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50 minutes ago, Another Lynn said:

(((Junie)))

Head cold here.  Bleh.  We're doing the minimum - all outside class work and math and instrument practice.   

Points for quoting self.  Just wanted to add that dh is mostly? recovered, 3 of us are sick, and two have not gotten it.  (And hoping they don't!)  

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So. . . one of my brothers is writing a book.  He sent me the first chapter yesterday to proof.  I read it last night.  No spelling or grammar errors - which would have been easy and nonthreatening to correct.  But . . . it's boring.  And not well written.  And I just don't see how he's going to react well to my suggestions for changes in the actual content.  This is my Aspie-ish brother.  It's non-fiction about his life growing up.  So pretty important to him. 

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33 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

So. . . one of my brothers is writing a book.  He sent me the first chapter yesterday to proof.  I read it last night.  No spelling or grammar errors - which would have been easy and nonthreatening to correct.  But . . . it's boring.  And not well written.  And I just don't see how he's going to react well to my suggestions for changes in the actual content.  This is my Aspie-ish brother.  It's non-fiction about his life growing up.  So pretty important to him. 

I would leave it alone, unless I could come up with a non-corrective way to phrase it.  "Do you remember how it felt when ... happened?" Or "Readers might also like to hear about ... " ?  I don't know.  I'm not a writer or an editor, nor do I play one on TV.  Critter?

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33 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

So. . . one of my brothers is writing a book.  He sent me the first chapter yesterday to proof.  I read it last night.  No spelling or grammar errors - which would have been easy and nonthreatening to correct.  But . . . it's boring.  And not well written.  And I just don't see how he's going to react well to my suggestions for changes in the actual content.  This is my Aspie-ish brother.  It's non-fiction about his life growing up.  So pretty important to him. 

If he's writing it just for himself, it may not be necessary for him to write it particularly well. Depends on what he intends to do with it. If he wants to publish it as a memoir, he may want to pick up some books specifically about memoir writing, or read memoirs to get an idea of what parts of his life were the most interesting and had the most impact on him. It's a little like fiction--you do have to take the boring parts out and focus mostly on what changed you as a person. 

If it's the first draft, I think you are safe saying, "you've made a good start." Like anything else, it's going to take multiple rewrites to get it right.

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I think there can be a tendency in fiction and non-fiction to write what happened. The trick is learning to write what happened "to". Doesn't matter if it's a fictional character or a real person, stories are best when they are happening to someone and affecting them, instead of just being a recitation of events.

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18 minutes ago, Critterfixer said:

If he's writing it just for himself, it may not be necessary for him to write it particularly well. Depends on what he intends to do with it. If he wants to publish it as a memoir, he may want to pick up some books specifically about memoir writing, or read memoirs to get an idea of what parts of his life were the most interesting and had the most impact on him. It's a little like fiction--you do have to take the boring parts out and focus mostly on what changed you as a person. 

If it's the first draft, I think you are safe saying, "you've made a good start." Like anything else, it's going to take multiple rewrites to get it right.

I am pretty sure that he wants to publish. I am not his first editor. But he spent almost an entire chapter describing our family’s first home in Japan with an Aspie’s attention to minute detail.  He did throw a couple of family stories in there but since they really had nothing to do with the description that it was right smack in the middle of, it is a bit jarring. 

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2 hours ago, Another Lynn said:

Our old lab has cancer and he has come to the end of his fight.  He's laying down in the yard and can't get up, (but wagging his tail in spite of it).  Dh is sitting with him.  The hospice vet will come in a little while.  He has been a good dog.  ❤️😢

I am so sorry, Lynn!!😢

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36 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I am pretty sure that he wants to publish. I am not his first editor. But he spent almost an entire chapter describing our family’s first home in Japan with an Aspie’s attention to minute detail.  He did throw a couple of family stories in there but since they really had nothing to do with the description that it was right smack in the middle of, it is a bit jarring. 

Yep. It could be tough to get him to tone back on the description and focus on the stories, but one thing he can do is tie the description to the story of him, and how he felt about the home. Instead of trying to get all the family in there, just have him concentrate first on how the home affected him. Noticing in minute detail can be a good thing, as long as that attention to detail can be turned inward, and present a picture as the person experiences it. 

It may not be necessary for one person to describe, let's say, a closet with slatted doors. But when that closet is in your room as a child, and you leave the light on, but it still doesn't stop the monsters from walking out in your clothes every night, the detail on that closet door becomes very important. Challenge him to bring the description into focus through the lens of his experience.

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The dogs vaccines are up to date. We have more boxes than we need. We finished the last 2 things of school that we were supposed to do Thursday so we can pack it. I need to deposit a check and go to Wal-mart. I never go to Wal-Mart. The Wal-Mart. We need to do some baking, laundry, and finish packing. We're running out of furniture to sit on.

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I just got up from a nap.  I never nap but I was tired, and chilled, and achy.   I'm supposed to have tech tuesday tonight (makeup from last week's snow) and I bailed.  I woke up from my nap and have a fever and just feel so icky.    I don't think its anything beyond a nasty cold but that's feeling bad enough.  I think I've been holding it off for a week or so and now it's hit.

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So, in the assortment of responses, they have a little trophy thing. And I've always used that as "you get a prize" type of response. I'm using my regular computer now and apparently it's "Thank-you". Why do you give a trophy to someone as a "thank you"? I'm still using it as "you get a prize."

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36 minutes ago, Another Lynn said:

A whole hour?  What are you guys doing?  Slash?  Are you packed?  Are the kids still singing?  

Well, I cleaned my kitchen, picked another bouquet of daffodils, scoured Pinterest for more gallery wall ideas. I've had a relatively productive afternoon. I need to make banana bread now.

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