S/o mass exodus

[Audrey]

OK, so I guess we are naming names after all. :rolleyes: I guess I made your list of "not-well-liked posters." So be it.

 

I have had issues with albeto in the past and I stand by my words. I have also agreed with her on other occasions. Clearly, you and I will have to agree to disagree, because you seem quite determined to defend every last thing she has ever posted and I find that to be ridiculous. Neither you nor I can know for sure what her intentions are in every thread. All we really have are our own interpretations and clearly, our interpretations differ.

 

That said, I hope you will stop singling out albeto, as I don't think it helps the discussion to get mired down in a personal dispute. My point was that it isn't necessary to point fingers at individuals when many of us are guilty of the same offenses, and that it would be preferable if people would try to be more careful about attacking and bullying our fellow board members.

 

 

 

Well, see ... I didn't say you were on *my* list of offensive posters up thread.  You just assumed and extrapolated that out of my words.  It wasn't what I said.  I responded to your question of wondering if you were on lists.  I just gave an example of how there might be reason for you to think that. 

 

I rarely find you offensive, Cat, but I do find this post and, especially ones where you are a party to ganging up on albeto to be very presumptuous and un-called-for.

 

ETA:  I don't defend albeto's every post either.  I would challenge you to find one other thread besides this one where I have done that.  I'm only doing it now because I find the mean-girl hunt of her to be rather disgusting. 

[Slache]

Really?  I think it's more junior-high-b!tch-posse to coyly or vaguely "call out" the "certain poster" or "certain someone(s)" when everyone reading knows exactly who you are talking about already. 

 

Say what you mean, or don't say anything, but certainly, don't insult people with bullsh-t games.

If we're talking about me I was just being polite. Besides, without the posts to back myself up it would just seem slander.

[Jane in NC]

 

What happened when you reported what you saw as the breaking of board rules? Do you think it's realistic to expect that the rules will always be followed in a diverse community of (mostly) IRL strangers, or do you think the rules might be broken and will need to be reported X% of the time? And that when they are reported, the moderator may or may not agree with the person reporting?

 

I expect that rules will be broken some of the time when you have thousands of interactions/day on a diverse range of topics. I understand the desire to not want them broken in the first place, but I find that unrealistic. Then I have to add in the idea that what I consider breaking a board rules, others, including the mods, may not. 

 

:)

 

This is a confession that I have made before.  I do not hesitate to report to the mods those posts which I feel (and yes I am being judgmental here) that may place posters in a compromising legal situation.  Sometimes people who are at the end of their rope with a significant other say more than they should on a public forum.  I have no problem reporting these posters--and have found that the mods usually agree.

 

Regarding general discussions, I find it interesting sometimes when I see responses within a thread.  One person might say "Shenanigans!" which leads someone else to say "How dare you insult me!" Is it more diplomatic to say "Hmmm" when responding to a post with which one disagrees?  My point is that "lively" discussion may include a vocabulary or conversational style to which one is not accustom.  But that does not in itself make a response a violation of board rules.

 

My usual rule for public discourse is "Would my mother approve?"  Ha!  Good old fashioned guilt operating here.

 

[Catwoman]

Well, see ... I didn't say you were on *my* list of offensive posters up thread. You just assumed and extrapolated that out of my words. It wasn't what I said. I responded to your question of wondering if you were on lists. I just gave an example of how there might be reason for you to think that.

 

I rarely find you offensive, Cat, but I do find this post and, especially ones where you are a party to ganging up on albeto to be very presumptuous and un-called-for.

 

ETA: I don't defend albeto's every post either. I would challenge you to find one other thread besides this one where I have done that. I'm only doing it now because I find the mean-girl hunt of her to be rather disgusting.

Thanks for clarifying, Audrey. I appreciate it, and I'm sorry if I misinterpreted part of your post.

[Audrey]

If we're talking about me I was just being polite. Besides, without the posts to back myself up it would just seem slander.

 

 

I was not talking about you.

 

IMO, I think the polite thing would be to say nothing, not participate in vague references to "certain poster(s)."  Or if you felt it was a shift in tone of the whole board -- then yes, I could see how people from all the various sides (because there ARE more than 2 sides to this) may be able to argue that legitimately.

[albeto.]

I just think there is a good reason people all throughout history have grouped together with others of like values and beliefs. And why so often, when differences arise, there are wars and splits. My opinion here, but I think we are meant to be with "our own kind." Now, don't go reading racism or anything into that. I am talking about beliefs, values, things like that.

