Chris in VA Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I know. I'm weird. Dh can't grasp the idea that I don't want to go to Paris for our 30th anni. (Prob in Aug, but maybe in July) "Who doesn't want to go to Paris?" He's been a few times, and really is pushing for us to go. He wants to show me around. He loved it there. I saw the videos. I. Don't. Care. About. Paris. It is not romantic to me. It is not pretty to me. I have no interest in going. I am not excited. I would SO much rather go somewhere cheaper, or at least not use 1300 friggin' dollars just on airfare. I know we will go economically--no super-nice hotel, good but not great food (very few, if any, expensive dinners), etc. I don't like the city, and I don't like Paris. The trip would also include a few days in Belgium, seeing friends who moved there (he works at NATO) a few months ago. Yes, it'd be nice to see them, and yes, Belgium does sound fun, but I don't want to be with anyone else on our anniversary trip. I know--what a complainer. I just can't give him an idea of what I do want, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I think anniversary trips should be a joint decision with unlimited peremptory challenges by both parties. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I wouldn't want to go to Paris either really. I can't say I'd hate it but there are so many other places I'd rather be going. I would have a really hard time paying the airfare to get to any of the places I want to go though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I just can't give him an idea of what I do want, either. Why not? Is it because you haven't figured out what you want, or because you can't find a way to say it so that he hears what you are saying? How long would the trip be? Is it possible to do Paris for a few days and then go somewhere that you wan to go? I might not completely understand how you feel ;-), but I do think you should have an anniversary trip that you will both enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I don't like the city, and I don't like Paris. Do you just dislike cities? For countryside, Chateau de Versailles was a nice day trip for me. I went during winter though so we watch people ice skating in front of City Hall and the airport was dusted with snow. If the trip is to see friends in Belgium at the same time, maybe look at where you want to go near to Belgium? Airfare is likely just as expensive but the place would be somewhere you prefer. When hubby and I were on a Europe tour, the three star hotels were more than adequate to have a good night sleep and enjoy touring the next day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 We are going to Paris in the spring, and DS doesn't want to go. :confused1: I don't get it at all; it is such a welcoming city (contrary to popular opinion), the food is fantastic, the historic sites are amazing, and it's so much fun to discover little interesting things (but you have to stay off the beaten Eiffel Tower-l'opera track to do so). Go with an open mind, avoid touristy crap, and you'll really enjoy yourself. If you don't like the city, take a short (20-30 minute) train ride to the countryside, tour Versailles, see Chantilly, and make a few side trips. But whatever you do, don't miss the Latin Quarter in the evening! Trust him on this one, and let him arrange the date nights! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Your dh wants to do something special. I think to make this (anniversary celebration) work, you have to come up with something that would be special to you. You can't just be Debbie Downer on what he suggests, you have to come up with options. He might not like the options, but then he would see what appeals to you and understand why Paris isn't a good fit. 30 years--that's wonderful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Are you trying to talk your dh out of it, just venting or looking for ideas of things you might actually like to do there? I am happy to do any of those, I just need to know which I am supposed to do. ;) There are things I love in Paris, but they aren't necessarily the first things people mention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 LOL. I'm starting French this semester at college. I don't really want to take French, but for my career goals it makes the most sense. They are having a historic preservation study abroad trip for 3 weeks in the summer. You only have to have one class in French, historic preservation is one of my career choices. Outside of affording it, I keep kind of going, I don't want to go to France, but then I find myself pinning all those "travel to France with one carry on" pins and thinking it would be fun. I'd pick a dozen place before France ever made the list, but if the opportunity happens, I'm not refusing. So for your anniversary, where do you see yourself going? Could you do Paris for a few days and then somewhere else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Have you ever been to Paris before? I'm not sure from your post... I thought I wouldn't like Paris before we went the first time. It was love at first sight....a love affair that continues today...long distance. Belgium. NATO. Those are my stomping grounds--we lived not far from NATO. Go, see your friends, then skee-daddle. Enjoy Brussels, head over to Ghent and Brugges. Nothing better. If Paris is truly out (my heart hurts just typing that. ;) ) then head to some small French village--do a wine tour, see a chateau, or see all the WWII bunkers at Normandy or something...France is just too wonderful and romantic to skip. Just my opinion, of course. Congrats on 30 years. We spent anniversaries 23 & 24 in Paris. Lovely memories! What ever you do, where ever you go, enjoy your time together! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Hated France. I was treated poorly, and honestly didn't see the supposed charm it has to offer. If the draw to that area is friends in Belgium, why don't you start researching that and the surrounding area to see if there is anything that interests you. The art & history in Belgium is amazing, and the hiking is lovely in that entire area. Personally, I'd try to sway your DH toward Belgium & Germany if I were in your shoes - the castles are absolutely stunning, the countryside is gorgeous, the museums are fascinating, and I've never felt so welcomed anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I wouldn't think of it as going to Paris to see Paris, but to see a place that is dear to your DH. I lived in New Orleans for about 9 months when I was younger and my not yet DH came to visit. Those visits are important memories not because they were in NO but because he became part of my memories there. On our honeymoon we visited the places in FL that we had both gone as a child in addition to creating new memories of our own. We've visited old vacation haunts and childhood homes together in order to share those memories. Maybe you DH just wants to implant you into his fond memories of Paris. :) ETA: I'd probably choke on the cost too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I don't want to go to Paris either, but there are other places I'd love to see. Is there anywhere you do want to go? What about somewhere else in Europe? Is it the money for such a big trip and you'd rather do something closer to home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Maybe a trip to travel around both urban and scenic parts of...Quebec? That would be cheaper than Paris, and yet "French" enough (perhaps) for your hubby. Or maybe New Orleans? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I vote Montreal, old, french, good food, and you can drive or take the train. If you need to visit friends haha come see us. And right now the US dollar is strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Paris isn't really high on my list of places I'd want to go. I'd be happy to go if it were convenient, but I'd much rather spend the money to go somewhere else. How about Mexico City? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I just can't wrap my head around your problem. But you should have say in where you go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I know. I'm weird. Dh can't grasp the idea that I don't want to go to Paris for our 30th anni. (Prob in Aug, but maybe in July) "Who doesn't want to go to Paris?" He's been a few times, and really is pushing for us to go. He wants to show me around. He loved it there. I saw the videos. I. Don't. Care. About. Paris. It is not romantic to me. It is not pretty to me. I have no interest in going. I am not excited. I would SO much rather go somewhere cheaper, or at least not use 1300 friggin' dollars just on airfare. I know we will go economically--no super-nice hotel, good but not great food (very few, if any, expensive dinners), etc. I don't like the city, and I don't like Paris. The trip would also include a few days in Belgium, seeing friends who moved there (he works at NATO) a few months ago. Yes, it'd be nice to see them, and yes, Belgium does sound fun, but I don't want to be with anyone else on our anniversary trip. OK, if you won't be staying in a great place in Paris and will feel like you have to be careful about how much you're spending, and then you will have to spend time with other people when you would prefer to just be with your dh, I absolutely agree with you that you should nix this trip. Basically, if you're already resenting spending the money for the trip, you probably shouldn't go. It would be different if you said you were excited about the trip but also wanted to be economical, because your mindset would be positive and you would find a way to make the trip a great one, but in this case, your heart isn't in it, and why spend thousands of dollars on a vacation you aren't looking forward to taking? If you can't think of anywhere you want to go, so what? Is a trip somehow required for your anniversary? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Paris put me back together when I was at my lowest. I love Paris. Go in July if you can. August is their vacation month. Plan on walking a lot. Get good shoes. I would be happy to PM with you about what a simple person (not a world traveller or exotic of any kind) can enjoy in Paris. I don't see how we will ever return, and that breaks my heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Your want-o-meter is broken. Get it fixed. ;) I hope you have a lovely anniversary wherever you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Part of love is indulging the other person.......... if he's excited about it, and you don't have anything you'd rather do, I'd try to at least be tolerant of the idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Can I go in your place? I looove Paris. :) How about Budapest? It's very cool and quite a bit cheaper! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 You really do have to come up with some ideas. It would be very helpful if the two of you could agree on a basic budget BEFORE you chose your destination/trip. Here's some pondering starters: City or country? Touring about or staying put? Beach or forest? Desert or tundra? Hiking or shopping? Camping or hotel? Hope the two of you can dream up a fantastic trip together that will be a blessing to you both! Anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I lived in Paris (well, the suburbs). I don't like Paris. Italy though is lovely to visit, also Prague, Stockholm, Budapest, Vienna... There are many places I would rather go than Paris :D The real question though is what would YOU enjoy as a way of celebrating thirty years of marriage? Certainly that is worth celebrating! I do understand your husband wanting to share Paris with you as a place that he enjoys. I have dragged my husband to places that were really not of interest to him but that I wanted to share because they were significant to me. There is value in such sharing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Old Quebec city is beautiful and historic, and if you're into history is a nice place to go. Maybe a trip to travel around both urban and scenic parts of...Quebec? That would be cheaper than Paris, and yet "French" enough (perhaps) for your hubby. Or maybe New Orleans? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 My BIL bought tickets for two to Thailand for a surprise trip about nine years ago - and then his wife refused to go. He offered the tickets to my husband, but was eventually able to get a reasonable refund. What do you want to do? If Paris is a major thing to him, is there a way he can plan a trip some time? (BIL still hasn't gotten to the Far East.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasperstone Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Can I go in your place? I looove Paris. :) I was thinking that too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannahs4 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 No desire to go there either.â˜ºï¸ I hate cities. Go to New Zealand. Much nicer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Puke. I wouldn't want to go either! Cities are gross. :) (And, I've been a couple times many years ago, and it wasn't awful, but I just don't like cities or city stuff one bit. The only way I'd want to go to a city is with a very high budget for luxury hotel/meals/shows/etc, as that's the only real fun stuff I can think of doing that is in cities!) If you've made it 30 years, you must have a way to communicate better than this! I agree with PP who stated that anniversary trips should be MUTUALLY thrilling. I'd tell him that you're happy to go to Paris with him some other time, maybe for HIS special event (55th or 60th birthday coming up?) . . . but that for celebrating your MARRIAGE, you need to do something you will BOTH enjoy . . . so keep brainstorming until you find something you can both be excited about. Maybe make a game of it . . . printing cards up with names of 100 cities/islands/places to go . . . and going through the stack(s) together . . . leaving only options that neither of you has vetoed. Maybe each of you make 50 cards . . . and then start veto'ing and see if you can get down to a dozen or fewer for further exploration? Thankfully, dh and I generally have very compatible vacation desires (few people, nice beaches, good food) . . . but even with that, we've had to negotiate some! For 15, he picked a Bahamas island that was really remote and had limited services . . . and, together, we foolishly chose an adorable-sounding remote cabin . . . then the power went out for a day (no AC, no fans, HOT, no cooking) and restaurants were few and far between . . . and groceries were very expensive . . . and I got my period so snorkeling (sharks! blood!) was stressful and, of course, TeA was disrupted . . . it was just no fun for me. So, when the 20th was approaching, we worked together to find a destination that had the beaches/snorkeling that dh craves along with great food and luxury accommodation that I crave . . . (He is much easier to please with food and lodging, lol.) We are BOTH very eager for June to arrive so we can enjoy our trip! If it's super fun, GREAT! If it's not perfect, there is no blame, as we chose together! So, either way, it'll all be fine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieF Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 As someone has mentioned August is not a good time to go as most of the French go away then. A lot of restaurants (especially small ones) will be closed as their owners have left the city for the coast. Just something to bear in mind! Stephanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twolittleboys Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I am not that excited about Paris either but can understand that your husband would want to share something he loves with you. Do you not enjoy travelling in general or is it just Paris you don't care for? Is there some other city that you would like to visit and your husband might enjoy as well? How about Rome or London - I find both of these more exciting/romantic (well, I have never been to Paris but at least in my mind...) I assume you already have hinted at not being crazy about Paris... A lot depends on how difficult the whole trip would be for you financially. I kind of do see value in going to Paris as it sounds like your husband really wants to take you. Maybe you could get more interested in the city (or something in the surroundings)? As I said, I have never been to Paris and it isn't on the top of my list. Still, there are some things that would be kind of nifty there: eating French pastries in a small café, seeing the Eiffel Tower at night, visiting the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa, seeing Notre Dame... I also wouldn't mind Versailles (and maybe Eurodisney). Obviously that is just me (and maybe I should go there after all) but is there really nothing in Paris/France you would like to see? Maybe read some books that take place in Paris? Sorry if it sounds like I am trying to persuade you. I can really see not being interested but I also think it kind of sweet that your husband wants to show you around. It sounds like it is a romantic city to him so maybe that is worth a consideration... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Um... I just remembered that I almost outright refused to go to Alaska with my husband because I thought it would be boring. I was wrong. I loved the entire trip and had a fantastic time honing my photography skills. So, even though my previous post says I hated France, I guess I really should give you my "what I did to get out of my own way" tips for adjusting my attitude about a trip I didn't want to take. 1. Don't worry about the money. Tell DH to be moderate, but leave the details entirely in his hands and pretend he is a travel broker. He will enjoy the planning stage, and you will be freed from the anxiety of every little choice. 2. Find something you will enjoy improving within yourself. Do you want to learn history? Become a better chef? Exercise more? Improve your photography skills like I did? This will give you something to look forward to, and will give your husband some direction when planning destinations. 3. Take some time to research a good piece of equipment for your passion pursuit and at least one book on the topic. Consider this your souvenir of the trip and go ahead and give yourself permission to buy it. Then, beyond checking for damage, tuck that item away in your suitcase for yourself until the trip. Have fun picking out something that makes you happy, and if you aren't a shopper, remember that there is always comfy shopping from your couch via. Amazon. (Oh, and previous posters were right, if you are headed to Europe you almost certainly need new shoes too.) 4. Stop thinking about the trip as a destination, but instead focus your attention on your passion pursuit. You are now going on a self-directed photography trip (or immersion cooking class, or whatever). It worked for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Whatever you do, don't go in August. I am of the opinion that anniversaries should be a mutual decision with both parties happy about the destination. So, I think you need to have a talk with your dh. But, you also need to come up with alternatives because it sounds like he is making an effort to plan something special, and if you don't reciprocate with another plan that makes it obvious you want to spend the time with him and do something memorable, then it's going to seem to him that you do not want to celebrate or be with him. Hurtful. Now, if the latter is the case, then the issue is most definitely not Paris but the relationship. Hopefully, not your reality. If you really want to save money, join Groupon. You could get some excellent deals on other destinations if you can get yourself to one of the airports on the list. Another option might be to go be isolated at some lovely ski lodge in Vermont, Maine, etc. quite often the summer rates are lower since their peak season is winter. Hiking, sleeping in, reading, seeing historical sites, being outside of the city...maybe that is your cup of tea. I hope you have a lovely 30th anniversary. As for me, dh bought me a trip to France in February to visit my sister who is living in Caen. We get to spend three nights in Paris together before leaving for her tiny, university department. I am very excited about it, but having had a grandfather that was a paratrooper in WWII who was dropped on Utah beach, I am looking forward to visiting Normandy even more. My middle ds is quivering with excitement since I'll get to see some Viking/Norman historical sites. Poor boy isn't going and knows that at 6'0, he won't neatly fit in a carry on bag! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 You could hang in England, and just take the Chunnel thing and hit Paris for a couple days....? I still think find a place neither of you have been, possibly French Canadian, and do that. Or - maybe southern France? A couple days in Paris, then go elsewhere? And I second everyone who said avoid August in France. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 OK, if you won't be staying in a great place in Paris and will feel like you have to be careful about how much you're spending, and then you will have to spend time with other people when you would prefer to just be with your dh, I absolutely agree with you that you should nix this trip. Basically, if you're already resenting spending the money for the trip, you probably shouldn't go. It would be different if you said you were excited about the trip but also wanted to be economical, because your mindset would be positive and you would find a way to make the trip a great one, but in this case, your heart isn't in it, and why spend thousands of dollars on a vacation you aren't looking forward to taking? If you can't think of anywhere you want to go, so what? Is a trip somehow required for your anniversary? Yep, I'm with Catwoman. I would feel the same way. I'd also