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How do you do it "all"- homeschool, clean, cook, be mom, wife and stay sane!


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I didn't read all of the responses, so I am not sure if this is just a JAWM or if you really want insight in how to juggle all of the balls.  I can't thrive in chaos.  I need order to think and focus.  I can't let things slide, or it is not a minor thing to recover.  It is a huge deal.  (I hate getting behind in laundry b/c it is so much harder than simply keeping up with it in the first place.)

 

First, with kids your children's ages, school is a very short affair.  Life is difficult when all the kids are little b/c they can't clean up after themselves or take care of most things on their own.  However, the saving grace at this point in the game is that their school days are short.  It flips when they are older, they can help keep up with chores, but their school days are longer and your teaching responsibilities are greater.

 

I learned early on that I needed routine.  I get up in the morning and throw in a load of laundry.  Always.  Period.  

 

On our out of the house days, I plan a crockpot meal.  I cook a lot of extras every single meal. Leftovers become new meals.  :)  For example, last night I cooked a giant amt of chicken breasts.  Chicken salad is now lunch.  I have a free afternoon, so chicken pot pie is for dinner.  If I cook hamburgers or meatloaf, I make at least double.  That means lunch is covered and I can chop up leftovers and throw it in spaghetti sauce.

 

Messes are dealt with as they are made.  Breakfast is cleaned up after breakfast. Lunch after lunch.  There are so many of us that small messes become huge messes in a very short time span.

 

I always have a lesson planner for every child that is an independent reader.  I need to know what we are supposed to do every single day.  I have been through all of the material, I know the big picture of where we are going, I created the daily break down, BUT I can't remember what I expected day by day without actually writing it down.  Planners keep us on track so that all of our goals are met.  (I don't write planners for my younger kids b/c learning is too volatile at that stage and I can't predict effectively what their actual pace for mastery will be.)

 

We work in a consistent on/off pattern.  I try to avg about 6 weeks on with 1 off.  (sometimes is longer 7-8 or short 3 (around Thanksgiving/Christmas).  The off week is vital to my sanity.  It is the time for deep cleaning, major errands, doctor appts, and detailed planning for the next chunk of time.

 

I also am an efficient multi-tasker.  Not everyone can do this, but it is part of how I function.  I can fold laundry while calling out spelling words or while having a literature discussion.  I can prep a meal while someone discusses history with me.  They sit still and focus.  I can move around.  Unless I have to be sitting writing out examples for teaching, I can discuss while doing something else.

 

I don't know if that is at all helpful, but I can't go with the flow nor can I just let our household functioning slide.  I would have been miserable for the last 20+ yrs b/c those things really bother me.  If they didn't, I am positive I would function differently.  But since they do matter to me, I needed to find a way to make ME happy in the process of living this lifestyle.

 

 

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School is the priority.  A perfectly clean house is not.  Sanity is overrated.  :biggrinjester:

This. Kind of. I *must have* a clean home in order to stay sane... but my version of clean may not be yours. I don't mind if I'm a couple loads of laundry behind, but I do mind if I have piles of dishes to be washed and the floor desperately needs to be mopped, kwim?

During the day my only focus is school, play time, any necessary errands, and meals. You would be amazed at how clean the house stays by only taking one hour at night to sweep, mop, do the dinner dishes (I do a load during the day, too), and help the boys clean their rooms. I fold laundry while I watch tv at night with hubby :)

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In a house full of small children, it doesn't all get done. At least, not in my home.

 

We compromise and cut to bare minimums in many things. Dinner is frozen pizza more often than I care to admit. School today was math and typing for my older two and a reading lesson for the seven year old. The house is not clean, though some cleaning happens everyday (whatever progress I make is unmade pretty quickly by our resident two year old tornado). Audiobooks often take the place of read alouds.

 

There is only one of me, and I have human limitations. I prioritize and do what I can, dh does what he can, the kids pitch in as they are able and as I can find the energy and mental resources to direct them.

 

On the whole I enjoy our homeschooling lifestyle and recognize that every choice in life involves some trade-offs.

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How do I do it all? 

I don't.  :D

 

The type of person I am:  

I'm a GREAT planner.  I have running lists already for the next school year about halfway through the current one.  (So, yes, I have next year's list written down for all 3 kids).  I price compare, I buy stuff used when I find it cheap (but ONLY if it's something I'm looking for lol), I buy a lot used at our state HS convention, and I get everything planned out for the year during the summer.  I usually don't go back to it during the year because it's all done - all that has to happen is we do it.

I don't do a ton of hands on stuff with the kids.  They don't really care for learning activities (and never have), so I've gotten off easy on arts and crafts projects or things out of the SOTW activity guide.  :lol:  The boys both have a lot of independent work.  Pink will, too, when she is older.  

Along with the planning, I am the organizer of events and that works well for me because I like doing it.  So I do that.  I work with a couple others planning art classes and field trips, I collect money, I make reservations.  Etc.

 

I hate to clean.  I make the kids do (a lot of) it.  :lol:  

No, I'm not kidding.  Our house is never totally spotless but I an accept that.  It's always clean enough, though.  

 

I usually throw a load of laundry in at night.  Like, 8pm or after.  I am MUCH more likely to get it done that way, because I usually find myself having to pee more often later at night (from 8-11pm, or until I go to bed) and our laundry room is a half bathroom as well... and it's the one I use at night because it's closest to the living room, where I'm chilling out in front of the computer.  :lol:  So I go in there to pee and remember to throw them in the dryer.  It's win-win.  :D  (I only fold my/DH's laundry and Pink's laundry.  That part usually doesn't get done until I need to put another load in the dryer.  :D :lol: )

 

I don't like cooking.  I never have.  I do cook, however, because it's better (taste and quality) and (the biggest thing) cheaper.  But if I can't make it in 30 minutes or so, it's not happening.  

I go shopping for groceries every 2 weeks.  I only *cook* at dinner - breakfast and lunch not so much, I just have options for the kids.  I hate breakfast and I usually eat leftovers for lunch.  When I go shopping, I go with a list based on what I'll make for dinner for the next 2 weeks, plus what we'll need for the other 2 meals and snacks.  I don't know exactly *when* I'll make the meals on the list - it's not planned out day-by-day - and I occasionally deviate with something else that I have the ingredients for and end up not getting what's on the list.  Or we go out, usually once a week or so, for various reasons.  

 

As far as being mom and wife - meh, the mom part is all mixed in with the above.  I've never been one of those people who plays with children.  I don't mean that in a bad way lol - I just am saying my time spent on the floor building towers of blocks with my infants was minimal.  And it all worked out well.  I'm just mom through everything else I do all day, and that doesn't seem to faze the kids at all, it's not like they're missing out on something.  I guess I don't really see how being mom is anything different or specific??

 

And being wife - well, what does that mean?  DH comes home for lunch every day.  He gets off work around 4.  This will not always be the case (probably), but it has been for the last 5 years or so.  A couple nights a week I work from about 4-8, and we each have a couple outside commitments that take up a weeknight every week or so.  But nothing real major.  So we see each other a lot.  

 

So yeah, that's me.  Happily not doing it all.  :D

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Like others have said, school is priority number 1 for me. 

 

But, I don't think that anyone can get it all done....right? 

I do think that habits and routine help me to be as EFFICIENT as possible.   And all I can do besides that is try my best each day.  If I know that I worked my absolute hardest, I don't have guilt about a messy house, or an unfinished lesson or two.   On the other hand, if I've been reading on the couch all day---I **DO** feel a bit guilty because I know I didn't try my best.  

 

However, speaking of efficiency, here are some habits that help me to TRY to get some of it done:

 

1)  Memory Work / Morning cleaning session--  Right after breakfast, we have a DAILY morning cleaning session where we all work (together) to get the main floor of the house clean.  We do whatever we can before 9AM.  That is our cut-off time.   Anything left unfinished after that has to wait.  That way we can start our day with a "clean-ish" house.   I assign jobs as needed, and we all work together so I can make sure they are really working and doing things right.   Even the 1 year old has a little broom and towel.  (He watches us, so has just naturally started to try to help.  I don't actually give him jobs. lol) 

 

We also multi-task and get memory work accomplished at this time too.  I have all of our history/poetry/science/grammar/bible memory work in an itunes playlist.  (I recorded some of the stuff myself using garage band.)     Our rule is that your mouth has to be moving--and I have to hear your voice.  The end result is that we sort of sing our way through the cleaning process. 

