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How do you help your kids choose a sport?


DoppeltGemoppelt
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My twin boys(7) are currently in swimming lessons once a week and we go inline skating about once a week or once every other week. I don't feel that this is enough, especially with the winter months coming and being cooped up inside. They like to swim, but only go to swim lessons because I make them.

 

I want for them to be involved in sports because it is a great habit to keep as an adult. They don't need to be the best at it and I'm not in it for any sort of team/competition unless they choose to do so. They have been in dancing (didn't like it), gymnastics (enjoyed it. They were even asked to be on the team, but didn't want to keep going), and soccer. My guess is, that they just don't enjoy organized sports, but we have no real other options around where we live. The sports available in my area, besides what I have already mentioned, are football, baseball, basketball, karate, wrestling. Everything else is about an hour drive away. So far, they are show zero interest in any of the options I gave them. It is not that they don't enjoy sports in general. In fact ,sometimes they will do push-ups, chin-ups, obstacle courses and many other things at home for fun, just not on a regular basis.

 

I guess my question is: Do you make your kids try a sport? If your kids enjoy a sport, how did they find their passion?

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No, we won't be making our kids play a sport. I see no point in making them do something like that if they don't want to. My children do martial arts and love it. They chose to start at 3 years old because mom and dad both do martial arts, dad teaches it, and it looked like fun to them. They wanted to start before 3 but the program starts at 3.

 

The only thing I'd enforce is swim lessons until they were confident swimmers

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Unfortunately, a lot of these things turn serious right in the beginning.  Meaning competitive overbearing parents when the kids are 3.  I have not found too much in the realm of "just for fun".  And so if you have a kid not interested from the start, being in that environment might be an even bigger turn off.

 

At that age I often offered bribes.  Try this and at the end you'll get a reward.  I did so hoping they'd find something they liked.  They did not though and mostly because it all just turned too serious..  I had both in dance.  When they were very little that was fine, but by the time they were 9/10 it was already a 3 days a week serious and competitive thing. 

 

But I don't want to be a total wet blanket.  I'm sure there are areas with some more recreational options.  I know soccer clubs/groups often have some less intense options. 

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We never made our kids try any sport.  They've both tried soccer and have had swimming lessons.  They'd swim more if we had options for it, but we don't.  They would be willing to try out a track-and-field club (I think they would like it), but every one we've found requires 3 nights of practice a week and we can't manage that. 

 

Now they are taking rock-clmbing lessons at a gym and they love it.

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I require my kids to participate in a sport.  I have one that prefers team sports and one that prefers individual.  Swim team and tennis have both been well received.  

 

I figure it is my job to ensure that they are active and healthy growing up and have the skills to continue to be so.

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At that age my kids swam year round. Summer swim team plus lessons in winter. If your dc are not proficient swimmers I would make Time as a family to go once a week. Once a week lessons do not improve skill without practice. When you go play; kids will practice the skills from lessons without prodding from you. Your purpose would be to keep it fun.

 

My oldest had motor skills problems and organized sports were a lot cheaper than PT and OT, but he did those too. Anyway, during fall, winter spring I had a rule that he had to be in a sport. He got to choose the sport in addition to swim lessons. He had to finish the season. So, he hated most sports, but he tried them all for a season. His motor skills improved and he got exercise.

 

If you want your sons in more sports activities there are a couple things I suggest:

1 look up all rec league and community center schedules in you area, tell them they have do something each season and finish it. All they have to do is pick the thing.

2 look up family times and passes at rec centers or trampoline places or rock climbing places and schedule yourself to be there with them once a week.

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Just tossing this into the conversation... I was very active as a kid, running around with my friends, playing active games, biked everywhere.  But I didn't like PE in school, and I hated the swimming lessons my mother forced me to take.

 

In high school I had the longest and most frequent menstrual periods ever, as just saying it was that time got us out of swimming.  I forged notes from my mother saying I had to sit out from softball (or whatever sport we were on) due to some injury.  (That was the only time I ever forged notes.)   I avoided sports as much as I could.  I still hate swimming today and am not confident in the water. 

 

So, I agree kids need to be active, etc., but I have been very cautious about forcing my kids to do things they don't want to do.  I agree completely that swimming is a life skill, and I wish I could swim better, but forced lessons didn't help me very much.

