Difficulty with the Counselor Letter

[bugs]

Holy moly, the counselor's letter is difficult for me!  Believe me when I say I think my daughter will be a great student and asset to any college she's matched with.  I am just not the kind of mom who goes around writing how awesome she is (and yes, she is). I do not go on FB and rattle on about my daughter's virtues for the world to read; I don't pass along "If you have the most awesome daughter...blah, blah, blah... pass this on".  I am happy when other's see her for the person she is. I guess now, I wish I was one of those mom's because then I would be practiced.

 

Yes, I do know the letter isn't about adjectives, but about examples. I am just venting. Thank you for reading.

[regentrude]

I can sympathize, it is a bit awkward.

What helped me was to think about what I would write in a recommendation letter for another student who is not my child, and to consciously realize that my kid's letter should not be any less enthusiastic and positive than the letters I write for my students.

[G5052]

I agree with regentrude, just pretend that you aren't the mother, and write it like someone who knows this student in a professional capacity. 

[bugs]

Thanks Regentrude & G5052. That helps with perspective.

[Kareni]

I also found writing the counselor letter to be a challenge.

 

The approach I took was to compile a list of various character traits. I asked my husband to look it over and decide which characteristics best described our daughter. I did the same myself. Once I had that list of traits, I tried to think of anecdotes and experiences from my daughter's life that showed them. That was the basis of my counselor letter. Some of the traits I ended up ignoring simply because the letter was getting too long.

I also included one negative feature in the letter. I thought this was important in terms of balance. But I also tried to give it a positive spin.

 

If you'd care to see the list of character traits I compiled, send me a personal message with your email address, and I'll send it along.

Good luck with your writing!

Regards,
Kareni

[angela in ohio]

I didn't write about how awesome dd is. I made sure other people did that for her letters of recommendation. Then I wrote about her verifiable strengths and her weaknesses in my counselor letter. I also didn't write it as a counselor, but as a mother.
 
Here's the intro, which sums up what I wrote about:
 
"I am writing this letter on behalf of <full name>, my daughter and homeschool student. I understand how difficult it might be to evaluate homeschool applicants. I can’t pretend that I am not a mother writing a recommendation about my own child, or that our homeschool looks anything like a typical school. I will try to be as unbiased as possible, though, because my primary concern is that <name> attends a college that is the right fit for her, a college where she will succeed. I have tried to think of conversations about <name> with teachers, mentors, and others as I describe her strengths. I will also relate some of the challenges she has faced. Finally, I will sum up the reasons I believe she is ready to succeed in a college environment."

 

Then I went on to list three overall positive character qualities that would lead to likely success in college, with examples from elsewhere on her application that would illustrate each, and two weaknesses/challenges she has overcome.

[bugs]

Angela, I love your introduction. Do you mind if I use a tailored version?

[Lynn in Caribbean]

Here's an article about writing the counselor letter:

 

http://www.aiminghigherconsultants.com/the-counselor-letter/

 

Mine is done and submitted - I am too scared to look back at it again.  It took me weeks of writing and rewriting.  I still wonder if admissions people roll their eyes when they read counselor letters written by mom...probably they do. But I did the best I could to sound positive, yet balanced and professional.

[EKS]

I had major problems with the counselor letter. It was complicated by the fact that I had to explain an irregularity in my son's record along with the rest of it. I ended up settling on a unifying theme that actually worked for both issues, the irregularity and talking about who he is as a person and a student, and telling his story from that angle.

 

Of course, I don't know if he's actually gotten into any colleges yet, so I don't know if it worked.

[Tsuga]

Holy moly, the counselor's letter is difficult for me!  Believe me when I say I think my daughter will be a great student and asset to any college she's matched with.  I am just not the kind of mom who goes around writing how awesome she is (and yes, she is). I do not go on FB and rattle on about my daughter's virtues for the world to read; I don't pass along "If you have the most awesome daughter...blah, blah, blah... pass this on".  I am happy when other's see her for the person she is. I guess now, I wish I was one of those mom's because then I would be practiced.

 

Yes, I do know the letter isn't about adjectives, but about examples. I am just venting. Thank you for reading.

 

I screwed myself over scholarship-wise having been raised not to talk about hardship or achievement but to instead just be grateful.

 

Try to write the essay you think your daughter should write--like if she were writing it, what would you tell her to say?

 

Then I think the intro about being a homeschooling mom, by angela in ohio, is great. That is a hard letter to write!

[Kareni]

Here's an article about writing the counselor letter:

 

http://www.aiminghigherconsultants.com/the-counselor-letter/

 

 

Nice article!  Thanks for sharing it.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Juliegmom]

Just following along in case I find myself in this same situation. Once again, you all are offering some great suggestions!

[Jenny in Florida]

For what it's worth, I didn't really wrestle with the homeschool/mom issue in my son's letter. I just put it out there and then did my best to make the tone of my letter sound "professional" enough to mitigate any concerns an admissions committee might have about a mom-type lack of objectivity. As regentrude said, I wanted to make sure that my son had a counselor recommendation that was worthy of him, the kind that a counselor who really knew and appreciated him would write, even if that counselor didn't happen to be biologically linked. He deserved that.

 

In case it would be helpful, here are my opening paragraphs:

 

"It is a pleasure to write in support of my son Applicant’s college application. As a homeschooling parent, I’ve looked forward for many years to the time when my son would be ready to launch into the next phase of his education, and it is exciting to be at that moment now and to have this chance to introduce my son to you.

 

"Applicant has always had big ideas, big dreams, a big personality and a gift for carrying others along in his enthusiasms. He loves a challenge and is always looking forward to the next project. He rarely fails to be noticed in a crowd. Since everything he does draws attention, including his mistakes, he’s learned to accept criticism graciously and to apply corrections thoughtfully. This combination of charisma, maturity and poise has served him well in all areas of his life and has helped him shine in everything from youth and community theatre to productions with our local professional ballet and opera companies."

[bugs]

Jenny, thank you so much for sharing!

 

[EKS]

Similar to Jenny in Florida, I didn't have a problem with the homeschool parent aspect of the counselor letter.  I mentioned that he was my son in the first sentence and that he graduated from our homeschool in June 2014 in the second sentence.  I then went on to write from the homeschool parent perspective, which by definition is a mix of knowing him as both a parent and teacher.