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Had the meeting with the school psychologist for DD12's testing results. Not sure where to go now.


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Does she prefer video or written? I have several ideas.

 

All of them include my word root bingo game, though! I like to play with allergy free small chocolate chips or skittles as markers, they get a few extra but have to save at least 16 until the game is done, then they get to eat the rest of the markers.

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/LangLessons/greeklatinroots.html

 

She definitely prefers written. Although tech savvy, and a tech nut, she really loathes learning from online or dvd/screen based.

 

Thanks for the link - going to look now!

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Aimee - I'm not sure the testing changes anything for your plans this year. Why should it? I think you should meet your daughter where she's at -- get her love of science back, get her interest in learning back, help her to feel comfortable with math again, etc. Well, I'm nixing Apples and Pears because she admitted that she liked it because it's easy (and fun). Not that I don't want fun - but she agreed that she would more enjoy taking a year off formal spelling, in isolation, and would enjoy vocabulary instead.

 

I think AOPS "cold" would be a bad idea - it would just reinforce her idea that she's "bad" at something. If you want to try it after completing another algebra program, it might be a good fit. I agree that it's a bad idea. We're doing CLE Algebra 1 this year (it offers a nice review of pre-algebra skills at the beginning, and we can take it as slowly as we need to). Part of the issue, I think, is that she said she's is "beyond" sick of prealgebra (2+ years of it).

 

I have a perfectionist (dd#3) who thinks she should be just as good at everything as her older sister. (The trouble is, right now she almost is. If older sis eventually "takes off", where will that put the perfectionist? In the dumps!) My dd#2, personality-wise, sounds similar to your daughter. I haven't figured out how to get her to put out more "oomph" if she isn't interested in something.  Maybe it's a preteen girl thing, lol.

 

The thing I haven't heard yet is if Autumn has a passion. Something to get her to "go beyond" and risk the perfectionism because she just really, really loves it. No. While it kills me to say it, she has no real passion for much of anything but Harry Potter (lol). She simply hasn't found that "thing" yet, I think. To be fair, I do not have one that I can pin point. I didn't mention it because, well, there isn't one. She enjoys, well enough, several things, but nothing that she enjoys so much she's willing to work past if it includes a lot of effort on her end. I hesitate to write this because I know that on this board, it can be rather common to insist that all children have a passion. She doesn't - yet. She is passionate about everything, but no one thing is her PASSION... does that make any sense? (sounds confusing to me, lol)

 

For dd#2, it is art stuff. We found someone to teach her oil painting that she clicks with (at least for now). It isn't always smooth, but she's willing to make mistakes to learn. She resists learning a new technique because she is comfortable with an old one. But she allows this tutor to push her. She continues to work on her drawing -- adding perspective/dimensions, shading, and trying to progress on her own.

 

That's what I'd look for and add to my plan for this year for your daughter. I'd keep the academics down to the minimum (don't add to the load you already have listed/planned) and give her enough free time to search for her passion. It's pretty bare minimum right now. We are covering what is required of us by the state. SHE wants to add in Latin and study for the National Mythology Exam, so I guess those are extras - but I'll hardly say no to those, lol!

 

 

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I keep considering MCT, but I have no clue where to place her there. Any ideas? I've never noticed a placement test on RFWP site. I do think it would be stimulating for her.

My older pick WtW series over the CE series. So far he liked it. Not sure which series has more mythology though. We bought WtW because older likes etymology and picked the series.

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I don't think all kids have a passion at 12. I'm not sure I ever did, to be honest. (My dd#1 doesn't have any one particular passion yet. She loves to read & she loves to ride her bike. She's good at languages -- but they haven't started getting "hard" yet - so we'll see if she's willing to work hard at them when they are difficult.)

 

But I think that would be a good thing to leave time for this year.  :grouphug:

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Yeah! Actually, there's a curriculum you can go through with her. Written for a classroom but we found it easy enough to modify for home. http://www.mindsetworks.com/. You can usually get it on sale though homeschoolbuyersco-op. Really works to reprogram those internal thought patterns.

