Elfknitter.# Posted March 22, 2015 Share Posted March 22, 2015 If sensibilities are so fragile that a a bleeped f-bomb distracts you from discussion, then perhaps you are not ready to engage in adult Internet discussions. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 "Dance moms: Help me reconcile <objectionable feature>. I/my child really wants to dance but this <objectionable feature> is now causing me/her/him to dread/have anxiety about going to dance. " "We found <objectionable feature> to be the norm. I/my child danced at X number of studios in multiple states. It seems to just go with the territory. I/my child finally realized I/he/she not getting enough satisfaction/enjoyment/whatever from dance to offset the horrible <objectionable feature> experience, so we walked away. We've never regretted it." _____ <snip> No to mention that at least a couple of people on this thread have been told their hugs are not welcome as a wrong-believer. I would point out that Mother Teresa embraced the lepers, but she really wasn't the "right" kind either. How f-ing sanctimonious. I didn't say anything about refusing hugs or sympathy or empathy from people of other faiths or no faith. I just said that former believers of a faith, who have rejected it, probably aren't going to add value to most discussions about that faith, particularly those who are hostile toward or disdainful of it. I have no idea how this relates to Mother Teresa embracing lepers. I don't equate people who don't share my faith, or people who once shared it but now reject it, as lepers, and I'm not sure how anyone made that leap here. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 If sensibilities are so fragile that a a bleeped f-bomb distracts you from discussion, then perhaps you are not ready to engage in adult Internet discussions. :001_rolleyes: 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Honestly, I think the threads with "x-type-of-person" and "cc" are seen as potentially contentious threads and automatically attract those who can't hold back their nasty, so they go in with their 'nasty spoon' to stir things up. I just don't see this often, or in abundance. Not here. But my definition of "nasty spoon" may differ from others. I get called a m-f ing b**** all day and evening on Saturdays and Sundays. The WTM board is unicorns and rainbows, chocolate and sunshine in comparison. But I still didn't see "things" the way others do before this job. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I kind of wonder if it's these kinds of sentiments (among others) that might make people feel like they would want a "safer space" or even an echo chamber. They need a safe place to insult the faith of others? If so adding that "safe place" probably won't add much to the board. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfknitter.# Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 :001_rolleyes: And this is why these f-ing discussions will never get beyond a square vs a round table kind of disagreements. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 If sensibilities are so fragile that a a bleeped f-bomb distracts you from discussion, then perhaps you are not ready to engage in adult Internet discussions. I would disagree that bleeping out swear words (in order to avoid the filter? or to get around board rules?) is a marker for adult discussions. It seems like kind of the opposite, actually. But that may be sanctimonious of me. ETA: My sensibilities were not offended, however, if there's a contingent of people around here that agree that discussion of theological (or really any differences) means one group is necessarily, um, sanctinmonious for disagreeing with another group, certainly it can seem clear that the other'd group might want to find another space where they aren't openly called out. Just my two cents. It doesn't make me want to go anywhere, but I can see how it might make some people want to leave. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfknitter.# Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 It is part of language. Because some cannot handle it does not lessen the discussion. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
table4five Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 It is part of language. Because some cannot handle it does not lessen the discussion.Actually, it does lessen the disussion and it is a sign of disrespect. That's my opinion of course, it is also what I teach my kids. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 And this is why these f-ing discussions will never get beyond a square vs a round table kind of disagreements. That was all your post deserved. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 You know, curse words in spoken language don't bother me too often. I am aware it bothers people, though, so it's not something I make a habit of doing. I will say I don't get using it on the boards where one must take extra time and thought to type in something other than the actual word. I've seen it used for humor on the boards, but it also seems to be used to offend/upset. It seems like an easy enough thing to avoid here so I don't get it. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfknitter.# Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 As is commonly said here, to each their own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Does this board filter out swear words? Usually it's the board owner's/moderators choice to allow or disallow. If there's a filter, it generally doesn't mean that people are supposed to bleep out the words in order to keep using them. And really, I can't see the examples in this thread as a good way to show how profanity can be used in mature, adult discussions that are not bent on antagonizing or harassing people. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I just don't see this often, or in abundance. Not here. But my definition of "nasty spoon" may differ from others. I get called a m-f ing b**** all day and evening on Saturdays and Sundays. The WTM board is unicorns and rainbows, chocolate and sunshine in comparison. But I still didn't see "things" the way others do before this job. Oh, I didn't mean to imply it is in abundance. It just seems that whenever there is a thread wanting only to hear form certain folks or whatever, that they seem to go south faster than regularly-labeled threads which was why I wondered about the label catching the eye of people who love to debate and/or derail. I do admit to not opening most of them, though, so it could be my observations have been skewed. I admit to cringing a bit when I see such titles, whether I open them, or not, simply because I do have the impression that they can get nasty. In my perfect world all threads asking for advice/opinions would remain civil and be extremely helpful. :hat: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Does this board filter out swear words? Usually it's the board owner's/moderators choice to allow or disallow. If there's a filter, it generally doesn't mean that people are supposed to bleep out the words in order to keep using them. And really, I can't see the examples in this thread as a good way to show how profanity can be used in mature, adult discussions that are not bent on antagonizing or harassing people. No. We do not have filters. The only reasons I have seen cited for abbreviations is that some posters' children may be reading over their shoulder and a bleeped word is less offensive to those who frown on such language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I didn't say anything about refusing hugs or sympathy or empathy from people of other faiths or no faith. I just said that former believers of a faith, who have rejected it, probably aren't going to add value to most discussions about that faith, particularly those who are hostile toward or disdainful of it. I have no idea how this relates to Mother Teresa embracing lepers. I don't equate people who don't share my faith, or people who once shared it but now reject it, as lepers, and I'm not sure how anyone made that leap here. No, you didn't. I was referencing other comments in conjunction with people wading into threads where they were apparently unwanted, even to offer a virtual hug or sympathy for someone going through difficulty, after my example of someone having something of experiential substance to add to such discussions. And maybe you don't, but that has been brought up as being experienced by more than one person. (And not for the first time in this thread) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellalarella Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 To reiterate, using the f bomb as a negative adjective, such as in the previously used phrase, "How f-ing sanctimonious," shows the author's anger and great emotion over the issue, I think. To me, it signals that the author has reached level 10 on the emotion scale and may not be thinking clearly for discussion and understanding purposes. While I do not enjoy reading those words, I am adult enough to do so, to fill in the missing letters, and to ponder the emotional state of a person who would write such a phrase. Indicating that I don't enjoy it and that I wish it were not used on the boards does not mean that I am not adult enough" to participate in an internet forum. If a person expresses that profanity doesn't seem helpful to a discussion it does not mean that the person is therefore too immature to take part in the discussion. I don't feel profanity makes the boards unsafe, (the curse word cannot jump out and pinch me, for pete's sake), it's just not as enjoyable as a discussion, or argument, in which people use civil words to express their ideas. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 To reiterate, using the f bomb as a negative adjective, such as in the previously used phrase, "How f-ing sanctimonious," shows the author's anger and great emotion over the issue, I think. To me, it signals that the author has reached level 10 on the emotion scale and may not be thinking clearly for discussion and understanding purposes. While I do not enjoy reading those words, I am adult enough to do so, to fill in the missing letters, and to ponder the emotional state of a person who would write such a phrase. Indicating that I don't enjoy it and that I wish it were not used on the boards does not mean that I am not adult enough" to participate in an internet forum. If a person expresses that profanity doesn't seem helpful to a discussion it does not mean that the person is therefore too immature to take part in the discussion. I don't feel profanity makes the boards unsafe, (the curse word cannot jump out and pinch me, for pete's sake), it's just not as enjoyable as a discussion, or argument, in which people use civil words to express their ideas. Just to offer the other side, to me the bolded doesn't necessarily apply. I don't apply an emotional level to a poster because they typed or partially typed a certain word. So because we both used "to me" then I think we are welcome to see opposite sides of the same situation. That doesn't mean one of us is right and the other is wrong, they're just two differing opinions. To me, they're just words which can be used for good or bad. I'm a mostly calm person in real life - but I curse, probably a lot to some, very little in comparison to others. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Cursing does not bother me. I used the f word in a conversation with a friend today. But this thread is a whole lot of ugly, and it hurts my heart. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 The problem with that, though, is that posters here can't even agree on what a Christian is. There are more than just one who have quite narrow views of what makes a Christian so you still end up with people hurt or offended. Yes, it took me a couple of days to decide how to answer the YEC poll, because I struggled with the yes/no "Are you a Christian" question. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 No, you didn't. I was referencing other comments in conjunction with people wading into threads where they were apparently unwanted, even to offer a virtual hug or sympathy for someone going through difficulty, after my example of someone having something of experiential substance to add to such discussions. And maybe you don't, but that has been brought up as being experienced by more than one person. (And not for the first time in this thread) OK, still not sure I get the connection but that's OK. But re: the bolded; I'll put my thoughts another way. As I said, I am a former Roman Catholic. I went to Catholic school for a number of years, was baptized and confirmed, and as an adult studied Catholicism as I tried to figure out where I fit in theologically. So I could say I have experience and knowledge to add to discussions on Roman Catholicism. Further, though I landed in a different place, I don't consider Catholic people to be "the wrong kind of Christians" (after all, we recite the same creeds) or have any hard feelings toward my time there, as I know some former Catholics do. But, if there is a discussion on some point of Roman Catholicism, there is no reason for me to chime in, even if I have knowledge in the area. My input is not needed - there are plenty of other Catholic ladies here to engage in discussion, encouragement, clarification, etc. I might read it out of interest, and if someone asked for prayers or hugs or whatever I might offer it, but there's no reason for me to insert myself in a discussion when there are better people to engage. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellalarella Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Well, at least I've learned a few things. Ike if I ever need to express disagreement with Albeto, I need a handful of specific cites. :) No generalizations accepted! And at least everyone here knows that I don't enjoy the profanity. And now I know that they may continue to use profanity in discussions because they desire write out of their own favored word bank. It's not an unprofitable discussion. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfknitter.# Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 To reiterate, using the f bomb as a negative adjective, such as in the previously used phrase, "How f-ing sanctimonious," shows the author's anger and great emotion over the issue, I think. To me, it signals that the author has reached level 10 on the emotion scale and may not be thinking clearly for discussion and understanding purposes. While I do not enjoy reading those words, I am adult enough to do so, to fill in the missing letters, and to ponder the emotional state of a person who would write such a phrase. Indicating that I don't enjoy it and that I wish it were not used on the boards does not mean that I am not adult enough" to participate in an internet forum. If a person expresses that profanity doesn't seem helpful to a discussion it does not mean that the person is therefore too immature to take part in the discussion. I don't feel profanity makes the boards unsafe, (the curse word cannot jump out and pinch me, for pete's sake), it's just not as enjoyable as a discussion, or argument, in which people use civil words to express their ideas. I get what you are saying but it seems a moot point as no one has done this in this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellalarella Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 I get what you are saying but it seems a moot point as no one has done this in this thread. Then this is a good example of how words with strong emotional content can be interpreted in different ways. When LAXmom used the phrase "How f-ing sanctimonious," I interpreted a lot of irritation/disgust in the phrase. Also, I thought what she wrote was hard to understand overall. Another poster actually asked for clarification. Thus, I thought maybe emotion was clouding her reasoning. We just read it/felt it different ways. It might be helpful for posters who desire for their writing to be understood by a wide audience here on the forum, and who feel no personal objections to profanit,y to know that the emotional intent of their words could be misunderstood. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 For what it's worth, I truly hope that there is no mass exodus. (I'm thinking very carefully about how to say this next part and haven't come up with anything better than what I'm about to type. Please, I'm begging, I hope everyone can give me the benefit of the doubt and not take offense.) The reality for me is that, if we all break up into little echo chambers filled with people who agree with us about everything, then I will be sitting here alone. And if all of the people with whom I disagree about the nature of what it means to be a Christian leave, then I'll be bereft, because I often just plain don't enjoy chatting with a lot of the folks who agree with me on some of the big issues. The fact that we have in common some opinions about politics or religion doesn't mean we actually like each other. In fact, I currently have some folks on ignore even though I more or less agree with them just because the confrontational or unpleasant way they communicate grates on my nerves. Some of my favorite posters here over the many years I've been a member have been folks with whom I didn't agree about most or any of the "big issues," but I appreciated the kind and compassionate way they communicated, the patient way they shared opinions, how quick they were to offer support when I needed it . . . Gosh, guys, just . . . Please don't leave! 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellalarella Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 For what it's worth, I truly hope that there is no mass exodus. (I'm thinking very carefully about how to say this next part and haven't come up with anything better than what I'm about to type. Please, I'm begging, I hope everyone can give me the benefit of the doubt and not take offense.) The reality for me is that, if we all break up into little echo chambers filled with people who agree with us about everything, then I will be sitting here alone. And if all of the people with whom I disagree about the nature of what it means to be a Christian leave, then I'll be bereft, because I often just plain don't enjoy chatting with a lot of the folks who agree with me on some of the big issues. The fact that we have in common some opinions about politics or religion doesn't mean we actually like each other. In fact, I currently have some folks on ignore even though I more or less agree with them just because the confrontational or unpleasant way they communicate grates on my nerves. Some of my favorite posters here over the many years I've been a member have been folks with whom I didn't agree about most or any of the "big issues," but I appreciated the kind and compassionate way they communicated, the patient way they shared opinions, how quick they were to offer support when I needed it . . . Gosh, guys, just . . . Please don't leave! I don't think people are leaving. This thread has mainly just turned into a way to express gripes about how we interact on the forum, what makes it great, or how it could be better. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 For what it's worth, I truly hope that there is no mass exodus. (I'm thinking very carefully about how to say this next part and haven't come up with anything better than what I'm about to type. Please, I'm begging, I hope everyone can give me the benefit of the doubt and not take offense.) The reality for me is that, if we all break up into little echo chambers filled with people who agree with us about everything, then I will be sitting here alone. And if all of the people with whom I disagree about the nature of what it means to be a Christian leave, then I'll be bereft, because I often just plain don't enjoy chatting with a lot of the folks who agree with me on some of the big issues. The fact that we have in common some opinions about politics or religion doesn't mean we actually like each other. In fact, I currently have some folks on ignore even though I more or less agree with them just because the confrontational or unpleasant way they communicate grates on my nerves. Some of my favorite posters here over the many years I've been a member have been folks with whom I didn't agree about most or any of the "big issues," but I appreciated the kind and compassionate way they communicated, the patient way they shared opinions, how quick they were to offer support when I needed it . . . Gosh, guys, just . . . Please don't leave! (((hugs))) I don't think there will be a mass exodus, Jenny. In spite of some bumps, this is a cool place. I don't like echo chambers, either. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Yeah, I really think "mass exodus" is unlikely. Also, I really don't see a pervasive trend of nastiness, disrespect, non-Christians crapping in Christian content threads (or vice versa), or anything like that. That's not said to minimize the feelings of any board member over any specific event, but, simply put, that I really get no such overall vibe. I frequent/have frequented places where one truly needs a tough skin to wade into discussions; this place ain't one of 'em. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Then this is a good example of how words with strong emotional content can be interpreted in different ways. When LAXmom used the phrase "How f-ing sanctimonious," I interpreted a lot of irritation/disgust in the phrase. Also, I thought what she wrote was hard to understand overall. Another poster actually asked for clarification. Thus, I thought maybe emotion was clouding her reasoning. We just read it/felt it different ways. It might be helpful for posters who desire for their writing to be understood by a wide audience here on the forum, and who feel no personal objections to profanit,y to know that the emotional intent of their words could be misunderstood. I am not at an emotional 10 or any measurable level. I have no dearth of modifiers. I simply chose the one that best reflected the disgust you so aptly identified. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmseB Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Yeah, I really think "mass exodus" is unlikely. Also, I really don't see a pervasive trend of nastiness, disrespect, non-Christians crapping in Christian content threads (or vice versa), or anything like that. That's not said to minimize the feelings of any board member over any specific event, but, simply put, that I really get no such overall vibe. I frequent/have frequented places where one truly needs a tough skin to wade into discussions; this place ain't one of 'em. It's really not bad compared to a lot of places on the net, but I have to say that I was taken aback by the chat forum after spending a lot of time reading the k-8 and gen ed boards. I can't find the right adjective to describe it, but I'll just say that I find many, many posters really let loose in chat compared to other places on twm forums. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfknitter.# Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 (edited) Then this is a good example of how words with strong emotional content can be interpreted in different ways. When LAXmom used the phrase "How f-ing sanctimonious," I interpreted a lot of irritation/disgust in the phrase. Also, I thought what she wrote was hard to understand overall. Another poster actually asked for clarification. Thus, I thought maybe emotion was clouding her reasoning. We just read it/felt it different ways. It might be helpful for posters who desire for their writing to be understood by a wide audience here on the forum, and who feel no personal objections to profanit,y to know that the emotional intent of their words could be misunderstood. I can't help you interpret others words. As to how one interprets the word f---, well I that's subjective. Edited March 23, 2015 by Susan Wise Bauer These boards have a wide readership and I'd prefer that posters avoid profanity. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 (edited) I can't help you interpret others words. As to how one interprets the word f---, well I that's subjective. Exactly how do you mean it to be interpreted in response to someone who has said they don't like it? To me, it seems you want to offend and/or start issues where they don't have to be. There was zero reason, IMO, for your use of the word here unless you meant to upset/shock/offend someone. I feel it's rather childish on your end. Edited March 23, 2015 by Susan Wise Bauer Profanity edited. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 (edited) nm Edited March 23, 2015 by Susan Wise Bauer This is very much against board rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfknitter.# Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Exactly how do you mean it to be interpreted in response to someone who has said they don't like it? To me, it seems you want to offend and/or start issues where they don't have to be. There was zero reason, IMO, for your use of the word here unless you meant to upset/shock/offend someone. I feel it's rather childish on your end. And I feel your response demonstrates a sensitive sensibility toward the word. Which hardens back to my original post (#280. Sorry, having issues linking on the iPad. However, there I said: "If sensibilities are so fragile that a a bleeped f-bomb distracts you from discussion, then perhaps you are not ready to engage in adult Internet discussions." A different pov, as has been demonstrated consistently in this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Wise Bauer Posted March 23, 2015 Share Posted March 23, 2015 Is it the full moon already? SWB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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