Katy Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Did anyone else DVR this show last night? I'm watching it right now. Can't get over the idea that some of those guys are probably tempted to have affairs with each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 The Learning Channel, how far you have fallen!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I'm not watching it. It seems like a terrible idea for a show..but then it's TLC. I just don't get the stuff people will watch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I'm not watching it. It seems like a terrible idea for a show..but then it's TLC. I just don't get the stuff people will watch. Right there with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I suppose we all have our shows that people question or judge. I'm still trying to figure out how The Bachelor is still on TV. When I'm alone I will watch reruns of 16 and Pregnant. Kelly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 The Learning Channel, how far you have fallen!! No kidding. I remember when TLC was new and a friend loved to watch the surgical procedures they showed. Haven't heard of this show. Won't be watching. I only like the cooking and house hunting "reality" shows. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 I suppose we all have our shows that people question or judge. I'm still trying to figure out how The Bachelor is still on TV. When I'm alone I will watch reruns 16 and Pregnant. Kelly Thank you. It's not often that I feel that irritated with someone being rude to me on the internet, but this morning I was. I found the concept interesting from the previews. Probably because a friend of mine recently had her husband leave. He's gay, he said he told her he struggled with that before they got married, though she has no recollection of that. He decided that not only did God not care if he left her and their five kids, but that God had never wanted him to get married, so he has no responsibility for any of them. He quit his job. He's not paying child support. This after insisting for years that she be a stay at home mom (I'd always thought there was an abusive, controlling aspect to their relationship). To say I want to strangle him for abandoning his kids and not giving them any financial support is an understatement. Right after I heard he was leaving her I read a blog post about a Mormon man who decided to get married to a woman because having a family was more important to him than his orientation was. And then last week on the Talk the show discussed this special on TLC. Sarah said it might not be popular, but she definitely thought people should have the right to marry whoever they wanted, even if they identified as gay or bi but their religion said it was wrong. That's when I decided to watch it. I didn't expect much, but what they delivered was even worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 While I can understand a sort of dark fascination with this show, I feel like giving any legitimization to the bogus "therapy" that converts LGBT people to straight is bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 While I can understand a sort of dark fascination with this show, I feel like giving any legitimization to the bogus "therapy" that converts LGBT people to straight is bad. There was no talk of conversion therapy. They said the Mormon church teaches that people are pretty much born with whatever attractions they might have, but that faith, family, marriage, and children are more important. They also said they expected it to never go away, but it didn't change what was more important to them. I found it certainly healthier than the attitudes I've seen in the evangelical circles I've been involved in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Hm. I still feel like the message that "you can live as a straight person even if you're gay" is damaging to LGBT people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 My boyfriend in high school (I'll call him "Nate") and I were both very religious (evangelical Christian). We lived separate (though nearby towns) right on the border of Utah and had lots of Mormon friends. He was baptized into the Mormon church (he didn't mention this to me beforehand). He withdrew membership a week later by refuting all of the beliefs he had to profess, when he had a change of heart and the importance of his college scholarships really dawned on him. We went out separate ways in college. He to a conservative Christian college, me to a state college. After meeting some gay fellows in college, I realized that Nate was probably gay. Years later, we've reconnected. I've been happily married for 17 years, and he's been with his male partner of 15 years (whom he met in church choir.) We've talked somewhat about our rememberances and faith (I'm an atheist, he's still a Christian). He told me that part of what attracted him to Mormonism was that Nate thought he was probably gay, and that one of his friends (a Mormon) was probably gay as well, but that his friend expressed how there were was that gay people could be changed. There are several LDS-based groups founded on the concept that gays can change Evergreen International (now defunct) and North Star are the ones I'm familiar with. One of the men on this show used to the be chair of Evergreen International. Nate, the first time we talked about faith and homosexuality told me, "I'm just so glad I never married a woman." And I understand what he means--not that he might just not be compatible with a woman, but to marry a woman and have a family and then really be crushed if it didn't work out because he had denied reality for so long. Maybe these men and their families will make it, and maybe they won't. I do wish them well and happiness and a minimum of pain. I hope they will come back to this show in 20 years with the same families. I have no idea how I (a straight woman) would manage to live my entire life in a marriage relationship if I forced myself to marry a woman because I felt the alternative was wrong. Marriage is hard enough for a lot of people without something like this on top of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Having watched what my cousins went through when my uncle came out and divorced his wife in the 70's this show holds no interest for me. I lived it. It was a terrible time in my family. My aunt felt betrayed for having a husband who was living a lie with her. I think it is cruel to marry someone