Any ideas for planning a low budget, but classy wedding?

[Sherri in MI]

My sister is getting married in November and today she was really discouraged about finding affordable venues and vendors for her wedding in November.  They have very little money & our family has none to contribute.  I had a very low budget (but nice) wedding ($1200) but that was 20 years ago and in a different area where I had access to a wedding vendor clearinghouse and contacts and resources in my area.  The ideas that worked for me won't work for her.

 

I live 600 miles away from her and I'm trying to help, but don't know anyone in her area anymore.  Everything she's finding is for the bride who can spend 10s of thousands of dollars on a wedding.

 

She was so sad today.  She doesn't want "ghetto" wedding.

 

She attends a church, but not sure if she really knows anybody there and they do not have a church building she can get married in.

 

They want to have the wedding in a church, but can't have the reception in one because they want to have champagne and dancing.

 

She's in the Elkton, MD/Newark, DE area.

[JustEm]

My sister is getting married in November and today she was really discouraged about finding affordable venues and vendors for her wedding in November. They have very little money & our family has none to contribute. I had a very low budget (but nice) wedding ($1200) but that was 20 years ago and in a different area where I had access to a wedding vendor clearinghouse and contacts and resources in my area. The ideas that worked for me won't work for her.

 

I live 600 miles away from her and I'm trying to help, but don't know anyone in her area anymore. Everything she's finding is for the bride who can spend 10s of thousands of dollars on a wedding.

 

She was so sad today. She doesn't want "ghetto" wedding.

 

She attends a church, but not sure if she really knows anybody there and they do not have a church building she can get married in.

 

They want to have the wedding in a church, but can't have the reception in one because they want to have champagne and dancing.

 

She's in the Elkton, MD/Newark, DE area.

I'm from Newark,de I will ask around. My sil is engaged and has picked a venue so she's gone through all this recently and is still going through it. If you give me a better idea of budget that would be helpful.

[JustEm]

Also what denomination is she and if she got married in a church would it have be in that type? Not all churches ban alcohol and dancing

[OneStepAtATime]

I attended a wedding where close family and friends made the food and provided the tables.  They found a big empty building to rent for the reception.  The bride made her own flower arrangements with help from one of the bridesmaids.  She found a really pretty wedding dress at an estate sale, along with various decorations for the room.  I don't remember her budget now but the costs were not very high.  She was lucky in some ways but mainly just very careful in her planning and had others help out.  One of my bridsemaids made the table decorations and a small gift of candy coated almonds she made herself to give away to guests as her gift to me.  She did not live in the same state that I did, so it all had to be portable but it worked out really well and looked great.

[HSinNH]

I made my own silk flower arrangements for the wedding party and the centerpieces. I bought my dress off the rack at David's Bridal and made my own bolero to go over it (we got married in Vermont in February). But, I have seen some gorgeous dresses at the Good Will and consignment shops. Also made my own veil--it is very easy.

 

Have a friend make the cake.

 

A girl at church recently had her reception in a barn with lots of sunflowers and white lights. It was beautiful.

[HSinNH]

Also, make your own invitations and programs.

 

[ktgrok]

Check with local county and city parks for venues that are less expensive. 

 

Don't serve a full meal. A dessert reception is a thing, or brunch can be less expensive. Or just "light refreshments" if done at a time when no meal is expected. At that type of thing you would serve cake, champagne, and fruit/cheese/cookies/etc. 

 

Or she could do an afternoon Tea, with finger sandhwiches, scones and muffins from Costco or whatever, etc. 

 

A place that lets you self cater would help with all that. 

 

Simple linens and candles are cheaper than fancy decorations. Or pinecones and ribbon in a bowl...it's the right time of year for that kind of thing. 

 

DJ instead of band. 

 

I got my dress online...it was $300 and gorgeous. Sure, it wasn't "made to last" but I was only wearing it once, lol.