 

On an ideal day, my morning cleaning list would include:  dishes, clear counters, wipe counters and table, sweep kitchen floor, start a load of laundry or diapers, pick up school room and family room, swish and swipe bathroom, feed animals, clear a hot spot, ask myself "whats for dinner" and thaw ingredients.  Of course, we NEVER get it all in before 9AM...but whatever we DO get in makes things just a little bit better. 

 

2)  Set meal times and MEALS-  Another thing that has really helped make things easier in our house is set meals and meal times.  I used to let the kids just make whatever they wanted when they wanted during the day.  The more kids you have, the uglier this scene gets. 

 

Kids have small stomachs, so they graze all day.  Before, someone was *ALWAYS* cooking something---so the kitchen was always messy.  (Sometimes I would be working with another child and not there to police cleaning up after themselves.)  Another bad thing was that 4-5 different meals generated a lot more dirty dishes than just making one thing.   The kids were also becoming picky eaters and always complaining about what they had to eat.  Plus, some of their choices weren't that healthy.  And we weren't really getting to spend time together.  

 

SO--we now have scheduled meal times:  8AM-Breakfast, 10AM-Snack, 12PM Lunch, 2PM Snack, 4PM Snack, 6PM Dinner.   As you can see, I give them LOTS of chances to eat.   lol  We stop whatever we are doing in school when one of these meal times hit.  I make ONE (1) meal for everyone.   If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it....but don't complain.  I choose what they are eating, so I can make sure they are actually getting fruits, veggies, and good proteins.    They can always eat again at the next meal.  (Tough love.)  We all sit down at the table, say a prayer and eat.  THEN (and here is the big thing)--we all clean up. 

 

We do a 4 phase quick clean in this order:  1) dishes, 2) counters, 3) wipe down, 4) sweep floor.   With so many quick cleans, it helps keep the kitchen from becoming really terrible.   This one change has REALLY, REALLY made things better in so many areas. 

 

3)  Sunday meal prep---  I meal plan and grocery shop on Sunday.   I post a meal plan on our fridge.  Then I do a TON of meal prep on Sunday that way everything is ready to go for the week.  That way EVERYTHING is convenience food.   Even REAL food.  Not just things that come in a box.  At first this used to take hours, but the more I do this, the faster I get.  I cook everything that is NOT a dinner for the week.  I wash and chop all of our raw veggies and fruit.  (That way we have a veggie tray ready to be pulled out at snack times.)   I hard boil eggs too for snack time and salads.  I make the veggie dips or dressings or sauce in the food processor so they are ready to go.  I fire up the grill and throw on pork chops, salmon, chicken, hamburgers, turkey meatballs or whatever other protein we are having for lunches/snacks.   I cook some veggies up for sides (green beans, roasted broccoli, butternut squash, etc.)   I put together a HUGE salad with all sorts of colorful veggies that can be pulled out for dinners and lunches throughout the week.  I make an egg casserole (or something like that) for breakfast.  I wash fruit and put it out in bowels. THEN, I wash out the fridge and package everything up.   When meal time hits, all we have to do is warm up whatever we are going to eat.  If we have a field trip, I can throw it in the cooler.  Easy as pie.  (This also takes the THINKING out of eating.  So I tend to make healthier choices.)  

 

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I'm going to go and read the whole thread because today I broke down and cried. For hours.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

You can't do it all. With little kids, you can barely do any of it.

 

However, we have all worn ourselves completely to a frazzle trying from time to time. Some of us pretty frequently :lol:

 

I always do at least one load of laundry a day. I run the dishwasher at least once. The kids can dust and run the vacuum. They can feed pets and tidy their rooms. But it still always looks like a tornado just went through my house!

 

But school is done :D :D

 

And then, I try really hard to just :chillpill:

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The post title says it all. I just want to see how everyone manages their time to get it done. It seems like when one area is going well another suffers. I have finally mastered meal planning and cut out last minute dinner panics but we did not get as much school done as I would have wanted.

 

If I have a clean house and caught up on laundry, then I am wiped out and we probably didn't get much playtime. If I read to my kids for an hour or two aloud (they love and are addicted to the Magic Treehouse series and Little House books) then something else gets waysided.

 

It is not a big deal now because I only have a Kinder, prek and one year old. But we plan on adding number four soon and then next year is first grade. So I am trying to figure this out. Thankful for any tips or how-tos.

 

From my perspective, there's a correlation here. ;) LOL. No, seriously, with littler kids, I was always wiped out, but it's easier now with 8, 8, and nearly 10.

 

When my three were little, I realized that if we were going to homeschool for the long haul, the children would have to help with the running of the home. There's only so much one mom can do, you know? So I started them with folding washcloths and matching socks. Really, that is how they started "doing chores" when they were toddlers. So cute. I can picture them still, folding the washcloths, matching the socks, putting away toys, singing the Barney Clean Up song, handing up the carrots and celery from the vegetable bin that I couldn't reach when I was pregnant with twins, getting pots and pans out from the cabinet so I could make soup, sweeping with those tiny red brooms.... sigh. They learned to love helping Mommy and Daddy. They learned to like doing real things. It's good to start them young, when they like it and think it's all fun, because (spoiler alert) that aspect doesn't eternally last, LOL. ;)

 

But now, we all do regular household chores every day. It's the only way that works for us to keep up with it all, but with everyone doing something, we get through what needs to be done and I don't feel like Martha the Maid. The time invested in training the kids has started to pay off with being able to turn over some things to them. The girls rotate their chores every three weeks, and the sets of chores are known around here by different bug names. :)

 

Ladybug  

take care of your rabbit daily (I change the bedding, but the girls do the rest)

sweep dining room/kitchen floors daily

sweep other rooms on rotation

fold & put away laundry daily (they put away all their own laundry & some household)

make your bed daily

room ready for "inspection" daily

breakfast--meal prep helper, empty dishwasher, table set & clear

all other tasks as assigned

 

Butterfly

take care of your rabbit daily

clean bathroom sinks & counters daily (butterfly bathroom & powder room alternate)

wipe tub rim after showers

switch out bathroom cups

trash round-up daily

stock toilet paper & tissues as needed

fold & put away laundry daily

make your bed daily

room ready for "inspection" daily

snack & lunch--snack prep & clean up, lunch prep helper, table set & clear

all other tasks as assigned

 

Bumblebee

take care of your rabbit daily

laundry round-up daily (with five people and two levels of stairs, this is actually a big job)

fold & put away laundry daily

make your bed daily

room ready for "inspection" daily

supper--meal prep helper, table set & clear

all other tasks as assigned

 

They also help with bringing in & stocking groceries, raking leaves & pulling weeds, shoveling snow, and anything else we direct them to do. If they are not independent with the task, then we only expect them to do it when we are willing to put in the effort to teach them and guide them. You have young children at this point, so you have a wonderful opportunity to bring them into the real work you do (at times) and allow them to learn to truly help you. Some day, when a load of laundry seems to fold itself or a bed seems to make itself (it happens!), you will thank yourself for this.

 

As for balancing out our lives, I try to just keep my finger on the pulse of what our family needs, when. It's not all about "doing school," and with children as young as yours, it shouldn't be. So when it's time to stop with one thing and do another, we pay attention to that. There are times when we would rather not be "doing school" just because it's more fun to goof off, but that's not the same as really needing to attend to other things to maintain the functioning of the home and the health of the family. If we're just in an I-don't-feel-like-doing-school-today mood, we push through that, we exercise our discipline and diligence! But if something besides school work truly needs attention, we pay attention to it, because it all kind of works together in a synergistic way. Most often, I find that what needs the most attention is the heart of my child -- that is, she needs me to take off my "teacher hat" and be her Mommy, perhaps put school aside for five minutes or the rest of that day. I encourage you to take whatever time your children need for nurture. Well-nurtured hearts learn faster and better, anyway. My two 8 year olds are snuggle-bugs and my big (almost) 10 year old needs plenty of loving. It's good to have them home so we can pour it in.

