Struggling reader, feeling like a failure. Need hugs.

[Tohru]

It seems like everywhere and everyone is bragging about their child reading so early, you know, "my child taught themselves to read at 3", "my 4 year old is on lesson 89 in 100-EZ lessons", "my 5 year old is reading at a 5th grade level"...etc. 

 

I am in tears today.  My 6.5yo is struggling and I know it's not her fault.  She's starting to feel stupid and so am I. I'm embarassed to say anything because the people we know only have young children (all of them that read) and wouldn't understand. Even the WTM says reading is easy. 

 

I know it's just a matter of time and diligence, but the struggle now is making me feel like a failure since everywhere I just keep hearing how smart and wonderful all these young readers are, even here on the board. 

Aren't there any other children that don't read "early." sigh

 

I just need hugs and enouragement, please.

[Gil]

((hug))

[jnaj]

Don't feel bad! Kids are ready when they are ready. My son struggled with reading, and wasn't reading well until he was 7 or 7 1/2. Now he reads ALL THE TIME. My daughter turned 6 in March, and she is reading, but not at the level she "should" be reading at. We are working on it, and I want to make sure her reading skills are set and not force her to progress more quickly than she is ready for. My 2 1/2 year old is starting to sound out words and knows sight words. Three COMPLETELY different children with COMPLETELY different learning styles. Reading will come. Some kids aren't ready, and that is totally fine.

 

I am just making sure that she reads to me every single day, and we read stories together every day. The more we read, the better she gets. If I slack off on reading, I can see her begin to struggle (we recently moved, and I admit we slacked on ready for about a month and she regressed a bit.) 

 

I don't know if your library has this, but ours has a program where kids from K-5 can read to therapy dogs. My daughter recently went for the first time and I don't think she's ever been more excited about reading. They were great with her there and helped her with any words she struggled with (she was  a little nervous when she got there, but they were great with her.) She brought her favorite book to read and just had such a great time. Whenever they do it again I will be sure to take her. It was very encouraging.

 

Don't worry about other kids reading at such young ages. All kids are different. The only thing that I would say, is if you suspect there might be something going on then definitely get an evaluation. I have decided to get one for my daughter (she has Sensory Processing Disorder, and I think she might be Dyslexic as well..but seriously, it is normal for kids to NOT be reading at a 5th grade level at 6.5!)

[Gil]

For what its worth, *I* was not an early reader. I wasn't even an 'on time' reader. I was a late reader. I struggled with reading for a long time.

[Rachel]

I'm sorry. Hang in there, keep working with her, and do your best not to compare your child to others.

[Desert Strawberry]

None of my kids are early readers, nor was I. My 8yo is snailing it through Funnix. I would guess that he's well behind grade level. 

In third grade, I went from reading at a second grade level to 7th grade level. Once I started, I never stopped. 

My 11yo struggled for years and years to learn the basics like the alphabet. Years. Now he reads above grade level. I wish I had waited. I put him through so much unnecessary struggle. I am so glad that I didn't kill his love of reading.

It will happen. 6 is young. Give it time.

[EKS]

Even the WTM says reading is easy. 

 

 

I know it's just a matter of time and diligence, but the struggle now is making me feel like a failure since everywhere I just keep hearing how smart and wonderful all these young readers are, even here on the board. 

Aren't there any other children that don't read "early." sigh

 

I just need hugs and enouragement, please.

 

My older son struggled with learning to read as well.  Reading is *not* easy for everyone.  In my son's case, he has dyslexia.  And you're right--it is just a matter of time and diligence.  However, if your child has dyslexia, it usually takes *way* more time than you might ever imagine.

 

You can help the process by making sure you're using a program that is designed to work for struggling readers.  I'd also take a look at the symptoms of dyslexia as well as the symptoms of developmental vision problems to see if you might be dealing with one or both of those things.

[Hunter]

My oldest did not read until he was 8. With no special LD style instruction, he learned to read when he was ready, And then 2 years later was reading adult novels.

 

Many children without LDs just do not read until 7 and 8. And those with LDs read even later.

 

Waldorf doesn't teach the uppercase alphabet until age 7, and doesn't teach lowercase and reading until 8. Waldorf students read just as well as other students just a few years later. Science and math is another issue sometimes, but they read very well.

 

:grouphug:

[Snow]

Ds had a big leap in reading between 7 and 7.5. He's much advanced but it's still not easy.