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I make my kids do sports as their PE class. Well, TBH, now that they're older all of my kids do things because they want to not because I make them. However, in the beginning, I just announced that it was sign up time and asked if they'd like soccer or softball. As they've gotten older, they've tried lots of things. Some they've ditched asap, some they've done for a few years, some look like long term activities, some are new. My goal wasn't to turn them into super stars or scholarship contenders. I just didn't want them to hate exercise and struggle with their weight like I have. I did achieve that goal. Both GW and T are very athletic and even Geezle (the least athletic of the crew) is fit and able to do a good job in middle school PE and on the Boy Scout fitness tests. Of course, that could also be dh's genetic inheritance, so your results my vary.

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My son has always been active in sports, starting with hockey at 3. When he was 8 we put him in (aka strongly encouraged) a rec department running club, because it was becoming apparent at soccer that the child could.not run--he'd skip about and hop after the ball but not RUN like the other kids. I have to admit I was terribly skeptical, but that decision turned out to be the best. Today he's a competitive runner--just completed his first 10k--and it's overtaken hockey as his favorite sport. We've been told he's a marathoner in training due to his natural pacing ability and endurance. If we hadn't been firm with that decision to make him try it, I'm doubtful he would have taken it on himself.

 

So force...no! Seek out something appropriate for your child's temperament and interests...yes! And I definitely agree it shouldn't be just for the child. Involve the whole family and it will become a natural way to spend time together and stretch and grow in new ways together. Once you start looking, you might be surprised what your community offers.

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Yes, at that age I sign them up and I don't ask for their permission to do so.  :)  If I left it up to my 7yo, she would do little besides read all day (and all night).  She needs the structured activities because she does not run and play like we expect kids to do on their own.

 

In general my kids wouldn't take the initiative to sign up themselves, but once they are in a sport, they like it or even love it.  They also enjoy seeing the friends there.  For soccer, they take a "footskills" class during the "off season" where they get to see some of their teammates.

 

One thing that is a little different is that we do "family" tae kwon do.  I attend the same class they attend.  We take the same belt tests and currently wear the same belt.  I think that is somewhat motivating, if only because it's fascinating to watch your 48yo mom be coached by a 25yo instructor.  :P  I also think martial arts are in the "life skills" category, so I don't entertain "I don't wanna" grumbles when they would rather play their DS.

 

My kids did swim lessons through all the levels, and now they are on "swim team" which does conditioning practice 2x per week.  When time allows, we work in other times for them to swim for fun as well.  They enjoy this, and with an indoor rec center pool, they can do it year round.  (I should swim too, but it's a hassle so I don't.)

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We don't do team sports. DH has seen the hassles and expense that his coworkers have put up with for team sports, and he was adamant that we would not do that, so he didn't even want to start with team sports. We do martial arts, and the three big kids love it. The 3yo is waiting anxiously for his chance to start, and even the 1yo kicks his tiny foot and says, "Ai!" I may take classes with them when my small boys are old enough to attend class, because their class is mixed age/level. I wouldn't probably make them do it if they didn't love it, although theirs is heavily self defense based, so maybe the basics would be good for them anyway. I love that there is a team aspect in the sense that all the kids support each other, but I love that they are only competing with themselves (well, my big two compete with each other a bit over skills, but it's been good, because they each notice different things, and that makes their home practicing stronger), and the emphasis is on learning your set of skills, not being better/stronger/faster than anyone else.

 

We also hike and bike a lot in the warm weather. The big kids have bikes, and DH has a bike with a trail-a-bike attachment for a younger child, so they can all ride together, and I'm very happy about this because I generally prefer the fitness for life approach, things they can easily keep up as adults without needing a whole team.

 

To the OP, can your kids try a class or a few weeks of different sports to see if they would like something more than they think they would?

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I've had my kids try soccer and baseball. They take swimming lessons because I want them to not drown. I view swimming (to a certain level) as a life skill, not a sport. They all learn to bike at a young age.

 

I'm not really interested in my kids doing a sport for fitness. I think a fitness lifestyle is much healthier. The amount of time youths spend doing sports  is unsustainable (two hours a day was "normal" for sports at my junior and high school - these were the normal athletes, not the elite ones). I think many student athletes develop the habit of eating based on that amount of movement and then don't change when they have desk jobs and make it to the gym a couple of times per week. Many star high school football players and waterpolo players aren't that trim when you see them at thirty.

