fruitofthewomb Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 We sold something big & other than our house we have no debt (some savings though not enough I am sure). We don't want to go into debt so we choose to pay cash. Our house is sparsely decorated & my wardrobe is nonexistent. But the cost of everything sends my head spinning! How do people afford new things?! I think I have Pinterest envy. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 I buy ninety percent of my furnishings and wardrobe from thrift stores. I get to wear high end labels and have nice furniture and it costs less than shopping at Walmart. Win-win. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 A lot of times, people "afford" new things because they don't mind being in debt. You've made it a priority not to be in debt. That's a good thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Not everyone who has nice clothes and household items can actually afford them. And others choose to work at higher paying jobs to afford those things while giving up other things I'd value over stuff, such as, time with family, happiness at my job. Then there are people who can afford it and don't give up the things I value more. I just try not sure to focus on what others have and instead focus on why I've chosen the things I have over the things I am missing in the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerico Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 We don't really buy new things. Good thing I do not care about decorating ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 I don't buy new stuff either (other than kid stuff). I keep stuff forever (assuming it remains useful), accept hand-me-downs, buy used, and adopt a "less is more" attitude. I try to be careful with stuff and hopefully teach my kids to do likewise. All the furniture I've bought (for my kids) was bought online for the most reasonable prices I could find. I did buy new because I was afraid to trust "gently used" online (particularly for stuff that had been in kids' bedrooms). There have been rare instances when I've found that perfect thing for my home during a random shopping trip. Usually it turns out to be inexpensive; if so, I don't mind buying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 I'm with Mergath. We are vicious clearance sale shoppers, and have a couple of thrift stores in the city where high end, nice stuff is available at deep discount. I like to sew, and often make quilts for the beds, and curtains and throw pillows for the house, tablecloths and table runners, etc. I wait until it supplies go on a steep sale, watch places like www.fashionfabrics.com, and such, and then get creative. When we need to do something like buy a new couch, we save and then pay cash. So, we do have some really nice things around here, and maybe to others it appears that we live "high", but the reality is that this is not the case nor do we exceed our means. Due to this, I don't automatically assume that people who have nice things are either swimming in debt, making poor choices, or exhibiting poor priorities. It's important not to get caught up in that kind of thought process. My parents were the same way...they saved for new items, and mom sewed up a storm. Dad was able to do all of our home repairs, and even put a huge addition on the house that would have otherwise cost them a bundle, but without paying labor, it was very affordable. My big splurge is my hair. The accident took a toll on my head and though I was not sporting any grey or white hairs at the time, it started coming in rather rapidly apparently due to the stress on my body. I haven't been ready to embrace that yet and pay for professional color and cuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 We sold something big & other than our house we have no debt (some savings though not enough I am sure). We don't want to go into debt so we choose to pay cash. Our house is sparsely decorated & my wardrobe is nonexistent. But the cost of everything sends my head spinning! How do people afford new things?! I think I have Pinterest envy. Sigh. I'm hearing you... It's frustrating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 I buy ninety percent of my furnishings and wardrobe from thrift stores. I get to wear high end labels and have nice furniture and it costs less than shopping at Walmart. Win-win. ;) Yes, AND there is no packaging trash, and no resources were expended to produce a new "thing." That is a win that speaks to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SemiSweet Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Ugh, Pinterest is the devil. We have no debt other than our car and decent bit of savings. We pay cash for everything, so if we don't have it, we don't get it. I really need to learn to be more frugal though. ETA: I buy TONS of stuff used. I got a used handmade farmhouse dining table recently for about 1/3 (or less) the cost of new. Our local Facebook pages have tons of for sale stuff, and because my local area is very transient, there are some great deals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Quill, don't start me on packaging. I could rant all day. I am soooooo tired of the waste involved in packaging! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 My furniture comes mainly from Ikea's closeout sale. We have no beds. My hubby likes clothes shopping so he looks through clearance for me. E.g. he found a few tshirt knee length dresses for $4 at Forever21. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 I work outside the home to pay for my pretties. I do have things that I think are nice, because I work my butt off to earn the money to pay for them. I work in pharmacy 3-4 days a week. There are a few benefits to me to do this. I get adult, intellectual conversation. My friends tend to talk about family/relationships and quality of life issues. It is very nice to have people to discuss other topics with. I get to use my brain, problem solving in real world ways. I get to help people. I fund my own retirement by putting away 20% of my pay, separate from dh's retirement. I could have medical benefits if I needed/wanted, but dhs are better so we take those instead. I won't have the issue of trying to find employment once the kids are gone from home. I work to pay private school tuition, presents, holiday items and whatever pretties I want. I keep a couple thousand in my own savings, but aside from that, I only work enough to support my current spending habits/ tuition needs. Since Christmas is coming, I am working over 30 hours a week right now, once that passes, I usually go back down to 20 hours, so I have more time with family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruitofthewomb Posted November 6, 2014 Author Share Posted November 6, 2014 99% of the time I am content with what I have. All our stuff is used but nice. But from time to time I wish I had the $$ to buy new things that are exactly what I want. I never really finished my thought-we sold something big & DH gave me some cash to buy some new clothes & we also decided to buy a few things for the house. But when I started pricing things I was so disappointed that the money wouldn't buy everything I ever dreamed of lol ;) I am glad that we are mostly debt free & wouldn't change it. I just sometimes wonder how it would be to have a decked out closet & house. I am over it now though. Choosing to be thankful for all that I have. Honestly-the people I know who do have Pinterest worthy houses aren't super happy people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Not everyone who buys new clothes or matching furniture is unhappy. They are not all in miserable marriages, and the kids do not all hate their parents. Most of those families do not have a single member with a drug addiction. Some of them give generously to charity, organized and otherwise, and not all of them have credit card debt. Also, some of those houses are or pretty close to being paid for. And as disturbing as it may seem, some of the families even do a lot to support local small businesses--the kids' sports teams, the upholsterer, the trainer at the gym, the lawn guy, the bike shop, the piano/art/writing teacher, the pizza restaurant. I know--mind boggling! OP, I know this wasn't your point, but these threads about high prices and the moral superiority of frugal living have a way of turning into a lot of generalization and speculation about people and things we really know nothing about. I hope you get some awesome new clothes and some lovely things for your home and are able to enjoy them without feeling one teeny tiny bit guilty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 Not everyone who buys new clothes or matching furniture is unhappy. They are not all in miserable marriages, and the kids do not all hate their parents. Most of those families do not have a single member with a drug addiction. Some of them give generously to charity, organized and otherwise, and not all of them have credit card debt. Also, some of those houses are or pretty close to being paid for. And as disturbing as it may seem, some of the families even do a lot to support local small businesses--the kids' sports teams, the upholsterer, the trainer at the gym, the lawn guy, the bike shop, the piano/art/writing teacher, the pizza restaurant. I know--mind boggling! OP, I know this wasn't your point, but these threads about high prices and the moral superiority of frugal living have a way of turning into a lot of generalization and speculation about people and things we really know nothing about. I hope you get some awesome new clothes and some lovely things for your home and are able to enjoy them without feeling one teeny tiny bit guilty. Yes! Yes! Yes! I do a mix of new and used, of splurges and doing without. So much depends on our own personal value system. We have thousands of money sunk into books but not so much into other things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 I get it, and it's not even the new stuff envy. It's the gap between the cost of the item that would best work for our situation and what we can actually afford. And then I spend a lot of time grumbling and hating it. I have kitchen pantry envy. All these beautiful pantries on Pinterest, and I didn't even have one. Sick and tired of not having a pantry, which meant Costco boxes piled on the floor and standing on the counter just to get stuff out for dinner, I bought one of the $100 ones from Lowe's and stuck it in the kitchen corner. I hate it. It's too small. It's an eyesore. The kids ripped the freaking door off. Now it's a bigger eyesore, and that's $100 I don't have now when it comes time to renovate this kitchen into something I can use without getting angry. Money sunk into things that suck drives me nuts. Don't get me started on the fridge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I get it. We spent years getting out of debt, now we only have the mortgage and a small truck payment. I steer clear of magazines, websites and other things that foster discontent in my heart. In general, I am happy with what I have. We just did a kitchen remodel, 13 years in the making with cabinets that were going to be thrown out from a house dh worked at and a gorgeous porcelain sink he scrounged thats been sitting in my shed for 6 years!. We spent $ on a new stove hood, some lumber for customizing a couple of them and paint. It's bright and cheery and clean and now there is room for everything! Dh is a handyman so he did all the work himself after work for a couple of weeks. I would love some new clothes, it's been years since I've bought anything for me except a new pair of yoga pants and a pack of Hanes underwear. But it's not going to happen and I am ok with that too. I really only love jeans and boots anyway but some pretty shirts would be nice. But when I ever do have money, I can never find anything I like! We are really blessed with hand me downs with youngest and both my kids prefer thrift stores to retail because they are both frugal and quirky in their style of dress. Our furniture is old and comfy and I use couch covers to keep it clean because they are pretty and I can throw them in the wash. My favorite chair is a running joke as it is so old and decrepit, but it suits me and I love it. My Mom just bought me 4 huge Yankee Candle jars, my very favorite home accessory. Something I adore and never buy for myself. My Apple Cider one is cheerily flickering away and making my house smell wonderful as I write. When I think about having money, something I rarely do, for me it means potential, not so much actually buying something, but the ability to do so. Actually going out shopping is something I am not fond of in the slightest, unless it's for new books or electronics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalmia Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 For those who don't shop regularly, I think the shock of seeing how much prices have risen in the past few years is horrifying. And while many wonderful things can be acquired secondhand, that doesn't negate the feeling that a great deal of money would be required to obtain them new as compared to just five years ago. When I go searching for clothes (knowing that cotton prices skyrocketed a few years back) and find adult jeans on "sale" for $35, I know I can get some at the thrift shop for less, but at the same time I can't help thinking that if my husband and I each needed four new pairs that would be $280. Around $300 after sales tax, and that's just the pants! In my mind, I start adding up all the little necessities that need to be replaced fairly often (bras, socks, etc.) that cost far more than the last time I bought them, and I realize the totals would really not be manageable for a family that is making a reasonable salary of $50,000 when you think about the increases in housing costs, electricity, etc. It is a sobering thought as we all plan for the future. If consumer goods can jump markedly in price over a mere five year span, what kind of retirement savings will we need to have in place when we are in our 70s and a pair of pants is on "sale" for $100? All right, ladies, stockpile bras now while they are a "cheap" $38 apiece! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalmia Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I find with Dh he has a set price in mind for some things that no matter what. He could never have seen that price for years and still that is the price he has in mind. I like chips. He feels that paying over 1.50 for a large bag of high quality chips is not worth it. He will buy cookies from the bakery that work out to being 50+ cents a cookie just because the kids asked for them. But a bag of chips for 2 dollars. According to him is to expensive. he never says this but I imagine him saying, "That's highway robbery". For some reason he seems to only look at the price of some things. Chips being one of them. My DH is exactly the same, Julie Smith. While I track the prices and am merely horrified, he just can't accept the prices at all. Most of his price references are from the 1990s. I really should make him go out and do the shopping more often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I grew up with a mother who spent way too much. I learned how to be very frugal. it's not what you buy, it's how much you spend. (and people often spend way too many pennies - 'cause hey, it's "just" a penny. well, pennies add up.) when my kids were younger - I did lots of shopping at thrift stores and consignment stores. I also bought used from want ads. now, we have a very active craigslist community - and I take advantage of that. (love craigslist.) the last four cars we bought were used. we're done buying new, even though I had a heck of a deal on our last new car. (why should I pay for the priviledge of driving it off the lot?) for dd's house, I found someone who was selling the entire contents of a higher end rental two-bedroom condo (including dishes, bedding, artwork - and the three major appliances she needed!) all in one go. even with stuff she doesn't want - she got a heck of a deal, saving even from buying the items used piece meal. (she had the cash - her only debt is her house). there were a few other things she needed, and those were usually also purchased from craigslist or a discounter. amy dacyczyn's tightwad gazette (it's pronounced decision.) is filled with money saving ideas. (and reading about her, she has amazing ways of saving money paid cash for NEW cars. lived comfortably with six kids on an average salary). there is a tightwad gazette blogspot - with links to coupons and free subscriptions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 amy dacyczyn's tightwad gazette (it's pronounced decision.) is filled with money saving ideas. (and reading about her, she has amazing ways of saving money paid cash for NEW cars. lived comfortably with six kids on an average salary). there is a tightwad gazette blogspot - with links to coupons and free subscriptions. The site looks helpful, but it's not affiliated with Amy Dacyzyn or the original Tightwad Gazette newsletter or books (which can be very helpful and are worth finding in the library). There is a disclaimer to that effect on the blog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 The site looks helpful, but it's not affiliated with Amy Dacyzyn or the original Tightwad Gazette newsletter or books (which can be very helpful and are worth finding in the library). There is a disclaimer to that effect on the blog. I tried to put in the link to her book - it apparentlly didn't overwrite. I'll go back and fix it. link is fixed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Ugh, Pinterest is the devil. I've been there to try and get ideas on how to refinish dd's bathroom cabinets. it is a very annoying site. it blocks you from seeing anything unless you're signed in - and then if you "pin" something, it shows what is basically an ad before you can go back to the page you were on. frankly - I don't see why it's so popular. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 What nice things do others have? What's their income? What's their savings? What's their debt level? Do you shop when things are on sale? Will you buy from a thrift shop? Will you take free things? Do you go to yard sales? I've been married and out of my parents' house for 22 years. It's taken all that time to get my house not looking sparse. I get books at the library sale. I used to go every single weekend to yard sales and get things I needed. I was careful not to get extra things. Only stuff I *knew* I would use and love. People have offered to give me big items and I've accepted. This is important. I have friends who have nothing and struggle to get by and they refuse to take from others. It's a matter of personal pride for them, but if they accepted the help, they would be blessed for it. They refuse the help and then wonder why they struggle. We offered them a car, once, that was in great condition and they refused it. I really don't understand why not. We gave it away to a charity instead. Why wouldn't they take it? It worked fine and the husband is a mechanic (even if it didn't work fine, but it did) and they needed a car. People are strange. I'm willing to buy used, I buy new when it's on sale. I check out the discount rack at WalMart each week. Sometimes I get something, mostly I don't, but I check. I've accepted gifts when offered (my MIL paid for my kitchen to have a new floor. Very generous.) I have low expectations--meaning I don't require name brand or top of the line. I'm willing to wear things out and use them up. It's all a big mix around here. I try to buy only what I LOVE. If I don't, then I'll just end up wanting to replace it. For example, I have some nice shower curtains, one from the Dollar Store and one a cast off from my MIL. They don't sound nice, but they're just lovely. Sometimes I get the itch to buy new ones when I see them, but since I love the ones I have I've never given in to the temptation to replace them. The ones I have are 10 years old and still lovely. The point is, buy what you love so you don't have to replace it later. Also, some people will have a nice house, but never spend money on a vacation. Some people go out to eat each week, but only buy clothes from a thrift store. Sometimes you only see where they're spending and not where they're saving. And some people try to have it all and go into deep debt (my SIL.) How long have you had a home? Maybe you just need time to pass. Like I said, it's taken 22 years to get to the point where I no longer need things for the house. I stopped going to the yard sales about 2 years ago when I realized that I have everything I want/need to make my house look full and not sparse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 you balance what you need against what you can afford. We replaced a bed yesterday. Twenty years old with a busted frame that DH kept cobbling back totether. But all the kids will be home for the holidays and there wouldn't be enough beds to go around if we didn't do something. Spent more than I wanted but less than DH had planned. Hopefully another twenty yard before I have to buy another one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frances Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I buy ninety percent of my furnishings and wardrobe from thrift stores. I get to wear high end labels and have nice furniture and it costs less than shopping at Walmart. Win-win. ;) And since most of the clothes have been worn and laundered you know exactly how they will fit and you can shop for hundreds of different brands in one place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 We don't afford things. We buy used, thrift, refurbished, free cycle or whatever. And since dh is still unemployed we just do without. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monstermama Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 We're lucky to have an awesome thrift store nearby where we currently live. It's clean, it has things organized by size and type, and it's pretty cheap. I buy 95% of our clothes there, and I'm usually able to find great brands (Gymboree, Janie & Jack, Gap). I do insist on new underwear and socks, though :) Where we used to live, though, all the thrift stores were messes and full of stained cheap brands that already had most of the life worn out of them, so many times we had to buy new. We spend a lot less on clothing now and get better quality, but it's because of our geographic area and not any skill on my part! For more durable goods, we save and buy the best we can. According to my MIL, we spent a ridiculous amount of money on our sofa. But, we saved for a long time and went without one completely for 6 months after our move. She's been through three (uncomfortable, hard to clean) sofas in the same amount of time we've had this one, and is probably getting close to having spent the same amount. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 Just wanted to add that sometimes the remedy for me if I'm feeling dissatisfied is to make something new. Somehow making something seems to fulfill a part of you that wants to buy a pile of new things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 I get hand me downs, freecycle, shop thrift shops, consignment, save and buy on sale, get gift cards for xmas gifts (my folks usually give me a gift card every xmas to shop for new clothes at the plus sized store. THat is when I get a couple really nice pieces for my wardrobe (boxing day shopping with huge deals, and she watches the kids for me to go). We have fully furnished home and decent wardrobes but I seldom have ever bought anything new, and when I have it has been on sale. I also spend cash only, my credit was ruined years ago so no credit cards for me. If you don't have the money to spend on something then you need to put the time in kwim, nothing is truly free, either it is cash or time but something goes into making something work to your own tastes when you can't or won't simply go out and buy it new. I actually prefer the things that have been refurbished, mended etc to suit someone's personal tastes over something brand new but commercial kwim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 My Pinterest feed has a lot of content about minimalism, living simply, etc. It helps keep things in perspective and remind me what I truly value. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 I have low expectations--meaning I don't require name brand or top of the line. I'm willing to wear things out and use them up. It's all a big mix around here.. the whole saying is: wear it out, use it up, make it do, or do without. I also don't buy something unless I love it (and even then, do I want to dust it? where will I put it? will I kick myself in five years for having bought it?). I've found 'settling' - is just that, and I was never satisfied. - and you end up spending more money, because you bought the thing you didn't actually like, then you go buy something to replace that - but it's too expensive, so you settle again . . .etc. doing that costs more. another issue I'm aware of ('cause I have a realitve who is a shopaholic) - is when spending is 'retail therapy', iow: trying to fulfill a need no amount of money/spending can ever fill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 Some people are super-crafty and can refurbish cheaply acquired "trash" into something that looks like it was bought for $$$$$ at some cutesy boutique. I wish that I had the fine motor skills and artistic talent to do that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 I ask similar questions. I see pictures of friends on vacations. We never take vacations unless you count visiting family a few hours away as a vacation. But I mean we have not gone to Disney World, etc. and then I see pictures of families at out-of-state amusement parks and ask how they afford it. We think they must put a lot on the credit card? I just don't get it. Maybe family helps them pay for it. I have no idea. But we have student loan debt and I don't think they do (they did not go to college or did not stay long-term). One of my high school friends recently splurged on a big trip to Florida where they spent 2 weeks seeing all the various theme parks. I was wondering to myself how she could afford that since she and her husband are both civil servants and don't make all that much. Later on, she told me that she had inherited some money from her grandma and chose to use it for a vacation. Her money, her choice how to spend it, but that's not what we chose to do with money I inherited from relatives who passed. The first one we used as a down payment for our car so that we only needed a 2 year loan rather than a longer one (we had hoped to save up enough to pay cash but our old clunker failed its smog test and it made no sense to pour $$$ into trying to get it to pass). The second one we used to replace the HVAC system in our house when our furnace died. Yeah, we're boring like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 I don't think I've ever bought anything new that was not on clearance at Ikea. Maybe some picture frames to re-photo our blended family abode with pictures of all of us together because that was a high priority for us. That was rare. We usually end up looking for months on craigslist to get what we want. Last year we bought our whole family expensive sports equipment... 100% off of craigslist, at 10% of the market price. You'd think we have money but really we just troll craigslist to get stuff from people who do. We went to so many rich people's houses to find what we needed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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