Kitchen Cleanup, Kids, and Expensive Items

[fairfarmhand]

As mentioned in another thread, I cook with cast iron frequently and stoneware often as well. These things have to be handled carefully (not quite the same as fragile, but you have to know what you are doing) to avoid ruining them.

 

In the long run, I really want my kids to start doing all the dishwork themselves.

 

How do I turn loose of my fear that they will ruin my expensive, nice cooking stuff? I mean, it takes time to get a good seasoning on a cast iron pan.

 

Help me relax as a control freak in the kitchen.

 

Seriously, they could break every glass in the cabinet and it wouldn't bother me like ruining the seasoning on my pans.

[Tap]

If you will be that bothered by it, then don't let them do it.  If you can accept the fact that despite training them, they might forget and use soap on your cherished skillet, and if you can can just move on and let it go.....then it is a good time to train them the care and keeping of iron pans.

 

 

Just realize, that at some point in time, they will mess up.  You are just going to have to decide if it would be a forgivable sin or not...and set the chores accordingly.

[fairfarmhand]

If you will be that bothered by it, then don't let them do it.  If you can accept the fact that despite training them, they might forget and use soap on your cherished skillet, and if you can can just move on and let it go.....then it is a good time to train them the care and keeping of iron pans.

 

 

Just realize, that at some point in time, they will mess up.  You are just going to have to decide if it would be a forgivable sin or not...and set the chores accordingly.

 

aiy yi yi.....

 

Isn't it absolutely ridiculous that this bothers me so much? I mean, really. I need to get a grip.

[SKL]

I would buy another one just for them and show them how to use it and take care of it.  They are not allowed to touch yours until they can show they know how to take care of theirs.

[Amira]

I've had to scrub rust out of my cast iron pans enough times to make sure no one else touches them.  

[Tap]

aiy yi yi.....

 

Isn't it absolutely ridiculous that this bothers me so much? I mean, really. I need to get a grip.

LOL Not really.  I get it, I use cast iron too.  But, i just know that from time to time, I will have to re-season it.  When it has to be done, I try to get the person who decided that just a drop of soap wont hurt...to reseason it with me, so they understand. 

[HS Mom in NC]

We use cast iron sometimes too.  If you're really worried about it, then assign them every kitchen task except cleaning the cast iron skillet.  You can go in first, do the cast iron and then they can come in and do everything else.

[Desert Strawberry]

I cook with cast iron, too. It's virtually indestructible. What are you afraid will happen? I mean, if they leave it overnight in the sink, or take a brillo pad to it, that would be bad, but wouldn't you notice before that got very far? 

I have a vintage glass collection that we use regularly. They have broken a few things, as have I. There was a bit of a learning curve. To me, it's more important to use it and enjoy it than to let it sit in a shelf unused. So we chance it. We all seem to have worked that out. 

 

If you have concerns about this piece or that, review special instructions for each piece before clean up. Or have them tell you. Then you can be sure they really know what to do. 
 

Beyond that, you just have to let go. The skills are worth the price of a dish. 

[zoobie]

I usually do the cast iron skillet immediately after cooking in it. It's too heavy for my kids to wrangle well right now. But DH has scrubbed too hard, and it's not really a big deal. Just cook some bacon. :) I definitely plan on teaching them how to take care of it, and I'll buy multiples later to start getting the skillets nice and seasoned to pass on when they start a household.

 

Stoneware is supposed to be really durable too I thought?

[vonfirmath]

We use cast iron sometimes too.  If you're really worried about it, then assign them every kitchen task except cleaning the cast iron skillet.  You can go in first, do the cast iron and then they can come in and do everything else.

 

In our house, only my husband cleans the cast iron skillet. I am perfectly capable of cleaning everything else and leaving the skillet alone for him to do.  It's not that hard because our skillet lives on the stove all the time.

[skimomma]

I also would just have the kids leave any cast iron (or anything else that you would prefer to clean yourself).  In my house, I am the only person who cleans the cast iron.  Dh just cannot seem to resist using soap, even after decades of me asking him not to.  And all of mine is pretty heavy so too difficult for dd.  But bigger than that, my white enameled sink gets scratched up something awful if great care is not taken with the cast iron.  Specifically, the cast iron cannot touch the sink at all.  Everything else in my kitchen is for sure free to be cleaned by anyone, anytime!