[ktgrok]

Also, you can do classy in someone's home...but dancing might be hard to pull off. Would depend on the space, if there is room to rent a dance floor and put it outside, or what not. 

[Ellie]

Also, make your own invitations and programs.

 

And you don't need programs. Really. Presumably, guests know either the bride or the groom or both. What else do they need to know?

[Katy]

Ideas:

• keep guest count low
• find a gorgeous stone lodge at a state park that you can rent for a few hundred dollars
• have a friend marry you
• sew or rent the gowns
• make DIY invitations
• cater it yourself or have some friends cater it.
• DIY wedding cake
• rent china and glasses from a place that will wash them for you
• DIY silk flowers or order the arrangements from Sam's club.

[ktgrok]

And you don't need programs. Really. Presumably, guests know either the bride or the groom or both. What else do they need to know?

 

Agreed. And no one really wants them. They just either keep them out of guilt, or throw them away afterwards, or they get lost. 

 

Of course, what do I know. DH and I had a private ceremony in a tiny chapel in Scotland, with no electricity, let alone programs :)

 

(IT was gorgeous, and the wedding PLUS honeymoon cost less than most people's weddings)

[Liz CA]

The daughter of a friend got married last January and her circle of girlfriends took care of a lot of things including photography. I think the most expensive thing was food catered and Dad paid for that. She rented a veteran's hall for 4 or 5 hours on a Saturday and then the party was over. It was tastefully done.

They rented some chairs and some local people supplied some. It didn't matter that it was a hodgepodge of tables and chairs. Nobody cared while we were sitting on them and the tables were covered with inexpensive tablecloth her mother found at Michaels and sewed together.

[Luckymama]

My sister is getting married in November and today she was really discouraged about finding affordable venues and vendors for her wedding in November.  They have very little money & our family has none to contribute.  I had a very low budget (but nice) wedding ($1200) but that was 20 years ago and in a different area where I had access to a wedding vendor clearinghouse and contacts and resources in my area.  The ideas that worked for me won't work for her.

 

I live 600 miles away from her and I'm trying to help, but don't know anyone in her area anymore.  Everything she's finding is for the bride who can spend 10s of thousands of dollars on a wedding.

 

She was so sad today.  She doesn't want "ghetto" wedding.

 

She attends a church, but not sure if she really knows anybody there and they do not have a church building she can get married in.

 

They want to have the wedding in a church, but can't have the reception in one because they want to have champagne and dancing.

 

She's in the Elkton, MD/Newark, DE area.

 

 

 

I'm from Newark,de I will ask around. My sil is engaged and has picked a venue so she's gone through all this recently and is still going through it. If you give me a better idea of budget that would be helpful.

 

 

 

Also what denomination is she and if she got married in a church would it have be in that type? Not all churches ban alcohol and dancing

Same town as hjffkj. How much money can they spend? How many people need to be invited to the ceremony and to the reception? When in November (the weather is dramatically different between the beginning and end of the month lol)?

[PrairieSong]

And you don't need programs. Really. Presumably, guests know either the bride or the groom or both. What else do they need to know?

I never thought much about this, but I have to agree. I made programs for our wedding because well, everyone has them. However, if you know the people you don't need a program to tell you who they are, and if you don't know all the members of the wedding party, musicians, etc., are you really going to remember all their names or how they are related? No. They are usually just tossed anyway. If the bride and groom want something like that for their own scrapbook/photo album, they can make their own.

[mysticmomma]

Can you be more specific with the budget?

[Halftime Hope]

Some of my dd's friends did a cute wedding that was very inexpensive.  They did paper flowers for everything including the boutonnières and all the bouquets.  It was a winter wedding, and the reception had two gorgeous cakes make by a friend (I cut the grooms cake).  The reception food was a coffee or hot chocolate bar, and they had sweet popcorn mix or savory popcorn mix to go with it.  The cups were recycled paper and the folding popcorn holders kind of completed the "paper goods" theme.   It was cute and quite inexpensive.

