Did You Let Your Child Decide Whether to To Homeschool High School?

[Reefgazer]

I would very much like to homeschool high school for my children; I think they will get a better and more personalized education than they will get in the private schools around here.  DD is on the fence about homeschooling high school.  She said she would like to homeschool high school, but misses seeing her friends on an everyday basis.  I'm not sure I can really rectify that with homeschool; she has an active social life, but not every day of the week, which we just don't have time for.  Co-ops around here tend to cater to the middle school and younger set and are working for us now, but high-schoolers tend to go to another co-op that requires we sign a faith statement and abide by their dress rules (which is distasteful to me, but I guess I could hold my nose and suck it up).   

 

I personally think that kids at the high school level should have a major say in where they go to school, so I want her to make her own choice for high school, within certain limitations (For example, I have already told here that she can't attend the public school, so she will be limited to the local private schools or homeschool).  Did you allow your child to completely make the decision about high school, or did you unilaterally make the decision?  If you let your child decide, did you push homeschool heavily, or add incentives in any way in order to encourage the child to choose homeschool over private school or public school?

[regentrude]

I let my children decide whether they wanted to attend public school for high school or whether they wanted to be homeschooled.

I explained that it would be difficult to change their minds past 9th grade.

They both opted to remain at home. I can not imagine homeschooling a teen against her will to be in any way productive.

 

I am not sure I understand your DD's situation: is she currently in school and those friends are her class mates? Or is she homeschooled and they are homeschooled too? If the latter, how would attending school make it possible for her to spend more time with them?

 

My homeschooled DS sees friends 6 days a week. During her last years of homeschooled high school, my DD saw her friends pretty much daily as well.

[Luckymama]

It was absolutely dd's choice to homeschool high school. (She began in fifth grade.)

 

We don't do co-ops. They do not fit with dd's academic needs nor with her interests. She sees her friends (who attend private, public, and charter high schools and who homeschool) at ballet five or six days a week.

[chiguirre]

Actually, I told Geezle he'd have to attend public high school for the job training they provide. In the end, he started last year. School's not perfect but they have a lot more infrastructure and experience to help him get ready for adulthood and access the services he'll need to be more independent.

 

Trinqueta has (or rather had) the choice to try public school. Now that we've started doing higher level classes (Algebra, Jenney's Latin, high school Spanish and Lightning Lit 8) that ship has sailed. There'd be no point in having to back up so much to enroll in public school. She could continue on at home using online classes until she's ready for dual enrollment locally.  She is involved in a lot of extracurriculars where she can spend time with friends almost daily.

[swimmermom3]

My youngest son was homeschooled from 4th to 8th grade. He chose to attend our local high school for 9th. At the semester, he chose to return to homeschooling. He liked being at school, but felt that the English and history classes were nowhere near as good as what we did at home. For the second semester he did those classes at home and continued with the rest at school.

 

Thankfully, with the help of this board, we had a Plan B in place when he did come home.  He continues to take a class or two at the high school and for now for his junior year we are outsourcing more.  For tenth grade I found that I was spending almost the same amount of time preparing his classwork as I did for graduate school. It doesn't have to be that way unless you are like my and a very hands-on teacher.

 

Ds just had shoulder surgery and does not get out to see friends because most of his friends are from sailing and swimming, neither of which he can do right now. I worry about the isolation and this is part of why I think it is important that the student own their decision with regards to where they do high school.

 

 

[StillStanding]

I let my children decide whether they wanted to attend public school for high school or whether they wanted to be homeschooled.

I explained that it would be difficult to change their minds past 9th grade.

They both opted to remain at home. I can not imagine homeschooling a teen against her will to be in any way productive.

 

I am not sure I understand your DD's situation: is she currently in school and those friends are her class mates? Or is she homeschooled and they are homeschooled too? If the latter, how would attending school make it possible for her to spend more time with them?

 

My homeschooled DS sees friends 6 days a week. During her last years of homeschooled high school, my DD saw her friends pretty much daily as well.

 

Ditto.