 

I do want my kids to be able to join in a game of beach volleyball or office baseball, though. So that is my skill level goal. As a family, we bike, walk, and hike a lot.

 

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If they are active outside every day without a sport, I wouldn't push it.  When the oldest developed a tendency to stay inside all. the. time. I pushed a sport. If yours don't play outside in the winter, a sport for that season would be a good idea.

 

I consider swim lessons a life skill, not a sport (swim team is the sport) and required my kids to get their lifesaving card.  Turns out its hard to pass level 5 without swimming every day, so they ended up on a team and stuck with it.

 

We tried rec sports off and on, but the scheduling was a disaster and no one was enthused.  They could all swim in the same place at the same time, so it became the default:  pick something else or continue swimming.  Eldest didn't particularly like swimming but wasn't motivated enough to pick anything else, so he stayed with it, I only had to drive one place every day and everyone got some exercise.

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We did want our kids to try a variety of sports, because we wanted them to get into a habit of good, physical activity.  Often, sports can fit that need in a fun way. 

 

We began when they were quite young and didn't have a strong opinion about any of it yet! ha  :)  We tried things like T-ball, gymnastics, swim lessons, ice skating;  we also did a lot of things together as a family like hiking, biking, etc.  As they got a little older (around 10), we encouraged them to be in the community swim club for a summer activity, along with after-school soccer.  Our kids were really open to trying all of these, and part of that is because we live in a small town and a lot of these activities -- especially the community ones (versus school ones) were very casual and laid back, plus their friends were in it.

 

As they got to be a little older, we began participating in casual, cross-country ski races as a family, and made little weekend vacations out of it to make it extra fun and memorable.  Even my 70-something father would race with them.  Some of our kids also got into community ice hockey and learned to unicycle (so got to be in parades  :)).

 

I think our early involvement in a variety of physical activities emboldened them to try others as they got older, and most of them ended up being on school athletic teams as well.

 

None of them continued with organized sports after high school, and that's fine with us!  They all love physical activity though;  I think staying active really did become a lifelong habit for them, which is all I really wanted.  Now, they do things like cross country skiing, running (not competitively), mountain hiking, pilates, biking, yoga, and even just walking to places that are less than a mile away instead of always driving.

 

We did NOT have a competitive emphasis on sports at all when they were growing up (though some of them were naturally competitive).  It was more about having fun.

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Here's my two cents, so take it for what it's worth. ;)

 

I think that "making" kids participate in sports is a bad idea.* It often just causes them to dislike it. And most of the people I know who were very involved in team sports in school are now couch potatoes. Thing is, unless you make it pro or get an athletic scholarship, there is usually not much opportunity to participate in team sports once you leave high school. If your goal is to get them to be involved in something active when they are adults (as you stated in the OP), then take them to do active things WITH you. Run or walk, bike, hike, snowshoe, cross country ski, kayak, swim, etc. together. These are all things that one can do without a team as an adult. Some of them take equipment, but you would be surprised by what you can find used and cheap or even free. If you make them do sports, but don't do anything active yourself, they may not see the value of it as they go into adulthood.

 

*I did make my kids take swimming lessons, but that was a safety issue, imo.

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Playing team sports is a vital part of a young person's development both in terms of physical fitness and coordination, but also in fostering an ease in navigating the cooperation-competition skills that are critical for life success in most professions.

 

There is an old saying that "the battle of Waterloo was won on the playing feilds of Eton." Leadership, comeradery, character, physical toughness, and a sence of sacrificing for the team are built on the playing feilds. As is working together to win.

 

Sport are not the only was to condition the mind and the body, but few alternatives provide all the benefits along with the social interactions.

 

The classical idea is that a well-trained mind and a well-trained body are inextricably bound. One needs both to have a life in balance.

 

Bill

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I'm not sure "forcing" a child to do sports is the reason some kids dislike sports.  I think maybe those kids would have disliked sports either way, or else there would be no need for "forcing."

 

With my youngest - the bookworm - she would still rather sit around.  Nobody would accuse her of being athletic.  However, her health is pretty good.  She can keep up with her peers for the most part and does not get left behind or ostracised for what her body would be if I gave in to her preference to sit around all day.  She does not have a weight problem to struggle with, as do many other kids with similar backgrounds and body types.  I am OK with the fact that she probably won't ever want to play corporate volleyball, and I'm OK with her blaming that on my "forcing" her to do activities in childhood.