[PrairieSong]

Dh's cousin's son had a beautiful church wedding with a string quartet. If I remember correctly, they were university students. Look for music majors who want to make a little extra $. Ask for recommendations from a university music professor.

 

The reception for this wedding was held in a big barn with white lights strung up, and fall decorations on the table. There was a buffet meal and a dance.

 

Can family members provide food? The cake? Punch? Is anyone good at flower arranging or decorating? Pinterest has a zillion ideas.

 

Oh, and btw, not all churches prohibit alcohol. Our Catholic parish allows non-members to rent our hall for receptions, but if alcohol is served they must hire a security guard. I don't think it's very expensive.

[JonesinIndiana]

Our Bible study group just helped with one of our members' son who had a very small budget. 2 families chose to provide the food as their gift to the couple. The bride requested chicken piccata, mashed potatoes, and her mother provided a Spanish pork roast. There was also appetizers of cheese, crackers, relish tray, pickle delights, tortilla chips and a dip. We all helped set up, prep the food, and decorate the hall. The 2 families stayed and served/replenished the buffet line. It turned out very nice but the cleanup crew was a no show. :( The reception was held at the community hall of a 55+ condo complex and cost $50 and looked great. It had twinkle lights hanging from the ceiling.

 

I realize this scenario may not work in your sister's situation. But I do have a few suggestions:

Could she have her wedding on a Friday night or Sunday afternoon? The couple we helped with had their wedding on a Wednesday night(?) and they had expected 60 people but probably 35-40 showed up. I think having it on a week night affected the attendance.

 

I had a friend that had a dessert reception and the guests/church provided the desserts. It was held at the church hall so there wasn't alcohol or dancing.

 

Look into alternative reception halls. Do an appetizer reception or Italian theme, that could save money.

 

And finally, PINTEREST !!!!! There are so many ideas for weddings on a budget. ;)

 

One more thing that I would say is I got married 27 years ago, in the height of the '80's, and other than the groom I'd change EVERYTHING about my wedding and reception. ;)

[Pink and Green Mom]

Dh's cousin's son had a beautiful church wedding with a string quartet. If I remember correctly, they were university students. Look for music majors who want to make a little extra $. Ask for recommendations from a university music professor.

 

 

 

My sister was a music major at the University of Delaware in Newark, DE - they had a fairly substantial sized music program.  I would definitely check there.

 

Are there any culinary schools in the area?  Delaware Tech?  That might be an option for low cost catering. 

[ksr5377]

I think, in situations where the budget it low, it makes more sense to do something unique instead of trying to do what everyone else is with 1/4 of the budget.  So if champagne and dancing is what she's really wanting, have the wedding at night, after dinner.  Then they can serve cake and champagne, maybe some appetizers, and dance away.  We went to a New Year's Even wedding a few years ago that was pretty much like this.  It was great fun!  Spend the money on things that are really important to them.  Unfortunately, with all the weddings we've been to, the typical church-cocktail hour-dinner-dancing weddings have become a bit of a blur.  I have really enjoyed the weddings we've gone to that have been out of the box. 

ETA: Friday night weddings, as mentioned above, would be a great money saver!

[SebastianCat]

An old historic home may be rented for a reasonable price as a venue.    We did this for my in-laws' 50th anniversary party and I don't remember exactly how much, but it was very reasonable.    We had a caterer who provided a cake and hors d'oevres.   This particular home hosted weddings all the time, and would have had plenty of room for a dance floor.

[redsquirrel]

Well, one way to really cut costs is to not have champagne and dancing.

 

I have been to a couple very low budget morning weddings where the meal was a luncheon or a brunch with no alcohol served and no dancing. Everyone was home by 2pm. And the earlier in the day the wedding is, the more casual the attire, so that is another way to save. The groom wearing a suit at a 6pm wedding is a bit out of place, but not at 10am.

