Moxie Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 As my oldest goes off to public high school next year, and keeping in mind that I still have a 2yo at home, I've been doing a lot of navel-gazing in the last few weeks. Do you think homeschooling your kids has been good for you as a wife, mother, home keeper, person, citizen, etc.? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Yes, it has. It has made me a better educated person. It has helped me to engage more in my children's lives. It has allowed me to remain at home rather than in the full time workforce for most of the journey. I think it will go down as one of the most foundational and life-changing experiences I've ever had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 No. I think that with the all of the pros and cons tallied I just break even at neutral. HSing the boys is expensive, time consuming and draining. HSing the boys is also rewarding, worth the time and loss of sleep. (most of the time anyway.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Absolutely. Yes. A thousand times yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Yes, it has. It has made me a better educated person. It has helped me to engage more in my children's lives. It has allowed me to remain at home rather than in the full time workforce for most of the journey. I think it will go down as one of the most foundational and life-changing experiences I've ever had. I agree! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 It's been good overall, I think. I probably just have a few years left since my two oldest will graduate in 2017 and 2018 and my youngest isn't homeschooling. There have been some drawbacks, certainly, and sometimes I am heartily sick of dealing with school (but I'm pretty sure I'd be heartily sick of dealing with high school either way). But the most important thing for me is that it's made our nomadic lifestyle possible and I'd never trade that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Of course not. It's work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 It has been the most difficult and most rewarding thing I've ever done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I'm pretty sure that I got an education that was not available in any school in any program anywhere.I didn't have good parent and home schooling gave me extra time with my kids to do better than I would have otherwise. I had my youngest in online school last year and she is in ps this year and I miss home schooling a lot. But then I love kids and miss working with them. But we are building as business to finance our retirement and it was time to move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Yes it has for me because it's filled out my own education even with kids on the younger side. I think it's allowed me to gain a lot of confidence as parent and I've gained skills I otherwise wouldn't have. There are definitely some negatives - it's so intense and it definitely stretch my energy levels to breaking point on a daily basis and it does mean I don't have the time for some of own projects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Yes it has for me because it's filled out my own education even with kids on the younger side. I think it's allowed me to gain a lot of confidence as parent and I've gained skills I otherwise wouldn't have. There are definitely some negatives - it's so intense and it definitely stretch my energy levels to breaking point on a daily basis and it does mean I don't have the time for some of own projects. Agreeing with the energy level issue and no personal time issue. I feel pretty defeated most nights. My question for myself is, how long is that ok? I'll be mid-50's when my youngest is done. Can I postpone my desires that long?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cottonmama Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 No. At least not yet. The stress has taken a toll on my health, both physical and mental. I'm counting on things getting easier as the kids get older, because if they don't, I don't know how I'll get through 16 more years of this. ETA: Although it may not be homeschooling so much as having kids that has caused all the stress. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Yes. I have learned a lot. I have learned a lot about certain subjects, especially history, but also about learning per se, about the college application process, about homeschooling styles and philosophies. Homeschooling has brought me in contact with people I would not otherwise have met. Emotionally, it has been good for me because it has been good for my children. I don't know how one can separate one from the other - seeing a child miserable every day at school is bad for mom, too. So, having happier kids makes me happier, too. I do not know whether it had any impact on me as a mother. I homeschool because it is what my kids need(ed). But as a wife and home keeper? Homeschooling had zero effect on these areas of my life. Not sure how it would. It has been difficult at times to fit homeschooling around my job, so our lives have been busier and more complicated than they would have been had the kids attended school. I do not know if I might have slightly altered my career trajectory and maybe gone back to some research, had I not homeschooled. Just to clarify, I have no regrets! I'm fine with teaching - but without the added responsibility and time commitment of homeschooling, I probably would have been bored as the kids got