Slache Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 ((Bookie)) It's okay. Keep getting the apartment ready. He MUST go to counseling. It's non-negotiable. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 He came to Dad's yesterday and we talked. I caved. We're home. It's probably a mistake to believe him, but maybe he is taking this seriously? I probably sound like a fool. Maybe I am one. Please don't hate me. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I certainly don't hate you and I understand going back. I probably would have gone sooner. Others will have better advice than I do. Hold him to the counseling. We love you and we're here for you. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Are you making it yourself? I’ve never thought it was oily, but I refrigerate it and skim off the hard layer of fat from the top before I use it. This can also be done with store-bought. Pour the stuff into a wide-mouthed container or a bowl, chill it, then pull off any fat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Bookie, if you are going to try to make this work I suggest that you require a mental health evaluation for him and compliance with any treatment indicated. I don't know enough of your situation to know what similarities and differences there may be, but I'll tell you a bit about my marriage. My Dh has some great qualities; we share similar values, religious perspective, family and life goals. At his best he is gentle, sincere, funny, and humble. But he struggles with chronic anxiety and depression, and they can turn him into a demon. Irritability is the most common symptom of depression in men, and from my perspective it is a huge symptom of anxiety as well. When his brain is not functioning correctly he is emotionally volatile and can be verbally and emotionally abusive towards me and the children. I'm still married to him because he doesn't want to be that way AND because he has been willing to do what it takes to take care of himself so that his illness does not constantly sabotage our relationship. We've had many dark moments over the years, but as long as he keeps working with the doctors and therapists we have more good periods than bad. We go to counseling together at this point, not really as marriage counseling but more as therapy for him with me as support person and occasional reality checker (sometimes the therapist needs to know stuff beyond what Dh perceives or volunteers). He did a sleep study a couple of years ago and using a BiPAP machine so that he gets decent sleep helps immensely. He has been on medication for 15 years. He still wishes he could do without but every attempt to wean off so far has resulted in a fairly rapid deterioration right back to suicidality (which was where he was before starting medication). With counseling and medication and support he has been able to stay functional, hold down a job to support the family, and be a decent husband and father. Its not ideal, it leaves a lot on my shoulders, but we have a positive marriage relationship and he has a mostly positive parenting relationship with the kids (this part depends on me doing most of the actual heavy lifting of parenting and being firm about boundaries when he is on edge). I've been deeply impressed by his willingness to keep fighting this battle. I'll delete this later so please don't quote. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Me too! And I would have done something about it a long time ago but dh and I disagree what that something is. I want a maintenance free shower stall. He wants to replace tile and glass with...... more tile and glass. :blink: Because that's really going to solve the problem. :rolleyes: :D The shower/tub surrounds in the Hampton Inn hotels I've stayed at are Corian, like my kitchen counters. I like Corian. I have been eyeing those, thinking that would be very helpful at home (no grout lines, just silicone seal at the corner seams where the walls meet). The hotels' surrounds come stamped with a nice design, too, so they have some of the appeal of tile without the grout. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Wally just knocked over the step stool (collapsed flat and leaning against the kitchen wall) and kept going with it taking a ride. Silly robot. Well, his namesake does like to collect stuff.... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 My jerk cat tried to kill me today. I was trying to give him the medicine that makes him less of a jerk and he lured me closer and closer to the stairs. Then the murderous fiend bolted down those stairs taking me with him. I fell like a 2 year old, hitting every step and rolling the whole way. But he didn’t succeed and now we aren’t friends. He won’t even take treats or catnip from me like I’m the one who tried to kill him! I have a few nasty bruises and my back hurts but considering the fall, it’s amazing how undead I am. And this was after Baby didn’t sleep last night until 7:30am today, and before Starbucks wouldn’t give me my cherry mocha, DD insisted on getting in trouble, and a defective water bottle leaked and made it look like I peed my pants in public. 😢 It hasn’t been the best day. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Perhaps your DH should dose the cat for a while. My cat took her medicine (in tuna) yesterday morning just fine (per her usual schedule, since she gets a daily dose of Cosequin that way), but didn't eat last night's dose for some reason. This is her antibiotic. If she isn't going to take it I'll have to cram it down her throat, plus it will be longer before the cone comes off. I must explain this to her today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Maybe a closet--it's not like I'm all that prolific. :D Gallery. Closets don't have good light. And you keep painting, so we need space for future acquisitions. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Go Critter! It’s yo birthday! Woot woot! *imagine me doing the cabbage patch* :confused1: What is "the cabbage patch"? All I can picture is that Spud image squishing up into fat cheeks and talking like a Muppet. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 What about consumable clothes? I hear they make edible underwear. :lol: The kids would laugh their heads off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Nope. Also: Currently taking applications for a stay at home parent. Must be able to drive kids aged 8 - 14 to 12 different activities. Also be able to simultaneously tutor 3 - 5 different math levels, three instruments, four world languages, attend performances for said activities, set up and maintain the family calendar, and clean the house while I'm working. Also join the PTSA and help people sort tee-shirts and sharpen pencils and set up the class valentines party among other things. Social butterflies and people who like to do random home improvements such as re-caulking the bathtub highly preferred. Must not eat a lot or demand vacations however, because this is a high cost of living area and we can't afford another non-working adult. College education highly desired as you should be a great example to the children and well-educated enough to guide them through a rigorous high school education and to college. Salary: $0. Benefits: Might be able to get you on the company insurance. Condescension from society at large guaranteed but I will really value your priceless contribution to our family. By priceless I mean, you won't get paid and you also will sacrifice the last bagel if we run out, because you put the kids first. Seriously though... help. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 He came to Dad's yesterday and we talked. I caved. We're home. It's probably a mistake to believe him, but maybe he is taking this seriously? I probably sound like a fool. Maybe I am one. Please don't hate me. I worry about you, but I don't hate you. :grouphug: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Bookie, :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: . Keep checking in here. Keep getting the apartment ready at your Dad's house, and consider keeping some cash funds and some clothing and things over there (quietly). Work for the best, but have contingency plans in case things go worse. Listen to the advice here. We come from different backgrounds, but often there are similarities in how to manage things. We will never judge you, and we ask that you don't judge yourself (and don't accept other people judging you). We are rooting for you. Maize, :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: ! Thank you for sharing. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Amazon Prime sucked me into a show called The Expanse. Then it said I had to pay to watch any of it past Season 1. DH remembered listening to the first book of the series on Audible, so now I have bought the first 3 books in the series -- I ordered paperback, thinking they would be small, but these are soft-cover of hardback size. I might curl up on the sofa and read a bunch today. Though my brain does say I need to make a phone call or two.... about something.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Maize, you are a hero. :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 He came to Dad's yesterday and we talked. I caved. We're home. It's probably a mistake to believe him, but maybe he is taking this seriously? I probably sound like a fool. Maybe I am one. Please don't hate me. No one hates you. We love you and care. :grouphug: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 (edited) :grouphug: Bookie. Nobody hates you, honey. You're doing your best, and that's all anybody can do. DH is going to the doctor later to see whether he has the flu. I've had COFFEE and I'm off to do the things. It's a love-and-care BOOYAH! for the ITT. :001_wub: Edited April 24, 2022 by 73349 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 :confused1: What is "the cabbage patch"? All I can picture is that Spud image squishing up into fat cheeks and talking like a Muppet. It was a dance. Here's some instructions... https://youtu.be/N4STZCPuhf0?t=1m59s 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 (edited) Good Morning!!!! COFFEE!!!☕ï¸â˜•ï¸â˜•ï¸â˜•ï¸â˜•ï¸â˜•ï¸ ( but I had to wait for it because I forgot to push the button last night before I went to bed😩😩) Friday!!ðŸ‘👠Nothing going on today!!ðŸ‘ðŸ‘ðŸ‘👠Critter’s having a fish fry?? I’ll be there!! ((Bookie)) You hang in there, gal!! We got your back, no matter what. Whitehawk, hope Mr. Whtehawk has a successful dr. Appt. and feels better soon!! ((Maize)) Spud, you need to video yourself doing that cabbage patch dance so we can all see what it looks like. 😜😜😜 Edited February 9, 2018 by KrissiK 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I may or may not have danced around the room squealing after I recovered from the shock. ETA: Requestabooyah! I got a request in my box, I jumped clean out of both my sox, I sent the pages out the gate, Now I get to write and wait. https://www.christiesrealestate.com/eng/lifestyles/private-islands No pressure, Critter. No pressure. Opps! No, wait! That's not the one! Here. Here's it is. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 We classed. I did more than get them resuming MCTLA -- basically we checked in on all subjects going to date, and looked at what we need to do to prepare for a "normal" school week starting Monday. I also told both to check with their Dad this weekend about their math. An hour more and I can make a phone call or two to be productive on the Dad Project. The rest of the time I get to curl up with a book, maybe nap. I'm calling off Park Day for us today. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 He came to Dad's yesterday and we talked. I caved. We're home. It's probably a mistake to believe him, but maybe he is taking this seriously? I probably sound like a fool. Maybe I am one. Please don't hate me. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: No judgment. Just love. I'll pray that everything works out well for you and the littles. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Dad says he's cleaning the apartment :wub: Your dad gets a squillion bonus points right there! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 DS last night: Mom, I'm eleven. My brain needs some down time to process all of this stuff. I think I need an iPad break. :LOL: 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 (edited) Capsule Wardrobe (Youtube link) Basically: Divide your clothes into groups for each season -- spring, summer, fall, winter Choose a couple of basic colors to build from -- black, navy, brown, etc. Choose accent colors that look good on you based on skin tone, hair color, etc. Get rid of everything else. edited to fix the link Edited February 9, 2018 by Junie 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 ((Bookie)) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Good morning. Both kids have been talking to me this morning. I love talking to my kids but really? Before breakfast? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Ds is registered for his last classes at this college. He now knows what classes will transfer (all to date) and what won’t and was able to choose classes that will transfer. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 DS last night: Mom, I'm eleven. My brain needs some down time to process all of this stuff. I think I need an iPad break. :LOL: What does he think happens at 47? 😂😂😂 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 What does he think happens at 47? 