Ignore this thread!

[prairiewindmomma]

7 hours ago, ikslo said:

Edpo

So...spelling.  It's the only subject DS has bombed (again!) on the end-of-year testing.  He is cumulatively in the 95+ percentile in all three groups: Language (95), Maths (99), and Reading (96).  BUT, if you look at the Language break down, you see a huge dip in spelling: Mechanics (85), Usage & Structure (99), and Spelling (38).  I am not worried as I have seen improvement (day to day, although not much if you look at the testing), but DH wants us to do spelling over the summer.  We already do AAS.  I plan to continue AAS next year.  I was thinking of switching it up for the summer, though, and I have no idea what to pick.  Preferably an independent workbook type thing he could do while I am at work?  If I have to do it with him later, though, I'm more than willing.  Any suggestions would be helpful. 

One of the things that is a sticking point in doing this at all is that when I ask him to spell verbally, he does great.  Spells the same word 30 seconds later on paper and sometimes gets it wrong.  Or he can stare at a misspelled word and not notice it is spelled incorrectly, but then if I ask him to spell it out loud, he spells it correctly.  So I know there is a mind to paper gap.  I think AAS has been helping with that.  But not enough to get him up to "grade level" - whatever that means with respect to homeschooling.  Again, I don't care that he's not on grade level with spelling and writing.  But I'm just explaining so that if you have suggestions for curriculum that address that gap... ?

I'd be fine with just doing typing over the summer, but I am also willing to accept DH's simple request that we work on spelling over the summer.  (For the record, DH does not think I've dropped the ball or anything, he just figures it can't hurt.)

I'll consider anything but Spalding (LOL, sorry Queen!) since this is only a summer intensive and I'm otherwise pretty happy with AAS.

So what would be your choice, and why? 

Is he dysgraphic?

How does he spell when he types?

My kid is an excellent oral speller—no point in doing remedial phonics work—the glitch is in the motor output.

[KrissiK]

3 hours ago, maize said:

 

It is impossible to ALWAYS, but ALWAYS, be the calm, responsible, forgiving, water off a ducks back person.

No matter how well you know that you are dealing with irrational and that engaging never yields anything positive.

You're human. You're being hurt. It's ok that you don't always respond like a logical robot might. You're carrying an impossibly heavy load and somehow managing each day--that is heroic.

 

Maize, you are so right. I deal with tremendous guilt because of my very difficult son. I can be calm and rational 9 times out of 10, but it’s that 10th time I will feel guilty about and kick myself for. It’s hard to remember we are only human.

[KrissiK]

I called the medical help line and she sent in a prescription to The Afsa. And DH picked it up for me. And I took you first pill. Yay for being on the road to recovery.

[maize]

1 hour ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

I can't tell you how much comfort this gives me. Thank you for posting it. I have been kicking myself all day, because I just handed DH "proof" that I'm the unstable one and he can continue to ignore his own...whatever. But then I remember that yes, I snapped and it was ugly, but I DIDN'T snap for *two days* of constant provocation. It escalated and escalated, and then I was yelling. 

I had long, long talks with Reader and Runner after the little boys went to sleep. They feel like our fighting is their fault. It breaks my heart. No matter how often or sincerely I tell them it's NOT their fault, that's NOT true, there will always be a part of them that believes it.

 

I've walked the path of having a spouse with mental illness.

Not the same path as yours because every person, every illness, every relationship is unique. But I can guess at the darkness you are facing because I've faced a similar darkness many times.

My husband is doing remarkably well right now, we're not having emotional relapses more than a couple of times a month and those are mostly mild. When it does happen though I start to panic because the weight of past crises comes crashing down on me. 

 

With my kids I've done a lot of talking about how sometimes daddy's brain just doesn't work properly. It's not anyone's fault--not even his. It's the fault of a terrible, destructive sickness.

They've seen their share of complete meltdowns, the kind where mom yells and screams and cries. Not that that has ever done any good where Dh is concerned, but I don't know that it would necessarily have been better for them to never see that mom is a person too with emotions just like everyone else. A person who hurts when trampled on. And a person who will stand up and fight to stop the trampling.

When I'm disappointed by my own unhelpful reactions I remind myself that I am a wife, not a therapist. The therapist can remain calm and reasonable no matter what because whatever their client is throwing out doesn't really have anything to do with them and their life.

We don't have that luxury.

 

I've been fortunate in that Dh has been mostly willing to accept and stick with treatment, our marriage would never have survived otherwise.