older, and might have sought out further intellectual stimulation at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Agreeing with the energy level issue and no personal time issue. I feel pretty defeated most nights. My question for myself is, how long is that ok? I'll be mid-50's when my youngest is done. Can I postpone my desires that long??No, you can't. You will need to find a way to keep something separate for yourself. When I had young kids like you do, I clawed my way to bedtime most days. My youngest is nine. It is a whole new world now. :) Having kids uner 6-7 was a beat down to me. I lost myself for years in diapers, laundry, messes and the constant grabby hands of needy short people. It is much better now. Working outside the home part-time feeds my soul. For others, it might be a hobby or a book club. But don't wait until your mid fifties, Moxie. (((Hugs))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Do you think homeschooling your kids has been good for you as a wife, mother, home keeper, person, citizen, etc.? Yes to all. As a wife it has made me so very attentive to DH and how he teaches when he has the opportunity. He knows how hard I work at homeschooling during the week, and he's been more than willing to take a Sunday and teach when I just need a break. We support each other more, and he talks to me more than he used to. Our communication has really improved. As a mother, I think I'm pretty close to my boys. We'll see how that holds out over the teen years. I'm attentive now to little things and how they affect the way they are learning from one day to the next, and I am developing a sense of what I need to teach them individually (strengths and weaknesses). As a home-keeper I never would have taken the time to get as organized and streamlined as I have if I didn't homeschool. There would not have been the need for it. As a person I can honestly say that I never would have started learning Latin, voluntarily cracked open an Algebra text, or read Don Quixote had I not chosen to homeschool. As a citizen I find myself caring a great deal more about history, culture, education and just the general welfare of the people in my circle of influence. I pay attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Yes. I have learned a lot. I have learned a lot about certain subjects, especially history, but also about learning per se, about the college application process, about homeschooling styles and philosophies. Homeschooling has brought me in contact with people I would not otherwise have met. Emotionally, it has been good for me because it has been good for my children. I don't know how one can separate one from the other - seeing a child miserable every day at school is bad for mom, too. So, having happier kids makes me happier, too. I do not know whether it had any impact on me as a mother. I homeschool because it is what my kids need(ed). But as a wife and home keeper? Homeschooling had zero effect on these areas of my life. Not sure how it would. And it certainly has been difficult at times to fit homeschooling around my job, so our lives have been busier and more complicated than they would have been had the kids attended school. I do not know if I might have slightly altered my career trajectory and maybe gone back to some research, had I not homeschooled. Just to clarify, I have no regrets! I'm fine with teaching - but without the added responsibility and time commitment of homeschooling, I probably would have been bored as the kids got older, and might have sought out further intellectual stimulation at work. The wife and home keeper part--I imagine if I weren't homeschooling, I'd get the cleaning, shopping, cooking and laundry done during the day so I could enjoy the family in the evenings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 The wife and home keeper part--I imagine if I weren't homeschooling, I'd get the cleaning, shopping, cooking and laundry done during the day so I could enjoy the family in the evenings. see, if I weren't homeschooling, I'd be working full time because my kids would be in school. I would not BE at home during the day. And the little bit of housework for a family of four (compared to your larger family) would get done in the evening. If anything, being home for part of the day enables me to fit in housework more easily and use small chunks of time available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Yes. I'm extremely thankful that I've had these years with my kids at home, learning and living with them. All too soon they will go off to college and I'm glad I've been able to spend so much more time with them during their childhood years than if they had gone to public school. I love learning and we have a lifestyle of learning here at our house. Through home schooling I have been able to learn a lot of things I wouldn't have otherwise, particularly history and Latin. I was a high school math teacher prior to home schooling and I love seeing the whole math education spectrum from K-12 now; if I ever go back to teaching I think it will help me be a better teacher. I can see why kids shouldn't have calculators for most of the elementary years, why they should work on their mental math skills in the early primary years, I know that they don't need to be solving equations algebraically in 2nd or 3rd grade. All that said, home schooling takes a lot of time. I would say it's impossible to do everything well if you're trying to keep house, educate your children, and maintain family