S/o mass exodus

[LibraryLover]

I have an embarrassing # of posts.  I hate it. lol  But I love to chat with all sort of folk!  In a future life (I wish!) , I think I might be a writer. I also read incredibly fast, so it's not the time-consuming task it might first appear.  Before the internet, I would read multiple newspapers daily. When I became a SAHM for 18 mos with my first, I got several newspapers. I nursed and read the day away.  It was wonderful. The internet, and it's boards, is simply an endless library.  And college discussion group.  :)

[OnTheBrink]

Well, for what it's worth (which probably isn't much) I'm not exiting. I'm not here a lot due to work and other stuff, but I enjoy reading and posting when I do make it over. 

 

And, again, fwiw, I really dislike Christian message boards. Because everyone has a different idea of what Christianity is supposed to look like, it's almost more stressful to be in a room of people who you're worried will judge you as opposed to being in a non-religious forum and have the freedom to just be yourself. I think that's rather telling. Frankly, I prefer to be on a forum of all kinds of people--even those whose lifestyles/values/beliefs are different. At least I know what I'm dealing with! And, I can choose to either ignore or not get involved in threads that offend me or that I disagree with. I don't have to worry that I'm not "Christian enough" here. If someone professes Christ as their savior, that's as deep as I'm going with it on a message board. I have neither the time nor energy to worry about someone else's Christian life. It's between them and God. I'm too old and too tired to be bogged down with that sort of thing. 

 

 

[Slache]

Yeah, maybe. But she is giving the impression that there are times she doesn't want even a huggy smilie from the likes of us. "I don't mind if you care about me, but I don't want to hear about it." This is her prerogative and eventually we'll catch on and remember not to. Or we won't because there are thousands of people here and our memories aren't *that* great.

 

I trust that people can ignore me when they want to, :) but sometimes I write a kick arse post and it helps.

That's not what I meant. I didn't want to derail a thread with an example, but here are some I've wanted to start, but won't.

 

1. Homosexuality is a sin according to the Bible. Many Christians I know believe that it's the worst sin and that homosexuals are the vilest people. I disagree with that. I would like to discuss both points of view.

 

2. Is the Earth/Universe young or old (from a creationists standpoint, not necessarily Biblical Christianity).

 

3. Alcohol, what place does it have in a Christian home and how often do you drink?

 

Any topics along those lines would be jumped on by those with opposing views. Perhaps my reasons for this are unclear, but I don't care to discuss it publicly any further. Anyone please feel free to PM me about this.

 

 

Oh I hope there isn't an exodus! I like so many of you. I come here because this is one of the best places to sound things out with smart, caring people. It's large enough that it seems no matter how obscure your question or situation, someone has btdt or has a cousin who did and can chime in with some useful tips or advice. And I find it a very caring, supportive place.

 

I don't think I would be half the homeschooling mama without these boards. I think when we focus in the somewhat negative aspects of the board, we're usually talking about the chat section... But this board is so much more! I've read so much good advice on how to teach,curriculum, scheduling etc - it's an amazing resource.

 

I like the debates. :) I think some topics are impossible to discuss without a thick skin. I think more people should use the ignore feature more liberally. I think sometimes when we're stressed we just want to kvetch and sometimes our online buddies get the brunt of our crankiness with the world...

 

I find the prayer request threads tear jerkingly poignant - which I guess is odd as an atheist but I just think it exemplifies so much of what's good about people, and how much magic there is in people caring for each other.

 

I don't think I'd presume to comment on a CC thread but I do read them sometimes because I'm hopelessly curious...

I don't foresee an Exodus. Like I said to Quill, there are a lot of conversations going on behind the scenes. There actually have been for a while now. We want a place to discuss our religion/worldview/secret Christian recipes without being jumped on. We love the Hive. It's a special place.

 

Slache can start all the Christians Only threads she wants as can anyone else. No one has said she couldn't. I certainly didn't even imply she couldn't. I'm very interested in how a soliciting opinions from only Christians on a given topic works given the liturgical and theological differences even between Protestant denominations, let alone various Protestants and RC & EO.

 

I'm certainly not upset and I wouldn't be upset if she didn't want my opinion as a not-her-flavor-of-Christian Christian. Color me curious, that's all.

See my answer to Rosie, and she was not implying that *you* implied anything.

 

Being challenged or being corrected is not being insulted. It should come as no surprise to find YEC being exposed as failing to hold up to general scientific scrutiny in an educational board. It should come as no surprise to find that scientific claims require evidence, but regardless of how genuinely or sincerely it is believed, personal testimony does not count as evidence in a scientific discourse. It is not an insult to point this out. 

 

People have different expectations with regard to what is appropriate on discussion forums. I respect the fact that you choose not to participate in discussions where your sensitivity could potentially cause a problem for you. I think recognizing that people may or may not be able to match your own social/emotional expectations is commendable and I hope more people adopt this practice.

