The Dyslexic Advantage--If you haven't read this yet, do so!!

[Erin]

How is it this book is three years old and I just discovered it??

 

Not so much an overcoming dyslexia book (though suggestions are made) as it is teaching us to appreciate the difference that dyslexia creates in the wiring of a person who happens to have it.  
I'm a teacher of 20 years and have taken several reading remediation classes.  I learned more in this 250pg book than I did in 9 hours worth of classes.  

 

Truly, parents of dyslexics (as well as inattentive ADHD!), you owe it to yourselves and your kids to read this book.  It's utterly enlightening!

[OneStepAtATime]

I agree!  My mother was a teacher for several decades.  She was a reading specialist.  She was constantly taking additional courses to stay on top of the latest research.  And yet she was helpless in trying to help my own (at the time) un-diagnosed dyslexic children.  Reading that book was a huge eye opener.  For both of us.  And answered so many questions and helped us to see the positives that were right there in front of us but we had forgotten to look at in the stress and confusion and sadness of trying to find out what was wrong and what to do to help.  Yes, it is definitely a very valuable book to read.  And I frequently recommend it, along with others that are more specifically helpful for understanding the next step.  I am actually in the middle of reading it again....

 

But I also think it can be a painful book to read if you read it and come away expecting your child to be some sort of amazing genius only to find that they are perfectly average.  Perfectly average is just fine but I have heard from some parents reading that book that they thought their child would end up being some amazing genius just because they are dyslexic (even though I don't believe that is explicitly stated) and were frustrated and saddened when their child ended up being of average intelligence.   And it can give parents a false sense that all children diagnosed with dyslexia will suddenly thrive and do fantastic if you just know they are dyslexic because somehow that gives you immediate answers on how to help them.  Then they feel like failures when their children still struggle and they really don't know how to help.

 

I do agree, though, that any parent of a child with learning challenges, especially dyslexia, should read this book.   And think about it for a very long time, then read it again.  There is much to be gained....just read it with realistic expectations for your child.

 

I also think educators and educational administrators should read this book, as well as The Mislabeled Child by the same authors.  So much misunderstanding might be prevented if those were required readings.

[Heathermomster]

I believe that every adult that deals with dyslexic children should read the Dyslexic Advantage.  When I initially read the book, DS seemed surprised after I started asking him about narrative thinking.   DS was very excited to explain to me how he remembers things.  Anyhoo..

 

The back of the book contains interviews with individuals that have gone on to earn successful careers.  I appreciate the frankness in those interviews about skills and college and being open to alternatives in a chosen field.  The DA also freed me mentally to pursue every accommodation that is available to DS.   

 

The fact remains though that school is very difficult for dyslexic learners and with the right supports and tutoring, they can realize success as adults.  The challenge for me is getting the appropriate tutoring, maintaining a positive attitude, and working to harness the mind strengths.  

[FairProspects]

I do hear what you are saying OneStep and I also really think the book is written for 2E dyslexics. That is the primary population the Eides see in their clinic and the one they felt was most underserved by the dyslexic community when they wrote the book. It is a great book, however, and has lots of takeaways in terms of research for all parents of dyslexics.

[Erin]

I should have mentioned my kid is 2E, so that's part of why it resonated SOOOO strongly with me.  

[OneStepAtATime]

I do hear what you are saying OneStep and I also really think the book is written for 2E dyslexics. That is the primary population the Eides see in their clinic and the one they felt was most underserved by the dyslexic community when they wrote the book. It is a great book, however, and has lots of takeaways in terms of research for all parents of dyslexics.

I agree.   And honestly, while DD may not be gifted in a traditional sense, she has strengths that I was not recognizing as such until I read that book.  It really helped me to see outside the box of what "intelligence" and "capability" are and that she has some amazing talents and strengths.  Just not the traditional ones.  DS always thrived in school and just "gets" stuff so quickly that we never questioned if he had any learning issues, until all these hidden strengths were no longer strong enough to bolster all his hidden weaknesses.  This book helped me find those things for him, too.  I am grateful.

 

I just know that when I have others read this book I have had some react with depression, or initially got really excited but when their child didn't suddenly overnight turn into some amazingly successful child genius that they had failed somehow.  