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DD2 was looking through an old scrapbook and saw page after page of her adult brother on team after team as a child, swimming, soccer, baseball, karate, anything we could think of. She was so surprised since this is not the brother she knows. Although well enough in shape, he is the stereotypical 'geek' and proud of it. After trying each sport it was clearly not for him and we eventually let him slide into the wonderful kid and then young man he has become. He did play in the band from fourth grade through his first year of college.

 

DD1 swims recreationally as well as a few other non-competitive sports. DD2 is our competitive child, competing in swimming and tris.

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Playing team sports is a vital part of a young person's development both in terms of physical fitness and coordination, but also in fostering an ease in navigating the cooperation-competition skills that are critical for life success in most professions.

I'm sure glad my kids played some team sports then. (I didn't make them do it; they wanted to.) I am already worried about their socialization because I homeschooled them. I wouldn't want to have to worry about their future professional success, too.  :lol:

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My oldest hates all sports. No interest in watching or playing them. He did try both soccer and baseball, but found that both were miserable for him. He does love hiking and kayaking, but we don't get the chance to do either frequently enough. I also think he'd like rock climbing as well, but when would we squeeze it in? 

My youngest has begged to play Little League softball for the past two years, and as much as I'd like her to have that opportunity, we just can't make it happen. It's a 3-4X/week commitment at one of our busiest times of the year. Logistically it just hasn't worked out. 

I feel a little guilt that my kids aren't involved in any athletics and therefore aren't going to be "well-rounded." There's only so much time and money for extracurriculars, and at this point we've opted for music lessons, dance, foreign language tutors and nature classes. Trying to add in a sport would mean giving up one (or most likely more than one) of the above, and the kids are both already heavily invested in their current activities. 

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My children are required to be in something at any given moment. For summer, just swimming for fun is good enough. I present them with a variety of options and they can try stuff out. At some point, it seems they get lazy and say they just don't want to do anything. I tell them that that is too bad, but it is required so they will anyway. 

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I guess my question is: Do you make your kids try a sport? If your kids enjoy a sport, how did they find their passion?

We tried a lot of things when dc were young. Both team and individual sports. Partly to find what they might like.and partly so they would be able toi shoot a basket or kick around a soccer ball if needed. They loved their teams and would still be playing now if there were any casual, few hours a week teams. If dc truly hated something, it was not pursued. For example, baseball -- too much sitting around.

 

Two exceptions. Football -- no, because of head injuries. Swimming-- yes, required, because I think every kid should know how to swim. Ds did not like it at first, but I insisted. Then he suddenly liked it and goot good at it.

 

Now that kids are older, I try to emphasize that they should do some aerobic activity, some strength and some flexibility. Both kids like cross country, track, and local swim team. We have weights etc at home, and we do yoga. Ds loves to bike, did a 50 miler with scouts. Also discovered rock climbing (mainly in gym) and archery. Dd loves to hike. We just joined a regional Girl Scout hiking/backpacking program. Dc also like horseback riding.

 

During the seasons they are on teams, lots and lots of exercise. Between seasons -- well, let''s just say I should set a better example, lol.

 

Some resources that have helped us are Boy Scout Personal Fitness merit badge book and, for youngers,, Cub Scout guidelines.

 

Oh, and we did the President's Physical Fitness program too. Fantastic Resource! Google: The President's Challenge. My dc loved earning medals and other awards.

 

ETA if your dc like scouting, it can be a good way to keep active and try new things, especially if they go to summer camp.

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When DD was small, she seemed timid and disliked any sort of team or contact sport.  I signed her up for swim lessons (a non-negotiable safety issue for me), gymnastics, and ballet.  When she was 9, she chose fencing...on her own.  4 years later, she spends hours every week getting poked, bruised, and (safely) stabbed - and loves it!  

 

Who knew?   :lol:

 

So, I believe trying a variety of sports and active hobbies when kids are young will help them pick an activity they love over time. 

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My oldest is a dancer and has been since 4 years old.  She did compete so got the "team" experience but never was interested in any other sports.  She was a cheerleader starting in high school. 

 

My son is definitely not a team sports kid.  He tried t-ball and soccer and it was very clear it was not his thing. 

 

Both little kids did gymnastics a few years ago.

 

Now they do bowling once a week, swimming lessons once a week (almost daily swimming in summer), Zumba twice a week, ice skating once a week and soon will be restarting fencing once a week.  They also ride bikes, sled and tube in winter, take walks and do occasional calisthenics. 

 

As long as they stay active and are having fun with it, I'm not worried about structured, team sports..

 

I will agree with the comment about kids who are very involved in a sport having to adjust when they are no longer as active.  My oldest has been struggling a little bit with adapting her eating to a greatly reduced activity level (she still dances a few times a week but not the hours at a time, 4 and 5 times a week she used to).  She's also found that it wasn't as easy to find activities when she was no longer in the outside imposed schedule of practices and classes.

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I required my kids to take swimming lessons.  We put the three younger ones in Upward Basketball every year.  My boys played a couple of seasons of baseball.  We steered them towards basketball because of several reasons:  We opt out of football due to injury risk.  Dh and I are both very, very tall so we knew our kids would be tall, as well.  Dh plays bball and has always enjoyed it.  He still plays rec ball.  He coached several of their Upward teams, and he is currently coaching my sons' middle school competitive team.  My little dd will play Upward Basketball this year.

 

Our decision process was really pretty easy regarding sports.  One son is probably a bit more baseball-leaning than basketball-leaning, but none of us have amazing sports ability or athletic giftings of any type.  We will never be more than recreational players.  My boys have gained so much from being on their team, including friendships.  When it came down to a choice between baseball and basketball with his brother, my younger ds opted to play basketball. 

 

If we did not do sports, we would need to pursue Boy Scouts or something.

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My dds are 7 and 3.

For  the ages they are, I put them in sports.  I wouldn't expect children that age to say they liked or didn't like a sport without trying it.

As teams or classes, we have done swimming, gymnastics, zumba for kids, t-ball, dance, tennis, golf, martial arts, and organized "gym time" with university students studying to be gym teachers.

As a family, we have done hiking, geocaching, biking, canoeing, and playing in the yard (croquet, bocce, throwing a ball around, etc).

Some have been hits, and some have been misses, but my expectation is that each girl gives it "a fair try" equivalent to the duration of the season or class.

I come from a long line of short, round, German women.  My hope is that by the time each of my girls reaches age 18, she will have at least one healthy activity that she does regularly, and a long list of athletic activities with which she is comfortable.  If someone knocks on her dorm room door inviting her to play tennis, I'd like her to say, "Just a minute; I'll get my racquet!"  If someone plans an outing to the lake, she will have the skills to attempt waterskiing.  If there is a golf outing for work, she will know the difference between a driver and a putter.

She doesn't have to be the star of the team; she doesn't have to adore the sport; but it can be handy to have a basic knowledge of the sport.

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Cafdog says:

So, I believe trying a variety of sports and active hobbies when kids are young will help them pick an activity they love over time.

  

This.  :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: So true.

 

And some stuff will stick; and some stuff won't.  You can't predict that until they try it.

 

One of our  family's mantras is, "It is good to try new things."

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What an overwhelming amount of responses to my post, thank you!

 

My goal is definitely lifelong healthy habits, it's not about winning scholarships or an Olympic gold medal. What I take away from your experiences is mostly that this habit can be created by lots of family outings, no need for an excessive amount of scheduled organized sports.

 

The kids are in swim lessons because it is an important life skill. They are already great swimmers, but need a lot more endurance. I come from a family of water enthusiasts, so we are often found on a boat during our vacation trips. Maybe I do have to take them swimming more often though. We have a town hall pool, but the hours for open swim are very inconvenient. Plus, my kids go to PS, so there is usually not much time left in the day.

 

When we took the kids to an adventure park with ziplining and climbing, they absolutely loved it. This was in Germany though and they are just not tall enough to meet the requirements for that in the US. It is about an hour drive from us too, as is any rock climbing place.

When we do go somewhere like this, I do not sit by the sidelines. I participate whenever possible.

 

I guess I posted my question because I feel that what we do is not quite enough. The kids have been doing sports since they were little, sometimes multiple different activities at once. Last year they just stopped. They did not want to keep doing gymnastics anymore (team or rec), I struggled to drive my oldest back and forth to marching band, and we had quite a few extra bills that winter, so initially it was a blessing in disguise to take a break. Now however, every time one of my DSs said they wanted to do a sport, come sign up time and I get a response that resembles a temper tantrum and complete melt down. I just don't get it...

 

:confused1:

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