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Blood sugar report:

 

Sugars a bit better today. Tummy better too.

 

My sugars haven’t been coming down enough in two hours like it is supposed to, but I have been waiting an extra hour before eating and they have come down. Except for tonight. I had a small snack tonight despite my sugar not being down enough. But if I had waited longer I would have gone out of my eating window. And I was genuinely hungry.

 

 

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Can you guys come talk to DH? ...

 

Are we married to the same d*mn man????

 

I could not keep up working and keeping house. Go back a thousand or so pages and read my anguish. Never mind, you have your own. That's why I'm home, and I don't even have four kids. I work part-time from home and am still tired...

 

:iagree: What they said.

Edited by Renai
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Dutch word of the day #1: the Dutch word for monkey is aap. Also, the Dutch word for ape is aap. Nobody cares whether they have tails or not. In school, they typically teach that the English word for aap is monkey.

 

.

But.... they have to care. Because that’s the difference between a monkey and an ape. The tail.
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Well, I tried cooking the butternut squash whole with the seeds left in. Worked like a charm, and much easier to take the seeds out of an already baked squash!

 

Wait, didn't you do this last week too? Or was that a different squash? Or were you just thinking about doing it?

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Yes, he is. And this is exactly what I mean. His expectations...it isn't that he overloads me with daily tasks or whatever. It's more his constant dusapproval of what I can accomplish in a day. ...

 

... I'm not sure yet about the long term sustainability of all this, and I am praying, but I'm also trying to be practical with what's happening today, ykwim?

 

It is not sustainable long-term without sacrifice. What that particular sacrifice is depends on the family. After reading again about your dh's depression, I now remember that yes, we are married to the same man. Same attitudes, thoughts, words, constant disapproval. It can be maddening. I'm at a point now...

 

Even if you could get counseling, you would need to be careful who you are counseling with. Make sure they understand your goals. I'll make a separate post about our experience last year, because I don't want to overshadow your issues in this one.

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 If he won't go to counseling, you may benefit from it yourself. A counselor could give you strategies for and practice with reducing fights and being assertive in a respectful way.

 

Be careful of who you counsel with. We went to counseling last year. It started out as family counseling, but since it turned into it being all about him (no one could get a word in edgewise except him), it was changed to individual. One of the girls was also in counseling there, so it was considered part of the family counseling thing.

 

After a few sessions with dh, she saw me. She told me a variety of things, and had nothing to do with conciliation - he created a lot of problems, maybe I don't really love him, do I want the girls to continue in that environment (arguments, anger, etc.), no wonder my daughter was anxious, don't I think he should leave... That was the last time I saw her. After about a week, dh shared what he had been told  - he wasn't respected by us, maybe he should leave (because of lack of respect?), etc., basically telling him everything was my fault, which he would continuously throw in my face - daily. So I finally laid it on the line that she was saying the exact opposite to me.

 

What he didn't need was a counselor. He needed a psychologist, that could possibly diagnose his real issue, and give him some drug besides pot to stabilize his moods. You couldn't pay me to go back to a counselor. I'll read a book or two.

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:drool5: Mmmmm. I saw this, and asked Dancer, "Hey, isn't a true that a baker can take any recipe and adjust it for high altitude?" She assured me she could. :D I then asked if she could take any high altitude recipe and convert it for lower altitude. She was like, sure, it can take some time. So I told her she should get busy with my favorite high altitude baking book so it'll be ready when we move to Texas.  :laugh:

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Be careful of who you counsel with. We went to counseling last year. It started out as family counseling, but since it turned into it being all about him (no one could get a word in edgewise except him), it was changed to individual. One of the girls was also in counseling there, so it was considered part of the family counseling thing.

 

After a few sessions with dh, she saw me. She told me a variety of things, and had nothing to do with conciliation - he created a lot of problems, maybe I don't really love him, do I want the girls to continue in that environment (arguments, anger, etc.), no wonder my daughter was anxious, don't I think he should leave... That was the last time I saw her. After about a week, dh shared what he had been told  - he wasn't respected by us, maybe he should leave (because of lack of respect?), etc., basically telling him everything was my fault, which he would continuously throw in my face - daily. So I finally laid it on the line that she was saying the exact opposite to me.

