Your opinion--babies in checkout lanes

[Aura]

This really isn't a WWYD, but more of a WWYT (What Would You Think).

 

Suppose that you had an infant (sits in the front seat of the buggy or in a carrier), and you also used WIC. Your checking out with all your WIC products (Which means, only you can do this. You can't pass this off on someone else.), and your baby is crying.

 

Would you prefer an employee (say, another cashier or maybe a courtesy clerk with no customers) to hold the baby while you checked out, assuming they asked first? Would you feel pressured to say yes, since your baby is crying?

 

Would your answer differ if you were a young mom, with little parenting experience?

 

I'm training to be a cashier, and I've noticed several other cashiers and courtesy clerks holding the babies that come through the lines, so I'm just trying to get some insight. I know how *I* would feel and such, but I was wondering about other moms.

 

Thanks!

 

Edited to add: I think I didn't explain well. The cashier holding the baby is NOT the same person who is running the register. It's another cashier, or other employee, who isn't busy with other customers at the moment. 

 

Also, I only used WIC because apparently around here, it's a very time-consuming process with vouchers, not cards, and it can't be handed off for someone else to do. Paying in any other form seems to take CONSIDERABLE less time than paying with WIC. And every customer that has come through with WIC has been a mom a baby in tow. The process seems even longer if the baby happens to be fussy (which not all are!)

 

The situation is not intended as a slight against using WIC. Just highlighting a situation that I've observed.

[Guest inoubliable]

I guess I would feel grateful if someone offered to help me out while I was trying to complete a transaction with a squalling infant. I'd take them up on the offer.  

[Ravin]

No, but more than once I put my baby in a sling and nursed in the checkout line.

 

I don't think a cashier is doing a service to handle the baby with dirty money-hands.

 

But attempting to entertain upset baby? Sure! Gritting teeth and ignoring the noise, or putting to unload the cart onto the belt while the mom holds the baby? Absolutely.

[Arcadia]

I'll politely say no. Both my kids cry at times while in their double stroller. I'll just pay up and move out fast. My oldest was born when I was 32. I had experienced holding screaming nieces and nephews (hungry or need diaper change) since I was a kid.

 

I haven't seen cashiers carrying babies though at checkout lines. I've seen cashiers on tea break carrying babies of regular customers for a short while as they chat.

 

ETA:

Japan airlines stewardess did take turns holding my older boy when he was an infant all the way from Tokyo to SFO. However a crying baby on a plane is a different situation and we were at the bassinet row just behind the cabin crew's kitchen.

 

A Korean lady chef held my younger boy when he was an infant while we ate dinner at her family restaurant. My family was the only customer at that time. She was expert at swaddling babies :lol:

[vonfirmath]

I would prefer my baby fuss in the cart while I finished my checkout than to hand them off to people I don't really know.

 

I may even say No if you offered. Your offering would be awkward and make me think "Oh something's wrong with my baby fussing" I don't even let the store push my cart if the baby was in it! (if I decided I needed the help, I picked up baby and held her)

 

It'd be just as awkward as if you picked up my purse to hold the wallet open for me to put the card back into. If it happened too often I'd go shop elsewhere.

 

I'd rather you helped out in store-related ways. Holding the receipt as mentioned. Putting bags into the cart.

[Prairie~Phlox]

I say no, don't offer, let the mom figure it out, get the transaction done and move on.  Most cashiers are monitored by how quick they can ring customers up.  Plus, you will just annoy the people behind her if it takes even longer.

[Upennmama]

I think an offer can't really hurt, and might be helpful. In your shoes, if a kid were really screaming, I mmight just offer to hold the baby for a sec, or just make a sympathetic face and smile. And try to hurry! :)

[myfunnybunch]

I would probably say (or would have said, as my "baby" is nine), "No thank you," to a cashier or clerk I did not know.

 

However, I often shopped at the same store when my guys were little. I might have said yes if I thought it would calm baby, assuming the cashier was someone I'd seen and spoken to regularly.

 

I never felt pressured to say yes to people who offered to hold my kids, not even as a first-time mom. I usually said no, thanks.

 

I've never seen a cashier or courtesy clerk holding a baby for a customer at our grocery store, and think it seems a little weird, but the desk staff at my dd's summer camps or at the pool we frequented often offered to hold my little ones for me while I paid or helped the girls.