[Catherine]

Just yell at them, throw in a few insults...point out all of their mistakes.

 

Seriously, it worked on me.

 

 

 

Really, I'm joking. But the fact that you are even asking such a question shows you're probably on the right track. Otherwise, you WOULD just throw in the insults.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I agree about the stoneware. I use soap on my Pampered Chef all the time because I hate the greasy residue left behind if I don't. I don't understand why people say not to. If it's just the seasoning, mine have been virtually non-stick since the day they came out of the box, and the paperwork touts it as nonporous, so it won't absorb food odors etc. Therefore it also won't absorb soap. The pieces have also picked up plenty of seasoning just from being cooked in, and that hasn't washed off even with soap and plenty of scrubbing. I'd definitely let the kids at my stoneware. 

 

As for the cast iron, I totally hear you. I discourage even DH from touching my cast iron :lol: Sometimes I'll go in and find him cooking something really watery in it, and I just want cry. I would handle the cast iron myself, and someday, when they're ready to care for their own cast iron, you'll show them. My mother never used a cast iron pan in her life, so I'm living proof you can learn that skill as an adult  :tongue_smilie:

[fairfarmhand]

I would handle the cast iron myself, and someday, when they're ready to care for their own cast iron, you'll show them.

 

I think this is the route I am going to go. My children are notorious for not caring for others stuff as they would their own. (I realize this is developmentally appropriate. Still aggravating though) I found one of my Pampered Chef stoneware casseroles in the dishwasher the other day. Despite many warnings about such things.

[Amira]

Now that I think about it, my family does know how to take care of our cast iron pans.  They just think it's more of a hassle than it's worth so they never touch them and cook in our one tiny non-stick pan.  The times I've had trouble is when someone else is living in my house and using my dishes and they put the cast iron pans in the dishwasher and then leave them there for a day. It's a perfectly reasonable thing to do with other dishes, but it's a big hassle for me to discover.

[MicheleinMN]

aiy yi yi.....

 

Isn't it absolutely ridiculous that this bothers me so much? I mean, really. I need to get a grip.

 

I don't let anyone in the house do the cast iron pan except me.  Nope, not worth it to me.  They can buy their own and learn how to care for it.  (Do you feel better now?)

[LucyStoner]

People learn by doing.

 

It will be ok.

 

You can reseason cast iron.

 

It will be ok. That bears repeating. :P

[Caroline]

Adults in this household can't even be trusted with kitchen items :laugh: Dh will use metal on a non-stick pan. I had no idea what I was doing and ruined a cast iron griddle - I think I burned it to death and then washed it with soap. I only used it to make quesadillas.

 

Recently I sorta messed up the inside of a stoneware dish (http://s7d9.scene7.com/is/image/BedBathandBeyond/6228514598600p?) with a baked sweet potato that left behind a nasty layer which I cleaned several times only to find a few traces of gunk on the edges. I don't think it's a goner, though. In general, I don't think of our stoneware as that fragile or unique in cleaning. Mostly just a bit on the heavy side.

 

I might just let them clean everything but the cast iron pan?

Off topic... You can put most stonewear through the clean cycle on your oven to clean it.

[HS Mom in NC]

The cast iron is my husband's.  I only use the cast iron Dutch oven a few times a year.  He uses the cast iron wok and skillets several times a month, so whoever cooks with it cleans it.  I will not buy anything that can't go into the dishwasher.  Problem solved.  No fussy clean up around here. I also won't buy things that need ironing.  Life is too short.

[Miss Peregrine]

My DS put my cast iron skillet in the dishwasher once.

 

 

 

 

 

Once.

 

Haha, I did freak out a little but we talked about mommy's little preciousssssss and he will never do that again.

[Miss Peregrine]

I actually care more about my kids learning to take care of things and helping out with the workload than I care about something being broken or ruined so the extra effort is worth it.

[Catwoman]

Why do you want your kids to have to do all the dishwork?

[vonfirmath]

Now that I think about it, my family does know how to take care of our cast iron pans.  They just think it's more of a hassle than it's worth so they never touch them and cook in our one tiny non-stick pan.  The times I've had trouble is when someone else is living in my house and using my dishes and they put the cast iron pans in the dishwasher and then leave them there for a day. It's a perfectly reasonable thing to do with other dishes, but it's a big hassle for me to discover.