 

What he didn't need was a counselor. He needed a psychologist, that could possibly diagnose his real issue, and give him some drug besides pot to stabilize his moods. You couldn't pay me to go back to a counselor. I'll read a book or two.

 

:grouphug:   That's awful!  

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Morning!!

 

I slept better than I thought I would, by sleeping semi-reclined. Now I'm up for the day, I guess. I just used my sinus rinse bottle and am sitting here now, with peroxide in my ear. It just feels like sinus stuff. I might go buy elderberry later. And I'm already using gelsemium and Sudafed and stuff. Any other ideas?

Unkers.
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Huh?

 

And only one ear bubbled!

Might need to try both ears again in an hour. Do you feel a little better when you are done, at least for a little while? If so, then it is working. If not, then it's probably not an effective treatement for that particular virus. I'll usually keep it up for a day just in case.

 

In my experience, it has worked best with flu viruses that absolutely knock you over like a truck and you just want to give up on life and do something that is against ITT regulations. But I've also found it effective for more mild cold viruses.

Edited by Susan in TN
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Good morning!

 

It looks pathetic outside - patchy white smears of snow, but the sun might actually come out today for a couple hours!

 

We are taking down the Christmas decorations today. Decided we'd better not wait until Lent. :D Then if the roads look pretty clear, we're going to take dd9 to ds22's apartment for a playdate with his apartment-mate's pet rats, which was part of dd's birthday gift.

 

Coffee!

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Our back deck is the happenin' place for our feathered friends this morning. We can see cardinals, dark-eyed juncos, chickadees, goldfinches, house finches, Carolina wrens, downey woodpecker, mourning doves, red-bellied woodpecker, tufted titmouse, and a squirrel. I expect the nuthatch to show uo pretty soon.

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Our back deck is the happenin' place for our feathered friends this morning. We can see cardinals, dark-eyed juncos, chickadees, goldfinches, house finches, Carolina wrens, downey woodpecker, mourning doves, red-bellied woodpecker, tufted titmouse, and a squirrel. I expect the nuthatch to show uo pretty soon.

 

Wow!

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Here are hugs and love to each of you, for all the things you're dealing with, too. I would offer more, but I have no advice. Just love. 💗💗💗💗

 

One major issue in my home and marriage has always been DH's exoectations of what I should and shouldn't be doing. It's complex. On the one hand, he absolutely understands when I talk about things like free time for sanity, costs of me going back to work, fair division of labor, etc. At the very same time, he seems absolutely convinced that I'm just not trying, and if I would just do what he thinks I should do, his world would be full of unicorns. It's part of what we're working through, and logic has absolutely no place here. I have to figure out how to cope with how things are. I've been trying to change them for 10 years. I can't walk that road anymore.

 

Thanks for all the great advice and love. It helps so much.

 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :001_wub:  :001_wub:  :001_wub:

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Tonight I am taking the boys to the ILs so I can have a girls' night out. The overtime stress is getting to DH and things feel tense right now. He hasn't been home before 9 pm all week. When he is home, he exudes a bubble of negativity.

The overtime stress is also getting to my boys. They get needy and clingy and uncooperative when Daddy works long hours. I hope they don't throw fits when I drop them off. I need a few hours of adult time, and I need to go to the store sans kids to buy birthday presents.

 

Also, I need a drink.

 

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It is January. That means both of my boys are due for their annual checkups, but I don't want to make the appointment. I feel like going in to the pediatrician office right now is just asking for the flu.

 

 

There's no harm in delaying a month or two, other than needing to remember the change later.  I vote wait for the flu rush to subside.

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Appointments that I need to schedule:

 

rheumatologist

neurologist

gastroenterologist

pediatrician x6

dentist x3

periodontist

massage therapist

 

 

That's a bunch!

 

I'm ignoring listing the doctor appointments I need to schedule until next month.  I know there are several that are overdue, though I could also get in slightly earlier on the cat's check-up in that spree.