[ikslo]

36 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Is he dysgraphic?

How does he spell when he types?

My kid is an excellent oral speller—no point in doing remedial phonics work—the glitch is in the motor output.

I don’t know.  He has nice handwriting.  It just is slow, and takes effort.

We haven’t done much typing.  Slow?  Burning Cargo was a flop, and we didn’t really get back to typing after that.

That’s pretty much my feeling, too.

[Ellie]

10 hours ago, whitehawk said:

I didn't church because allergies

?

[Junie]

(((Bookie)))

I'm praying for you, too.

 

[Ellie]

8 hours ago, ikslo said:

Edpo

So...spelling.  It's the only subject DS has bombed (again!) on the end-of-year testing.  He is cumulatively in the 95+ percentile in all three groups: Language (95), Maths (99), and Reading (96).  BUT, if you look at the Language break down, you see a huge dip in spelling: Mechanics (85), Usage & Structure (99), and Spelling (38).  I am not worried as I have seen improvement (day to day, although not much if you look at the testing), but DH wants us to do spelling over the summer.  We already do AAS.  I plan to continue AAS next year.  I was thinking of switching it up for the summer, though, and I have no idea what to pick.  Preferably an independent workbook type thing he could do while I am at work?  If I have to do it with him later, though, I'm more than willing.  Any suggestions would be helpful. 

One of the things that is a sticking point in doing this at all is that when I ask him to spell verbally, he does great.  Spells the same word 30 seconds later on paper and sometimes gets it wrong.  Or he can stare at a misspelled word and not notice it is spelled incorrectly, but then if I ask him to spell it out loud, he spells it correctly.  So I know there is a mind to paper gap.  I think AAS has been helping with that.  But not enough to get him up to "grade level" - whatever that means with respect to homeschooling.  Again, I don't care that he's not on grade level with spelling and writing.  But I'm just explaining so that if you have suggestions for curriculum that address that gap... ?

I'd be fine with just doing typing over the summer, but I am also willing to accept DH's simple request that we work on spelling over the summer.  (For the record, DH does not think I've dropped the ball or anything, he just figures it can't hurt.)

I'll consider anything but Spalding (LOL, sorry Queen!) since this is only a summer intensive and I'm otherwise pretty happy with AAS.

So what would be your choice, and why? 

"Grade level" will mean "the grade that he would be in if he were in school." IOW, not the way homeschoolers like to mush around grade levels with red-shirting and whatnot. :-) The grade he would have been in if he had started at the local public school, based on his date of birth and the cut-off in your state for entering first grade.

When you say that you're "doing AAS," are you doing it as closely as possible? How long have you been doing AAS?

[Ellie]

Tomorrow is Monday. I have nothing to do. Srsly. o_0

[Slache]

1 minute ago, Ellie said:

Tomorrow is Monday. I have nothing to do. Srsly. o_0

Come to my place. You can help with the kids. 

[Junie]

This is ds17's last week of homeschool.

We began in June of 2004 when he was almost four.  We homeschooled all the way and now he's almost done.

I am happy and sad.

[Ellie]

6 minutes ago, Slache said:

Come to my place. You can help with the kids. 

Oh ha. I don't do other people's kids. Bwaaahaaa!

[ikslo]

14 minutes ago, Ellie said:

"Grade level" will mean "the grade that he would be in if he were in school." IOW, not the way homeschoolers like to mush around grade levels with red-shirting and whatnot. ? The grade he would have been in if he had started at the local public school, based on his date of birth and the cut-off in your state for entering first grade.

When you say that you're "doing AAS," are you doing it as closely as possible? How long have you been doing AAS?

Yes, I’m aware of what grade level means  ?  I meant that just because he’s “5th grade” doesn’t mean we as homeschoolers are working across the board at the PS 5th grade level.  But it matters here in PA even if it doesn’t matter to me.

We’ve been doing AAS since the beginning. We do all the parts, including the cards/review.  We use the cards, tiles, word lists, a whiteboard, paper/pencil, verbal, etc.  we spend a lot of time on spelling.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

Day 136 steps 
Day 7 hips

[Another Lynn]

Good Monday morning. Coffee. ☕️☕️☕️

[Junie]

Good Morning!

I may go back to bed for second sleep.

 

[ikslo]

Good luck today, Bookie!

[ikslo]

We have an audit all week.  I don’t want to get out of bed.

[Slache]

Good morning beauties! It's time to beast. ?

It's a beasty Booya!