 

EDIT: a-ha! It is on sale through the end of the month for 75% off.

 

 

https://www.homeschoolbuyersco-op.org/brainology/?source=130224

 

 

 

Also, along those lines, another vote for working with a mental health professional-it's more than just "counseling" if you have a well-qualified (and a good personality fit too) person, e.g., cognitive and cognitive-behavioral strategies to combat negative thinking patterns and teach more adaptive and productive self-talk. Coping skills!!!!

 

Oops lots of posts since I saw the preceding post-I was referring to the recommendation about the book Mindset.

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. If I were you, I would formally dispute the assessment and request an independent evaluation paid for by the district with the evaluator of your choice. You may have to go to due process to get the IEE, but sometimes they will back down just as a result of the mere threat of having to go through due process.

 

 

I wanted to highlight this, since it may have gotten lost in the post that came after, and I think it is important. We have not had evaluations done through the school, but our neuropsych suggested that we do so, and she said that if we did not have our questions sufficiently answered or felt that more should be done, that we should ask for an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE).

 

Please do some research about this as an option. Since they did not test specifically for dyslexia, but you have been told repeatedly by other educators that dyslexia may be an issue, it seems that a dyslexia evaluation should be performed by an outside evaluator. The school may not deny the request for an IEE. They must either agree to it at school expense or prove in a hearing that it is not necessary. Find out what your rights are and pursue them. If needed, you are entitled to have an advocate help you figure all of this out.

 

I am absolutely not an expert and have not gone through this myself, so do some research for yourself. I found some basic information with a simple web search just now. It seems to me that you have a very good case for requesting additional evaluations. Don't let the school tell you that you do not qualify if you ask them about this. They are required to go through a process if you request an IEE. I'd suggest doing it in writing.

 

ETA :grouphug:

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We aren't really interested in counseling at the moment, honestly. It's something we'll consider later if need be, but not ATM.

I hear you and understand where you're probably come from I think.  I'll just toss out that the friends I have whose kids have clinical anxiety found that it got worse in the teen years (really worse) and wished they had gotten counseling earlier.  There's more plasticity and flexibility to work with when they're younger.  So that's something to consider.  Also, my thought was that seeing an experienced psychologist for some counseling would give you fresh perspective on whether the eval was complete or missed things and who might be the appropriate psych to recommend to do private evals.  Just a thought.  

 

Also, did you see this free webinar from ARI?  It was EXCELLENT and might give you more ideas.  http://ariconference.com/?p=1334

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I hear you and understand where you're probably come from I think.  I'll just toss out that the friends I have whose kids have clinical anxiety found that it got worse in the teen years (really worse) and wished they had gotten counseling earlier.  There's more plasticity and flexibility to work with when they're younger.  So that's something to consider.  Also, my thought was that seeing an experienced psychologist for some counseling would give you fresh perspective on whether the eval was complete or missed things and who might be the appropriate psych to recommend to do private evals.  Just a thought.  

 

Also, did you see this free webinar from ARI?  It was EXCELLENT and might give you more ideas.  http://ariconference.com/?p=1334

 

We just don't have the time right now. I feel terrible, but right now so much time is being consumed with Nico's appointments... and they are of the rather serious medical variety... that short of asking Autumn to give up the things she enjoys doing (piano lessons and soccer), I can't imagine finding the time - right now. Nico always has seasons of doing very well, medically, and then we can definitely look into it. In fact, assuming his next radiology visit is clear (next week), we should be good to go for quite a while. It would go over like a lead balloon if I suggested that she go to counseling instead of soccer and piano :p

 

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I know you said she doesn't have a passion, but earlier you said she was passionate about justice and taking care of other people, especially the underdog. In a different thread, didn't you talk about making toiletry kits for homeless people with her? I think she has a passion, and that is taking care of people and getting them justice. 