 

THIS is why my husband cleans ours. Its too heavy for me to handle and too much of a hassle so I always used other pots when I cooked. I am not sure why I even held onto the cast iron pots as a single gal. I never used them. But my husband convinced me not to get rid of them when we moved and now he uses one ALL The time.

 

[HS Mom in NC]

Why do you want your kids to have to do all the dishwork?

 

Why do you assume only the kids are doing all of it? Did I miss that post?  Maybe because mom did most of the planning, shopping and cooking, teaching, driving, etc.

 

 Around here we all take turns with cooking and cleaning chores as soon as they're capable because everyone contributes to the messes.  Everyone who eats helps because they're capable of doing so. The mentally incapable and physically incapable are excused from such duties. All the chores are divided among everyone 6 and older and we rotate them every month.  My kids begin unloading the plastic toddler dishes, sippy cups and and plastic utensils and putting them in the appropriate bins in the lower cabinets under supervision starting at age 2. I unload all the sharps and breakables first, then they go at it.Other people buy "sorting" games to teach these basic concepts.  We call sorting games laundry and dishes at my house. Kids who help with chores tend to appreciate all the effort others put into doing such tasks compared to kids who aren't required to contribute effort to running the household.

[KungFuPanda]

I'd take care of the pan before sitting down to dinner and leave the rest to them. I find that if I take the food out, and boil a little water in the pan, it cleans up easily. I can take care of it while someone else sets the table. Only people who cook with cast iron will understand you. Most days though, I just use pots, pans, and knives that can go in the dishwasher.

[Catwoman]

Why do you assume only the kids are doing all of it? Did I miss that post? Maybe because mom did most of the planning, shopping and cooking, teaching, driving, etc.

She specifically mentioned it in the OP.

 

And I would assume she does most of the planning, shopping and cooking, teaching, driving, etc.

 

So what?

[Murphy101]

All my teens have been taught how to properly clean those things and why it's important.

 

My not teens have not, mostly bc my kids are twigs and it would be a real struggle for them to carefully manage the bulkiness, weight and fragility of those items, so I don't expect them to.

 

I get over it by standing over them for a long insisting it be done right until I feel mostly confident they will continue to do it that way without me there. And they like to cook, so they know the enjoyment of working with better quality items vs cheaper items. They don't want to tear it up anymore than I do.

[Murphy101]

I think for young people it's not that they don't care, it's that they get on autopilot and forget. I've done that. Cleaning cleaning cleaning the pots, grab the next one and toss soap on it and start scrubbing and suddenly I'm all, "oh crap. It's the cast iron!" Or grab the corelle and then grab the stoneware and "crap! Chipped it." when it banged against the sink bc it weighted more than I expected when I was in mindlessly grabbing corelle and plastic mode.

 

It happens.

 

We usually remember to set aside all the "extra care" items separate from the main dishes so it doesn't happen as often.

 

And when they are first learning to do dishes, they are taught those are special and to either leave them for someone bigger or to come get me when they are ready to clean them so I can be sure they did it right.

[Mandylubug]

Well, I have precious wares...mine know not to touch anything left on my stove top. Mine do typically do dishes after dinner. I am in there with them putting up leftovers, straightening up and washing by hand those items I deem precious to me. They are working beside me and see how I handle them. I don't think they'd do a great job yet but that's okay. I still have to stop and show my 12yr old better dishwasher loading techniques many days. Working together makes it all the better :)

[HS Mom in NC]

She specifically mentioned it in the OP.

 

And I would assume she does most of the planning, shopping and cooking, teaching, driving, etc.

 

So what?

 

 Because mom did the other tasks then kids can do all the dishwork. Why should the kids not be cleaning the dishes they made dirty after a meal mom put all the effort into? They're capable of it.  Mom doesn't wipe their butts once they're capable , mom doesn't spoon feed them once they're capable, mom doesn't bathe them once they're capable, mom doesn't brush their teeth once they're capable, mom doesn't dress them once they're capable, mom doesn't always drive them once they're capable, so why can't they help around the house once they're capable?