 

Honestly, after doing this a few years now, I think that (for us, at least) letting the other (non-school) areas of life go too long without attention is counterproductive. We just all function so much better when the house and its contents are (for us) reasonably organized, well-run, well-stocked, and clean. We like clean laundry, LOL. We need solid, healthy meals. We need exercise and rest and fellowship with others. We function best on a semi-structured (not scheduled) daily and weekly routine, with a few carefully selected outside activities that add some solid shape to our otherwise home-based week.

 

I think we maintain a much wider margin around our time than most people in this region seem to keep, but we need that margin in order to have enough family time, couple time, personal time, and rest. Other homeschoolers (and non-homeschoolers) we know seem to go in every direction, every day, every activity! Aaahh! I would be exhausted, if I kept up that routine. I don't know how some of those moms do all that running, but it would never work for me. I am tired thinking about it. We basically do all of our school work at home, with the exception of church midweek (which isn't school) and children's choir (which counts as [free!] music lessons). Add in church on Sunday and visits with grandparents and that's enough to keep going. We're happy with that. I'd rather do a few things well than a ton of things poorly, and I think that what we have committed to, we are doing well.

 

HTH.

 

Edited to add -- It helps enormously to get off these boards and go to bed on time. :lol: :lol: :lol:

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There is a story often repeated on the Sonlight forums about this very topic.   I'm going to totally misquote the thing....but it went something like this:

 

A homeschooling wife and mother gave her husband a piece of paper with a list on it. 

It read: 

1) a clean house,

2) educated kids,

3)  a delicious home-cooked dinner on the table,

4) A happy "willing" wife.  

 

Then she told him that she could pick 2 each day, but not all 4.  

 

I can't remember if that was the list of 4 things...or how many could be picked per day...or what.  Again, I am totally going to misquote this joke.   :) 

 

My point is...that joke sort of sums up our lives.    

You can choose to get school finished and dinner made.... and little beyond that.   At the end of the day, you will probably feel relaxed and happy.    You can choose to get school finished and have a spotless house---but you probably will be frazzled and in a bad mood.  (And dinner would certainly be carryout that night.  You just scrubbed the kitchen down for goodness sake!)  

 

You can't do everything each day. 

It is sort of like a balancing act.  Or the equivalent of trying to keep several plates spinning in the air.  The important thing is that you don't neglect any one area for too long.  You gotta give each plate a little spin now and then or they come crashing down. 

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- minimize outside commitments to what we really truly cannot do at home

- take time for myself- this recharges me

- have morning and evening routines for everyone in the home including Mom. (Reminds me to defrost meat etc)

- try to budget extra for some convenience. For example sometimes I pay a little more shop at the more expenaive grocery store because I can go there during piano lessons.

- realize there are days (at least once a week) where the whole house will be a disaster and you just can't do it all and catch up little by little when the moment strikes.

- lower your standards. We deep clean only every other week now and just vacuum, spray and straighten up in between. I just don't have time evey week anymore.

- eat healthy. This will give you a better mood and good energy level.

- go to sleep. Staying up half the night cleaning or grading papers will NOT catch you up. It'll spiral down because you will be less productive the following day.

- the kids should have chores and be held accountable to do them.

- teach independent homeschooling as early as possible (starting in about 3rd grade) and use curriculum that lends itself to that. Then, check their work and help them fix errors. Always meet wigha and check over their work every day. Do NOT sit with them all day long. (for more on this I recommend taking ideaa from Managers of their Schools...although I do not agree with all of their beliefs and you don't have to do it all exactly like her she really has a good system for independent learning that can get you started on ideas)

 

These are the things that work for me. I hope a few of them help.

 

One "like" was not enough! Excellent ideas, CT, thanks!

 

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I'm going to go and read the whole thread because today I broke down and cried. For hours.

Don't cry. 

If you were to walk into my house, God would I look *together*. The main floor of my house is generally very clean, very organized - living room, dining room, our bedroom, kitchen, etc.

Walk into my unfinished basement and you'll find my dirty little secret. Never less than several loads of laundry waiting to be washed; several more waiting to be folded; stacks and stacks and stacks of boxed (not organized AT. FREAKING. ALL); and overflowing, clean but unorganized dry food shelf, etc. In fact, if you walk to the bottom of my stairs and don't watch your step, YOU WILL trip over dirty towels waiting to be thrown in. I'm pretty darn terrible about "out of sight, out of mind" :P

Some people really CAN do it all. I'm not one of them. I literally cannot function if the main living space is messy... but I have no problem functioning if an area I do not see constantly is messy. 

I'm in tears just thinking about what needs to be gone through and organized before we put the house on the market in just a few (short) weeks. That doesn't matter, though. What matters to me is that I can read aloud to my minions when they ask, school work gets done more often than not these days (we shoot for 4 days a week, because I generally need to set aside a "flex day" for appointments and errands), my husband thinks I do an amazing job (what is he THINKING?! He's seen that basement!), and I can breathe. 

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As most have said, you can't do it all -- and that's okay. What matters most is finishing the priorities that your family decides upon and not feeling guilty about not doing what you deem has no value. There's also going to be a lot of things that you do each day that have great value -- playing and reading with your children, kissing ouchies, snuggling, loving, and all those things we do to raise our families -- that you can't actually see or touch at the end of the day. Make sure to leave time for those things as you strive to "do it all."

 

In our family, we chose to try to not let anything go. We just had to lower our standards. Family relationships were and are a high priority for us and we tried to nurture these above all. Educating our children was also a top priority so unless there was an emergency or a really darn good reason, it took place everyday. We enjoy a clean house so it was picked up most of the time although deeper cleaning took place less often when we had littles. Crockpot meals and freezer cooking replaced more elaborate meals. Loving my husband also looked different -- more bonding over family events and fewer, but more appreciated " private times".

 

Here's a few things that have helped us stay sane over the years:

 

Finding and keeping a routine has worked best for our family. We were super picky about what we chose to do outside the house, especially in the evenings. If an activity took us away from home at dinner time, it had better have had great value for us. We chose not to do team sports except for Upwards which has very little practice and game commitments. Instead we would bowl, swim, hike, snow ski, etc. Having a less hectic schedule allowed everyone to get enough sleep and rest.

 

As others have said be ruthless about clutter, including books, toys, and clothing. The less stuff you have, the less mess the kiddos can make and the easier it is to keep clean. We took this to heart after a surprise surgery left things quite chaotic.

 

Start now to have a toy pickup before nap time and bed time. It can be as little as five minutes but start cultivating the habit now. It'll pay off big as they get older. Same thing with dirty clothes in the hamper. Start a habit now of no clothes or towels on the floor, and it'll be less of a problem later. Another thing to start now is to lay out clothing the night before. This will save oodles of time and stress over the years. It gives time for the little ones to choose their own clothes ( no matter how mismatched ) and your teens to choose their perfect outfits.

 

Best wishes as you find what works for you and yours.

 

Edited to take out some details.

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I don't even try.

 

 

It helps to segment the day. I have so much time dedicated to school, so much to housework, so much to outside stuff, so much to my personal projects.  (DO have time for your own personal enrichment!!!)  If it doesn't get done today in that allotted time, there is always tomorrow.  Evaluate needed changes every couple of months.  

 

 

My house is really messy. But, my toddler is talking very well, loves books and puzzles, knows how to color and cut & paste, etc...  My dyslexic gets top-notch tutoring daily (by me,  :hat: ), my 9yo crafts to her heart's desire after her schoolwork is done, and my 8yo has lego/k'nex/erector set central for a bedroom.

 

 

There are times when the house is all quiet, and I can choose between cleaning or doing something for my own fulfillment. I choose my own fulfillment more often than not b/c cleaning makes me feel like everything I do is undone and therefore worthless. I'd rather be in a good mood when the kids are back (and can help with the cleaning).

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Your kids are so little. Little enough that crisis management is the game and will be for some time. I hired out the deep cleaning once a month when mine were bitties. And we ate a lot of crock pot or frozen foods. And I don't do much in the way of planned schooling until 3rd grade, at least.

It gets easier. Mine are 11, 9, and 7 now. They are very independent, they help with so much of the upkeep of the house, and they help plan and cook meals.

 

Cut yourself some slack. Breathe. And breathe again. Know that if you have kept everyone alive during these early years, that can be a day's work all on it's own.

