Gentlemommy Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 If you have researched this, or actually adopted internationally, can you help me? I know that the adoption 'industry' has its dark side, and there are people and organizations out there that are less than forthcoming. I've wanted to adopt for as long as I can remember. It's not realistic right this moment, but I'm doing my research. I want to make sure I start with a trustworthy agency...I have a ton of questions to ask, and I'm overwhelmed with not even knowing where to start. Perhaps if I had an agency I could trust, they could walk me through the first few steps/questions I should ask and things I should learn about. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scbusf Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 We have adopted twice from China through Holt International. I have nothing but good things to say about our experiences with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 We went with (and highly recommend) Holt International, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 I also have friends who have adopted through Holt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 We adopted from Korea in 2005-2006 with this local agency. You can ask them for recommendations for agencies in your area. http://www.dillonsouthwest.org/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3girls4me Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 MLJ Adoption Agency out of Indianapolis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 I've heard great things about Holt and WACAP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentlemommy Posted January 14, 2015 Author Share Posted January 14, 2015 Thanks! This board is awesome. â¤ï¸ Ok, now I have a starting place...any book or documentary recommendations? Especially regarding how to parent and bond? I'm aware that attachment issues are a high risk, and especially from the locations I am interested in. I want to be as educated and realistic as possible. Right now I've got rose colored glasses on, but I know it's not always a story book ending. I need to know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zimom Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 We adopted through Chinese Children Adoption International (CCAI). I highly recommend them for many reasons including the fact that their fees tend to be much lower then other agencies and when you are in country you will have some of the best guides around. The last thing we wanted was to be half way around the world where we did not speak the language trying to bring home our child and run into problems. If you are not interested in China, I also recommend Holt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Here are some books I have recently found helpful with parenting & adoption. Building the Bonds of Attachment by Daniel Hughes Whole Brain Child by Daniel Siegel Brain Based Parenting by Daniel Hughes Preparing for Adoption by Julia Davis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violamama Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 We just came home 5 months ago from China with Holt. In fact we had our second Social Worker visit today. I have nothing but positive things to say about Holt and the China Child of Promise program in particular. I highly respect their operations in the countries where they are active. "No biking in the house without a helmet" is a fun book. "Wish You Happy Forever" by Jenny Bowen is an interesting recent history of some of the developments in China FWIW, you have to look pretty hard to find an agency that is doing something "illegitimate" and frankly there are so many rules and regulations that even when the corruption is in the country itself it is NOT currently the norm. I'm sure you don't mean it that way, but the title of your thread could imply that it's the other way around. Sometimes families who have adopted internationally get sensitive about that. Again, just FWIW. If you're interested in finding forums there are multiple groups on Facebook and elsewhere full of adoptive families who would I'm sure help you find the information you want. There is one called "Holt Families" that is pretty active. You have to ask to be admitted, but I think they do allow prospective adoptive parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Ivy Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 I don't know if they actually do adoptions, but this organization does adoption grants if you're needing assistance. http://showhope.org/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susie in SWVA Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 We adopted from Russia with Children's Home Society of Minnesota (we live in Virginia). They have been around a long time, were extremely helpful here and in Russia. We had a very good experience. They do adoptions from many countries and domestic. Susie in SWVA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Not only will you need to research agencies, but you need to research what criticisms and complaints different people have had with different policies in birth countries. There are all sorts of ethics issues that can come into play, so be aware of them and decide what you think of them before you get into the adoption process. Never assume anything about policies or social issues that are interrelated in an international adoption. Talking to third parties experienced in dealing with international adoptees is an important source of information too. (Developmental peds, attachment therapists, etc.) Don't believe everything an agency tells you, even a reputable one. Don't believe everything a foreign government tells you, even the more reputable ones. Don't believe everything an author tells you, even a reputable one. Don't believe everything experienced adoptive parents tell you, even reputable ones. Don't believe everything adult adoptees tell you, even reputable ones. Don't believe everything medical staff specially trained to deal with international adoptee issues tell you, even reputable ones. Instead, take a critical thinking approach to everything you hear and cross reference things between all of the above listed people. Don't blindly accept anything. Consider it. Question it. Weight it. Compare it. I personally know a dozen adoptive families who adopted internationally. Way too many went in assuming everything the "reputable" person or entity told them was true. If they had compared more against each other, they would've had a fuller, more dimensional view of the realities involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 We adopted from China through Holt. Overall it was a good experience. I just want to caution you, though, that there can be things about your child that are not disclosed. My daughter has much more significant special needs than we were told. I'm not faulting Holt. It was more on the China end of things. While I love my daughter dearly, I would be dishonest if I didn't admit to how hard it is to parent her. Just be prepared for the unexpected. I hope I'm not coming off as discouraging, but I just want to share my experience. I do believe in and advocate adoption. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 We adopted from Russia with Children's Home Society of Minnesota (we live in Virginia). They have been around a long time, were extremely helpful here and in Russia. We had a very good experience. They do adoptions from many countries and domestic. Susie in SWVA We actually live walking distance to Children's Home Society's offices. We know MANY families who have had wonderful experiences with them. http://www.chsfs.org/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pronghorn Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 For info on attachment, check out attach-china.org. There is an associated yahoo group that helped me tremendously. You have to have your child home and struggling with attachment to join. Some of the wisest parents in the world are in that group. The group includes parents who adopted from different countries, not just China. I suggest you research developmental trauma disorder. And read about attachment. One of the biggest names is John Bowlby, I think. Something like that. He writes the theoretical stuff not self-help. Robert Karen may be another writer on the subject. Know attachment and trauma inside out and you have a good chance of understanding your child. Be ready to parent in a non-punitive way. Expect wrong information from the sending country. Research your agency on the Internet. I have a friend who had a rocky time with a very bad agency (now out of business), which delayed the adoption and had a hugely negative impact on the kids. Network with other prospective parents if you can. Yahoo groups were big for that in our day, although they have now declined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Karyn Purvis has some great books and DVDs, and I believe has seminars as well on adoption and attachment. Here's a link to some of her stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahj Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 We adopted through Chinese Children Adoption International (CCAI). I highly recommend them for many reasons including the fact that their fees tend to be much lower then other agencies and when you are in country you will have some of the best guides around. The last thing we wanted was to be half way around the world where we did not speak the language trying to bring home our child and run into problems. . I second the recommendation of CCAI. We used them for both our adoptions and have nothing but good things to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 We used American World Adoption Agency (AWAA). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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