 

I think there's a lot of this at play. Not just grouping with like-minded people, but interpreting things said in accordance to whether or not one is part of the in-group. In-group bias and confirmation bias and all kinds of biases are going to contribute to conflict. No avoiding that. 

[Joker]

I just think there is a good reason people all throughout history have grouped together with others of like values and beliefs. And why so often, when differences arise, there are wars and splits. My opinion here, but I think we are meant to be with "our own kind." Now, don't go reading racism or anything into that. I am talking about beliefs, values, things like that.

 

I don't agree. I'm a Christian who married an atheist. Both of our families are full of successful relationships between very different people. My in-laws are as different as dh and I and have been married for almost 55 years - and are happy. I honestly think I would end up completely bored if I only surrounded myself with people who were like me.

 

 

I have no idea what the answer is to keep people from being offended. There have, of course, been posts that angered and/or offended me but I mostly just try to ignore it and move on. I will say those posts that deal with religion that bother me are rarely posted by a non-believer.

[OneStepAtATime]

So. If we keep talking about people, the thread will get locked.

 

I am wondering if anyone is interested in leaving people aside, and discussing how large groups of diverse people negotiate their different perspectives in ways that are satisfying and acceptable to all, without leaving, banning or ignoring ?

I agree, it might.  

 

I will try to respond to your questions, Sadie, but feel I need to couch it in my personal experiences and choices. 

 

FWIW, I have never ignored anyone or had a desire to ban anyone.  I think I have not needed to so far because I try hard to see the other side, or sides, even if I may not agree, and to respect that the other person/people are trying to share their viewpoint.  I listen.  Even when I don't agree, I listen. 

 

 I also try hard to keep in mind that there are human beings on the other side of those posts, and those human beings have feelings.  If what they say seems like complete malarkey to me, I do not start name calling, I do not attack their beliefs, but I may share relevant links/info/ideas, especially if it seems they are open to listening to me, whether they agree with me or not.  

 

I very much try not to take anything posted here personally, either.  The bottom line is this is just a forum for discussion with people from all over the world, but we are not creating laws here.  These conversations are not the be all and end all of my life.  In rare instances I may know someone on here in real life but mostly everyone here lives somewhere I may never see.  Getting upset seems senseless, although at times I allowed my feelings to carry me away.  Also, there have been times I have felt great pain for others, and have done my best to be supportive.  I have found, though, that the few times I have tried to step in to defend someone it sometimes just made the situation worse.  Staying out of it altogether would probably have been a better course of action. 

 

I do reserve the right to step away when I realize I am no longer thinking rationally and clearly about the topic and am reacting overly emotionally instead.  I also accept that while it is great to hear all sides, there are times when I must accept that a topic is too sensitive for me to easily partake in a rational discussion.  Those I try to avoid (not always successfully).  My rantings and potentially irrational reactions do no one any good, especially me, and do not further any causes I may have.

 

I also try to recognize that no matter how rational the argument I present, there are those that will never agree.   My rational arguments are irrelevant to them.  Beating a dead horse seems pretty pointless.  

 

But I am a human being and I have flaws.  I do not always succeed in the things I try hard to do to keep conversations going in a positive, forward moving sort of way.   :)

 

Not sure I helped answer any of your questions, Sadie, but I appreciate your efforts to steer this conversation.  

 

Best wishes to all...

 

[MFG]

I strive to remain enigmatic and elusive. It adds to my exotic allure.

[texasmama]

:seeya: Class clown here!

 

The Hive is like the "collective conscious".  It's where all the information comes to roost.  Whether I need help with an Algebra curriculum, running pants that don't fall down, choosing a new washing machine, or whether or not I should toss out steak three days past the "sell by" date, it is my go to place.  It is a great place to find out how people other than myself think, feel, and act.  I find it very helpful and interesting.  

 

I am a member of other boards and have been for a very long time.  Every board has something different to offer.

 

It is not universally emotionally safe here.  It is not meant to be.  There are ways to navigate the space here and receive the greatest benefit with the lowest cost.  I don't care for "friendly debate" most of the time so I don't engage.  If I do, I put on my flame-proof suit.  I have rarely been treated in a manner in which I think is rude.  I have frequently watched others be treated in a manner in which I think is rude.  I have a broad definition of what is rude, though.  I'm from the South.  ;)  

 

I am deeply grateful to those people who are not like me who choose to share parts of themselves. It is so beneficial.  I attempt to treat that kindly and with respect.

