Babysitting by a 12 year old: Update #75

[Jean in Newcastle]

The 12 year old in question is quite mature for her age and has been working with children at the Y for four years.  

 

So she's been asked to babysit two "very energetic" children (5 and 7) for 3 days - 7 am to 5 pm.  The deal was that the mother would be on the premises.  Now less than a week prior to the agreed on dates of the job, the mother says that she has to go into work and won't be there.  I'm not pleased.  I think that this puts a bit too much on a 12 year old.  Dd thinks that I'm worrying too much and don't believe in her.

 

So, we're not going to back out of the babysitting gig.  BUT - I want to know how much support I should give my dd and how to give that support.  The house she will be at is about a ten minute walk from our house.  

[zoobie]

I don't know but the hourly rate had better increase too!!!

[Flowing Brook]

Is it possible that the twelve year old could watch the kids at her house? That way if something came up her mother would be there to intervene. Or spend part of the day at the children's house and part of the day at the twelve year olds house?  I'd want to make sure there was a phone available.

 

ETA: I know in some states 12 is too young to be allowed to babysit alone.

[umsami]

I know times have changed, but I was babysitting for a 4 and 2 year old all day during the summer when I was that age.  Only made $1/hour too. 

 

I would probably plan to come over at lunch time each day and check on her.  I'd also probably plan on staying in the afternoon or for an hour or so if I felt she needed me.  You might want to help her brainstorm some activities for the kids for each day, too.

 

But, your DD might surprise you.  Sounds like she has a lot of good experience.  

[datgh]

If the 12 year old is very mature for her age, then I would be OK with it if Mom was only 10 minutes away in case of emergency or to answer the phone if questions arise.  I used to have a girl babysit for me when my kids where about 2 and 4 for two days every week during one summer. She was phenomenal.  She always brought games and craft projects to do with the kids.  She never even resorted to using the TV. It was halfway through the summer when I found out she was only 12 years old.  She was so mature and always had been. I had known her and her family for several years.  She was also several inches taller then me so that probably threw me off too!  :glare: My kids always said she was the best babysitter they ever had. 

 

[Desert Rat]

I would let dd know that I would be dropping by a couple times a day to check on her and make sure everything is going ok. At least the first day. 

I would be upset, too, about the change of plans and would expect her to make more money. But, I understand there isn't much to do about it now without canceling. 

Things I would ask: Is she ok with making breakfast and lunch? Is there any aspect of this job she is concerned about? Keeping kids entertained? What to do with meltdowns/tantrums/missing mom? 

I think it's a positive commentary on how much your daughter is trusted so much by this family. Good job, Mom! 

 

[Annie G]

When our older girls started babysitting all day (they were also 12), what really helped them was to make up a daily schedule. It was loose, but structured enough so THEY could see the end of the day coming rather than just one loooong day. So for instance they did outdoor games, then came inside to do a craft. Then it was snack time, story time, and playing a board game.   Then lunch at noon followed by a 30 minute tv time, and then back outside for play....that kind of thing.   It's super easy to adjust the schedule if the kids are playing and want to continue.  

 

I think they learned this in their Red Cross class because they came home from that with a backpack and some sample schedules and a list of things to keep in the backpack...art supplies, books, a puzzle, etc. 

 

I can remember the girls calling and feeling like the day was never going to end. But once they saw that just one snack and two more activities and the parents would come home...that seemed easier than TWO MORE HOURS of this!!

 

You're nearby and willing to support her. She'll do a great job and will be a popular sitter once the word gets out!

[mamakelly]

That's a long day for a 12 year old without any back up.

 

[Guest submarines]

She should charge competitive rates. If she wants to do the job, I say, go for it!

 

I'd give as much support as needed, which would mean remaining within reach and being able to walk there to provide non-emergency relief. And of course I'd be available to provide support / guidance in case of an emergency.

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would want to know every thing she is responsible for -with or without the mom on site- such as meals, cleaning dishes (from said meals), brushing or overseeing brushing teeth in the morning? etc.

 

I think she's asking a lot of a 12 yr old, regardless of maturity. It sounds exhausting to me.

It is exhausting for me.  But dd is an energizer bunny.  But still, the potential is there for exhaustion.  I'm thinking that she won't like it but I will be there for the first  hour - I might take a book and try and disappear into the background but I think I will be there.  

[Starr]

When dd babysat 4 lively kids at 11 or 12 I would check in by phone and stop by. When they went on a walk I went along. She has many funny stories of how they all would get out of bed and head one direction or another.  They were fine.  It may be a long 3 days but she'll learn a lot. I think sometimes we sent along a game or movie so the kids would have something different to do.

[Jean in Newcastle]

She has a backpack ready with some games and crafts to take along.  

[Catwoman]

As others have already mentioned, I'm wondering...

 

Will she be paid extra because the mom won't be at home, when she originally said she would be there?

 

Will your dd have extra duties as a result of the mom not being there, like feeding the kids and cleaning up the kitchen afterward?

 

My biggest concern is that your dd should be paid substantially more for babysitting on her own than if she was acting as more of a mother's helper.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dd insists on not asking for more money.  I think she should get more.  But i also know that these people are cheap and that is the main reason they've hired her.  They used to call asking for a free "playdate" which we all knew was unpaid babysitting.  And yes, I know they are taking advantage and we've done some about it but they're also part of the Filipino community and there are "it takes a village" cultural things going on here.  

[Catwoman]

Dd insists on not asking for more money. I think she should get more. But i also know that these people are cheap and that is the main reason they've hired her. They used to call asking for a free "playdate" which we all knew was unpaid babysitting. And yes, I know they are taking advantage and we've done some about it but they're also part of the Filipino community and there are "it takes a village" cultural things going on here.

I would be annoyed because I would feel like the people were trying to cheat her, and although I would know I should let my kid handle it, I would probably speak with the mom about the new arrangements and remind her that my child should be paid more, based on the new circumstances, if my child was too uncomfortable to set a higher price.

 

Of course, if it was my ds, he would have already asked for more money on his own. He's not exactly shy that way. ;)

[JustEm]

Why does your dd insist on not asking for more money?  Does she have a legitimate reason for it or is she embarrassed to? Because part of being major and being able to handle paying jobs is not allowing to let people take advantage of you.  This is something I would put my foot down as a mother and say she either needs to ask for more money or reconsider her ability to handle the responsibility of working for pay.  It may sound harsh but its a life lesson people need to learn.  Dh never learned it and is extremely underpaid and overworked currently even though he is the most valuable person at his work.  I can't teach him that skill now and he has so far been unable to learn it himself and get his bosses to stop walking all over him.

 

Of course if she has an actual reason then ignore my comment entirely.

[ElizabethB]

The first hour will be easy, I would stop by to help with lunch and call to check each afternoon around 2 or 3 and make sure she knows she can call for advice or help as needed.

 

Twelve is a good babysitting age, old enough to be responsible for younger children but not yet caught up in teen stuff, although I know some good teens that don't and are still good babysitters.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Ugh I hate to say this but after hearing that now I'm wondering if she planned to leave your dd alone the whole time and was just waiting for your dd to accept the original offer. I hope that is not the case. Regardless of their cultural views, I don't think I like their attitude and would probably discourage dd from getting involved in any more babysitting with that family. Where do they draw the line? Didn't they ask her to do overnight sitting at one point?

Dh says that she can do it this time but no more after this.  He's fed up.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

Why does your dd insist on not asking for more money?  Does she have a legitimate reason for it or is she embarrassed to? Because part of being major and being able to handle paying jobs is not allowing to let people take advantage of you.  This is something I would put my foot down as a mother and say she either needs to ask for more money or reconsider her ability to handle the responsibility of working for pay.  It may sound harsh but its a life lesson people need to learn.  Dh never learned it and is extremely underpaid and overworked currently even though he is the most valuable person at his work.  I can't teach him that skill now and he has so far been unable to learn it himself and get his bosses to stop walking all over him.

 

Of course if she has an actual reason then ignore my comment entirely.

She's twelve and most people won't even hire her at this age so she feels like she should "work her way up".  

 

I feel that she should charge more.  So does dh.  But she's extremely stubborn.  And we feel like "ok, if you're going to be stubborn about that, then so be it."  

[Catwoman]

Ugh I hate to say this but after hearing that now I'm wondering if she planned to leave your dd alone the whole time and was just waiting for your dd to accept the original offer. I hope that is not the case. Regardless of their cultural views, I don't think I like their attitude and would probably discourage dd from getting involved in any more babysitting with that family. Where do they draw the line? Didn't they ask her to do overnight sitting at one point?