 

In fact, one woman I am absolutely certain is dyslexic insisted that she is just stupid, not dyslexic, because she read part of that book (I recommended it because I suspect that two of her kids are 2e dyslexics and she has been really depressed trying to teach them) and was certain she had no talents or abilities so could not possibly be dyslexic.  I think she has some amazing talents.  They just aren't in the traditional academic sense.  I had hoped the book would help.  It made things worse.

[EKS]

I have mixed feelings about The Dyslexic Advantage.  On the one hand, my son fits their description of kids with M-strengths perfectly, so we're in the group that the book targets.  On the other hand, there's a lot about dyslexia that doesn't feel like a gift.  It is a disability and the disabling aspects really should be remediated as much as possible so that the child can have a shot at finding his gifts. 

 

There is a whole lot of work that goes into that remediation, even for highly gifted dyslexics.  And I don't think that is adequately reflected in book.

 

I have a friend who has a kid with dyslexia.  The kid is in school and the mother is taking a very passive approach to remediation.  The kid is 11yo and can barely read.  The justification is that the grandfather is also dyslexic and is highly successful.  Then the mother read the book and it just helped solidify her belief that her kid would be just fine.  But for every highly successful dyslexic, there are probably 100 (or more) others who aren't successful, for whom the disabling side of dyslexia has been crippling.

 

So I guess my rambling point here is that, yes, there is a positive side to dyslexia, but that doesn't mean that it is not a disabling condition that needs as much remediation as you can manage. 

[OneStepAtATime]

I have mixed feelings about The Dyslexic Advantage.  On the one hand, my son fits their description of kids with M-strengths perfectly, so we're in the group that the book targets.  On the other hand, there's a lot about dyslexia that doesn't feel like a gift.  It is a disability and the disabling aspects really should be remediated as much as possible so that the child can have a shot at finding his gifts. 

 

There is a whole lot of work that goes into that remediation, even for highly gifted dyslexics.  And I don't think that is adequately reflected in book.

 

I have a friend who has a kid with dyslexia.  The kid is in school and the mother is taking a very passive approach to remediation.  The kid is 11yo and can barely read.  The justification is that the grandfather is also dyslexic and is highly successful.  Then the mother read the book and it just helped solidify her belief that her kid would be just fine.  But for every highly successful dyslexic, there are probably 100 (or more) others who aren't successful, for whom the disabling side of dyslexia has been crippling.

 

So I guess my rambling point here is that, yes, there is a positive side to dyslexia, but that doesn't mean that it is not a disabling condition that needs as much remediation as you can manage. 

I agree, like DD13 said this year, she loves that she can think outside the box and has amazing 3D spatial abilities...but she hates that reading and spelling and writing have been such a struggle and even though Barton has really turned things around she is so far behind and reading still takes her time, much longer than her peers, that she sometimes hates being dyslexic.

 

I am grateful for the book because I needed to see the positive again, not only focusing on the downside.  But it CAN make it seem like things will just suddenly turn around and life will be fantastic as soon as you find their strengths.  That can lead to a lot of false hopes, belief that remediation will be easy, unrealistic expectations about what they can do and when they will achieve it (if ever), as well as what EKS mentioned with regard to thinking there is no need to really press remediation.  They will be fine once they get out of school....  Definitely the book can be a real help.  I am so grateful that they wrote it.  But I think it needs to be coupled with other books that also help with realistic plans, expectations and specific remediation options.

[Erin]

I guess I'm not getting that at all…

 I haven't seen anywhere where there's going to be some sort of miracle cure, or unrealistic expectations, or anything.  For that matter, they even say how it's so vital to start remediation early.  (Which, again, really resonated with me because it was amidst much wailing and gnashing of teeth that we did so much work at home while he was still schooling, and read a TON once we were homeschooling.  It was nice to be vindicated.  lol)

 

And really, all of their case studies, even the success-stories, started out with how much so-and-so had struggled to read.  

[OneStepAtATime]

I guess I'm not getting that at all…

 I haven't seen anywhere where there's going to be some sort of miracle cure, or unrealistic expectations, or anything.  For that matter, they even say how it's so vital to start remediation early.  (Which, again, really resonated with me because it was amidst much wailing and gnashing of teeth that we did so much work at home while he was still schooling, and read a TON once we were homeschooling.  It was nice to be vindicated.  lol)

 

And really, all of their case studies, even the success-stories, started out with how much so-and-so had struggled to read.  

I didn't get that reaction from reading it either.  But others I recommended the book to really have.  Maybe they aren't reading in depth, just skimming parts of it or something.  I was shocked the first time someone took away that message.  it made me realize that when I recommend that book I also need to recommend other books that might help them see more clearly that they need to be in this for the long haul and how critical remediation is.

