AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I agree with you both. I also think there’s so much emphasis on “going away†to college, which can add to expenses considerably. We have a community college in our little town and a pretty good university in the Big City which offers a wide range of majors. So, unless my kid is very smart and wants a highly specialized major, he can live at home for the first two years at least and go to Community College. No, it’s not very glamorous, but it’s less expensive. We have a very good community college system here, and they partner with universities in the state to make sure everything transfers without fuss. Some majors the students can do all of their years of study at the community college, under the umbrella of one of the state universities. It really helps keep costs down. DH's parents worked hard to help their boys get through college with no student loan debt. DH and I plan to attempt the same with our kids, though I will add the stipulation that each of our kids should have a 10 hour-per-week job at something unrelated to their studies. I had such a job, and it saved me from massive burnout. If the kids can go local and live at home I will be thrilled. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 (edited) It's not lunchtime yet and I'm already tired. I think I underestimated the necessary dose of caffeine. Let me go remedy that. ETA: It's a well-caffeinated Booyah! Edited February 7, 2018 by Critterfixer 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 How is your bunch doing, Maize? Also AMJ's daughter--the flu is butt. DD13 is doing much better here. She could probably have attended music lessons this afternoon, but I begged off for a little more time. I want a little more recovery in this household before we start joining others much, and I really needed to unload something from today to have less time pressure for my visit with Dad. I am going to have to start setting specific days of the week in which I'll go see Dad. That way he and I both can know what to expect and plan accordingly. This discussion might or might not happen today -- he might be too tired for it by the time I get there. But this weekend we should be able to have this discussion. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I got second sleep after my reading. I had a dream that I had a UTI and was having a very hard time urinating. I was able to relax and do so. I can't believe I didn't wet the bed. Who dreams these things? Ever since we got back home I have been having recurring dreams about having to pack up Dad's stuff in Colorado (still) and get him moved down here. I'll trade you dreams, even if it makes me wet the bed. (I have those dreams from time to time. If I'm too stubbornly asleep or I dream too vividly I end up having to change sheets.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Oops. Not sure what my brain was thinking. Probably consonant-ai-consonent-e + has baby = Maize/Kernel. We're supposed to have winter weather conditions too, according to the signs on the high way yesterday. 4-8inches today. I think we're still supposed to go to music lessons though, just supposed to take more time to drive more slowly and carefully. Less expensive being the key words there, especially the expensive part. Depends on your CC of course, but our county's is $5575/year for county residents (and there is the potential for additional fees if your course has a lab or w/e). The CC where we lived in TX is only $2490/year (if taking 30 hours in that year - their pricing depends on the number of hours, whereas the CC here is $5575/year if you're full-time, so anything between 12-18 per semester (extra fees if taking over 18). Once you add the estimated cost of books ($1100/year) you'd be over that $6k Pell grant figure Tsuga mentioned. For CC. I also really dislike places that make part-time much more expensive per credit hour than full-time. Obviously, kids who have to work to pay for college are more likely to go part-time, so charging them a ton extra for it makes it extra unfair. At least the schools here don't do that, but look at the price tag. :svengo: Saving up for college and then saving up for retirement after that doesn't really work - to come up with the astronomical amount of money needed for retirement, you're going to need compound interest (or, the increase in the stock market, or w/e) over many, many years... 20 isn't really cutting it. It wasn't just the higher cost-per-credit that had me pursuing full-time studies while working so many hours each week -- it was financial aid eligibility. If I dropped below the minimum full-credit load I lost all of my financial aid (mostly student loans). The rub was, if I worked more hours I could afford my classes on my own, but I had no time in which to take them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I lost another pound! I lost another pound! I lost another pound! (Total of four now. ) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I lost another pound! I lost another pound! I lost another pound! (Total of four now. ) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk I did manage to lose one pound myself since yesterday morning. Hope exists! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I think I'll plan summer school this weekend. There's bound to be some downtime I can use on Friday and Saturday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 (edited) I did manage to lose one pound myself since yesterday morning. Hope exists!I have been losing and gaining the same 10 pounds ( and then gaining a couple more to boot) for years now. Technically, these four pounds added to the six I lost when I first went Celiac level gluten free, put me right at that ten pound mark. The one-pound-a-week thing and my more systematic “slow but steady wins the race†approach has me hopeful that this time I can keep losing. I hope. What has happened in the past is that around the ten pound mark I have always gotten really sick and have had to quit while I try to get well and that derails me. This time I am sick again but it is milder and I have been able to still keep my step and eating goals going. And my illness hasn’t been bad enough to totally spike my bloodsugar levels. Edited February 7, 2018 by Jean in Newcastle 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I got second sleep after my reading. I had a dream that I had a UTI and was having a very hard time urinating. I was able to relax and do so. I can't believe I didn't wet the bed. Who dreams these things? I dream of peeing, although it hasn't happened in a while. If I have a pee dream and really have to go, it is a pee-goes-wild dream in which it goes everywhere except the toilet I'm sitting on. That's my clue to wake up. If I don't, I'm changing sheets. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I got second sleep after my reading. I had a dream that I had a UTI and was having a very hard time urinating. I was able to relax and do so. I can't believe I didn't wet the bed. Who dreams these things? Dreaming about peeing is never a good thing! How about "Hi" and "I'll write if you write"? I don't want to pressure him to write. The river camp is butt- he would have to pay for paper, pens, stamps out of his own money. I'm not sure how much his immediate family is helping him out and don't want to ask. I kept it pretty short and gave him some jokes at the end. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Why did the old man fall into the well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 My college plans involve the kids paying for it themselves and my retirement plans involve having a house paid off, no debt and living on SS. I would love for that not be the case and we're working towards that not being the case, but for now that's what our future holds. John will probably join the military or go into a trade. I have no idea why I think that but I always have. Yes, our children will be paying for their own college. It never occurred to me to do it any other way. Because no other way exists. Unless we win the lottery. Which we don't play. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 He couldn't see that well. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Dreaming about peeing is never a good thing! I don't want to pressure him to write. The river camp is butt- he would have to pay for paper, pens, stamps out of his own money. I'm not sure how much his immediate family is helping him out and don't want to ask. I kept it pretty short and gave him some jokes at the end. Are you allowed to send him paper, envelopes, and stamps? Just a stamped envelope and a couple of blank sheets tucked in with your letter, and with the stated understanding he gets to write to whomever he pleases with them (not just you). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I have been losing and gaining the same 10 pounds ( and then gaining a couple more to boot) for years now. Technically, these four pounds added to the six I lost when I first went Celiac level gluten free, put me right at that ten pound mark. The one-pound-a-week thing and my more systematic “slow but steady wins the race†approach has me hopeful that this time I can keep losing. I hope. What has happened in the past is that around the ten pound mark I have always gotten really sick and have had to quit while I try to get well and that derails me. This time I am sick again but it is milder and I have been able to still keep my step and eating goals going. And my illness hasn’t been bad enough to totally spike my bloodsugar levels. I'm happy about the good part if this, the milder sickness and keeping going and not spiking BG as much. Hooray! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Yes, our children will be paying for their own college. It never occurred to me to do it any other way. Because no other way exists. Unless we win the lottery. Which we don't play. My Dad, it turns out, played. A lot over the years, until about a year ago. But he never remembered to check his tickets. This, from the parent who would have given me an unending lecture on the "voluntary tax" had he ever heard of me playing the lottery. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I am roasting prime rib tonight. My mother bought a roast on sale and froze it and then she gave it to me! I've never made one, but I've got my book out and am trying to do everything right. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I'm being good and eating veggies I stir-fried for lunch. Fresh veggies are my friends, though I am sorry I am out of tofu and mushrooms. I need to go see my Dad this afternoon. There's a lot else I need to do, but this is the priority, even though I just want a break. So far on days when I haven't been going over I still end up working on prep for the next visit, and talking to Dad on the phone about various things. I know, it's early days and we are still getting him set up and settled in. I just want some normalcy to return. I guess I'm having a little whine with my lunch. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I am roasting prime rib tonight. My mother bought a roast on sale and froze it and then she gave it to me! I've never made one, but I've got my book out and am trying to do everything right. I'm ditching everyone else and heading to Critter's for supper! I'll bring the whipped cream and horseradish. :drool5: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Alex is being butt! I have never wet the bed. I attribute that fact to my large, pregnancy accommodating frame and the fact that I've never given birth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 How is your bunch doing, Maize? Also AMJ's daughter--the flu is butt. We're taking things easy. Nights have been a bit rough. I let dd3 unwean, hopefully very temporarily. She's been the sickest out of all of us. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Somebody started a thread about what kind of mothers we are. In response to the question I am too tempted to respond "panini-ed" (sandwiched and squished hard). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 We're taking things easy. Nights have been a bit rough. I let dd3 unwean, hopefully very temporarily. She's been the sickest out of all of us. :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Alex is being butt! I have never wet the bed. I attribute that fact to my large, pregnancy accommodating frame and the fact that I've never given birth. Technically you have given birth 3 times - just via c-section. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 ((AMJ)) Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I sometimes call myself a bobcat mother. :001_smile: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I sometimes call myself a bobcat mother. :001_smile: And what is a bobcat mother? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanalouwho Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I forgot to take my vitamins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Are you allowed to send him paper, envelopes, and stamps? Just a stamped envelope and a couple of blank sheets tucked in with your letter, and with the stated understanding he gets to write to whomever he pleases with them (not just you). We can send 3 pieces of paper and 3 envelopes, but no stamps. I don't know why stamps are contraband. You also can't send anything written with crayons, markers, or painted. :confused1: I can't imagine what's dangerous about a kid's picture with crayons. Seems mean for the parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 And what is a bobcat mother? A loner, aloof, highly adaptable, takes her kittens with her when they are old enough to learn to hunt, can survive just about anywhere. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 (edited) I think I am a hummingbird mother. There was a hummingbird nest outside our apartment one year in California and that mom worked like crazy to take care of the three babies that were too big for their tiny nest. The best part was how she would fly around scolding the squirrel that sometimes got into the tree until she chased him away. Edited February 7, 2018 by maize 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 We can send 3 pieces of paper and 3 envelopes, but no stamps. I don't know why stamps are contraband. You also can't send anything written with crayons, markers, or painted. :confused1: I can't imagine what's dangerous about a kid's picture with crayons. Seems mean for the parents. It probably has to do with how some drugs (small doses) are smuggled in. Do they confiscate money sent? Or could you send him $1 to buy a stamp there? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I forgot to take my vitamins. How about now, then? I'll take mine, too, and be your vitamin buddy today. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 A loner, aloof, highly adaptable, takes her kittens with her when they are old enough to learn to hunt, can survive just about anywhere. And someone a lot more formidable than that small size might suggest, should you mess with her and hers. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I forgot to take my vitamins. Take your vitamins. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I have to say I am really enjoying the ITT gang. Thanks for letting me crash your party :) 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Technically you have given birth 3 times - just via c-section. Well, yes, but I believe it's the pressure of pregnancy and vaginal birth that cause urinary issues. I think that because so many women begin having issues immediately after birth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I have to say I am really enjoying the ITT gang. Thanks for letting me crash your party :) What crashing? You are part of it now! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I think I am a hummingbird mother. There was a hummingbird nest outside our apartment one year in California and that mom worked like crazy to take care of the three babies that were too big for their tiny nest. The best part was how she would fly around scolding the squirrel that sometimes got into the tree until she chased him away. Yeah, that fits. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Well, yes, but I believe it's the pressure of pregnancy and vaginal birth that cause urinary issues. I think that because so many women begin having issues immediately after birth. You still did the pregnancy part :) But yeah, birth can be traumatic for sure. My smaller babies slipped out pretty easily. The big ones though...I felt like my bones were being torn apart. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 It probably has to do with how some drugs (small doses) are smuggled in. Do they confiscate money sent? Or could you send him $1 to buy a stamp there? We can send money orders for the commissary and I guess he could buy a stamp there but I don't know him well so I don't want to start that. I've seen him once in something like 20 years! And except for when he was very small, we didn't get along well as kids. I didn't like to play their games because they were too wild and I thought a little mean. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Well, yes, but I believe it's the pressure of pregnancy and vaginal birth that cause urinary issues. I think that because so many women begin having issues immediately after birth. Mine were both c-sections, and I've got the issues. I think it's the pressure during the pregnancy, and the overly exuberant kicking of the temporary occupant. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 We can send money orders for the commissary and I guess he could buy a stamp there but I don't know him well so I don't want to start that. I've seen him once in something like 20 years! And except for when he was very small, we didn't get along well as kids. I didn't like to play their games because they were too wild and I thought a little mean. Okay, then he can work out his own supply line. Just chatty is plenty! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I can’t wait until my new laptop is here. I keep forgetting and trying to type on this one and then get frustrated when all these key letters like “s†andâ€b†and “t†won’t register. I get tired of trying to read and type on my phone as well. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 When I checked a couple of weeks ago, it looked like our EFC would be about 10% of our household income, which is about the max we could cashflow without hardship, so, our plan continues to be to cashflow it, supplemented by kids working, merit aid, or *small* amount of loans if necessary. Of course, I have no idea what it'll actually be like in 8 years, plus, I wanted to get a job when youngest enrolls in college, which will then totally ruin our EFC. Though realistically, I'd imagine that worst case scenario I'd be working for free... surely they wouldn't raise EFC by more than my income? Either way, our EFC is already about 4/5 of the tuition+fees of local U, so, they can't really ask for more than us paying for it all. Though the main thing is that our estimated EFC for both kids in college is only like $500 or so more per year than one kid in college, so if they somehow change that, it could go up a lot. Still, I don't know how much overlap there will be in when the kids will be in college. I figure it will all work out somehow... worst case scenario the kids will go to CC part time while working and living at home... if that's not affordable, then this country would be completely screwed and we'd move abroad. All of this is, of course, contingent on keeping our living expenses low, like, our rent is only about 11% of our income, and we don't have a car payment... If for some reason we had to move to a HCOL area, then the kids would be SOL, since we're right at about the median household income for a family of 4, not rich. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 What crashing? You are part of it now! :001_wub: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Paige- stamps can be coated with drugs on the sticky side. Also stamps are often used as a prison currency in the prison black market. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 You still did the pregnancy part :) But yeah, birth can be traumatic for sure. My smaller babies slipped out pretty easily. The big ones though...I felt like my bones were being torn apart. Mine were both c-sections, and I've got the issues. I think it's the pressure during the pregnancy, and the overly exuberant kicking of the temporary occupant. If I were in absolute perfect shape I would wear a size 12. I think the physical demands of pregnancy were easier on me than someone with a smaller frame. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I tho k that I am going to wait for the new laptop before trying to sort out the FAFSA Snafu. I have to have all available letters for passwords etc. I feel a bit like a slacker for waiting despite having given them everything they asked for previously. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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