because you are denying who you are. Then you have kids on top of it. Awful. I loved tlc in the beginning. All those surgeries. Fascinating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Hm. I still feel like the message that "you can live as a straight person even if you're gay" is damaging to LGBT people. I agree. Especially since heterosexuality is not a prerequisite for having a family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Can't imagine either the husband or the wife would want to be on public television broadcasting this. How bizarre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I just want to point out that the church doesn't teach that homosexuals should marry the opposite sex. This is their official release: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-responds-to-questions-regarding-upcoming-tlc-program Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I haven't seen it and probably won't see it. This article was an interesting enough read: http://m.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/01/the-profound-lack-of-empathy-in-my-husbands-not-gay/384414/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Can't. I boycotted TLC the moment I first saw a Toddlers and Tiaras commercial. That was the final exploitation straw for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I just want to point out that the church doesn't teach that homosexuals should marry the opposite sex. This is their official release: http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-responds-to-questions-regarding-upcoming-tlc-program In full disclosure though, they DID used to. THANKFULLY they've moved away from it, and leave it as a possible choice, NOT a cure; and if that choice is made heavy, heavy, HEAVY emphasis is put on their being full disclosure between the couple of just what it is they're doing. Now, that's not to say that Mormon culture has completely caught up with what the leadership is trying to put down (that homosexuality is NOT a choice, as they say on mormonsandgays.org, and that these type of MOM relationships are NOT a "cure"), and considering how long many of the MOMs shown in "My Husband's Not Gay" have been going on (most over a decade, it seems), it would appear to me that their relationships started just before, or in the early stages of this shift in thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I saw about 10 minutes of it. I find it interesting because I know that in Muslim circles, this happens. Some Shaykhs will tell men who are brave enough to admit they may be gay that getting married will "cure" them, or that they have to get married regardless to fulfill any sexual urges. Even more troubling, they'll say that they don't have to tell their prospective spouse. I don't know how widespread it is, but knowing how deadly and culturally taboo it can be to be gay in some Muslim countries, I'm betting it happens in about 5-10% of marriages. I'm glad (at least from what I could tell) that these men were honest with these women before marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 In full disclosure though, they DID used to. THANKFULLY they've moved away from it, and leave it as a possible choice, NOT a cure; and if that choice is made heavy, heavy, HEAVY emphasis is put on their being full disclosure between the couple of just what it is they're doing. Now, that's not to say that Mormon culture has completely caught up with what the leadership is trying to put down (that homosexuality is NOT a choice, as they say on mormonsandgays.org, and that these type of MOM relationships are NOT a "cure"), and considering how long many of the MOMs shown in "My Husband's Not Gay" have been going on (most over a decade, it seems), it would appear to me that their relationships started just before, or in the early stages of this shift in thinking. How does that work?? Who in their right mind says, "Ok, you've admitted you are gay but I'll marry you anyway. It will all be fine."??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 How does that work?? Who in their right mind says, "Ok, you've admitted you are gay but I'll marry you anyway. It will all be fine."??? Maybe someone who believes that being gay is a choice? I don't know of course, but you asked and that is the only answer I can think of. I also would not watch that show. It is perpetuating the idea that gay people can be 'changed' or live a happy life in denial of who they are. I actually think it is pretty sad that TLC is show it. I think a lot of people, especially young people just coming out, could be hurt by this show. I don't think TLC should be encouraged to continue with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted January 12, 2015 Author Share Posted January 12, 2015 I think it's a one-off special, not a series. I can't imagine being the wives either. Or being good with overnight camping trips with men she'd never met. I would never be ok with DH taking an overnight camping trip with a woman. Heck, I once got really irritated that he had to go on a business trip out of country with a 300+ pound completely obnoxious woman that irritated us both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 How does that work?? Who in their right mind says, "Ok, you've admitted you are gay but I'll marry you anyway. It will all be fine."??? Maybe someone with poor self-esteem who thinks they won't get anyone else or someone who thinks "the gay" can be cured or forgotten about with enough/the right kind of love/food/sex? Just wild guesses based on my informal study of human emotion, esteem, and general what makes us tick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 There is a third choice. Don't marry and don't act on homosexual urges. People do remain single and chaste their entire lives and quite enjoy the other parts of life. And this is whether they are straight or homosexual. There are all sorts of reasons people aren't married, can't get married, won't get married....it doesn't have to spell doom and gloom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 There is a third choice. Don't marry and don't act on homosexual urges. People do remain single and chaste their entire lives and quite enjoy the other parts of life. And this is whether they are straight or homosexual. There are all sorts of reasons people aren't married, can't get married, won't get married....it doesn't have to spell doom and gloom. Yes, but what if you don't want to be celibate? What