😂😂😂 I don't know! DH just texted, "There is a very crabby bear in the schoolroom that has to write 5 paragraphs." :nopity: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I was awake from 2:30-6:30. Thank you for sharing with me. Yes, that is a lot like what it is around here, except he hasn't been willing to do anything. He says he is now, that coming home to an empty house and spending a night alone is the reality check he needed, and he's willing to take it seriously. He's contacted a therapist already and made an appointment for marriage counseling for us for next week. I will also insist he have a mental health evaluation and a full physical and do what's required. He says he will. I want to believe him. I do not want to break up our family. I will leave again, if necessary. Dad says he's cleaning the apartment "for next time." To be honest, when Reader couldn't breathe due to smoke and dander and dust, I panicked. He showed up soon after. I don't know what would have happened if it hadn't been that progression of events. Doesn't matter, because we are where we are, but I'm being watchful. Thank you for the support. You're a good mom. Capsule Wardrobe (Youtube link) Basically: Divide your clothes into groups for each season -- spring, summer, fall, winter Choose a couple of basic colors to build from -- black, navy, brown, etc. Choose accent colors that look good on you based on skin tone, hair color, etc. Get rid of everything else. edited to fix the link What do I do if my only pair of pants has holes in the upper thighs and I don't look good in anything between November and March? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 What do I do if my only pair of pants has holes in the upper thighs and I don't look good in anything between November and March? Go shopping. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 This cold really isn’t bad in comparison to some colds/ viruses I have had but after a week I am more than ready for it to go away. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I was awake from 2:30-6:30. You're a good mom. What do I do if my only pair of pants has holes in the upper thighs and I don't look good in anything between November and March? Since you don’t wear pantz, does it really matter? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanalouwho Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 What does it mean to capsule your wardrobe? I pared it down to only things I love and actually wear. I ended up with 44 pieces that all go together to make outfits. I now have: 16 tops 9 bottoms (5 pants, 3 shorts, 1 skirt) 7 jackets/cardigans (this is probably too many considering I live in Texas, but I like options) 2 dresses 10 pairs of shoes 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 (edited) My new laptop computer is supposed to come today! Though Ds says that I can’t play with it until he does stuff to it first and he won’t be home tonight. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Edited February 9, 2018 by Jean in Newcastle 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I turned Autocorrect off on my phone and I am so much happier. At least now if I make a mistake it is my mistake and not autocorrect swooping in to change things as I hit send. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I turned Autocorrect off on my phone and I am so much happier. At least now if I make a mistake it is my mistake and not autocorrect swooping in to change things as I hit send. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk My autocorrect is not Christian. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 My autocorrect is not Christian. Mine isn’t human. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 itired. I got the oil changed in my car and endured the waiting room with TV and music going at the same time. I came home and and medicated with ibuprofen and a coke. I also found out that for a reasonable rate I can rent a 2018 odyssey next time I need service. Yeah baby! :drool5: :drool5: :drool5: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 DS last night: Mom, I'm eleven. My brain needs some down time to process all of this stuff. I think I need an iPad break. :lol: What does he think happens at 47? 😂😂😂 I don't know! DH just texted, "There is a very crabby bear in the schoolroom that has to write 5 paragraphs." :nopity: Trust me, he should save all his Ipad breaks for when he's 47. He's going to need them more then. :laugh: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 We just saw a huge gray crane walking down the street! I think he took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. :D 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I was awake from 2:30-6:30. You're a good mom. What do I do if my only pair of pants has holes in the upper thighs and I don't look good in anything between November and March? Bookie, this is worth saying again! You're a good mom! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Jean, do you have the Alta hr or the charge 2 or something else? Charge HR. I “inherited “ it from dd. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Dd has a Blaze. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Dd has a Blaze. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk So does Spritzer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I Costcoed. I hate that place. Bookie, you are a good mom. Hang in there, honey!! You can make it through this!! I do not have a capsule wardrobe. I just wear jeans everywhere. I quit a Weight Watchers and am now eating everything in sight. I think I am having a midlife crisis. I hate autocorrect. This morning it corrected “Tsuga†to Tsunami. I finished “The Devil in the White City†and am seriously traumatized. It was a really good book, but creepy creepy creepy. And hard to believe it was all true. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 DH just got my The Devil in the White City hold from the library today! Now I just have to decide if I want to Netflix (Continuum) or read. Decisions, decisions. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I Costcoed. I hate that place. I love Costco. Bookie, you are a good mom. Hang in there, honey!! You can make it through this!! I do not have a capsule wardrobe. I just wear jeans everywhere. I would call that a capsule wardrobe. It was invented for business people but the point is simplicity. I quit a Weight Watchers and am now eating everything in sight. I think I am having a midlife crisis. Please stop. (((Krissi))) I hate autocorrect. This morning it corrected “Tsuga†to Tsunami. I finished “The Devil in the White City†and am seriously traumatized. It was a really good book, but creepy creepy creepy. And hard to believe it was all true. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 I have never been to Costco, so I don't know whether I hate it or not. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.