 

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From my perspective, there's a correlation here. ;) LOL. No, seriously, with littler kids, I was always wiped out, but it's easier now with 8, 8, and nearly 10.

 

When my three were little, I realized that if we were going to homeschool for the long haul, the children would have to help with the running of the home. There's only so much one mom can do, you know? So I started them with folding washcloths and matching socks. Really, that is how they started "doing chores" when they were toddlers. So cute. I can picture them still, folding the washcloths, matching the socks, putting away toys, singing the Barney Clean Up song, handing up the carrots and celery from the vegetable bin that I couldn't reach when I was pregnant with twins, getting pots and pans out from the cabinet so I could make soup, sweeping with those tiny red brooms.... sigh. They learned to love helping Mommy and Daddy. They learned to like doing real things. It's good to start them young, when they like it and think it's all fun, because (spoiler alert) that aspect doesn't eternally last, LOL. ;)

 

But now, we all do regular household chores every day. It's the only way that works for us to keep up with it all, but with everyone doing something, we get through what needs to be done and I don't feel like Martha the Maid. The time invested in training the kids has started to pay off with being able to turn over some things to them. The girls rotate their chores every three weeks, and the sets of chores are known around here by different bug names. :)

 

Ladybug  

take care of your rabbit daily (I change the bedding, but the girls do the rest)

sweep dining room/kitchen floors daily

sweep other rooms on rotation

fold & put away laundry daily (they put away all their own laundry & some household)

make your bed daily

room ready for "inspection" daily

breakfast--meal prep helper, empty dishwasher, table set & clear

all other tasks as assigned

 

Butterfly

take care of your rabbit daily

clean bathroom sinks & counters daily (butterfly bathroom & powder room alternate)

wipe tub rim after showers

switch out bathroom cups

trash round-up daily

stock toilet paper & tissues as needed

fold & put away laundry daily

make your bed daily

room ready for "inspection" daily

snack & lunch--snack prep & clean up, lunch prep helper, table set & clear

all other tasks as assigned

 

Bumblebee

take care of your rabbit daily

laundry round-up daily (with five people and two levels of stairs, this is actually a big job)

fold & put away laundry daily

make your bed daily

room ready for "inspection" daily

supper--meal prep helper, table set & clear

all other tasks as assigned

 

They also help with bringing in & stocking groceries, raking leaves & pulling weeds, shoveling snow, and anything else we direct them to do. If they are not independent with the task, then we only expect them to do it when we are willing to put in the effort to teach them and guide them. You have young children at this point, so you have a wonderful opportunity to bring them into the real work you do (at times) and allow them to learn to truly help you. Some day, when a load of laundry seems to fold itself or a bed seems to make itself (it happens!), you will thank yourself for this.

 

As for balancing out our lives, I try to just keep my finger on the pulse of what our family needs, when. It's not all about "doing school," and with children as young as yours, it shouldn't be. So when it's time to stop with one thing and do another, we pay attention to that. There are times when we would rather not be "doing school" just because it's more fun to goof off, but that's not the same as really needing to attend to other things to maintain the functioning of the home and the health of the family. If we're just in an I-don't-feel-like-doing-school-today mood, we push through that, we exercise our discipline and diligence! But if something besides school work truly needs attention, we pay attention to it, because it all kind of works together in a synergistic way. Most often, I find that what needs the most attention is the heart of my child -- that is, she needs me to take off my "teacher hat" and be her Mommy, perhaps put school aside for five minutes or the rest of that day. I encourage you to take whatever time your children need for nurture. Well-nurtured hearts learn faster and better, anyway. My two 8 year olds are snuggle-bugs and my big (almost) 10 year old needs plenty of loving. It's good to have them home so we can pour it in.

 

Honestly, after doing this a few years now, I think that (for us, at least) letting the other (non-school) areas of life go too long without attention is counterproductive. We just all function so much better when the house and its contents are (for us) reasonably organized, well-run, well-stocked, and clean. We like clean laundry, LOL. We need solid, healthy meals. We need exercise and rest and fellowship with others. We function best on a semi-structured (not scheduled) daily and weekly routine, with a few carefully selected outside activities that add some solid shape to our otherwise home-based week.

 

I think we maintain a much wider margin around our time than most people in this region seem to keep, but we need that margin in order to have enough family time, couple time, personal time, and rest. Other homeschoolers (and non-homeschoolers) we know seem to go in every direction, every day, every activity! Aaahh! I would be exhausted, if I kept up that routine. I don't know how some of those moms do all that running, but it would never work for me. I am tired thinking about it. We basically do all of our school work at home, with the exception of church midweek (which isn't school) and children's choir (which counts as [free!] music lessons). Add in church on Sunday and visits with grandparents and that's enough to keep going. We're happy with that. I'd rather do a few things well than a ton of things poorly, and I think that what we have committed to, we are doing well.

 

HTH.

 

Edited to add -- It helps enormously to get off these boards and go to bed on time. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Ditto. Couldn't "like" this post enough. Need a love button, really.  :001_tt1:

 

Chore training has been a life saver around here.  Yes, academics are a top priority for us, but all the support structure that allows us to focus on school is equally important.  I've definitely lowered my standards in the past few years, but I still function best in an orderly, peace-filled environment, as do my kids.  That's just how we are wired.  So last year, with four kids under 6 and a fifth on the way, I cancelled school for about 2 months and did nothing but chore-training.  

 

I continue to be amazed at how that transformed things for us.  Totally worth the "lost academic time" it required to train them.  Definitely don't underestimate what kids, even littles, can do to pitch in and keep things generally clean and orderly.  

 

Just a few favorite random tips of my own to add:

-When all else fails, lower your expectations.  :001_smile:  Doing it all is impossible even in the best circumstances. 

-Especially with littles like yours, don't prepare detailed, rigid plans (they are guaranteed to fail and leave you feeling like a failure, day after day, as you fall further and further behind what is largely an unnecessary and impossible goal); stick with flexible plans, then keep a journal throughout the day where you jot down what you DO accomplish, after the fact. Even the mundane stuff! (like nursing a sweet baby who will soon grow up, or doing an impromptu read-aloud, or actually cooking a sit-down meal).   Because that's where life happens: in the midst of a whole lot of mundane stuff that we often discount the value of or fail to give ourselves credit for.  You'll be encouraged by seeing how much you are actually succeeding in each day. 

-That said, do prepare and file your school-stuff over the summer (I have a 40-week file for the school year that we follow).  It will help you tremendously if things are printed/photocopied in advance, so that you can easily move to the next thing even when the baby has croup and you have mono and the schoolroom floods and the roof leaks. (Which, incidentally, describes our fall semester this year.)

-Kids' Laundry: don't fold.  don't fold. don't fold. So much time saved. Because, really, do their clothes stay folded anyway? (once my littles started dressing themselves, they certainly didn't!)  Just sort straight from the dryer into small transport baskets (one for each child, in a size manageable for them carry). Even Pre-Kers are big enough to then transport the basket up to their rooms, sort into the proper drawers (use picture labels on drawers to help train them) and return the empty basket back to the laundry room to be used again next time.  

-read the schole / teaching from rest threads here and on blogs elsewhere (here's a good place to start).  The whole concept of teaching from rest was new to me last year, but has really helped me renew my joy in teaching, despite the daily grind with highly teacher-dependent little ones.   

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I didn't read all the replies, but from the few i did see, there is a common theme that something "goes" for most people.  Clean house is mine because I hate to clean anyway!  My mom generously gifted us a visit from a professional cleaning service right before Christmas, and boy is it easier (right now) to keep things clean when they started out clean.  That one cleaning is going to get me a few months of mileage of  being able to just do a bit of cleaning and KEEP it cleaner.   Spending daily time reading the Bible, school, "training" with the younger kids (aka trying to teach my 5 year old not to just use force against his younger brother every time he is mad at him, and trying to teach the three year old to share and not destroy the house!), and cooking are priorities for me.  Sleep, cleaning, exercise, and most other hobbies aren't a priority for me at the moment! 

 

I also try and see it as a "long term" balance issue -- I might have a day where I really do need to spend a lot more time cleaning and doing laundry if we have guests coming so I do the bare minimum with the kids...then plenty of other days where I spend time reading with the kids, playing, etc and barely get dinner cooked and the worst of the clutter picked up before dinner.

