lanalouwho Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 For smoke smell removal: Febreeze anything that's fabric twice a day for about a week. Baking soda or carpet powder on the carpets- leave for at least 40 mins before you vacuum it up. You might have to repeat this. Wipe down the walls and baseboards with warm soapy water. And leave open containers of baking soda in every room. I am so happy that you and the board books are safe, and that your Dad is there for you. Stay strong. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Bookie have you checked around for a women’s shelter? I would not want young kids around weapons that may be loaded or where ammunition may be accessible. Could you persuade DH to find a new living situation and let you and the kids return without him? It would be a way for him to show good faith and accept responsibility. To be honest, if you can’t trust him to be safe around you in your home, you can’t be sure of your safety at your parents’ home if he knows where you are. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Bookie, don't ever make major decisions from a place of exhaustion and perceived desperation. My advice would be to try to get to a place of stability where you are and away from the threat. It's easy for the other person to make promises; you need actual changes. Is there anything in the world stopping him from going to counseling NOW? By himself? FWIW, his behavior now ABSOLUTELY fits the profile of an abuser. I'm so sorry that you and your kids are riding this emotional rollercoaster. Please please please call the hotline numbers and get yourself some support. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanalouwho Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 As for the guns and swords, please don't try to check if they're loaded if you don't know how to work them. Make sure they are on safe and lock them away (or, preferably, have your Dad take them somewhere the kids won't be able to get to them). Conditions might not be ideal right now, but you can fix that in time. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Bookie, don't ever make major decisions from a place of exhaustion and perceived desperation. My advice would be to try to get to a place of stability where you are and away from the threat. It's easy for the other person to make promises; you need actual changes. Is there anything in the world stopping him from going to counseling NOW? By himself? FWIW, his behavior now ABSOLUTELY fits the profile of an abuser. I'm so sorry that you and your kids are riding this emotional rollercoaster. Please please please call the hotline numbers and get yourself some support. Listen to JJM. Wise she is. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 (edited) Bookie, it's pretty normal to have everybody grumpy, not sleeping, and having difficulty in a new place with everything you and they have been through. Have your Dad help you. I second JJM's advice about leaving the ball in your DH's court when it comes to counseling and getting help. You've done your part and more than your part. Now it's his turn to make the changes he needs to make. Edited February 8, 2018 by Critterfixer 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Agreeing with JJM. Also, let's not quote anything regarding bloody noses or weapons and let them be deleted into oblivion. We don't want anything that looks remotely negative floating around the interwebs. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Also, I would mention the situation to your lawyer as far as what you should do when your DH calls. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 (((Maize and Kernal))) How goes it today? JJM, what an amazing story! Get well soon, Mr. Whitehawk! Okay, ya'll, I need your help. I am PMing you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Bookie, it's pretty normal to have everybody grumpy, not sleeping, and having difficulty in a new place with everything you and they have been through. Have your Dad help you. I second JJM's advice about leaving the ball in your DH's court when it comes to counseling and getting help. You've done your part and more than your part. Now it's his turn to make the changes he needs to make. (((Bookie))) This is good advice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 (edited) Yeah, my dh made promises too. The last time, I drove around in my car and refused to go home until he was out. He was not going to change while we were together. If he was, it would have already happened in the umpteen years. That night, he tried to get in by climbing through the window in the middle of the night (he was drunk). Scary stuff. (I don't think I shares this with ITT at the time.) Please don't go back there - whether he's there or not. This was 2.5 years ago for us, and Gymnast still considers a good husband to be one that "won't climb through the window at night and scare her." It was after this that he started going to AA. I didn't let him back in the house until several weeks of it.JJM is right. Also, returning is a dangerous time for families escaping an abusive environment. They try to control even more, and leaving is even harder.Can you wear Squishy while you cook? Even a long piece of fabric tied around the both of you works. It will keep him out of the way. The children are going through the emotions too.Call the support lines and get all of you help. Are you in the process of getting a restraining order yet? Edited February 8, 2018 by Renai 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 ((Bookie)) I echo and concur with all the advice the gals have mentioned. I prayed for you this morning!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Jean is always gracious. Not true but thank you. Fortunately I don’t always type what I think. (Not talking about the ITT here but the Sea. ) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 A lot of praying for the ITT going on here this morning. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Bookie have you checked around for a women’s shelter? I would not want young kids around weapons that may be loaded or where ammunition may be accessible. Could you persuade DH to find a new living situation and let you and the kids return without him? It would be a way for him to show good faith and accept responsibility. To be honest, if you can’t trust him to be safe around you in your home, you can’t be sure of your safety at your parents’ home if he knows where you are. CAUTION. I don't like this part. At all. DO NOT put yourself in the situation of negotiating with an abuser. You are handing over power. DON'T. DO. THAT. You need a lawyer. The lawyer gets a kick out order. Period. And I will also caution you: A restraining order is a good thing, BUT IT IS A PIECE OF PAPER. Talk to DV victim advocates; they will give you practical advice re. safety practices. As for the weapons. Don't overreact. Your dad is there. Your dad is willing to help you. Ask him to help store them. One can get extremely cheap storage lockers at WalMart. It's not a big deal. Where I live, most home would qualify as arsenals; safe storage is an EASILY surmountable obstacle. You are in far greater immediate danger from a volatile spouse than from an inanimate object. The second can be handled easily, so go with that. I'm praying for you all, especially for peace, strength, and healing. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 I just realized that I hadn’t said good morning yet. Good morning. â˜ï¸ Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Oh my goodness, I lost another pound! Five now total. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 I just realized that I hadn’t said good morning yet. Good morning. â˜ï¸ Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Good morning! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Good Morning Afternoon. I didn't sleep well again last night, so I went back to bed for second sleep. Did an hour of productive homeschooling. Now we're getting ready for lunch. This day is going by fast! ;) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Oh my goodness, I lost another pound! Five now total. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Yay for 5 lbs. lost!!!!!! :hurray: :hurray: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 I just realized that I hadn’t said good morning yet. Good morning. â˜ï¸ Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Good morning, Jeannie!!!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Good morning, Jean. I haven't gotten past the anti-caffeine headache yet. I get one by 9 or 10am. And I because of it, have had one diet coke each day around lunchtime. Then no more caffeine and no more headache til next morning. Today is only day 2, though. How much longer? Am I messing it up by having caffeine midday? I don't know, but can you gradually decrease the amount of Diet Coke each day to wean off slowly? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Is making sure you reach your step goal the only difference? How many steps? Oh! And congratulations and great job!!! I upped my step goal from 3000 to 6000 steps. I have gone through some really bad fibro flares in the last month because of it. Conventional medical opinion is that you should slow down and rest if you have a flare. (Which I have always done in the past) but this time I gritted my teeth and walked anyway. Also I am testing my bloodsugar 5x a day. Fasting and two hours post prandial for three meals and one snack. I have been making food choices based on my bloodsugar numbers. My numbers have been coming down. I have also been stocking up on those “Sargento Balanced Break†snacks with are a small amount of cheese and trail mix for snacks. It’s premeasured for me and includes protein. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Ps to Angi. My sugars were not good at some meals no matter what I did at first. While I was still tracking them I would “ignore “ those numbers because I knew that I was making healthy choices (good portions, healthy ratio of veggies and protein) and over time my sugars have been getting better with the exact same meals. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Good to know! Thanks! I have been doing a lot of ignoring of my body this last month. I credit the ITT with teaching me how. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Hey! Is someone around here losing pounds??? I seem to be finding extras.... :001_tt2: I'm just kidding! YAY, Jean!! That's awesome! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Hey! Is someone around here losing pounds??? I seem to be finding extras.... :001_tt2: I'm just kidding! YAY, Jean!! That's awesome! :D I know, right? I was down a couple pounds and I think I gained it all back at last night's dinner. And I brought half the dinner home! Dh is at the dentist. He needs some serious dental work done for cracked/broken molers and now that our tax refund is in, he can finally get it done - today is just a regular cleaning, but he is supposed to schedule the other work. I'm hoping they will give him an estimate. Halfway through my shopping trip at Aldi, my lungs and head started getting that "heavy" feeling. I did my ears when I got back and need to do it again soon. I might just be extra tired from not sleeping well last night. We're having turkey-mushroom masala with rice and mixed green salad for dinner. Easy peasy. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 I got to work to day and my boss isn't here. Looks like he took a page out of my playbook and is working from home. :D Update: He casually walked in late, acting like he'd been here all morning. LOL It's good to be king. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Good morning, Jean. I haven't gotten past the anti-caffeine headache yet. I get one by 9 or 10am. And I because of it, have had one diet coke each day around lunchtime. Then no more caffeine and no more headache til next morning. Today is only day 2, though. How much longer? Am I messing it up by having caffeine midday? You might try something like decaf tea. It has some caffeine in it, but not as much as a soda or a regular cup of tea. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Butbutbut...that's the funnest kind! :crying: I agree! Around my house, it goes something like this: Me: Someone left the seat up. DS: Fake news! DS: You burnt my tortilla. Me: Fake news! DH: DS says you missed vision therapy. Me: Fake news! :LOL: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 (edited) Back from art. Much paint was splashed on paper, and good fun was had by all. My new apple picture is coming along nicely and everyone got a kick out of the apples to peppers painting story. ETA: It's a Paint-Po Booyah! Edited February 8, 2018 by Critterfixer 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 DH is home sick. :/ :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 PPS for Angi. The stoopid bone broth might be helping with the weight too because I drink it (yes, still) at night and the high protein might keep my sugars stable overnight. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Stain-po: Blue toothpaste on a white shirt. I'm letting it harden so that I can scrape it off. It worked on the small splotches. I'm probably going to get an ice cube to freeze the large globs and then scrape those off, too. :svengo: 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ikslo Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 CAUTION. I don't like this part. At all. DO NOT put yourself in the situation of negotiating with an abuser. You are handing over power. DON'T. DO. THAT. You need a lawyer. The lawyer gets a kick out order. Period. And I will also caution you: A restraining order is a good thing, BUT IT IS A PIECE OF PAPER. Talk to DV victim advocates; they will give you practical advice re. safety practices. :iagree: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 (((Maize and Kernal))) How goes it today? JJM, what an amazing story! Get well soon, Mr. Whitehawk! Edited to because it wasn't wise to post so much. We're doing well enough; not getting worse. Hopefully getting better. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 I have been working on my room - clothes that people have outgrown, school work that needs to be filed, school books and resources that piled up for some reason and need to find a shelf (the result of throwing piles in my room from downstairs when we have friends over. :eek: ) Now my bed is covered with semi-organized piles. :svengo: I also cleaned out my night stand, including throwing away informational pamphlets from my first child birth class and hospital. :eek: (But I kept our old lists of baby name choices. :tongue_smilie: :laugh: ) 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Kid: I don’t know what to do. Me: I just explained it to you. Kid: I still don’t know what to do. Me: the Light Unit gave very clear instructiOns, which I just read to you, and gives good examples. Kid: I still don’t know what to do. Me: get a piece of paper and follow The instructions. Kid: you just get mad at me. You are always mad at me. I just don’t understand. I think I need to walk down the street right now and scream really really loud. Or maybe get a sledge hammer and take out the shower or something. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Kid: I don’t know what to do. Me: I just explained it to you. Kid: I still don’t know what to do. Me: the Light Unit gave very clear instructiOns, which I just read to you, and gives good examples. Kid: I still don’t know what to do. Me: get a piece of paper and follow The instructions. Kid: you just get mad at me. You are always mad at me. I just don’t understand. I think I need to walk down the street right now and scream really really loud. Or maybe get a sledge hammer and take out the shower or something. It's like you're in my house. A highlighter just went skidding across the table in frustration over a perfectly simple writing assignment. Copying a list. Yeah... :glare: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 I'm trying to pull together the energy to do laundry. Because we do need clothes to wear. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Methinks it is time for popcorn. I've got a week break coming up, but it can't get here fast enough. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 I'm trying to pull together the energy to do laundry. Because we do need clothes to wear. I'm still trying to talk everyone into two basic tunics and a toga for Sundays, but I can't get any takers. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 I want to take a sledgehammer to my shower too! Me too! Please! Not that I’m particularly frustrated with anything. My shower is just gross. Me too! And I would have done something about it a long time ago but dh and I disagree what that something is. I want a maintenance free shower stall. He wants to replace tile and glass with...... more tile and glass. :blink: Because that's really going to solve the problem. :rolleyes: :D 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 I'm just so squeamish about textures! I'm scared the broth will taste oily! It does and that’s what I don’t like. But the hotter it is right out if the microwave the less I taste the oil. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 I want to take a sledgehammer to my shower too! Me too! Please! Not that I’m particularly frustrated with anything. My shower is just gross. Me too! And I would have done something about it a long time ago but dh and I disagree what that something is. I want a maintenance free shower stall. He wants to replace tile and glass with...... more tile and glass. :blink: Because that's really going to solve the problem. :rolleyes: :DWe actually are going to do something to our shower, too. It is a nice size shower with 2 sides tiled and the other two are that plexiglass and it is disgusting. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Essential equipment (at least for me) for homeschooling teenage turtles is a good popcorn maker. Amazing how hard it is to argue with your mother when your mouth is full of popcorn. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 We actually are going to do something to our shower, too. It is a nice size shower with 2 sides tiled and the other two are that plexiglass and it is disgusting. I'll be interested to know what you end up doing and how you like it, etc. Just in case we ever do something. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 You know the book John Dies in the End? I have no idea what it's about but I think it's the title of our day as well. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renai Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 You know the book John Dies in the End? I have no idea what it's about but I think it's the title of our day as well. Dying is not allowed. Neither is killing. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Noooo! The stoopid useless TM for the lab manual (a different edition because that was all that was available online) yet again is missing the multipage assignment that I need to grade. Grumble. Time to look up the bones of the pectoral girdle and upper limb. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.