Your actual day?

[IsabelC]

I have seen a few threads where people list what they have scheduled for a day, but I remain blown away by how much most people seem to get done each day.

 

As I type this, it's 6.15pm and my son has just finished the half an hour's math which I gave him at 12 noon. OK, so he's had lunch and some toilet and play breaks, but still, he's probably spent about 3 hours melting down over math.

 

Girls have meanwhile done their math, looked at some Geography, finished memory work, made a video of their recitation, done half an hour each of music practice by themselves, and gone off to play. The total activities for the day have only amounted to half of what I had planned, plus we have no food organized and the laundry isn't finished.

 

I'd really appreciate if somebody could share your real, unedited typical day. I feel too far behind and discouraged when I look at what the accelerated and 'normal' kids are doing each day, so I am hoping that what other kids with learning challenges do might be a more realistic level I could aim to eventually achieve. 

 

Or just sympathize that I had a bad day lol

[OneStepAtATime]

Totally sympathize.  We have had many days where I just wanted to crawl under a rock and pretend we never had to do any school stuff.  Some days it can be so exhausting and demoralizing.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

And because of LDs and other issues, my 8th grader is in 3rd grade level math and Middle School level science has been a slog.  I do get stressed over how little progress we have made compared to so many kids you read about on these boards or even their IRL peers.  But I have to teach the child I have in front of me and I KNOW that we ARE making progress.  I have to define our progress by where my own kids were and where they are now, not someone else's kid.  It isn't easy sometimes.  And yep, there are many days that the house isn't clean and the laundry isn't done and dinner is leftovers or a frozen pizza slapped together at the last minute in desperation.    I have had those bad days.  And the days where I was so depressed I feared I needed meds to bring me out of it again.  Days where we seemed to be going backwards in leaps and bounds instead of forwards and I seriously questioned whether there would ever be a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

 

One thing that I found, though, was if my child was melting down it was time to stop, redirect to something else, and try again later with the thing that was causing the meltdown, sometimes from an entirely different approach or with me sitting right next to them offering lots of encouragement and scaffolding and shortening the expected amount of work at least temporarily.  And if there were still meltdowns, then walking away completely for a few hours or even days or even a couple of weeks sometimes became necessary to try to lessen the extreme stress and negativity that was locking them up. In the meantime, I had to brainstorm other ways to approach the topic that might work better.   Just slogging through frequently caused even more mental stress and discouragement which caused them to cycle down even further into resistance, depression, anger, insecurity, etc.  People don't think well when they are in that state of mind.  

 

Math, especially, is a huge challenge here.  I had to step both kids back to the very basic building blocks of math, then move forward in small increments, with lots of scaffolding and support.   That was a scary thing to do since my DD was already in 7th grade when I finally embraced wholeheartedly that starting over was the only way to really help her.   It is finally paying off.  She is progressing again and her horrible view of math is changing.  Are all days easy?  Goodness no.  There are days I wish with all my heart I could just pass math instruction on to someone else.  I have cried bucket loads and so have the kids over math.  But they are both progressing in math now and DD actually whipped through two lessons yesterday, only missing one problem in each section.  She was able to easily see and correct her errors on those two problems afterwards.  Stepping all the way back to basics, then moving forward with a program that was a far better fit has made a HUGE difference in our day.

 

If your son is really struggling with the math, could it be that he is missing some key components?  Not fully understanding what he is doing?  Really, really bored and overwhelmed at the same time (DS was like that; intellectually the math was incredibly boring but he was struggling to remember procedures.  Adding in things like Codebreakers and Beast Academy but providing scaffolding for the procedures helped tremendously.)  Or could the material be a bad fit?  Or maybe he needs a lot more support?  Could you have him do the problems on a dry erase board for a bit while you sit with him?  DS likes dry erase board work better.  Or maybe let him dictate the answers to you for a while and you scribe for him?  Maybe walk away from what you are using right now and incorporate a lot of math games and practical application math for a bit?  Does he like history?  Maybe he could do a study on the history of math?  The Story of One is a really awesome video.  There are others, too....

 

I am sorry that your day has been so challenging.  I really, really hope things get better.  Hugs and best wishes always.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[texasmama]

(((hugs)))  My kid who struggles is unpredictable.  He can have a day of school which looks neurotypical in every way followed by one in which much of the day is lost due to a math melt-down.  It is always math that melts him down.  Hormones have taken over his brain, as well, which really complicates things.  He and I were finishing up the last bit of his math last night at 8:30 pm.  This is atypical, but there were three problems of his twenty problem homework set that he did not understand and needed some help talking and working through.  A melt-down yesterday involved him being disrespectful to his dad and refusing to back down or stop, which devolved until he was sobbing.  I hugged him, told him that everyone gets overwhelmed with their feelings sometimes, made him a cut up apple and peanut butter on bread, covered him with a blanket on the couch, and we did a Sudoku puzzle together.  Usually it does not resolve so nicely so I was grateful.  AND he was able to get his math done.