[Susan in TN]

9 hours ago, Slache said:

Remind me to get up at 5 all week so I can be thoroughly productive.

Slache, you up?

[Susan in TN]

7 minutes ago, Slache said:

Good morning beauties! It's time to beast. ?

It's a beasty Booya!

 

Just now, Susan in TN said:

Slache, you up?

Ha!  Right on time!

[Susan in TN]

Good morning!  It's The Queen's favorite day!

Orthodontist this morning and book club tonight.  

Coffee!

[Junie]

I didn't go back to sleep.

Instead, I:

listed some items on ebay

read 3 chapters in Genesis

finished an ASL lesson

wrote 2 encouragement cards (and prayed for those I was sending them to)

dusted the (very dusty because my husband was repairing drywall) filing cabinet

scrubbed a toilet

 

Now it's time to:

wake the kiddos

do devotions with the older kids

do current events with the older kids

eat breakfast

 

 

[Susan in TN]

I have a few piddly things that need to get done today, but I need to figure out what kind of major project to tackle first.  I suspect it will be laundry/pantry.

[maize]

6 hours ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

I just found out that my DH has not only been rejecting the idea that he has a mental illness, but is also telling our kids that *I* have a mental illness. These poor kids are so confused. Our marriage isn't surviving. I have told him I want a divorce.

I really appreciate your sharing. I have met only two people who have dealt with similar things in their own lives, and both of you through ITT. It helps a lot to know I'm not alone. Knowing I'm not alone helps me remember I'm not making this up. DH presents himself so well that people don't believe me when I open up about how things are at home. I think my therapist does, though. Even after only 2 sessions (then he quit going), she is concerned. We go to our first appointment back with her this morning.

 

I've recorded interactions with Dh before just in case I ever needed to prove to someone else the reality of our experience. Keeping a journal where you write down stuff he says could also help.

 

When they refuse treatment--which seems to be all too common with men--divorce is often the only reasonable option. If they won't get the awful beast off their own shoulders we have to separate ourselves from them to at least get it off of our shoulders. One of many horrid realities.

 

I hope therapy is helpful today.

[prairiewindmomma]

Bookie—I hope that today goes well for you.

[KrissiK]

Good Morning!!!

COFFEE!!~D

Monday!!!?

Summer schedule starts today. Strict limitations on devises will be enforced. 

[KrissiK]

It’s gonna be hot today.  I hate summer!!

[KrissiK]

((Bookmom)) I will be praying for you!!

[KrissiK]

58 minutes ago, Susan in TN said:

I have a few piddly things that need to get done today, but I need to figure out what kind of major project to tackle first.  I suspect it will be laundry/pantry.

I should be doing that. We have pantry moths so bad. I opened up an “oldish” (but still completely sealed) package of cake mix last week to make DS a birthday cake. The plastic envelope thing was still completely sealed and completely filled with pantry moths. I ended up making the cake from scratch.?

[Ellie]

9 hours ago, ikslo said:

Yes, I’m aware of what grade level means  ?  I meant that just because he’s “5th grade” doesn’t mean we as homeschoolers are working across the board at the PS 5th grade level.  But it matters here in PA even if it doesn’t matter to me.

We’ve been doing AAS since the beginning. We do all the parts, including the cards/review.  We use the cards, tiles, word lists, a whiteboard, paper/pencil, verbal, etc.  we spend a lot of time on spelling.  

Of course I know that he isn't doing fifth grade-level work in all subjects. Children in classrooms aren't doing fifth grade-level work in all subjects, either, TBH. :-) But that fifth grade-level label identifies the fact that he is not at the level expected for a 10yo person who would be in fifth grade if he were in school (depending on the cut-off date in the state and his birthday, a child who is in fifth grade in school would have been 10yo at the beginning of the school year: either he was 9 and had his 10th birthday in school, or he was 10 at the beginning of the year and had his 11th birthday in school. Those of us with summer birthdays would be 10 for the whole year.).

If you've been faithfully following AAS all along (and I say that because sometimes people think they are following a specific method because that's what they start with, but then they make all sorts of adjustments, and those adjustments really change things such that it's no longer that method), and it sounds as if you are,  and he isn't at grade level, then *I* would be a little concerned.

[KrissiK]

1 hour ago, Junie said:

I didn't go back to sleep.

Instead, I:

listed some items on ebay

read 3 chapters in Genesis

finished an ASL lesson

wrote 2 encouragement cards (and prayed for those I was sending them to)

dusted the (very dusty because my husband was repairing drywall) filing cabinet

scrubbed a toilet

 

Now it's time to:

wake the kiddos

do devotions with the older kids

do current events with the older kids

eat breakfast

 

 

What do you do for current events?

