands. How about audiobooks? My husband the non-reader still loves to listen to audiobooks. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 My children aren't recreational readers. Older dd was always hanging out with friends. She never had time to read. Ds just has no interest in reading anything besides going online. He can't give a good reason. Youngest dd said she reads so much for school that she has no interest in reading for pleasure. Both dd's listen to music before bed. Ds is on his computer until he gets into bed to fall asleep. Honestly, I stopped pushing. Not everyone is a reader. I figure they'll read when they want to. DH and I are huge readers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 My 17 year old who loved reading up until about age 13 just isn't interested anymore. The screen has replaced his love of reading. We continue to model reading in our family and I just hope he rediscovers the joy of reading. It's a true, screens are easier on the brain than reading is. I even find myself defaulting to them more than I used to. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted March 21, 2015 Author Share Posted March 21, 2015 Yes!!! All of your answers are exactly what I've suspected was going on. I'm sad that he's not enjoying something that *I* think is so enjoyable. But I, too, have found it easier to going to a screen to read snippets of information. Maybe I've just internalized reading before bed so much that it's still an ingrained habit. I'm bummed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplejackmama Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I have no idea, but your posts are making me feel better. For YEARS I have beat myself up as the only homeschooling mom who has managed to raise 3 non-readers. Oh the shame!! In our case my kids love the outdoors. Hiking, camping, kayaking, fishing, etc. oh and sports. They love competitive sports so reading is not even on the back burner, it's even further back. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 It isn't social. I know this is the issue for a couple of my kids. When they were small, I could get them to read by buddy reading. It made it a cuddly, social event. But, to sit with a book as a companion just is not a thing they want to do. It isn't active. Some people just simply cannot sit and be inactive for very long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I hated rreadin until I was a freshman in college. It was because I was more interested in doing/making things and socializing with others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I have adult friends who have never understood why people voluntarily choose to read, especially fiction. You know how they say: some people make things happen, some watch what happens, and others wonder what happened? Some people are so far into the 1st extreme that everything else feels like a waste of time to them. Even the nonfiction books they consider worthwhile are purchased as audiobooks to be listened to while driving between work sites. :p If they decide they want to hear a story made up by someone for fun or for inspiration, they will get with a friend and watch a movie. One of my kids isn't fond of books, and I think part of her issue is that she can't remember much of the beginning by the time she gets to the end, unless she has read it all within a couple of days. This is one of her mild learning issues. It helps if she finds a series she really enjoys and has short enough books to finish quickly. She does thoroughly enjoy listening to read-alouds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3 ladybugs Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I don't read that much even now. For me I grew up in a house without even a book shelf. My parents both like to read too... very odd. I also had a HORRIBLE teacher in 1st grade. We moved in my 1st grade year and before the move I was in an accelerated program. The new school didn't have that and they put me in the REMEDIAL reading program. That act alone made me not want to try and I honestly blame much of my lack of love of reading on that decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 If it's just that he's very active (likes to play sports or be busy doing things) I wouldn't worry about it. I bet he picks up reading later in life (I know plenty of people for whom this has been true). If it's that he's spending more than just a little bit of time in front of the screens, then I would take action now. Too much screen time makes the brain, and the person, intellectually lazy. They want things in snippets, rather than in full. They want things to go fast, rather than taking the time to allow them to develop. This is very bad for the person's habits and brain. I wouldn't worry about trying to make him read more, but I would get him away from those screens and make him learn to work harder with his brain (which could be anything that isn't passive, as screens are). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 For someone taught with a mix of sight words and phonics, the reason can be that reading is not automatic enough to be enjoyable. My page "Why Johnny Doesn't Like to Read" explains why. My how to tutor page has resources to fix the problem if that is the problem. http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/aliterate.html http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/howtotutor.