walkinlegends Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I have 4 boys - a 3rd grader, 1st grader, will add a Kindergartener in the fall, and 2-year-old. They play SO HARD. With minimal squabbling, they occupy themselves together, with Legos, card games, Stratego, make-believe, etc. I have such a hard time making them stop to do work, especially when they're playing well together and just being buddies. But then I also feel vaguely guilty that our school day isn't more structured. Ideally we'd get started at 9 every day - that way we can be done by lunch, with just a literature read-aloud in the afternoon. But when they're so happily busy I don't want to interrupt them - but then our day stretches out and gets a bit more disjointed later on. Any thoughts?? I'm not a natural take-charge, leader type, so setting our own schedule always feels hard for me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3in9th Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Make up a list of daily goals for each kid and then say they have to complete a certain number before they get an hour break to play, do this a couple of times a day. As they get older, that play time will need to shrink down to maybe half an hour, but my teenagers still break to play. It's one of the joys of homeschooling. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmasc Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I'm in about the same boat, minus one boy. ;) I have 3, ages 9, 6, and 4. They will hands-down choose playing together (sometimes without even fighting!) over school. It is very hard for me to stop them when they're actually playing well together. However, I know that as the day goes on, they will get more tired, more grumpy. I do NOT want to be doing math and reading with tired, grumpy kids! So that's my "kick in the pants", FWIW. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Oh, have I got a GREAT BIG KICK IN THE PANTS FOR YOU!!!!! LOL I had the exact same issue with my three when they were younger. They are each about a year and a half apart in age, and they play(ed) so well! This was me... Look how sweet they are! Play is the work of childhood, you know! We are homeschoolers! We can go on our own schedule, whatever that is! We can be flexible! This is what homeschooling is all about! Until it is NOT. At a certain age, with a certain amount of work needing to be accomplished, with a certain number of children needing to be educated, and with a singular mother to be doing the educating of this certain number of children, it's time to get cracking! So then it became... Sweetie, it's time to do blah blah blah. Sweetie? No, not just a minute. The day is wasting. Your education is important...(insert Charlie Brown teacher-talk here because actions speak louder than words)... By my actions in those early years, I taught them the lesson that school isn't that important relative to play. I often said play was the work of childhood, and I believe(d) it. But...if I've made one mistake in homeschooling my three (and I have, LOL, at least one... :lol: ), it was not starting organized, scheduled work and holding them to a high standard earlier in their education. Grueling? No. Hours and hours with nose to the grindstone? No. That is not even close to how I operate. But scheduling official school time, prioritizing their education, and teaching them to prioritize their education during school hours? Oh yes. Should have done better... Much better. I fixed the runaway train, but it would have been easier for us if we had a more sure start. I will say that in this house, the youngers follow the older, except that I have boy, girl, boy. My younger boy is 99% likely to follow my older boy in hijinks, while my girl is more likely to pity me, make me a cup of tea, and do some work. LOL So I recommend getting your 3rd grader on board, pulling him into a work hard, play hard frame of mind. It is interesting for me to note (although there is logic to it, I'm sure) that my kids began to enjoy school much more when I started scheduling us and taking my job as a teacher more seriously. I had to lure them back in at first, especially my oldest, but they became pretty doggone cooperative kids (now 12, 10, and almost 9) who take their education seriously. In your shoes, I would start by scheduling the 1st and 3rd grader for maybe 2 hours worth of solid school work, with something fun at the beginning and end (art? history project? science experiment?) while I let the K'er and 2yo play. Then do an hour of play-school with the K'er. Or vice versa if the K'er is an earlier riser. FYI if setting your schedule feels hard for you now, it will only get harder when they are moody tweens, if they are not in the habit of setting aside work time every day. And this tip is free! Make handwriting a priority. :D 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I have to ditto all Alte Veste wrote. It's the whole Charlotte Mason "good habits make smooth and easy days." I have a firstborn girl, so this might be easier for me to say, but you want a 10yo who is heading toward some independence, especially with youngers coming up needing your attention. The handwriting really isn't for a "pretty hand" (not that you allow sloppy), it's so they can write fluently and writing is about the thinking and writing, not so much about the skill of handwriting. I have my Ker do 15 minutes a day of that with me, 2 pages of math, 15 min or so of reading to me, spelling words list and she joins us for other stuff. But, those listed things are non-negotiable. We may miss one of those on any given day, but she expects they need to be done ( even through her whining :-/). Be tough! You can do it ! Your guys deserve it! And the. Reward yourself and them with great afternoon playtime! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 It's the whole Charlotte Mason "good habits make smooth and easy days." Oh my goodness, YES! When I started out, I was pretty CM, and I remember reading the habit training stuff over and over and over and over, thinking it sounded great but not really absorbing how it really should be your PRIMARY FOCUS in those early years. And even more than focusing on the children's habits, you should focus on your own habits. I was in the habit of making the house ready for school (which was a great deal like being the tennis ball pick-up girl, if you know what I mean...which is to say that it was a never ending project!). I was in the habit of reading on my own and having a hard time being pulled out...especially of planning. Planning, planning, planning, but procrastinating the doing. Not a good trait in a homeschooler! LOL Had to focus on that habit and fix it! (And recognizing that I don't know you from Adam, so this is not an accusation, so only as a potentially helpful reminder...) Be sure to look at your web habits. If the internet signal needs to go off between 8 am and 8 pm, then do it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raining Pineapples Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 If the kids all play together well in the morning, maybe you can take turns pulling each of them aside for any one-on-one work that needs to be done. Then your other children will be occupied so you can focus on just that subject and child? Maybe start the rest of the schooling at 10. Just a thought. I only have 2. They alternate between arguing and playing well together. The times where they are playing nice, I really, really hate to stop it. My brother and I always fought and we will never be close. I want my kids to develop a close relationship. The thing is, mine figured this out and were taking advantage of it. Suddenly my son wanted to play with dolls in the morning with his sister. My daughter would sit quietly and watch my son play with his transformers for as long as I allowed it. I wouldn't start school until the fighting began-usually around lunch. We were doing school late in the evening with a lot of whining involved and often things such as handwriting or that book I wanted to discuss did not happen. We often did science after dinner or have Science Saturdays to make up some of the lost time. (Not saying yours are doing this-just what happened with us!) I finally told them we will start school work at 9. If they want to play together in the morning, they need to get up earlier. Now the school work gets done and the kids love having their afternoons free. We get to do extra science projects, watch documentaries or they get to play outside with all of the extra time they now have. Dragging school out all day was wearing us all out. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherry in OH Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Our days flow much more smoothly with routine. Ours is play, breakfast, dressing/grooming, morning lessons, play, lunch, afternoon lessons, done. Afternoon lessons are the hands-on fun stuff. In our house transitioning from play directly to lessons meets with opposition. But, transitioning from play to meals does not. I have reading books piled on the sofa and seatwork ready before I call them to breakfast. I get afternoon materials ready while they have their late-morning break. That way the children don't have to wait, and thus get involved in their own things, while I gather resources. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I agree with scheduling when school is going to take place and stick with it, within reason. I've been known to delay the start when both boys are up to their elbows in writing stories. But in general I've got a day mapped out, and we get it done. But now, some encouragement! School doesn't have to be the place where play, cooperation and fun stop. It's a different kind of fun. It's a different kind of play. And it's a perfect place for cooperation, sharing, brainstorming and laughter together. We certainly have days when we drag. But we have a lot of fun together, too. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walkinlegends Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 Thanks all! Lots to glean from!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g1234 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 nm 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruitofthewomb Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Oh my goodness, YES! When I started out, I was pretty CM, and I remember reading the habit training stuff over and over and over and over, thinking it sounded great but not really absorbing how it really should be your PRIMARY FOCUS in those early years. And even more than focusing on the children's habits, you should focus on your own habits. I was in the habit of making the house ready for school (which was a great deal like being the tennis ball pick-up girl, if you know what I mean...which is to say that it was a never ending project!). I was in the habit of reading on my own and having a hard time being pulled out...especially of planning. Planning, planning, planning, but procrastinating the doing. Not a good trait in a homeschooler! LOL Had to focus on that habit and fix it! (And recognizing that I don't know you from Adam, so this is not an accusation, so only as a potentially helpful reminder...) Be sure to look at your web habits. If the internet signal needs to go off between 8 am and 8 pm, then do it. I totally agree with all you have had to say. Great advice that I can wholeheartedly say-yes! Listen to her!! An aside: I am so glad to know I am not the only one who plans but then doesn't actually carry out those plans! It is a major weakness & I have to work hard to avoid falling into that planning trap! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmyboys Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I could have written your exact post-down to the ages of your boys. I will say that until very recently I was ok with being very relaxed about school. I loved that my kids had free time. I hated to pull them away from writing their own stories, creating a town with blocks and train tracks, etc. Lots of times I felt like what they were doing was more beneficial than what I had planned. Plus, I wanted to enjoy the ability to go on field trips while we had it. I do feel that those times need to come to an end. My 3rd grader really is starting to need more than lessons snuck in here or there. I also need to be more consistent with my 1st grader. Since I have been just trying to work their lessons in between playing/field trip/extra curriculars, I prioritized my older and didn't spend enough time with him. Now, with adding in a 3rd something has to change. So, what I have just started is doing some together work to start, then going youngest to oldest, then ending with everyone (including two year old) together. While I work with the littler kids, the olders work on something independently. Once I work with them they can go play. We stop by lunch time and they still have lots of time in the afternoons and we still have one out of the house day. We just started this, so I can't say how it will work. I have found this stage to be more difficult than I thought it would be. I feel sometimes like the needs of my olders are starting to be quite a bit different than my youngers and it is hard to balance. I am starting to miss the days of four kids under 6 😊. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I wish I had your problem. Lol. My kids basically quarrel most of the time. However, one thing I would add is, get them started in school before they get involved in their play. Have some independent work ready, worksheets or something, so when they are done with breakfast, they can get started on that and then you can easily transition into schoolwork. Then you don't have to interrupt anything. I don't blame you, during the rare times my kids are playing nicely, I hate to interrupt them to get school going. Then I just wait till they start fighting and then I break it all up and we get back to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 This is a great thread. Thanks, Alte Veste, for your input. My kids are about the same ages (10, 8, 6, 3) and play well and have a morning interspersed with will. My 6-year-old has 15 min. work followed by 15 min. of play all morning until her work is done. My 8-year-old earns 10-15 minute recesses by finishing her work in reasonable chunks of time. What I do is decide how long an assignment should take, add a few minutes, and then set the timer. If she finishes a few assignments within time, I'll give her a recess. (She is very prone to dawdling but this really motivates her. Sometimes she chooses to do extra work and finish early, though, rather than take a break.) My oldest gets a 10 minute break or so every 90 minutes. I stagger the breaks so that the 3-year-old almost always has someone to play with. Emily Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walkinlegends Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 Part of my problem maybe is that I'm not an early riser? I know this is something I could change if I really wanted to, but I have a hard time falling asleep at night, which leads to having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Which has to do with this thread b/c the boys hit the ground running around 7, and are deep into play immediately. I get going not too long after that, but by the time breakfast is ready they've been playing for a while. A week of snow (in TN where we never get snow) and a birthday (with new Legos) has given us more play time than we usually have - but I'm going to focus on ROUTINE now. Thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Part of my problem maybe is that I'm not an early riser? I know this is something I could change if I really wanted to, but I have a hard time falling asleep at night, which leads to having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Which has to do with this thread b/c the boys hit the ground running around 7, and are deep into play immediately. I get going not too long after that, but by the time breakfast is ready they've been playing for a while. A week of snow (in TN where we never get snow) and a birthday (with new Legos) has given us more play time than we usually have - but I'm going to focus on ROUTINE now. Thanks again! We always have play time before school. I know a lot of people think it best to start school right after breakfast, and I might end up doing that once my kids are older, but for now my boys need running around time before they can concentrate on school. Our schedule is: 7am - Boys wake, do morning chores, eat breakfast, brush teeth and get dressed As soon as this is all done well and inspected they can start playing (no screens allowed during this time). During the summer I often shove them outside to take advantage of the cool morning temps. 9am - To the table (I don't make them clean up anything as long as they are going back to it after school time) for a snack while I read a picture book. Then the toddler goes upstairs for nap/rest time and the rest of us do school at the table. 10am - Toddler sits in his high chair and participates as best he can for art or music or Spanish or a science experiment or anything that will hold his attention. 10:20ish - Released to go play. Next year when Peter is in first grade, he and I might tackle one subject here that is better done one-on-one. 12 - Lunch, often with a documentary or Spanish show. 1 - All boys to their rooms for rest time. Once the toddler is down, then I visit the kindergartener and teach his Singapore math lesson and get him started on the workbook problems, next I pop over to the preschooler and help him do a couple pages in his Singapore math book, lastly I check in again with the kindergartener who is normally almost done with his math. 1:30 - School is done and the rest of the afternoon is for rest time, afternoon chores and play time which can include screens. Wendy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Part of my problem maybe is that I'm not an early riser? I know this is something I could change if I really wanted to, but I have a hard time falling asleep at night, which leads to having a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Which has to do with this thread b/c the boys hit the ground running around 7, and are deep into play immediately. I get going not too long after that, but by the time breakfast is ready they've been playing for a while. A week of snow (in TN where we never get snow) and a birthday (with new Legos) has given us more play time than we usually have - but I'm going to focus on ROUTINE now. Thanks again! I'm not all that keen on getting up super early in the winter. Summer is a different matter, and I also feel both my boys do better if they have some exercise in the morning prior to beginning study. The boys feel so strongly about wanting to have their morning free time that they got an alarm clock so that they could wake up earlier to play. It sounds like you have a natural break at breakfast time, so why not focus on using that as the transition period from active games to mental games? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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