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I have found that there are 3 main things that usually get done each day: cooking ( a decent dinner), teaching and cleaning. I only accomplished 2 of the 3 each day (that's where left-overs came in helpful).  Once I accepted this as being my 'normal', I felt our days were good!  It didn't matter which was accomplished, as long as all 3 were touched upon every few days (but schooling was always 5 days a week)!

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Hired outside help once a week for the heavy deep cleaning. This has been marriage healing and sanity saving; it was well worth the financial sacrifice for us at this time. I can handle messy, but not dirty, in my house.

 

Other:

DH works outside the home 6 hours daily, does dishes, takes out garbage, pays bills and grocery shops.

I homeschool, play with the kids, do daily cleaning/tidy ups besides dishes, do laundry, cook meals, and handle home organization.

Both of us help with kids in the evening hours, though I usually do more of the bedtime prep (DH unwinds on the computer then).

We are about to have a new baby 23 months younger than our second child though, so it is going to get pretty crazy around here for a couple years. I am thinking of hiring a teen to watch the 2 babies a couple hours each day so my oldest son's 1st grade year gets done.

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I'm another one that cannot work when the house is a mess. As previously mentioned mess is relative but my brain just doesn't function well with chaos and my kids find it horribly distracting as well. We are actually on break right now to get things back in order as I haven't felt well and wasn't able to keep up with everything/get caught up during our holiday break.  

 

You need to decide what level of clean you need:

 

What are your priorities? My husband has a thing about floors but cleared counters/surfaces bother me more.

 

What are the basics you want to get done? How often do they need done?

 

How can you add them into your schedule/routine?

 

Think of the things that bother you most and tackle that first, for me that is the dishes- my routine that I added was loading at night, unloading in the am, so I can put in dishes throughout the day. I was on the schedule of laundry put in the washer at night and then the dryer when I get up so I can fold them during the day (I fell out of this schedule- for reasons I cannot remember but need to add it back) Bathrooms can be given a quick clean when you are in there etc

 

Top Three:

1) Everybody helps- everyone is expected to pitch in here, my oldest daughter is actually on her way to taking over breakfast and lunch, my 2 bathrooms are split between the kids (although I do a deeper clean occasionally), they do their rooms on their own (I'll help once a season with decluttering/organizing and more often with my 5yo), they take turns taking care of the trash, vacuuming, dusting, folding laundry(everybody generally folds their own), etc. Start small, have them work with you and do it together, set clean-up times throughout the day- it is lunchtime and afternoon here, set the timer and get to work. *I have some jobs I'm not really ready to hand over full-time but most anything they can do at least somewhat, even if it is not optimal, depending on what is needed.

 

2) Make a routine or schedule, add in time for school, time for clean/cook, down time with lots of margins- you need a LOT with small kids, everything takes longer than you think until you get sorted out with your family routines

 

3)Organize and minimize, the less stuff you have the less you have to clean and take care of, period. Nearly all Americans have too much stuff and we have less and less time to take care of it and use it. Do this in bursts on breaks, tackle one problem area at a time.

 

It gets way easier, my older two are really able to help a lot and dd5 doesn't make near the messes she used to and even destructo-baby (2) has eased up a bit

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I thought some of you would enjoy this! :)

 

http://twiniversity.com/2014/12/need-a-starbucks-watch-this-hilarious-mom-parody-of-taylor-swifts-blank-space-twiniversity-funny-video/

 

(Didn't want to imbed a youtube.....just scroll down slightly and you should see the video. :))

 

I usually hate these parodies, but this one is so funny.

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When my children were toddlers, I wish I would have listened to those people who said, "It's a lie that you can really have a clean house and quiet, well-behaved children and a hot meal without taking cocaine and / or strapping the children to the potty. That never happened in the history of the world, EVER, especially not with only one adult at home. People who created that image had 'help'--i.e. maids, nannies, and in some cases, slaves. Worst case scenario, they lived in small communities where they could take an older girl from a neighbor and feed her for help, or they had a mother in law. More children died of neglect. Many difficult children were not taught to read at all. Stop trying to live up to that ideal. It doesn't exist."

 

But I am a perfectionist and a hard worker and was convinced that I could do it. I could live up to that ideal.

 

I never did and frankly, I don't know anyone who did. I do know a couple of one-kid moms who basically had about three hours of screen time per their ONE CHILD per day, who kept a clean house, and that one child was easy. Other than that, everyone seemed to "learn how to do it" when, surprise surprise, their youngest was at least four and the oldest was at least nine. In other words, you "get into your groove" when your children will let you have a groove that is not an orbit around their endless needs. I don't know anyone who got into their groove while they had all children under the age of seven and a toddler.

 

You just have to grow out of that phase as a family, either as some get older and can help, or they all get older and you no longer have a baby.

 

When I had a three and a one I thought I was going to need to start at least three different meds. I cried at least three times a week. (Having a terrible marriage didn't help but I know I wasn't alone.) It was awful. Worst year of my entire life.

 

You are really in the thick of it now. Hugs, hugs, hugs. Be gentle with yourself. Fifties TV sitcom standards have been known to drive people insane.

 

 

I choose my own fulfillment more often than not b/c cleaning makes me feel like everything I do is undone and therefore worthless.

 

That is a really great point. If you aren't cleaning with somebody as a joint project that you both see, or at least getting paid cash, cleaning up after small children is extremely demoralizing. It's a Sisyphean task.

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I don't do it all.

 

I never have.

 

Lower your expectations.

 

Meal planning--Have a 2 week rotation of meals and stick to that. Use lots of soups. you can prep in the morning and stick it in the crock pot to cook all day.

 

Audio books. We've read many good books that way in the car.

 

Baskets for baby toys in each room.

 

Ruthlessly declutter and invest in some good storage stuff (over door shoe pockets are priceless...barbies, webkinz, art supplies etc. can all fit perfectly in these bags.)

 

Get a dishes-laundry routine going and stick to it. I do these two things first thing in the morning, and it makes life manageable.

 

Ironically, paring down on most of my kid clothes helped. It kept me from getting backed up on laundry, and putting clothes away was much simpler. One pair of church shoes, one pair of tennis shoes with a pair of boots/sandals per child depending on the season made the shoe problem disappear. You can decide what a reasonable amount of clothing per child is, and get rid of the rest.

 

Have 2-3 days per week when you DO NOT leave the house if you can help it.

 

Close the doors to unneeded parts of the house during the day. When my kids were little it was nice to know that even if most of teh house was trashed, MY BEDROOM was spotless. There's no reason for the kids to have access to the whole house all day long, if all they are going to do is drag stuff around. So close the doors and keep them close to you. It also helps mom to step in before disagreements go bad, and to help you direct them in how to care for stuff. And it minimizes those surprises of a whole pack of saltines crumbled on the bedroom carpet.

 

These tips will help, but really, it isn't possible to have a perfectly clean home, perfectly educated children, perfect marriage, etc. when you have 4 children under the age of 10.

 

It will get better though.

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I don't do it all.

 

I never have.

 

Lower your expectations.

 

 

These tips will help, but really, it isn't possible to have a perfectly clean home, perfectly educated children, perfect marriage, etc. when you have 4 children under the age of 10.

 

It will get better though.

Perfect never! Good enough, most of the time :)

 

We are often harder on ourselves than others. I have a friend that always goes on about how clean my house is and how dirty hers is, they look the same to me, then she compares her home to friends who don't have kids at home and also had neat freak husbands who helped out considerably. Of course they can get more done (1) they have more time and help and (2) and it was a higher priority to them. I don't care to spend as much time cleaning as they do and I'm sure others say the same about me.

 

I've had seasons when I've been able to do more and do less but I found a way to prioritize and simplify so I could get the priorities done and of course when hugely pregnant, not feeling well, have a needy baby that list of priorities was smaller. My floor wasn't cleaned as much but I kept up with dishes (and made use of paper plates), laundry (with everyone folding and helping) and food (meals were more basic and repetitive and I used more convenience items- we lived). In those times also I counted on the kids more I did what I could and whatever job they could do was good enough. I think that can really hold back some neat freaks, they can do it all and well without kids but they can't figure out how to delegate and adjust their expectations with kids around. You have to realize that your kids aren't going to do it exactly as you, it is a season and they are learning, teaching them is just as important as the help it provides you. Sometimes you have got to ease up control, ask for help and lower standards, sometimes you've got to work on finding a system that works for you.