I have to admit that I had similar suspicions. Did the woman say she would be working at home, and then change her story to having to be at the office the whole time instead? It does seem kind of odd that she wouldn't have known what was going on, although I guess it's possible.

 

It's really bugging me that she didn't immediately offer to pay a higher rate, though. :glare:

 

I'm not a big believer in working for people who are known to be very cheap, because the woman probably won't even tip your dd for her services, and may very well add extra duties like "just a quick load of laundry" or "do a few dishes," or whatever she can think of, to be sure she's getting extra value for her money.

 

It concerns me that she might take advantage of your dd's good nature.

[chocolatechip]

I have to admit that I had similar suspicions. Did the woman say she would be working at home, and then change her story to having to be at the office the whole time instead? It does seem kind of odd that she wouldn't have known what was going on, although I guess it's possible.

 

It's really bugging me that she didn't immediately offer to pay a higher rate, though. :glare: THIS. THIS. THIS.

 

I'm not a big believer in working for people who are known to be very cheap, because the woman probably won't even tip your dd for her services, and may very well add extra duties like "just a quick load of laundry" or "do a few dishes," or whatever she can think of, to be sure she's getting extra value for her money.

 

It concerns me that she might take advantage of your dd's good nature.

All of this. x1000.

[Catwoman]

Dh says that she can do it this time but no more after this. He's fed up.

But that's all the more reason why she should tell the woman her rate will be higher. It's not as though she's going to work for her again in the future anyway.

 

Are you sure she is just stubborn, and not secretly feeling awkward about asking for more money?

 

You might also remind her that by working for a low price this time, she may be setting her rate for future babysitting clients in the neighborhood. Cheap Lady might recommend your dd to others, and if getting a bargain is important to her, you can bet she will brag to people that she can give them your dd's number because she's sweet and reliable, and works for a very cheap price -- and she may tell them exactly how much she paid for your dd's services.

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

Are you sure she is just stubborn, and not secretly feeling awkward about asking for more money?

 

 

Oh, I'm sure about the stubborn.  She didn't inherit that from me!   :leaving:

[Momling]

My 12 yr old babysits for two families each with two 5-7 yr old kids. She'll be fine!

[Dory]

I babysat three kids for a long weekend (nights included) at that age. By 13 I was babysitting kids a few miles down the road once a week. I always had a backpack with emergency numbers and some games, books and movies for the kids. They loved seeing something new. I made sure to have the movies approved by the parents before they left though. It's a huge confidence booster knowing that others see you as mature enough to take care of their kids. I really worked hard to fill that role to the best of my ability. I'm sure she'll be fine, just make sure she knows she can call if something is stressing her out and she doesn't know what to do. My long weekend one I hit a snag with food a couple days in and wasn't sure what to do. I called my aunt and I am SO glad she didn't bail me out, she talked me through it over the phone and I kept going.

[Liz CA]

I'd check in every couple of hours, perhaps go over at lunch time or mid afternoon to break up the day a bit for all involved.

I agree that from 7 a.m. until 5 p.m. is really long for a 12yo to be alone with two energetic kids she does not know very well - or does she? Is this the first time she will be completely alone with the children?  I hope she is paid well.

 

ETA: Just read that some people here think she should ask for more. I sort of respect your dd's attitude that you have to work yourself into a reputation. I cannot speak to the mother's truthfulness but that's a different story, perhaps. Your dd must have very conscientious parents from whom she learned... :)

[kiwik]

Here it isn't legal to leave a 12 year old unsupervised let alone in charge of anyone else.

 

I would say no. The deal was the mother would be there if the mother is not going to be there she needs to find an actual adult to watch her kids. I can't see why anyone would leave their kids in the care of a 12 year old so I suspect she is really assuming you will be responsible for them.

[Cera]

This would really bug me.  If my 12 year old was acting as a mother's helper (the mom is home) then the mom is ultimately in charge and responsible for any major issues.  If my 12 year old is babysitting on her own (the mom is gone) then I would be the one stuck ultimately in charge and responsible for any issues (because really, 12 is mature but not enough to handle a major crisis).  I would not want to be stuck being responsible for someone else's kids for three days.