 

Think of all the school statistics about kids being behind in reading. It's not an easy, nor a natural skill for many kids.

 

Stick with it slowly. Little bits. I have no doubt my stress did not help ds at all. It was just a matter of him being more ready. He also finally found a motivator (playing Civ, lol) which was probably the biggest help.

[Hunter]

As for curriculum to try, I've had the best success with adult students with Blumenfeld's How to Tutor and Alpha-Phonics.

http://www.donpotter.net/reading_clinic.html

 

The free pdf, quite a way down the page, called "Teach Your Preschool Child to Read", is the chapter that How to Tutor and Alpha-Phonics are based on.

http://www.donpotter.net/pdf/blumnfeld_home_primer.pdf

[SkateLeft]

((hugs))

 

My older ds doesn't have any learning disabilties. He's a bright, easy going kid who just didn't take off reading until he was nearly 10. Now, he's a great reader who loves to read. Ironically, he reads for pleasure far more than my oldest does, and she was my early reader! It was just took him a bit longer to figure things out.

 

 

[Hunter]

Ds had a big leap in reading between 7 and 7.5. He's much advanced but it's still not easy.

 

Think of all the school statistics about kids being behind in reading. It's not an easy, nor a natural skill for many kids.

 

Stick with it slowly. Little bits. I have no doubt my stress did not help ds at all. It was just a matter of him being more ready. He also finally found a motivator (playing Civ, lol) which was probably the biggest help.

 

:lol: back in the 90s my son wanted to play Zelda. Yes, the original. :)

[abacus2]

My 10 year old was past 7 before reading clicked for her. Now she loves to read and I have to limit her or she would read all night. I am so glad she wasn't in a high pressure school environment thinking she was stupid and developing a hatred of reading. After she had figured out reading an eye check revealed some minor far-sightedness and focus issues. An eye check could be a good idea.

[LLMom]

No early readers here.  In fact, most of mine read later than average.  But my last has dyslexia.  I wished I would have had her tested earlier.  I would slow down, keep plugging away, but if you don't see progress in 6 months or so, maybe get her evaluated.  My dd just didn't progress very much so I knew something wasn't quite right. 

[Closeacademy]

It will come when they are ready.  Both of mine were not early readers.  My oldest had everything click for her when she was around 8 and my youngest was closer to 10.  Now that we are in the Jr. High/High school years they are both caught up on reading, writing and spelling although they do struggle at times with reading comprehension.

 

Hang in there.

[Wonder]

Aww, hugs to you!  I do think that, eventually, most kids get caught up.  And for some kids reading is just not their strong point.  Even between my twins, I have one who LOVES reading (and it comes a bit easier to her) while the other could really care less about reading and is not as advanced as her "identical" sister.  Just curious...what curriculum are you using?  And do you have an idea of what "reading level" your daughter is at?  It may be perfectly normal to be where she's at.

[MistyMountain]

.

[pitterpatter]

Where is she at? What can she read? Is she making progress?

 

You know, those with early readers are most likely to reply to reading threads. People also like to think their children are advanced, even when they may not actually be. Just because a child reads something from a fifth grade reader doesn't mean he/she is reading fluently at the fifth grade level.

 

DD has been plugging along in her reading since she was four. Something just recently clicked for her. She turned seven at the beginning of the month.

[HappyClassical]

((Hugs)) Kids are all different. My DD6 has just now started to *click* with reading where it was a very slow go at first. We would review and review and do the little AAR activities... And then... She started to get it, and we had stopped doing the AAR activities and focused on phonics and fluency and are working through the Usborne My Very First Reading set. I gave her a DORA assessment this past weekend and she scored mid to high K on most areas, and will be at 1st grade level once she fixes her issue with vowels (where she looks at the word and guesses instead of paying attention to the vowel). The DORA helped solidify what we specifically need to work on to bring her up where I would like her to be, rather than wasting time on things that don't need the focus during the summer. I recommend it. But I just recommend to keep trying in a gentle way - daily - because they can go from really struggling to really getting it very quickly.

[ammv15]

(Hugs) Hang in there.I have 2 dc in the same grade.I have used the same curriculum and I have 1 advanced reader and the other child has really struggled with fluency.It didn't come easy for her even though she had the same teacher and curriculum as her brother.Every child is different.Don't fret or feel frustrated in time your child will learn.I recently tried Time4Learning to supplement social studies and science and was so impressed by thier phonics.Phonics is taught in k-2 and it makes it so easy.I wish I would have gave it a try when she was younger.She is 8 and finally something clicked and she is reading and spelling well.With my ds reading came so easy.He has been an advanced reader for sometime but is slower with spelling.

