Kiss and Cry (college disappointments)

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Does any one want to share any of their disappointments?

 

We are frustrated that one of the rolling admissions schools DS applied to back in December has yet to send any notification.  Calls to the school have resulted in no information except a response of "There is no decision.  Call back if you haven't heard by the end of the month."  The school advertises decisions within 3-5 weeks.  It's been over 12 weeks since DS submitted his application; the school acknowledges the date for receipt of application.  The school only offers merit aid to applicants accepted by March 1.  As a result of their indecision on DS's application, we know that even if he is offered admission there will be no money to help make attending the school possible.  We are sorely disappointed that a school with such an outstanding reputation as this one enjoys would play these kinds of games.This is easily a match school for DS; his stats place him well above the top 75%.  Admitted applicants have shared their stats on College Confidential and DS's stats are higher or similar.  We are particularly sad because this was the one school in his birth state (our home state) to which he applied and he would have family within a few hours drive for long weekends and holidays.

[Jenny in Florida]

That must be incredibly frustrating. I'm so sorry.

[Kareni]

How frustrating!  Sending sympathy your way, Scoutermom, and hoping for positive news on other fronts.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[lmrich]

how frustrating

[creekland]

It sure sounds like something got lost somewhere along the line.  I agree that it's frustrating though.   :grouphug:

[Gwen in VA]

I am so sorry.

 

That is so weird given that they say his admissions file is complete.

 

We have had colleges have issue with the number of transcripts, saying that the PAH transcript (for example) doesn't have all his classes. Duh -- it only has the ones taken there, but we did send you a transcript with everything on it! But a phone call or two resolved the situation.

 

But since the admissions office says the application is complete? Wow. You must be SO frustrated.

[Lawyer&Mom]

Maybe it's yield mangment. They might want to reject him before he rejects them. Keep their stats up!

[Teachin'Mine]

Sometimes the colleges you most expect acceptances from are the ones which will deny or waitlist as they expect the student will be admitted to "better" colleges and not accept the offer.  As was said, they may be protecting their yield.  It may also be purely financial as they might be trying to limit the amount they give out through merit scholarships.

 

This time last year was so stressful for me as waiting was difficult.  Everything becomes much clearer once all the offers are in hand.  Hope he ends up at the best college for him.  Hang in there. 

[Jen in NY]

This yield discussion is very interesting ... on the case western college confidential thread there are many, many waitlisted kids with amazing stats. Speculation is that Case is trying to up it's yield... last year it was ~15%.

 

My dd was waitlisted, and I think it's because she didn't visit and didn't show a whole lot of interest (by visiting the website while signed into her applicant account.... she didn't sign in at all!) We had visited when dd#1 was looking a couple of years ago, so dd#2 already knew that she liked the campus. I can see why Case would think it wasn't likely that she would go there, though.

 

I think if many of those waitlisted kids prove that they are genuinely interested in Case they will probably be accepted, and Case will raise it's yield numbers. I hope I remember to check their numbers next year to prove my theory. :)

[FaithManor]

Scoutermom, ((((hugs))))

 

I do suspect that a yield issue is behind it which is supremely frustrating but has nothing to do with the quality of the applicant.

[Teachin'Mine]

Dd was waitlisted at Case too and had also not demonstrated any interest.  She would have been happy to attend, but she would not have chosen it over other choices.  They were right in protecting their yield.  Dd didn't pursue any of her waitlisted schools.

[8filltheheart]

Ds was accepted last yr to Case and he didn't do a thing other than apply. They had 3 full-ride scholarships and that was what he was aiming for and didn't receive. I guess he impacted their yield BC even with the huge scholarship they did offer, it was way too expensive for hi. To even consider.

 

One thing to watch on Case's site on CC is the late announcements of scholarship $$. Last yr after ds turned his scholarship down. I went on to the page to read and people were receiving scholarship $$. So it appeared that not only did they accept people off the waitlist, but gave out the unaccepted $$.

[miamom]

I know exactly which school you are speaking of since we are in the same boat as you. She applied in early November.  Her good friend applied in September with lower stats, has already been accepted with a nice merit package. I was told early February but no decision yet.  Frustrating!