I don't think it would be very easy to homeschool a teen against his/her will either. Co-operation and willingness on the student's part are a must. My oldest decided to stay home (she is graduating this year), my middle one will start H.S next year and she has chosen to stay at home as well. My now 6th grade son has been begging me to go to public school for the last two years. It is not an option for my middle schooler but we will revisit the topic in a couple of years.

 

Regentrude is right, once you start homeschooling H.S you should be committed to finish it. Here in TN public schools require homeschooled students trying to enter the public school system to take subject exams before they accept any credits given by mom (we have friends who had to do this--quite stressful for the child). Check your state policy.

 

Private schools are usually more friendly to homeschoolers.

 

[elegantlion]

Ds decided, but it was about a two second decision based upon perks. Neither of us are morning people and getting up early would have been a struggle. It's a perk not a reason, was good enough for me. ;)

[Reefgazer]

DD went to public school through 5th grade and she remains friends with people she met there, but they only see each other through the summer at the local pool club.  No one her age in the neighborhood homeschools; they are all in public or private school.  She sees her homeschool friends at co-op (it's the only reason we do co-op), but that is not often enough for her because co-op is only once per week for 15 weeks each in fall and spring.  She seems to need her "herd" around her more often. 

I let my children decide whether they wanted to attend public school for high school or whether they wanted to be homeschooled.

I explained that it would be difficult to change their minds past 9th grade.

They both opted to remain at home. I can not imagine homeschooling a teen against her will to be in any way productive.

 

I am not sure I understand your DD's situation: is she currently in school and those friends are her class mates? Or is she homeschooled and they are homeschooled too? If the latter, how would attending school make it possible for her to spend more time with them?

 

My homeschooled DS sees friends 6 days a week. During her last years of homeschooled high school, my DD saw her friends pretty much daily as well.

 

[Julie in MN]

I can not imagine homeschooling a teen against her will to be in any way productive.

 

 

It can definitely be unproductive to homeschool a teen who wants to join the throngs in a group school, but it can also be unproductive to send a kid to school because he wants to hang out with friends (especially in a city like ours, where a majority of friends are likely doing very unproductive things, since the ones who are productive don't have time to hang out with friends).

 

I look at it as parenting all the way up to adulthood.  I discuss, I listen, I consider, but I decide whether to homeschool. 

 

Neither of my homeschooled high schoolers wanted to homeschool, and it was tough sometimes.  But I've had kids in public school and that's tough sometimes, as well, educationally and socially.  My middle dd (previously an A/B student) completely failed 9th grade public school, then she mostly failed summer school, but still she wanted to return.  I'm sure many would agree with me that it wasn't a good idea to do what she wanted to do.  I am glad I had those last few years to choose what she would focus on.

 

My youngest was homeschooled for different reasons but still I feel I made the best parenting decision I could for him.  This isn't new -- parents have long chosen where their children will be educated, especially in areas where it is common to choose Catholic schools or boarding schools.  Homeschooling kids who would rather be in public school wasn't always fun, but there were many benefits, and having had kids in public school makes me aware that there may be issues in all cases.

 

Just wanted to add another point of view,

Julie

[dirty ethel rackham]

I took my kids wishes into account as we made a decision together.  My older two wanted no part of high school.  We did a combination of home grown classes (many with a couple other families like History and Literature), online classes and college classes.  Neither of my older two wanted large groups of friends.  They were more comfortable with a smaller group.  Dd really wanted to try high school.  She has a much higher need for socializing.  She has a nice group of homeschooled friends, but we weren't on the same page academically anymore.  She learns better in group settings and with outside deadlines.  So, she is going to high school part-time.  She is seeing the drawbacks of high school, but she is also the type of kid that can get the most out of the good aspects.  She may take more an more classes at the high school, but we are already committed to me issuing the diploma/final transcript and treating them as just another outside vendor of class content. 

[Reefgazer]

DD is involved with extracurriculars, but not to the point where we see those kids every day.  The sports she is involved with during the school year (basketball and soccer) have friends that tend to be very "seasonal" friends and they don't hang out together outside of their sport.  The exception are the summer swim and dive teams, but only because those kids also all go to school together.  There is no way that I could swing enough extracurriculars during the school year to keep my social butterfly happy; the schedule would kill me, because I have a DS who also needs attention, and I also work part time.