[jrstarfleetacademy]

No dyslexia or ld's here. My 8 year old is reading at an early to mid second grade level. Reading has been tough on her and she hates it. I make her read during school, books on or slightly below level to improve fluency before I move her up. I also have her read all her directions during school. After school I read aloud to her for about an hour a day.

 

When we first started schooling I pushed reading really hard because it is such an essential skill. It frustrated both of us and I gave up and went back to the beginning with Pre K and K level books and hit phonics again. I realized that she just needed to do it on her own and at her own pace. I couldn't make her read and like it. I just pick up lots of library books and form my own comprehension questions to go with them. Her dad and I are avid readers and I trust, in time, that she will be too. 

 

I learned that comparing my kiddo to others was not a helpful exercise for my sanity. Good luck and try not to sweat it too much.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

I have 20 years experience as a literacy tutor and my son was not at grade level until this year.  My daughter was above grade level from K on using the exact same methods!

 

Here are my son's DORA scores from last year and this year, slow and steady wins the race, if you keep working you should have success, although it is good to rule out vision and speech/auditory problems eventually if you are seeing problem signs and aren't seeing slow but steady progress.

 

Word reading in 2nd grade, 0.5; 3rd grade 6.83!

Spelling 2nd grade, 1.0; 3rd grade 2.5 (spelling always lags reading, I expect at or above grade level by the end of next year.)

 

High Frequency words 2nd grade, 1.17; 3rd grade 3.83 (max score)

 

I worked in several short periods every day and he made slow but steady progress.  These charts were helpful, it cut down on the repetition I had to say and made him more self sufficient, I could just point at the charts instead of repeating myself with the sounds and their rules:

 

https://www.phonovisual.com/products.php?c=1

 

[alisoncooks]

:grouphug:

 

I know how you're feeling.  My oldest is about to turn 8 in just a few weeks, and she is very much still a struggling reader.  My youngest will turn 6 in a week and she's pretty much "on track" (by public school standards, I guess) but probably behind most kids talked about here (or so it seems).  

 

Neither of mine have been self-taught -- my oldest has FOUGHT and STRUGGLED for every last little measure of progress she's made.  It hasn't been easy, and I've learned that making comparisons helps no one.  Seriously.  So now we look at her progress -- she's completed all of Dancing Bears A this year and has so much more confidence when she reads -- and that's enough.

 

 

[audreyinboston]

 

You can help the process by making sure you're using a program that is designed to work for struggling readers.  I'd also take a look at the symptoms of dyslexia as well as the symptoms of developmental vision problems to see if you might be dealing with one or both of those things.

 

I second this. 

 

I had one kid that did learn to read early and the other one struggled SOOOOO much (imagine how weird it was to have the younger child reading books to the older one!).  She was bright, motivated, LOVED stories, but just could not make any headway.  At the end of 3rd grade she still could barely read through Bob books (with many tears).  I finally had her tested for vision problems and it turned out she had eye tracking problems.  After six months of vision therapy, she was fine.  After that it took about a year for her to gear up and get up to grade level.  Now at the end of 5th grade, she spends HOURS reading everything she can get her hands on.  Whereas my son, who was the early reader, only occasionally reads on his own (He would much rather play video games!)

 

[Kevin'sMom]

Einstein did not speak until he was four, and did not read until he was seven. Some of my children read very early, and a couple read very late (by what is considered "standard"), and the grown ones are all very successful adults. "Don't worry, just read (to them)" has always been my motto.

[MerryAtHope]

(((Hugs))) 34% of kids struggle with learning to read. You are definitely NOT alone, and it's not the fault of you or your daughter. It's just much more fun to talk about the 4 yo who IS reading than the 6 yo who is not. You may need to learn some different, more effective teaching methods that will help her. You can do that. I had kids that struggled with reading and spelling both. All About Spelling helped us a lot, and they have All About Reading now. Look into options like these that are designed for kids who struggle with reading. Hang in there, they really do get there!