 

Two of my main roles in life involve making people laugh and giving support, which extends to online, as well.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jane in NC]

My mother would be even more blunt and forthright about her opinions than I am :)

 

She would be boggled of mind about why I would spend time trying to understand a YEC, for example. Or hanging out with Conservatives.

 

My mother clearly delineated between her opinions and how she responded to others in public.  But I suspect that our mums would have hit it off quite well. 

[tm919]

Although I lurked for years, I joined here just recently -- but I've been part of numerous other online communities/forums over the years. Mostly I’ve come here for information on curricula.

 

To me, online forums are communities of interest that can compensate for a problem that exists in all but the most densely populated areas. If you live in a rural area, a suburban area, or even a small city, it can be difficult to find a critical mass of people in the same place with your specific interest(s) and/or perspective. If I didn’t have online communities, I just wouldn’t talk to anyone about my interests (sad to say) unless I were able to identify them, in some way, as having the same interests.

 

However, I think online forums have a tendency to promote assumed similarity, because what little information we have online makes us believe we are more similar than we are. We don’t automatically have the information that might cause us to assume – rightly or wrongly -- that a person is “different†from us (e.g., age, dress, general manners). The little bit of information we start off with – that we have the same interest ---  can create the illusion that we are more similar than we are. Eventually we do realize that certain people aren’t that similar to us in outlook, and when that happens I think it can be troubling. 

 

[elegantlion]

I started to post this in that thread in response to one poster's comment re: this not being a safe place to share problems and concerns. It sparked a question/general wondering - but one that seems broader than just that one particular thread and context. Now to see if I can put the question(s) into words...

 

If you don't mind indulging my curiosity a bit, to get started:

 

What role(s) do internet discussion forums play in your life?

 

Have these forums (and the people) replaced in full, or in part, a real live human(s) in your life? Or changed the relationship(s) in some way? If so, is this positive or negative in your opinion?

 

I'm still trying to flesh out my thoughts on this, but hopefully this will get the discussion started while my mind munches on the rest.

 

Thanks for playing.

 

This place is my cultural outlook on the world. I live in a very non-diverse area and so my real world exposure to diverse opinions and beliefs had been little before this forum. 

 

I've had my beliefs challenged and changed over the years. I don't look at the world as so big and scary as before. I have IRL friends that have come from this board, some I've still never met. 

 

The debating spirit of this board has always existed. It took me months before I would engage a conversation with an opposing viewpoint because I had not enough evidence to back up my opinion. I love that there are people here who do not blindly just accept everything at face value - it can seem overly confrontational to some. 

 

That question everything attitude made me a better educator too. I don't like pat answers to my thousands of homeschooling questions. On this board, I found people will to dig deeper and help, not just toe the homeschooling line of "anything is better than public school."

 

What this board has challenged me to do is make sure my beliefs and opinions are not just blind bias walking around. Since I'm in college studying to be a historian, that ability to see passed my bias is important. Does it mean I've changed my mind about every belief? No. My "primary source" is no longer just me and the people around me. 

 

I've seen the contention on this board way higher. This has been actually pretty tame lately, imo. But not everyone wants to be challenged or debate, I get that. 

[Slache]

It would be nice if people respected when we put "Christians only" in a thread title. Just sayin'.

[Joker]

It would be nice if people respected when we put "Christians only" in a thread title. Just sayin'.

 

 

 

The problem with that, though, is that posters here can't even agree on what a Christian is. There are more than just one who have quite narrow views of what makes a Christian so you still end up with people hurt or offended.

[texasmama]

Out of likes. Jane and OneStep, consider yourself liked :)

 

Would practical things help ? Posting a topic as X - Debate ? Does that help people know whether or not to engage ? Rather than getting drawn in by the topic and finding themselves in a debate arena ? Helping people make an intentional decision to engage in a thread where they will be challenged ?

I was a member of a forum once which had a discussion and debate forum.  Entering into discussion there was a bit "no holds barred".  It was an option to hide this subforum if it was not your "thing".  It devolved and went badly.  lol  I did like the idea in principle, and I think it would likely work much better in a large forum like this one.

[Slache]

The problem with that, though, is that posters here can't even agree on what a Christian is. There are more than just one who have quite narrow views of what makes a Christian so you still end up with people hurt or offended.

 

But people who identify as Christian have some common threads. I'm a baptist and if a catholic answered my question about YEC, spanking, church attire, etc. it would be appropriate. If I had a question relating solely to baptists I'd put that in the title, but I don't bother because I know it wouldn't be respected anyway.

[OneStepAtATime]

The problem with that, though, is that posters here can't even agree on what a Christian is. There are more than just one who have quite narrow views of what makes a Christian so you still end up with people hurt or offended.