[Teachin'Mine]

I still think that Case and others waitlist or deny students based on protecting their yield or not being able or willing to meet financial need.  I would imagine that when they evaluate the likelihood of a student attending, they not only look at stats, but at the family's finances.  What they usually don't know is the parent's intent as to what they are able or willing to spend towards the student's education.  Case is a great school and would likely have been a good fit.  It was also the school with the lowest ranking and the highest acceptance rate out of all dd applied to, so we were considering it an admissions safety.  It was one of the decisions which surprised us the most.  In hindsight and having run the NPC, there is no way she could have afforded to attend as their aid would have been considerably lower than any of her offers and would have left an impossible gap.  That's what they knew, and we didn't.  The low percent of need met should have been our clue. 

 

A full ride scholarship is certainly worth trying for.  I have no idea what scholarship dd applied for, or even if she applied. Applications are just a blur at this point.  I tried to find a full ride scholarship now, but I can't seem to find one for Case.  They may have discontinued it, but I have no idea.  They do have several partial or full tuition scholarships.  Maybe some of those stack to equal a full ride.  No idea.

 

I think that the waiting is even harder for homeschool moms.  We have more invested and we're more involved in the process.  With each decision I tended to second guess what I did in my role as guidance counselor.  Did I answer that question the best way, did I give enough into, did I explain enough, was my advice on or off target ... these were some of the questions.  But in the end, the majority of the schools she applied to were "lottery" schools as those were the ones with generous aid.  And for those schools, there's any number of reasons why someone could be accepted, rejected, or waitlisted.

 

So for those waiting on schools, especially the rolling admissions ones which should have given their decision weeks ago, I feel for you.  Hopefully within a couple of weeks time, all will have received good news and can start shopping for dorm room accessories. 

[teachermom2834]

I find this really intriguing.  I don't have a super high stat kid but it would be so frustrating to feel like even the safeties aren't safe because scores might be too high.  I guess showing interest is the way to guard against that.

 

It actually makes sense in regards to Rhodes College.  I have heard demonstrated interest is very important there.  I can see how kids applying to Vanderbilt and Davidson could use Rhodes as a safety when it isn't really their top choice.  I can see how Rhodes would want some indication that they aren't  just the safety.

[8filltheheart]

I thought there were 3, but I only found 1 listed currently as full-ride:

 

Milton A. and Roslyn Z. Wolf Scholarship Consisting of full-tuition, room, board, fees, books, and elective summer experiences that provide complementary life-shaping practical knowledge, the Milton A. and Roslyn Z. Wolf Scholarship is a four-year scholarship awarded based first upon character or a student’s demonstrated potential to be a leader and “make a difference in the world†and secondly upon their academic performance, intellect and accomplishments.

 

 

I don't think that is one he even applied for.  I thought it was a science one, but it is all a blur now anyway.  Most of Case's scholarships are automatic, but they are far from covering the total COA.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Maybe it's yield management. They might want to reject him before he rejects them. Keep their stats up!

 

If that's the case, why not just send the denial letter after the three weeks?  They already have his stats and his application fee. Keeping an applicant in limbo for this long is pointless.

 

[TravelingChris]

OUr frustration isn't with rolling admission but rather early application.  DD will be calling tomorrow.  We have no idea what is going on since while they said she should get her acceptance by Feb 10th, we knew it was going to be later because of complications on both ends.  But when she last talked with them around that day, they made it seem like she was getting notification any day.  We will see.

 

 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Still nothing from the school in my original post. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

OUr frustration isn't with rolling admission but rather early application.  DD will be calling tomorrow.  We have no idea what is going on since while they said she should get her acceptance by Feb 10th, we knew it was going to be later because of complications on both ends.  But when she last talked with them around that day, they made it seem like she was getting notification any day.  We will see.

 

Any news?

[*LC]

Sorry to hear about this. I have 2 completely different thoughts on it.

1st The application will be seen, and he will eligible for all scholarships he would have on at the earlier day. The school knows they have those applications a long time, and they will be responsible in acting upon them as if they accepted by the earlier date.

2nd Somehow the school lost a batch of applications and doesn't have a clue what to do. So, they show is the system, but the school doesn't have the materials to act upon. And, they don't know what to do about it (or they are trying to recreate the lost material.)

This happened at a camp my kids and niece went to for years that was a hard to get into. One year, we received weird, conflicting emails about your daughter is in, your daughter is not in, ignore the previous email you will hear by XX, etc. In the end, I never received the final info even though I had received an email saying "my children" were in after the original barrage of emails. I called and was told they didnt have a record of her at all. It all worked out and she went to camp.