[NotSoObvious]

Here's how I try to look at these situations. What are the chances of something happening? Are the boys active? Do they fight? Is there a pool? A large swing set? What would she do if someone splits a lip? Breaks a bone? Chokes? 

 

Is the risk of her feeling responsible if she is unable to properly attend to an emergency outweighed by the confidence and experience she'll gain? 

 

It sounds like you think she can handle it and you have some good strategies. If the benefits outweigh the possible risks, then go for it, giving her the support she needs. 

 

However, I would have no problem canceling on this mom, even if it was at the last minute. She changed the game, not you.

 

 

[vonfirmath]

Here it isn't legal to leave a 12 year old unsupervised let alone in charge of anyone else.

 

I would say no. The deal was the mother would be there if the mother is not going to be there she needs to find an actual adult to watch her kids. I can't see why anyone would leave their kids in the care of a 12 year old so I suspect she is really assuming you will be responsible for them.

 

Kiwik may have a point here. She's expecting you to be responsible for her kids.

 

I've got a very energetic 7 year old. He's JUST NOW getting to the point where he doesn't dart off in public, etc. So if she goes out for a walk, etc, she needs to be prepared to hold hands or have some other method of making sure they don't get too far away.

 

[Guest submarines]

She's twelve and most people won't even hire her at this age so she feels like she should "work her way up".  

 

I feel that she should charge more.  So does dh.  But she's extremely stubborn.  And we feel like "ok, if you're going to be stubborn about that, then so be it."  

 

I agree with your DD on working her way up and getting experience. She obviously likes working with children, so she's doing what she loves while gaining more experience. And she's getting a little bit of money. 

 

The only reason I wouldn't be supportive if those people were not a reliable reference. But if they are, it is a good business move for your DD.

 

[SKL]

I think it should be enough if she has a cell phone and can contact you immediately in the event of an emergency.  (Assuming you are at home.)

 

But, check the laws and make sure it is not illegal for a 12yo to be babysitting "alone."

[SKL]

I had my first paid babysitting gig at 10 and took care of my baby brother at age 9 (both before the days of cell phones and without a parent in close proximity), so I do not believe 12 is too young to care for school-aged kids.  It was pretty normal when I was growing up.  Based on my experience, the most important thing is whether the 12yo knows when to seek adult assistance.  If a kid breaks an arm, will the 12yo go ask a neighbor for help (or call Mom if she's nearby), or will she freak out and do something unhelpful?  Everything else is relatively inconsequential with a couple of school-aged kids.

[Slache]

I would be annoyed because I would feel like the people were trying to cheat her, and although I would know I should let my kid handle it, I would probably speak with the mom about the new arrangements and remind her that my child should be paid more, based on the new circumstances, if my child was too uncomfortable to set a higher price.

 

Of course, if it was my ds, he would have already asked for more money on his own. He's not exactly shy that way. ;)

If she's mature enough to babysit then she's mature enough to make the decision about pay without mom's intervention.

 

Ugh I hate to say this but after hearing that now I'm wondering if she planned to leave your dd alone the whole time and was just waiting for your dd to accept the original offer. I hope that is not the case. Regardless of their cultural views, I don't think I like their attitude and would probably discourage dd from getting involved in any more babysitting with that family. Where do they draw the line? Didn't they ask her to do overnight sitting at one point?

:iagree:  She blatantly lied to get you to agree. She doesn't deserve your daughters help. I would overrule her and tell her she's not allowed to go.

 

Here's how I try to look at these situations. What are the chances of something happening? Are the boys active? Do they fight? Is there a pool? A large swing set? What would she do if someone splits a lip? Breaks a bone? Chokes? 

 

Is the risk of her feeling responsible if she is unable to properly attend to an emergency outweighed by the confidence and experience she'll gain? 

 

It sounds like you think she can handle it and you have some good strategies. If the benefits outweigh the possible risks, then go for it, giving her the support she needs. 

 

However, I would have no problem canceling on this mom, even if it was at the last minute. She changed the game, not you. Bingo.

Exactly. This could be dangerous, and she doesn't need that. It's not just accidents either. There are bad people in this world.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It is legal to babysit at 12 here.  Dd has completed a babysitting course that went over laws in addition to other more practical things.  