Actually, I told Geezle he'd have to attend public high school for the job training they provide. In the end, he started last year. School's not perfect but they have a lot more infrastructure and experience to help him get ready for adulthood and access the services he'll need to be more independent.

 

Trinqueta has (or rather had) the choice to try public school. Now that we've started doing higher level classes (Algebra, Jenney's Latin, high school Spanish and Lightning Lit 8) that ship has sailed. There'd be no point in having to back up so much to enroll in public school. She could continue on at home using online classes until she's ready for dual enrollment locally.  She is involved in a lot of extracurriculars where she can spend time with friends almost daily.

 

[Laura Corin]

Yes.  Calvin said that he wanted to go to school and we respected that.  Hobbes is of the same opinion.

[Reefgazer]

I tend toward letting the kids have a big hand in making decisions at that age, but within certain limits.  Our local public schools are a nightmare and that option is off the table.  I told her she could return to school, but only to one of the local private schools.  So I did set some limits on her decision.  I just want her to opt for homeschool and I am trying to sweeten the pot by pointing out the benefits for her.  :sneaky2:   I told her we couldn't even consider getting her a horse (she's been begging for one) in B+M school because she wouldn't be able to attend to it with the schedule she would have, but I'm trying to stop short of outright bribing her.  We have to decide by this time next year, because applications are due for all the schools around here by then.

It can definitely be unproductive to homeschool a teen who wants to join the throngs in a group school, but it can also be unproductive to send a kid to school because he wants to hang out with friends (especially in a city like ours, where a majority of friends are likely doing very unproductive things, since the ones who are productive don't have time to hang out with friends).

 

I look at it as parenting all the way up to adulthood.  I discuss, I listen, I consider, but I decide whether to homeschool. 

 

Neither of my homeschooled high schoolers wanted to homeschool, and it was tough sometimes.  But I've had kids in public school and that's tough sometimes, as well, educationally and socially.  My middle dd (previously an A/B student) completely failed 9th grade public school, then she mostly failed summer school, but still she wanted to return.  I'm sure many would agree with me that it wasn't a good idea to do what she wanted to do.  I am glad I had those last few years to choose what she would focus on.

 

My youngest was homeschooled for different reasons but still I feel I made the best parenting decision I could for him.  This isn't new -- parents have long chosen where their children will be educated, especially in areas where it is common to choose Catholic schools or boarding schools.  Homeschooling kids who would rather be in public school wasn't always fun, but there were many benefits, and having had kids in public school makes me aware that there may be issues in all cases.

 

Just wanted to add another point of view,

Julie

 

[TranquilMind]

I would very much like to homeschool high school for my children; I think they will get a better and more personalized education than they will get in the private schools around here.  DD is on the fence about homeschooling high school.  She said she would like to homeschool high school, but misses seeing her friends on an everyday basis.  I'm not sure I can really rectify that with homeschool; she has an active social life, but not every day of the week, which we just don't have time for.  Co-ops around here tend to cater to the middle school and younger set and are working for us now, but high-schoolers tend to go to another co-op that requires we sign a faith statement and abide by their dress rules (which is distasteful to me, but I guess I could hold my nose and suck it up).   

 

I personally think that kids at the high school level should have a major say in where they go to school, so I want her to make her own choice for high school, within certain limitations (For example, I have already told here that she can't attend the public school, so she will be limited to the local private schools or homeschool).  Did you allow your child to completely make the decision about high school, or did you unilaterally make the decision?  If you let your child decide, did you push homeschool heavily, or add incentives in any way in order to encourage the child to choose homeschool over private school or public school?

We did, early on, because we raised a very headstrong young person (which, I understand, will be great LATER, and I was one as well), and got bullied into it, more or less, to be honest.  Also, spouse and I were in disagreement, and I decided to capitulate on that one.

 

It was a mistake. 

 

We rectified that mistake, but not before some pretty significant damage had occurred.  (Nothing to do with grades, which were always good). 

 

So.....if I could do it again, I would do something else, and we did with subsequent children. 