I agree.  Apparently I am not Christian enough to be a Christian for some.  Which is fine, but it does make it clear to me that there are MANY definitions of Christian.  

[Serenade]

 

 

I am wondering if anyone is interested in leaving people aside, and discussing how large groups of diverse people negotiate their different perspectives in ways that are satisfying and acceptable to all, without leaving, banning or ignoring ?

 

 

I think most people can't do this, but some people are able do it very well, and these are the people who really open other peoples' eyes.  I think it is somewhat of a gift, to be able to discuss difficult topics without offending those on the other side.

 

What I've found during my own time on various boards is that almost all people have hot topics about which they can't talk without sounding offensive to others.  I have a couple of those myself, and I just find for me, personally, it's best that I don't talk about them.  Those are the threads that I read, but rarely comment on, although sometimes I let a comment slip against my better judgement.   I also try to be respectful of other people's personal hot topics, and watch my words where I know I will probably cause offense. I don't think there is anything wrong with being more gentle around people who are particularly sensitive to a certain topic.   I've found that by choosing how I participate, and by stepping back even when I don't want to, I've learned a lot from people who I might otherwise judge. 

[OneStepAtATime]

I think most people can't do this, but some people are able do it very well, and these are the people who really open other peoples' eyes.  I think it is somewhat of a gift, to be able to discuss difficult topics without offending those on the other side.

 

What I've found during my own time on various boards is that almost all people have hot topics about which they can't talk without sounding offensive to others.  I have a couple of those myself, and I just find for me, personally, it's best that I don't talk about them.  Those are the threads that I read, but rarely comment on, although sometimes I let a comment slip against my better judgement.   I also try to be respectful of other people's personal hot topics, and watch my words where I know I will probably cause offense. I don't think there is anything wrong with being more gentle around people who are particularly sensitive to a certain topic.   I've found that by choosing how I participate, and by stepping back even when I don't want to, I've learned a lot from people who I might otherwise judge. 

:iagree:

[texasmama]

The Boxing Ring ?

 

Trouble is that then becomes an echo chamber full of people who think verbal boxing is fun. 

 

I mean really, that's how I think of it. Of course sometimes I get injured and it hurts. Part of the sport.

Kind of.  But for people coming from various viewpoints who like to debate, it was great fun.  Folks like me steered clear.  It went badly because it was a small forum so the debate forum feelings spilled over into other forums and there were not very many members to diffuse those feelings.

[Slache]

Does it just come down to differences in personality ?

 

Yes! People have been offended by my personality or colloquialisms many times before.

[albeto.]

But people who identify as Christian have some common threads. I'm a baptist and if a catholic answered my question about YEC, spanking, church attire, etc. it would be appropriate. If I had a question relating solely to baptists I'd put that in the title, but I don't bother because I know it wouldn't be respected anyway.

 

Respectfully, the problems I see arising from this solution follow.

 

1. Christian Only is exclusionary. How many exclusionary groups should get their own accountability-free threads? 

2. Christians cannot reliably identify who counts as a "real Christian" so how would you weed out the riff-raff (to borrow a phrase from the thread that inspired this)?

3. There are issues such as discipline that are not exclusive to faith. Spanking isn't a Christian thing any more than eating lima beans is. Why not hear the opinion of people who may have good insight just because they don't fit the particular criteria you believe best represents "real Christianity"?

4. Being held accountable to what we say shouldn't be a source of angst. Perhaps you can see disagreements as an opportunity to let "iron sharpen iron"?

5. Why not create a private group here that can be used by those who share the same general beliefs apart from home education? If you keep it private, others won't see your discussions and you can have a greater theater of privacy. 

[OneStepAtATime]

Does it just come down to differences in personality ? 

 

There are people expressing the view of non-engagement, and staying out of hot topics etc - who are people I admire and appreciate on these forums. And in one way, it would be great if we all had the temperament to be like this.

 

On the other hand, it might get a little boring ? 

 

I guess I kinda like there are peacemakers and case-prosecutors both on these boards...

I agree.  My dad was a "lively conversationalist".  My mom was a peacemaker.  It certainly kept conversations on the interesting side when Dad participated.  Mom kept things from becoming too contentious. :)

[unsinkable]

IMO, it seems like the people who don't want an echo chamber aren't listening to the people who want a safer place.

 

It's like a relationship...you can't force anyone to stay. I think it is too bad that people who didn't want PMs about the other board contributed to the other thread devolving. Why couldn't it just BE?

