creekland Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 There are times when frustration just hits - not depression or similar - just pure frustration. It's a gorgeous day outside - 72 degrees (22 for our Celsius viewers) - no humidity - blue skies with dabbled clouds - nigh onto perfect for those of us who are outdoor lovers and live on a farm. I had plans to get some weeding done and work with a yearling pony doing "pony school" that should have been done last fall, but health issues came up. But... I just came in after just getting a couple of handfuls of weeds that I cut rather than pulled... Lately I've been having on again/off again unexplained "certain" (vs general) muscle issues. This morning - doing chores - was great. Yeah! Plan the day! Then I went grocery shopping and picking up "basic" items like milk set the darn muscles off again. They don't feel so bad just sitting, but just TRY to leverage holding larger (not heavy, but large) weeds or similar and UGH! And with that, I can't even think about trying to play with a yearling pony that needs more ground manner training. They're unpredictable and could give a real yank. Besides, I already know that on "bad" days I can't even think about brushing or combing a mane (it hits "those" muscles). I could sit outside and read, but the guys are all WORKING on fence. What a picture that would make... mom sitting in a lounge chair with a bottle of water and a book while the guys are all sweaty, dirty, and working their tails off. I can't do it. So, I'm in here, on the computer, feeling frustrated instead. I'm going to toggle between seeing what y'all have interesting going on and looking for a vacation rental with a nice big water view for hubby, myself, and my mom for this upcoming Feb. At least then, I can let my mind wander elsewhere... without as much guilt and frustration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diviya Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Is there a side of the house where you can sit and they can't see you? Or a spot where you can open a window and sit next to it? Or maybe you can listen to a book on tape while standing in the garden "pretending" to weed? Or as a last resort, find some particularly tall weeds and hide behind them with your book. Will require taking something to sit on. I am sending hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 :grouphug: I hear you. I feel yucky today. Maybe you could fix the sweaty guys something cold to drink and a plate of snacks? Then feel free to prop up your feet on the other side of the house and read, sipping your drink, no guilt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Yes, serve something cold or a platter of cookies, whatever you can do. I only know those frustrations too well. Is this something new or chronic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 Is there a side of the house where you can sit and they can't see you? Or a spot where you can open a window and sit next to it? Or maybe you can listen to a book on tape while standing in the garden "pretending" to weed? Or as a last resort, find some particularly tall weeds and hide behind them with your book. Will require taking something to sit on. I am sending hugs. The windows are all open so I can hear the birds outside and feel the breeze. It is still nice in that aspect. Otherwise, I could never do pretend like that. They would know when they looked at the house or garden that - hey - not much has changed! Mom? The guys know what is going on and they are great with it. The frustration is mine alone - as would be the guilt if I went outside with a book. :grouphug: I hear you. I feel yucky today. Maybe you could fix the sweaty guys something cold to drink and a plate of snacks? Then feel free to prop up your feet on the other side of the house and read, sipping your drink, no guilt! Water is their preferred drink when outside and we have that available. Snacks? Maybe I can come up with something there. They would likely appreciate that quite a bit! I know I plan to marinate some mushrooms, but that's to go along with our Father's Day grilled "meat" for tomorrow. Yes, serve something cold or a platter of cookies, whatever you can do. I only know those frustrations too well. Is this something new or chronic? This is something I likely need to get looked into... and I already have a referral to a neurologist, but I haven't called for an appt yet. I like to think it's merely pulled muscles that will eventually heal themselves given enough time. So far, it hasn't worked that way though, but has there been enough time yet? ;) It's not ALL muscles - or even most. It's one (in each arm) that my anatomy guys tells me is an extensor muscle (or something like that - anatomy is NOT my science). Some days/hours it's fine. Other days I can't hold a half gallon of milk (as in getting it out of the fridge). Today started fine, but then I used the muscle too much at the store... I should have skipped the store! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Sorry you are having a rough day, it is frustrating when our bodies act up and keep us from doing things we really want to do. I'm rather grumpy myself, but only because I've discovered this week that morning sickness is not any more fun the sixth time around than it was the first... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 Sorry you are having a rough day, it is frustrating when our bodies act up and keep us from doing things we really want to do. I'm rather grumpy myself, but only because I've discovered this week that morning sickness is not any more fun the sixth time around than it was the first... :party: Congratulations! and :grouphug: I hope the morning sickness doesn't last long... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Hugs to you. I haven't been feeling quite myself either, and it's frustrating to miss out on enjoyable activities yet not feel well enough to do them right now. I hope your malaise is temporary and you feel better very soon! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 To add to the "bummer" part of the day, middle son just came in on a short break and brought up the following obit/memorial article for me. One of his favorite professors from his last semester of college passed away way too young (57). My guy was in one of his last classes and knew he had cancer (he told the kids part of the way through). He feels fortunate to have known him and learned under him as the guy really did get to know ALL of his students by name and aspects of their life. At the same time he is terribly bummed at the wonderful life our world has lost: http://www.rochester.edu/newscenter/university-of-rochester-linguist-scott-paauw-dies-at-57/ My respects to him and his family (most of whom were NOT able to be there for "the end" as he was expecting a few more months, but declined quickly at the end). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 Hugs to you. I haven't been feeling quite myself either, and it's frustrating to miss out on enjoyable activities yet not feel well enough to do them right now. I hope your malaise is temporary and you feel better very soon! :grouphug: Hmm, there's enough of us on here - perhaps we ought to all have a thread where we can enjoy each others company in the "misery loves company" vibe? It IS better having a conversation taking my mind off what I'd thought I'd be doing. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 :party: Congratulations! and :grouphug: I hope the morning sickness doesn't last long... Thanks! I'm a perpetual optimist, every single time I think "maybe I won't feel sick this time around"...and then when I start feeling sick I think "maybe it won't last so long..." :tongue_smilie: I wonder sometimes if animals get morning sickness--or if that is a special prerogative reserved for human mothers? Do you think your horses feel sick when they are pregnant? I love reading about your horses, by the way. I could dream of living on some land with horses...and would be so frustrated if muscle pains were keeping me from enjoying it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 To add to the "bummer" part of the day, middle son just came in on a short break and brought up the following obit/memorial article for me. One of his favorite professors from his last semester of college passed away way too young (57). My guy was in one of his last classes and knew he had cancer (he told the kids part of the way through). He feels fortunate to have known him and learned under him as the guy really did get to know ALL of his students by name and aspects of their life. At the same time he is terribly bummed at the wonderful life our world has lost: http://www.rochester.edu/newscenter/university-of-rochester-linguist-scott-paauw-dies-at-57/ My respects to him and his family (most of whom were NOT able to be there for "the end" as he was expecting a few more months, but declined quickly at the end). :crying: that is rough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 Frustration has been my life for over 20 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 Thanks! I'm a perpetual optimist, every single time I think "maybe I won't feel sick this time around"...and then when I start feeling sick I think "maybe it won't last so long..." :tongue_smilie: I wonder sometimes if animals get morning sickness--or if that is a special prerogative reserved for human mothers? Do you think your horses feel sick when they are pregnant? I love reading about your horses, by the way. I could dream of living on some land with horses...and would be so frustrated if muscle pains were keeping me from enjoying it! If the ponies do ever feel out of sorts, we certainly don't notice it. Horses can't get sick (as in upchucking), they can only get colicky - and that can end up killing them if it happens as they can roll and twist their intestines with the added gas in there (or the "blockage" causing the colic can kill them), but we've never seen an uptick in that due to pregnancy. Actually, mares tend to be more "out of sorts" (or cranky!) when they are NOT bred and come into season. This is the main reason many non-breeders prefer geldings. Hormones do seem to "work havoc" in all species I suppose. Frustration has been my life for over 20 years. :grouphug: How have things been going lately? Are you continuing to see some improvement or was that short lived? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 :grouphug: How have things been going lately? Are you continuing to see some improvement or was that short lived? To answer that I have to split "how I feel and how things are going" into categories. Pain comes and goes and pain levels can be up or down for periods of time. So depending on when you ask me, you might get a more optimistic answer on that. Functionality is up as a result of the 5 straight months of physical therapy I've had. It's fairly clear that the PT plug is going to be pulled soon so we'll see if I can keep it up on my own. Functionality is where I'm seeing constant small improvements and that is what I think of when I want to cheer myself up. Fatigue and stamina is the part where I have the most frustration. This morning I had the oomph and was pain free and had enough energy to take the dog out to a dog park and on a long trail walk. Now I can barely walk or do anything from fatigue and have a overall achiness. I got sick to my stomach too from the fatigue. So while my body technically is functional, I'm too tired to do anything this afternoon. And that is frustrating! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 To answer that I have to split "how I feel and how things are going" into categories. Pain comes and goes and pain levels can be up or down for periods of time. So depending on when you ask me, you might get a more optimistic answer on that. Functionality is up as a result of the 5 straight months of physical therapy I've had. It's fairly clear that the PT plug is going to be pulled soon so we'll see if I can keep it up on my own. Functionality is where I'm seeing constant small improvements and that is what I think of when I want to cheer myself up. Fatigue and stamina is the part where I have the most frustration. This morning I had the oomph and was pain free and had enough energy to take the dog out to a dog park and on a long trail walk. Now I can barely walk or do anything from fatigue and have a overall achiness. I got sick to my stomach too from the fatigue. So while my body technically is functional, I'm too tired to do anything this afternoon. And that is frustrating! Definitely more :grouphug: for all of that. Any "promise" on the horizon aside from the PT? You'll definitely continue on in my prayers... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Definitely more :grouphug: for all of that. Any "promise" on the horizon aside from the PT? You'll definitely continue on in my prayers... No promise. I've tried meds, alternative meds, special diets, potions, hula hooping (oh wait, I haven't tried that one yet!) You know that I've been praying for you. You know that I'm always nagging you to call the doctor and get things checked out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 No promise. I've tried meds, alternative meds, special diets, potions, hula hooping (oh wait, I haven't tried that one yet!) You know that I've been praying for you. You know that I'm always nagging you to call the doctor and get things checked out! Want to try a month in Bora Bora with me? Salt air, mojitos... Yeah, we can't afford that either (sigh). I am, however, thinking we will try a month in the Bahamas. That's far more affordable - moreso with an empty nest, a mom that might be willing to split costs, and a hubby who can work from anywhere keeping income coming in. If salt air/water works, I'd be thrilled. I'm willing to chance it. ;) Hubby's nagging too. (More sighs. I promised him after we drop the boys off in August if things aren't better.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Your hubby is a good man. Listen to him! But yeah, the Bahamas sounds wonderful. But I would have to bring my kids which would make it not a vacation and dh can't just work anywhere so . . . . The best "vacations" I had were went I went across the country all by myself to see a specialist. He called it medical tourism - to St. Louis! I got to see Chelle in MO too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 He called it medical tourism - to St. Louis! I got to see Chelle in MO too. We seriously debated having the next MRI (in Dec) done in someplace like St Kitts... ;) But, if we want to eek Feb out of our budget at all, adding a trip in Dec that isn't to see family really can't happen. Well, not if we want to actually pay bills too, and I keep reminding myself we actually DO have to do that. I loved our family vacations, but wow, it sure is less expensive when it's just the two of us. There are some "pros" to empty nesting. And hubby is a great guy - no arguments at all there. The resistance is all mine and could likely have a genetic component. I can't count how many times my family has reminded me of one of my grandfather's doctor's appts. On his way to the car afterward he complained about his leg hurting. My grandma asked him why he didn't mention it when he was talking with the doctor. His reply? "Why? It's none of his d__n business!" I suspect I have his genetics and they are tougher than one would think to overcome. Today I feel mentally back to normal (phew!) which means I'll quit complaining. ;) I haven't tested "those" muscles yet and will try not to. All the other "side effect" stuff is going on, but I'm used to that now - and counting down the 2 - 6 months until those are supposed to disappear. Meanwhile, it's Father's Day - which reminds me - I need to go heat the marinated mushrooms a bit. The boys will be grilling steaks later - after church. It'll be their first time doing it on their own. Do we want to guess if we'll have rare or well done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Hope you all have a nice Father' Day and I really hope you are feeling much better and stronger today. ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 15, 2014 Share Posted June 15, 2014 Creekland, I hope today is a better day! :grouphug: The marinaded mushrooms sound yummy. I love those with steak! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 16, 2014 Author Share Posted June 16, 2014 Definitely mentally better today and that makes all the difference. ;) Church was great - nice sermon. Lunch turned out terrific - the steaks the boys cooked were perfect (medium rare), then the mushrooms (always good), Jasmati Rice (during cooking I discovered the "weight limit" with my arm is 2 1/2 cups of water...), and brussels sprouts (only MY hubby would pick these for an "anything you want" dinner I suspect :glare: ) + fresh picked strawberries, chocolate cake, and ice cream. I'm still stuffed. They'll likely want supper soon. I'll pass! Then we watched an episode of Sherlock, went and played Putt Putt (ok with the arm), and made the phone calls to our respective families. Now they are out playing Bocci Ball (not ok with the arm). I'm here. When they're done, hubby will get his gifts (gas powered weedeater and a fern). Mental perspective really does play a big factor. Today was a great day - yesterday should have been too - I just had it too scripted out, then got bummed when life didn't read the script. But y'all made yesterday better and I did find a couple of possibilities of places to spend Feb (my mom is coming), so not all is lost! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 I'm glad that you had a good day, Creek. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 16, 2014 Author Share Posted June 16, 2014 I'm glad that you had a good day, Creek. Any chance yours was good? Or at least better? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 16, 2014 Share Posted June 16, 2014 Any chance yours was good? Or at least better? LOL - you're so nice that I want to say it was awesome. But alas. It was ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 16, 2014 Author Share Posted June 16, 2014 LOL - you're so nice that I want to say it was awesome. But alas. It was ok. Hmm, ok beats bad? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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