[clementine]

We let our kids make the decision.  We have homeschooled from the beginning, so we had our oldest shadow at 3 different high schools to see what was offered.  We did let her know that if she chose to homeschool in 9th grade, she had to follow it through to graduation.  We honestly thought she would choose to go to school, but she took about 2 months to think it over, lay out her schedule, take into consideration her sport, and see how it would all fit together.  We do use co-op classes in addition to classes at home. Our second child had no interest in anything other than homeschooling.  

[Sunshine State Sue]

I would say that we negotiated high school. 

 

Full-time public school was not really an option.  Ds had no desire for full-time private school.  I had no desire/time/abillity for full-time homeschool.  I work 30hrs/wk from home.

 

So a compromise took place.  CC is free to hs'ers in 10th-12th grade.  Ds agreed to start there in 10th grade.

 

In 9th grade, I taught math and english and the remainder was outsourced to private online providers.

In 10th grade, ds took 2 classes at CC in the fall and 3 classes at CC in the spring along with 2 classes at public school.  The rest was outsourced to private online providers.

In 11th grade, ds took 4 classes at CC along with 2 classes at public school.

In 12th grade, ds took 4 classes at CC along with 1 class at public school in the fall.

 

Academically, it was the best decision for us.  Socially, I'm not so sure.  I suspect private school would have been better.  Not that ds complained.  He was fairly introverted after puberty hit.

[hornblower]

I laid out the options  & explained to my kids what I thought was better & why; they always wanted to be home & so did I so it all worked out :)  I have very introverted nerdy kids so the whole social aspect is moot but honestly, I don't know that I'd let that be a deciding factor anyway.

We are lucky here as it is not difficult to change your mind. You can float in & out of the system, or do a combination of totally hands off homeschooling & enrolling in a course here & there. Dd did try a few online classes around Gr. 11/12 and discovered she does not like online instruction & withdrew (which does not get recorded anywhere). She went to college with a completely blank ministry report.  Ds might be interested in a couple classes in a brick & mortar school so we'll see.

[Pawz4me]

Yes, we did.

 

I can't imagine not letting a high school aged kid decide.

 

Oldest DS was absolutely certain he wanted to go to our local public school for high school.  We did slightly nudge youngest into applying at the early college high school (for various reasons, but mostly because we felt he needed more social interaction).  Be we totally left the final decision to him.

 

We let our boys decide whether or not they wanted to begin homeschooling.  That was when oldest was going into fifth grade and youngest was going into second.  So for high school?  Yeah.

[Melissa B]

No, going to public/private high school is simply not an option we offer to our children.

 

They can make many choices about their high school education. They can choose to dual enroll at the local university, the local community college, or both. They can choose to take some or all of their courses through our state virtual school. They can choose to take electives classes, join sports teams or participate in extra-curricular activities at the local high school and they can sit with me and make decisions about what classes they would like to take and what materials they would like to use. However, attending school is not on the table. That being said, none of my children have ever expressed any real interest in attending high school full time and so perhaps, that colors my view.

[chiguirre]

  There is no way that I could swing enough extracurriculars during the school year to keep my social butterfly happy; the schedule would kill me, because I have a DS who also needs attention, and I also work part time.

T does theater with a local group, so that means class  2 hours one night a week about 10 minutes away and 4 hours on Friday night and 5 hours on Saturday during shows. Needless to say, I drop off and pick up. It's not a huge time suck for me but it gives T lots and lots of time with friends. She also does group classes that are drop off for 5 hours every Friday morning. While she's at tennis, I do errands. It just sort of became part of our schedule. The only major time sink I've got this year is being choir mom for the church choir. There were new rules and they literally need someone with Virtus training and a current background check to sit there and sign kids in and out. It's lame but I bring a book and a seltzer. I used to go to Starbucks, now I sit outside the choir room door. At least no one's around and I can have me time even while I'm volunteering. The sound track isn't as soothing, though.

[Michelle_NC]

Yes - DD was in traditional school for 9th and 10th and then decided to homeschool for 11th and 12th so she would have time to pursue her interests.  I would have been happy for her to stay at her old school (and was a little disappointed when she decided to leave).

[Penguin]

Yes.