 

But if all she wants is champagne and dancing (a totally reasonable desire in my book!) then ONLY have that. Don't serve dinner. Have a late post-dinner wedding and then have a 'midnight champagne and desserts reception with dancing"

 

[Starr]

Why can't she get married in her own church? If it's big enough for services it should work for a wedding. Going the, "I just want to use your church because it's pretty" route is costly if possible.

[BrittanyM]

Starr, their church doesn't have a building that is why. Like the church I go to rents out the veterans memorial building every week.

[Guest submarines]

Find a friend who's good with a camera. Nearly anyone can be a good photographer these days. Don't shell out thousands of dollars for a photographer.

 

Yes, but have a minimum of 3 friends in charge of photography. You'll need back up. I had only one--and all of his photos turned out blurry. That was before digital cameras and it was quite a disappointment. (that was an understatement.)

[umsami]

My friend had a lovely wedding that was low budget.  Her church did have a reception hall, though.

 

For flowers, we went to Costco that day and made bouquets ourselves.   She went to a flea market and got beautiful tablecloths for a few dollars each, and used those on the tables…along with Costco roses, and tea lights.

 

The catering was a community pot luck, really.  A few of the elderly ladies of the church assigned tasks…and that was it.  The food was delicious.  One of the members made a cake.

 

Friends did photography.

 

Another friend's daughter did low-budget.  They used a local barn as the venue.  She got married on the farm… outside in the afternoon…and then the reception was in the barn.  It was all set with wild flowers, candles in mason jars, etc.   She painted her own runner and the table numbers using water colors (She's an artist).  The dress was a vintage look…she had on a cashmere cardigan and a big white poofy tulle skirt…heels and pearls.  

 

As it was the afternoon, the food was all appetizers, tea sandwiches, and the like.  For desserts, they had cupcakes and mini cheesecakes.  

 

 

For champagne and dancing, spend your money on that….limit your guest list…. and either hire a DJ or ask at a local college/music school to see if you can get musicians within your budget.  

 

It's doable…if she can get friends to help. :)

[umsami]

OK…just saw that it's November.

 

Can she get married in a historic library or some sort of building like that?

 

You'd be surprised what sort of venues one can rent.

 

Also, flash weddings are common these days. :)  

 

 

Look at these for ideas…some may work: http://www.punchbowl.com/vendors/md-maryland/elkton/c-venues

[DawnM]

Honestly, she may have to give up the champagne toast and another venue for food, alcohol, and dancing.  

 

See if they can find someone to do some lovely tea sandwiches, finger foods, and make a modest cake.    It could average as low as $3 per guest.

Friends with good cameras and willingness to stage some really good photos

Borrow a dress or get it second hand

Find a friend good with decorating and ribbons, they can go a LONG way, even without flowers

 

[Anne in CA]

I have seen lovely low cost weddings that were mostly catered from Costco, although there probably isn't one where she lives, there might be a Sam's Club which might be similar. I wouldn't bother with lots of flowers in November, I would do leaf and evergreen arrangements for cheap with sparkly Christmas lights which should be for sale then. Check out Alisa Burke for pumpkin decorating ideas, she has some beautiful ones that look like lace that would be FAB for a fall wedding. Lots of tea lights, tiny pumpkins for the holders, cupcakes instead of cake, ect.

 

For a cheap venue check out the local parks and rec thoroughly. Lots of the time they have spaces that are not that much off season. Also, is your father a member of a lodge? Oddfellows, Elks, Moose, Eagles, American Legion? All of those would give a discount to a lodge members child.

[Beth S]

Great ideas.  Our dd got married last year on a shoestring, but we had literally 100 friends and family who volunteered to do specific tasks.

Our church family just divides up the tasks and everyone pitches in.  But like everyone said, she needs to focus just on the dancing & champagne, and forgo the other things.  Catch Hobby Lobby sales for their fake flowers, have the guys wear suits (even khakis & a navy blazer, or just vests), find her dress and the bridesmaids dresses secondhand on ebay . . . or that ebay-like website that specializes in bridal gowns.  No one will know!  She could also FB her friends to borrow the essentials she needs and avoid having a large bridal party . . . or a large guest list. 

