bolt. Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 For the second year in a row, I'm ignoring their Christmas wish lists in favor of buying lovely things for them that actually exist. And they spent all that time on well-written and perfectly spelled lists! Unless someone can find The Lego Movie 2, the corresponding video game, Avenger My Little Pony crossover toys, or a device that completely flattens and eliminates creases and folds out of sheets of paper. Bah humbug. The "device that completely flattens and eliminates creases and folds out of sheets of paper" is called an iron. That's an easy one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 A friend of mine truly won the award. When her kid was little she put on her boot and said it was uncomfortable and something was in it. Mom said deal with it, it's just a drive to school. So kid kept the boot on and smoothed around the bump in her boot. At school teacher emptied out the boot and found a dead smoothed mouse and kids sock had mouse blood on it. :scared: :ack2: :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 A friend of mine truly won the award. When her kid was little she put on her boot and said it was uncomfortable and something was in it. Mom said deal with it, it's just a drive to school. So kid kept the boot on and smoothed around the bump in her boot. At school teacher emptied out the boot and found a dead smoothed mouse and kids sock had mouse blood on it. Ding, ding, ding!! Winner!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 A friend of mine truly won the award. When her kid was little she put on her boot and said it was uncomfortable and something was in it. Mom said deal with it, it's just a drive to school. So kid kept the boot on and smoothed around the bump in her boot. At school teacher emptied out the boot and found a dead smoothed mouse and kids sock had mouse blood on it. Ewww. Last April Fools Day, DS5 was in the pediatric ER with a respiratory infection. There was another child in the ER with a bite on his foot after someone put either a mouse or rat (can't remember) in his shoe as an April Fools prank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 The "device that completely flattens and eliminates creases and folds out of sheets of paper" is called an iron. That's an easy one! You should have seen him wielding the hot glue gun earlier. He's about 32 years from being trusted with an iron! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 The second day of freezing weather, I had to take my 13 yr old out in shorts and a t-shirt to get him pants. LOL..do I win? He grew a lot this summer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabet1 Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 A friend of mine truly won the award. When her kid was little she put on her boot and said it was uncomfortable and something was in it. Mom said deal with it, it's just a drive to school. So kid kept the boot on and smoothed around the bump in her boot. At school teacher emptied out the boot and found a dead smoothed mouse and kids sock had mouse blood on it. Yeah..this one definitely wins! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 I'm a horrible mom. After my daughter snuck around behind my back repeatedly watching shows and getting on the internet while she was (unjustifiably of course) grounded from all electronics, thus proving herself untrustworthy, I'm heartless and cruel enough to... not trust her. And if that wasn't bad enough, I refused to even have a long drawn out argument about it and we all know that 13 year olds survive on arguments. It's like air to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 Would that be the manipulative darling or the smart but scattered? That would be the manipulative darling. Bless her heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 :scared: :ack2: :eek: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 Hm. Today was Brotherman's 11th birthday. Yesterday I took him to a play he requested to see. Today he had a free day with no school or chores and no restrictions on play or screen time. He had bean burritos for breakfast, ice cream for lunch, and meatballs with gravy and noodles for dinner followed by more ice cream, all his requests. His father brought home the book he has been asking for as his official present. BUT. Babyman got a gift card for his birthday 2 months ago that dh forgot about and just gave me last week. I ordered him some Play-doh and Curious George books. They arrived today. On Brotherman's birthday. SO UNFAIR. :glare: (I am reasonably sure he wasn't really mad, just being dramatic.) That definitely doesn't measure up to the mouse in the shoe, though. :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 You poor thing! I am so glad that my kids are past the age of embarrassing bumps and overly simplified candor when asked by others about said bumps. "Mommy did it" just a sounds bad when explaining the bump on the head after they ran into ME and bounced into the wall. Though I still reserve the right to hold a tiny grudge over being yelled at (years ago) by my MIL when I yelled an exasperated warning to my niece after she danced into the kitchen with slippery, breakable dirty dishes and careened into me as I was handling wet, sharp knives. I was given the horrible auntie award for that. I had to have a conversation over the summer with DD about how she couldn't explain away a huge bruise on her hip with just "My mom did it" without following up with the "while we were sparring in taekwondo" part. 13 yo mentioned his shoes were tight. They were only 2 1/2 mo old so I put him off. I finally had a coupon so took him. Yep, two and a half sizes too small. Oops. I got my 11 yo a coat at a local thrift store. She doesn't like the color but now that it's 10 degrees outside it is looking better. I can let you off the hook for this one. I sold shoes at JcPenney for over 2 years. You wouldn't believe how many teenage boys came in with shoes that much too small. The bad parent award went to the parents that argued that little Johnny couldn't have gone from a size 6 to a size 9.5 in just a couple of months and then insisted on buying something more reasonable like a size 8 even when Johnny was sitting there trying on the shoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 OMG. MOUSE IN SHOE. Wow. Once as a kid I found a mouse in the laundry... as I was moving it into the dryer... I thought it was a sock... but this tops anything. From now on, that's going to me my go-to line. "Yeah, whatever, so you STARVED TO DEATH, at least I didn't make you go to school with a mouse in your shoe!