feel bad because I wouldn't want to toss cold water in my husband's face if he was excited about going somewhere. To me a vacation isn't really a vacation if we have to worry about our spending all the time. I'm not sure if it's just you not wanting to spend the money, or if you really can't afford to spend the money. (I don't mean we have to go top-of-the-line all the time, but it's just not fun to have to pinch pennies the whole trip.) Maybe when talking to your husband about it, it would help if you focus on the fact that part of the trip would include visiting friends and you don't want to visit friends on your anniversary trip - you want to spend the time with him. But you do have to come up with some other ideas. What do you both like to do when you travel? What kinds of places do you both like? Congratulations on your 30 years together! ETA: I'm not sure why it's surprising to people that some folks might not want to go to Paris. We all have preferences of places we'd like to go, don't we? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 Thanks for giving me things to think about. I know I sound so completely ungrateful. Edited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 My oldest son was traveling in Europe and he really disliked Paris. I think you should go somewhere you both want to go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saw Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I don't think you sound ungrateful. I've had people offer me things/vacations/etc that I haven't really wanted, for a variety of reasons. I'm still grumpy because of being "forced" to go on vacation in Hawaii a few years ago, simply because I was TOLD what I had to do rather than asked what I would like. Being told what to do pushes my buttons. I'm working on it and will get there eventually. It sounds like you and your dh are coming at this from different perspectives, each of which makes sense on its own. Could you show your dh a version of what you've written above? I would look for a way to merge your needs and desires into an amazing trip, wherever that would be. And, frankly, having lived in Paris for a few years, I get that there are people who aren't that into Paris, people who adore it, people who are "meh". I don't see why people should have to love Paris because it's the sort of place you're supposed to love. Personally, I quite like it and want to go back for a short visit, but that's just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Dh surprised me with a vacation for our 20th anniversary. I hated the trip. It was nothing like what I would have picked at that moment in my life. We did have a few decent moments in the trip but they were few and far between, mostly due to my own attitude about it. I look back on the trip with mostly negative memories and that is a horrible feeling for a trip that dh tried very hard to make nice for me. The problem for me was that it wanted it For Me. I didn't want it myself. Since it was a gift, I felt obliged to accept it, and have regretted it ever since. He pre-bought all the tickets, even to venues, so I couldn't really ask him to change the trip. OH, well. I say, stand your ground and find a compromise you can both live with. PS, my trip was to a very nice resort in Maui, but he didn't think about the fact that my back injury makes it painful to walk on sand or to hike, I can't play in the ocean, and the airplane trip was excruciating for me. My pale-skinned-self, spent hours sitting (trip flared my back so bad I was having a hard time even walking), being bored out of my mind, in the shade under palm trees while he played in the ocean. It was the worst trip I have ever taken, and it cost us thousands of dollars. The worst part....is that he felt horrible about not thinking it all through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I have no desire to go to Paris either. But Maui sounds way worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 (((Chris))) I think you sound just fine...And a 30th wedding anniversary is like a wedding day to me, and that means the bride should be happy. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Op, (((HUGS)))...I think it's time for a heart to heart with your DH. It seems to me that if his love is travel, but you see other needs right now, that there should be a compromise that will work. Taking a short trip, not to far, but somewhere meaningful or fun, and the money saved for a couch and end table or other need. This way he gets a little of what he needs, and you get a little of what you need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I totally get why you don't want to go to Paris. Paris, to me, is best represented by a memory from waiting at the train station to leave. I got there early because if I missed that train, I'd miss my flight home. I watched a great many extremely elegantly dressed women walking toy dogs with their hands above their elbows, and each and every one of them let their dog pee on the post that kept cars from entering. I do agree with the others though, you need to have a suggestion. Your husband is obviously thinking romantic. Where would be romantic to you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twolittleboys Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I agree that it is time to just talk it over. However, one possible option might be a cruise in Europe. They are less expensive than one might think, would give your husband a chance to see lots while also giving downtime. I also tend to overdo on vacation, running around so much that it is no longer relaxing. But a cruise cuts out a lot of the travelling time and pretty much forces you to relax more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleinMN Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Is there some place special to both of you? It sounds like you would rather not travel too far and stay at a MUCH nicer place and eat at an EXCELLENT restaurant. (Or maybe that's just me projecting what I would definitely want.) I hope you can find a compromise, but after 30 years...celebrating your anniversary ought to make you both happy (at least in my world it should). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 7, 2015 Author Share Posted January 7, 2015 I totally get why you don't want to go to Paris. Paris, to me, is best represented by a memory from waiting at the train station to leave. I got there early because if I missed that train, I'd miss my flight home. I watched a great many extremely elegantly dressed women walking toy dogs with their hands above their elbows, and each and every one of them let their dog pee on the post that kept cars from entering. I do agree with the others though, you need to have a suggestion. Your husband is obviously thinking romantic. Where would be romantic to you? I've realized romantic is not a place for me. Almost any place can be romantic. Romance as a feeling happens for me when we have shared something deep and profound and intimate--for me, it's thru sharing in conversation. I want to talk about things that matter--theology, hopes and dreams, our opinions and how they are formed, fears, the past, areas we need to grow, etc. Deep stuff. I get that with girlfriends. We need, perhaps, time and space to do that. As far as practicality, I'm a beach person--but not a busy, high-rise, touristy beach. Ft. Lauderdale and Miami, for example, are not beaches. That comes from my youth, going to the Outer Banks (this was 35-40 years ago, when it wasn't built up). We'd go with really fun families, and so it was a connection experience, as well as a pristine beach experience. Dh moved to Ft. L as a teen, with a new stepdad. leaving behind his extended family. Beach to him is not the same as beach to me, so it is not a place he wants to go. We discovered what "beach" means to us this summer, when he wanted to go to VA beach for a day trip--he thought I'd like that, but I told him it really wasn't the beach for me. (Poor guy, eh? :lol:) Now that we understand each other, our reactions make sense. Anyway, thanks for the help. We have a little time yet before we need to make reservations. We'll probably go to Paris in the end, and I'll like it fine. The need to be heard, understood, and "engaged with" is strong in me. Once I feel that, the places we go don't really matter as much. I hope some of you are like that, too! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 I totally get why you don't want to go to Paris. Paris, to me, is best represented by a memory from waiting at the train station to leave. I got there early because if I missed that train, I'd miss my flight home. I watched a great many extremely elegantly dressed women walking toy dogs with their hands above their elbows, and each and every one of them let their dog pee on the post that kept cars from entering. I do agree with the others though, you need to have a suggestion. Your husband is obviously thinking romantic. Where would be romantic to you? On the post where all the other dogs peed is the best place to pee. Parisians do indulge their pups. Did you know that while dog walkers do not pick up waste , the streets are cleaned by a water purge nightly? I think that's so clever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Although French food is amazing. I have not been to Paris, but i have been to France and what I remember most is the food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Except the coffee.....yuck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 What about the European countryside in a little gite or something? Especially if he really wants to go back to Europe. I know you don't want to get on a plane, but... he really wants that. ETA: http://en.gites-de-france.com/holiday-rentals-Eco-gite.html ETA: I also don't like Paris best of all. If I have to do cities I much prefer something less expensive and touristy. Camping in Germany and Austria is also nice. I know. I'm weird. Dh can't grasp the idea that I don't want to go to Paris for our 30th anni. (Prob in Aug, but maybe in July) "Who doesn't want to go to Paris?" He's been a few times, and really is pushing for us to go. He wants to show me around. He loved it there. I saw the videos. I. Don't. Care. About. Paris. It is not romantic to me. It is not pretty to me. I have no interest in going. I am not excited. I would SO much rather go somewhere cheaper, or at least not use 1300 friggin' dollars just on airfare. I know we will go economically--no super-nice hotel, good but not great food (very few, if any, expensive dinners), etc. I don't like the city, and I don't like Paris. The trip would also include a few days in Belgium, seeing friends who moved there (he works at NATO) a few months ago. Yes, it'd be nice to see them, and yes, Belgium does sound fun, but I don't want to be with anyone else on our anniversary trip. I know--what a complainer. I just can't give him an idea of what I do want, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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