 

An evening wedding, absolutely avoiding the dinner hour, with borrowed white Christmas lights as the decoration sounds wonderful.

 

Hopefully she can gain a perspective that she's making wise-but-frugal choices now, and starting their marriage on a more solid financial foundation (avoiding wedding day debt).   

 

Best wishes as you help her prioritize!

 

 

[Catwoman]

I think the best way to save money is to keep whittling away at the guest list until they're down to the bare minimum.

 

If the bride wants an elegant wedding, it'll much easier to achieve if she isn't trying to feed hundreds of people.

 

As others have already suggested, she should try not to spend a fortune on the invitations, and I'm in favor of ditching the programs altogether.

 

What is her budget? It's difficult to make specific recommendations without knowing how much she wants to spend.

[Jenny in Florida]

My wedding was low budget, and we tried for elegant. Some of the things we did:

 

- We designed our own wedding invitations and programs and printed them (after work hours) using the laser printer at my office. 

 

- I bought a dress that was from the bridesmaids collection by my favorite designer. I had no interest in a long, white, "snow beast" gown.  And we got married in February. So, the calf-length green velvet dress was perfect and cost about $300. 

 

- We got married at the church we attended and then had the reception at our apartment, which was within walking distance of the church. We had just moved in and hadn't yet filled up the larger-than-we-were-used-to space. So, with a few rented tables and chairs, it worked well.

 

- I did my own bouquet and the decorations for the church with ribbon I bought at discount floral supply places and artificial flowers. Our colors were forest green and neutrals, and I chose lots of things that had designs including ivy. As it turned out, I was able to buy a LOT of forest green ribbon and various doodads with ivy designs very inexpensively in the weeks after Christmas.

 

- We asked the choir I sang with to do two songs at the wedding, which they did as their gift to us.

 

- For the reception tables, we rented large pots of ivy instead of buying cut flowers. It was much less expensive, more appropriate for my theme and meant we didn't have a bunch of dead flowers to toss.

 

- We did a desert buffet instead of a full meal. We bought a tray of pastries from our favorite local bakery, and I assembled a big fruit salad. I made a few other things, too, but I honestly don't remember what now. 

 

- I made our wedding cake. That one wasn't the plan, and I did it because I ran out of other options, but it certainly was a cost saver. I wasn't yet vegan, but was veg, and I had already sworn off eggs and most processed sugars. We looked and looked for a baker who could make an attractive, tasty cake that I could actually eat, but the one person we found was too flaky to trust and stopped returning my calls when I tried to schedule a tasting. So, I hit the craft store for supplies and baked my own. As a topper, I used a Christmas ornament I found on sale after the holidays. We still hang it on our tree every year.

 

- My husband made several tapes of music to play during the reception. (This was before the age of iPods and playlists, which is what I would do now.) My husband Does. Not. Dance. So, he was adamant that we not have dancing as a feature of the reception. (We wouldn't really have had room in our apartment, anyway.) Consequently, the music was for atmosphere, rather than dancing. We loosely themed the music and a few other things after movies we loved. My husband chose a bunch of love songs from films and Broadway to play during the reception.

 

There are only two things I regret:

 

- We did the disposable camera thing, too, and ended up with almost no decent photos. We promised ourselves that we would get dressed up in our wedding gear and go get professional portraits done as soon as we could, but I got pregnant almost right away, and we never got around to it. If I had it to do over again, I would scrimp somewhere else in order to get at least a basic package of professional photos.

 

- I didn't plan ahead for actually getting the food set out and ready. We walked from the church to our apartment with a group of guests, and the minute I walked into the apartment, I had to break away and rush to the kitchen to start pulling things out of the refrigerator and setting up the desert table. As soon as they figured out what I was doing, several of my friends from the choir dashed in to help, but if I were planning an equivalent event now, I would figure out how to either hire help or arrange with friends in advance to handle that part.

