Cindy in FL. Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 This morning the county road maintenance guys ran into our mailbox and knocked it down. They were apologetic and said they would fix it. We had a laugh about Monday mornings and I went to take my ds to an appointment. When we got back the mailbox was back in place. However, when I got my mail later there was a notice from the carrier letting me know the box was too low and would have to be fixed. Not wanting to involve dh because he works really hard as it is, I called the county office to explain the situation. I told them that the guys were really nice about it, but I would like the mailbox fixed properly. They said they would be out first thing in the morning. When I related this to dh tonight, the only thing he said was, "I hope they're not getting in trouble." I felt like he thought I was wrong to call and now these guys are going to be in trouble. Am I just being too sensitive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I wouldn't worry about it. The county maintenance guys are big boys and can handle the situation. I'm sure it's not the first mailbox that's ever been knocked down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 No, they broke it and it wasn't fixed to the USPS standards. It's not like you complained because you measured it yourself. It was compliant height before and they should fix it to compliant height, not that they'd probably think of that off the bat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 No? I think you did what anyone would do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 I try to take care of little things without involving dh because he's busy running two businesses. Sometimes I feel like I can't do anything right! Maybe ask your dh what he would have preferred for you to do (if something else). I feel like there is only one other option... for your dh to fix it himself. Unless you are able to do so yourself or have someone else like a neighbor you could have asked. So figure out if dh would have preferred to do it himself and then you know for next time to involve him. I hate being stuck in situations like that. I'm not a mind reader. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Why would it be your fault if they got in trouble? If they got in trouble it would be because they ran over your mailbox. Of course it is their responsibility to fix it right. You weren't being nasty about it (like some people might be). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I would not take it as him saying you did something wrong. I could totally see myself saying that I hope they don't get into trouble as well but it would have zero to do with my dh calling about them fixing it. It would just mean times are tough and they made a mistake so I hope they are allowed to fix it rather than being fired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in IN Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I think what you did was fine and complete reasonable! They broke it and should fix it correctly. I would address the comment directly with my dh. I would explain that I was trying to avoid extra work for him and ask if he preferred that I ask him to do it. Or at least ask what he meant by the comment. If you feel like you can't do anything right, it seems like it might be time to open up communication and discuss expectations a bit more. That's what I would suggest, but don't know if there are more factors that keep you from doing that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 If my dh wants to run the household, he can stay home and do so. If he wants me to do it, then he's going to have to let me do it. I'm not going to involve him in every little decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 I wouldn't want the guys to get in trouble either, so I understand the sentiment. I guess I feel like dh should have coupled the comment with something indicating he was glad I took care of it. I would not take it as him saying you did something wrong. I could totally see myself saying that I hope they don't get into trouble as well but it would have zero to do with my dh calling about them fixing it. It would just mean times are tough and they made a mistake so I hope they are allowed to fix it rather than being fired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I wouldn't want the guys to get in trouble either, so I understand the sentiment. I guess I feel like dh should have coupled the comment with something indicating he was glad I took care of it. Did you ask him? I would have said something about it and dh would have assured me he didn't mean what I thought he meant. I can't read his mind and he can't read mine so sometimes things get confusing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 I always appreciate your no nonsense style! Firm, fair, and kind with a dose of sassy thrown in. :) If my dh wants to run the household, he can stay home and do so. If he wants me to do it, then he's going to have to let me do it. I'm not going to involve him in every little decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I wouldn't want the guys to get in trouble either, so I understand the sentiment. I guess I feel like dh should have coupled the comment with something indicating he was glad I took care of it. My dh makes comments like that too. I try to just ignore it. I've discovered that my dh anyway doesn't really mean anything by the comments - they are throwaway comments of what he thought in the moment. Do I wish that he didn't make them? Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 He says he didn't mean it the way I took it. His conclusion to our discussion about it was to say that the only person in trouble was him. The guys and I were good. I swear he is such a pill sometimes! Did you ask him? I would have said something about it and dh would have assured me he didn't mean what I thought he meant. I can't read his mind and he can't read mine so sometimes things get confusing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted July 29, 2014 Author Share Posted July 29, 2014 Exactly. I tell myself all the time to just be quiet and let it go, but sometimes I open my mouth! Will I ever learn? My dh makes comments like that too. I try to just ignore it. I've discovered that my dh anyway doesn't really mean anything by the comments - they are throwaway comments of what he thought in the moment. Do I wish that he didn't make them? Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Yes, you're being too sensitive. I assume your husband is just wondering out loud if the guys might get a talking to about crashing into a mailbox. I can't imagine it having any serious consequences. Maintenance guys live for fixing things...it's literally their job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I don't know if sensitive is the right word - more like you are reading way too much into what he said. If my dh said, I hope they don't get in trouble, the only thing I would assume he meant was that . . . he hopes they don't get in trouble! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I say both situations are no biggie. The guys who broke the mailbox need to fix it according to standards (not set by you, but by the USPS.) Your dh was probably musing out loud how he would feel if he messed up like that. I would try not to take it personally. Something needed to be done. You handled it. Pat yourself on the back and move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 So what if he thought it was the wrong call? Reasonable people disagree. You called. Maybe he would not have. But whatever - you both make decisions everyday that the other might have decided differently, but busy people do not consult on everything. I would try not to take it personally because being married does not give people the same opinions and Instincts in every situation. If my husband were upset with my decision, that would upset me. But what your DH said sounds pretty mild. It doesn't sound like he was voicing a strong objection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I don't know if sensitive is the right word - more like you are reading way too much into what he said. If my dh said, I hope they don't get in trouble, the only thing I would assume he meant was that . . . he hopes they don't get in trouble! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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