 

Because we do have other possibilities, I have no interest in homeschooling a child without the child's buy-in. The other possibilities involve major family upheaval (like splitting the family ), so it was a hefty decision.

 

If he didn't want to homeschool for high school, choosing the alternative would have to be a family decision because of its impact on the rest of us. Luckily, homeschooling is what he wants to do and we were not faced with that. At least not yet...I am holding the door open as long as possible. Just because.

 

edited

[Karen in CO]

My kids homeschool by choice. I wouldn't do it without their consent.

My ds was in ps until 7th grade when I took him out because he felt hopeless. He returned to ps for 9th grade. He came home again for 10th grade and then took several dual-enrollment classes at the local cc.

 

My older dd homeschooled until she went to a classical charter s hool in 6th grade. IShe came home Again in 8th grade for a combination of reasons including boredom and health. We're looking at a part-time early college highschool for next year.

 

My kids each have different paths, but we work together for their education. I can't imagine trying to educate a child that didn't want to homeschool.

[lllll]

..

[swimmermom3]

It can definitely be unproductive to homeschool a teen who wants to join the throngs in a group school, but it can also be unproductive to send a kid to school because he wants to hang out with friends (especially in a city like ours, where a majority of friends are likely doing very unproductive things, since the ones who are productive don't have time to hang out with friends).

 

I look at it as parenting all the way up to adulthood.  I discuss, I listen, I consider, but I decide whether to homeschool. 

 

Neither of my homeschooled high schoolers wanted to homeschool, and it was tough sometimes.  But I've had kids in public school and that's tough sometimes, as well, educationally and socially.  My middle dd (previously an A/B student) completely failed 9th grade public school, then she mostly failed summer school, but still she wanted to return.  I'm sure many would agree with me that it wasn't a good idea to do what she wanted to do.  I am glad I had those last few years to choose what she would focus on.

 

My youngest was homeschooled for different reasons but still I feel I made the best parenting decision I could for him.  This isn't new -- parents have long chosen where their children will be educated, especially in areas where it is common to choose Catholic schools or boarding schools.  Homeschooling kids who would rather be in public school wasn't always fun, but there were many benefits, and having had kids in public school makes me aware that there may be issues in all cases.

 

Just wanted to add another point of view,

Julie

 

Julie, thanks for providing another point of view and a solid one at that. :D

 

My oldest son "got" to come home for 11th grade because his grades were sliding. He had advance warning of the repercussions for not paying attention to his work, so he couldn't rebel too much.  It turned out for the better because it gave me a chance to assess his weaknesses and see where he was lacking in study skills. Our relationship ended up being stronger for the experience.

 

 

 

[Kareni]

We began homeschooling in 7th grade when my daughter asked not to return to her 6th grade school. (This was no reflection on the school but rather the hour long commute each way.) We gave her the choice of attending the local middle school or of homeschooling and taking some classes at a homeschooling resource center. We had her shadow a middle school student for a full day, and she also visited the resource center. She elected to homeschool.

In subsequent years, she had free choice. Prior to ninth grade, she visited the local high school and sat in on a couple of classes, took a tour, etc. Prior to 10th grade, she attended an information session for a newly opening charter arts academy. In each case, she continued to choose homeschooling. I will admit that the resource center played a large part in her decision -- initially due to fun offerings such as fencing and ice skating but ultimately due to the fact that she fell in love with Latin which she took there for five years.  As an 11th and 12th grader, she studied some subjects at home, took an online course through PA Homeschoolers, continued taking classes at the resource center, and took a large number of classes at the local community college.

 

Best wishes whatever decision you make.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[G5052]

We had this discussion here and there as various friends went to the classroom.  They also knew that academics are our #1 priority.  It would be lovely to be with friends or march in the band, but in the long run my main objection to the local high school was academic.  So although I made the decision, they knew why.

 

Our compromise was some outside classes including dual enrollment and lots of time with friends on the weekend.  They have a number of public school friends and have said over and over that they're glad they are homeschooled.

[Reefgazer]

Yes, there is an entire culture set up around horses, but DD isn't all that interested in competing at the moment. She just wants her horse in order to ride it, spend time with it, whatever. She's more a horse person than a "riding" person or competitor, if that makes sense.