 

Not sure what WIC has to do with it. I would imagine that any parent at the grocery store with an infant needs to be the one to shop and check out, no matter how they're paying, or they wouldn't be standing in line with a fussy infant.

 

Cat

 

 

[Julie of KY]

I'm not sure how I'd feel about an offer to help, but I'd turn it down if I didn't know you.

[Desert Strawberry]

I wear my babies in a carrier. I don't recall having this problem in a very long time. I think I would appreciate the offer of help, even if it were declined.

[Hunter's Moon]

When I was a cashier, I would have never felt comfortable holding a customer's child. Legally, I didn't think it would be good for the company if something happened to said child while I was holding them, or while they were being passed between the parent and myself. The only time I touched a child was when the mother turned around for one second and the child stood up and almost toppled out of the carriage's seat. 

 

In those situations, I would say "awww, what's wrong sweetie?" to the child, even if they were too young to answer. A form of sympathy for the child and mother. 

[Plink]

I can't imagine a checkout clerk having enough time to hold a baby. They usually start scanning as soon as the first item is on the belt.

 

I would tell any cashier who asked, "no thanks."

[Hunter's Moon]

Not sure what WIC has to do with it. I would imagine that any parent at the grocery store with an infant needs to be the one to shop and check out, no matter how they're paying, or they wouldn't be standing in line with a fussy infant.

 

Cat

 

When using WIC, the item has to be rung up, the exact price has to be written on the check, the one using WIC has to endorse the check, and then it must be put through the check machine. 

 

I only handled WIC checks for formula, but if they have multiple checks (one check for 2 cans, another for 3 cans, etc.) they would have to be done in separate transactions. 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

No. Be as efficient and professional as possible so Mom can spend the least amount of time possible checking out.

[Murphy101]

I don't think WIC has anything to do with it.

 

Babies cry. I'd expect the mom to handle it herself however she wants.

 

I've never had anyone hold my babies for me unless dh was with me. *shrug*

[Paige]

I would be uncomfortable with that and would refuse.

[Ravin]

I would probably say (or would have said, as my "baby" is nine), "No thank you," to a cashier or clerk I did not know.

 

However, I often shopped at the same store when my guys were little. I might have said yes if I thought it would calm baby, assuming the cashier was someone I'd seen and spoken to regularly.

 

I never felt pressured to say yes to people who offered to hold my kids, not even as a first-time mom. I usually said no, thanks.

 

I've never seen a cashier or courtesy clerk holding a baby for a customer at our grocery store, and think it seems a little weird, but the desk staff at my dd's summer camps or at the pool we frequented often offered to hold my little ones for me while I paid or helped the girls.

 

Not sure what WIC has to do with it. I would imagine that any parent at the grocery store with an infant needs to be the one to shop and check out, no matter how they're paying, or they wouldn't be standing in line with a fussy infant.

 

Cat

In states with the check system, unless they dragged someone else to a WIC appointment to cosign, only the mom or parent who took the child to that appointment can sign the checks.

[Crimson Wife]

I don't even particularly like casual friends and extended relatives holding my babies so I would definitely not like a stranger doing it.

[Alice]

I never minded when someone asked if they could hold my babies when they were crying. I usually said no because my kids would have cried more if a stranger was holding them. But unless the person seemed to pressure me or get annoyed that the kid was crying I just felt like they were trying to be nice. 

 

I think a lot of these kinds of situations it all depends on the tone and attitude of the person. Someone can ask if they can "help" in a way that makes you feel like you are screwing up and they want you to know it or they can offer help that maybe you don't even want but do it in a nice way that makes you feel thankful even if you don't need the help. 

 

[nd293]

I would appreciate the offer and take them up on it if it helped my baby. When we lived in the Middle East ds (who was born there) was comfortable being held by strangers until 8 months and after that he hated it.

[Arcadia]

What I do appreciate when my kids were younger was the cashier asking if I need help out. Here if I need help out at the stores, a guy would push my cart to my car and help me load my purchases into the trunk. Even without my kids, they ask me if I need help especially at Trader Joes.

[ErinE]

This is awful, but I wouldn't hold the baby for liability reasons. I worked for a company that expressly forbade its employees from holding babies because of the risk.

 

As a mom, I'd rather not have a stranger hold my child. I'd rather the person help by checking me out quickly.

[Mrs Mungo]

This really isn't a WWYD, but more of a WWYT (What Would You Think).