[freesia]

Oh, really, it's okay. No one brags about a slow reader. That's why you feel alone. When I taught first and second grade, I saw reading "click" at all different ages. One-third came in reading Frog and Toad level or higher, one-third came in with maybe cvc words and one-third with no reading. Based on that info, I could not predict where anyone would be at the end of the year. Some kids went home and over the weekend went from cvc to Pippi Longstocking. No kidding. Some kids are slow and steady. Some kids don't click until 7 or 8.

 

In my own family, I had 2 that started at 3 and 2 that really didn't click until 7, but when it clicked *boom* they caught up to where their friend who had been reading at 4 were within weeks.

 

Just keep going, everyday, keep the stress low and interest high. Keep reading out loud as much as possible.

 

Think of it like walking, talking and potty training in the toddler set. Kids come to it at all different ages.

[OneStepAtATime]

No early readers here, either.  Some children just need a lot more time.  That is actually also normal but most people don't talk about it.  You just hear about the early readers the bulk of the time.  Don't fret.  Go at the pace of your child.  I agree, though, that if your child is still struggling in a few months, or even now, you might want to read up on a few things that can cause difficulties with reading.  

 

FWIW, DD13 didn't really start reading until we started over with a program designed for dyslexics just last year.  She remained an undiagnosed stealth dyslexic through brick and mortar 5th grade, making A's and B's mostly on her report cards but not really reading.  Once we switched to a program that worked with her strengths and weaknesses reading turned around in a few months vs. 7 years of ineffective instruction.

 

If you have concerns, maybe read The Mislabeled Child by Brock and Fernette Eide.  And look at the sources posted by Hunter and ElizabethB.  Check out the information on here, too:

 

http://www.bartonreading.com/dys.html

 

And go over to the Learning Challenges board.  Lots of parents there that have struggling readers.

 

Big hugs.  You are not alone.  Hugs to your child, too.  There is time.  Your child is so young.  Don't panic.

 

:grouphug:

[sueh16]

((Hugs)) I understand. My ds just turned 8, and is just now finally, after three years of instruction, starting to get to the point where he can read a story or a word problem without having to sound out every word. I know what it's like to feel like a failure because when your child is homeschooled, everything falls on your shoulders. It's hard not to beat yourself up. (I'm very good at that.)

 

I hear you about the people who brag that their kids taught themselves to read at age 3, etc. It's not easy to listen to those comments.

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

My 6.5yo dd has struggled with reading as well. I've been using Abeka readers with her. I don't do the whole phonics drill part though. I dislike "drill and kill", especially when it's a subject that is difficult and not liked. I just go over each rule as we encounter it in the stories. I'll also remind her of the new rules before we start reading if I feel like I need to - I had to do this with vowel sounds for a while. I went very slowly and had her read one story for several days in a row until she could read it well. We just recently finished the K books. She likes to re-read all the stories on her own which seems to have helped tremendously. She also loves to get the easiest level 1 readers from the library and read them over and over. She reads at night like her older sisters do and asks them for help with the harder words. It's been great for her reading skills and for them to learn to be patient and kind! :-)

 

6.5 is still pretty young. Just keep reading to her, have her read to you for a few minutes each day, and take it slowly. Lots of review will build confidence and enjoyment. The more she enjoys it the easier it will be to learn.

[Tohru]

Thanks for all the encouragment.  I feel a bit better and can face another day with the letters. 

 

She is still trying to remember letter sounds.  She can sound out a few random cvc words (meaning various combinations, others she can't do at all), there are some letter sounds she can't seem to remember, like the sound of H or G and a few others.  Some days she can blend the words: is, it, at; other days, she has no idea what those words say or how to blend them. 

Often she'll read the word 'sat' as 'Sam' or vice versa, she can't sound out 'hit' or 'can', but she can read 'hot' and 'cat' and 'pig' (Yay for that :) ) 

 

We've been going at it off and on for a year.  I'll look into some alternative programs from those that were linked.

 

ETA: I only now realized I posted on the wrong board - I should've posted on General Education.  So sorry! I was a little miserable this morning.

[twoxcell]

 

Where is she at? What can she read? Is she making progress? You know, those with early readers are most likely to reply to reading threads. People also like to think their children are advanced, even when they may not actually be. Just because a child reads something from a fifth grade reader doesn't mean he/she is reading fluently at the fifth grade level. DD has been plugging along in her reading since she was four. Something just recently clicked for her. She turned seven at the beginning of the month.