if you want a family and a partner and someone to grow old with. What if you want to have a loving sexual relationship with a life partner? Even people who dedicate their lives to god and chose to live celibate lives have difficulty with it, and they don't always succeed. Having had a family member become a nun I can tell you it isn't an easy lifestyle and not one taken up easily. It takes dedication and constant checking it with support people etc. At least that is how it was for my cousin. It was something that was actively talked about and 'managed' within the religious order. A loving family life doesn't seem like something that most people can just shrug off like a coat. Could you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I am not watching that. That sort of thing is why I canceled cable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Sounds really weird. I guess they are running low on ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 There is a third choice. Don't marry and don't act on homosexual urges. People do remain single and chaste their entire lives and quite enjoy the other parts of life. And this is whether they are straight or homosexual. There are all sorts of reasons people aren't married, can't get married, won't get married....it doesn't have to spell doom and gloom. I think unless you've lived it, it's hard to understand the extreme focus on families within Mormon culture and theology. It is not a religion in which the single, contemplative life is a valid choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Yes, but what if you don't want to be celibate? What if you want a family and a partner and someone to grow old with. What if you want to have a loving sexual relationship with a life partner? Even people who dedicate their lives to god and chose to live celibate lives have difficulty with it, and they don't always succeed. Having had a family member become a nun I can tell you it isn't an easy lifestyle and not one taken up easily. It takes dedication and constant checking it with support people etc. At least that is how it was for my cousin. It was something that was actively talked about and 'managed' within the religious order. A loving family life doesn't seem like something that most people can just shrug off like a coat. Could you? We all want one thing or another that can't come to pass for one reason or another. The real question is will you stay true to your religious and moral values even when it means life gets tough for you. There are people who are single and chaste who WANT to be married with a romantic sexual partner but for some reason they can't be. There are all kinds of reasons that might be. Being attracted to same sex can be/ is often one of those reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I think unless you've lived it, it's hard to understand the extreme focus on families within Mormon culture and theology. It is not a religion in which the single, contemplative life is a valid choice. I have a lot of Morman relatives....some devout some not so much.....but you are right most are married. I know it would be hard to buck a culture.....but this is where it comes in as to whether you are serving God or a religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I have a lot of Morman relatives....some devout some not so much.....but you are right most are married. I know it would be hard to buck a culture.....but this is where it comes in as to whether you are serving God or a religion. Or if you think it is something God would even care about. Seems like a pretty small thing to me, all things considered. And none of us can claim to actually know the answer to that one with 100% certainty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Hm. I still feel like the message that "you can live as a straight person even if you're gay" is damaging to LGBT people. Why? I can't choose to be married to a man and have children with him and care about my family without it being damaging to me if I find woman more sexually appealing? How is it damaging to tell people that you can choose how you want to live your life regardless of your orientation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Why? I can't choose to be married to a man and have children with him and care about my family without it being damaging to me if I find woman more sexually appealing? How is it damaging to tell people that you can choose how you want to live your life regardless of your orientation? Because there are people who are being told they should marry a man or a woman when they know it isn't what they want to do. Just like there are people who tell gays and lesbians to become celibate when it might not be something they want to do. If you want to get married to a man knowing that you are not sexually attracted to him, and he is ok with that, then great. I don't hold out a lot of hope of a truly intimate and loving marriage but best of luck to you both. I have 4 friends who tried that and it didn't end well, but maybe they did got a bad batch. But there are a lot of gay and lesbian people out there who are getting the message that instead of having the intimate loving relationship they want (with a person of the same gender) they can just knuckle down and 'make it work'. I am concerned that this show will be help up as 'proof' of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Why? I can't choose to be married to a man and have children with him and care about my family without it being damaging to me if I find woman more sexually appealing? How is it damaging to tell people that you can choose how you want to live your life regardless of your orientation? Seems like a disaster waiting to happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Or if you think it is something God would even care about. Seems like a pretty small thing to me, all things considered. And none of us can claim to actually know the answer to that one with 100% certainty. But there are people who very very much believe God does care about our conduct. Those people who also are attracted to same sex must feel very burdened....and then they have people screaming at them from all sides.....you can change your attraction...just get married and have a family.....or you should be true to your own attraction just forget opposite sex marriage and go find a homosexual partner.....i just want to point out there is a third option. And that a single and chaste life can be very wonderful especially if it allows you to remain true to your own values. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Why? I can't choose to be married to a man and have children with him and care about my family without it being damaging to me if I find woman more sexually appealing? How is it damaging to tell people that you can choose how you want to live your life regardless of your orientation? So if it was more socially acceptable, you would feel okay marrying a woman, having sex with her, and raising children with her and never fulfilling any desires to be with a man? If so, great. You're a flexible person who can go with the flow of what is considered best for you by society. I actually think that's a useful trait. But I also totally understand when someone cannot and when their psyche and sense of self are really harmed by that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 So if it was more socially acceptable, you would feel okay marrying a woman, having sex with her, and raising children with her and never fulfilling any desires to be with a man? If so, great. You're a flexible person who can go with the flow of what is considered best for you by society. I actually think that's a useful trait. But I also totally understand when someone cannot and when their psyche and sense of self are really harmed by that. I can understand that many people need to be given the freedom to go with what they feel is best. But I don't think it's wrong to also remind them that they do have a choice to choose other things. I hear a big push for people to be able to do what they feel is best, and that's good. But in some places, and with some people I've met, it's become almost what they feel they are expected or have to do if they think they are homosexual. It becomes the societal expectation in some areas. There are choices. I think ALL the choices should be put out there. People aren't really being given the right to choose if they don't know what choices there are. They can choose a celibate lifestyle (although I feel for them with that one), they can choose a same sex relationship, or they can choose a heterosexual relationship. Regardless of what they feel their orientation is. And yes going against your orientation might end up meaning that the intimacy in the marriage is not the same, but a relationship where you love, care about, and are there for the other person is completely possible. ETA: Yes I would feel okay marrying a woman, and having sex with her, and raising children with her, if that had been the norm in this area, and if that had been what I felt was the wisest choice for my future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 If the ratings for that show are good, I think we can count on a sequel called "My Husband's Not Gay -- BUT I AM." And of course the husbands will all be shocked and amazed, despite the fact that they knew they were going to be on a show called, "My Husband's Not Gay, but I Am." :rolleyes: It is so pathetic how low people are willing to stoop just to try to be "famous." Hey, so what if they are a complete and total embarrassment to their families and who cares if their kids are ridiculed for years to come, right? It's all about getting a chance to be on TV. YUCK. :ack2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Dory, you still didn't address my question, which was, would you actually feel okay about doing that for yourself? Of course people can make other choices. I could make the choice to "be" an extrovert... except since my brain is wired to be introverted, I'd probably just be making myself miserable all the time. And would I really be an extrovert, or just a miserable introvert who was forcing herself to pretend? You can choose your behavior. You can't choose your desires or preferences. Selling it as a choice masks that very important distinction. ETA: And you added an answer. Okay then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Can't imagine either the husband or the wife would want to be on public television broadcasting this. How bizarre. :iagree: What makes it even worse is that they probably answered an ad on the TLC website looking for people in their situation. "Gee honey, we're gonna be on TV!" :party: Apparently Maury Povich kept turning them down, so they had to go to TLC instead... :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Dory, you still didn't address my question, which was, would you actually feel okay about doing that for yourself? Of course people can make other choices. I could make the choice to "be" an extrovert... except since my brain is wired to be introverted, I'd probably just be making myself miserable all the time. And would I really be an extrovert, or just a miserable introvert who was forcing herself to pretend? You can choose your behavior. You can't choose your desires or preferences. Selling it as a choice masks that very important distinction. Sorry, I realized I had missed actually answering your question and edited the post to add my answer, but obviously you had read it before I edited it. Yes I would feel okay about doing that for myself. It might not be the happiest I could feel, but I don't tend to live my life based on what is going to be the absolute happiest, but rather what is going to be the easiest for all involved and the most even emotionally long term. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 :iagree: What makes it even worse is that they probably answered an ad on the TLC website looking for people in their situation. "Gee honey, we're gonna be on TV!" Apparently Maury Povich kept turning them down, so they had to go to TLC instead... :D I think some of them are probably gay themselves or they may be asexual or trans or some other sexual minority that isn't considered acceptable by their religion. I think many of them think they're doing this great good deed "rescuing" a gay man from having to be "gay." If you think what you're doing is right, then of course you want to show it off. And "help" others in the same situation. Gag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Do you guys remember the Friends episode where Phoebe was devastated to learn that her gay husband was actually straight? lol. Not exactly elevated humor or anything, but that was a great episode and that's what this thread brought to mind. Actually there was a lot of latent homophobia in that series, but that's neither here nor there I guess. I remember that. I saw a re run of it the other day..