Kidlit Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 I'm sitting on the front porch to de-stress myself after a particularly angst-y writing lesson with my ten year old. I'd love to come up with a go-to list of suggestions to help her get a handle on the frustration before it overtakes the lesson. (And yes, I realize I probably need this as much as she does.). Links to past threads are also welcome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelaburke1000 Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Excited to see what people post . . . This year my girls are running laps around the yard every five math problems or so. They love it and are exhausted (in a good way) by the end of their lessons. This summer at a conference I learned that drinking water lowers cortisol in the blood stream, so now we make sure our water bottles are on hand. We also take breaks after pretty much each subject to play with the 2yr old. Lots of physical/sensory stuff: build a fort (also makes the next lesson more fun, because it happens in a fort), play doh, magnetic sand, chalk drawing, or just tickling a toddler and making him laugh until he can hardly breathe. So good for endorphin levels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathie in VA Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Shoot a few hoops Walk to dog Cup of Hot chocolate (especially when they don't expect it) A hug Protein (peanuts or cheese) Sometimes my little lecture on getting the bricks out of the way of the wheels... Wheels can't turn with bricks in the way and you can't learn with anger and frustration in the way..... Worse cases drop the subject till tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Let them take a bath, maybe with toys or bubbles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 exercise of any kind. Go for a walk, run, bike ride, punch the punching dummy, throw a few hoops. have a snack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 For one of my kids, reading to her is a cure-all for anything from difficult school work to a grumpy mama. Reading on her own is the next best thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirstenhill Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Getting out of the house for a walk or a bike ride is a big help here for DD. Too bad here in MN it is too cold or snowy to bike most of the school year, since DD really gets much more relaxation out of a short bike ride than out of a walk. We also do quiet time alone (usually this means everyone in the house needs to be quiet or noisy boys need to go outside). Noise always makes DD's stress level worse, so we try and reduce noise when the stress in increasing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyacinth Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 I think it was SWB in the WTM who mentioned the healing properties of a shower, a snack, and/or a nap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pronghorn Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Drawing or music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 A mug of hot chocolate (cold weather) or a glass of chocolate milk (warm weather) A break to read some fiction for enjoyment Putting that subject aside until the afternoon or the next day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Can you identify what is causing the stress? Is it the actual material or assignment, or is she tired or hungry? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted September 13, 2014 Author Share Posted September 13, 2014 Can you identify what is causing the stress? Is it the actual material or assignment, or is she tired or hungry? In this particular case, it was probably my unrealistic expectations. :huh: However, in general, there is a fine line between frustration that causes her to shut-down and frustration that spurs her on to a breakthrough in understanding. I'd like to keep on the friendlier side of that line, hence the question. :thumbup1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Space station Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Chocolate is the universal comforter in this house! A few chocolate chips or a cup of hot cocoa, with a generous portion of snuggles tossed in - suddenly the toughest work seems doable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aras Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Funny story... On one of our really frustrating days for both the kids and I, they were sent outside to play and I went to take a hot bath and read a book. While I was soaking I heard what sounded like a scream but I didn't hear any more screaming or crying after it so I continued reading. Then I heard it again. I began to worry and decided this needed to be checked out. So I got out of the tub, put on my bath robe and I went to investigate. At this point, I'm thinking there will be blood and perhaps broken bones. I went to the front yard and I don't see them. Worry increases. Then I went to the back yard. There they were laughing and joking. I said, "Are you ok???" They said they were fine. I said, "What was that screaming? Did someone get hurt?" My ds said, "Dd was stressed out so we were primal screaming. We feel much better now!" So they could always do yoga and primal scream :rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomeontheprairie Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I didn't read the responses. assuming you aren't trying to take a break and then retackle the issue... we tell our kids to "stay calm. Keep breathing. You can handle this." (from Becky bailee) we use this in many situations, not just school. my kids will say it to themselves. The reminder to KEEP BREATHING ifs especially helpful, your brain doesn't work (well) without oxygen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 What the others said. Shack, a treat, a walk, a trip to the park. Something. And, depending on how frustrated they are I might reroute them in a very special way. Let's go get that book you wanted, let's go pick up some fishhooks and go fishing. Meaning, learning perseverance doesn't have to happen all in one sitting. A lot of times when adults are struggling with something, we take a break from it, gather ourselves, and then regroup and tackle it, right? That's still perseverance. So just because you rerouted for the day doesn't mean you're giving up. Now that said, that doesn't mean they're allowed to give up at the first try, though. They've got to put some effort into it. And you as parent