[Murphy101]

Yeah. Pretty much. I don't really care if the kids in question do all the dishes. So what. It's not like dishes are the only chore involved in running a home. *shrug*

[LibraryLover]

I prefer to clean the All Clad etc. Dh does this as well. I wouldn't burden a kid with that (unless good enough is good enough). It's great to get kids to put their glasses, silverware, dishes in the dishwasher (+ help unload the next day) & put their napkins in the laundry basket. Teaching a child how to start the dishwasher is also a handy skill.

[Catwoman]

Because mom did the other tasks then kids can do all the dishwork. Why should the kids not be cleaning the dishes they made dirty after a meal mom put all the effort into? They're capable of it.  Mom doesn't wipe their butts once they're capable , mom doesn't spoon feed them once they're capable, mom doesn't bathe them once they're capable, mom doesn't brush their teeth once they're capable, mom doesn't dress them once they're capable, mom doesn't always drive them once they're capable, so why can't they help around the house once they're capable?

Wow.

 

You seem to feel pretty strongly about this.

 

My ds doesn't do dishes. He doesn't do household chores. It has nothing to do with capability.

 

When we were growing up, neither my dh nor I did dishes or other chores, either. We turned out just fine, and I'm entirely confident that our ds will turn out just fine, as well.

 

Obviously, you should do whatever works best for your family, but not everyone believes it is necessary for our kids to have chores.

[Catwoman]

I honestly can't imagine my kids not doing chores. It just blows my mind. Not only would our house be a lot less pleasant place to be (I can't keep up with six people make messes and not helping manage them) but helping others and having a stake in the keeping of the home has helped my children immensely.

 

They're shockingly less likely to thrash something when they are the ones to have to fix, clean, or even replace it :)

 

Truthfully, they seem to get a lot of satisfaction from helping alongside me and their dad, and having their domains and responsibilities. They don't always love it, but their attitudes actually improve the more that is expected of them.

I find it interesting that many people seem to believe that if kids don't do chores, they will trash the house and not take good care of things. I don't think a kid has to clean the house in order to behave properly and not make a mess of everything.

[KungFuPanda]

Why do you want your kids to have to do all the dishwork?

It's the same thing as wanting them to do all of their math independently. You want them to be capable of doing it without help before they leave the house so they're able to live independently. If they live with a spouse or a roommate it can create serious tension if a grown adult is accustomed to others cleaning up after him. Being able to properly clean a kitchen is a life skill that everyone should have.

[Melissa in Australia]

we use cast iron frying pans only here. We have 3 different sizes. every single child here uses them all the time, and washes them. I have never had to re-season them. the worst thing that has happened is the wooden handle on one pan has been cracked by ds18. he made a new handle and it is even better than new.

[BlsdMama]

We use cast iron. They all know not to use soap. I admit one got left on a burger two weeks ago and burnt terribly and DOES need reseasoning. However, it was a fluke. Cast irin is indestructible.

 

However, what kind of stove do you have? That's where your fear should lie. We've chipped a glass cooktop with cast iron AND we've completely broken one and had to replace it. ;) Heavy duty stainless now and I'm so glad!

[kiwik]

I'm not big on chores for kids either. We all spend some time together cleaning once a week and ds7 puts his washing away and keeps his room reasonably clean. I'm pretty sure that packing my kid's school bag for a few more years won't prevent them being able to do it when they are older. Ditto beds, running baths etc. Basically I expect them to help me but not do it for me. I think there is a lot of benefit in a child doing something with a parent or a much older sibling but not a lot in two similar age kids doing it together. For example when I was a kid my slightly younger brother and I had to do the dishes (not a lot) and we hated it. I would have loved to do the dishes with my father and it may have been good for our relationship.

[DawnM]

My kids do clean the kitchen BUT I wash the Pampered Chef items and they just know to leave them by the side of the sink.  

[fairfarmhand]

I find it interesting that many people seem to believe that if kids don't do chores, they will trash the house and not take good care of things. I don't think a kid has to clean the house in order to behave properly and not make a mess of everything.

 

I don't believe that at all.

 

However, we have a large family. I cannot keep up.

 

In our family it would be unfair for mom to do 4 hours of chores per day when each child could contribute 30 minutes or less and it would cut mom's work down to a more manageable level.