relationships. Around here, keeping house is not done as well as it could be! My dd has been sick for a week now and not schooling--it's amazing how much better I can do the other things. I do look forward to the time advantages of not schooling at home anymore in a few years, but I will always be thankful for this opportunity to spend time with my kids, helping them learn and grow and become adult people I want to be around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 It's a rough time to ask me that question. I've been burned out for years, but we have to keep going. The schools in our area are very bad. I think it would be better if I didn't drive so much. Everything we do requires an hour drive. We drive for church, to visit friends, to do any activity (school or sports related). I'm so sick of driving. I hate it. Schooling is so wound up with driving that it's hard to separate the two. When the kids were young, and we weren't driving everywhere I did enjoying read a-loud time, and teaching them to read. I hated the daily fight over math, and science was always a fail. Anyway, you asked if it's been good for me. No, because I'm always angry right now, so it's not good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Double post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3in9th Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 For me, it's a wash. I have a demanding career that I would normally do at home, but the distractions and noise and extra work of homeschooling means that I'm barely getting ahead. Mind you, I got tons more work done when they were toddlers and only had pre-school two mornings a week. They'd nap when they got home and Sesame Street was good for another hour of work time. Now, not so much. I assign documentaries sometimes, but I find I'd like to watch it with them so that we can discuss it. Perhaps I should move those movie times to the evenings? I also live in the most regulated homeschool state. It'd be much better all around, I'd be much better all around if we lived someplace more lax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 My daughter is one who thrived in her early public schooling; I fully believe she would have thrived had she continued in the public school system. However, I'm grateful for the time I got to spend with her (homeschooling in 7th through 12th grades) that I would not otherwise have had. I feel that I know her much better due to having had that time. In that regard, homeschooling was very good for me. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cottonmama Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Emotionally, it has been good for me because it has been good for my children. I don't know how one can separate one from the other - seeing a child miserable every day at school is bad for mom, too. So, having happier kids makes me happier, too. I agree, it would be paniful for me to see them miserable every day, but I also have some of my own needs that are distinct from my kids' needs. I am very sensitive to noise and visual clutter (a.k.a. mess). So for me, just because school wouldn't be good for my kids doesn't mean homeschooling is without its own disadvantages (more noise and clutter and as a result, extremely high levels of stress for me). Perhaps you are lucky and homeschooling doesn't have any disadvantages for you personally -- great! I truly wish I could say the same, because I LOVE homeschooling, not only in theory, but much of the time in practice. But the fact is that it has disadvantages for me as a mom. That doesn't mean I'm not sensitive to my kids' needs; it just means that their needs conflict with mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyBC Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I am so grateful we had the opportunity to homeschool. I can't foresee ever having another job I am so passionate about. Now that we are in another season of life, there are areas - housework, personal interests - that are definitely improved. And we all appreciate that a bit more, I think, because it wasn't always this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I also meant to add that I'm very ambitious and I do feel the loss of personal challenge that I think I'd have got if I were working. I find it hard to actually find time for doing things that would give me that feeling of achievement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Absolutely. I would do it all over again. My kids, maybe surprisingly, say the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruitofthewomb Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 So far-no. It adds a level of stress to our home that isn't good for anyone. We are seriously considering sending them off for school next year. I have 5 under 9 and every year I think it will be better or easier or something-it's not been. I am doing a terrible job of managing everything. Some days I think I will spontaneously combust from the stress. We have other medical issues going on that add to the stress but regardless-homeschooling adds to the mix. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I agree, it would be paniful for me to see them miserable every day, but I also have some of my own needs that are distinct from my kids' needs. I am very sensitive to noise and visual clutter (a.k.a. mess). So for me, just because school wouldn't be good for my kids doesn't mean homeschooling doesn't have its own disadvantages (more noise and clutter and as a result, extremely high levels of stress for me). Perhaps you are lucky and homeschooling doesn't have any disadvantages for you personally -- great! I truly wish I could say the same, because I LOVE homeschooling, not only in theory, but much of the time in practice. But the fact is that it has disadvantages for me as a mom. That doesn't mean I'm not sensitive to my kids' needs; it just means that their needs conflict with mine. I did not mean to imply that, because it makes the child happier, it can't have disadvantages for the parent. For us, homeschooling was the solution to an extremely bad public school situation that seriously affected DD's well being. I am talking about several years of painful boredom plus long term bullying, daily headaches, etc. I am sure I can think of disadvantages for me, but for our family, there are none that even register on the scale compared to the advantage. Because the alternative was really bad. And also, it may have been easier because I only have two children, and I did not begin homeschooling until 5th/6th grade. Btw, noise and visual clutter - we had plenty of that when the kids were little. I am not sure whether that is not primarily a function of the children's ages, rather than one of home schooling per se. This aspect gets easier when they get older. Best wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Do you think homeschooling your kids has been good for you as a wife, mother, home keeper, person, citizen, etc.? Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 To the extent that my happiness is tied to my kids' best interests -- yes. When I started, it was welcome intellectual stimulation after some years of just diapers and nursing. In every other way, no. Which is why, after 12 years, we are done after this year (unless the hiatus so revives me that I want to go back to it). I am 100% spent. For my own mental health, I can't keep doing it. I don't regret the years I spent homeschooling, but there is no doubt in my mind that the chapter is closing. It's bittersweet; sometimes it's very emotional and hard. But I know it's for the best. If mama ain't sane, ain't nobody sane. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 as a wife, no. I'm too tired. :lol: as a mother, too early to tell as a homekeeper, no. Again, too tired. as a person, too early to tell. Other people think I'm a better person because I home school, but that's just their perception as a citizen, yes, because I'm out in the community and learning about more than I would if I weren't a home schooler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Homeschooling was good for me, and my relationship with the kids and with dh. However, it's a mixed bag as to whether it was good for dh. It was good for me because I was able to better educate myself, be with my kids through thick and thin (I'm talking about you, teenage years!), and because I didn't work, I was a pretty good wife. Our kids are grown now and we've made the transition from parent/child to more of a peer or friend relationship. We respect each other and enjoy spending time together, but we also each have our own lives so we're all doing our own things. It was good for my relationship with dh because I was able to be home to eat breakfast with him, fix lunch for him, have a hot meal ready when he got home from work. I was able to take some daily tasks off his shoulders, like mailing packages, and handling paperwork. If we were both juggling outside jobs, I probably would have not been able to do those things. Yeah, homeschooling was a job but running errands was something dh hated and I enjoyed so I liked serving him that way. The only bad thing is that since I spent SO much time with the kids that dh feels that they are closer to me. He doesn't resent it, but it has made him feel left out sometimes. All the field trips we took, great books we read together, etc. He just kind of feels that they tell me everything first, whether it's good or bad. I'm trying to encourage the youngest to share things with their dad first, but they just really don't think of it. They see us as 'one' and know I'll pass things on to dh. This phase will pass, as the oldest two are not still in the 'tell Mom first' stage. The middle daughter tells DH everything first- I rarely hear from her. And he has a great relationship with our oldest. The youngest two just have a bit more maturing to do before they 'get there'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cottonmama Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I did not mean to imply that, because it makes the child happier, it can't have disadvantages for the parent. For us, homeschooling was the solution to an extremely bad public school situation that seriously affected DD's well being. I am talking about several years of painful boredom plus long term bullying, daily headaches, etc. I am sure I can think of disadvantages for me, but for our family, there are none that even register on the scale compared to the advantage. Because the alternative was really bad. And also, it may have been easier because I only have two children, and I did not begin homeschooling until 5th/6th grade. Btw, noise and visual clutter - we had plenty of that when the kids were little. I am not sure whether that is not primarily a function of the children's ages, rather than one of home schooling per se. This aspect gets easier when they get older. Best wishes. I had some terrible school situations as a kid that affected family life, so I really do understand. Since I never sent mine to school, it's easy for me to forget how bad the alternative can be. Glad homeschooling has been so good for your family! I really do look forward to the years we have ahead of us, and I just hope I don't break down in a moment of weakness and send them to school before them. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I didn't set out with homeschooling for it to be good for me, just as I didn't work before that to be good for me. I had other goals, and they are being achieved. There were additional benefits and hardships in homeschooling my children that I didn't necessarily anticipate when heading into it, but I certainly don't regret this bend in the road my life has taken. Overall, the benefits to the family as a whole have definitely outweighed the hardships. For me personally, the benefits have been wonderful. Most of the hardships of having 4 children very close in age would probably have been there whether I homeschooled them or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doodlebug Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Good for my son? yes yes yes. Good for me? It's like asking the farmer if plowing is good for him, isn't it? If asked this question, I can see my farmer grandfather taking off his wide brimmed hat and saying, "It is necessary. Somedays I love the sun on my back. Others, I push through while my hands are bit by the frost." Sorry if that swung wide of your question... but it is a very interesting question, and one I know changes through each season of our homeschool. Stella Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Homeschooling was good for me, and my relationship with the kids and with dh. However, it's a mixed bag as to whether it was good for dh. It was good for me because I was able to better educate myself, be with my kids through thick and thin (I'm talking about you, teenage years!), and because I didn't work, I was a pretty good wife. Our kids are grown now and we've made the transition from parent/child to more of a peer or friend relationship. We respect each other and enjoy spending time together, but we also each have our own lives so we're all doing our own things. It was good for my relationship with dh because I was able to be home to eat breakfast with him, fix lunch for him, have a hot meal ready when he got home from work. I was able to take some daily tasks off his shoulders, like mailing packages, and handling paperwork. If we were both juggling outside jobs, I probably would have not been able to do those things. Yeah, homeschooling was a job but running errands was something dh hated and I enjoyed so I liked serving him that way. The only bad thing is that since I spent SO much time with the kids that dh feels that they are closer to me. He doesn't resent it, but it has made him feel left out sometimes. All the field trips we took, great books we read together, etc. He just kind of feels that they tell me everything first, whether it's good or bad. I'm trying to encourage the youngest to share things with their dad first, but they just really don't think of it. They see us as 'one' and know I'll pass things on to dh. This phase will pass, as the oldest two are not still in the 'tell Mom first' stage. The middle daughter tells DH everything first- I rarely hear from her. And he has a great relationship with our oldest. The youngest two just have a bit more maturing to do before they 'get there'. I could have written your post. As the boys are about to go off to college, dh is really feeling like he'd like a do-over....you know, "Cats and the Cradle".... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hepatica Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I agree, it would be paniful for me to see them miserable every day, but I also have some of my own needs that are distinct from my kids' needs. I am very sensitive to noise and visual clutter (a.k.a. mess). So for me, just because school wouldn't be good for my kids doesn't mean homeschooling is without its own disadvantages (more noise and clutter and as a result, extremely high levels of stress for me). Perhaps you are lucky and homeschooling doesn't have any disadvantages for you personally -- great! I truly wish I could say the same, because I LOVE homeschooling, not only in theory, but much of the time in practice. But the fact is that it has disadvantages for me as a mom. That doesn't mean I'm not sensitive to my kids' needs; it just means that their needs conflict with mine. Yep! Agree with this completely. I think it is particularly difficult for introverts in a way extroverts just don't understand. I think it's been great for my kids, but, and this is a big but, the more burned out I get the less good it is for everyone. Perhaps if I had started later, late elementary or middle school, and had not been full-time parenting for all these years the burnout would not have happened. Once you get there, it's hard to crawl out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abeille Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Yes, and no. For me, it meant turning down the nursing school spot I'd earned with several years of hard work. It was certainly the right choice for my son's well-being, and I don't regret doing it, but it was a painful decision to make. I enjoy staying home with him, and do feel that homeschooling helps me be a better mom. I don't think it has any impact on how good a wife or citizen I am. Being a good home keeper isn't something I've ever aspired to, and I find