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 But there are people who very very much believe God does care about our conduct. Those people who also are attracted to same sex must feel very burdened....and then they have people screaming at them from all sides.....you can change your attraction...just get married and have a family.....or you should be true to your own attraction just forget opposite sex marriage and go find a homosexual partner.....i just want to point out there is a third option. And that a single and chaste life can be very wonderful especially if it allows you to remain true to your own values. Ok, I understand. I am pretty confident that most conservative religious people struggling with coming out have considered this option. In fact, among the people I know who are both religious conservatives and LGBT the default to celibacy is the first one that occurs to them. They first instinct is either "Oh, this ok, I can make this work. I'll just never act on this and be alone. It will be fine...just fine... I've got this, really I do." Or "Well, I will just have to be alone for the rest of my life. This is going to be horrible but I will just live with it." In the end, they either leave their faith altogether or find a welcoming church and faith. Or end up on TLC I guess? That was an option I had not considered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Ok, I understand. I am pretty confident that most conservative religious people struggling with coming out have considered this option. In fact, among the people I know who are both religious conservatives and LGBT the default to celibacy is the first one that occurs to them. They first instinct is either "Oh, this ok, I can make this work. I'll just never act on this and be alone. It will be fine...just fine... I've got this, really I do." Or "Well, I will just have to be alone for the rest of my life. This is going to be horrible but I will just live with it." In the end, they either leave their faith altogether or find a welcoming church and faith. Or end up on TLC I guess? That was an option I had not considered. How about the ones who stay single, celibate happy and healthy? They don't get press that is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 I suppose we all have our shows that people question or judge. I'm still trying to figure out how The Bachelor is still on TV. When I'm alone I will watch reruns of 16 and Pregnant. Kelly Survivor is the one I can't wrap my mind around. I can't see the appeal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Ugh. No. That hits a little too close to home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 It is so pathetic how low people are willing to stoop just to try to be "famous." Hey, so what if they are a complete and total embarrassment to their families and who cares if their kids are ridiculed for years to come, right? It's all about getting a chance to be on TV. YUCK. :ack2: In college (early 90's) I was an intern then a production assistant on The Richard Bey Show on Superstation WWOR. It was around the time the Jerry Springer show was starting to get hot due to all their crazy guests. We were a much lower budget, live, Secaucus, NJ version. Even though we were a super station, we only took guests from the local area. We would often put out end of show ads with Bey saying things like "Have you recently found out your boyfriend is also sleeping with your mom? Call us! We want to hear about it!" And people would call! I was always amazed what they were willing to go on tv and tell the world they would, could or did do. I took care of them off stage. Most of them seemed like nice normal people. And they often brought their kids to the studio. I just never got it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 From the beginning of the article: Gross. The people that want to dictate what these gay men (were there any gay women married to men featured on the show?) do or do not do keep perpetuating the WAY outmoded idea that sexual identity doesn't exist on a spectrum. That being a gay person means something besides the ONLY thing it means. "The gay lifestyle." :glare: I can't watch stuff like that because I feel simultaneously so sorry for the participants, and angry with them for continuing to create such unnecessary divisions. I also don't like the subtle (or not subtle) jabs at Mormonism inherent in something like this. A much more compelling show would involve religious LGBT people navigating their religions while being gay, without the specific focus of trying to make an opposite sex marriage work while being as gay as the day is long. I think most grown up religious people realize that they will have struggles in one direction or another. Google "Far Between". It's a series of you tube interviews (about to become a documentary) done by a practicing gay Mormon (meaning he's religiously active, but not -currently- sexually active) who interviews other gay Mormons. Some are in MOMs, some are in gay marriages, some are celibate, some still practice Mormonism, some have left it. It's really interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted January 12, 2015 Share Posted January 12, 2015 Ok, I understand. I am pretty confident that most conservative religious people struggling with coming out have considered this option. In fact, among the people I know who are both religious conservatives and LGBT the default to celibacy is the first one that occurs to them. They first instinct is either "Oh, this ok, I can make this work. I'll just never act on this and be alone. It will be fine...just fine... I've got this, really I do." Or "Well, I will just have to be alone for the rest of my life. This is going to be horrible but I will just live with it." In the end, they either leave their faith altogether or find a welcoming church and faith. Or end up on TLC I guess? That was an option I had not considered. There are plenty of single heterosexual men and women who don't believe that sex outside of marriage is pleasing to God. They don't always find a marriage partner, for whatever reason. Is leaving the faith or finding another one their only option? For many in that position, being without a partner isn't what they dreamed about or envisioned for themselves either. Yet I have known several that have found a way to remain faithful to their values. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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