If your son never hears or doesn't receive scholarship offers, I would ask for my application money back since something obviously went wrong on the college's end. If he is extremely interested in this school, I would have him call (again) and offer to resend everything since his original application seems stuck in the process.

Sorry for such a crazy added stress.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Sorry to hear about this. I have 2 completely different thoughts on it.

1st The application will be seen, and he will eligible for all scholarships he would have on at the earlier day. The school knows they have those applications a long time, and they will be responsible in acting upon them as if they accepted by the earlier date.

2nd Somehow the school lost a batch of applications and doesn't have a clue what to do. So, they show is the system, but the school doesn't have the materials to act upon. And, they don't know what to do about it (or they are trying to recreate the lost material.)

This happened at a camp my kids and niece went to for years that was a hard to get into. One year, we received weird, conflicting emails about your daughter is in, your daughter is not in, ignore the previous email you will hear by XX, etc. In the end, I never received the final info even though I had received an email saying "my children" were in after the original barrage of emails. I called and was told they didnt have a record of her at all. It all worked out and she went to camp.

If your son never hears or doesn't receive scholarship offers, I would ask for my application money back since something obviously went wrong on the college's end. If he is extremely interested in this school, I would have him call (again) and offer to resend everything since his original application seems stuck in the process.

Sorry for such a crazy added stress.

I hope you are correct regarding point #1.

 

For point #2 ~ I would have accepted this but there are many others reporting similar circumstances on College Confidential.  It seems, from recent posts and emails, that rejections went out within the 3-5 week time frame.  It's the acceptances that are being withheld.  My belief is that the school admitted a large number of applicants in the first couple of months and is now waiting until applications are withdrawn before admitting anyone else.  It does appear, again from CC and private email, that the school is slowly sending out acceptance letters by date of receipt of application.  From what I can tell, the school is now in early-mid Dec.  If DS is going to receive an acceptance, I would assume it would be within the next couple of weeks.  I just wish the school was upfront about the way applications are treated. This sort of ad hoc waitlist is unnecessary.

 

I am sorry to hear about your DD's camp application experience.  I am quite happy that it had a good outcome.

[GoodGrief]

My daughter had a similar experience with U of Mich two years ago, which is a rolling admissions school, supposedly.  It was frustrating, because visits to colleges from our geographical location are time consuming and expensive, so we didn't want to go without an admission.  And it was a school that we did not want to rule out, because with the GI Bill, it was financially our best bet. 

 

In the end, no visit needed; she was waitlisted...but not until MID-APRIL!  Ridiculous.  She did call a few times to indicate ongoing interest, etc. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

We finally heard.  He was waitlisted.  :glare: Oh well.

 

I am glad this thread isn't getting much use.  I hope that means most students are receiving acceptances. :coolgleamA:

[Teachin'Mine]

I don't know about this year's applicants, but dd was waitlisted at quite a few last year.  I think for some it's just that they didn't make it into the few who are accepted, but for others, it's a way to protect their yield as they think the student is either "over qualified" and will choose a "better" college, or they can't or won't offer sufficient financial aid to make it possible for the student to attend.

 

If your son really does want to attend there, he might want to send an email and talk with his admissions rep to help them see that if accepted off the waitlist, he really will attend.  Of course if others are higher on his list, he may want to find out decisions on those schools first.  He can also ask if some of the merit scholarships might be available to those accepted off the waitlist.  I'd guess that some of the original recipients may choose to attend elsewhere.

[rzberrymom]

If your son really does want to attend there, he might want to send an email and talk with his admissions rep to help them see that if accepted off the waitlist, he really will attend. Of course if others are higher on his list, he may want to find out decisions on those schools first. He can also ask if some of the merit scholarships might be available to those accepted off the waitlist. I'd guess that some of the original recipients may choose to attend elsewhere.

My kids are little, but I just wanted to say that this was my experience too with grad school. I was waitlisted at Princeton, and the best advice anyone gave me was to keep working as if I were still getting ready to apply--I took another calculus class, I updated my resume and my activities, and then I emailed them a few times to say "I just wanted to update you on my recent progress..." I got a full scholarship including room and board (4 other waitlisted kids did as well), so there's still hope even with waitlisting!

[Shelly in VA]

Ds was waitlisted (I know, not an outright denial, but still disappointing!) at William & Mary and also at Wake Forest. He was also denied at Washington & Lee University. We've decided that "W" schools are not for us.  :glare:

 

Even with other acceptances and offers on the table, it's still hard to accept the disappointments. But it's a great life lesson... And ultimately it helps with the decision process!