 

I don't believe that you are damaging your son by not giving him chores. But I don't believe that I am damaging my kids by giving them chores either.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Eh, that's my personal experience speaking. I was a low chore kid and paid for it. Not with destructiveness, but ineptitude and laziness as an adult.

 

This was my own experience as well. I had to learn how to all of that stuff when I got out on my own, and I STILL struggle daily with how to get things done because so many of those things that should be automatic, like cleaning up the kitchen right after dinner, are just not habits for me. I have to work hard to make those habits. And as someone else pointed out, it was a sore point between DH and me for awhile.

 

My kids are 9 and 12, and I've only just started giving them work to do around the house. DD9 is unloading the dishwasher as I type this, and DD12 will be cleaning the bathroom later. Even these small things have been a huge help to me, especially right now when I'm running myself ragged getting them to their first week of new activities, planning a birthday party and a birthday trip, organizing family get-togethers for birthdays, cleaning the house for friends coming over, etc.

 

Based on my own experiences, my main goals are to give my kids experience in doing household work so they don't have to go through the struggles I went through when I left home and started my own household, giving them a stake in this household so that they care more about what happens to it (which has also been my experience--for example, there's a lot less mess left around after gerbil cage cleanouts now that they're the ones who have to vacuum afterward!), and having them realize that they're part of this family team rather than their former thinking that DH and I are wait staff and they're the employers. Everyone pitches in here, everyone does grunt work, everyone does work they don't want to do, everyone sacrifices for the good of the family sometimes. Those are lessons I wish I'd learned a long time before I needed them!

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I'm not big on chores for kids either. We all spend some time together cleaning once a week and ds7 puts his washing away and keeps his room reasonably clean. I'm pretty sure that packing my kid's school bag for a few more years won't prevent them being able to do it when they are older. Ditto beds, running baths etc. Basically I expect them to help me but not do it for me. I think there is a lot of benefit in a child doing something with a parent or a much older sibling but not a lot in two similar age kids doing it together. For example when I was a kid my slightly younger brother and I had to do the dishes (not a lot) and we hated it. I would have loved to do the dishes with my father and it may have been good for our relationship.

 

Putting his washing away, keeping his room clean, and participating in the household cleaning once a week ARE chores. When my DD9 is emptying out the dishwasher, she's rarely in the kitchen alone. Typically, I'm in there as well, rinsing and straightening and preparing to load the dishwasher. Also, the OP has pre-teens and teenagers, and I'd imagine that's who we're talking about here. When my kids were 7, I don't think they were putting laundry away on a regular basis, and for sure they weren't keeping their rooms clean! So you're already ahead of the game as far as I'm concerned :lol:

[KungFuPanda]

A lot of it is lifestyle dependent. Right now, I do most of the household chores. My teen Dd and my Dh CAN keep the house in order and feed themselves when I'm out of town or sick. I've taught DD to do these things so she's capable, but I do things on a day-to-day basis. It's just me and DS (14 ) home all day while DH is at work and dd is in high school. By the time they get home, I've finished all but the dinner dishes and they just have to put plates in an empty dishwasher. DH and I relax for the evening and DD does homework. She also does her laundry. Honestly, she's working as many hours as I am between school, homework, and drama activities. DS has a serious disability, and does what he can from his wheelchair, but he uses so much physical energy doing things the rest of us take for granted that I hate to give him too much household responsibility.

 

This is just our family dynamic. There are only four of us. I'm down to ONE homeschooled middle schooler. Nobody is particularly messy and I have it under control 90% of the time. Dd does her own laundry. DH doesn't care how often we eat out if I don't feel like cooking. They do what I ask, but what I ask of them is different from day to day and doesn't require a regular, consistent rotation. It 'feels' fair. We all have our different jobs. We all relax (except for high-schooler) in the evening.

 

If I had a large family, or little kids, or land or animals to care for, or more activities, or more homeschooled children, I'm SURE I would need a system that involved other people more and my own personal system I'm using now would not keep things livable.

[Murphy101]

I don't think chores make or break character.

 

I simply think 12 people make for a lot less work for individuals than 1 person doing it all.

 

Other people can do whatever. Makes no difference to me. Until they give me flak for doing different. That makes me mildly cranky briefly.

 

I do expect a lot of my kids. I don't think it's anything to apologize for either.