 

Otherwise, I was and am happy with the choices we made. We had a wedding that really felt like "us" on a budget we could more or less afford.

 

 

[KungFuPanda]

Check the rent-by-owner vacation sites. You may be able to rent a beautiful home with a great room suitable for dancing. Two nights in a place like that can be less than a reception hall. If the party isn't too big, two nights gives you the night before to decorate AND a place to house out-of-town guests.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

I didn't read all of the responses, but I made my own programs and had them printed at the local print shop on some nicer paper that I purchased.  I also made my own invitations.  I did fake flowers and made my own arrangements.  We also did all the decorating at the reception ourselves.  We used borrowed and recycled items as much as possible.

[Ellie]

Small ceremony--officiating pastor, happy couple, one attendant each, parents and siblings of bride and groom. Sweet wedding dress for the bride, attendants wear something nice of their own choice. Small, intimate meal immediately following, at the home of the bride. Or larger reception with finger foods and beverages and, of course, wedding cake. All wave good bye to the happy couple as they leave for their honeymoon. Wedding announcements sent afterwards. The end.

[Dory]

We made our own invitations, our own center pieces, a lot of our floral arrangements (they weren't all fresh flowers). My grandma made all the tokens for each place at the reception (she made little crocheted bells with a hershey kiss as the ringer). We made all the salads and greased, poked, and wrapped the baked potatoes, and then hired someone to come in a cook the meat and potatoes up for us which was much, much cheaper then having to hire someone to do all of it. I believe my wedding costed about $3,000 for the dress and everything. My cousin just had snack type foods and had her reception as a tea type thing in between meal times. It was cute and sweet but they didn't have a dance. Food like that were easier for them to prep ahead of time though and cheaper to have someone else do if they needed to.

[vonfirmath]

Also what denomination is she and if she got married in a church would it have be in that type? Not all churches ban alcohol and dancing

 

Also note that alcohol adds to the cost of the wedding.

 

We were married 10 years ago when our church did not have a church building. The church I had attended previously and was still somewhat involved with (volunteering, etc) did. We had the wedding and reception there for $5000, including paying for all the bridesmaids dresses to be made and my husband's ring, etc. Oh and we had a middle of the afternoon wedding so no buffet. Catered meal also adds quite a bit of cost to a wedding. (And many venues seem to require you to use their in-house catering service)

 

ETA: Our biggest single cost was the professional photographer because that was what was most important to me.

 

[LibraryLover]

I went to an evening wedding in a lovely backyard. They rented a white tent and hung white lights. A friend poured wine an champagne. Another friend with a 'for fun ' jazz group donated the music. Flower decorations were mostly borrowed large clay pots from various friends patios. Another friend who grows flowers made the 3 bouquets, simple table clusters of wild flowers, with roses for the best man and groom. Food was appetizers served by the caterers, and pretty tradition wedding cake made by an older local baker who doesn't do over-the-top cakes. Catering was the biggest expense. They rented tables, chairs and linens from the tent company. I know they spent less that 3,000. Her dress was gorgeous, but inexpensive, bought on sale at a basic bridal shop. Understated and elegant. Her mother made the veil. The whole event was lovely. Simple, elegant and understated, but beautiful. They chose the date of the wedding based on her friend's most productive flower season. :)

[emzhengjiu]

If she needs help, my daughters' youth group was hired by a family to handle all the set up and clean up.  It was much cheaper than hiring adults and it gave the teens a way to earn money.

 

As another poster mentioned, check local recreation centers as possible venues.  Some allow alcohol if a security guard is hired.

[chocolatechip]

What about not doing a complete dinner? At my mother's wedding they had cake, punch, mixed nuts, and those little butter mints. A wedding I was at last summer took a similar course but included champagne.