[creekland]

:grouphug:  to all getting disappointments.  It is frustrating and depressing.

 

I can offer encouragement in that the vast majority of students end up liking where they go even if it wasn't their first choice.

 

It can also be worth it to treat oneself (and student) to ice cream or something else they enjoy.  It's not as much a reward as an acknowledgement that life goes on and a toast to that.  Life does go on, and it's worth it to enjoy what can be enjoyed. 

[chiguirre]

My son was waitlisted at one school, and asked which waitlist he wanted to be on. Looks like a scam to me....many students use this school as a backup if they cant get Into an Ivy....so they get waitlisted a few days before Ivy decisions come out. Of course those who are rejected from higher ranking schools will select the 'this school is my first choice' waitlist since it is the only one left that is not a state school. I would rather see an initial admissions category of 'I didnt aply to an Ivy and you arent my backup...I am middle class, wont be eligible for a dime of financial aid, and need a school for serious students that offers merit aid'.

Actually, if they really take the kids from the "This is my first choice waitlist", that's a clever solution to the USNWR ranking metrics. If they allow people to choose their list on April 16, that's an awesome work around that lets them take the losers from the Ivy lottery while appearing more selective. That benefits everyone! It's like Moneyball with college rankings!

[FaithManor]

It benefits the rich, but it does not benefit middle class children who have the ability and achievements to do the work, but not the $70k for tuition .They might as well go straight to state school. Or in states like CA, maybe to a CC honors program. Or run a business for a while.

I agree that taking middle class kids that had been hoping for something more selective - Harvard and Cornell for instance are VERY generous in terms of heavily discounted tuition - and then offering them a spot at the last minute without scholarships which have already been given away is not going to increase yield. It just doesn't. It has been my recent experience that high scoring kids in the middle class often study themselves into the ground not for the prestige of being high scoring, but because mom and dad don't have the savings to put them through school and no matter where they land, they need merit aid because FAFSA will net them nothing.

 

The top 15% of the nation's schools have gotten away with this waitlisting of top students for many years, but I think that with more and more students and parents looking at total indebtedness in relation to employment statistics, rising inflation, and stagnating wages, the willingness to go into debt for selective school A when there is a perfectly decent option offering merit aid without the waitlist game is looking a lot more attractive to middle class families who comprise the bulk of college bound students. The number of families willing or able to pay full freight even half freight at an expensive school has been steadily shrinking.

[Teachin'Mine]

Just want to clarify that Harvard, Cornell and most of the most selective colleges do not offer any merit scholarships, but there are exceptions.  They are usually very generous with their financial aid and thereby offer need based aid to families with higher incomes which would not normally qualify for need based aid.  For example, a student with a family income up to 180K may qualify for need based aid at Harvard.  That is one of the most generous.  The difficulty is getting in.

 

I don't see how colleges could, or should, eliminate a waitlist.  They can't possibly know with certainty how many of the accepted students will actually attend and need to undershoot somewhat to ensure they're not overbooked for dorm rooms.  Recently some colleges have been surprised by higher than expected yields and ended up with a larger class than they wanted.  But obviously there are other reasons for waitlisting at some schools.

 

Heigh Ho maybe your son can write them a heartfelt email about how much he wants to attend and it's his first choice and not waiting on ivy decisions and needs help with the costs ...  It can't hurt. 

 

To all who have students waitlited, rejected and are still waiting on decisions, Creekland is right and all should work out well in the end.  The admissions process will soon be over.  Hang in there.  :grouphug:

[chiguirre]

If you get waitlisted at a school, you probably aren't in the top 5% of applicants unless maybe you applied late in the cycle to a rolling admissions school. You probably aren't going to get a lot of merit aid from the school even if they admitted you instead of putting you on the yield-managing waitlist. If you know you can't attend because of the cost, it's time to put that school in the no pile and choose your best available option. There are lots of strong public schools out there so it will all work out.

 

:grouphug:

[FaithManor]

Just want to clarify that Harvard, Cornell and most of the most selective colleges do not offer any merit scholarships, but there are exceptions.  They are usually very generous with their financial aid and thereby offer need based aid to families with higher incomes which would not normally qualify for need based aid.  For example, a student with a family income up to 180K may qualify for need based aid at Harvard.  That is one of the most generous.  The difficulty is getting in.

 

I don't see how colleges could, or should, eliminate a waitlist.  They can't possibly know with certainty how many of the accepted students will actually attend and need to undershoot somewhat to ensure they're not overbooked for dorm rooms.  Recently some colleges have been surprised by higher than expected yields and ended up with a larger class than they wanted.  But obviously there are other reasons for waitlisting at some schools.

 

Heigh Ho maybe your son can write them a heartfelt email about how much he wants to attend and it's his first choice and not waiting on ivy decisions and needs help with the costs ...  It can't hurt. 

 

To all who have students waitlited, rejected and are still waiting on decisions, Creekland is right and all should work out well in the end.  The admissions process will soon be over.  Hang in there.  :grouphug:

Sorry, didn't mean to imply that it was merit per se because the schools are so selective that everyone "merits" aid, but that they meet "need" on a very generous basis depending on how it's defined in order to help. It's not "scholarship" exactly because everyone admitted is a top flight student, but it's also not a "bottom line" picture like it is at so many other schools because their version of "need" is very different from the average school.

 

IF ds got in, we could actually afford Cornell. Crazy but true! We'll pay more for current DS at U of MI than we would for middle boy at Cornell. Of course the key is getting in, and if he were waitlisted we simply would not wait if the offers from U of MI, MTU, and such were good. That's the point I was trying to make. Waitlisted kids really can't wait very long if they have decent offers from other schools and for excellent students that is so very often the case. While I think the current system of waitlisting has worked in the past, I don't think it's going to work well in the future as long as wages continue to stagnate and inflation continues. That was the point I was trying to make.

[Tsuga]

I am so sorry for everyone stuck in this situation.

 

I am inclined to do a poll with survey monkey to see which colleges are doing this and to whom it's happening. If they aren't going by test scores with an allowance for SES / hardship essays, what are they selecting based on!?!?

[*LC]

We finally heard.  He was waitlisted.  :glare: Oh well.

 

I am glad this thread isn't getting much use.  I hope that means most students are receiving acceptances. :coolgleamA:

I'm sorry it doesn't look like it will work out for your son at that school. (I do know someone who was wait-listed at a school before being accepted in May or June,so there is hope. She went on to graduate from the school.)

 

I never thought about the idea of colleges making decisions based on what they assume a student will do if accepted. That seems wrong to me. My father has a college friend who brought his grandson to their college for a visit his junior year. After hearing his information, the admissions people told him he did not have the scores to get in as a freshman, so he didn't apply. The kid went to a different big state school, but only made it through freshman year. He is now at a regional 4-year school. 

 

Personally, I think college ranking should be based only on the students that attend the school, not on those that are rejected. I read this article on how colleges can play the rankings game.  

http://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/article/2014/08/26/how-northeastern-gamed-the-college-rankings/

 

 

P.S. I knew the camp issue wasn't like college admissions, but I wanted to show that crazy computer issues can pop up even for organizations that do the same thing every year. I just ran out of time to type that part. While the camp "waitlist" did make planning that summer crazy not knowing what was happening until late spring, it had no long-term implications like college would.

[Tsuga]

 

I never thought about the idea of colleges making decisions based on what they assume a student will do if accepted. That seems wrong to me. 

 

It is. I used to think people at College Confidential (a message board) were paranoid when they suggested this was the case.

 

But when consultants came to our college and told us we should use FAFSA and other data to target students who had us as a first choice, I realized this is probably really going on at the brand name schools and flagships with more money in a much more sophisticated way. We are a community college, so we are the first choice for very few who file the FAFSA without being enrolled somewhere, and the whole thing was just weird. If a student files the FAFSA senior year we are almost always last choice, in case they don't get aid from a four year. That is fine with us. But it was funny that they mentioned FAFSA order! It goes to show how screwed up and gamed the system is.

 

FTR, we never took that piece of advice. Instead we are focusing resources on the students who are most in need of help to stay in school.

[Teachin'Mine]

Sorry, didn't mean to imply that it was merit per se because the schools are so selective that everyone "merits" aid, but that they meet "need" on a very generous basis depending on how it's defined in order to help. It's not "scholarship" exactly because everyone admitted is a top flight student, but it's also not a "bottom line" picture like it is at so many other schools because their version of "need" is very different from the average school.