 

I recall the frustration I used to feel (and still do sometimes) about the waste of time that math melt downs caused.  I would fear them and hate them.  We've been dealing with them for so many years that I have kind of let it go.  And recovering often involves snacks and a break.

 

I don't know if that is helpful for you, but it's what I have to offer, plus hugs.

[OneStepAtATime]

Yes, snacks and a break can be a huge help, along with hugs, sympathy and support.  texasmama has it right!

 

And FWIW, DS was still working on history at 6:30pm yesterday and DD and I never got the chance to finish reading her science text so we will have to tackle that today when we have even less time.  I am going through the list now and cutting out some things.  Realistically I know we won't make it so putting piles of pressure on to try, then all of us feeling demoralized when we inevitably fail seems pointless.   We will be gone from the house the entire afternoon and evening and I leave town tomorrow.  Just going to have to walk away from some things.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[clementine]

Oh, I had one like that.  :001_smile: 

 

I would wake them up at 8am (I am a firm believer in sleep for kids) and we would do breakfast together.  While I clean up dishes, they would get dressed & throw any laundry in baskets.  Then we would start school.  

 

Somedays we would be done by 2pm, some days math would go until dinner & again after dinner.  I realized that if I sat right next to them while they were doing math, there was MUCH less dawdling & I could remind them to stay on task.  (sometimes there would be LOTS of reminders)  Math was always our first subject, but I would call it quits after 1 1/2 hours and declare that there would be 'homework' after school or after dinner.  

 

Mine grew out of the procrastination and being easily distracted - have hope!  :001_smile:

[Heathermomster]

My house is not super clean but could be picked up in 20 or so minutes. I wash laundry and it is rotated to a chair where we can sit and fold. My chiweenie needs a bed too. Son empties the dishwasher and refills it during the day. Dinner is typically a grilled or baked meat with a steamed veggie and rice/noodle. We don't overly complicate our meals. On occasion, DH will pick up a bagged salad and roasted chicken. Breakfast night is a huge hit.

 

DD takes about 15 minutes for math. Phonics, spelling, and dictation take up to 45 minutes, She reads aloud to me at least 20 minutes from a book. I've never timed it. She listens to a fable, short story, and does copywork. We started lap booking history yesterday. She watches a daily science show about animals and will add to her animal journal. A minimum day would be her reading to me, math, copywork, a science video or history read aloud, and Bible.

 

DS and I sit down together and review poetry, grammar, math, writing, and biology. He completes vocab, computer literacy, Bible, and logic alone. He usually studies biology alone but is struggling with some concepts at the moment and needs my help. Biology, logic, writing, and PE are his outside classes.

 

DS has dyscalculia. We started Algebra 1A this year. We study math together every day for about 30-45 minutes. For the last 8 days, we have reviewed one concept, and he finally grasped it. I just cannot get upset about it. We haven't had a math melt down in ages. I honestly cannot recall the last one. Writing frustrates him, but he doesn't melt down. Eta...We try to end the day at 4pm.

[texasmama]

I realized that if I sat right next to them while they were doing math, there was MUCH less dawdling & I could remind them to stay on task.  (sometimes there would be LOTS of reminders)

My 14 year old is still basically at elbow for math.  I get on the computer or do a Sudoku puzzle or something so I don't go nuts with boredom while he is working.  He does a problem, I check it, he does a problem, I check it.  Ad infinitum.  That works best for him.  He is not distractible, but he needs my constant vigilance and feedback in case things go wrong so he doesn't go five miles down the wrong path because then things go really south for all of us. 

[fruitofthewomb]

Well yesterday I woke up to a kitchen that was so messy I had a hard time even fixing cereal for the kids and so much clean laundry to put away that I seriously couldn't add another load to it. I got distracted after breakfast by something online & got further behind.

 

Even though my distraction gave kids extra time to play they still didn't want to do chores. My oldest DD (who has the most issues) became very defiant & ended up kneeing her 3 yr old sister in the face (it was accidental but still). I thought I was going to explode bc no one would do a single thing I asked.

 

DD had 'the look' she gets when nothing is going to make her happy so I decided to clean kitchen & fold laundry instead of fight with her over school work. I thought I would try during nap time but I was very close to spontaneously combusting from stress so I decided it would be better to forget it today. Which then led to me feeling like a huge failure as a mom.

 

I forgot about supper (how is that possible?) so we were scrambling trying to put food on the table. That added to the sense of failure.

 

I kept thinking that if I hadn't been distracted earlier in the morning everything would have been better & why can't I just get it together.

 

our homeschool will never look like others. I am trying to be ok with that.

 

On a 'not so terrible' day we do 'morning time' which is ELTL 1 & a read aloud (currently little house on the prairie).

 

Girls separately do less than 30 min of math, 10 min of handwriting, & 15 min of reading. That's it. That's all my oldest can handle. Younger dd is working up to more in all areas. Reward for finishing school is an online learning game. They play 30 min of PBS kids online after all chores are done. They watch PBS during the day.

 

They listen to audiobooks & read for fun during the day. I am working on math games & other learning activities for nap time but haven't had time to finish that or to actually sit down with girls to do anything during littles nap.

 

So that's a view into the chaos of our life. You should all breathe a sigh of relief that at least your days aren't as bad as that fruit gal 😜

[OneStepAtATime]

Hugs fruit gal.  :)

 

[OneStepAtATime]

And OP, there will be better days.  There will.  Step back, take a deep breath and do some things that will help you feel more in control.  If that means catching up on laundry, do that.  If it is paying bills or exercising or doing yardwork or whatever, do that.  School will happen eventually but do something to put yourself back in the driver's seat.

 

And FWIW, you just never know what will happen the next day.  DS woke up at 8am today (he usually gets up at 10am) and has already completed one lesson of history, has started a second and is planning to tackle math right after that.  He also logged on to CNN Student News to catch up a bit on current events.  He asked me to give him a master list of all the things he needs to work on next week so that while I am gone over the weekend he can knock out anything he doesn't need immediate help with or that DD or DH can help with.  This is the boy that 4 days ago was refusing to ever do any math ever again, or anything requiring handwriting or reading and told me he was running away from home.

 

Just embrace the roller coaster.  It will all work out in the end.  :)

[fruitofthewomb]

OneStep & all the rest-yall are awesome :)

[fruitofthewomb]

OP-I meant to say in my long winded post-you are not alone. I feel that way so often but I know that's just not true. Hugs to you!! Hoping today was better for you

[mommymonster]

Today has been particularly trying. Usually we start work at 9 and work until noon. After lunch, we do coding (code.org), reading, and random classes and projects. DS9 is not really independent, and he does a maze on his own. Everything else, we talk through. 

 

However, for special fun today, my DS9 staged a sit-in to protest attending a music class. DS5 did school without too much fuss and we finished math and reading in about 15 minutes. DS9 decided that the sit-in was a bit over-the-top (I would agree) and decided to do his work sua sponte. He wrote the alphabet, did three levels of a MCT four-level sentence analysis and basically berated himself (although I tried to stop him repeatedly). So... yeah. We'll regroup and try again tomorrow. 

 

I think that we're personally dealing with February-itis. And cabin fever -- we haven't been able to camp for months due to travel and illness. Well, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it! 

 

Hopefully, your day will be better tomorrow. Stock up on treats for both you and the kids. Consider playing math games for a stress-reliever. If you can swing a special lunch out, maybe that. Otherwise, food on the floor is hugely motivating (we call them living room picnics).  :grouphug:

[merry gardens]

...

 

Just embrace the roller coaster.  It will all work out in the end.   :)

 

When we encounter roller coasters, it's also okay to sometimes just throw our hands up in the air and scream.  :D

 

My sympathies to the original poster and anyone else whose having a bad day.

[PeterPan]

Real life? Post-illness I have much lower energy, so ds dragged me out of bed.  I don't really remember what happened, but I know I solved it by putting him in front of the BJU Heritage Studies 2 online lessons I signed him up for.  Dressed, grabbed breakfast, drove through snow and slush to swim lessons, returned to child who wanted only to play apps.  Reminded him that app time is EARNED (except of course when Mom has pneumonia and you get it constantly), so he does 1/2 hour of Ears (Barton) with me, whining and dying, to earn his app time.  Gets app time.  Fights with sister.  Eats something.  (The day is a blur, can you tell?)  Fights some more, and Mom tries to figure out whether he needs more a nap or more academics to wear out his brain.  He demands to make a book, so we trim papers and make a book.  He puts stickers on the cover and dictates a page.  Now he's willing to nap.  He naps (rests with his kindle playing stories) for 1/2 hour while I knock out some math with dd.  He comes out and begins hitting to get attention.  He goes back for his app nap, dd finishes math, dd crashes on her bed for nap, and ds begins his math.  Ds does math with me (Ronit Bird, maybe a 1/2 hour), then asks for tape and disappears to do a project.  I go down to talk to dh for a couple minutes about dd's most recent meltdown over spanish and we debate how to handle spanish for next year.  Dd wakes up and gives her input on the spanish saga.  Dh begins the lecture.  I take ds to eat and go to gymnastics (It's now 5:30).  I get an hour to myself between sessions and then I go pick him up.