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I have done this. :001_wub:

 

 

I had a surreal experience once while driving with a friend to another town a few hours away.  We drove into a blizzard and ended up tailgating a semi far too closely, but it was our only chance of seeing the stripe at the edge of the road (we were in the small clear tunnel of the vortex right behind the big rig).  We (us and the big rig) pulled off at a truck stop once we reached it and we all sat and waited until the blizzard lightened where we were.

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Yes, he is. And this is exactly what I mean. His expectations...it isn't that he overloads me with daily tasks or whatever. It's more his constant dusapproval of what I can accomplish in a day. Mostly, right now, it's his expectation that I should be earning an income and studying for a career that is difficult. When am I supposed to do those things, and do what I already do? I'm more or less ignoring it, but he's tired after his first full week back at work, so I feel a confrontation coming on. One I am trying to sweetly defuse (sp? I'm tired), and will do my best not to participate in. When he's tired and stressed, he starts thinking about how much easier his life would be if he could quit and find a job he liked better, or if he didn't have to earn all the money, or whatever. He's selfish, but then again, who isn't?

 

I can only do what I can do, you're right. I'm working to disassociate myself with his moods. I need to read Codependant No More again. No, my issue is the dawning realization that I'm 20 lbs overweight, I'm not studying anything for my own interest, I'm not writing anymore, and I have no close relationships. I'm on the verge of my own depressiom, and my kids need a healthy parent. Counseling is, unfortunately, not possible right now. So I'm trying to figure out how to do what must be done, even if only in small doses, regularly enough to add up. There is nothing ideal here. I'm going to try survival schooling (for lack of a better term) right now and work on exercise and maybe some mindfulness meditation. Maybe yoga. I dunno. But something to help me physically deal with stress, because I'm getting to the point of not sleeping.

 

My DH is really a dear man in many ways. I know I won't change him, or even make him understand. I'm not sure yet about the long term sustainability of all this, and I am praying, but I'm also trying to be practical with what's happening today, ykwim?

 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:   Survival schooling is quite appropriate right now.  So is play.  Could you maybe see a way to schedule in a few time slots during the day of maybe 10 or 15 minutes where you get to take a play break with your kids?  It doesn't have to be right on the scheduled minute if a butt needs wiping or whatever, but get yourself a few of these breaks every day.  Run around outside.  Play a board game or other game.  Be silly.  Just be a kid with your kids for a few minutes.  You can call them Mommy's play breaks, and tell your kids that while there's a lot of work you need to do you also need a chance to just play, even if it's only for a few minutes at a time.

 

Play breaks can give you some more physical activity.  They will also be joyful time spent with your kids, which will boost all of your spirits.  Hug tag is a good game when other games aren't beckoning.  The play breaks will also give you a brief change of pace and focus, which helps brains reset and clear pathways so they can resume thinking more clearly.

 

I have never found a kid who didn't approve of play breaks for parents.

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((Bookie)). You can be real with us. We care about you.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

 

Please do be real with us, Bookie.  Don't worry about keeping up a cheerful front here.  We'll be happy to listen and offer what we can.

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DS was measured at the doctor’s office today. He’s officially 6’ tall. And he’s 14 years old. Help me, Rhonda!!

 

 

Krissi's DS, meet my nephew, also 14 and at least 6' tall.  You two can commence gazing down at the rest of us.  Don't step on Aunt Sue.

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:drool5: Mmmmm. I saw this, and asked Dancer, "Hey, isn't a true that a baker can take any recipe and adjust it for high altitude?" She assured me she could. :D I then asked if she could take any high altitude recipe and convert it for lower altitude. She was like, sure, it can take some time. So I told her she should get busy with my favorite high altitude baking book so it'll be ready when we move to Texas.  :laugh:

 

 

This will be a very handy exercise for her!  Once she figures out the trick please share it here.

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Morning!!

 

I slept better than I thought I would, by sleeping semi-reclined. Now I'm up for the day, I guess. I just used my sinus rinse bottle and am sitting here now, with peroxide in my ear. It just feels like sinus stuff. I might go buy elderberry later. And I'm already using gelsemium and Sudafed and stuff. Any other ideas?

