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Talking here about adult children?


Laura Corin
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I am thinking that I should be pulling back from discussing Calvin's future life here, now that he is about to go off to university.  I can imagine that changing if I really need advice about something serious, but in general, he's living his own story now.

 

How have other people dealt with these transitions?

 

L

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I think here is where you thank your lucky stars you never used their real names so you can keep talking about them with your BFFs.  :grouphug:

 

It will change though, won't it, when they aren't minors or even under our roofs anymore. (I've been thinking about this, too.) I suppose we'll all get more formal and distant about their adventures, just hitting the highlights and updates.

 

Because what's the alternative -- tell too much of their personal lives? (Junior just moved in with his girlfriend! She's doing so well now that she's out on probation, and such a sweet girl!) Or just brag about their careers all the time in a way that is unseemly for parents of adults? LOL

 

Sigh.

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I am thinking that I should be pulling back from discussing Calvin's future life here, now that he is about to go off to university.  I can imagine that changing if I really need advice about something serious, but in general, he's living his own story now.

 

How have other people dealt with these transitions?

 

L

 

 

I would be a little disappointed if you never mentioned him again.  Even just a note that he's completed a year at university, or he's settled down with a partner would suffice.

 

That's selfish of me, though, and I have always admired the way you've respected your childrens' privacy here while still being so open and frank about the nuts and bolts of their homeschooling and transition to formal schooling.  It has been immensely helpful. 

 

Whatever you decide, just know that I'll always be thinking of your sons and wishing them the best where ever they are and whatever they do.

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I still post about my adult kids because it is relevant to the discussion many times. They WERE homeschooled. They ARE self learners, outside of the box, and the result of their homeschooling is the foundation of who they are... And an extension of who they are becoming. Keep posting. ðŸ˜

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Awww, I love to hear about adult kids.  I do appreciate it when parents respect their kids privacy (regardless of age) and don't post real names.  I definitely try to do the same when referring to my own kids.  I generally try to keep my location and details vague in most of my posts.

 

I'm sure as kids are transitioning adults, that's a fine line to walk.  It goes too fast!  Best of luck to Calvin in his new adventures but I hope his mom hangs around.  :grouphug:   :rolleyes:

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I feel like if I started on their college lives it would be totally crazy, she called in tears from  Morocco, then their was this creep following her around in Spain and she changed her major three times, she's tired of crazy roommates, can you believe how admin handles this?  It's more exhausting than ever. But I can brag that she'll be a senior in college. :svengo: So yeah, when it comes to you, share a little but it's their world now. 

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This is me too. My blog and FB are distinctly quiet about my teens and young adults. I don't discuss them much at all.

 

If someone asks a question about how I have home schooled high school, college, work... I will answer, oftentimes via PM instead of publicly.

 

But I feel much like you.

 

I used to be frustrated at the lack of information available on the practical aspects of home schooling high school and managing college transitions. Now that I'm in the camp, I know it's just other moms choosing to respect their adult children's privacy.

 

ETA: I don't stop talking about them really, but I do talk much less about them and very few specifics.

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I think it's natural to talk about our families; I mean, we're all proud of our kids' accomplishments.  I would bounce it off him and see if he minds casual mentions of his life on here.  I can understand your reluctance, though.

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I still remember when SWB posted the video about her high school experiences and noted that respecting her teen's privacy had become very important.  If you noticed, she's only posted positive, broad statements on her blog/Facebook/here about her children.  Certainly there have been ups-and-downs as there is with any young person, but those are behind the scenes.

 

Since then I've always followed that model with both friends and family.

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I still remember when SWB posted the video about her high school experiences and noted that respecting her teen's privacy had become very important.  If you noticed, she's only posted positive, broad statements on her blog/Facebook/here about her children.  Certainly there have been ups-and-downs as there is with any young person, but those are behind the scenes.

 

Since then I've always followed that model with both friends and family.

 

I think there is a difference between SWB, a public figure, and an ordinary mom who tries to maintain a semblance of anonymity for herself and her children.  Most people here do not know me IRL.  I feel more comfortable sharing some things about my kids here than I would be in a less anonymous venue like facebook.  Even though my kids have gotten older, we are still navigating new waters and I appreciate guidance and support from those who have gone before us as well as those who can commiserate.  My struggles as a parent don't necessarily end when they become adults.  Nor do my joys. 

 

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Guest submarines

What does Calvin think?

 

Even young children deserve privacy, but parenting, especially out of mainstream, is often isolating and mothers seek each other on-line for support. The same happens with those who are just starting to homeschool.

 

My gut feeling is that this rampant oversharing (others might think it is just  plain old sharing) will create all kind of psychological problems in 10-20 years--as in completely different ideas on boundaries, personality, mental illness and so on.

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