 

I got to eat in there somewhere.  I know the day happened.  Dd did her list of things inbetween all that.  It's just one or two things I need to drive with her.  The main stuff is the drama with ds (hitting, wanting this, wanting that, not wanting this, communication, wanting it this way not that way, sigh).  His energy is so high and I'm only there on good days.  The BJU online classes are my new cover my butt.  That teacher is on and enchanting when my energy tanks, so she's worth gold to me.

 

As far as the math meltdowns, I guess if you don't want them change something.  I don't know.  I've either never had it or am too lazy to create one.  I mean that must take some mental stamina to listen to that for three hours.  I'd just take the paper and walk away or sit down and say oops I'll do it and do it for him or get a bowl of enticing food and start feeding or get a bowl of food and feed yourself as you feed the answers or hug and nap together till whatever horrible thing is going on goes away or pray over the child and lay on hands.  Like I'm not charismatic, but I swear some things are just mystifying.  Like you just pray and feed and hug and rinse and repeat a bunch.  I really think our kids struggle to communicate the issue and they're less bad than our frustration makes us feel like they are and more frustrated than they're able to communicate.  That's just my two cents, but that's what I think.  So when I can't figure it out, I feed, pray over them, nap them.  I just don't have energy to supervise sit-ins or whatever. If that's all that's gonna get done, we all might as well go watch a movie and at least have a good time.  Either way the same amount of math got done, kwim?  Some days are just like that.

[texasmama]

Science test meltdown today here, just to switch it up a bit. ;)

[IsabelC]

Thank you so much for that outpouring of experience, wisdom and kindness. And big  :grouphug: to those who are are having a bad day today (and extra big :grouphug: to those for whom every day is a difficult day).

 

We are having a far better time today. It's 11.15. Kitchen is clean, laundry is done. We have completed chores, math (ds completed the same amount as yesterday in 35 minutes no problems), geography game, LA work, and they are half way through free reading. Next up is read aloud, then lunch break, so with only history and music planned for this afternoon I have a reasonable chance of getting everything done today  :hurray:

 

 

 

 

[FairProspects]

I had a kid refuse to do anything today except read a book in bed. Literally. Loss of screens, toys, and even a delayed lunch were not enough to entice him to do anything else. February sucks. The END.

[texasmama]

I had a kid refuse to do anything today except read a book in bed. Literally. Loss of screens, toys, and even a delayed lunch were not enough to entice him to do anything else. February sucks. The END.

I know, right?

 

I was all giddy about fixing math when science broke! The next day, too. Can't I have a day to luxuriate in our amazing success???

[texasmama]

OP, I am so glad you had a better day!

[KSinNS]

Glad to hear today was better. My house is a mess, I have no idea what's in the fridge or the bank account, and to get it all done, I've let lots of things go (history is my husband reading at snack time and science is when we see something interesting we talk about it). I have to be done school by lunch most days, so I use circle time liberally, and really pick and choose what is important, and if I'm running out of time, I let it go. I have a vague idea of what I want done in a year, but I don't set specific pages, or plan to do x pages per day. That really helps with the stress. And we usually come out about where I would hope, though with T we've had to reevaluate and go back a few times to shore up missing skills. Frustrating, but worth it when she gets it. So, for example, with her I had to add on reading program this year, so I let grammar go. I couldn't do both. 

 

With tears, it depends on the kid. I figure my kids are crying in frustration. T really struggles with coping with challenge, but can work through her tears, so when she cries, we try figure out what the problem is, and how to solve it. Sometimes that gets her through and works on her "grit" skills, though if she gets really upset, we move on. T usually cries just before a breakthrough. 

 

 

S on the spectrum, on the other hand, is getting more control but usually crying is the beginning of the end. If he cries a little, we'll work on the problem (it's almost always math for him) and if he gets it, great. If he doesn't or, "it's too hard I can't do it" starts, he's heading for a meltdown, so I usually say, "just leave it and we'll do it tomorrow." And he gets it tomorrow most of the time. I do encourage S to take breaks when he needs them. Self-regulation is more of a priority. 

 

I also start a skill very small. D is learning narration, and has zero attention span, so he narrates 1 paragraph, badly, but he'll have to practise that until he gets it. T is getting better at copybook, but we were at 4 words at the beginning of the year (to keep her accurate). S can narrate what he has heard orally but not what he reads, so we're working on that. I've cut the amount back to a few pages. 

 

All that helps, but some days are just disasters, and then it's time to suck your thumb, have a hot bath and know tomorrow is another day. :-} It's really hard not to compare kids or capabilities or materials people cover. I struggle with this, a lot.