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I'm a wreck. I've updated some if anyone would like to respond.


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My Mother passed this morning. I went home last night because her vitals were good. Got up this morning, jumped in the shower, and the phone rang. Nurse said mom talked to her, declined pain meds. Half-hour later, she went to check on her, and she was gone.


I'm numb. I thought we had more time. But you know what? My mom had balls- she went exactly the way she wanted. I'm so proud of her.


Later, I have a huge vent about the not so nice hospice lady, and the blowout.


I can't believe she's gone. I love her so much.

You did good Momma.

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Someday soon you'll be even more thrilled your mom did it her way.


I've a strong belief if one is supposed to be there for a dying loved one, it will happen that way. If one is not, then it won't. Be at peace that you were home in the shower. I was not there for my dad, but was for my mom. Neither way was easy.


:grouphug: May your mind and heart be filled with good memories...and may they bring a smile to your face.

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I'm so sorry your mom died. 


After losing my daughter and other close family relatives to cancer, I really believe that those dying of chronic illness can choose their moment of passing to some extent---so many I know went at that moment that someone stepped out of the room to refill ice in a glass or that brief moment when everyone was at home and could be there. I'm also glad that you know that she didn't want pain meds.  Having peace about the actual passing helps with the hurt of losing a loved one.


As to the rest of it, it's hard, and I'm sorry.  May you have no family drama, may no one say something stupid and hurtful through the process, and may you find moments of peace and feel surrounded by love during a really hard time.

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