have to be cool and kick them back onto the field occasionally. I also try and make sure that they're gaining every day, and I praise their effort, always. "You tried really hard today, great job." I think this is one of THE most difficult aspects of homeschooling. Balancing the brake with the gas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaLisa Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 Breaking for: a snack outside play another subject and putting the stressful one aside until the next session (tonight? tomorrow?) free inside play (especially for younger ones) tea and cookies move the lesson outside on a porch swing, on a blanket, in the tree fort if she's angsty and you're not, break for the current read aloud while they color or do legos a walk or bike ride around the neighborhood Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 13, 2014 Share Posted September 13, 2014 I keep a candy basket or a bag of chocolate chips in the cupboard. Sometimes dropping a handful of chips or a tiny reeses cup in front of them during a rough lesson helps SO much. One day, I dragged the sofa out in the center of the living room (totally random place) covered it in quilts and we read aloud for an hour. They just needed something unusual to consider. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Lots of great suggestions and we have used many of them. Our favorite though is a read aloud. My kids are de-stressed by cuddling up and listening to a story. We really only stopped reading aloud within the last 6 months. If they had more free time, we'd probably still read aloud. Stress for us always brought some time cuddled with a good book. If we could place that in front of a fire, with hot chocolate and a snack involved too - well now you've reached stress relieving nirvana here. We also consider exercise, showers and playing with pets as high value stress relief options too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Lots of great suggestions and we have used many of them. Our favorite though is a read aloud. My kids are de-stressed by cuddling up and listening to a story. We really only stopped reading aloud within the last 6 months. If they had more free time, we'd probably still read aloud. Stress for us always brought some time cuddled with a good book. If we could place that in front of a fire, with hot chocolate and a snack involved too - well now you've reached stress relieving nirvana here. We also consider exercise, showers and playing with pets as high value stress relief options too. Read-alouds are my high trigger for personal stress these days, which is sad as we used to do a lot of them. I've had to cut way back on read-alouds with all 4 of my dc together, as there just ending up being too much noise, distractions, twitching, etc. It's completely crazy, as we spent 6 + years doing copious amounts of read-alouds when the dc were really young. Now, I can only do them in small doses with maximum 3 children. I feel like a damaged/fragile record in some ways. Perhaps is another one of those pre-menapausal symptoms creeping into my world. :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kidlit Posted September 14, 2014 Author Share Posted September 14, 2014 Read-alouds are my high trigger for personal stress these days, which is sad as we used to do a lot of them. I've had to cut way back on read-alouds with all 4 of my dc together, as there just ending up being too much noise, distractions, twitching, etc. It's completely crazy, as we spent 6 + years doing copious amounts of read-alouds when the dc were really young. Now, I can only do them in small doses with maximum 3 children. I feel like a damaged/fragile record in some ways. Perhaps is another one of those pre-menapausal symptoms creeping into my world. :leaving: I'm sorry, wintermom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Read-alouds are my high trigger for personal stress these days, which is sad as we used to do a lot of them. I've had to cut way back on read-alouds with all 4 of my dc together, as there just ending up being too much noise, distractions, twitching, etc. It's completely crazy, as we spent 6 + years doing copious amounts of read-alouds when the dc were really young. Now, I can only do them in small doses with maximum 3 children. I feel like a damaged/fragile record in some ways. Perhaps is another one of those pre-menapausal symptoms creeping into my world. :leaving: Awe, that's sad. I'm sorry. I only have 2, so maybe that made it different. My kids never make noise, move, or distract in any way during read-alouds. Sometimes I have to check to see if everyone is awake :lol: That is how relaxing it is here. I'm sorry it has become a stress. I hope it is a temporary stage, like so many others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Cuddling with a furry pet works here. We say we have very well-educated ratties. They often sit in laps during math! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3 Only Children Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 I have a basket of things like thinking putty or clay, exercise bands, stress balls, chenille wires (anything they can use with their hands). This is kept on the bookshelf and comes out for those times when they need to be "doing" something as they are thinking and seems to help with stress. Setting the timer for frustrating subjects is good too.... start with a short period and then slowly up the time each week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 What sort of long term habits are you trying to build in your children? I know different friends in college had good and bad ways of dealing with stress, and I'd like to mindfully build positive work habits. Some of these ideas are okay if used infrequently (comfort food), but what are good ways of dealing with stress when you really do have a lot to do and it must get done (and you've already gained your freshman 15...)? Going to sleep and then think more about this tomorrow, since we have certain subjects that cause stress... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Awe, that's sad. I'm sorry. I only have 2, so maybe that made it different. My kids never make noise, move, or distract in any way during read-alouds. Sometimes I have to check to see if everyone is awake :lol: That is how relaxing it is here. I'm sorry it has become a stress. I hope it is a temporary stage, like so many others. That would be a real treat - quiet and still children! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.