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I think I am losing my mind.... with my high schooler

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Preface:  My son is 18 and severe inattentive ADD but REFUSES to take meds.  I had him tested a couple of years ago and they said that he was dyslexic not ADD but turns out he isn't.  He most likely has Auditory Processing disorder as well as ADD (as his younger siblings do).  But since they told him that he isn't ADD he says he doesn't need meds.  His regular psych was furious to say the least!  He took 9th grade in public school and this year he is taking 2 classes at the high school.



My son wants to take an extra year of high school but go BACK to high school full time as a senior.   We just moved to a new county and he says he wants to go to PS to make friends. He hated 9th grade and wanted to come home midway through but for some reason thinks now will be different.   I am trying to get him to go to community college next year as a transition year.  I do not want to teach him next year.  I could hardly get him to do anything this year between him sneaking off with his phone (I kept it more often than not but still got crappy work) or just not getting anything done.  I am OVER it!  (hopefully someone can relate)


So my issue is I had him take a practice compass test yesterday.  He COMPLETELY failed the reading placement test.  Now this is a kid that was reading on a college level in 5th grade and his vocabulary was upper high school when tested.  He made honor roll in PS BUT was on meds. He was in PS until 8th grade, Homeschooled 8th went back for 9th and home the rest of high school. 


Now he acts like he can't do anything.  I think I am losing my mind.  What in the H*** do I do with this kid?!??  Let him go to public next year?  Or work on the issues I see when he took the practice test and prepare him for it like an ACT or SAT?


I talked to him about CC and High school yesterday and he seems to think he can go in to the HS and take a test and automatically be a senior.  I tried to explain that they didn't have to accept anything that he has done for the last 3 years if they didn't want to.  


I went over 2 of the reading comprehension tests yesterday with him and what he said was " And you think I am ready for this?"   



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I am no expert on the learning issues but as the mother of teen boys I'm wondering if you should consider removing high school from your list of options, whether at ps or at home. He's 18. I think I'd be looking at the GED, community college or vocational/tech school, trades, or other options (such as employment) that allow him to grow up and be an adult in spite of these challenges.

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I would not worry about the failed Compass test, if you know he had college level reading previously.  Working on skills isn't going to help if he failed the test due to attention issues.  It sounds like he needs some opportunities to meet friends without going back to ps....does he have any interests?   Try to find some interest clubs or activities.  I would talk to the community college (assuming that's why he took the compass test) about accomodations for add...they would have a study center, etc. to help him.  They may even offer Compass test preparation seminars.  I would tell him he's 18 and you are under no obligation to provide for him any longer...but that you will pay for community college and room/board so long as he maintains acceptable completion/grades.  Help him get set up with acommodations, help him discuss goals, but let him know he must make his own way, now.  If he finds he cannot pass classes, maybe he'll be more willing to get back on meds!  Otherwise, he'll be out on his own without an education!  Then he'll have to go find work!  Then he might be more motivated towards school.  There's probably some failure in his future, but something he's going to have to work through.


That said, my oldest is 17 and I just decided to keep him in 10th next year because he's not ready for dual enrollment (he also repeated 8th.)  He'll be 18 when he starts dual enrollment as an 11th grader.  It has more to do with where he is at academically, though.  If it was just attention, I think I'd be more tempted to just send him on.  I have not held back his ADD brother, yet...but I may have to.  Very frustrating to hold a child back for executive function skills alone!


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What career(s) is he interested in?


Have you talked to someone from the high school? Maybe he should be the one to call the guidance office and see how they place incoming students. And... supposing they would enroll him as a senior and you allow it... what happens if he flunks a class?

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