[Ellie]

It's MONDAY!!!!!!

[KrissiK]

10 minutes ago, Ellie said:

It's MONDAY!!!!!!

Noooooooo! Say it isn’t so!!

[Junie]

34 minutes ago, KrissiK said:

What do you do for current events?

I go to the major news websites -- cnn, nbc, abc, cbs, and our local newspaper's website.  I pull up articles that I think they would be interested in or things that are happening in our world that they should know about.  Then I give them a brief (one or two sentence) synopsis of what happened.  Sometimes we will have a discussion about the article.

I do not share all of the horrible things that happen, but I do share some of them.

[Critterfixer]

Hugs, Bookie. That is so tough. I am glad your therapist is listening to you. You must take care of yourself and the kids. That's what's most important right now. You can't help someone who won't accept help. That's the sad, honest truth.

I'm working on edits this morning. I want to get ready for the pitch event on Thursday. Nothing may come of it, but I'm looking at it as an opportunity to try out a new skill and see how I fare.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Bailey just hopped past my bed...  DD’s  door is closed. I wonder where the bunny was all night?  

[Ellie]

There was a storm last night. Two of my windows leaked. Not the windows themselves, but you know how there are window openings in the walls, with drywall all around and the window sill on the bottom? It leaked through the top of that opening. I'm sure there's an official name for that, but I don't do construction, so there's that. o_0

Anyway, it happened before a couple of years ago; I tried to find someone to come out and check it but to my amazement, apparently no one in the area where I live knows anything about that. ::scratches head:: So last night there was an amazing storm, and the windows leaked again. So today I'm calling the insurance company.

I guess I spoke too soon when I said I had nothing to do today...

[Jean in Newcastle]

Just now, Ellie said:

There was a storm last night. Two of my windows leaked. Not the windows themselves, but you know how there are window openings in the walls, with drywall all around and the window sill on the bottom? It leaked through the top of that opening. I'm sure there's an official name for that, but I don't do construction, so there's that. o_0

Anyway, it happened before a couple of years ago; I tried to find someone to come out and check it but to my amazement, apparently no one in the area where I live knows anything about that. ::scratches head:: So last night there was an amazing storm, and the windows leaked again. So today I'm calling the insurance company.

I guess I spoke too soon when I said I had nothing to do today...

This is why when we had our windows replaced, I insisted on them having metal overlapping all the drywall.  (I can't remember the official name for that.  ?  )  The construction foreman thought that I was a witch (or something that rhymes with that. . . ) and told me so often because I watched them like a hawk to make sure that they did it exactly right.  But when they were done, he came to me and whispered that if he were putting windows in his own home, he would do the same. . .   We have had no leaks. 

[Ellie]

31 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

This is why when we had our windows replaced, I insisted on them having metal overlapping all the drywall.  (I can't remember the official name for that.  ?  )  The construction foreman thought that I was a witch (or something that rhymes with that. . . ) and told me so often because I watched them like a hawk to make sure that they did it exactly right.  But when they were done, he came to me and whispered that if he were putting windows in his own home, he would do the same. . .   We have had no leaks. 

Curiously, only these two windows leaked, and I have six windows downstairs plus a five-bay nook. It happened a year or so ago, but we have had copious amounts of rain since then with no leaks. It seems only to happen if the rain is blowing in from a specific direction? IDK.

There would have to be an overlap of however-many-inches-the-walls-are-thick in order for these windows not to have leaked, because it is not the window itself. There's something going on in the wall above the window (two-story house).

[Susan in TN]

I remembered at lunch that we are out of dishwasher detergent and completely forgot earlier when we stopped at a store for dental flossers.  Argh.  So I am washing a lot of dishes by hand and not dealing with the pantry.  Maybe I will get up the gumption after story time. 

Speaking of story time, today we are starting the 4th book in Susan Cooper's "The Dark is Rising" series.  We read books 1-3 in the past couple summers.

[prairiewindmomma]

1 hour ago, Ellie said:

There was a storm last night. Two of my windows leaked. Not the windows themselves, but you know how there are window openings in the walls, with drywall all around and the window sill on the bottom? It leaked through the top of that opening. I'm sure there's an official name for that, but I don't do construction, so there's that. o_0

Anyway, it happened before a couple of years ago; I tried to find someone to come out and check it but to my amazement, apparently no one in the area where I live knows anything about that. ::scratches head:: So last night there was an amazing storm, and the windows leaked again. So today I'm calling the insurance company.

