Another family Christmas conundrum- NOT a JAWM post, I really want opinions

[Mama Geek]

Alice, hope your family feels better.  I have a cold my FIL has Bronchitis and Pneumonia, and my MIL is sick as well.  We are going to try and have an easy day for everyone here tomorrow, but who knows.

[HS Mom in NC]

I hope your family appreciates your efforts to coordinate what works for most people. If not, know that the rest of us appreciate your efforts and your kind intent behind wanting to make it work for everyone.

By the way, here's a little trick that I've used twice to stop complaints once a decision was made and announced:

 I said, "OK, based on all the practicalities and commitments and schedules everyone has, it looks like getting together at _____________________'s house at _______________pm. will work out best.  Hope you can all make it and if not, we'll miss you and hope to see you at the next get together."

 

Complainer(s): Grumble, complain, whine. Variations on "This doesn't suit my preferences." and  "Why can't we just do this and that and the other just the way I want?"

 

Then I say to the complainer(s): [sympathetic tone] "Yeah. Coordinating and deciding is a tough job because nothing works out for everyone...[Mix of hopeful and wondering tone] Maybe next time you could figure out something that works better for more people....[Hopeful eager tone] So do you want to take over for next year?!That would be great! It would help me out so much!"

Both times the complaints stopped immediately. Most people just want to show up and eat.

 

One year I had to have a chart with everyone's work schedule, their other extended family/in-law plans, travel plans and their church service commitments (several of us were musicians, built sets and made costumes for the church Christmas services.) Sometimes ya gotta do whatcha gotta do to figure things out. Once you make the call, know you did the best you could.  That's all anyone can ever do and it's all anyone can ever expect.

[kiwik]

You seem to have solved it. I was going to suggest inviting SIL etc for breakfast to do the photo.

 

As for neices and nephews working many jobs young adults are in require staff to work Christmas eve. Also a lot of pressure is put on young, single adults to let those with children have first go at holiday leave. They were quite like unable or too nervous to ask for leave. And sometimes not everyone can make it to everything.

[Elisabet1]

You are not being selfish at all. It takes a lot of work to dress everyone up to travel to someone's house and have a picture. She can take the picture on another day.

 

Sorry..I know my answer is late. But for future reference..that is my answer.