 

The mother does not expect me to watch the kids.  Dd has watched these kids by herself before.  Just not all day for 3 days in a row.

 

She will have a cell phone.

 

The plan originally was not to have dd as a mother's helper as such.  The mother was going to be on the premises but working and not involved in what the kids were doing.  I liked the idea of having her there in case of emergency, though.  

 

Dd called me one other time when she was babysitting for them and one of the children set off the burglar alarm.  But since I didn't know the code, I could not be of any help.  The mother was able to turn off the alarm remotely.  (Dd had called her first but the mother did not have her cell phone on and dd had to leave a message.)

[Slache]

mother did not have her cell phone on

This is not good!

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

That's a long day for a 12 year old without any back up.

 

This. I actually think it's a long day for a 12-year-old even WITH backup. That's a full-on, intensive, 10-hour day, three days in a row! If it were me, I wouldn't allow it, or I'd make the caveat that your DD may have to re-evaluate whether she can manage it after day 1. (But I completely respect that you're letting your DD manage this one.) Whatever happens after that is the mom's problem.

 

I also think this mom was planning on you being the responsible backup all along. What a shame :( And while I also respect that your DD believes she should work herself into a reputation, I also believe in being fairly compensated for the work you do and not undervaluing yourself. My mom has her own small business providing professional services, and she definitely undercharges her clients. She has gotten a lot of business via word of mouth for providing good value for the money, but I can also see that it affects how many of her clients treat her. 

[SKL]

This. I actually think it's a long day for a 12-year-old even WITH backup. That's a full-on, intensive, 10-hour day, three days in a row! If it were me, I wouldn't allow it, or I'd make the caveat that your DD may have to re-evaluate whether she can manage it after day 1. (But I completely respect that you're letting your DD manage this one.) Whatever happens after that is the mom's problem.

 

I also think this mom was planning on you being the responsible backup all along. What a shame :(

 

I don't think it's a shame to count on nearby adults to help out in an emergency.

 

If the 12yo needs help in other than an emergency, then she is not qualified to do the job she applied for.  And the 12yo's mom knows this and knows she's going to be a resource.  And what is wrong with being a resource to help your 12yo learn about taking care of children?

[SKL]

This is not good!

 

I disagree.  The kids are not ICU patients.  A non-SOS call can go to voice mail and be addressed later.  A life-or-death situation calls for a call to 911 in any case.

[SKL]

It's a shame if the nearby adult did not sign up for this responsibility and may have other things they need to do those days and therefore not want to stay home to be "on call."

 

OK, then the mom of the 12yo who does not want anything to do with the deal can say "no" at the outset.

 

When I was 17yo I called my mom in the middle of the night because an infant I was babysitting was having trouble breathing.  She knew exactly what to do.  Both of us were very glad I called.  The actual mom of the baby (age 18 and not very bright) would not have known what to do.

[Slache]

I disagree.  The kids are not ICU patients.  A non-SOS call can go to voice mail and be addressed later.  A life-or-death situation calls for a call to 911 in any case.

Yes, but to say you'll be available and turn your phone off is dishonest. This woman is untrustworthy.

[SKL]

Yes, but to say you'll be available and turn your phone off is dishonest. This woman is untrustworthy.

 

If a lie was told about the phone, I missed that part.  Obviously the mom did get the message soon enough because she called and remotely turned off the alarm.

 

A 12yo babysitter needs to be able to tell when to do more than leave a message in voice mail.

 

As far as I can tell, this was not an actual problem.  An inconvenience, sure, but babysitting is going to involve unpleasant moments.  That's why it's a paid job.

[SKL]

Well, anyway, what I'd do is sit my 12yo down and talk to her about the what-ifs of the new situation, and let her decide.

 

I think it's fine to agree on a provisional basis, with the option to say "no" after the 1st day if it proves too much.

 

Personally I would have much preferred to babysit without the parents on the premises.  The idea of the mom hearing every whimper and tussle would make me nervous.

[73349]

Here, kids under 14 can do "casual babysitting" but must be given a 30-minute break after five hours' consecutive work of any kind and may work no more than 8 hours in a day, so that would be illegal.

 

If the law about breaks didn't apply... I'd let her do it this time, and then when the mom asks again, require her to refuse.