 

 

 

 

[Joanne]

It would be nice if people respected when we put "Christians only" in a thread title. Just sayin'.

 

I answered one of those recently (I usually don't). But I offered **only** appropriate content from a Christian perspective from when I was a Christian (which was most of my life so far).

 

I respond in some threads with my experience; on Christian devotional resources, Christian spiritual discplines, things relating to the liturgical calendar (which I loved, and miss).

 

My point isn't that *I* should be allowed in Christian threads but where do you draw the line? Active Christians only? Conservative, Liberal, Progressive? Non LDS? Catholic?

 

 

[unsinkable]

I still don't understand what 'a safer place' actually means...

 

And maybe - just maybe - the people who want this 'safer space' aren't listening to those of us who don't want an echo chamber ?

 

Neither group owes anybody anything. Safer place people don't have to stay and Non-echo chamber people don't have to make it safer.

[Slache]

Respectfully, the problems I see arising from this solution follow.

 

1. Christian Only is exclusionary. How many exclusionary groups should get their own accountability-free threads? 

2. Christians cannot reliably identify who counts as a "real Christian" so how would you weed out the riff-raff (to borrow a phrase from the thread that inspired this)?

3. There are issues such as discipline that are not exclusive to faith. Spanking isn't a Christian thing any more than eating lima beans is. Why not hear the opinion of people who may have good insight just because they don't fit the particular criteria you believe best represents "real Christianity"?

4. Being held accountable to what we say shouldn't be a source of angst. Perhaps you can see disagreements as an opportunity to let "iron sharpen iron"?

5. Why not create a private group here that can be used by those who share the same general beliefs apart from home education? If you keep it private, others won't see your discussions and you can have a greater theater of privacy. 

But I'm coming from a certain worldview and I don't want advice in certain areas from people with opposite views. I'm not asking for a non accountability thing. I'm not going to start a thread about how terrible "the g*ys" are. I just want the opinion of like minded people without the insults of others. There are private groups, but not many people in them. I'm not iron, I'm a diamond. Get it strait. 

 

IMO, it seems like the people who don't want an echo chamber aren't listening to the people who want a safer place.

 

It's like a relationship...you can't force anyone to stay. I think it is too bad that people who didn't want PMs about the other board contributed to the other thread devolving. Why couldn't it just BE?

EXACTLY!

[unsinkable]

It's kind of reminds me of when my youngest was little...he'd get in the pool and yell, "Don't get me wet!"

 

He meant, "Don't splash water in my face!" But unless you spoke his language, it was really unclear and illogical.

[Slache]

I still don't understand what 'a safer place' actually means...

 

And maybe - just maybe - the people who want this 'safer space' aren't listening to those of us who don't want an echo chamber ?

Different things to different people? To me it means not to be insulted, which is why I haven't gone into the YEC thread.

 

I answered one of those recently (I usually don't). But I offered **only** appropriate content from a Christian perspective from when I was a Christian (which was most of my life so far).

 

I respond in some threads with my experience; on Christian devotional resources, Christian spiritual discplines, things relating to the liturgical calendar (which I loved, and miss).

 

My point isn't that *I* should be allowed in Christian threads but where do you draw the line? Active Christians only? Conservative, Liberal, Progressive? Non LDS? Catholic?

 

 

Only people like me. Kidding! One could be specific in the thread title if it was applicable. "Can us baptists have a little chat about alcohol?"

 

I think she really means 'can't argumentative atheist stay out of our clearly stated biz', which, to be fair. is probably fair enough.\

 

I would never start a thread that was 'atheists only' or 'people from Australia only' or 'progressives only' - but yeah, although i agree with albeto upthread, i can also see Slache's point.

Thank you.

[unsinkable]

I decided to run an experiment to see if there is actually anyone in my echo chamber :)

 

~

 

The problem is if all the people seeking 'greater safety' leave, you get an echo chamber by default, don't you ?

 

And it pretty much says that the remaining people are unsafe...

 

Indeed...

[Audrey]

It would be nice if people respected when we put "Christians only" in a thread title. Just sayin'.

 

 

Okay.  But you do understand that "CC" was not originated to exclude non-Christian posters, right?  It was intended to note posts that had Christian content in them (like prayer requests or praise reports) so that any posters -- Christian or not -- who didn't want to participate wouldn't spend precious load time opening those threads, then having to close them again or scroll way, way down to the next threads.  It started on the old, old forums where the format was much slower and much less friendly to those on dial-up connections. 

[unsinkable]

I dispute the rest of us are 'unsafe'....