 

I honestly am still very grateful for this book, though, and if you read many of my past posts it is one I consistently recommend.  

[EKS]

And really, all of their case studies, even the success-stories, started out with how much so-and-so had struggled to read.  

 

This is true, but what it doesn't emphasize is the remediation aspect.  It just gives the sense that the eventual success with reading was due to a different developmental timeline and didn't come about through hard work.  I get that the nitty gritty details of remediation aren't the point of the book, but not everyone is going to read it that way. 

 

Because of this issue, I always recommend that people read the book Overcoming Dyslexia first.

 

[Erin]

Again, not at all what I got from the book.  

Someone spent hours in the library working their way through a spelling course and learning to read when they were in college.  Someone else (Anne Rice maybe?) had to take remedial English classes to be up to speed for her writing classes and so on.  

[Heathermomster]

I'm not certain that handing over a dyslexia book to an un-remediated adult dyslexic with major self esteem issues would result with a happy book review.  My guess is that she thumbed through the book and gave it back.  How many such adults do you know that purposefully read books?

 

I have a friend in her late 50s that is dyslexic/maths disabled and raised 5 children.  Her youngest is 19 yo and a great kid.  I've discussed college accommodations and testing with her to assist her son and she won't do it.  She's simply a great mom with hangups.  Sometimes people hamstring their kids due to their own personal insecurities.

 

I agree with EKS, my homeschool mom hero.  I prefer and recommend Overcoming Dyslexia first.  The Dyslexic Advantage is great for after you are well into your remediation groove and the first phase of remediation dust has started to settle.

[OneStepAtATime]

I'm not certain that handing over a dyslexia book to an un-remediated adult dyslexic with major self esteem issues would result with a happy book review.  My guess is that she thumbed through the book and gave it back.  How many such adults do you know that purposefully read books?

 

I have a friend in her late 50s that is dyslexic/maths disabled and raised 5 children.  Her youngest is 19 yo and a great kid.  I've discussed college accommodations and testing with her to assist her son and she won't do it.  She's simply a great mom with hangups.  Sometimes people hamstring their kids due to their own personal insecurities.

 

I agree with EKS, my homeschool mom hero.  I prefer and recommend Overcoming Dyslexia first.  The Dyslexic Advantage is great for after you are well into your remediation groove and the first phase of remediation dust has started to settle.

In hindsight I agree I made a mistake.  But I gave her the audio recording with the book in case she preferred to listen instead of reading and she had asked what books I had read on the subject.   And she does read.  I also sent her a couple of website links.  She seemed receptive at first.  I thought something more positive might help her see that her kids really were bright and capable, they just learned differently, and that maybe she would also see that all the people who believe she is very intelligent and capable are not crazy.  But yes, I made a mistake.

[Heathermomster]

In hindsight I agree I made a mistake.  But I gave her the audio recording with the book in case she preferred to listen instead of reading and she had asked what books I had read on the subject.   And she does read.  I also sent her a couple of website links.  She seemed receptive at first.  I thought something more positive might help her see that her kids really were bright and capable, they just learned differently, and that maybe she would also see that all the people who believe she is very intelligent and capable are not crazy.  But yes, I made a mistake.

I don't think you made a mistake.  You gave her an audio.  Some people just have to come to this knowledge on their own.  Your friend sounds like she's having to work through a lot of issues.  It is very frustrating that dyslexia is not being properly dealt with when so many people struggle and there are research based helps. 

[rbk mama]

We loved this book.  It really enabled us to appreciate DS's strengths.  I didn't feel the main message was that dyslexics are all superstars, but rather that they each have unique strengths that should be cultivated and appreciated.  I also didn't see an implication about intelligence.  I have a very good friend who is dyslexic and I'd say is of "average intelligence" as seen in traditional academic areas, but has wonderful strengths in art and creative problem solving.  I think its realistic to expect parents to look for unique talents in their dyslexic children and encourage them. 

I hadn't realized that some parents are taking the book to mean that remediation is no longer that important!  :crying:  That's so sad for the child.  I agree there is no way around plain hard work in remediation.  This book gives some well needed hope and encouragement in the process though.

[merry gardens]

It's been a while since I read this book. I like it! But i've read lots and lots about dyslexia--and this book is part of the way to balance everything and put dyslexia into perspective.

