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55 minutes ago, Paige said:

I can't remember if I told y'all (because tired) but I have to make Baby an appointment with an allergist for testing. Anyone done that with an infant? DD had the scratch test when she was 4 but I can't imagine trying that with a baby. I've been putting it off because it sounds like needles one way or the other. 

 

Probably just blood test.

 

I got the bloody booya, mate!

Edited by myblessings4
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Good morning!  I'm up!  I'm up!  People asking for stuff as soon as I move off the couch!  The nerve!  

!  

Laundry has been started.  I'm already tired.  Taking dgc to meet ddil at lunchtime.  

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Kids have been delivered to camp.  Dh helped me clean out the fridge.  :wub:  I cleaned out the litter box.  ITT break before I do the next thing.  :wub:

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(((Mr. Egao)))  Hope he recovers quickly from this injury.  That's so frustrating!

(((Paige)))  Nap!  Ibuprofen tonight for baby?

(((Critter))) Stay in bed!  

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All of these elderly care threads have me really wanting to figure things out. I asked SIL if she had ever thought about it and she said we have to take her parents because her fiance is taking his parents. I told her I was an only child and we have no other options for my father and she said we'll talk about it when the time comes, we have plenty of time. I said we should figure it out soon because we might not have plenty of time and she doesn't want to. I just wanted to get the bug out there so we can talk about it in person but she seems pretty adamant that we're taking care of her parents. We decided six months into our marriage that MIL was not moving in with us. I don't know why she thinks we're going to now.

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2 minutes ago, Slache said:

All of these elderly care threads have me really wanting to figure things out. I asked SIL if she had ever thought about it and she said we have to take her parents because her fiance is taking his parents. I told her I was an only child and we have no other options for my father and she said we'll talk about it when the time comes, we have plenty of time. I said we should figure it out soon because we might not have plenty of time and she doesn't want to. I just wanted to get the bug out there so we can talk about it in person but she seems pretty adamant that we're taking care of her parents. We decided six months into our marriage that MIL was not moving in with us. I don't know why she thinks we're going to now.

 

You can "take care of them" without having them in your home.  And you're young.  Things will change.  We had planned to take in my parents and dh parents.  3 of the 4 passed away before it became an issue.  The 4th wouldn't live with us with kids in the house if we even tried to force the issue, and is in a care facility near the 2 dsil.   We had big plans because we wanted none of them in a facility.  God took care of the details.

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1 minute ago, myblessings4 said:

 

You can "take care of them" without having them in your home.  And you're young.  Things will change.  We had planned to take in my parents and dh parents.  3 of the 4 passed away before it became an issue.  The 4th wouldn't live with us with kids in the house if we even tried to force the issue, and is in a care facility near the 2 dsil.   We had big plans because we wanted none of them in a facility.  God took care of the details.

If my MIL died today FIL needs to go somewhere today. I feel a responsibility to figure out where. I will not take care of two so if we take him in my father has nothing. I want plans in place.

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2 minutes ago, Slache said:

If my MIL died today FIL needs to go somewhere today. I feel a responsibility to figure out where. I will not take care of two so if we take him in my father has nothing. I want plans in place.

 

Why not two?  It's like having twins.  ?  And if she died today, theoretically dsil could take dfil until his parents needed help.  That's a lot of years to try to figure out something you really can't figure out.  We even had my mom and stepdad to the point of buying a house with us, that had a level for them, and she backed out.  People change their minds about things.  My dad was going to move out to Texas to follow us.  He died.  Things happen and things change.  I'm all for planning different scenarios, but you can't plan it definitively.

Edited by myblessings4
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Regarding elder care:

My own health is not good enough to take care of someone else who is medically fragile.

My dmil passed away many years ago.  I would be willing for dfil to live with us, but he won't.  He has a lot of family support where he lives now.

My father and step mother also passed away many years ago.

My step-father is in poor health.  I would not be able to take care of him

My mother is in ok health but I know that with our personalities it would not be a good idea for my mom to live with me.  My sister also knows that and (hopefully) would be willing to take her in if need be.  (My sister is much more tolerant of her than I am; also, she has no children to take care of.)