I have less time and energy for that than I did before homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jann in TX Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 No-- rewarding, yes (in hindsight) but not 'good' for me. The stress was so much at times...it affected my health, my marriage and my sanity. My oldest dd (especially) NEEDED to be homeschooled (no appropriate placement in PS for her special needs-- ASD). Middle dd had major health issues (still does) and lots of related anxiety. She attended PS for a few years in middle school but was homeschooled the rest. We are not homeschooling youngest dd. She is thriving and I am sane and healthier than I've been in years! I needed to work full time in order to pay for 2 dds in college at the same time. I could not do that in tandem to homeshcooling (even though I work at home). Homeschooling was NOT good on my health and did not make me a better parent/wife/housekeeper. Homeschooling WAS the best choice for educating our oldest children and I (and DH too) have zero regrets and would do it again if necessary! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Posting without reading because my gut response is an enthusiastic "Oh my gosh YES!!" Now to read... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I has been interesting to read the replies. Many, many (((hugs))) to those who are angry and exhausted. I have had days like that, too. Sometimes the days stretched into weeks and months and years. Mostly, that has been due to life, not homeschooling. I arrived at homeschooling accidentally. Our plan was private school for the kids, but when my older ds cried every single day going to first grade, and we had to put into place so many different supports just to get him through the second semester of that year, I knew I would homeschool him...but only him. Here we all sit seven years later. So I know the alternative. I have an adult dd who attended thirteen years of private school, and I know what that looks like (for mom and for kid). Having young kids is very draining and mindless and a time when you lose so very much of yourself. I did not enjoy the three babies in five years while dealing with other life-changing circumstances. But homeschooling has been good for me and for my family and kids. I am so grateful for my older ds who cried every day of first grade and propelled us down this path. Some of sweetest memories when I look back on my parenting "career" thus far is the first couple of years we homeschooled when I had these two little boys at home (and little dd in preschool). My sincerest hugs to those who are struggling. I wish I could meet you for a cup of coffee sans kids. It would do us all good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Yes it has been good for me in all those apsects of my life. The inevitiable challenges and frustrations have also been good for me too because I believe facing and dealing with struggles are some of the best and most valuable experiences a person can have in life. I don't do well with noise or clutter but I've managed to keep that to minimum for each age and stage in our homeschool and enjoy more of it as they get older. I grew up on a farm so I was trained by my mother to run a tight ship with the kids. I've always been home and planned to be home the whole time so homeschooling has been my career and I've loved it. I'm a philosophical homeschooler, so I never had to make an adjustment from my kids in an institutional setting to a home setting. It's an extension of my attachment parenting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Someday, when I have the luxury of time and the wisdom that distance affords, perhaps I will be able to say it was good for me and that the personal sacrifices were worth it. I can't say that right now. There have been some positives certainly, but whether they will balance out the very real cost remains to be seen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 That's a hard question to answer. It certainly didn't make me a better housekeeper, but I doubt it made me a much worse one either. :glare: I'm pretty bad either way. As a wife - probably at least slightly better than as a working mom. I wasn't quite as tired since if I really really needed a day off, I could just take one. As a person - I'm getting more mental stimulation at work than I was teaching early elementary school. But some things I really miss - like teaching science, looking at resources, planning stuff. It was also too easy for me as a SAHM to become even more of an introvert and take the "stay home" part of it way too seriously. As a parent - I liked having a lot of dedicated time with the kids and miss that, but I don't know that I fully appreciated it at the time. I think the real quality bonding time got lost in the shuffle of housekeeping (such as it was), being teacher and parent, planning, etc. The stuff I miss about homeschooling, and what I think about when I sometimes wish I could do it again, is really all about me not them (the planning, the teacher, the sharing). I'm planning to start a new 4-H group in the fall and hope that satisfies part of it. That and getting to take more vacation time with the kids, even if it's just a day here and there to do local stuff together. When I was home, money was so tight we didn't get to do much as a family. I didn't choose to return to work. At the time it was extremely necessary. We were lucky to be able to continue having the kids be homeschooled because really the