 

I also can foresee injury ending her basketball gig early. She hurt her knee last season and it's still not completely healed...she really shouldn't even be playing this season and any minor trouble with that knee will end it for her, basketball wise.

 

Actually, we never even discussed it. It was just understood that we would continue 'school' (never called it anything else - high school, junior high, elementary, etc.) until we were done. And they never asked to do anything else. And my 2 older kids (boys) had played on a junior high soccer team (and other things), so they knew what was available. But the sports 'friends' were just that - sports friends. They saw those kids during sporting events and around town, randomly, but nowhere else.

 

But, then, I never even thought about the socialization aspect, personally, unless someone else brought it up. And I, frankly, didn't care. The thing I cared most about was their education. Friends come and go, but I knew the education I could give them in that short time they had under my care would last a lifetime. So that's what I focused on. And they are all grown and have never once come back to me and expressed regret at not having had a bustling social life (some introverts and some extroverts). But they have come back to me and thanked me for the excellent education they received from their homeschooling - many times over, all 5 of them. In fact, the kid I clashed the most with over the years was the first to come back and thank me; and he was the most extroverted in our family, too.

 

And I think it's a great idea to get your dd a horse. That's not a bribe unless you turn it into a bribe. It's a privilege. And isn't there the possibility of a whole bustling social life revolving around the whole horse ownership thing? It could open many doors for her. And, when comparing sports to the horse thing, sports will probably eventually end due to age or injury or outside obligations; but the horse thing is a lifetime activity, isn't it? I'm not a horse person, so not sure. I just see all the ladies on the Chat Board who own horses and it looks that way to me.

 

Good luck with all of it. :)

[Guest2]

We as the parents made the decision to continue to homeschool through high school. Sometimes we are/were thanked, sometimes, ahem, not. We homeschool for religious reasons and feel specifically called , so that may make a difference. If we homeschooled for any other reason, I' m not sure how it would have all turned out. We didn't present to our kids or ourselves that we had another option, just worked from that perspective. That being said, none of our kids have ever asked to go to school.

[amyco]

Yes and no.  Originally I told them both we were not going to homeschool in high school.  My dd started high school but wanted to come home after 10th grade, I had a change of heart, and we let her.  I told my son he could come home too if he wanted (he started ps in 8th grade) but he is not interested.  Who knows...

[Donna]

My kids chose. My oldest home schooled until 8th grade then went to public high school so he could participate in sports. Middle ds wanted to try high school like his brother then this year, decided to come back home for 11th. Dd isn't in high school yet but right now plans to homeschool.

[RootAnn]

My oldest has no wish to enroll in a brick & mortar school right now, so I naively will say, "Of course we'll let our children decide whether they want to homeschool high school." I don't know how flippant I'd be with that answer if I was facing dd#3 in five years asking to attend a local HS. (She's the one I could see asking for it at some point.) Our choices are rather limited if we stay in this small town. I can't imagine trying to homeschool high school with a kid who doesn't want to be there. 

[texasmama]

Our public school high school option is deplorable in every possible way so it is not an option.  As a family, we visited and explored a university model school for some classes for 9th grade for one son, but in the end, it would have been a 30 drive each way three days a week and cost $4,000 for one child for two classes.  Even free, the logistics with two other kids to school would have been pretty well impossible.  The son for whom this was being considered was always an active part of the process of decision-making.  He is a reasonable kid and capable of thoughtful decisions.  He often brings up good points for consideration.  We dialog a lot about these decisions because I need and want his buy-in at this stage of the game.  He never wanted to attend brick and mortar school, though he was open to the UM school for 9th for the two classes.  In the end, he would have abided by whatever decision we made, I think.  He has considered his options for math next year pretty thoroughly with my assistance, and he has agreed that my likely choice for him is the best (online class).  He is an introvert, and his social needs are met by our family and his basketball team.

 

My approach with my kids is to thoroughly review all of the options, cull out the ones that seem unworkable or undesirable to me and then involve my older kids in the decision.  I always explain the pros and cons and the whys. 