People's definitions of reading vary as well. I have known people that said their kids could read when they could sound out 3 letter words with help. If it makes you feel any better my almost 6.5 year old dd is reading Bob books right now. She just started the second box from Costco and I have been working on Phonics with her for over a year. Just in the last couple weeks she has actually started to want to read and that was because my 4 year old picked up the first box of Bob books and read 5 in a row. :huh: This was a shock to me as well since I have not even tried to teach him phonics yet. :lol:  There is a wide range for normal when it comes to learning to read.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

I would use Leapfrog Talking Letter Factory for the sounds, then reinforce with the charts I linked earlier, let her use them during phonics and reading practice.

 

Can she hear and differentiate the sounds? If not, you may want to try something like LiPS. I also like this website to see and hear the sounds and the mouth position for each sound:

 

http://www.uiowa.edu/~acadtech/phonetics/#

[Hunter]

In HTT/Alpha-Phonics and in Ruth Beechick's Three R's, it's recommended to just start with a few letters and not all of them. Only give the child words made up of those few letters and make sure at least some of the words are of interest to the child.

 

HTT/A-P starts with just short a words and no other vowels, and the consonants m and n, and then s, t and x. Finally h, d and w are added, and the student starts composing sentences with the 9 letters and 15 words, they have been taught.

 

Some Christians like to start with the word "God" and short o words.

 

I find it helpful to do a lot of handwriting, with just those first few letters. I'm not drilling the student in reading, but having them copy, and repeat after me. It's less pressure. It's more physical than mental. There is more room for success.

 

I really like Ruth Beechick's Three R's. And read the first few lessons of the free Teach Your Preschool Child (or HTT or Alpha-Phonics). Read aloud TO her.

 

Do some Ambleside Online year 0 activities: nature study, hymn study, artist study, scripture and poetry memorization, etc. Have her color and cut. Have her help around the house and learn to WORK. 

 

Reading is critical but it is not EVERYTHING. And it's HARD and ADVANCED. There are all sorts of OTHER things to learn right now.

[SkatingMom]

My youngest will be 6 in two weeks. According to reading eggs her reading age is 4.75 . She reads level one BOB Books and can spell CVC words with letter tiles but it's a struggle. She has a huge vocabulary, an incredible imagination, and is great at figuring things out...except reading. My oldest, 11 months older than her, is a grade ahead in reading. All kids are different.

[Smiles]

I always like to think of Albert Einstein! He was a late bloomer and if I remember right he didn't start reading until 8 or 9! Hang in there it will click I know its stressful but it will happen.

[ElizabethB]

Here are some fun ways to get in extra repetition for a student that needs a lot of repetition. My daughter needs a lot of repetition in math, my son in phonics and spelling.

 

My phonics concentration game:

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Phonics/concentrationgam.html

 

Work on the white board one letter at a time, student gets to pick white board color. More fun than it sounds! Also, if you decode the word pig correctly, for example, you can occasionally take a quick break and draw a pig on the whiteboard.

 

Read, write, type:

 

http://www.talkingfingers.com

 

Not as fun, but focusing on syllables is helpful and later they can be used for decoding parts of very difficult words, the syllables really help to focus on the different vowel sounds:

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/webstersway.html

[lewelma]

I didn't read properly until I was 12.  I finished my PhD in Science by 26.  Being slow to read does not mean you are stupid.

 

:grouphug:

 

Ruth in NZ

[Tanikit]

Glad you are feeling better. Your child will get it. One thing however that bothered me in both your first and follow up post is that you are blaming yourself and then went on to say that you are doing reading "on and off" for a year. Reading at that age (and even in fact for early readers) involves intensive teaching - not necessarily for long periods - in fact teaching 5 minutes a day every day is far far more effective than teaching an hour once a week or half an hour a day for 5 days and then taking a week off. 

 

My children are early readers, but each has followed their own path and struggled with different things. Regardless what age the child is however, I would still advise the following:

 

1. Work at it daily for a very short time - 6-7 days a week, not just 5

2. Read to your child daily things she enjoys - as much as you both can stand

3. Take it one day at a time - don't have the goal of fluent reading by a certain age, have the goal of doing something each day at your child's level

4. Evaluate your child's learning style and if there could be any visual or auditory disturbances if something seems wrong.