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I don't think it 's anything to worry about, and if you keep pushing him to read it will probably backfire on you. He probably feels like he has better things to do right now than read a book, but I'll bet that will change as he gets older or develops a strong interest in a particular topic and starts reading to learn more about it. I'll bet if you asked the avid readers you know if they always loved reading, many of them will tell you they never read a book for pleasure until they were adults. Also, you said your dh has become a reader -- but what was he like when he was 15? Maybe your ds is a lot like his dad. So don't worry -- he's fine! :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 It seems that for some reason, the ideal of enjoying reading has reached such a point that if a person lacks that particular desire, everyone assumes there must be an underlying reason other than the obvious - that people are individuals, with their own tastes and personalities, and some simply do not enjoy reading for pleasure. Honestly, if it's obvious he has no learning disability (you said he reads for academic reasons, and does well with his school work), then he may just not enjoy it. That's okay. Some people don't. For most people who do not enjoy reading much for pleasure, it doesn't hinder them in any way. I can't remember the last time my husband picked up a book for pleasure - and he's considered "well read", is college educated, ridiculously intelligent, and it hasn't hindered him at all. My oldest doesn't enjoy reading much. She will occasionally pick up a book to read, but the reality is simply that her personality is the type needing more visual stimulation than a book can provide for her - and she doesn't enjoy sitting still long enough to read. Books just do not "draw her in" at the level she needs. She IS dyslexic, but this goes beyond that to her personality. It took me a while to come to terms with it, since I *love* reading, but it is what is. I'm not going to make her feel like she is somehow lacking because her personality differs from sort of ideal. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane Elliot Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 Some people would rather experience life than read about it. We have three people who don't read for pleasure in our home. One is a doctor, one is in nursing school, and the other is in dental school. Maybe your son is destined for a career in healthcare. :-) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 My ds doesn't like to read, except for manga. He enjoys being read to and until this year we did read alouds for school. He loves to watch documentaries, but is not a huge fan of movies either. I think part of it is that he prefers to do something that is quantifiably productive. He does computer programming and see progess, he's just not that interested in other people's lives through literature. He's waiting not so patiently for a shipment of Japanese manga from Japan. It's honestly the most excited I've seen him be about books ever. Ironically, he's very particular about condition of his books and loves a good quality book. He takes very good care of the books he does own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 I have one that's not a reader. He was raised exactly like everyone else, but he has never yet just fallen in love with books, or any particular genre. Once in a blue moon, if there's a really trendy series (Ender's Game), he'll read through them in a flash. But otherwise? He'd rather be outside with a ball in his hands or on his screen or when he was little, just playing. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I think that the internet can contribute to making people less able to read. I suspect its a bit like the way it can cause ED in men under certain circumstances. So if that is part of it, I think that controllomg screen time is something to think about. For a 15 year old though that would probably involve including them in a discussion about it. But i do think that some people just aren't readers. I used to have a roommate who never read, though he could for work or school without a problem. What he really liked was doing things with his hands and mechanical work. I don't really think that is a bad thing, any more than it is bad that I am not by nature particularly mechanical. People who can work with their hands are important, and I think it is something our education system largely ignores. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaeFlowers Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Does he see pictures or a movie in his head when he reads? Most people I know do this but my dh does not. He never reads books though he does read the news and such online. If a book was nothing more than words on a page, I probably would not read either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Not everyone likes to do the same things and that is ok. I like to knit, but not everyone does, right? I like to bake and make bread, but not everyone thinks that is a dandy way to spend time. I HATE sports. I cannot imagine anything worse than having to attend a sporting event...except for playing a board game. Oh my lord, I'd rather have a cavity drilled. I live in a family of hardcore game enthusiasts and I cannot escape. I am lucky that at least they don't like sports either, lol. Some people just don't like to read for fun like I don't like sports or board games. They can read just fine, but sitting down with a book isn't their first or even third favorite way to pass the time. It's not that big a deal, really. It doesn't mean that person isn't smart or not intellectual, just someone who has other hobbies. And FYI, my dh is a librarian who isn't really a reader. He reads maybe 3 books a year. But, I am pretty sure that if he hadn't married a reader he would go for years without reading a book. My oldest boy is a reader and my younger one is less so, but reading more all the time. My older boy has really cut down on his reading in his teenage years, but I am lucky that his friends are readers, so he usually has a book going. He is a big Neil Gaiman fan and will read anything he writes, and from that has discovered graphic novels, Sandman etc. Those are huge with his friends and they trade them back and forth, talk about them, give them as gifts. I am not in love with what they read, but I keep my mouth shut because they are reading. My son also likes to draw and so that has also been a big plus with graphic novels. My son will also read the occasional Stephen King novel, but he's pretty picky, he knows that King has his good books and his weaker ones. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Content doesn't interest. Struggle with reading - even if they no longer are, the sentiments from younger can hold over a long time Struggle with being still that long - need to be moving more Struggle to focus amid distractions Limited ability to make inference and deductions, making it difficult to understand what is not specificly written Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I think reading difficulties, and the pull of other things that draw attention away from quiet pursuits such as reading Are screens. My kids don't have reading difficulties, and when I remove the screen time they default to reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 I am fairly well read, although many of the books I have read were for classes in college, and not because I love reading so much that I pull those books off the shelf on my own (being completely honest here.) I am an extrovert and given the choice of reading a book or talking to a friend (via phone or in person), I will choose the friend every single time, hands down. It doesn't matter how good the book is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 My easily distractible child finds reading difficult. Not like dyslexia, and no reading problems, but following a line of text is work, and so I think it's not necessarily enjoyable. (I understand this. I have the same issue.). This child also told me that she wanted to know what would happen, so she'd skip to the end, and then she'd have no interest in the middle. Getting e-books on a Kindle has helped a lot with both issues; she can adjust the font size for fewer words on a page, and it's harder to skip. Reading is less work and more enjoyable now. She does tend to like nonfiction more than fiction, though, but DH is the same way. Both DH and DD love audio books a lot too, so I think it's also that they are very auditory learners. Perhaps your son is the same way? Also, DD is my highly creative child; she had a ton in her head and is always creating something, whether it's a play scenario, story, song, art, whatever. She's been like that since she was teeny tiny, just loads of imagination spilling out everywhere. She's very much a doer, always moving and doing and producing. She reads when it suits her purpose, like when she wants to know more about a subject. But reading as a source of entertainment in and of itself? Not really her thing. I'm content to know that she knows how to teach herself stuff by reading, and I require some lit reading for school, but I don't push her much otherwise because it's counterproductive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 If you haven't yet, read The Shallows. A ton of screen time can rewire the brain until reading a regular book is downright unpleasant. Also, are you allowing twaddle? I've seen quite a few instances where a parent can't understand why his or her kid doesn't want to read, but then if you ask a few questions, you find that they're only allowing their kid to read classics... really, really old classics... the dryer, the better. ;) I wouldn't want to read much either if it all had to be at least a hundred years old. Allow twaddle. Modern, twaddley twaddle. And some people just don't like to read. There was a study that showed avid readers experience the events in a book as if they were there, with the body responding with adrenaline, hormones, increased heart rate and all that fun stuff. People who don't enjoy reading, however, don't have that reaction, so it's not nearly as engaging of an experience for them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 My 17 year old who loved reading up until about age 13 just isn't interested anymore. The screen has replaced his love of reading. We continue to model reading in our family and I just hope he rediscovers the joy of reading. This was ds, also 17 now. He continued to read until around 14-15 and just doesn't anymore. He does occasionally mention a book he wants to read, but just doesn't take the time. I'm hoping it's a phase and that even with all the screen devices today he'll eventually want to read again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 Does he see pictures or a movie in his head when he reads? Most people I know do this but my dh does not. He never reads books though he does read the news and such online. If a book was nothing more than words on a page, I probably would not read either. I'm one who does not see pictures or a movie when I read. That said, I'm a voracious reader and will sometimes read a book or more a day. My husband and daughter are in the see a movie camp when they read. My daughter is also a voracious reader. My husband likes to read when time permits. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Vision therapy helped get us past one hump. GOOD sci-fi helped over another. He had NO TIME for worlds that didn't make sense. Asimov worked for him. Actually, so did Bill Bryson and so did Patrick McManus. But those are hardly the classics... Still... And then...nothing helped. I doubt he has read a book voluntarily in 3 years. Alas. But we model it, and he CAN read (which was not nearly as easy for him before the vision therapy--that turned things ON for a long time). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I have one of these (a determined non-reader). It broke my heart. *sniff, sniff* Only partially joking! I finally got over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 My husband and son see movies in their heads when they read. My daughter and i do not. I am quite fascinated by the movie thibg. I had no idea that people had this ability until a few yeara ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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