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Are you preparing your kids for their college workloads?


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I regret not getting out of my college room and not spending time in the study groups that formed from people meeting in the library or in empty classrooms. I could have had much better grades if I'd sought out better support earlier in some of my math and science classes.

 

I did learn my lesson after graduation. Some of the material in my first Navy school was classified and could only be studied at the school. I fell in with a group of several other ensigns. Last year was my 20th anniversary of being married to one of my study partners. We still argue if I taught him about SPS -48 radars or if he taught me.

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If a student needs to spend a lot more time on most of the assignments than the rest of his classmates, it's important to make sure something is not amiss, especially if it's happening in multiple classes.

 

A student could be having any number of problems, but a common problem that Carol Dweck talks about in her book Mindset is a student believing that reading and memorizing is the only way to learn. According to Dweck, this is how students with a fixed mindset study. On the other hand, a student with a growth mindset will self assess and try to find a variety of ways that make the learning stick. There are many ways to learn. These students also take an interest in the material and are not just trying to pass a test. Interestingly, when the material gets tough, these students keep going and rise to the challenge, usually doing well. When they don't do well, they study what they missed until they understand the material.

 

 

 

Mindset is a great book!  I agree that having a variety of study approaches is important.  Your last comment is exactly what I meant.  It may take more time for students who do not have the same background in the subject as the other students, or if they read more slowly than most.  It doesn't matter; what matters is that they put in the time it takes to learn. 

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When academic groups are a mutual exchange of ideas, skills, advice, and support, they are an amazing tool.

 

Although I must admit I never thought of them in terms  of acquiring a spouse, regentrude. ;)

 

This is a whole different creature than the "discovery" groups that Lolly is referring to. Those were a popular method of teaching middle school math when my older kids were in that bracket. "New" math methodology, texts with no examples, and most of the "teaching" done in "discovery" groups is not an ideal way to teach middle school math. Even with 8 years of homeschooling experience which certainly has involved following rabbit trails, "discovery," "teaching," and "groups," used in the same sentence cause instant heartburn for me. That was a nightmare experience that cost us several thousands of dollars in tutoring to fix. The blind leading the blind is not "discovery."

I completely agree with the blind leading the blind comment.  It's so different when you get to college level and beyond, particularly when you find your group rather than groups being assigned.  I do think a lot of insight and understanding can be gleaned from discussion and puzzling through things together, but I was thinking of university level and beyond.

 

ETA: I now have yet another book on hold at the library based on your recommendation!  I love your recs! :)

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Mindset is a great book!  I agree that having a variety of study approaches is important.  Your last comment is exactly what I meant.  It may take more time for students who do not have the same background in the subject as the other students, or if they read more slowly than most.  It doesn't matter; what matters is that they put in the time it takes to learn.

 

I see what you're saying, but for students who are about at the same level and who learn at a similar pace, one of them might be able to accomplish more and do better in a shorter period of time just because he self-assesses and uses methods that are more efficient. What matters is for the student to question if his methods are effective. A student needs to contemplate how he is studying and, if necessary, refine his methods. Logging more hours might not help if the method is ineffective. It's like Albert Einstein's definition: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." My youngest son is like this, especially in Latin. He is so stubborn and utterly refuses to believe that maybe his methods are not helping. LOL.

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I see what you're saying, but for students who are about at the same level and who learn at a similar pace, one of them might be able to accomplish more and do better in a shorter period of time just because he self-assesses and uses methods that are more efficient. What matters is for the student to question if his methods are effective. A student needs to contemplate how he is studying and, if necessary, refine his methods. Logging more hours might not help if the method is ineffective. It's like Albert Einstein's definition: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." My youngest son is like this, especially in Latin. He is so stubborn and utterly refuses to believe that maybe his methods are not helping. LOL.

LOL!  You're absolutely right.  I have one of those, too.  Just so you know, there's hope.  My dc made an amazing discovery last month.  This dc told me that... gasp... taking notes from a text was actually really helpful for remembering the material.  Who would have thought?   :001_rolleyes:  Never mind how many times we tell them, some kids won't believe it until they "discover" it on their own. 

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Not only are study groups are good for finding spouses, but so are quartets--just ask dd!

 

I've been amused at these "found my spouse" stories.  My guy was the one who lured me AWAY from studying.  His aunt/uncle sent him MONEY every week (I was poor) and he used it to take me out to dinner, go on walks/hiking, go to shows, etc.  I'll freely admit I didn't even like him at first as he was super conceited, but hey, I got to skip the dining hall and I love the great outdoors/shows, etc.  ;)

 

I skipped more classes to be with him that it dropped my grades in many classes.  I even got my first C.

 

He barely graduated.  My (end) GPA was around a 3.4 I think.

 

But he did graduate and has become a top notch engineer (giving a nice anecdote that GPA isn't everything) and we've been happily married for 26+ years.

 

He knows it's tough for him to scold the kids about anything "school" though - and I'll admit I wish I hadn't skipped many of the classes that I skipped in hindsight.  I have not shared my skipping habit with my boys.  Some secrets need to remain deeply buried.  The only exception was my Stats class.  I skipped that (except for tests) with the prof's permission as I already knew the material and only had to take the course because it was required for my Psych major.  I still got an easy A in that one, so that story I share with them - esp now that middle son is in the exact same position (except I don't think he skips his classes - he might).

