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Meaningful chores and reaponsibilities for kids- aka: I want a farm


DesertBlossom
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We are listening to Farmer Boy. And we recently listened to Little Britches. I am just shocked at how much those 9 year old boys could do. (and also, their mothers!)

 

I think about my own impulsive, wild 9 year old boy and think about how much he would thrive with real, meaningful responsibilities. When he's bored, he tends to irritate and tease those around him and he just doesn't have that many outlets around here. We love camping and going to the mountains bc all my boys can roam freely and get dirty and enjoy the sunshine. At home I feel like I struggle with ways to keep them occupied. And somehow taking out the garbage doesn't seem to build character and encourage responsibility the same way raising a piglet and selling it later does, you know?

 

DH grew up on a ranch and one of his chores was bringing in the cows on horseback. He loved his childhood. Now we're stuck in the city and I long for something different. For more opportunities and experiences.

 

Is there a way to get those kind of experiences in the city in a regular neighborhood? We have chickens. If we had more space I'd build another coop so he could raise his own chicks to sell. But we don't.

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Cooking? I think 9yo is about the age where you can teach a kid to make a simple dinner (and then over time more complicated things, with less supervision from you). If he were to cook dinner one night a week I'd call that a meaningful chore, even if at first he needed supervision/help.

 

I think taking out trash, emptying the dishwasher, etc, are meaningful too, but I get what you mean. They don't have an end product, and require little skill.

 

Sewing things would be another option, or woodworking, or (helping out with) home repair kind of things.

 

ETA: being a mother's helper/tutoring? Obviously, he wouldn't know enough to tutor much, but he'd probably be able to help a 6yo with addition and subtraction flashcards or games or something. And he could look after one or two babies or toddlers while their mom does something else (maybe a fellow homeschooling mom with young kids who has trouble helping the oldest with algebra while junior wants her attention?). Would be a great preparation for babysitting, which he's too young for at this point, but which could be a nice way to earn some cash in a couple of years (Red Cross babysitter training starts at 11yo, iirc, and I'd be much more likely to let an 11yo babysit if he'd been a mother's helper before than if he had no experience). Oh, and people do tend to pay mother's helpers a little bit as well, afaik... but not much, I think.

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Are there any elderly people in his church or your neighborhood he could be of help to? Getting the mail, taking the trash out to the curb, weeding flower beds, trimming shrubs, sweeping sidewalks or climbing on a chair to change a lightbulb would be a HUGE help to someone else. Those mundane chores that young, healthy people take for granted are so difficult for elderly or handicapped folks to do.

 

When he does those chores at home,...well, there are probably a few other people who could also do those chores. however, doing them for an older, infirm person, now that is valuable.

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I'm hoping someone will chime in with a link to a blog about how and why we are failing boys - and a lot of it had to do with the same reasoning as yours.  They need danger, they need responsibility, they need to do something difficult but meaningful, not to sit still.  I read it a few months ago and now I can't seem to find it.

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Have you looked into your city ordinances to see what animals they specifically allow and do not allow?  I was surprised to find out our city allows pigs.  Someone also told me about a person they knew in my city who had goats.  One goat got out and Animal Control caught it, brought it back to its owner, and basically just said, "You know you aren't suppose to have this, but just do a better job of keeping him penned."  That was the end of that.  We've also raised chickens and rabbits on our lot before.  Our kids absolutely loved it, which is what made us stop raising them so we can focus on what we need to accomplish to move to the country instead.  Could you add rabbits to the mix?  Their poo is great for a garden, if you have one of those.

I miss living on the farm.  I long for it again and I desperately desire for my kids to be raised on one before they grow up.  I feel your pain.

I hope others have better options for you! 

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We loved Little Britches and I wish it had rubbed off more here.

 

 

Our regional parks district allows kids to help with volunteer work. Some of it is quite physically demanding (trail maintenance, building animal habitats, etc) Do you have anything like that?

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I know a couple people with goats. One was one street over and they had goats for years until someone complained. The other people have their whole front yard turned into an alfalfa field.