main benefit is for them. Neither would do as well in a traditional school setting. Their teacher now is young, energetic, smart, takes them to a ton of educational and social activities, is great at working with them both and they are thriving. That helps a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justkeepswimming Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 No, I can't say that homeschooling been good for me. The one shining beacon of light is that I knw I have a better and closer relationship with my children than I otherwise would have. It has been good for my kids... Mostly. I think. Maybe. Although the older they get I am second guessing that as well. Are they so bright and personable and accomplished because I homeschool them? Or is that just who they were destined to be? I second-guess myself more every year. I put offy own desires more every year because the kids homeschooling and preparation require more, not less, of me as they age. My marriage is a GREAT one, but it has no doubt suffered. It is hard to turn off the Mom/Teacher/Administrator/BossyLady brain. And the sacrifices HE has had to make make me feel more guilty every year that passes (financial strain, few glorious vacations, etc). He never complains and is amazing, but sometimes I feel sad imagining the alternative life he could have had. In retrospect, I would have preferred a job that I could have left at the office. I would prefer to feel less "responsible" for how successful my kids turn out. And I would have preferred a house that isn't a living, breathing science experiment all year round (literally, we look like a science lab around here). As I type this, my boys are wrestling around and laughing with one another while one of my girls sits on the couch pelting them with throw pillows while they're all taking a break. Homeschooling has definitely been good for them. For the moment, I can say that and mean it. Ask me in 5 minutes and I'll be doubting the decision again. *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justkeepswimming Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 If I had the choice to make over again, I would have chosen differently. DH says he would still choose homeschooling. I still may choose differently when my boys approach high school age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Hubby does the cleaning and laundry. Kids knows how to cook if they don't want to eat what I am cooking. The biggest disadvantage for me was losing personal time to rest and do your own thing. Babysitting isn't cheap here. The unintended advantage is that it is hard to gain weight when you are too tired to eat. The local public schools aren't bad except for being academically boring but kids enjoyed the electives and socialization. Perhaps if I had started later, late elementary or middle school, and had not been full-time parenting for all these years the burnout would not have happened. Once you get there, it's hard to crawl out. Full time parenting did lead to burnout. I had put my older intense boy into public school for K and 1st and it was a great help since my younger was less intense. When we pull both out of B&M, we put them into outside classes so that I get rest and relax time every week. Now I have 6hrs of personal time every Wednesday and 3hrs of couple time every Saturday while kids are at outside classes. It I s a costly lifesaver but the alternative would be to put them in a B&M charter school since we didn't find any private school worth spending on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 No. The farmer and the plow analogy is quite apt for my situation. Homeschooling has been a good fit for our family's needs balanced as a whole, and I'm committed to our children receiving the best education that they can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Now that I've read the other responses, I'm back to add some detail. I have only one kid, currently in 8th grade, and we are still in our first year. I can't say I haven't had time yet to feel exhausted, but I know I'm nowhere near burnout. I have never been a stay-at-home-anything. But for short periods here and there, I have had some sort of job ever since I was eligible to get one. I have worked full-time-plus for the last 25 years. I still work full-time if you count the commute, but now I have several hours at home each day that I never had before. As a result, I have been able to get many of the benefits of homeschooling, while still retaining many of the benefits of working. Sure, there are times when I wish I could be home all day so we could do this or that outing or extracurricular or just not have our limited time together have to be so intense and filling every minute. And sure, there are definitely times when I miss my former paycheck! That adjustment has taken longer than I anticipated. But I am more energetic. I am far more personally fulfilled. I have a far better relationship with both DS and DH, for different reasons, than I had before. I have more time and opportunity to do small housekeeping tasks. For example: I have never, ever cleaned a switchplate in this house until I needed something small to do while DS worked on math so I wouldn't hover or be too available. Now I have gleaming switchplates! :D As for my perspective as a citizen, well, I suppose homeschooling has affected some of my views on some issues, but overall, not much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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