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Slache -- My dh is an only child, but my dfil has siblings who look out for him.

Does your dfil have siblings who might be able to help take care of him if the time comes that he needs someone else?

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Friend has started having contractions, too far apart for hospital, 3 kids under 5 at home, hubby at work and won't come home unless it's time for the hospital. DS and I are off to help out, leaving DD resting at home with a minor tummy ache.

Slache, I totally agree... it's stressful to think about caring for my mom. I know she doesn't have enough saved to take care of her once she stops working, and I'd really love to have something specific hammered out. Big bro does NOT want to think about it right now though.

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Dh and I have discussed taking care of our parents, but it seems that dh’s brother has planned to have my in-laws move in with them in Indianapolis if and when we can get them to move - hopefully next summer. They will likely need full-time nursing before too long. 

My parents are both doing very well, but I expect that if they need to move in with someone, they will want to live with my sister and her family. 

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24 minutes ago, myblessings4 said:

Why not two?  It's like having twins. 

Because of my health. I have ups and downs but I definitely have downs! And parents are not babies. My in-laws lie, steal, break things because they're angry with me, use my children for manipulation... I would rather have septuplets then one of them!

19 minutes ago, Junie said:

Regarding elder care:

My own health is not good enough to take care of someone else who is medically fragile.

Yep yep!

18 minutes ago, Junie said:

Slache -- My dh is an only child, but my dfil has siblings who look out for him.

Does your dfil have siblings who might be able to help take care of him if the time comes that he needs someone else?

Nope.

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MIL is demanding we come every Christmas and she gets to come whenever she wants. So much fun.

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2 minutes ago, Slache said:

MIL is demanding we come every Christmas and she gets to come whenever she wants. So much fun.

 

Rule 1:  Christmas morning is always spent at home.

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1 minute ago, myblessings4 said:

 

Rule 1:  Christmas morning is always spent at home.

Love this. I do want to extend some grace for grandparents. Because they're grandparents. 

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I'm dying to text her "Maybe if you didn't feel the need to control every little thing we wouldn't feel the need to be so far out of your control." I'm not going to because there would be no point, but man do I want to!

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Good morning.   I hope that this morning isn't a sign of how today is going to go. . .    I got my clothes together.  I had two shirts and no pants.  I got my breakfast together.  I then couldn't find it.  I looked everywhere for it.  It was right on the table. 

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36 minutes ago, Slache said:

Love this. I do want to extend some grace for grandparents. Because they're grandparents. 

 

Fwiw, when thr boys were little and dh was in the air force then army, so we were all over thr place, we spent every other Christmas with family in Virginia, and usually on the opposite ones, some family came to us.  I loved going there for Christmas, though, so didn't mind.  My brother and sil spent every other Christmas and the opposite thanksgivings with family in Virginia, but the Christmas visit would work around them waking up Christmas morning in their own house.

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Dd7 had a meltdown just before lunch.

"I forgot to eat breakfast.  Waah!"

I told her she could add a granola bar to her lunch and have breakfast and lunch at the same time.

She smiled and thought it was a good idea.

No wonder there was so much drama this morning between her and dd10...

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1 hour ago, Slache said:

MIL is demanding we come every Christmas and she gets to come whenever she wants. So much fun.

No. Not unless she lives in the same town, because you get to open presents in your own home first, then hang around for awhile and eat junky special Christmas breakfast food things, and *then* go to Grandma's house in the late afternoon.

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2 hours ago, Susan in TN said:

Krissi, I’m praying that arctic blast rolls in soon for you!

Lynn, you enjoying your fortress of solitude yet?

It is the most awesome thing that has happened to me in a while.  My house is SO quiet.  It's beautiful.  I could be empty nest now and I think it would be some length of time before I would be sorry.  ?

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Slache, you need to think about you and your immediate family first - whether it's Christmas, In-law visits, or elder care.  Wanting to talk to SIL about it is just leaving yourself vulnerable to doing things you shouldn't get sucked into doing.  You don't have the health, the bandwidth, or the resources.  Having compassion doesn't automatically make you capable or super human.  If I asked you to drive, what would you say?  You would say no way because you know you can't do it.  It is the same.    