 

I also think that some things are easier for some people, organization is my strong suit and I enjoy it. We all have different strengths, you have to find a way to make your strengths work for you. I have friends that keep a cleaner house and friends that have dirtier houses, the only standards that matters are your own and your spouses, assuming you are meeting cleanliness standards (and even on our bad days 99% of us do). 

 

Of course all of it is constantly in flux as well as life with kids is never static, schedules change, needs change, abilities change, priorities change.

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When my children were toddlers, I wish I would have listened to those people who said, "It's a lie that you can really have a clean house and quiet, well-behaved children and a hot meal without taking cocaine and / or strapping the children to the potty. That never happened in the history of the world, EVER, especially not with only one adult at home. People who created that image had 'help'--i.e. maids, nannies, and in some cases, slaves. Worst case scenario, they lived in small communities where they could take an older girl from a neighbor and feed her for help, or they had a mother in law. More children died of neglect. Many difficult children were not taught to read at all. Stop trying to live up to that ideal. It doesn't exist."

My kids love the movie Mary Poppins. For a time, she was my ideal... Until I realized that there were FOUR women fulfilling the five roles I was trying to fill as my singleton self: wife, mother, cook, maid, volunteer.

 

But I still love Mary Poppins. :)

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I completely agree with the playing and reading! I cherish this time because there will be a day too soon when they don't want me to play with them. There aren't very much academics for my 5yr old. He is doing phonics because he really wanted to read and he is doing well. He does handwriting (forming his letters because he wanted to write) and we count together a lot during the day and in the car. But that is it. I just wanted to get a good routine going when the mega work hits because it can be hard just getting that in. Thanks again everyone!

 

 

I agree with the third point. 5 year olds need very little academics.

 

On the first and second points, it takes all kinds but that is not how I or most of the people with young kids I know want to live. I really like to take time to do the things that interest my kids, be that play with Legos with them or make a character for D&D. If we eat leftovers or the bathroom is a bit overdue for a scrub down, so be it. We have books we read aloud during the day and books we read aloud at night. Between me and my husband that is usually more than 2 hours a day. Maybe it's because my sons are 5.5 years apart and are at very different stages but I really value that playtime and reading time that I have with them. It is the most important time in my day and week. Or maybe it is generational- I think I am about your daughters' ages.

 

And I never make any beds. Like pretty much ever. We sleep just as well.

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I completely agree with the playing and reading! I cherish this time because there will be a day too soon when they don't want me to play with them. There aren't very much academics for my 5yr old. He is doing phonics because he really wanted to read and he is doing well. He does handwriting (forming his letters because he wanted to write) and we count together a lot during the day and in the car. But that is it. I just wanted to get a good routine going when the mega work hits because it can be hard just getting that in. Thanks again everyone!

 

 

 

I lost a post with some general answers to your OP rather than me commenting about playing with your kids.

 

I agree that routine is important. I can't claim that I am lackadaisical about maintaining my home or that I always meet my goals but I think that prioritizing the things that matter most and accepting the big picture is important here. I also think the wisest moms are the ones who realize that there may be a hundred and twelve things they could do to make "it" better but they make it better by NOT DOING those 112 things. ;)

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One thing I did was get rid of a very time consuming chore I don't enjoy... folding laundry.

 

It wasn't based on this but I landed on this basic system:

 

http://www.aninvitinghome.com/2013/09/laundry-for-family-of-seven-in-less.html?m=1

 

(My brother posted this link to FB because as a SAHD laundry is his arch nemesis!)

 

It takes basically no time for me to sort everything into each person's bin. With the exception of a few nice things for the boys, nothing they need to wear needs to be folded. They sort it into their own drawers and bins. I hang up adult clothes or just put away things like pj pants and tshirts. This leaves me with towels and sheets. So much faster.

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One thing I did was get rid of a very time consuming chore I don't enjoy... folding laundry.

 

It wasn't based on this but I landed on this basic system:

 

http://www.aninvitinghome.com/2013/09/laundry-for-family-of-seven-in-less.html?m=1

 

(My brother posted this link to FB because as a SAHD laundry is his arch nemesis!)

 

It takes basically no time for me to sort everything into each person's bin. With the exception of a few nice things for the boys, nothing they need to wear needs to be folded. They sort it into their own drawers and bins. I hang up adult clothes or just put away things like pj pants and tshirts. This leaves me with towels and sheets. So much faster.

 

Yup!  This is what we do (see my post above) and it works beautifully.  We don't have a chute, so we collect DH's clothes in one large basket (he does all his own laundry on Sundays, the one day I guarantee to him that the machines will be free). The rest of us share a second large basket, stored in our upstairs bathroom.  It fills about once every 5-6 days right now (we don't wash clothes unless they are actually dirty or have clearly been worn multiple times), at which point I carry it downstairs, sort it for laundering, and return it immediately upstairs again (so clothes don't start to pile on the floor).  When laundering is done and sorted (but not folded!) back into the kids' individual small "transport" baskets, they carry them up, they put them away, and they return the transport baskets back to the laundry room.  Everyone 3 and older is part of the process.  

 

I hardly think about laundry anymore, and only get "behind" under special circumstances, like illness. 

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One thing I did was get rid of a very time consuming chore I don't enjoy... folding laundry.

 

It wasn't based on this but I landed on this basic system:

 

http://www.aninvitinghome.com/2013/09/laundry-for-family-of-seven-in-less.html?m=1

 

(My brother posted this link to FB because as a SAHD laundry is his arch nemesis!)

 

It takes basically no time for me to sort everything into each person's bin. With the exception of a few nice things for the boys, nothing they need to wear needs to be folded. They sort it into their own drawers and bins. I hang up adult clothes or just put away things like pj pants and tshirts. This leaves me with towels and sheets. So much faster.

 

How do you keep the clothes from being super wrinkled?

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How do you keep the clothes from being super wrinkled?

What does a wrinkled t-shirt look like? My sons wear a lot of jeans and stuff like that. If something is rumpled coming out the drawer, it's not anymore so than it would be a few minutes after they put it on. Also, they don't have so many clothes that the drawers are jammed so the stuff sits fairly loosely (excepting my younger sons mass of pjs).

 

They each have a pair of slacks, and a couple of dress shirts and a nicer sweater or jacket hanging in the closet. That stuff doesn't just go in the drawer.

 

Same thing for my running pants and jeans -they aren't going to wear any differently than when I folded them.

 

It's such a time saver I can't imagine going back to spending hours of my life folding stuff. If it is folded, it is creased along the folds anyways, those creases come out once you put on most casual clothes.

 

Also, my sons clothes usually ended up unfolded in their drawers after a bit anyway.

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I don't think women in any situation can really do/be it all.

I am not parenting so many kids, let alone littles.

 

One thing, though, that helps here is that hubby does quite a lot. It's not all on me. Outside of that, we prioritize the most important things, and have routines that help.

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What does a wrinkled t-shirt look like? My sons wear a lot of jeans and stuff like that. If something is rumpled coming out the drawer, it's not anymore so than it would be a few minutes after they put it on. Also, they don't have so many clothes that the drawers are jammed so the stuff sits fairly loosely (excepting my younger sons mass of pjs).

 

They each have a pair of slacks, and a couple of dress shirts and a nicer sweater or jacket hanging in the closet. That stuff doesn't just go in the drawer.

 

Same thing for my running pants and jeans -they aren't going to wear any differently than when I folded them.

 

It's such a time saver I can't imagine going back to spending hours of my life folding stuff. If it is folded, it is creased along the folds anyways, those creases come out once you put most casual clothes.

 

Also, my sons clothes usually ended up unfolded in their drawers after a bit anyway.

 

Well, it looks like a really wrinkled t-shirt.  I am not sure what you are asking.  As someone that would like to iron and hang every article of clothing (I don't, I save time by only folding), I would definitely say that clothes still look really wrinkled even after wearing them for a bit.  Very interesting,  I didn't know that not folding clothes existed.   Learned something new!