 

But study groups?  They were incredibly valuable for my Physics major.  I didn't use them for other classes.  Middle son uses them for many of his classes.  His study groups have given him many good friends.  Perhaps I should be looking for spouse possibilities? 

 

Group math teaching/confusion?  I abhor it and change things to how I see best when I'm in math classes teaching.  I pulled my kids out of ps to homeschool because our switching to CPM Math was the last straw on the camel's back for me.  No regrets!

 

At school kids ask me all the time when I'm going to go full time... I tell them - truthfully - that I'm too lazy to work full time, but I also remind them that if I were to go full time I'd have to follow the school's rules/policy with teaching rather than being a maverick and it wouldn't be the same anyway.

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Maybe this is a spin off, but "finding your tribe" seems like a common theme here.  Any suggestions for teaching/encouraging our kids, especially the introverted ones, how to find their tribe?

 

I'm still working on this with youngest, so I'm certainly not a pro.  Oldest and middle found their tribes through joining clubs that interested them.  These were totally new things too - not groups they had previously had experience with.

 

Oldest enjoyed parcour and live action re-enactment things.

 

Middle went with dance and American Sign Language.  This year - as a junior - he's also joined the juggling club and loves it.

 

Both also joined Christian clubs - those are carry overs from home, but they still enjoyed them.  They tried a couple to find what they liked.

 

Both were highly into chess here at home (middle was even state champ for his rating one year) - neither continued that much at school.  Middle started off doing it, but just found other things he wanted to try and couldn't do all of it.

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I am really liking and appreciating this thread, as I'm looking ahead to eighth and then ninth grade.

 

My freshman year of college, I took the second of two required intro classes for my major the second semester. Large class of a few hundred people, but the advisor for my major taught it, and since I hadn't met him yet (because we weren't allowed to declare an official major right away, although I'd been in touch with him by phone), I walked up the first day and introduced myself. He, in turn, introduced me to a couple of upperclassmen in my major who were in the class as well. (Very small major -- the five of us in that class were the only ones in the major in the entire university.). They took me under their wing and invited me to study with them. We didn't go over problems, but we did discuss what the professor expected to see in exams, what questions might be asked, etc. It was indeed very helpful. (Didn't meet DH in one, though, but he gave me the thorough tour of campus and told me which dining halls were good for eating and such, so I suppose that did help in making the transition.)

 

I love Regentrude's suggestions! I know one thing that was really helpful to me was taking college classes during high school. Ours were through a special program, so the professors knew to look out for the high school students, and while they didn't coddle us, they did make a point to be especially approachable and willing to help. So when I moved to big huge university where it's easy to get lost, I was totally comfortable with asking professors for help when needed, as well as for advocating for myself. I really hope I can get that sort of experience for my kids while they're still at home!

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All of these comments about meeting a spouse in study groups makes me really wish I'd participated :D

I met mine in physics study groups, too. (Being the only girl most of the time certainly gave me my pick :-) )

 

I'm finding as I talk to people about college and study groups, they are more common in some fields than others. Finding good groups to work with was crucial for us.

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As to finding a "tribe" I have only one in college...so less of a pro than anyone. I had a rough first year, and wanted him to avoid that. We did look for colleges were friendly, that had lots of clubs, religious student centers, honor dorms, Ect. Places to meet people and continue or develop hobbies. The honors dorm that eats togther each night turned out not to be a great fit. Nice people, but he ended up getting so busy with other clubs, that he prefered to eat alone.The TDK club was the same. However, the liberal arts honor group was fun and they are going to Europe later this year. He hangs out at their dorm frequently. He almost didn't apply.

 

It turned out that having lots of choices was important because he didn't land where he thought he would. He tried things out a time or two and narrowed it down to activities he loves.

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Maybe this is a spin off, but "finding your tribe" seems like a common theme here. Any suggestions for teaching/encouraging our kids, especially the introverted ones, how to find their tribe?

Look for hobbies and majors most likely to attract introverts? Though opposites can attract, introverts tend to understand one another and are more likely to respect the hamster ball than get their feathers ruffled.

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Maybe this is a spin off, but "finding your tribe" seems like a common theme here.  Any suggestions for teaching/encouraging our kids, especially the introverted ones, how to find their tribe?

 

I found that introverts usually do fine interacting and even enjoy talking if the interaction and talking is about their special interest.

My very introverted DS who hates parties and social gatherings and any small talk can practice his hobby, martial arts, for hours with others, have animated discussions, facilitate structured practice and get togethers - if there is a clear purpose behind the interaction and it's not just "hanging out".

I would suggest that introverts seek out a group that is tied together through a strong common interest. They will meet like minded people there and get to know them by talking for the purpose of exchanging information which seems to be OK with many introverts who would hate taking for talking's sake.

 

OTOH, even for very extroverted, social kids it can be difficult to find the right "tribe" at college. Even if they do all the right things, join interest groups, participate in dorm functions, have study groups, volunteer...that does not always immediately translate into deep friendships. For the extroverted student, this may pose a bigger problem, because of their intrinsic need to interact with people. My advice would be doing all those things, but also having patience - it can take a while to meet the right people who instantly "click".

 

I wish every one of our college studnets that they may find their tribe.

 

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