 

Suppose that you had an infant (sits in the front seat of the buggy or in a carrier), and you also used WIC. Your checking out with all your WIC products (Which means, only you can do this. You can't pass this off on someone else.), and your baby is crying.

 

Would you prefer an employee (say, another cashier or maybe a courtesy clerk with no customers) to hold the baby while you checked out, assuming they asked first?

No. I have an immune compromised child. I wouldn't want you passing around whatever germs you might have acquired throughout a day of dealing with the public.

 

Would you feel pressured to say yes, since your baby is crying?

Yes.

 

Would your answer differ if you were a young mom, with little parenting experience?

Hm...I don't think so.

 

It would probably be better to figure out if there is a more efficient way of checking their groceries.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

I had 3 babies / toddlers with me at all times and I always preferred when people would just ignore us when things were crazy.  What's really odd is that men and others would ignore and try not took look or whatever, but it was ALWAYS the women that were old enough to be moms or grandmas that would be the rudest.  Those are the ones you'd think could give you some respect/courtesy, but nope...  They were the ones to give dirty looks or shake their heads. :huh:

 

I can remember when Dh was out of town once and I had all 3 with me and we went to the grocery store.  These 2 women gave me the hardest time and I remember leaving the store crying.  I mean it was a grocery store for goodness sake.  We didn't just ruin their dinner at a restaurant or ruin a wedding. :glare:  

[happypamama]

No, but more than once I put my baby in a sling and nursed in the checkout line.

 

I don't think a cashier is doing a service to handle the baby with dirty money-hands.

 

But attempting to entertain upset baby? Sure! Gritting teeth and ignoring the noise, or putting to unload the cart onto the belt while the mom holds the baby? Absolutely.

Yes to all of this.

[MomtoCandJ]

As a former cashier... and mother of an infant on WIC (MI has EBT cards for WIC though), I wouldn't touch the baby (dirty money hands and liability) think of other things to calm the baby like making faces, silly noises and talking

[momto10blessings]

No I wouldn't let a cashier hold my baby. Baby can cry for a few minutes, no big deal

[momto10blessings]

As a former cashier... and mother of an infant on WIC (MI has EBT cards for WIC though), I wouldn't touch the baby (dirty money hands and liability) think of other things to calm the baby like making faces, silly noises and talking

Why don't all states have cards? I feel so bad for moms sorting all those dumb checks.

[happypamama]

I would probably say (or would have said, as my "baby" is nine), "No thank you," to a cashier or clerk I did not know.

 

However, I often shopped at the same store when my guys were little. I might have said yes if I thought it would calm baby, assuming the cashier was someone I'd seen and spoken to regularly.

 

I never felt pressured to say yes to people who offered to hold my kids, not even as a first-time mom. I usually said no, thanks.

 

I've never seen a cashier or courtesy clerk holding a baby for a customer at our grocery store, and think it seems a little weird, but the desk staff at my dd's summer camps or at the pool we frequented often offered to hold my little ones for me while I paid or helped the girls.

 

Not sure what WIC has to do with it. I would imagine that any parent at the grocery store with an infant needs to be the one to shop and check out, no matter how they're paying, or they wouldn't be standing in line with a fussy infant.

 

Cat

Well, in theory, if I chose, I could leave the groceries and my debit card with my 12yo and have her finish checking out while I held the baby. But with WIC, I couldn't do that; I would have to do it myself.

 

In reality, I wear the baby and if I need extra hands for a little one, my big kids help. I would not feel comfortable with someone I didn't know holding my baby, although I would not mind someone who tried to say hi or smile at the baby.

[sassenach]

I would NOT train employees to offer to hold babies. I don't think it's appropriate.

[MomtoCandJ]

Why don't all states have cards? I feel so bad for moms sorting all those dumb checks.

Had to use those dumb checks on GA, I'm not going to say how much was wasted because you had to the whole check at once or completely forfeit those benefits. I love the cards because you can get just what you need at that time and it's a lot faster

[Mergath]

I certainly wouldn't have minded a cashier holding my baby.  The cashier's hands wouldn't have been any dirtier than the front seat of the cart I would have had dd sitting in, after all. ;)  I've never had a cashier offer, though.  Even when I was on WIC, they were usually much busier than I was, scanning everything.  Signing the check things only takes a second.