 

I am trying to talk DH into filling in our old pool instead of paying the money to resurface it. That would give us the space we need for an adequate garden or other animals. Any good sized property here is very expensive. I would love an acre, but that's not likely to happen.

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It really is nice to have a farm.  We only have 5 acres but I can send my kids out to earn extra money by scooping extra horse poop, cleaning out the chicken coop, etc.  

 

Do you have any nature preserves or parks near you that offer programs for kids his age.....even clean up and work bees?  Our parks do that.

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I know a couple people with goats. One was one street over and they had goats for years until someone complained. The other people have their whole front yard turned into an alfalfa field.

 

I am trying to talk DH into filling in our old pool instead of paying the money to resurface it. That would give us the space we need for an adequate garden or other animals. Any good sized property here is very expensive. I would love an acre, but that's not likely to happen.

 

If you have a pool you're not interested in using, have you considered backyard aquaponics?  You could raise fish to eat (like having a pond on a farm) and grow vegetables over it, too.  You should definitely look into that.  It would be labor intensive for your boys to make sure everything was in working order.  There is a learning curve, but from those I know who do it, it eventually becomes second nature.  I think that's a great way to utilize the pool and put your kids to work.  :)

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If you have a pool you're not interested in using, have you considered backyard aquaponics? You could raise fish to eat (like having a pond on a farm) and grow vegetables over it, too. You should definitely look into that. It would be labor intensive for your boys to make sure everything was in working order. There is a learning curve, but from those I know who do it, it eventually becomes second nature. I think that's a great way to utilize the pool and put your kids to work. :)

Ha! I've heard of that. It sounds complicated. My husband would probably love it but I would end up taking care of it. I think I would rather use the space differently.

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We live in town and did meat rabbits until recently. Rabbits don't take up much space or smell if maintained properly. 

 

Quail (for eggs and meat) is another small space animal.

 

Container gardening is fun. One for each kid?

 

Serving others, there are lots of neat things that fall in this category

 

Yard care, snow shoveling, and leaf removal, pet and house care for neighbors traveling business (we're leaving for 10 days in July and I'll need someone to water my garden!)

 

Paracord or other handicraft business

 

Making kefir or kombucha for the family and selling the multiplying grains and scobies 

 

4-H!

 

 

 

 

 

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Well, we have a farm, but I don't think you need one -- or need to try to imitate one -- to provide meaningful work for children.  The thing about working a farm boils down to this  -- it isn't about you.  You get to understand that in everything you are doing.  Caring for animals is about meeting their needs -- not about you.  Working land is about what's best for the soil and crops -- not about you.  So, you come to understand that what you do is always primarily for something or someone else.  Even the end products -- they aren't (all) for you.  You feed other people.  I think this is a good thing -- to learn that it isn't all about you.  I highly value that ethic and encourage it.  But, it isn't just a farm kid thing. 

 

There is a lot that children have to offer in the way of meaningful work for others.  It is unfortunate that more organizations who need volunteers don't see this and encourage it.  You often have to seek these things out and make your own opportunities.  Are there senior centres that could use a hand?  How about a food bank, soup kitchen or thrift store? How about older or physically challenged neighbours who need lawn care, snow shoveled, someone to pick up their groceries for them, walk and/or bathe their dogs, etc.? Just some thoughts... 

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If you have space for a garden, I think that's a great thing for a 9 year old to do.  They can till, plant, tend, harvest, cook.  A surplus can be sold at farmers' markets....

 

Any home improvement projects that need to be done?  Painting shutters?  Staining a deck?  Stuff like that I would absolutely outsource to a 9 year old boy. It doesn't have to be perfect and they can learn a skill. 

 

I have a friend who is teaching her son to change the oil in the car. He's 7.  He can't do it independently for another few years, but once he's 10 she anticipates that it will be his sole job (maybe before then; he's a smart, mature kid).  

 

I think the more physically active the responsibility is, the better, too.  So unloading the dishwasher is a daily chore that must be taught, but the more digging, hauling, and so on, the better.  Raking the leaves is nice, but I think it's less purpose-driven.  Something that is merely maintenance is less rewarding in many ways than something that is a larger task to tackle, if that makes sense.  Good for you for brainstorming this!!

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