I don't know anything about long-term care insurance - does anyone know if that's a good idea in situations where there may not be enough assets to use for care or too many assets to qualify for assistance?  Are policies expensive?  

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1 hour ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I had a "couldn't breathe or swallow" incident in my car on the way to picking up dd.  I haven't had one of those in a long time.  I'm ok now. 

(((Jean)))

46 minutes ago, Ellie said:

No. Not unless she lives in the same town, because you get to open presents in your own home first, then hang around for awhile and eat junky special Christmas breakfast food things, and *then* go to Grandma's house in the late afternoon.

Yes.

39 minutes ago, Another Lynn said:

Slache, you need to think about you and your immediate family first - whether it's Christmas, In-law visits, or elder care.  Wanting to talk to SIL about it is just leaving yourself vulnerable to doing things you shouldn't get sucked into doing.  You don't have the health, the bandwidth, or the resources.  Having compassion doesn't automatically make you capable or super human.  If I asked you to drive, what would you say?  You would say no way because you know you can't do it.  It is the same.    

But she wants me to drive!

Yes though. Yes, yes, yes.

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Slache--my experiences from family who have similar operating procedures is that any time they can get a rise out of you (by disagreeing with you, telling you you're wrong, or attempting to control your behavior), they are "winning" in their minds. They may not even be conscious of it, but it feeds future bad behavior from them.  Frankly, it's irrelevant to talk about Christmas right now, because a decision about Christmas now and all future Christmases doesn't need to be made.

A few other points:

1. You've had a seizure in the last three months. This automatically would preclude you from having a driver's license in most states....Oregon & Texas included.

2. Caring for family can mean putting them in a nursing home somewhat near you (or even far away) and visiting at an interval that you choose.  

3. Christmas is lovely in San Antonio.  You may want to visit in the summer instead.

All of which I post to remind you that you have good reasons for the decisions you've made in the past about what you choose to do or not do.  Don't get drawn into her world of crazy!

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53 minutes ago, Another Lynn said:

Slache, you need to think about you and your immediate family first - whether it's Christmas, In-law visits, or elder care.  Wanting to talk to SIL about it is just leaving yourself vulnerable to doing things you shouldn't get sucked into doing.  You don't have the health, the bandwidth, or the resources.  Having compassion doesn't automatically make you capable or super human.  If I asked you to drive, what would you say?  You would say no way because you know you can't do it.  It is the same.    

I don't know anything about long-term care insurance - does anyone know if that's a good idea in situations where there may not be enough assets to use for care or too many assets to qualify for assistance?  Are policies expensive?  

LTC insurance is incredibly expensive.  I have family that is using a LTC insurance policy right now to care for dementia care.  The specialized care facility runs just under $9000/month.  Their LTC policy only pays out $150/day.  Most basic nursing homes in the area charge about $260/day.  The problem is fairly obvious---there's still a huge amount due for her care even after the LTC insurance policy pays out.  It didn't even occur to them when they bought the policy in the late 80s that a cap at $150/day would be a problem.  Most homes then were running $90/day or so.

Honestly, if you're more than 5 years out from needing care, and there aren't enough assets to warrant doing alternate things to protect the estate for future heirs....it would be to have a brief consult with a financial analyst specializing in these areas to talk about whether you should try make different decisions to preserve assets in anticipation of a spend down.  Even if you're within the 5 year look back period, things can be rearranged. As a really weird example, my friend's family tweaked their non-countable assets. Because you are allowed to preserve the marital home, one car, and basic household goods......my friend's family traded in their basic Buick for a very expensive classic sports car that was likely to hold value in the few years remaining of the spouse's life.  The vehicle could then be sold and some cash was preserved. Likewise, a newer fancier home was purchased (under the $543k limit). Because every financial picture is different and because state exemption rules vary, I recommend working with a professional....but there are ways to preserve assets in anticipation of a medicaid spend down.

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End of summer Edpo panic...

This weekend I:

*got Economics planned out

*ordered Chemistry lab supplies and sketched out the first six weeks

This week I need to plan out:

*English III

*Pre-Calc (pacing, problem numbers into book, etc.)