 

Perhaps I got this from the book, but I sometimes wonder when I look at my dyslexic son compared to his older brothers--did dyslexia help teach him the value of hard work and perseverance?

[SandyKC]

LOVE this discussion!  I haven't read DA yet, but it sounds like I ought to so I'll know when to recommend it to a parent (vs when might not be a good time).  For me, the biggest encouragement when we started was "The Gift of Dyslexia" from the standpoint of seeing the positives in your child.  I agree with the poster who said it is still a LOT of work to remediate a child even if he's 2E.  There is also the factor of the severity of dyslexia since it also ranges from mild to severe.  For kids who have extreme struggles with learning to read, I think they sometimes also have the most notable strengths -- polar ends of the spectrum in gifts and deficits. It's so helpful to look at each child to see what the individual child's gifts are and I think it's critical to cultivate those gifts for the sake of the child's esteem and direction in life.  Although we struggled mightily when my son was learning to read, he also had a great ability to remember all kinds of scientific information, which has served him very well throughout college.  It helps that he pursued a science-based degree too. ;-)  He just started his first job yesterday in a career I expect he'll LOVE and he'll be using his strengths (and doing very little in the way of reading and writing), so it worked out well for us.  It is such a huge key to really focus on the individual child, to work on the deficit areas, and to build up the strengths.  I probably should have put more about having a strength-based focus in my own book, but maybe partnering it with DA will be the best way I can go for helping out new moms just beginning this homeschooling and overcoming dyslexia adventure! :-D  Think I'll go check if my library has DA. ;-)

[Erin]

It's been a while since I read this book. I like it! But i've read lots and lots about dyslexia--and this book is part of the way to balance everything and put dyslexia into perspective.

 

Maybe that's why I'm not seeing the same things a few others have mentioned.  I can't think of any subject, really, where I read a single book on the subject.  Everything I read becomes a part of the greater fabric of my understanding and impressions...  

And THIS book gave that fabric a huge splash of bright, lime green in the midst of all the brown I'd read before.  ;)

[EKS]

I pulled out my copy of The Dyslexic Advantage and discovered that they did mention this:

 

We shared Max's story because we want you to see what dyslexic children with impressive M-strengths look like while they are still developing--before their mature talents are fully apparent.  While it is enormously helpful to look at the childhoods of successful dyslexic adults, sometimes the perspective provided by hindsight can make their successes seem almost inevitable--as if their challenges weren't really so severe, and they were never really at risk of failure.  Somehow these stories can lack the power to convince us that the slow, awkward, inarticulate, inattentive and dyslexic early elementary child before us might actually have a chance to become one of the great engineers, architects, designers, mechanics, inventors, surgeons, or builders of the twenty-first century.  Yet this is often unquestionably true.

 

The Eides get it--they really do.  The work they're doing has been enormously helpful to 2E children, particularly those with dyslexia.  I'm not bashing the book with my previous comments--I just use caution when recommending the book to parents who are newly dealing with dyslexia.  The book is better suited to those who have been dealing with remediation for a while--those who need a boost to see that there might be light at the end of the tunnel.

[raptor_dad]

The Eides get it--they really do.  The work they're doing has been enormously helpful to 2E children, particularly those with dyslexia.  I'm not bashing the book with my previous comments--I just use caution when recommending the book to parents who are newly dealing with dyslexia.  The book is better suited to those who have been dealing with remediation for a while--those who need a boost to see that there might be light at the end of the tunnel.

 

I strongly agree with everything above but I wasn't looking for clear remediation advice.

 

DS7 is 2e. We have a school ASD diagnosis which the Early Childhood Special Ed people granted with a wink since it was clear we needed services but it wasn't clear why.

 

The books that were most helpful for us were Mary Kurcinka "Raising Your Spirited Child", the Eides' "Mislabeled Child" and "Dyslexic Advantage", and Thomas West's "In the Mind's Eye".

 

DS has a cluster of symptoms that overlaps with ASD except the core social deficits. Likewise, he has all the dyslexic traits except the reading ones... shrug. So, on the whole DS is a very strong VSL with a strong dose of social anxiety and SPD.

 

The above books gave us a workable framework, if not a clear set of interventions. The Eides' books were particularly useful for providing an academic framework for considering  his deficits. Interventions were more clear with this scaffolding than just reading ASD, ADHD, Dyslexia, VSL, SPD or whatever books.