 

However.... if you have an actual example of someone actually insulting you then please, by all means link it. If you prefer to keep the poster private, then please PM me. Otherwise, these vague, evasive accusations continue to defame the character of this elusive "someone" who apparently is stalking these forums harassing Christians. That's quite an accusation to make, and while I'm grateful to hear the kind words said about me upthread*, I think it's problematic for anyone to be targeted like this. I'm no more tolerant of this continued accusation just because I now have reason to believe it's not me. If your intention is to not be nasty as you implied upthread, or if you desire to avoid the appearance of nastiness, continued [false, certainly unverified] accusations of someone verbally attacking others does not lend to obtaining that goal. I ask you in kindness, and please don't take my directness as indicative of anger or anything like that, I simply want to be frank so as to avoid confusion: Please stop making these accusations unless you are willing to provide some evidence for them. In any other circumstance, this might be construed as harassment, and I think an argument can be made for that here.

 

 

 

*Really guys, thank you. That means a lot to me. 

I'll PM you. :)

 

But even Baptists are not a monolithic bunch. Baptists run the theological and social spectrums from conservative to liberal.

Yes, but it certainly narrows things a bit.

 

Well, for what it's worth (which probably isn't much) I'm not exiting. I'm not here a lot due to work and other stuff, but I enjoy reading and posting when I do make it over. 

 

And, again, fwiw, I really dislike Christian message boards. Because everyone has a different idea of what Christianity is supposed to look like, it's almost more stressful to be in a room of people who you're worried will judge you as opposed to being in a non-religious forum and have the freedom to just be yourself. I think that's rather telling. Frankly, I prefer to be on a forum of all kinds of people--even those whose lifestyles/values/beliefs are different. At least I know what I'm dealing with! And, I can choose to either ignore or not get involved in threads that offend me or that I disagree with. I don't have to worry that I'm not "Christian enough" here. If someone professes Christ as their savior, that's as deep as I'm going with it on a message board. I have neither the time nor energy to worry about someone else's Christian life. It's between them and God. I'm too old and too tired to be bogged down with that sort of thing. 

I was unaware of this and appreciate you sharing it.

[brehon]

Yes, Slache, I know. I quoted someone else, not Rosie. :)

[Ausmumof3]

Okay. But you do understand that "CC" was not originated to exclude non-Christian posters, right? It was intended to note posts that had Christian content in them (like prayer requests or praise reports) so that any posters -- Christian or not -- who didn't want to participate wouldn't spend precious load time opening those threads, then having to close them again or scroll way, way down to the next threads. It started on the old, old forums where the format was much slower and much less friendly to those on dial-up connections.

I wasn't aware of this. Maybe there needs to be another distinction like Christians only or something.

[VaKim]

This may have already been mentioned, but my question is why, if you are not a Christian, atheist, whatever, would you even want to respond in a thread that requests those people only? I compare it to threads like "dance moms," those who have a child in public school," "chicken people," and on and on. They are requesting a very specific group to reply and since I don't have a child in dance or public school, nor do I have chickens, I can't imagine going in there and replying. 

 

There is a reason that, for a long time, people did not discuss politics or religion in "polite company." And yep, I am old fashioned and one of those people who think the old days were much better. Well, at least certain periods of them anyway.

 

 

 

 

[PrincessMommy]

Awww, maaaan! I ran out of likes.

 

And, am fascinated with the direction in which conversations steer. It has always fascinated me. I was that kid sitting at the adult table just listening and trying to follow the trails.

 

In my mind when I was exploring the safe place thoughts, I was thinking about my mom and grandmas. About who they may have approached with problems and concerns and thinking it probably wasn't in town hall meetings. I was exploring expectations and how they shape our perceptions and realities.

 

The subsequent conversation is giving me some insight, but in an unexpected manner. It is, nonetheless, fascinating.

 

On a side note, I thought social groups were for the "my people" threads where like-mindedness is an asset or wanted. But, I guess that's based on MY expectations and perceptions. Obviously, it's not universal. Interesting stuff.

 

Also, can I get a cookie? I think this is the longest thread I've ever started - by a very large margin! ;)

 

This is what I thought too... I'm relatively new here compared to many people and I always understood that CC mean Christian Content...not Christian only.    I haven't paid close enough attention to notice whether people have confused the meaning.

 

[Firefly]

The role of this board has changed for me over the years.  I’ve been visiting since the old board but alas, have never had the time to be a frequent poster.  I’m in an out usually.  When I’m out and don’t have the time at all, I won’t visit for months; when I’m in and have more time, I’ll check in almost daily to see what’s going on and follow interesting threads. Initially I came to read/ask about curricula and homeschooling methods, but as the years went on and I found my groove I found I needed that less and less so I started gravitating toward the chat board.  I enjoy the various discussions and sometimes jump in.  I feel like I’ve come to “know†many of the frequent posters and enjoy the conversations. 