 

 

Steamy hot tea, or hot water with lemon and honey.  Drink it as hot as you can stand to, and in the meanwhile hold your face over it to catch the steam and warm and breathe it in as best you can.

 

GOOD chicken soup, too.

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I have completed about a third of it so far today.  I'll resume tomorrow.

 

So did you get it finished yet?

 

What age would you use D'Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths with?

 

 

IIRC I read it to the kids when Celery was 8. Broccoli had just turned 5, and he listened to only some of the stories; he was a bit too young.

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Edpo:

 

Would you read Howard Pyle's Robin Hood first, or King Arthur? I'm leaning towards Robin Hood - it seems a little easier (my kids are not *that* familiar with old-fashioned language, and reading it out loud isn't always so easy either). 

Edited by luuknam
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Edpo:

 

Would you read Howard Pyle's Robin Hood first, or King Arthur? I'm leaning towards Robin Hood - it seems a little easier (my kids are not *that* familiar with old-fashioned language, and reading it out loud isn't always so easy either). 

 

Disclaimer, I haven't read Pyle's King Arthur.  But I still vote Robin Hood because it's funny.  I'm doubting King Arthur has as many funny parts.  

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Bookie, my situation is not the same but DH used to drop hints all the time about how I should get a job and how if I wasn't homeschooling, I could get a job, and talk about his coworkers who were 2 income families and how awesome it was. It was maddening because I'd have LOVED to get a job! I never could understand how such an intelligent man who was in charge of hiring others couldn't see that it wouldn't work. He was always kind and respectful, but I still found it hurtful. Homeschooling and being a SAHP was never my dream and it just rubbed it in to me that he didn't get the sacrifice I was and have been making. 

 

First, my degrees were old and my contacts were in other states. I'd have to go back and take a couple classes to update myself and meet some people for references. But mainly, our kids had so many issues requiring so many doctors' appointments. How could I start a new job and say that I needed off 1-2 times a week at a minimum during the day for my kids? DH would not be able to do it because of his job. And then, I felt like he totally disregarded the good I was doing with homeschooling- as if the school would have been just as good. It would not have been good at the time because of their issues and issues with the school, and educationally, I have been repeatedly vindicated. Even the kids that I felt were significantly behind are doing exceptionally at school and ahead of their peers in most areas. My DD who went back to school at the youngest age drives us crazy. I wish I could bring her home- her education, behavior, and mental health would probably improve. 

 

I think it's more common to have these tensions about SAH parenting and 2 income families than it is to have both parents perfectly in sync. 

 

Perhaps you could suggest that your DH could give you time to volunteer. One barrier to employment is a lack of current contacts and work experience. You could sell it to your DH as you are volunteering to make connections in the community and to gain experience that you can use to help you gain a paying job later. It gives your DH hope that you are working to stay employable, and gives you some time away with adults doing something productive for your mental health. Or could you teach classes online like Renai? I think you need a degree but I don't think they care what it's in. 

 

 

Edited by Paige
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Vopo.

 

Celery threw up, proceeded to eat a bunch of cheese and crackers, and now is lying in bed not quite asleep. And then I proceeded to read some ITT, and just finished 2666, the page about the flu. Great. 

 

I don't know if he's got the flu - I think not, because he isn't complaining about hurting or w/e. 

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Are we married to the same d*mn man????

 

I could not keep up working and keeping house. Go back a thousand or so pages and read my anguish. Never mind, you have your own. That's why I'm home, and I don't even have four kids. I work part-time from home and am still tired...

 

:iagree: What they said.

 

There will be no husbands on the island. The only men will be hot male servants. In loincloths or palm fronds. I cannot wait.

 

:mellow:

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My retirement plan - get enough money for a tiny house for the backyard.  Go sleep in it at night.  No galumphing elephants are allowed to wake me up!  Especially on Saturday morning.  And especially when they come out, rattle around loudly waking me up and then decide to go back to bed so that now I have to tiptoe around because I refuse to be a galumphing elephant. 

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