I guess I spoke too soon when I said I had nothing to do today...

Sorry about the leak.  Most home builders don't do a good job flashing windows.  We are in the process of investigating our current home's window/flashing/sill situation. We've got some dry rot and we don't know yet if there's more damage.  

Ellie---check your caulking.  TX weather can dry the heck out of it. When we lived in TX, our window leak was simply from failed caulking---it only happened with strong rain from the northwest.

[prairiewindmomma]

I had a big meeting this morning at the school first thing this morning and then I went clothes shopping for me.  I haven't bought a new shirt in a store for a few years and I needed to replace some stained and torn things. I came home with two shirts, and a resolve not to go to Kohls again.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Where are my socks?  I know that I found a fresh pair this morning. . .     Off to retrace my steps. . .

[Jean in Newcastle]

Found my socks.  Now someone needs to kick me in the patooticus.  I have to tackle. . . everything. 

[Susan in TN]

6 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Found my socks.  Now someone needs to kick me in the patooticus.  I have to tackle. . . everything. 

Like, the first things on your list are lunch and a nap?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Just now, Susan in TN said:

Like, the first things on your list are lunch and a nap?

I wish.  OK - I need to sort meds now.  Ready. . .   set. . . go! 

[Jean in Newcastle]

1 minute ago, Susan in TN said:

Like, the first things on your list are lunch and a nap?

I wish.  OK - I need to sort meds now.  Ready. . .   set. . . go! 

[Tsuga]

On 6/3/2018 at 8:36 AM, ThatBookwormMom said:

I need to find a significant loan. I thought I had one, but it doesn't look like it will happen. I have one other option, but it's a long shot and will require much groveling. I won't risk losing my kids, though, so I'll do it if I have to.

 

Do you qualify for a zero interest credit card with a retailer? That's how I financed my end of marriage ceremony.

On 6/3/2018 at 10:27 AM, ThatBookwormMom said:

Does anyone know of a good place to buy a decent, inexpensive, secondhand laptop or PC?

Gazelle.com

7 hours ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

I just found out that my DH has not only been rejecting the idea that he has a mental illness, but is also telling our kids that *I* have a mental illness. These poor kids are so confused. Our marriage isn't surviving. I have told him I want a divorce.

I really appreciate your sharing. I have met only two people who have dealt with similar things in their own lives, and both of you through ITT. It helps a lot to know I'm not alone. Knowing I'm not alone helps me remember I'm not making this up. DH presents himself so well that people don't believe me when I open up about how things are at home. I think my therapist does, though. Even after only 2 sessions (then he quit going), she is concerned. We go to our first appointment back with her this morning.

Uh. Even if you did, what he's doing is off the rails. My ex-h has a mental illness on his medical records and I receive calls about it from doctors because he gave them my number.  Do you think for a second I share that with my kids? Hell no. HELL. NO. Bookie--you aren't the crazy one. You have to get the kids out of this situation. Stay strong.

4 hours ago, Ellie said:

Of course I know that he isn't doing fifth grade-level work in all subjects. Children in classrooms aren't doing fifth grade-level work in all subjects, either, TBH. ?

 

Cannot be overstated. THere is a four year spread in math and English in my kids' schools. That's because they work hard to keep everyone in a normal age-appropriate cohort. So you end up with a 2-year below through 2-year (or more) above, with variation on material spanning about 3 years. If a kid is 4+ years ahead in everything but not high IQ, they don't get the full acceleration packet they would in gifted, but they do get more services. Ditto for kids still working through multiplication. They can be doing 3rd grade math revision in 5th grade.

4 hours ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

He has actually been recording interactuons with me where he says all kinds of things that have a grain of truth, but are teisted beyond imagining. It's recordings of me saying, "No, that's not true. No, that's wrong." He believes his own lies so thoroughly. And what's scary is most other people believe him, too. My only option is to get away.

 

Yes. This is true. Please take care. HTH

[Ellie]

1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Sorry about the leak.  Most home builders don't do a good job flashing windows.  We are in the process of investigating our current home's window/flashing/sill situation. We've got some dry rot and we don't know yet if there's more damage.  

Ellie---check your caulking.  TX weather can dry the heck out of it. When we lived in TX, our window leak was simply from failed caulking---it only happened with strong rain from the northwest.

At this point, it will also require a new window sill and new drywall at the top. :-(