[creekland]

My guys decided.  Oldest started homeschooling with high school, but he was on board with it.  Middle never questioned homeschooling (started in 7th grade).  Both were happy with what they chose and felt homeschooling prepared them very well for college.

 

Youngest homeschooled 5th - 8th, then really wanted to return to ps.  All through 8th grade we heard about his wishes.  The thought of not going to school was making him depressed and suicidal.  After one good scare with that, I decided I'd rather have a content "not as educated" son than a "well-educated" dead or seriously unhappy guy.

 

His educational level did drop significantly, but I still have a great son - and he's doing ok in college at this point.  That latter part is still more important to me.

 

I'm all for letting the kids decide.  Personally, I'd have loved homeschooling.

[MariaT]

I let them make the choice, but I totally skewed the presentation for the oldest kid. If I sold him, the others would follow. My kids are all quirky and odd. They would be mincemeat at the high school.

 

In his 7th grade, oldest DS started making noises about wanting to go to the local high school, and he said it was so he could be with his friend from Boy Scouts. I had already researched the procedure, so I cheerfully explained that we would have to decide in the spring before freshman year, and choose his classes in the spring (at the time we waited until summer to decide these things). I also explained that he would have to get up early, and that his friend who lived on the other side of town would be going to a different high school because he lived in a different district. I also named the boys from his troop who WOULD be going to our high school-- these were all boys whom he didn't like, and they tended to get into trouble more. I pointed out that he would be seeing these kids every day for 6 hours, instead of just a few hours at weekend campouts and a weekly meeting. He listened to all this then said, "Well, then, forget it."

 

He is my extrovert, and I knew that if he went to high school, goodbye academics. DH and I were completely committed to hsing all the way to college. So I was biased in my presentation of high school and focused on the cons--and I don't feel guilty at all--my age and wisdom helped me see this was the best choice for him. I was helped by the Scouts and his own quirky interests.

 

We focused on getting him mentors in his interests whom he could meet regularly, getting him into regional groups in his interests (regional because then the kids are from all over, so the school identity is minimized) He did a lot of online courses, but we also did a couple coops a year with kids his age. (he left Scouts freshman year.) Starting junior year he did some CC courses, which were a huge benefit to him in terms of opportunities for recognition and mentors. Now he is a senior, and in looking back he is completely glad he homeschooled. However, he said there were times when he was lonely. However, I truly believe that he would have been lonelier at the high school-- he is an unusual kid, and even the homeschooled kids his age don't really get him. At a high school, I really think he would have been targeted by bullies. He is very lopsided in his abilities, and the school mentality would not allow him to surge forward in his strengths, instead hold him back by his weaknesses. If he had gone to high school, there is no way he would be attending his first choice college.

 

Second DS never questioned it. Homeschooling is giving him the freedom to focus on his art. He is my introvert, but again we work hard to get him into regional groups with other kids who share his interests, as well as mentors. He has become very assertive in finding opportunities for himself. He would be very, very unhappy at a school.

 

My DD12 is doing high school level work in math and science, and is very small for her age. She is not interested in going to a high school at all, because she said everyone would be so much bigger than she is, but not as far along in their studies. She rides  (we lease a pony) and the stables is a wonderful resource. She competes a little-- just the shows that are at the stable school. But she also volunteers at the stables, helping very young children at their lessons, and helping to run pony birthday parties. She is at the stables 3-4 times a week, and has a group of friends there-- most are younger than she is, but she is comfortable with them. (The girls her age are giantesses compared to her, already developed, and interested in boys. She is not there yet.) The stables is like a second home to her. Also, leasing gives us the freedom to NOT go to the stables every day to take care of the horse. She is able to pursue other interests as well.

 

All three kids are different, so their perspectives are different. If my oldest had made a stronger argument for high school, (rather than tipping his hand that he just wanted to hang out with a friend), I would have to seriously consider the ps option.