 

I actually only remember reading your first and second lines and my "indeed" applies specifically to the second.

 

I am not sure why you wrote the third line. But those left are unsafe in the Lord of the Flies sense, that the only ones on the island will turn on each other. so there's that.

[texasmama]

I guess I kinda like there are peacemakers and case-prosecutors both on these boards...

I kinda like it, too.

[MaeFlowers]

Ignoring and belittling others, silence, venting and keeping opposing views in perspective are two ways of dealing with otherness.

 

I am wondering if there are other ways ?

 

I am responding the dealing with otherness.

 

From the way I was raised, it is called "putting yourself in other people's shoes." You try, hard as it might be, to understand where the person is coming from. I think, personally, that the inability to do so is where the majority of conflict comes from.

[Slache]

Okay.  But you do understand that "CC" was not originated to exclude non-Christian posters, right?  It was intended to note posts that had Christian content in them (like prayer requests or praise reports) so that any posters -- Christian or not -- who didn't want to participate wouldn't spend precious load time opening those threads, then having to close them again or scroll way, way down to the next threads.  It started on the old, old forums where the format was much slower and much less friendly to those on dial-up connections. 

 

I know, but if you search for Christian only posts they're filed with non Christians.

[Scrub Jay]

I know, but if you search for Christian only posts they're filed with non Christians.

 

How often are there "Christian-only" posts on this board?  I honestly have not seen very many in my years here.  I have seen CC posts regularly but that means Christian Content.

 

ETA: Granted, the search function here is not the best but I could only find one thread with Christian-only in the thread title and then nothing without the "-"

[brehon]

It would be nice if people respected when we put "Christians only" in a thread title. Just sayin'.

 

I don't think it would, though. Whose definition of Christian? What flavor? Are Catholics allowed to play? What about Mormons or mainline Protestants? EO?

 

See the issue?

 

 

As a jumping off point - I've been on the boards since 2002 or so. (FIRST!!  :) ) My eldest was still nursing at that time and homeschooling was merely one possibility among several. I've seen the drama, the swan songs, the politics (WOW! What an election season THAT was, eh?! And I'm just talking about here on the boards!), the religious divides, the math and phonics wars, twaddle v. classics, cherished, long-time posters leave for a variety of reasons and new, now cherished posters come. I was on-duty the night JGEMom was unmasked - my partner and I kept hitting refresh and bemoaning the fact that people were calling 911 during some online high drama! (And my partner at that time was unmarried and childless - he was fascinated by the whole thing.) I remember when the distinctly anti-Catholic flavor to the boards flourished and I've seen the expansion of diversity of viewpoints and opinions. Overall, by and large, I don't think that the boards are any more contentious now than they were a decade or more ago. 

 

I've also seen people who have never met in real life send sewn handprints to Rosie for her quilt and squares to Scarlett for her quilt - both of these during times of extreme stress and grief for these women. I've seen people offer to send unused curricula, books, clothes, etc to other boardies who were struggling. I've seen and continue to see posters offer comfort, support, love, hugs, and exhortations to gird the yoga pants.

 

We are largely a well-educated, out-spoken, international bunch representing a wide variety of ideological, theological, political, socioeconomic, and geographical differences, to say nothing of personality differences. No one should be surprised when there is debate, disagreement, arguing, or wrangling. I think perhaps one of the issues is that many of us, in our real lives, aren't surround by such a diverse group. Between homeschooling or church or community we can easily find ourselves in an echo chamber and it can be disconcerting to read the vigorously written opinions and thoughts of those so different from ourselves. I think that discomfort can be a good thing because it can make us examine our closely held beliefs and either reinforces them after close study or maybe even cause us to rethink some previously held strong opinions.

 

Personally, although I enjoy visiting this forum immensely and my homeschooling journey is the richer for the experiences of those who are wiser than I, I don't invest myself in this place. Meaning, no part of my self-worth hinges on someone disagreeing with me or my closely held beliefs, including feeling insulted or belittled. I do invest myself in that I post when I feel I have something worthwhile or merely amusing to say (even if only I am amused) hence my comparatively low post count.

[Slache]

How often are there "Christian-only" posts on this board?  I honestly have not seen very many in my years here.  I have seen CC posts regularly but that means Christian Content.

 

ETA: Granted, the search function here is not the best but I could only find one thread with Christian-only in the thread title and then nothing without the "-"

 

There was one on January of this year and October of last year. I'm not saying those went bad, but those are two more recent ones.

 

In the future when you want to search for something go to Google and put [your search] site:forums.welltrainedmind.com.