 

 

[Ellie]

What about not doing a complete dinner? At my mother's wedding they had cake, punch, mixed nuts, and those little butter mints. A wedding I was at last summer took a similar course but included champagne.

 

When Mr. Ellie and I were married (back in the dark ages), not one wedding we attended (including ours, of course) had anything except cake and punch and nuts and stuff.

[Excelsior! Academy]

Tulle is your friend.  It is especially pretty with twinkle lights underneath. 

 

Go to every florist in a reasonable radius and tell them the date of your event.  Offer to purchase a certain type or color of flowers that they would normally throw away at 1/3 of the normal price.  Even if these flowers are not usable in bouquets you can pinch off the petals and sprinkle them on tables as decoration. 

 

Beg, borrow and plead.  People are generous when it comes to weddings.  At a friend's wedding we ended up with enough serving dishes for the entire wedding.  They were complete with chafing dishes, real silver and crystal.

[ktgrok]

Given the month I'd skip flowers almost totally and do pinecones, fall leaves, or evergreens. 

[freesia]

Given the month I'd skip flowers almost totally and do pinecones, fall leaves, or evergreens.

Excellent idea!

[OH_Homeschooler]

Well, one way to really cut costs is to not have champagne and dancing.

 

I have been to a couple very low budget morning weddings where the meal was a luncheon or a brunch with no alcohol served and no dancing. Everyone was home by 2pm. And the earlier in the day the wedding is, the more casual the attire, so that is another way to save. The groom wearing a suit at a 6pm wedding is a bit out of place, but not at 10am.

 

But if all she wants is champagne and dancing (a totally reasonable desire in my book!) then ONLY have that. Don't serve dinner. Have a late post-dinner wedding and then have a 'midnight champagne and desserts reception with dancing"

 

We had an 11:00 wedding on a Sunday and it was lovely, if I do say so myself. We had a brunch reception and we offered alcohol, but just wine, beer, and champagne. (It was open bar, but we saved money by having them charge us by the bottle, rather than a set open bar fee). Several guests made mimosas with the orange juice that was out on the tables. We had all of the traditional dances and cake. The music (dj) was more low-key than a night wedding, but that was more our speed anyway. 

 

We had a relatively small guest list (75). I can't tell you at this point how much we paid for everything, but I know it was a lot less than others were paying at the time. 

 

Also wanted to add, someone upthread said buffets are less expensive. I have heard that's not necessarily true, because it's harder for caterers to budget for a buffet not knowing how much of each offering each guest will take. That's just something else to keep in mind.

[Plink]

Have her talk with her dream venues in person. Often they have odd hours that they need to fill, and if she can be flexible with the date they can give great discounts. Our wedding ended up being at a fantastic location with all the bells and whistles, but I had to allow them to dictate the time. It was an easy adjustment to make to save 75%.

 

Bartering works well too. Offer to do housekeeping for a year to get the band you really want, or trade a handmade shawl for the privilege of borrowing a friend's beautiful used veil. It never hurts to ask, and you will often be surprised at how willing people are to work with you.

[displace]

What great ideas already!  My suggestion is along the lines of thinking outside-the-box, as already mentioned previously.

 

Consider a different location.  Just because she lives in Northern MD doesn't mean the wedding can't be elsewhere (consider beach, DC on the lawn?, mountains, lakes, waterfalls, vineyards if the leaves haven't died yet, etc).  If they choose a natural outdoor place they will likely be able to get a cheap marriage on site.  For instance, pretty far away, but there are plenty of people who do cheap weddings at Niagara Falls.  The guests all go to a small chapel house for beginning ceremony, then go to the Falls and stand for the 10 min of actual vows taken, and that's it.  Then you can have a reception maybe somewhere close by.  But if she focuses on natural things nearby like parks, a lot of ideas mentioned could be used outside (high tea, natural decorations, etc).