 

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We just don't have the time right now. I feel terrible, but right now so much time is being consumed with Nico's appointments... and they are of the rather serious medical variety... that short of asking Autumn to give up the things she enjoys doing (piano lessons and soccer), I can't imagine finding the time - right now. Nico always has seasons of doing very well, medically, and then we can definitely look into it. In fact, assuming his next radiology visit is clear (next week), we should be good to go for quite a while. It would go over like a lead balloon if I suggested that she go to counseling instead of soccer and piano :p

 

Would there be someone in the church who would be willing to take her once a week for a while?  Don't know, just thinking.  No wonder you're feeling so frustrated!

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I hear you and understand where you're probably come from I think.  I'll just toss out that the friends I have whose kids have clinical anxiety found that it got worse in the teen years (really worse) and wished they had gotten counseling earlier.  There's more plasticity and flexibility to work with when they're younger.  So that's something to consider.  Also, my thought was that seeing an experienced psychologist for some counseling would give you fresh perspective on whether the eval was complete or missed things and who might be the appropriate psych to recommend to do private evals.  Just a thought.  

 

Also, did you see this free webinar from ARI?  It was EXCELLENT and might give you more ideas.  http://ariconference.com/?p=1334

 

I want to second what Elizabeth is saying here. Gently, for great reasons, your daughter has been in seven different school settings in nine years (preK-7th grade.) She has a brother with intensive medical needs. Aren't you sleeping on the floor in your two year old's room? She has a lot going on in her life. Counseling might really help her. 

 

I agree with Elizabeth on how frustrated you must be feeling with all that is going on in your life, too. I hope you can get everything settled and worked out.

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I want to second what Elizabeth is saying here. Gently, for great reasons, your daughter has been in seven different school settings in nine years (preK-7th grade.) She has a brother with intensive medical needs. Aren't you sleeping on the floor in your two year old's room? She has a lot going on in her life. Counseling might really help her. 

 

I agree with Elizabeth on how frustrated you must be feeling with all that is going on in your life, too. I hope you can get everything settled and worked out.

 

Unfortunately, I can promise that making her give up her activities (essentially her only social outlets) will not help. There is nothing that we can do to make more time, right now.

 

I do agree that the crazy number of schools she's been in is... slightly insane. The general consensus, at all the schools, has been that they aren't sure what to do with her. According to diagnostics, she places high, but then when she's put in higher ability classes, she folds.

 

Blessedly, so long as the upcoming radiology appt is clear, we'll have a bit more time to work with.

 

... but really, my larger issues, is that her anxiety is only targeted at academics when she's homeschooled (noted by the Edu Psych who did the eval, which is part of the reason she recommended maintaining one-on-one). One on one, when academics aren't being discussed or targeted, she noted that Autumn was talkative, relaxed, and happy.

Since Autumn has been pulled from the private school, she is laid back, eager to work, happy for those who "win", even when it isn't her, etc.

 

What the heck kind of counselor do I look for that deals with "academic anxiety"?  Because something DOES need to be done there if she ever wants to reach her goal of going to the Catholic high school.

 

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Aimee,

Your daughter's story is painfully familiar. My daughter has a very similar profile and while we understand her difficulties better than we did, we still don't have any turnkey answers for her. It's all one step at a time and then pausing for adjustment.

 

Recently, the most helpful advice came from http://www.livesinthebalance.org, and the accompanying book, Your Explosive Child. His stories tend to be about younger children with significant behavioral problems, not specifically adolescents with academic struggles. But his premise, that the child is doing as well as she can with the skills she has has been a really helpful framework. He outlines drilling down into the skills she needs to manage her anxiety and her patterns of life so that she can attempt the academics she is capable of, if she were capable of starting.  

 

I have found no experts to deal specifically with academic anxiety. Even the inattentive ADD diagnosis is poorly understood and addressed.  You are her best, and possibly only advocate.

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