 

This is one of the most heavily modded boards I’ve ever been a regular visitor to.  So, to me, it’s a fairly “safe†place though I don’t have that expectation when I post online, anywhere, ever.  That said, the amount of overtly offensive posts I see here is quite low IMO.  I like it here.  I will probably continue to visit even after I'm done homeschooling... which, incredibly, is very soon.   :eek:

[LaxMom]

This may have already been mentioned, but my question is why, if you are not a Christian, atheist, whatever, would you even want to respond in a thread that requests those people only? I compare it to threads like "dance moms," those who have a child in public school," "chicken people," and on and on. They are requesting a very specific group to reply and since I don't have a child in dance or public school, nor do I have chickens, I can't imagine going in there and replying.

 

There is a reason that, for a long time, people did not discuss politics or religion in "polite company." And yep, I am old fashioned and one of those people who think the old days were much better. Well, at least certain periods of them anyway.

Well...

Because maybe they have a son in dance (but the poster really meant "dance moms of daughters") or

Because they do not have children in dance but were dancers themselves for 20+ years or

Because they grew up on a commercial chicken farm (and didn't realize their knowledge of chickens was considered unworthy because they don't currently keep exotic backyard breeds) or

Because they have a child in public school (and are unaware that their experience with the pedestrian neighborhood school is *obviously* not in the same league with the OP's super special magnet school)...

 

My point is that most of us live in a Christian-dominated society. Many who have converted to other faiths or have abandoned religion altogether have extensive background knowledge of the specific topic posed. Those who identify as Christian often do not agree on the details, so it's not unreasonable that former believers of a similar bent might have insight.

 

*I am none of these things, just offering the pov that things are not always as clear-cut as one might think.

[LaxMom]

Oops. Double post.

[LaxMom]

Three. 

 

[LaxMom]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand four.

 

stupid phone app. 

 

[GailV]

 

I stay away from the threads that seem to end up in huge debate. Not my cuppa. (learned that here too! ;) )  And as for the Christian forum, I may pop over there. (I seem to remember a denim jumper board starting up for those that wanted a place that was more like-minded.) But this board is my go-to. 

 

 

 

 

Aha, this thread reminded me of The Denim Jumper days, also!  I figured most people had forgotten about it!  For the record, it was a spin off that was secular -- this board was heavily Christian at the time.  Poppins (who started The Denim Jumper) was making a joke about the (old) perception of homeschool moms as wearers of denim jumpers.

 

And, yes, I've been around this board lots of years.  Huge swathes of that time have been spent exclusively on things like the high school board because I value all the voices and opinions about various curriculum, and honestly didn't feel a need to socialize otherwise.  I guess that means the board fills specific holes in my socialization needs insofar as most of my IRL friends have no viable suggestions for what we should use for high school physics.

 

I have many subjects I don't discuss with IRL friends.  I prefer to keep my opinions to my self on a wide variety of topics.  I do that here, too.

 

But I like to read about others' opinions.  I like reading on some topics rather than participating in IRL discussions since it gives me opportunity to open another browser window and research something or other ... or maybe a chance to walk away, think about it a while, and come back.  

 

I've thought about putting people on "ignore".  But most of time those same people have fascinating things to say on other topics.  I'm so glad I haven't ignored them, because then I discover they have lots of interesting things to say about something else.  

 

And, yes, we've had the discussion about how the board has changed so much multiple times through the years, complete with many people implying or explicitly saying they're going to leave.  Eh, whatever.  Perhaps it seems a grimmer place now due to the lack of kilt pictures.  

 

One of the things I like most about this forum is the level of correct spelling and coherent sentences.  I will probably always participate here for that alone.  My other current online hangout is a snark board that makes this one look like a very polite tea party.  It's actually a fairly bland place compared to some others in the wilds of the internet.  All of which makes me consider NO WHERE on the internet a very safe place.

[Wildcat]

Well...

Because maybe they have a son in dance (but the poster really meant "dance moms of daughters") or

Because they do not have children in dance but were dancers themselves for 20+ years or

Because they grew up on a commercial chicken farm (and didn't realize their knowledge of chickens was considered unworthy because they don't currently keep exotic backyard breeds) or

Because they have a child in public school (and are unaware that their experience with the pedestrian neighborhood school is *obviously* not in the same league with the OP's super special magnet school)...

 

My point is that most of us live in a Christian-dominated society. Many who have converted to other faiths or have abandoned religion altogether have extensive background knowledge of the specific topic posed. Those who identify as Christian often do not agree on the details, so it's not unreasonable that former believers of a similar bent might have insight.

 

*I am none of these things, just offering the pov that things are not always as clear-cut as one might think.

 

I was just coming to say this. Also, some Christian-only threads can be answered by a non-Christian person, as the need for Christian-only answers isn't obvious.

 

Usually, though, I stay out of the 'religious type only' threads because even if the person needs hugs, I am hesitant to give them. I was told once, in not so literal terms, that 'my kind' of hugs weren't welcome. I find that sad, because if someone posts "CC I need hugs" and it's because they are hurting over something that happened in their church, why can I not give hugs? While I may not understand the angst over leaving a church, I am human and I understand the angst of leaving a familiar setting where there are people you care about. That sort of thing tells me a lot about the person, though, if they don't want hugs from a non-believer ~ and virtual hugs at that! 