 

If she tries to plan during high-foliage season that would even be better, because what better backdrop than fall leaves?  Or she could try to marry a little later, go to the mountains, and have a nice winter snow scene.  Of course none of these are churches, so that's her personal decision.

 

I also did my own invites, bought a dress at a place that was geared toward proms I think, but they had ivory embroidered dresses which was perfect for what I wanted.  We did not get an engagement ring, and we have bland wedding bands.  We bought flowers that morning and I made a flower tiara and my veil, as well as buying vases for the restaurant tables and just putting pretty roses from the grocery store there (cheaper than a flower outlet that I found).  Buy and bring wine/champagne for the reception.  I understand the desire to just go to a place and have it all done for you, but they are expensive. 

[Reefgazer]

Early evening wedding in the church, followed by a dessert and punch reception in the fellowship hall or narthex.  Everyone who wants a champagne toast can join the happy couple for their first married dinner at a local establishment after the dessert reception (Dutch treat).  String quartet from the local music academy or DJ for music, do her own flower/plant arrangements. I would not skimp on the photographer, if its possible to swing it.

 

or

 

Backyard/home evening wedding under a white canopy with a dessert reception, followed by all the libations they want. String quartet from the local music academy or DJ for music, do her own flower/plant arrangements. I would not skimp on the photographer.

[Excelsior! Academy]

Given the month I'd skip flowers almost totally and do pinecones, fall leaves, or evergreens. 

 

Good idea!  Fall décor would be very pretty and plentiful.

 

 

 

 

Google fall weddings and you get a wealth of ideas!!  One that is especially lovely is using bare branches in centerpieces.  Photos against turning leaves are beautiful!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Danestress]

I think it has gotten harder to do a really simple 'cake and punch' wedding because in our modern world, people don't as often live in the same community as family and friends, and when people travel for a wedding, one feels one must at the very least, feed them a nice meal. Most people I know feel they must feed out of town travellers the night before as well, which is why rehearsal dinner are becoming big events.

 

If I wanted to have a wedding on a budget and still be a gracious host, which is what I think you mean by 'classy,' I would do the following:

 

Have a family only wedding with just a few of our very closest friends.

 

Get married in a tiny chapel with just one lovely flower arrangement at the altar.

 

No groomsmen or bridesmaids. This reduces a few costs - no wedding party gifts, fewer photos, no transportation costs, no rehearsing or rehearsal dinner, no extra bouquets for bridesmaids etc. It also keeps the focus on the two people being married. DH and I did this, and I have had a number of people tell me over the years that they still remember how lovely it was to just have two people and priest.

 

After the ceremony, I would have a lunch 'reception' at a restaurant that could accommodate that. It is so nice and easy when you don't have to hire a caterer, rent linens, set up tables, etc. We reserved the whole restaurant - a small one - and while the meal was expensive, it was important to us that we break bread with our guests, and because we kept the wedding small, we could afford that. We had an evening wedding and dinner reception, but lunch would be cheaper. We did not have to clean up, hire helpers, ask guests to contribute food, etc. We fed everyone and then we left:). Our menu was very expensive, but it would not have to be - I think one could do this at a simple place if they kept the other details simple.

 

I wanted a nice wedding, but I didn't want to impose on others. I think a lot of brides have big wedding parties and enjoy how that seems to make it an 'occasion.' And I also think they want to honor and include loved ones, and that is fine. But to me, unless you are paying for the dresses and groomsmen attire, it can create a burden for others. I love the idea of a community potluck type wedding, but in my own community, I think it would not feel right. So for us, we would rather have few guests and treat them well. If our guests hadn't had to travel, I think 'treating well' could be cake and punch in the church reception hall. But most of our guests had traveled and were staying in hotels, and a meal seemed necessary. By keeping it very small and simple, we could still serve a nice meal and have the champagne. And if she does lunch, there can still be a champagne toast and a little dancing. Why not? But people will drink very little in the middle of the day.