I need to read:

*1/3 of the chemistry book as a reminder

*2 of the literature selections

*1/3 of HoRW

I'm running out of time to get everything done.  

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3 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

End of summer Edpo panic...

This weekend I:

*got Economics planned out

*ordered Chemistry lab supplies and sketched out the first six weeks

This week I need to plan out:

*English III

*Pre-Calc (pacing, problem numbers into book, etc.)

I need to read:

*1/3 of the chemistry book as a reminder

*2 of the literature selections

*1/3 of HoRW

I'm running out of time to get everything done.  

 

Prairiewindmomma, I resemble this remark. A week ago I saw a post from someone referring to it as the "end of summer" and I was like, "What? It's July, that's the middle of summer!" and then today I was like, "Oh... each month has only 4 weeks in it... that means I'm about 5 weeks out from starting a new *&@%$!# school year."

I need to:
-skim all assigned reading books, make up word study lists for each, make Context worksheet template
-order books... with money... that we don't have...
-get to know Physics for the Logic Stage, GWTM, Argument Builder, Reading Like a Historian
-script approx. 1,000,000 BFSU lessons
-purchase reams of paper to begin printing out all the PDFs
-see if Grandma has a spare typewriter for dysgraphic DS to type his worksheet responses

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1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Slache--my experiences from family who have similar operating procedures is that any time they can get a rise out of you (by disagreeing with you, telling you you're wrong, or attempting to control your behavior), they are "winning" in their minds. They may not even be conscious of it, but it feeds future bad behavior from them.  Frankly, it's irrelevant to talk about Christmas right now, because a decision about Christmas now and all future Christmases doesn't need to be made.

A few other points:

1. You've had a seizure in the last three months. This automatically would preclude you from having a driver's license in most states....Oregon & Texas included.

2. Caring for family can mean putting them in a nursing home somewhat near you (or even far away) and visiting at an interval that you choose.  

3. Christmas is lovely in San Antonio.  You may want to visit in the summer instead.

All of which I post to remind you that you have good reasons for the decisions you've made in the past about what you choose to do or not do.  Don't get drawn into her world of crazy!

As the matriarch of the family she feels like she gets to make all decisions until she dies. To this day she will tell us that we are not allowed to do things and then threaten to punish us if we do them. She told me that if I homeschool the kids she will lie to the state to have the kids taken away so she can raise them and ensure they have a proper education. Her mom ran the family until she died and she wants to do the same. Right now she is laying the ground rules saying we are only allowed to move to Texas if...

Matt is handling the situation well.

1. I didn't know this.

2. Yes.

3. We have the intention of sending Matt and the kids up for a week to the camper every summer so I can get stuff done around the house and several other plans. I am considering offering to host Christmas in SA for several reasons. We are not verbalizing that right now.

Thank you for the reminder. :wub:

46 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

LTC insurance is incredibly expensive.  I have family that is using a LTC insurance policy right now to care for dementia care.  The specialized care facility runs just under $9000/month.  Their LTC policy only pays out $150/day.  Most basic nursing homes in the area charge about $260/day.  The problem is fairly obvious---there's still a huge amount due for her care even after the LTC insurance policy pays out.  It didn't even occur to them when they bought the policy in the late 80s that a cap at $150/day would be a problem.  Most homes then were running $90/day or so.

Honestly, if you're more than 5 years out from needing care, and there aren't enough assets to warrant doing alternate things to protect the estate for future heirs....it would be to have a brief consult with a financial analyst specializing in these areas to talk about whether you should try make different decisions to preserve assets in anticipation of a spend down.  Even if you're within the 5 year look back period, things can be rearranged. As a really weird example, my friend's family tweaked their non-countable assets. Because you are allowed to preserve the marital home, one car, and basic household goods......my friend's family traded in their basic Buick for a very expensive classic sports car that was likely to hold value in the few years remaining of the spouse's life.  The vehicle could then be sold and some cash was preserved. Likewise, a newer fancier home was purchased (under the $543k limit). Because every financial picture is different and because state exemption rules vary, I recommend working with a professional....but there are ways to preserve assets in anticipation of a medicaid spend down.