 

BTW--I have seen families who take high school year by year, never deciding to commit 100 percent to homeschooling all four years. I see this as very stressful-- they can't make plans for the future because they don't know if they will be homeschooling. They aren't available to make plans with other homeschoolers to do long-term projects, for the same reason. They want to be able to take advantage of last minute opportunities-- I see it as the antithesis of the bird in the hand worth 2 in the bush mentality. They keep holding out for something better, and then they 'settle' for homeschooling. For the kids in these families, that is a lot of instability. These are kids who just can't decide what they want to do. In their coop classes the kids never really give 100 percent--it's as if they are mirroring their parents' inability to commit. So I see a lot of wisdom in the advice to make a 4-year plan and stick with it. But this requires the parents (the mom, really) to do a lot of planning and research. In my circle, the ability to be organized and prepared is not universal.

 

Maria

 

 

[Butter]

My kids were homeschooled until last year and then the older two were in 6th and 9th in public school last year.  They both chose to come back home this year.  It was completely up to them.

[NittanyJen]

We just had this discussion with our oldest, as he'll be ready for rhetoric stage work next year, and open enrollment closes in our nearby districts in the next few days.  We told him we'd like it to be a joint decision, not completely his, but also not completely ours, but an open discussion.  He (to my great relief) thought it over and said he absolutely wanted to continue to homeschool.  He said he realizes this means a lot of work next year, likely more than he'd have to do in public school, but he figures it'll be "better" work and more engaging, even if he does not look forward to the work load itself (who ever said TAG kids can't stop learning to save themselves . . . did not mean they love to do school work that Mom defines as school work LOL.  If I were and unschooly mom, maybe it would be different, but I'm only about 20% unschooly if that; I'm mostly aligned with classical).

 

Not sure where we'd have ended the discussion if he'd said he wanted to go to school.  I did have a suggestion or two to look at "just in case," but we don't have a lot of great options around here that aren't pressure cookers.

 

 

 

 

[Reefgazer]

I am finding us in this position, as well.  The public schools here are deplorable.  There are a handful of private schools that are fine (I still think I can do as well or better than them, though), but one of them is a real pressure cooker, and of course, that is the one DD has mentioned in the past.  I'm pretty sure she'd not be real happy there, but so far, I've kept my mouth closed on that thought.

We just had this discussion with our oldest, as he'll be ready for rhetoric stage work next year, and open enrollment closes in our nearby districts in the next few days.  We told him we'd like it to be a joint decision, not completely his, but also not completely ours, but an open discussion.  He (to my great relief) thought it over and said he absolutely wanted to continue to homeschool.  He said he realizes this means a lot of work next year, likely more than he'd have to do in public school, but he figures it'll be "better" work and more engaging, even if he does not look forward to the work load itself (who ever said TAG kids can't stop learning to save themselves . . . did not mean they love to do school work that Mom defines as school work LOL.  If I were and unschooly mom, maybe it would be different, but I'm only about 20% unschooly if that; I'm mostly aligned with classical).

 

Not sure where we'd have ended the discussion if he'd said he wanted to go to school.  I did have a suggestion or two to look at "just in case," but we don't have a lot of great options around here that aren't pressure cookers.

 

[msjones]

Mine wanted to hs, for high school, but I was done. I told him I wouldn't  do it.

 

He just didn't work very hard unless I was ON HIM every minute. I plain old could not do that for four more years. 

 

He loves his new school and has good grades.

[Miss Mousie]

I haven't read the other replies yet, but wanted to respond before I forget what I want to say.  ;)

 

During winter break, I asked my DS to make a pro/con list for homeschooling (I had also had him make one when he left public school last June).  His only "con" was not seeing friends enough.  Still, when I asked him what he thought about homeschooling high school, he was on the fence - until I said I would move to a different town before I sent him to the local high school.  That cemented it for him, and we will be homeschooling high school.

 

Am I doing a good job of concealing my utter glee?  :)  :)  :)

 

 

[Laura W.]

We will let our children be involved in the decision.  We are living overseas, so our only two options (since local schools here aren't good) are homeschool or boarding school (in a city an 11-hour drive away).  Our oldest has chosen to homeschool - she simply did not want to leave home.  Boarding school is very difficult if the child is not ready/does not want to go. The next two are interested in going to boarding school, but a final decision has not been made yet.  Even if our second child does go to boarding school, she will not go until 10th grade (several reasons for that), so a final decision will not need to be made until next year. 

 

Blessings,

 

Laura