 

IF ds got in, we could actually afford Cornell. Crazy but true! We'll pay more for current DS at U of MI than we would for middle boy at Cornell. Of course the key is getting in, and if he were waitlisted we simply would not wait if the offers from U of MI, MTU, and such were good. That's the point I was trying to make. Waitlisted kids really can't wait very long if they have decent offers from other schools and for excellent students that is so very often the case. While I think the current system of waitlisting has worked in the past, I don't think it's going to work well in the future as long as wages continue to stagnate and inflation continues. That was the point I was trying to make.

 

Just wanted to clarify for those who are new to the college selection process.  Until recently I never had any reason to know the difference between merit scholarships and financial aid.  Even when I explain to people, they still say that dd has been given a full scholarship. 

 

I hope your son gets good news from Cornell. The top private schools are usually less expensive than the public state schools for all but the highest earners.  I imagine that holding out for an acceptance off a waitlist would be hard for students from the point of view of waiting longer and needing to accept or decline the other offers by May 1st.  From what I've read here, dorm choice can be affected by the date a student accepts and submits their deposit, so there's more incentive to follow through on an acceptance.  For the top schools it's such a small percentage, if any, who get admitted from waitlists, but it does vary from year to year. 

 

[TravelingChris]

Dd was waitlisted.  She found out while we were in San Antonio visiting Trinity University.  She rejected the waitlist.  She has three good schools to choose from and she did not want to wait until June to find out and change her mind.  Plus, we didn't think that spending money to send her there to look at the school when she was waitlisted was a great way to spend our money and she would rather go volunteer at a Statewide Boy Scout Event (her only open weekend except Easter when she is singing solo).  The administrations of all three other schools were so much more accommodating of both of our disabilities and our circumstances so she is thinking that it was for the best.  It probably would continue to be a big hassle administratively which neither her or I need.

[purpleroses]

My dd wanted to attend Duke. Duke was her dream school. Duke rejected her :( She also got rejected from Harvard another school she had interest in. Rejection sucks

[creekland]

My dd wanted to attend Duke. Duke was her dream school. Duke rejected her :( She also got rejected from Harvard another school she had interest in. Rejection sucks

 

:grouphug:

[Granny_Weatherwax]

DS was waitlisted by his top choice.  Drats. 

 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

My dd wanted to attend Duke. Duke was her dream school. Duke rejected her :( She also got rejected from Harvard another school she had interest in. Rejection sucks

 

My DS was rejected from Duke, too.  :(  :grouphug:

[purpleroses]

My DS was rejected from Duke, too. :( :grouphug:

Sorry to hear that Scouter :( I know rejection sucks. I will give Duke props for their rejection letter. It was very formal and nice. DD is still crying her eyes out though.

[Teachin'Mine]

Sorry to hear that Scouter :( I know rejection sucks. I will give Duke props for their rejection letter. It was very formal and nice. DD is still crying her eyes out though.

 

I just read your other posts about the 42 colleges she got acceptances (and waitlists) from.  Congratulations to her on acceptance to Princeton and the others.  Hopefully she'll be able to find a good fit out of them in the end.

[Lynn in Caribbean]

I shouldn't be disappointed because, really, my dd got "textbook" results.  

 

"Reach" schools are by definition schools where you might not get accepted, since they are, after all, reaches.  She did not get accepted at any of her reach schools.

 

"Match" schools, where you can probably get accepted, but probably won't get scholarships  - she was accepted at her match schools but no scholarship money at all, so not a financial possibility.

 

At her "safety" schools - she was accepted at all 3, with generous scholarships at all three.  She will be going to one of her safeties.  Which is fine, really.

 

I should be proud of her, and I am proud of her for these 3 scholarships.  These are schools she really likes.  So the end result is, she will go to a school she likes, with a really nice scholarship.  Why do I feel so disappointed?  Well, I guess it was fun to dream.  And I really thought she MIGHT get into one of the reach schools. 

 

OK, thanks for listening. I just needed to say that to somebody, that I'm disappointed.  And I don't want to say it to her.  I don't want to tell my amazing daughter who has 3 scholarships in hand, that I am disappointed that she is not going to a big-name school. So I am telling you guys. :) There!  I said it!  I'm over it!  Now, I can just forget about all of this crazy college stuff, and get on with life!!!!

 

All the best!! 

[Lynn in Caribbean]

I shouldn't be disappointed because, really, my dd got "textbook" results.  

 

"Reach" schools are by definition schools where you might not get accepted, since they are, after all, reaches.  She did not get accepted at any of her reach schools.

 

"Match" schools, where you can probably get accepted, but probably won't get scholarships  - she was accepted at her match schools but no scholarship money at all, so not a financial possibility.

 

At her "safety" schools - she was accepted at all 3, with generous scholarships at all three.  She will be going to one of her safeties.  Which is fine, really.

 

I should be proud of her, and I am proud of her for these 3 scholarships.  These are schools she really likes.  So the end result is, she will go to a school she likes, with a really nice scholarship.  Why do I feel so disappointed?  Well, I guess it was fun to dream.  And I really thought she MIGHT get into one of the reach schools. 

 

OK, thanks for listening. I just needed to say that to somebody, that I'm disappointed.  And I don't want to say it to her.  I don't want to tell my amazing daughter who has 3 scholarships in hand, that I am disappointed that she is not going to a big-name school. So I am telling you guys. :) There!  I said it!  I'm over it!  Now, I can just forget about all of this crazy college stuff, and get on with life!!!!

 

All the best!! 

[Wildiris]

I shouldn't be disappointed because, really, my dd got "textbook" results.  

 

"Reach" schools are by definition schools where you might not get accepted, since they are, after all, reaches.  She did not get accepted at any of her reach schools.

 

"Match" schools, where you can probably get accepted, but probably won't get scholarships  - she was accepted at her match schools but no scholarship money at all, so not a financial possibility.

 

At her "safety" schools - she was accepted at all 3, with generous scholarships at all three.  She will be going to one of her safeties.  Which is fine, really.

 

I should be proud of her, and I am proud of her for these 3 scholarships.  These are schools she really likes.  So the end result is, she will go to a school she likes, with a really nice scholarship.  Why do I feel so disappointed?  Well, I guess it was fun to dream.  And I really thought she MIGHT get into one of the reach schools. 

 

OK, thanks for listening. I just needed to say that to somebody, that I'm disappointed.  And I don't want to say it to her.  I don't want to tell my amazing daughter who has 3 scholarships in hand, that I am disappointed that she is not going to a big-name school. So I am telling you guys. :) There!  I said it!  I'm over it!  Now, I can just forget about all of this crazy college stuff, and get on with life!!!!

 

All the best!! 

 

Above, my sentiments exactly. What bothers me is to read about some kids over at College Board that got into all the top ranked schools, taking placement slots away from others, just so they can say they got in? Sadder too, are the posts from valedictorians or top of their class students that didn't get in any of the most selective colleges, who had almost perfect test scores, grades, and extra curriculars. No, the doors of education are not open to all, but if you can pay full tuition, those doors do open regardless of academic standing.

 

Next time around:

If my middle school child should write a book, cure cancer, or become a sports celebrity of some sort, I don't think I will encourage her to apply to any reach schools. It is a hollow promise aimed at middle class ambition. Those reach colleges of single digit acceptance rates will gladly take your money then reject your student. Those colleges are banking on your ambition. Example: 2014 Stanford fielded 44,239 applicants at $90.00 per application=$3,981,510. 

 

Moving on. :)

[Jen in NY]

 Sadder too, are the posts from valedictorians or top of their class students that didn't get in any of the most selective colleges, who had almost perfect test scores, grades, and extra curriculars. No, the doors of education are not open to all, but if you can pay full tuition, those doors do open regardless of academic standing.

 

 

 

I am not arguing about the application charge.... they do collect a serious chunk of change for applications. But it's my understanding that at most of the top schools admissions is need blind.... am I wrong?

 

(Not that there aren't other factors regarding admission that we could debate.... such as colleges trying to create a more gender balanced class of engineers... etc.... etc....)

[Wildiris]

Need blind?? Colleges claim they are need blind, but if a student can pay full tuition or will benefit a sport-football or basketball, a college will admit the athlete and the full paying student over an academically superior student in need of financial aid. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I am not arguing about the application charge.... they do collect a serious chunk of change for applications. But it's my understanding that at most of the top schools admissions is need blind.... am I wrong?

 

(Not that there aren't other factors regarding admission that we could debate.... such as colleges trying to create a more gender balanced class of engineers... etc.... etc....)

 

I know some schools advertised as Need Blind Admissions but...when DS and I toured one top 20 (No merit aid) school we were told by an admissions rep that without a doubt financial aid played a factor, especially in Early Action applications.  She told DS that if financial aid was a necessity for attendance he should not apply EA but should wait for RD.  As it turned out, DS was waitlisted at this school.  I wonder if it was because we needed a large FA package in order to make it a feasible option.