[Catwoman]

I disagree. The kids are not ICU patients. A non-SOS call can go to voice mail and be addressed later. A life-or-death situation calls for a call to 911 in any case.

My ds is 14 and I still don't turn off my phone if he's not with me. Emergencies can happen in an instant.

 

In a case like this, where the kids are young and the babysitter is still a kid herself, it seems absolutely ridiculous and irresponsible of a parent to turn off her phone or let a call from the sitter go to voicemail.

 

And seriously, if one of your kids was hurt, would you really be fine with learning about it an hour later when you listened to your messages, even if the sitter had called 911? I certainly wouldn't. I would want to know immediately.

 

Realistically, there are also other reasons besides emergencies where the mom would need to be reached right away. What if one of the kids was upset and needed to talk to the mom? What if the babysitter did something wrong and the kids needed to tell their mom? (Obviously, I'm speaking in general here, not about Jean's dd!!!)

[QuirkyKapers]

It's the game plan change that bothers me.  What is going to happen if she isn't home by 3?  Dd will be stuck. 

[Guest submarines]

It's a shame if the nearby adult did not sign up for this responsibility and may have other things they need to do those days and therefore not want to stay home to be "on call."

 

Such job opportunities allow young kids to have valuable experiences they normally wouldn't have at their age. As a homeschooling mom of a 12 year old I consider such opportunities for personal and professional growth as important as academics and I view it as my responsibility to be the support person, which might include making sure I'm on call.

[SKL]

My ds is 14 and I still don't turn off my phone if he's not with me. Emergencies can happen in an instant.

 

In a case like this, where the kids are young and the babysitter is still a kid herself, it seems absolutely ridiculous and irresponsible of a parent to turn off her phone or let a call from the sitter go to voicemail.

 

And seriously, if one of your kids was hurt, would you really be fine with learning about it an hour later when you listened to your messages, even if the sitter had called 911? I certainly wouldn't. I would want to know immediately.

 

Realistically, there are also other reasons besides emergencies where the mom would need to be reached right away. What if one of the kids was upset and needed to talk to the mom? What if the babysitter did something wrong and the kids needed to tell their mom? (Obviously, I'm speaking in general here, not about Jean's dd!!!)

 

Guess I'm a terrible mom, then, because I have never been a person who always keeps my cell phone next to me "just in case."  It is nearly always the case that I hear about things "later."  It's really not a big deal for a school-aged child.  Again, in the extremely rare life-or-death situation, the first call should be to 911 anyway.  What am I going to do about it from a distance?

 

The fact that this girl is 12yo does make a difference, but so does the fact that her kids are multiple and school-aged.  Kids that age are hardy enough to get it all the way from Central America to the US without adult help.  Having to wait until the end of mom's work meeting is nothing.

[Catwoman]

Guess I'm a terrible mom, then, because I have never been a person who always keeps my cell phone next to me "just in case." It is nearly always the case that I hear about things "later." It's really not a big deal for a school-aged child. Again, in the extremely rare life-or-death situation, the first call should be to 911 anyway. What am I going to do about it from a distance?

 

The fact that this girl is 12yo does make a difference, but so does the fact that her kids are multiple and school-aged. Kids that age are hardy enough to get it all the way from Central America to the US without adult help. Having to wait until the end of mom's work meeting is nothing.

I would venture a guess that these particular kids have probably never had to make it all the way across town on their own, let alone from Central America to the US. :rolleyes:

 

Maybe you believe that "having to wait until the end of mom's work meeting is nothing," but if a child is upset, it's definitely something to that child, not nothing.

 

How hard is it to leave your phone on, and what's the point of having a cell phone if you don't keep it with you? You asked, "what am I going to do about it from a distance." My answer is that you can talk to your child. Offer words of comfort. Assure her that you'll be there as soon as you can. You can talk to the caregiver and make sure the right things are being done for your child.

 

Maybe you're fine with learning about things "after the fact," but I'm not. Sometimes it's unavoidable, but if the only reason I didn't know that something had happened to my child was because I'd turned off my cell phone, I would have a difficult time forgiving myself for that.

[BlueTaelon]

It depends on the kid. At 12 I was taking care of an infant from dawn till evening and a 4yr old alone and it wasnt a problem. My oldest dd turns 14 next month and no way is ready to babysit.