 

[VaKim]

My point was, if a thread says "chicken people," and I know absolutely nothing about chickens, never did know anything about them, or think chickens are gross and should be outlawed, or that turkeys are much better than chickens, I have no need nor desire to go share my useless and unwanted opinion in that thread.

 

All the things you listed were situations where one might have helpful knowledge to share due to knowing something about the particular "issue."

 

I should have been more clear with my original post.

 

Edited to add, hugs are welcome any time from anybody (well, at least virtual hugs). As long as they are not accompanied by suggestions that if I got rid of my chickens, things would go much better for me. You know because you got rid of yours 5 years ago. 

[unsinkable]

My point was, if a thread says "chicken people," and I know absolutely nothing about chickens, never did know anything about them, or think chickens are gross and should be outlawed, or that turkeys are much better than chickens, I have no need nor desire to go share my useless and unwanted opinion in that thread.

 

All the things you listed were situations where one might have helpful knowledge to share due to knowing something about the particular "issue."

 

I should have been more clear with my original post.

(Don't read the chicken thread. It is heebie-jeebie territory. Also: You win Coolest Avatar.)

[VaKim]

(Don't read the chicken thread. It is heebie-jeebie territory. Also: You win Coolest Avatar.)

Not sure what is cool about my avatar, but thanks.  :001_smile: It's just me and DH.

And I haven't read the chicken thread, actually, lol. Although my mother-in-law and one of my aunts and my grandma did keep chickens. In other words, I have actually seen a chicken.  :D

[Catwoman]

Well...

Because maybe they have a son in dance (but the poster really meant "dance moms of daughters") or

Because they do not have children in dance but were dancers themselves for 20+ years or

Because they grew up on a commercial chicken farm (and didn't realize their knowledge of chickens was considered unworthy because they don't currently keep exotic backyard breeds) or

Because they have a child in public school (and are unaware that their experience with the pedestrian neighborhood school is *obviously* not in the same league with the OP's super special magnet school)...

 

My point is that most of us live in a Christian-dominated society. Many who have converted to other faiths or have abandoned religion altogether have extensive background knowledge of the specific topic posed. Those who identify as Christian often do not agree on the details, so it's not unreasonable that former believers of a similar bent might have insight.

 

*I am none of these things, just offering the pov that things are not always as clear-cut as one might think.

I don't think people consider it to be a problem when someone goes into a "dance moms only" thread and offers hugs or other helpful ideas. It becomes a problem when someone goes into that same thread and says that dance is a waste of time and money and only an ignorant person would sign her kids up for dance.

 

It becomes a problem in the "chicken" thread when someone says that only a fool would want to keep chickens.

 

It becomes a problem in the "public school" thread when someone uses it as yet another excuse to jump on their soapbox about the evils of public school.

 

Those kinds of comments are why we sometimes see people start the "x-type-of-person only" threads. I think they are just trying to avoid a lot of unnecessary drama from people who don't really want to help, but who see an opportunity to push their own agenda.

[VaKim]

I don't think people consider it to be a problem when someone goes into a "dance moms only" thread and offers hugs or other helpful ideas. It becomes a problem when someone goes into that same thread and says that dance is a waste of time and money and only an ignorant person would sign her kids up for dance.

 

It becomes a problem in the "chicken" thread when someone says that only a fool would want to keep chickens.

 

It becomes a problem in the "public school" thread when someone uses it as yet another excuse to jump on their soapbox about the evils of public school.

 

Those kinds of comments are why we sometimes see people start the "x-type-of-person only" threads. I think they are just trying to avoid a lot of unnecessary drama from people who don't really want to help, but who see an opportunity to push their own agenda.

:iagree:  :thumbup1:

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I don't think people consider it to be a problem when someone goes into a "dance moms only" thread and offers hugs or other helpful ideas. It becomes a problem when someone goes into that same thread and says that dance is a waste of time and money and only an ignorant person would sign her kids up for dance.

 

It becomes a problem in the "chicken" thread when someone says that only a fool would want to keep chickens.

 

It becomes a problem in the "public school" thread when someone uses it as yet another excuse to jump on their soapbox about the evils of public school.

 

Those kinds of comments are why we sometimes see people start the "x-type-of-person only" threads. I think they are just trying to avoid a lot of unnecessary drama from people who don't really want to help, but who see an opportunity to push their own agenda.

 

Can you link me to where anyone has done this to a CC thread?

 

[hornblower]

But the fact that this happens in all sorts of threads and topics partly is just an illustration of how forums work. You put stuff out there and you get all sorts of things back and threads take on a life of their own. It's not really a specifically religious thing. start a weight loss thread and someone will tell you to not bother because you can be healthy and fat.

Isn't this partly why we have jawm posts?

[Word Nerd]

I've thought about putting people on "ignore".  But most of time those same people have fascinating things to say on other topics.  I'm so glad I haven't ignored them, because then I discover they have lots of interesting things to say about something else.  

 

 

I don't know how others use the Ignore feature, but I still read posts by the few people I have on Ignore and it's easy to do so. It's more of a reminder to myself that I've had issues with the person in the past and either found it fruitless to engage in discussion or the person's debate style brings out the worst in me. Although there are one or two posters who I ignore completely because they are almost always combative no matter what the topic is, I mostly use that feature to help me control my own tendency toward snark and sarcasm, which can admittedly be quite fun but is rarely helpful. There's a fine line between being playful and nasty when using sarcasm, and I am as guilty of crossing that line as the next person. I may still reply, but I am more careful about engaging with the person.

[marbel]

But the fact that this happens in all sorts of threads and topics partly is just an illustration of how forums work. You put stuff out there and you get all sorts of things back and threads take on a life of their own. It's not really a specifically religious thing. start a weight loss thread and someone will tell you to not bother because you can be healthy and fat.

Isn't this partly why we have jawm posts?

 

I don't have any links to specific threads, but I know that even in jawm posts, people will disagree.  I've accidentally done it myself - read the post, then a bunch of replies, and suddenly I'm not responding to the OP but to a conglomeration of it and the posts after.   Probably others have done so accidentally as well, but perhaps some not accidentally.

 

It's true that threads take on a life of their own.  I've started a few threads that veered way off my original intent. But that happens in in-person conversations, too!  Surely most if not all of us have been in a group where a topic went all over the place and ended up somewhere far from the original statement or question that started it. 

 

 

[Catwoman]

Can you link me to where anyone has done this to a CC thread?

 

I have neither the time nor the inclination to sift through threads to prove my point. You can certainly choose not to believe me, though -- it's perfectly fine if our opinions and recollections differ on this. :)

 

Also, because the most egregious offenses tend to be reported, many offensive posts are deleted by a moderator shortly after they are posted, so they are no longer around to link.

[albeto.]

This may have already been mentioned, but my question is why, if you are not a Christian, atheist, whatever, would you even want to respond in a thread that requests those people only? I compare it to threads like "dance moms," those who have a child in public school," "chicken people," and on and on. They are requesting a very specific group to reply and since I don't have a child in dance or public school, nor do I have chickens, I can't imagine going in there and replying. 

 

There is a reason that, for a long time, people did not discuss politics or religion in "polite company." And yep, I am old fashioned and one of those people who think the old days were much better. Well, at least certain periods of them anyway.

 

I speak up when I think there is potential to cause unjustified harm to an innocent person, or if I think there is an opportunity to offer a positive alternative. I don't care about the context, either. If I think I can contribute some information or insight or alternative option in a positive way, I'll speak up. It's all I can do, but it's something I can do. Because my idea of what may be damaging or helpful does not conform with everyone's idea of what may be damaging or helpful, I know my opinion will be rejected by some, accepted by others. Nevertheless, people may stop and think. This approach has made a positive difference in my life and subsequently, the lives of my children. So that's my motivation. I always try to be respectful of the person, even if I lack respect for the argument. I recognize that there are going to be times where my lack of respect for an argument will be mistaken for my lack of respect for the person posing the argument, but my intention is to keep a neutral stance.

[Pawz4me]

But the fact that this happens in all sorts of threads and topics partly is just an illustration of how forums work. You put stuff out there and you get all sorts of things back and threads take on a life of their own. It's not really a specifically religious thing. start a weight loss thread and someone will tell you to not bother because you can be healthy and fat.

Isn't this partly why we have jawm posts?

 

Or ask a question about your inside dog and someone will often chime in about how dirty and nasty and stinky dogs are, and that they should only live outside.  Which is so very (not) helpful.

 

The problem does indeed occur on a LOT of topics, but often the poster is looking for advice, so a "JAWM" thread won't always work.

 

[Joanne]

Or ask a question about your inside dog and someone will often chime in about how dirty and nasty and stinky dogs are, and that they should only live outside.  Which is so very (not) helpful.

 

The problem does indeed occur on a LOT of topics, but often the poster is looking for advice, so a "JAWM" thread won't always work.

 

 

 

Interesting. I don't see (percieve?) it a lot at all. I don't think people "often" chime in with opposing viewpoints (unless the thread IS a debateable topic/hot topic). I don't think it happens on a lot of topics, and I think when it does, it is nearly always well within normal discusison forum expectations.

 

And I think that the JAWM is mostly respected, especially given how many posters with opinions we have.

[*Lulu*]

I don't know how others use the Ignore feature, but I still read posts by the few people I have on Ignore and it's easy to do so. It's more of a reminder to myself that I've had issues with the person in the past and either found it fruitless to engage in discussion or the person's debate style brings out the worst in me. Although there are one or two posters who I ignore completely because they are almost always combative no matter what the topic is, I mostly use that feature to help me control my own tendency toward snark and sarcasm, which can admittedly be quite fun but is rarely helpful. There's a fine line between being playful and nasty when using sarcasm, and I am as guilty of crossing that line as the next person. I may still reply, but I am more careful about engaging with the person.

This is similar to how I use ignore.

 

I still read the posts by those I have in ignore 2/3rds of the time, but the fact they are on ignore reminds me that I need to take what they say with a grain of salt and keep a tighter check on myself.

[fraidycat]

I don't know how others use the Ignore feature, but I still read posts by the few people I have on Ignore and it's easy to do so. It's more of a reminder to myself that I've had issues with the person in the past and either found it fruitless to engage in discussion or the person's debate style brings out the worst in me. Although there are one or two posters who I ignore completely because they are almost always combative no matter what the topic is, I mostly use that feature to help me control my own tendency toward snark and sarcasm, which can admittedly be quite fun but is rarely helpful. There's a fine line between being playful and nasty when using sarcasm, and I am as guilty of crossing that line as the next person. I may still reply, but I am more careful about engaging with the person.

I use ignore to stop myself from calling a couple people bad names - in my head only - but the negative reaction their BS inspires only creates bad energy for me and a bad mood so I choose to pretend they don't exist.

 

When I happen to accidentally read their posts due to being quoted, my gratitude for the ignore feature is strengthened.

[marbel]

Well...

Because maybe they have a son in dance (but the poster really meant "dance moms of daughters") or

Because they do not have children in dance but were dancers themselves for 20+ years or

Because they grew up on a commercial chicken farm (and didn't realize their knowledge of chickens was considered unworthy because they don't currently keep exotic backyard breeds) or

Because they have a child in public school (and are unaware that their experience with the pedestrian neighborhood school is *obviously* not in the same league with the OP's super special magnet school)...

 

My point is that most of us live in a Christian-dominated society. Many who have converted to other faiths or have abandoned religion altogether have extensive background knowledge of the specific topic posed. Those who identify as Christian often do not agree on the details, so it's not unreasonable that former believers of a similar bent might have insight.

 

*I am none of these things, just offering the pov that things are not always as clear-cut as one might think.

There's a big difference between being a former dance mom because her kid grew out of it, and being a former adherent to a religion because she rejected it. Honestly, I think former believers of any faith should refrain from participating in discussions on it, unless that viewpoint is specifically requested. I am a former Roman Catholic and while I haven't any animosity or bad memories associated with it, there is no point to me participating in a thread on it. Even more so for those who do feel disdain for their former faith, or for any faith. There are plenty of other people who can add more value.

[Wildcat]

My point was, if a thread says "chicken people," and I know absolutely nothing about chickens, never did know anything about them, or think chickens are gross and should be outlawed, or that turkeys are much better than chickens, I have no need nor desire to go share my useless and unwanted opinion in that thread.

 

All the things you listed were situations where one might have helpful knowledge to share due to knowing something about the particular "issue."

 

I should have been more clear with my original post.

 

Edited to add, hugs are welcome any time from anybody (well, at least virtual hugs). As long as they are not accompanied by suggestions that if I got rid of my chickens, things would go much better for me. You know because you got rid of yours 5 years ago. 

 

I agree--- if you don't have a BTDT bit to share, then I don't understand why anyone would enter a chicken thread other than to perhaps learn about chickens. I can't imagine someone posting answers about chickens if they are truly in the dark about chickens unless they only want to stir the pot.

 

Sadly, not every one is receptive to hugs/positive thoughts/good wishes from those who aren't the same flavor of religion they are and don't hesitate to say it --- I have seen it here more than once and I have had it happen to my face over and over IRL. And I agree 100% with giving hugs/wishes with unsolicited advice. That's all sorts of rude no matter who the giver is!

 

I don't think people consider it to be a problem when someone goes into a "dance moms only" thread and offers hugs or other helpful ideas. It becomes a problem when someone goes into that same thread and says that dance is a waste of time and money and only an ignorant person would sign her kids up for dance.

 

It becomes a problem in the "chicken" thread when someone says that only a fool would want to keep chickens.

 

It becomes a problem in the "public school" thread when someone uses it as yet another excuse to jump on their soapbox about the evils of public school.

 

Those kinds of comments are why we sometimes see people start the "x-type-of-person only" threads. I think they are just trying to avoid a lot of unnecessary drama from people who don't really want to help, but who see an opportunity to push their own agenda.

 

I totally agree. I can't fathom why someone would do such a thing other than to stir the pot and I have seen it happen over and over again. Add religion to the mix, and it brings out lots of people's 'nasty'. 

 

Honestly, I think the threads with "x-type-of-person" and "cc" are seen as potentially contentious threads and automatically attract those who can't hold back their nasty, so they go in with their 'nasty spoon' to stir things up.

 

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I have neither the time nor the inclination to sift through threads to prove my point. You can certainly choose not to believe me, though -- it's perfectly fine if our opinions and recollections differ on this. :)

 

Also, because the most egregious offenses tend to be reported, many offensive posts are deleted by a moderator shortly after they are posted, so they are no longer around to link.

 

I choose not to believe you.  If this behavior was so rampant on this board someone would surely be able to prove it.  My guess is that many are taking offense to what they think is being said than what is actually being said.

[Catwoman]

I choose not to believe you. If this behavior was so rampant on this board someone would surely be able to prove it. My guess is that many are taking offense to what they think is being said than what is actually being said.

Clearly, we will have to agree to disagree.

 

It is not a matter of "able to prove." It is a matter of not caring enough whether or not you believe me to be bothered sorting through old threads to find evidence for you.

 

I know that sounds rude, but I don't intend it to be -- I have nothing against you at all, but I don't feel the need to justify my opinions to you, nor do I expect you to prove anything to me. We disagree, and that's fine. :)

[LucyStoner]

The problem with that, though, is that posters here can't even agree on what a Christian is. There are more than just one who have quite narrow views of what makes a Christian so you still end up with people hurt or offended.

Exactly, I've read a lot of threads here where a Christian poster will call out someone put for participating in thread marked Christian content and the person being called out IS a Christian.

[Seasider]

Personally, I think all Christians need a Pagan friend. They're almost unshockable. It's handy to have unshockable friends. You bunch have an untapped source of support here. :p

Rosie, you are a gem.

[Scrub Jay]

I choose not to believe you.  If this behavior was so rampant on this board someone would surely be able to prove it.  My guess is that many are taking offense to what they think is being said than what is actually being said.

 

Well, I tried finding even threads simply titled Christian only and barely could via the search here or on Google.  I think your last statement is true plus I also think people are thinking CC threads are only for Christians as well.

 

[Audrey]

Exactly, I've read a lot of threads here where a Christian poster will call out someone put for participating in thread marked Christian content and the person being called out IS a Christian.

 

 

Yes.  That's always rather funny when it happens.  Another funny thing is that the worst, nastiest threads I've ever read on here (now-banned political ones aside) are the Christian topic ones where the Christians rip each other apart over points of faith or sometimes even just plain old semantics.  I have to wonder if some are confusing that in-fighting with attacks from outsiders, or if maybe those attacks don't count when launched between same-religious parties.  :confused1:

[sassenach]

I started to post this in that thread in response to one poster's comment re: this not being a safe place to share problems and concerns. It sparked a question/general wondering - but one that seems broader than just that one particular thread and context. Now to see if I can put the question(s) into words...

 

If you don't mind indulging my curiosity a bit, to get started:

 

What role(s) do internet discussion forums play in your life?

 

Have these forums (and the people) replaced in full, or in part, a real live human(s) in your life? Or changed the relationship(s) in some way? If so, is this positive or negative in your opinion?

 

I'm still trying to flesh out my thoughts on this, but hopefully this will get the discussion started while my mind munches on the rest.

 

Thanks for playing.

Without joining the fray, I just want to say thanks to you for asking these questions.  In thinking through my answers, I realized that I really need to stay off of the chat boards as a regular thing. They just don't fill the role that they used to, nor do I need them to anymore. 

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Clearly, we will have to agree to disagree.

 

It is not a matter of "able to prove." It is a matter of not caring enough whether or not you believe me to be bothered sorting through old threads to find evidence for you.

 

I know that sounds rude, but I don't intend it to be -- I have nothing against you at all, but I don't feel the need to justify my opinions to you, nor do I expect you to prove anything to me. We disagree, and that's fine. :)

 

You and a few others are the ones making these claims so I have nothing to prove.  I find it interesting that you can be bothered to make these accusations over and over (and over and over) yet can't be "bothered" to back them up.  I hope you understand why that would lead someone to question the credibility of these claims.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Exactly, I've read a lot of threads here where a Christian poster will call out someone put for participating in thread marked Christian content and the person being called out IS a Christian.

 

It has happened to em a couple of times. It was pretty amusing.

[LaxMom]

There's a big difference between being a former dance mom because her kid grew out of it, and being a former adherent to a religion because she rejected it. Honestly, I think former believers of any faith should refrain from participating in discussions on it, unless that viewpoint is specifically requested. I am a former Roman Catholic and while I haven't any animosity or bad memories associated with it, there is no point to me participating in a thread on it. Even more so for those who do feel disdain for their former faith, or for any faith. There are plenty of other people who can add more value.

"Dance moms: Help me reconcile <objectionable feature>. I/my child really wants to dance but this <objectionable feature> is now causing me/her/him to dread/have anxiety about going to dance. "

 

"We found <objectionable feature> to be the norm. I/my child danced at X number of studios in multiple states. It seems to just go with the territory. I/my child finally realized I/he/she not getting enough satisfaction/enjoyment/whatever from dance to offset the horrible <objectionable feature> experience, so we walked away. We've never regretted it."

 

_____

 

CC, as Audrey has already explained, means "Christian content". It does not mean specific-regional-variation-of-one-denomination only may enter, just that the topic is or is being addressed from a Christian perspective, which we all know is a pretty damn broad (or narrow, depending on who you are) spectrum. I'm not sure why it's so difficult to fathom that anyone (even a non or former believer) could contribute something to the conversation, even the suggestion that if a point of church doctrine causes that much angst, perhaps the denomination is not a proper fit for one's actual belief system. Not shockingly, those of us who are non-believers have a pretty good idea of the range and details of theology. Probably because we learned it before rejecting it, and also because we live in a society of Very Loud Believers who want the comfort of assuming that everyone embraces the same beliefs. 

 

No to mention that at least a couple of people on this thread have been told their hugs are not welcome as a wrong-believer. I would point out that Mother Teresa embraced the lepers, but she really wasn't the "right" kind either. How f-ing sanctimonious. 

[texasmama]

No to mention that at least a couple of people on this thread have been told their hugs are not welcome as a wrong-believer. I would point out that Mother Teresa embraced the lepers, but she really wasn't the "right" kind either. How f-ing sanctimonious. 

I've read this several times, and I don't understand what you are getting at.  I understand your first sentence from reading the thread, but I'm not following your point about Mother Teresa and not sure who is f-ing sanctimonious.   Who said that Mother Teresa is not the "right" kind of whatever?

 

Not trying to be dense.

[LucyStoner]

I've read this several times, and I don't understand what you are getting at. I understand your first sentence from reading the thread, but I'm not following your point about Mother Teresa and not sure who is f-ing sanctimonious. Who said that Mother Teresa is not the "right" kind of whatever?

 

Not trying to be dense.

I think Laxmom was referencing that Mother Teresa was a Catholic nun.

[LaxMom]

I think Laxmom was referencing that Mother Teresa was a Catholic nun.

I was. And suggesting (apparently rather obtusely) that the same people who sit on their asses judging who is a "real" Christian while doing exactly nothing to benefit other humans, and reject genuine gestures of sympathy from those they judge unworthy to extend them, would also judge her to be the "wrong kind".

 

Thanks for clarifying for me. :)

[Saddlemomma]

I don't see that thread as threat of a mass exodus.  I think it's quite possible people want an additional place to go, not a replacement for this board.  I also don't necessarily see it as a split between different types of Christians (the bolded). 

 

The fact that this board is overwhelmingly populated by people who identify as Christian does not make it a "safe" place for people to post Christian content.  If people don't feel that they can post certain types of content here, then, well, they should find a place where they do.  It's nothing against these boards. I have some questions percolating in my brain that I know I can't ask here, because I could not phrase them so perfectly that someone wouldn't misinterpret, be offended, and jump all over me.  Again, it's nothing against these boards.  I think everywhere there are people who are ready to be offended, and people ready to set up "us vs them" scenarios.

 

THIS (bolded)!  I asked for a PM for that reason.  Sometimes I just want to participate in a Christian discussion, ask a Christian question, or get feedback regarding a potential Christian science curriculum without non-Christians chiming in, interjecting their beliefs about how unscientific Christianity is, or actually trying to answer a question about Christian doctrine/interpretation with a secular worldview.  I greatly value their input and that of this board on other things and am not thinking about leaving.  It's just that sometimes I don't want to wade through all the "repetitive stuff" that comes up with talking about Christianity.on this board, especially if I'm seeking guidance.  For that I sometimes need more mature Christians than myself.

[Stellalarella]

I don't think bleeping in curse words is helpful for good discussion.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I speak up when I think there is potential to cause unjustified harm to an innocent person, or if I think there is an opportunity to offer a positive alternative. I don't care about the context, either. If I think I can contribute some information or insight or alternative option in a positive way, I'll speak up. It's all I can do, but it's something I can do. Because my idea of what may be damaging or helpful does not conform with everyone's idea of what may be damaging or helpful, I know my opinion will be rejected by some, accepted by others. Nevertheless, people may stop and think. This approach has made a positive difference in my life and subsequently, the lives of my children. So that's my motivation. I always try to be respectful of the person, even if I lack respect for the argument. I recognize that there are going to be times where my lack of respect for an argument will be mistaken for my lack of respect for the person posing the argument, but my intention is to keep a neutral stance.

if I did that about the things that I thought would "cause unjustified harm to an innocent person, or if I think there is an opportunity to offer a positive alternative" then I would be accused of proselytizing.  I understand your motivation but I do think it is rather amusing to find such an evangelical atheist.  

[EmseB]

It has happened to em a couple of times. It was pretty amusing.

 

 

 How f-ing sanctimonious. 

 

 

I kind of wonder if it's these kinds of sentiments (among others) that might make people feel like they would want a "safer space" or even an echo chamber.

[PineFarmMom]

I kind of wonder if it's these kinds of sentiments (among others) that might make people feel like they would want a "safer space" or even an echo chamber.

It certainly adds up, doesn't it?

[texasmama]

I was. And suggesting (apparently rather obtusely) that the same people who sit on their asses judging who is a "real" Christian while doing exactly nothing to benefit other humans, and reject genuine gestures of sympathy from those they judge unworthy to extend them, would also judge her to be the "wrong kind".

 

Thanks for clarifying for me. :)

I hadn't seen this so I did not understand your reference.