[AimeeM]

I know my feelings on this are pretty geographical (is that a word? Lol). I wouldn't mind. It isn't uncommon at all here, it seems, to offer to hold a baby, ask to hold a baby, touch a child's head, make funny faces at the whining toddler ahead of you so that mom can check out in peace, etc.

[myfunnybunch]

Well, in theory, if I chose, I could leave the groceries and my debit card with my 12yo and have her finish checking out while I held the baby. But with WIC, I couldn't do that; I would have to do it myself.

 

In reality, I wear the baby and if I need extra hands for a little one, my big kids help.

 

I guess this is what I was thinking in the first place--if there was another person with you, wouldn't you just ask them to help if you had to be the one to pay, WIC or not? :)

 

Cat

[Aura]

Thank you for all your comments!

 

In regards to WIC, yes, I'm in GA. And we have those checks to deal with. It's really the only scenario that I've seen (so far) that requires the mom's extended attention and it can't be passed off to anyone else. Every other situation, the mom can be helped by unloading groceries from the cart, and leaving her to take care of the child.

 

Right now, it's probably not normal to have so many people available to help, but there's a bunch of us training at once and there's a cashier plus two baggers on one register, and if it's not busy, then the three people on the register next might not have any customers! So there are plenty of people available to help!

 

I've seen several of the workers hold babies for moms. Personally, I never liked to let other people hold my babies, unless I KNEW they'd washed their hands, and that includes friends, so I would definitely NOT be keen on some stranger handling my kid. And yes, if I was asked, until I grew into my confidence as a mother, I would feel pressured. But I didn't know if this was normal.

 

Those are very good points brought up about liability, so I will probably ask a manager tomorrow if there's a policy regarding that.

[Catwoman]

No. Absolutely not.

 

Why would I let a complete stranger hold my baby?

[Aura]

Um is this in a grocery store or a WIC distribution center? Because I used WIC and there was NO exchanging of money. You walk in, show them your WIC card and they give you the groceries. I know WIC works differently in different areas, but for me there was no money handling there.

 

Regardless, I would not feel comfortable handing my baby over to a stranger to hold. Cashier or not. Just not something that makes me feel real comfortable. And then I don't know what they'll do next. Set the baby down on a dirty counter. Assuming all surfaces are clean, including cashier's hands I still wouldn't feel comfortable. Dh wouldn't let a strange hold our baby, either.

Grocery store.

 

The way WIC works in GA, you have these checks or vouchers. You can only get the things listed on those vouchers. You have to sign the check in front of the cashier. Most of the time, the moms are helping the cashier to get the right products with the right voucher (remember, we're training, so we're not very fast at this!). It's not the type of thing that the other trainees can help with.

[acsnmama]

I'd say no for sure. I know people offer to help, but I appreciate more hands off help. Like today, I went shopping with my 3 and we parked far from the cart return. The kids were already loaded up in their seats, a man with his wife and son noticed as they were getting ready to leave, so he offered to return the cart for me! I was very thankful!

[Joker]

I guess I'm one of those weird moms who didn't have a problem with lots of people holding my baby. I remember a waitress at a restaurant we frequented that would hold my oldest dd often. She was always right in front of us and I never had a problem with it. So, if I needed an extra hand at the grocery store, had a crying baby, and a worker offered to hold that baby I would be okay with it.

[Danestress]

 

Would your answer differ if you were a young mom, with little parenting experience?

 

 

Thanks!

No. In my experience, most Moms are pretty expert in their own babies after a couple weeks on the job, and experienced 'mothers of many' are still beginners with a baby they don't know.

 

I would not hand a baby to a stranger no matter how helpful she was trying to be and would not think my own youth or inexperience would make a difference.

[KungFuPanda]

I think it's refreshing that people are willing to actually help. Never in my life have I seen a cashier hold a baby during a transaction. It's nice that there are folks out there that offer actual, useful help and not just advice, sympathy, or judgement.

[TechWife]

 

Not sure what WIC has to do with it. I would imagine that any parent at the grocery store with an infant needs to be the one to shop and check out, no matter how they're paying, or they wouldn't be standing in line with a fussy infant.

 

 

When using WIC, the item has to be rung up, the exact price has to be written on the check, the one using WIC has to endorse the check, and then it must be put through the check machine. 

 

I only handled WIC checks for formula, but if they have multiple checks (one check for 2 cans, another for 3 cans, etc.) they would have to be done in separate transactions. 