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 I broke my 1-year-old's heart yesterday because I wouldn't let her hurtle down the stairs at our new house. She took off toward them laughing and I barely managed to snag her by the back of her turtleneck. Instant giant tears came pouring out that were obviously because I ruined her fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 A friend of mine truly won the award. When her kid was little she put on her boot and said it was uncomfortable and something was in it. Mom said deal with it, it's just a drive to school. So kid kept the boot on and smoothed around the bump in her boot. At school teacher emptied out the boot and found a dead smoothed mouse and kids sock had mouse blood on it. I sent my daughter's science project to school with a dead rat in it (freshly dead, deposited by the cat in the wee hours of the morning). Also, today, I made my kids clean toilets and vacuum because they wouldn't do their homework. From now on, that's it. You train for the information economy or you train for the job you'll get otherwise. And you'll do that twice as long because those jobs pay half what is required to survive. I AM THE MEANEST MOM EVER. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 well, no one from child protection has turned up at my house today, so I may have got away with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 well, no one from child protection has turned up at my house today, so I may have got away with it. That's good. Apparently I should let ds5 eat in bed every night after he didn't finish his tea. He knows when to push my buttons. I spend all this time doing nice bed time then he picks a fight with me and gets us all wound up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 My kids have to run to the bus stop most mornings because I don't wake up until ~20 minutes before the bus arrives. They do have an alarm clock, but that is beside the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 Shoes. I can't count how many times I saw them walking funny and realized that they had outgrown their shoes. One time the kid had gone up by two whole sizes before I realized it. Thankfully now mine have pretty much stopped growing, so it is more of a "those shoes look like they're falling apart" issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 I sent my daughter's science project to school with a dead rat in it (freshly dead, deposited by the cat in the wee hours of the morning). Also, today, I made my kids clean toilets and vacuum because they wouldn't do their homework. From now on, that's it. You train for the information economy or you train for the job you'll get otherwise. And you'll do that twice as long because those jobs pay half what is required to survive. I AM THE MEANEST MOM EVER. Yes, I love this plan (chores, not rat)! Thank you for exactly the argument I should give, too, when they object! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 This morning as I was cooking Cream of Wheat for my kids' breakfast I noticed the little volcano shapes forming in the thickening cereal and pointed it out to DD10. Then it occurred to me, those are venting just gas, no lava, and so I asked her, "Or do you think it's farting, and not volcanoes?" :w00t: Score one for Mom for surprising the kid and putting her off her breakfast! Edited to add: I just further grossed out DD10, and got DD13, by pointing out that adding brown sugar to the top makes it look messier! Bwahahahahahahahaha! Amazingly, they are still eating! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Ha! I have started to just reply with it, neutrally "because I am the meanest mom in the world" or "I am the Baddest Person Ever" I have been having fun coming up with different ways to express it :lol: I used to tell my son that I wore the "Meanest Mom in the World" crown proudly. After a while, when he started to complain about a ruling I made, I would mime reaching for my crown and carefully setting it on my head, then waving like a beauty queen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Um, my newly 4 year old found a calendar about barns at Barnes & Noble and loudly proclaimed it was the Walking Dead one. Don't ask how she would make that connection. But she prefers Rick over Daryl. Heathen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 I made DS write FIVE WHOLE WORDS in his handwriting book this morning. And two of them had a lowercase g! And he wasn't even allowed to do math first (because math was playing with unit blocks and a whiteboard on the floor). Is that even legal?? Never mind that we'll be at the park two hours before the PS lets out.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papillon Mom Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Oh people, I'm afraid you are amateurs! I forgot to replace dd's tooth with a coin from the tooth fairy for 3 days straight! Not only that but she sweetly reminded me each morning that I had forgotten. On the 3rd day, as I was getting mad at her for not getting up she tearfully said... "But mom, I'm waiting for you to do the tooth fairy!" Yep, jerk mom of the universe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 I used to tell my son that I wore the "Meanest Mom in the World" crown proudly. After a while, when he started to complain about a ruling I made, I would mime reaching for my crown and carefully setting it on my head, then waving like a beauty queen. My mother used to boast about her summa cum laude diploma from Mean Mother University. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted December 4, 2014 Share Posted December 4, 2014 Oh people, I'm afraid you are amateurs! I forgot to replace dd's tooth with a coin from the tooth fairy for 3 days straight! Not only that but she sweetly reminded me each morning that I had forgotten. On the 3rd day, as I was getting mad at her for not getting up she tearfully said... "But mom, I'm waiting for you to do the tooth fairy!" Yep, jerk mom of the universe. I've had that happen before where I just couldn't remember for the life of me except mine didn't know about the tooth fairy. In the end we decided that the tooth must have just been too dirty and he had to brush it one last time and try again. Luckily I remembered that night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 Oh people, I'm afraid you are amateurs! I forgot to replace dd's tooth with a coin from the tooth fairy for 3 days straight! Not only that but she sweetly reminded me each morning that I had forgotten. On the 3rd day, as I was getting mad at her for not getting up she tearfully said... "But mom, I'm waiting for you to do the tooth fairy!" Yep, jerk mom of the universe. You just reminded me to do the Elf on the Shelf. THANK YOU. I also forget the tooth fairy. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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