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Well, it looks like a really wrinkled t-shirt. I am not sure what you are asking. As someone that would like to iron and hang every article of clothing (I don't, I save time by only folding), I would definitely say that clothes still look really wrinkled even after wearing them for a bit. Very interesting, I didn't know that not folding clothes existed. Learned something new!

I used to iron my sheets. I get it. But there are only so many hours in the day and I am juggling educating two kids, caring for two kids one of whom has special needs which are time consuming, running a home, working very PT, watching my niece and nephew a lot and studying a bit myself. I like sleep. Folding clothes that don't hold many wrinkles isn't on the to do list.

 

And this is pretty much what my sons' shirts and pants look like on them after a few minutes regardless of if they are folded, ironed or neither:

 

http://assets.coolhunting.com/coolhunting/mt_asset_cache/2010/05/ThreadlessKids9.jpg

 

(Not my kid, just a generic tshirt and jeans look they might wear on any given Tuesday).

 

Barring mud or mayhem. But that happens regardless as well. :)

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Shifting from a reactive mindset to a proactive mind set helped me. So did viewing myself as a professional manager. This is what I "do." I basically run and teach at a boarding/church/finishing school for my own children and I mother them. IĂ¢â‚¬â„¢m also a wife. I take myself seriously and I want to be as good as I can be at it.

 

School

That means I need to have long term, mid-term and short term academic goals. When it comes to school, I want them prepared for lots of different options that adulthood provides. That means I need to have some sort of systematic, thorough approach to academics so they can handle college, trade school, starting their own business, joining the military, getting married, whatever. It means doing some homework up front (or if you got into homeschooling suddenly, as soon as you can) and figuring out a cohesive approach to things and having an idea of what the more quality materials and content options are. No groping around in the dark, randomly selecting things and crossing my fingers, hoping they work out. That works for some people. I'm not one of those people.

 

I started keeping the long term schedule (written in pencil of course) on hand and look at it every semester. I started by making a very large chart with every subject going across the rows and every year (with child's age) we have homeschooled and will homeschool going down the first column. I filled in what we used each year for each subject. I filled out what I think I will be doing for 12th grade. Then I started filling in what I think I want to use for each year in each subject. Has it changed? Yes. Has it changed dramatically? Not yet. I wouldn't recommend doing that if your kids are preschoolers or you got into homeschooling suddenly and recently. This is a task done when you're getting school done consistently for 6 months or a year.

 

Academically it was fine doing the next thing when I had 2 kids fairly close together in most things and a wee one who wasn't schooling. Then I was homeschooling 3. The older two were farther apart in some subjects and one just at the beginning. Do the next thing created stress. So, it was time to learn the 36 week file folder system and I planned and prepped the whole year out before the first day of school. I just needed to pick up library books every 3 weeks according to the weekly lists I had completed for the whole year before school began. I was a big job that took weeks of my summer, but it paid off many times over because when I was done with school for the day, I was done thinking about school at all for the day. I didn't have to plan on weekends for the week either. It was completely done.

 

Learning Independence

Teaching children independent academic skills is important. So is doing it one step at a time.

1. Mom demonstrates the new skill.

 

2. The child reads aloud the directions to mom.

3. The child paraphrases and explains the directions to mom.

4. The child looks at any examples given and explains them to mom.

5. When a child is stuck and needs help, (s)he can complete everything else (s)heĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s capable of doing before asking for help if mom is busy with another child.

If a child canĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t do any given step, its moms job to do what it takes so the child can do the step before moving on.

 

Then thereĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s the matter of space.

1. The child can complete an assignment in the same room as mom, in a reasonable amount of time without being brought back on task more than a time or two.

2. A child can complete 2-3 assignments in the same room as mom, in a reasonable amount of time without being brought back on task more than a time or two.

3. A child can complete multiple assignments in a room nearby mom (so she can keep an eye out) in a reasonable amount of time without being brought back on task more than a time or two now and then.

4. A child can complete multiple assignments in a room where mom canĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t see in a reasonable amount of time without being brought back on task.

 

Our kids had to do school during school hours until the weekĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s assignments were done. The 36 week file folder system had all the assignments for each of the 36 weeks of school in them. The deadline was 3pm on Friday. If not, they did nothing else until it was done. If they wanted to watch a midnight movie premier (at 12pm when Thursday turns to Friday) that was fine. They had to finish school by Thursday evening.

 

Cleaning

Planning the chore charts saved sooo much time and energy in the long run. I think we forget how much time and energy planning/deciding/figuring things out takes. So does dealing with, "But it's not my turn to do ____________. It's sister's turn." Sister of course, doesn't agree. Sigh. Why do it over and over again if you don't have to? I figured it out chore chart for our stage of life and reused it. Back before I had kids at cc like I do now, I had all the household chores listed out and divided into as many sub chore lists as I had people ages 6 and up. (Whether or not mom and dad have a posted list is up to mom and dad.) Kids 3-5 are helping mom and being taught how to do each task correctly so they can do chores on their own at 6.

 

I made a bit of an effort to make those groupings of chores somewhat equitable without getting too bogged down in whether or not leaning a bathroom was more or less demanding than cleaning the minivan. When the olders were younger, they each had about half the tasks included in "cleaning a bathroom" assigned to each of them. Sometimes that works out better. Now theyĂ¢â‚¬â„¢re each responsible for an entire bathroom. At that time, I had a printed list of each task I expected them to do to cleaning the bathroom. (Scrub toilet inside and out, squeegee the mirror, scrub the counter tops, scrub the bathtub and shower, vacuum the floor, mop the floor, etc.) It was in a plastic cover and I gave them a wet erase marker to mark it off as they completed each task. Then had no excuse for not knowing exactly what I was looking for to see if it was done. Then I reused that list, rotating each kid through to the next sub chore list each month. Everyone needs to know how to do everything. It was written down and posted on the calendar on the fridge. Not only did I have it done for the month, I could easily rotate them and write out chores for each kid, rotating them through each sublist for the whole year the day I got my new calendar.

 

I finally got smart enough to plan out a way to get weekly chores done by Friday. I wanted my weekends to be as relaxed as possible with the option of entertaining company. I wanted weekly chores done regularly so they didn't pile up. Each sub list had daily chores (unloading the dishwasher, cleaning the litter box, taking out the kitchen trash, etc.) and it had weekly or bi-weekly chores (cleaning a bathroom, vacuuming floors, mopping floors, etc.) I looked at our calendar at the regular activities I had scheduled for each day, and assigned those weekly and bi-weekly chores to the day(s) M-F that made the most sense. I wrote the chores down right next to the days of the week until all the weekly and biweekly chores were scheduled. Now weekend chores were just the usual daily ones with an occasional seasonal one like trimming the bushes and trees and such. Were there weeks it didn't all get done? Absolutely. But almost all of it was getting done almost all of the time. If one week we didn't get the floors cleaned, we just did it on the weekend or we skipped it and got back to it the next week.

 

When I had younger kids, I did one laundry day a week. Every single thing in the house that needed laundering got laundered on that day. I didnĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t do any other weekly chores that day. Meals were no fuss: Cereal and milk, yogurt, fruit type things the kids could get themselves for breakfast. (I never cook breakfast. Ever.) Sandwiches and chips on paper towels for lunch. Everyone 5+ can make their own sandwiches. Dinner went into the crock pot as soon as lunch was cleaned up. BBQ sauce on pork or chicken with hamburger buns to put it on. Done and done. The night before I made coleslaw to go with the BBQ sandwiches.

 

I had everyone bring every bit of laundry down to the laundry room and sort it after breakfast (if itĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s not already sorted in multiple hampers.) I started the first load, we did morning Bible reading and memorization. When that was done I moved the kids to the next subject and threw the first clean load, which was now finished, into the dryer and started the second load. Then it was back to school with the kids. The second that buzzer went off every single person dropped what they were doing and put their dry laundry away. I donĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t iron. If it needs ironing I donĂ¢â‚¬â„¢t buy it. Then I moved the next load along and started another and went back to schooling. We hang things. We teach our 3 year olds to put things on hangers. We have pictures on drawers for prereaders for undies and socks. We hang our shoes on shoe racks. When theyĂ¢â‚¬â„¢re about mid elementary aged (9ish here) they do their own laundry-by the time theyĂ¢â‚¬â„¢re teens at the latest.