 

Example:

 

 

slache is crazy site:forums.welltrainedmind.com

 

It works SO much better. I don't even use the WTM search bar.

[Scrub Jay]

It works SO much better. I don't even use the WTM search bar.

 

I usually search that way, too, for this board but nothing with "Christian only" comes up for me in the first few pages.  I think the one I found using this search was the one in October and I believed was started by Moxie.  And it was specifically a poll.

 

[Slache]

I don't think it would, though. Whose definition of Christian? What flavor? Are Catholics allowed to play? What about Mormons or mainline Protestants? EO?

 

See the issue?

 

 

As a jumping off point - I've been on the boards since 2002 or so. (FIRST!!  :) ) My eldest was still nursing at that time and homeschooling was merely one possibility among several. I've seen the drama, the swan songs, the politics (WOW! What an election season THAT was, eh?! And I'm just talking about here on the boards!), the religious divides, the math and phonics wars, twaddle v. classics, cherished, long-time posters leave for a variety of reasons and new, now cherished posters come. I was on-duty the night JGEMom was unmasked - my partner and I kept hitting refresh and bemoaning the fact that people were calling 911 during some online high drama! (And my partner at that time was unmarried and childless - he was fascinated by the whole thing.) I remember when the distinctly anti-Catholic flavor to the boards flourished and I've seen the expansion of diversity of viewpoints and opinions. Overall, by and large, I don't think that the boards are any more contentious now than they were a decade or more ago. 

 

I've also seen people who have never met in real life send sewn handprints to Rosie for her quilt and squares to Scarlett for her quilt - both of these during times of extreme stress and grief for these women. I've seen people offer to send unused curricula, books, clothes, etc to other boardies who were struggling. I've seen and continue to see posters offer comfort, support, love, hugs, and exhortations to gird the yoga pants.

 

We are largely a well-educated, out-spoken, international bunch representing a wide variety of ideological, theological, political, socioeconomic, and geographical differences, to say nothing of personality differences. No one should be surprised when there is debate, disagreement, arguing, or wrangling. I think perhaps one of the issues is that many of us, in our real lives, aren't surround by such a diverse group. Between homeschooling or church or community we can easily find ourselves in an echo chamber and it can be disconcerting to read the vigorously written opinions and thoughts of those so different from ourselves. I think that discomfort can be a good thing because it can make us examine our closely held beliefs and either reinforces them after close study or maybe even cause us to rethink some previously held strong opinions.

 

Personally, although I enjoy visiting this forum immensely and my homeschooling journey is the richer for the experiences of those who are wiser than I, I don't invest myself in this place. Meaning, no part of my self-worth hinges on someone disagreeing with me or my closely held beliefs, including feeling insulted or belittled. I do invest myself in that I post when I feel I have something worthwhile or merely amusing to say (even if only I am amused) hence my comparatively low post count.

 

Your post was beautiful, but I will answer your question.

 

People who identify as Christian have some common threads. I'm a baptist and if a catholic answered my question about YEC, spanking, church attire, etc. it would be appropriate. If I had a question relating solely to baptists I'd put that in the title.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I know, but if you search for Christian only posts they're filed with non Christians.

Or we could use that other word for them: "Friends."

[Slache]

Or we could use that other word for them: "Friends."

 

I'm sorry, I'm confused. Did I offend?

 

My point was that if I want advice from people with my worldview I ask Christians.

[Rosie_0801]

 

 

It would be nice if people respected when we put "Christians only" in a thread title. Just sayin'.

 

 

Or we could use that other word for them: "Friends."

 

Yes. There was that time when I popped into a Christian thread to offer hugs and the OP got almost teary that I cared. It wasn't until then that she realised it wasn't a Christian thread at all, but a "be nice to me because I'm feeling utterly, woefully miserable" thread.

 

 

 

 

Personally, I think all Christians need a Pagan friend. They're almost unshockable. It's handy to have unshockable friends. You bunch have an untapped source of support here. :p

 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I only have three things to say:

 

I don't like the use of "My People Only" threads on the boards. I think people should pm, form a social group, or seek out enclaves that already have political or social membership requirements. Keep this place an inclusive salon. My two cents on that.

 

The other thing is that I don't want this place to be for My Kind only, and I can't go find somewhere else that only has My Kind, because even I can't define me. I mean, I know my faith, my politics, and my opinions but if there were another person who held all the same ones I probably wouldn't like her. LOL

 

I'm sick of camps. Sick of division. It's all over the country! Why we put up with it, I have no idea. And all the people here or anywhere who whine about the presence of unwelcome people in their conversations need to grow up. Out here in the adult world we should take people one at a time, be objective about disagreement when possible, avoid grudge holding from one thread to the next, and find some tolerance.