Svengo.

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I’m back. It was an interesting morning. Not bad interesting. Just kinda different. A very small and kinda dysfunctional church situation in a very high poverty section of town. But the kids were well behaved. Most of the time the volunteers from my church just kind of stood around, but we asked how our presence could be best utilized and hopefully tomorrow will be better. We just didn’t want to take over or step on toes or anything, so we all kind of hung back, but as the morning wore on we kind of figure Out where we would fit in.

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I'm home!  Dgc have been returned,  last load of laundry is on the line, dishwasher has been unloaded and reloaded and started, beach towels have been folded, blankets have been folded and put back in the closet, and litter has been scooped.  I stopped by the butcher shop and post office on my way home.

I just remembered I need to do payroll!  Better get on that!

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5 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I had a "couldn't breathe or swallow" incident in my car on the way to picking up dd.  I haven't had one of those in a long time.  I'm ok now. 

They say the haze is from the Carr fire and should be reduced tomorrow due to different wondering conditions. I sure hope so. My sixth grader is allergic to smoke. We can't go out in smoke like this. Maybe we'll go to the mall.

 

I don't know if your issue is related but for her, air quality creates bizarre symptoms.

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Getting gobs done today. 

The not breathing/ not swallowing thing is a laryngeal spasm - the muscles in there seize up. I stopped having them when I went Celiac level gf. I had gf oats this morning. I wonder if they were really gf?  

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Contamination seems like a huge risk with something like oats that may be processed in huge facilities. I am sorry. ?

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If you used BRM products.....Bob's Red Mill has a gluten free facility and they batch test for gluten coming into the factory from the farm and again after packaging. I'm not saying you couldn't have been possibly contaminated from the oats, but do you react to other gluten free grains? You could get contaminated from that as they only do a high pressure air blow followed by discarding the first 30 lb of product.

Fun things I learned from dealing with dd's nut allergy....

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I'm here. Got some Latin done. I don't want to cook dinner. I don't want to do anything. I hate summer. The sky is brown.

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I got a package. 

 

 

CLE

 

 

Math and Language Arts and Reading!

 

 

That is all.

 

I still don't want to do anything.

 

I still hate summer.

 

 

The sky is still brown!!!!

 

Bleh!

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2 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Getting gobs done today. 

The not breathing/ not swallowing thing is a laryngeal spasm - the muscles in there seize up. I stopped having them when I went Celiac level gf. I had gf oats this morning. I wonder if they were really gf?  

The more I read, the worse oats look. :/ Recently I saw an article about the difference between oats that were possibly contaminated and then mechanically/optically decontaminated to a passable (on average) level and packaged as gf (like those in Cheerios products, which are not marked gf in Canada after some pressure up there) and on the other hand, "purity protocol" oats that were tracked from a wheat-free farm--which I would have to mail-order from Montana. I'm considering changing what I tell other people they can give DS (right now: "any plain fruit or vegetable or any packaged food marked gf") because that would eliminate a lot of granola bar-type options.

Keep in mind that you must continue breathing. Rules are rules.

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11 hours ago, Paige said:

I can't remember if I told y'all (because tired) but I have to make Baby an appointment with an allergist for testing. Anyone done that with an infant? DD had the scratch test when she was 4 but I can't imagine trying that with a baby. I've been putting it off because it sounds like needles one way or the other. 

I think DS was under 2, but I’m not sure exact age.  They took a lot of blood.  He nursed a lot that day.  Then again, he nursed a lot every day.  ?

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1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said:

If you used BRM products.....Bob's Red Mill has a gluten free facility and they batch test for gluten coming into the factory from the farm and again after packaging. I'm not saying you couldn't have been possibly contaminated from the oats, but do you react to other gluten free grains? You could get contaminated from that as they only do a high pressure air blow followed by discarding the first 30 lb of product.

Fun things I learned from dealing with dd's nut allergy....

What does gluten have to do with nut allergy? I’m confused.  What do I need to know that I don’t? Gah!  I’m gonna kill my kid?  Gah!

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