 

 

In states with the check system, unless they dragged someone else to a WIC appointment to cosign, only the mom or parent who took the child to that appointment can sign the checks.

 

I agree that WIC doesn't have anything to do with it. Everyone who shops at a grocery store has to pay for their groceries (some even use multiple methods to do so), everyone who brings kids of any age to the grocery store has to take care of their kids. Sometimes these things take time. 

[SKL]

To be perfectly honest, I would be really irritated by the offer.  Not because I am bothered by strangers touching kids etc.  But because of my personal hang-ups about being offered help.  It always comes across to me as "you are obviously failing to handle all your responsibilities well, you might as well give up and let a better woman take over!"  Like I said, it is my own personal issue - but I suspect there are others out there with the same issue.

[SKL]

My kids didn't cry while shopping, but on the other hand, they didn't like being touched by strangers.  One time an older foreign lady was going all googoo over them and asked if she could touch them.  Before I could answer (I would have said yes), she extended her hand and my kid gave her the nastiest look and squirmed away.  I am sure they would hate it if I let some stranger hold them in a very hectic situation away from home.

[laundrycrisis]

A cashier should not handle customers' children.  Help the customer through the transaction.  She may be distracted.  Make it as easy and fast as possible for her, so she can get on with her day and attending to her child. 

[PrairieSong]

Can't you just help the customer unload the cart to speed things along if the baby is fussing? That's what I would do. I might talk to the baby or make faces or noises trying to distract him or her, but I wouldn't offer to hold a stranger's baby if I were the cashier, even though I love babies.

[aggieamy]

I certainly wouldn't have minded a cashier holding my baby.  The cashier's hands wouldn't have been any dirtier than the front seat of the cart I would have had dd sitting in, after all. ;)  I've never had a cashier offer, though.  Even when I was on WIC, they were usually much busier than I was, scanning everything.  Signing the check things only takes a second.

 

I think we're in the minorities here.  I don't know how WIC works but in a situation where I HAVE to be doing something else and the baby's crying then I'd make a quick judgement call.  If you passed my quick gut check then sure.  

 

Once when DS was about two months old we were driving across country.  We had dinner then I took DS to change him and DD to the bathroom.  I was holding DS and something happened (can't remember what - something broke or bathroom emergency or something) and DD needed my help.  She needed it quickly.  A lovely lady saw what was going on and saw me frantically looking around for someplace to put DS and offered to hold him.  She was an angel.  

[Veritaserum]

I've never used WIC, but I have had a screaming baby at the end of a grocery shopping trip. The best experience I had was when my 2mo was screaming (hungry and tried). I was in line with him and our cart. The manager came over and opened up a new lane just for me, had a bagger unload my cart contents onto the belt, and then had the bagger come out to my van and load the bags into the back. All I had to do was pay. I held my fussy baby. It was awesome. I love that store.

 

So, no, I wouldn't want a stranger to hold my baby. If your store ever brainstorms ideas on how to help in your described scenario, suggest what my grocery store did for me. I do generally appreciate sympathetic looks or comments like, "Oh, it's ok, baby, Mama's almost done."

[Myeightkiddies]

The store may have a policy against employees holding customers' children.  Check with management before offering to do that. It is probably best, in my opinion, to have the mother figure out the situation herself. 

[MrsBasil]

I have used WIC with the checks.  I can not imagine the checker having the time to stop and hold my baby while they were dealing with the WIC stuff on their end, but if they could and had the time and wouldn't get in trouble with managment?  Sure. 

 

I wouldn't feel pressured to say yes or anything though.  It's not hard for me to say, "No, I've got it" or "Nah, she can cry" if I didn't want the baby to be held that day for some reason.

 

Once when DS was probably 18-19 months we went to a new Dr. and I had to fill out a ton of forms and give the front desk a bunch of stuff to copy and DS was not cooperating or happy to be there.  An older lady sitting in the waiting room started talking to him and they ended up walking all around the waiting room holding hands and he toddler talked to her and she talked back. For me it was a sweet and helpful moment from a lady who had probably BTDT.  However, I told this story on a different board and judging by the reaction...I'm in a minority when it comes to strangers interacting with my kids.  Also, she was possibly a kidnapper or diseased or both according to the other posters.  So my opinion should be taken with a grain of salt.  :lol: