zarabellesmom Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 Tell me I'm not alone. Things are pretty bad here right now. My youngest has not been diagnosed or treated, though I finally worked up the courage and placed the call today. Of course, I got voice mail and left a message. No call back. :( We have had bad weather and I'm thinking the office may have been closed today. Now that I've made up my mind to do it, I really just want to get on with it. Last night my little one asked me if she would ever not be scared again. It was heart breaking. She was bundled up in my arms with the lights on, lullabies playing and she was still too frightened to go to sleep. She hasn't let me leave her sight all day. She even showered with me. :( Anyone in a similar boat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 You're not alone. We started my youngest on meds at 5. I felt horrible but it was the best parenting decision we've ever made. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 My anxious child is older than six, but I remember those days. They were rough and I didn't get enough sleep. What finally helped me was to set my child up with a counselor and then direct the child to write the counselor email whenever necessary. I know it sounds awful, but I had to protect myself too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Journey Posted February 27, 2015 Share Posted February 27, 2015 My now 20 year old was an anxious child. We didn't go to a counselor. I just let her know that her fears are real and I just spent alot of time holding her 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonesinIndiana Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 My older daughter has anxiety associated with Developmental Trauma Disorder (PTSD in kids). We co-slept which helped foster attachment (she's adopted) and my go to line was always, "I'm a good and strong Mommy and I will take good care of you." What worked for us for her (and her sister) was to have them on a need to know basis. For example, if we had something scheduled like a dental appt or a play date, I would not tell them about it until we were ready to go, literally, walking out the door. If they expressed anxiety with the event with questions, etc. I would use my go to line. YMMV. I wish you and your little one well. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 You're definitely not alone.My oldest has Generalized Anxiety Disorder in addition to (or as part of, depending on who's handing out opinions on any given day) Autism Spectrum Disorder. He has been on medication since he was seven, that's been one of the two biggest best decisions we made for him (the other being homeschooling). It has been a hard road, but if he's on his meds, he's a pretty cheeful, stable, functional guy most days at this stage of his life. But I think he'll probably always need the meds. My daughter has been going down the anxiety road too this past year or so, and her pediatrician has put her on a low dose of meds. That seems to be helping a lot. I think in her case it's probably a temporary thing while she processes her way through a bit of an emotional pile-up, and I think in a few months, or a couple of years, she'll be fine. She told me the other day that she's sometimes afraid to sleep because she worries that when she wakes up I'll be dead. The last time I had a migraine she missed school for a week (a contributing factor in why she's now homeschooled part time). This is clearly related to the stroke I had two years ago when my husband took me to the hospital in the middle of the night and she woke up to find me gone, in the hospital, and not sure if I'd live, or die, or how bad the brain damage would be. (I'm pretty much fine, but it was scary for all of us.) I think for a while she just blocked it out and wasn't dealing with it at all, so probably the anxiety means she's starting to be able to face it, and process it, and move on; she's just not there yet. But yeah...anxiety in kids is definitely hard on moms. I think seeking help is a good decision. Hang in there. :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zarabellesmom Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 My older daughter has anxiety associated with Developmental Trauma Disorder (PTSD in kids). We co-slept which helped foster attachment (she's adopted) and my go to line was always, "I'm a good and strong Mommy and I will take good care of you.". We like to play this game called musical beds. My oldest sleeps fine alone in her own bed, but she really likes to sleep in my bed. I put them in bed together in my bed. This keeps the youngest from being alone. Then DH and I can go downstairs and hang out for a little while. When we go to bed, we move them to their own beds. That lasts till about 1 when my little one wakes up in a panic. I bring her back too my room and my husband goes to the guest room. Last night I couldn't get her back to sleep. She was stuck to me like glue and shaking. She lay awake upset for an hour and a half. Of course I couldn't go to sleep after that. Ugh. It made for an exhausting day of home schooling. We checked out early. :( Last winter was probably worse. We had sleep issues, though they weren't this bad, but she was terrified of germs. She washed and sanitized her hands until they cracked and bled. We were part of a co-op and she was out of the classroom every five minutes, sometimes less, to see me and tell me she didn't feel well and to ask if she was dying and did she have a bug in her ear. She won't go to the bathroom by herself. She won't go in any room by herself. She wouldn't pull her violin out of the closet last night because she was afraid there was something in the closet. I was less than five feet from her but she was still terrified. She won't stand in front of windows becauseshe doesn't want the zombies to get her. She is also very irritable. Putting her in timeout is a real challenge. I want her to sit until she is calm and we can talk, but she yells at me when she can see me and if she can't see me she's terrified because she is alone. Last night my husband turned the chair around so that she was facing the wall and she was still hysterical because she couldn't see us, plus angry and yelling hurtful things at me. I was an anxious child myself. I grew into an anxious adult. I take medication that manages my depression and anxiety. I am sympathetic, but helping her is beyond me. We need help. We need someone who knows how to deal with this because my husband and I are at our wits end. I just want her to feel better. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndOfOrdinary Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Mine slept with me until 2.5, then began coming in in the middle of the night to sleep with me again pretty much until he was 7. No diagnosis, no meds, but it began to be OCD like when he was around a year old so we started working on it really early. I really do feel that homeschooling has saved us here. I cannot imagine my son trying to make it work in public school. There would definitely be meds then. Sometimes once a day, but mainly 2 or 3 times a week it is a "freak out." By 10 now, he is able to start to recognize and talk himself down. Well, he starts the talking but it doesn't work until we snuggle and really go through this elaborate deal. Honestly, one of the things the pediatrician told us to do with tiny DS was to start having him involved in something he felt he had control over. That is what began all his activism. We just went to tree plantings and such because he was freaked out when he heard about global warming. The kid just took off at the idea he could control his surroundings. That energy which was obsessing and anxious turned into energy that went toward something. I do not know if that would work for anyone else, but it is working again as my son is panicking over other various academic things now. Ped also mentioned to watch out for early ulcers. This is really common among anxiety kids. As he put it, "reglardless of what various studies say, years of experience has shown me that ulcers appear - for whatever reason - in kids with lots of anxiety." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mc26 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Yes, my 12 year old has Generalized Anxiety Disorder (and Aspergers, and a few other things). We go through periods of relative calm and quiet and well-being and then, not. He sleeps with us. We tried medication a few years ago, but it was a disaster. He is a sweet, affectionate, really smart kid. but he nearly had a panic attack in Trader Joe's yesterday (sensory overload). Homeschooling has been a fantastic choice for us! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Yep. Meds helped a lot. So has therapy to help her avoid mental traps like catastrophic thinking. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I would also suggest that you call her pediatrician for an appointment for a physical and blood work. Occasionally the anxiety can be caused by a medical issue. Have them test her thyroid, blood sugars, bit B& D levels, kidney and liver functions etc. Most likely they will all come back normal. If so, then at least you have a baseline before starting meds. If something shows up you can start treating that asap. We started meds at age 3 and it was the best decision we made. We have anxiety, mood disorder and other issues. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmith Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Ds has an anxiety disorder along with Asperger's, SPD and a tic disorder. We went through a very rough period when he was about 7 where I couldn't leave his sight along with many other issues. It was awful and heartbreaking! Medicine was and still is necessary, and will probably always be needed. At that time his sensory issues were exacerbating his anxiety, so he also needed intense therapy for that. He's been more anxious recently, so we may have to adjust meds. He`s also been having a difficult time lately with obsessive scary thoughts, so I've been looking for a therapist although he is very resistant to the idea. I hope you find the help your youngest needs! :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 My son also has OCD in addition to some other issue (autism spectrum/ADHD). For his future, the autism is my biggest concern. But in day to day life here, the OCD when it was really bad was by far the most difficult and disruptive. I never dreamed it could take over the way it does at it's worst points. I have never felt so helpless as I did. I'm sorry she, and you, are suffering. :grouphug: If you want to seek therapy, please see someone who is listed on the OCD foundation (online) provider list). It has been my experience that someone not specifically trained in OCD can be worse than no one. You may already know that. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 You are not alone. Our oldest has severe anxiety issues and a panic disorder caused by Lyme and Bartonella. She is often up til the sun rises becuase she is too terrified to fall asleep at night. The worst night was recently when I heard her crying and went to check on her and she said to me, "I'm sorry I woke you, I'll try to cry quieter." She has auditory and visual hallucinations that are terrifying and sometimes it helps for me to sit with her but more often it doesn't. She has a mattress in the living room and she is on it with every light in the house on and netflix most of every night because the shadows in her room scare her. She has some medications that are supposed to help, but when she flares, it is never ending. It should resolve with treatment, eventually, but it's a long hard road. I hope and pray you can get help for her, it is awful. :grouphug: :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Yes, Peter has unspecified anxiety disorder which the psychiatrist says will probably be relabeled generalized anxiety disorder at some point in the future. He also has a diagnosis of ASD and no one would be surprised if eventually he is diagnosed OCD and ADD. Peter started on meds in November and so far we are still playing around with his dosage. I haven't seen major improvements, but I have high hopes. Wendy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zarabellesmom Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Some of you are definitely struggling with bigger problems than we are. Thank you for sharing your experiences all of you. It's nice to know I'm not in this boat alone. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 (Hugs) I'm an anxious mum with an anxious kid. We're just now coming to terms with it. I wish we'd recognized it was something earlier. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 My children deal with complex developmental trauma. They all have some anxiety. My 6yo is medicated. I'm considering medication for my 7yo (thinking he just may not be able to progress academically if we don't do something). My 9yo doesn't need it. Tinkerbell (4) has been on medication a short time. I'm thinking of trying to pair that down and see how it goes. Sissy's (7) situation is more complex so we will wait and see (she hasn't even started visits yet, much less moved in, so we have plenty of time anyway). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonesinIndiana Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Some of my daughter's anxiety (sleeping issues) has been helped with essential oils. I do not sell them but when she tells me they are helping I am a willing customer. Prayers for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zarabellesmom Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Some of my daughter's anxiety (sleeping issues) has been helped with essential oils. I do not sell them but when she tells me they are helping I am a willing customer. Prayers for you and your family. In not really a believer in that sort of thing... But my SIL sells essential oils and has given me a number to try with no effect. Again, sceptical, I've tried dietary supplements as well. I don't think anything short of a professional is going to be able to help us. :( I have been and continue to be willing to try anything though. Thank you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 In not really a believer in that sort of thing... But my SIL sells essential oils and has given me a number to try with no effect. Again, sceptical, I've tried dietary supplements as well. I don't think anything short of a professional is going to be able to help us. :( I have been and continue to be willing to try anything though. Thank you. We found that 1000mg of EPA (not just total fish oil) really helped to "grease" our dd's little nervous system and help overall BUT like you said, it was in addition to meds, not in place of it. We still use the fish oils and they still help but we also still use meds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zarabellesmom Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 I've used fish oil myself, not EHA, and couldn't tell any difference. Ill look into EHA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryE Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 My teen daughter has a great deal of social anxiety. Sometimes panic attacks, where it just loops and loops. Very hard for her and the rest of the family. She's aware that therapy (and possibly meds) would be good for her, but she's anxious about starting! I do worry about her - she'll be starting college next fall. While I know she has coping mechanisms that work to some extent, being away from home may be a whole other ball game. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Shamrock Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Praying so sorry so hard God Bless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I made the mistake of not being open to meds earlier. One of mine suffered much more than she should have. She really lost most of her childhood and teenage years to anxiety. Even though she was in therapy, it was not enough. Meds made a night and day difference very quickly. I will not wait again, especially since it's become very obvious that there's a genetic basis with many relatives dealing with the ADHD, anxiety and depression combo. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SageRebel Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Both of mine had similar issues. They have trauma anxiety. My middle has it the roughest. She is my aspie baby, on top of the anxiety. If I get mad at her she will beg me not to abandon her again. She gets violent, and throws things. Both of my kids it took them almost a year to let me pee alone, 2 months to get the oldest out of my bed, 3 for the middle who is now sleeping with her sister. They won't sleep alone. The wake up and have to check to see if I am there, and wake me up. I spend most of my day with them attached to me. I am an aspie with, pstd, and depression. Its not easy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zarabellesmom Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 The doctor's office returned my call this morning. They currently have a six to eight week wait. I guess that's ok. We've waited this long, right? They asked me if I was interested in medication or therapy. How to answer? I want what works, whatever that may be. They are going to start us with one of their psychologists and then will refer us to one of their psychiatrists if they think that's necessary. I suspect it will be. I'm glad they have both in their group. I think that will make my life easier. It would really be nice if I didn't have to drive an hour to their office, but I guess that's what comes of living in the middle of nowhere. If your child has or currently receives therapy, how frequently did that occur? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Each situation is different. Knowing the distance you have to drive, the therapist may be proactive in giving you activities to do at home. They may recommend a medicaiton and you'll need to come back for follow ups during the adjustment period. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 The doctor's office returned my call this morning. They currently have a six to eight week wait. I guess that's ok. We've waited this long, right? They asked me if I was interested in medication or therapy. How to answer? I want what works, whatever that may be. They are going to start us with one of their psychologists and then will refer us to one of their psychiatrists if they think that's necessary. I suspect it will be. I'm glad they have both in their group. I think that will make my life easier. It would really be nice if I didn't have to drive an hour to their office, but I guess that's what comes of living in the middle of nowhere. If your child has or currently receives therapy, how frequently did that occur? That's a great start. I would let them know that I was open to coming in on short notice if they have a cancellation, and that I was open to both meds and therapy. Honestly, for something as severe as what you described in the OP, I would definitely want to try meds right away. Therapy isn't going to get her on an even keel quickly enough, imo, and meds can be done in conjunction with therapy. If she hasn't had a thorough physical work-up, including blood tests, I would do that ASAP in order to have the results in time for this visit. I usually get my bloodwork results within a few days. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Eliminating nitrates was a HUGE help when our daughter was having anxiety attacks often. We had her take baths with lavender almost every evening and we did lavender oil on her temples before bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zarabellesmom Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 That's a great start. I would let them know that I was open to coming in on short notice if they have a cancellation, and that I was open to both meds and therapy. Honestly, for something as severe as what you described in the OP, I would definitely want to try meds right away. Therapy isn't going to get her on an even keel quickly enough, imo, and meds can be done in conjunction with therapy. If she hasn't had a thorough physical work-up, including blood tests, I would do that ASAP in order to have the results in time for this visit. I usually get my bloodwork results within a few days. This is a very good idea and she is due for a checkup anyway. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 That's a great start. I would let them know that I was open to coming in on short notice if they have a cancellation, and that I was open to both meds and therapy. Honestly, for something as severe as what you described in the OP, I would definitely want to try meds right away. Therapy isn't going to get her on an even keel quickly enough, imo, and meds can be done in conjunction with therapy. If she hasn't had a thorough physical work-up, including blood tests, I would do that ASAP in order to have the results in time for this visit. I usually get my bloodwork results within a few days. I TOTALLY agree with this. Often they get cancellations and you can get in sooner. The blood work is very important too.......ask for thyroid, blood sugars, anemia, kidney and liver function, Vit B and D levels, etc. If it is all normal you have a great baseline before starting meds. If anything is off, you can start addressing that right away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TianXiaXueXiao Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 We have an excellent workbook titled "What to do when you worry too much." It's been a great help for my daughter with anxiety. Also, read the book Freeing Your Child from Anxiety by Tamar E. Chansky. There is a Kindle version for immediate satisfaction. I hope this helps. Peace be with you. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maus Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 We have an excellent workbook titled "What to do when you worry too much." It's been a great help for my daughter with anxiety. Also, read the book Freeing Your Child from Anxiety by Tamar E. Chansky. There is a Kindle version for immediate satisfaction. I hope this helps. Peace be with you. I'll second both book recommendations. My older kids take their copies of "What to do when your brain is stuck," from the same series as "Worry too much" to every therapy session. The kid friendly explanation of anxiety (or OCD in "Brain is stuck") is done so well that our therapist, who hadn't heard of the series before we brought it in, bought a copy to loan to his adult clients to help them really grasp their own disorder. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zarabellesmom Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 We have an excellent workbook titled "What to do when you worry too much." It's been a great help for my daughter with anxiety. Also, read the book Freeing Your Child from Anxiety by Tamar E. Chansky. There is a Kindle version for immediate satisfaction. I hope this helps. Peace be with you. I own the worry too much workbook. I'll check out the other book. Thank you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 We have an excellent workbook titled "What to do when you worry too much." It's been a great help for my daughter with anxiety. Also, read the book Freeing Your Child from Anxiety by Tamar E. Chansky. There is a Kindle version for immediate satisfaction. I hope this helps. Peace be with you. Peter's therapist tried to use that book with him. Peter was so worried about a book about worrying that they never made it as far as opening it. They spent 6 weeks working up to looking at the front cover, but every time the therapist suggested opening it just to look at the title page, Peter hid under the chair cushion and had a panic attack. We put the book on a back burner until Peter's medication is more well established. I'm glad to hear the book has helped a lot of people, though, in case some day we do manage to read any of it. Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Yes yes! Histamine and mast cell disorders can also cause anxiety and panic at tacks and it is entirely physiological - it is also treatable, and in a way that can be less deleterious to the developing brain than a lot of common prescribed anxiety meds. An allergist/immunologist should be able to help you rule out any issues or adjust diet to help heal the body and keep the symptoms at a more manageable level (or even completely resolved, if histamine issues are primary to the anxiety. My dd9 felt awful last year and had signs of a mast cell disorder. Claritin helped a lot with that and she didn't feel nearly as crummy on a daily basis and the dermagraphia and stomach issues almost entirely went away. The other problem is she has low blood sugar. I really haven't found a doctor who is too helpful for that one. I think the important thing I need to do is to supply snacks for before bed and make sure she doesn't go to bed hungry. That's guaranteed to give her a bad day the next day. We dealt with that today as a matter of fact. Pale, tired, grumpy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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