 

TIP: When it comes to dishes and laundry, use the fastest cycle that gets the job done well. You can get so much more done in a day that way.

 

 

Meals

When I started meal planning, I did it for one week. I made a grocery list to go with it. I saved a copy of each so I could reuse them later. Then I continued to work on a weekĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s worth at a time with the grocery list until I had 4-6 weeksĂ¢â‚¬â„¢ worth of different recipes. Before I go shopping I take a copy of the grocery list and go through my fridge and pantry marking off what I already have on hand.I got the meal planning completely under control recently by getting better organized. It took more than a year.

 

1. I gathered all "tried and true" recipes into one 3 ring binder (or whatever works for you.) Tried and true means the majority of people who eat in the household like it. I cut out the pages or photocopied them or print them out. I put mine in plastic page covers so they don't get messier as I use them while cooking. (I'm a messy cook but I clean up after myself when I'm done.)

 

I have another folder for recipes I'd like to try.

2. I didn't have enough tried and true recipes so I spent 4 evenings at the local Barnes and Noble after dinner, by myself, reading through recipe books for several hours each night. I was ruthlessly honest about what I thought we would really want to eat and what I would really be willing to cook. I left my husband with the kids several of those nights and with my mother another night. I found 3 new books that looked promising. They were.

 

I also started watching America's Test Kitchen and after a year of watching and copying by hand easier recipes, I joined for a free trial period of 2 weeks (during our 2 week Fall Break and put the cancellation date on the calendar to cancel in time to not be billed) and printed out lots of recipes. Then I cancelled.

3. I put everything I wanted to try in my "like to try" binder. If the family likes it, I put it in the "tried and true" binder.

4. I organize/color code by main ingredient. I scanned and printed each tried and true recipe on a color of paper coded for main ingredient. Why? Because if you drop a 3 ring binder or recipe box on a tile floor the rings will open and the recipes will fly out all over in a jumbled mess. BTDT several times. It's easier to put things back together in the right category when each category has it's own color. When it's time to put a recipe back it's easier to do by color than looking for a labeled tab. Also, when I'm using something up (leftover meat) I know exactly which section all the recipes that use it are in.

 

Orange- breads, muffins, pancakes, waffles, etc. Deep blue-beans, lentils; bright green-salads, vegetable based dishes; light pink-beef; light blue-pork; bright yellow-chicken, turkey; light green-lamb; deep pink-desserts, sweets; off white-pasta, barley.

If a recipe can fit into more than one category, I don't choose. I scan it in each color and put them in each category. This is about convenience when I'm up to my eyeballs planning things out for the next month, so spending then extra minute to scan and print it again is well worth avoiding having to remember where it could be. It also shows me at a glance if I have more recipes in one category (which you might like to do if you get a great deal on a main ingredient and buy more of it than usual ) or you can see at a glance if you have a wide variety of things (which some people prefer.) You don't have to read each recipe to know, you can look at the color of the page it's printed on. When planning for a month at a time, this can be helpful.

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How do you keep the clothes from being super wrinkled?

 

As with LucyStoner, I don't notice any wrinkling issues with most of my children's clothing.  The exceptions do exist, but they are very rareĂ¢â‚¬Â¦ I can think of one white dress shirt in my son's closet that hangs because it requires ironing after a wash. But that's the only item in the whole lot, and he rarely wears it because his other white dress shirt doesn't wrinkle.  Even my girls' dresses (of which they have many, as all 3 of my daughters are very "girly" and dislike jeans) spend most of their time crammed in a drawer, unfolded, and no worse for the wear.

 

I do fold or hang my own clothing, but this is largely because I prefer my drawers and closet to be tidy. Most fabrics these days (especially for kids or casual wear for men) are very user-friendly and wrinkle free. My Dh does his own laundry, never irons, and never folds either. 

 

Suits would be an exception, but I've yet to meet a home-educating parent who wears those very often, if at all. :001_smile:    

 

ETA: I would add that I'm not opposed to my children learning to fold, just that I don't do it for them.  And since it's a low priority right now with so many littles, I've decided I'm not intentionally training them to fold at the moment.  Even so, dd4 is fascinated by how I fold my own clothes, so she often "folds" her own and is quickly improving without an ounce of input from me.  Perhaps the others will follow? fingers-crossed?  :001_rolleyes:

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Guest gotchugirl01

It's an endless cycle. If I can get my ADHD son to finish his schoolwork then I do a little dance. House can wait but my boys education is a priority! Best thing we did was get a trampoline to use between subjects.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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I am a huge fan of moms of littles getting help from a cleaning lady. This helps with the sanity part. Everyone spends a bit of time tidying up and then someone else comes and cleans. that way school and laundry and cooking can get done. This is how I did it when mine were smaller, and recently I called them in for a one-time cleaning because I was completely overwhelmed. It helped to tip the scales in my favor, and I was able to get ahead of the stuff that was stressing me out. 

 

That's my solution...

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Seems the number one answer, and I'll climb aboard ship, is it doesn't all get done. Here's how I get the most done (BTW this is a male perspective as I am the home parent):

 

1) I make daily assignment sheets and hand them out first thing in the morning. I don't care if the work gets done by noon or if the kids are up till 2 AM, that's the days work, get it done. Clean rooms (OK, non-biohazard rooms) and chores are understood to be included.

 

2) The kids are responsible for their own study. My first question has always been (we started home schooling in third grade), "Show me where you looked to find the answer."

 

3) I don't grade everything.  I spot check. Conversations over material supposedly studied tells me if they know it or not in general.  The spot checking picks up the slack. 

 

4) I make one sit down meal in the late afternoon. Since my kids are older, their evenings and nights are horrendous! Other meals...they are on their own. I taught them how to cook basics (grilled cheese, hot ham and swiss, pancakes, eggs, bacon, oatmeal).  Even when younger we had one "decent" meal with me making PBJs, cereal, coldcuts, and the like filling in the gaps. The slow cooker is my friend and quick casaroles round it all out. 

 

5) My calendar is the next best thing to a decree from heaven. If I didn't write it down, it didn't happen or I was never told. Either make sure I have written it down or keep track of it yourself! Honestly, conversations around here often begin with, "Dad, I need you to get your book out!"

 

6) Other than school, the squeeky wheel gets oiled. Some days that is marathon laundry, others it is the mail that wasn't squeeking loud enough over the past two weeks. 

 

7) I do not repeat myself. 

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I have throw rugs at the entrances! They're only so helpful. They're not helpful for big clunky boots that need a chair so the wearer can take them off, when there is nowhere for the chair to go next to the door, so the wearer has to walk across the floor to get to a chair, this dropping bits of dirt off of the boots. Trust me on this one; other people may have a solution for this one, but in my house, there really isn't. So I vacuum a lot.

 

Ok, as someone who has big, clunky boot wearers, I don't think they really need a chair to take them off, but if they do, put it OUTSIDE.  Don't let them walk across your room with those nasty boots.  They can sit down outside, loosen the boots to the point of almost falling off, then kick them the rest of the way off just inside the doors.

 

Death threats help.

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I'll preface this by saying I really don't get it all done, and I'm not sure I am entirely sane either! :tongue_smilie:

 

I really think it does get easier when your kids are older. Both dh and I work outside the home (I work p/t). I do the majority of the homeschooling with the kids, though as they get older, they are doing more on their own, especially my ds13. I require more of them in terms of helping out with housework and cooking as they get older, especially because I fully believe that basic life skills -- cooking a decent meal, being able to clean a house, sew a button on, etc. -- are an important part of learning.

 

Our house doesn't always look great. With generally 3-4 people home during the day (dh works a lot of later nights), it can't look perfect. I do use time that the kids are working independently now to do a load of dishes, or tidy something up. Ds13 doesn't mind sweeping, and dd11 is fine with vacuuming. They can both do their own laundry at this point. I tend to do a lot of cooking ahead, and use leftovers in creative ways (roast chicken + lots of veggies on night one; chicken quesadillas and salad on another night; chicken soup a third night), and like Farrar, I use some shortcuts when needed (canned beans, salad mixes, etc.). Dh sometimes cooks, and he helps out with housework and yardwork as well.

 

It is a balancing act. I don't always get it all done, but it sure feels great when I have a homemade, balanced meal on the table, after lessons got done, and the house isn't trashed!

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