[FloridaLisa]

What role(s) do internet discussion forums play in your life?

 

Have these forums (and the people) replaced in full, or in part, a real live human(s) in your life? Or changed the relationship(s) in some way? If so, is this positive or negative in your opinion?

 

 

This is the only forum I've really participated in. Like Brehon, I've been on this board for a lawng time. I *think* since first finding WTM in 1999ish and then joining the board in 2000. (could it have been that long ago?!) These boards have played a huge role in how I've homeschooled, the materials we've used, online classes we found based on excellent recommendations. It's been a huge online water cooler of homeschooling information all the way through high school and into college. 

 

The forums have also provided so much information about llife for me ... how to make yogurt in a cooler (I forget who first posted this?),  trying to get pregnant again (thanks Lisa in Jax for some great tips), great recipes (Quiver's cinnamon rolls and Amy in NH's Italian crock pot beef sandwiches which are both now internet famous). I found one of my first ww bread recipes from Jean in WI, found great insights into astronomy from Jay in Cleveland, asked questions about how to teach writing classical from Lene in CO (who was then authoring the CW series).

 

These forums probably have replaced some sort of IRL humans in my life, but they've also allowed me to meet several friends IRL. I have a lot of IRL friends, co-op group, and a wonderful church community so this hasn't replaced my local friends. But it widened my exposure to various folks and, most helpful for me, folks interested in giving their kids a really good education at home. 

 

I stay away from the threads that seem to end up in huge debate. Not my cuppa. (learned that here too! ;) )  And as for the Christian forum, I may pop over there. (I seem to remember a denim jumper board starting up for those that wanted a place that was more like-minded.) But this board is my go-to. 

 

Lisa, ETA: apparently answering the original question in a thread that has evolved elsewhere. But I had fun thinking about some of the great moments on this board. 

 

[Rosie_0801]

I'm sorry, I'm confused. Did I offend?

 

My point was that if I want advice from people with my worldview I ask Christians.

 

Sure. But the other side of the coin there is excluding non-Christians is like saying "You ain't qualified to care about me, so bugger off."

 

You might think that sometimes, or all the time, and be happy with it. But on the other hand, you might now be thinking, "Woah, I didn't mean it that way!" and choose to use your exclusionary powers a bit more sparingly. Hugs is hugs if you're in a rubbish mood.

[Jan in SC]

I'm sorry, I'm confused. Did I offend?

 

My point was that if I want advice from people with my worldview I ask Christians.

I think the point is that maybe your could listen to all the advice and then filter for yourself. Unless you know these people IRL, you have no idea if they are Christian or not. You could be taking advice from a purple striped Martian.

 

I don't think this has to be so hard. The board is provided with kindness and we spend more time arguing like young children than anything else. I realize there are forms of advertising throughout the board, but you aren't paying for a membership.

 

Perhaps it would be easier to call people on rudeness and then let it go. You might find that the purple striped Martian has the best idea to help you teach your child a Bible verse. The majority of people don't use personal attacks, even in religious questions.

 

ETA- I'm typing from my phone, and without my glasses.

[Slache]

I only have three things to say:

 

I don't like the use of "My People Only" threads on the boards. I think people should pm, form a social group, or seek out enclaves that already have political or social membership requirements. Keep this place an inclusive salon. My two cents on that.

 

The other thing is that I don't want this place to be for My Kind only, and I can't go find somewhere else that only has My Kind, because even I can't define me. I mean, I know my faith, my politics, and my opinions but if there were another person who held all the same ones I probably wouldn't like her. LOL

 

I'm sick of camps. Sick of division. It's all over the country! Why we put up with it, I have no idea. And all the people here or anywhere who whine about the presence of unwelcome people in their conversations need to grow up. Out here in the adult world we should take people one at a time, be objective about disagreement when possible, avoid grudge holding from one thread to the next, and find some tolerance.

 

But I don't think of Christians as my special group on the boards. If I have a question that I want examined from a particular worldview I state that.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

But I don't think of Christians as my special group on the boards. If I have a question that I want examined from a particular worldview I state that.

I don't think that's the way to learn new things and broaden your mind but whatever. The offense comes when you resent the input of people whom you don't identify as worth hearing on that issue, and complain about their audacity to speak to you, in other threads all over the boards.

 

That's what we call "othering" and it's not nice.