5. Blend for your child - blend all day anything and everything without once asking your child to do it for you - blending is an auditory skill and usual follows letter recognition - the only way to teach both together usually is to do the blending orally yourself while teaching the letters visually - when she has the letters down and can hear what you are doing and do it herself, she is ready to blend and read by herself, but it can take a while of hearing it done before they do it correctly and asking them to do it before they have heard it done numerous times may very well lead them to feel on the spot and like a failure - a bit like expecting a toddler to talk sense before they have heard speech well for ages.

 

Hang in there - beginning reading teaching can be excruciating. But it does get better.

[IsabelC]

(((HUGS))) Others have already said this, and I see that you are feeling a bit better now, but I'm still going to reiterate: please don't ever feel bad. Reading isn't easy for everyone, and if your little scholar is find it tough, it's not her fault, or yours. Either she is going to take off some time in the next year or two (most likely) or she has some special needs that you haven't yet got a handle on (unlikely, don't stress about it, but keep in the back of your mind just in case).

 

If you keep at it, little and often, it's probably going to 'click' for her soon. Try not to show impatience, disappointment or worry. Act as though you are 100% confident that she will get there.

 

If she gets stressed about it, simply remind her that learning to read, like learning to walk, ride a bicycle or pretty much anything else, is different for everyone. Of my three kids, one was extremely resistant to reading for about 3 years and then took off at about age 8, one is still finding it a challenge at almost 9 years of age, and one started sounding out words by herself at age 1 (almost 2). We've done the same stuff with all of them, so I don't feel proud of myself about my 'fast' reader and I don't feel guilty or inferior about my 'slow' readers: it's just the way they learn.

[eternalsummer]

Everyone develops in their own time; sometimes a kid is just not ready for a certain development until a later age.  This is true with adults as well.

 

The myth that Einstein couldn't talk until 4 or read until 9 is not accurate, though.

[kolamum]

{{hugs}} BTDT. I had one who was a quick, picked it up on his own, but he came along after spending YEARS struggling with an older sibling. It's hard, hard, hard.

 

FWIW, though, I find half the books people state that their little ones read above their children maturity & content wise. Not that it helps heal a hurting heart by any means. My struggler is STILL behind, but we also discovered he had a true & honest disability that was holding him back. It still stumbles & trips him now, but he doesn't have the tools to help him along & that makes a difference for us. I agree, children develop when they are ready. Ignore the chatter about children reading heaps of books at young ages. Good for them, good for their children, I say that with all sincerity, but you know what don't concentrate on that.

 

Concentrate on the beautiful child you have, the help she needs & healing the hurt there. Don't let her feel defeated or ready to give up! She doesn't have to read at the same rate as peers or those older/younger then herself. Whatever pace she has is gonna be perfect for her. I would keep an eye on things & follow your Mamma instincts if you feel something is wrong. I did, I felt it for a long time & my poor boy was in & out of the Dr's office every 6 months until a conversation here set me on the track to finding the actual problem. He's in double digits now, but thankfully his spirit in regards to reading isn't broken. The specialist we saw she was astounded with his vocabulary & his love for the written word even if he couldn't read most of it himself. Probably the best homeschooling comment I've ever gotten because it came from someone who had no idea & wasn't trying to simply pat me on the back, kwim?

 

 

Big hugs, for both you & your daughter. You got this, it's gonna be okay!! 

[craftyerin]

I have two early eager readers (3rd grade level right now, finishing K) and one who struggles mightily (not really reading at all now, also finishing K, but a full year older than the other two). I did nothing different.  For some kids, reading is NOT easy.  Please don't think that it always should be or that you or your daughter are failures.  Hugs to you! 

[angelmama1209]

It seems like everywhere and everyone is bragging about their child reading so early, you know, "my child taught themselves to read at 3", "my 4 year old is on lesson 89 in 100-EZ lessons", "my 5 year old is reading at a 5th grade level"...etc. 

 

I am in tears today.  My 6.5yo is struggling and I know it's not her fault.  She's starting to feel stupid and so am I. I'm embarassed to say anything because the people we know only have young children (all of them that read) and wouldn't understand. Even the WTM says reading is easy. 

 

I know it's just a matter of time and diligence, but the struggle now is making me feel like a failure since everywhere I just keep hearing how smart and wonderful all these young readers are, even here on the board. 

Aren't there any other children that don't read "early." sigh

 

I just need hugs and enouragement, please.

 

i feel like this in almost every area. my children are... normal. they do things in their own time. sometimes i feel like this forum is just a place to come brag, which is why i only frequent it occasionally. i find some REALLY good, VALUABLE stuff here, but often times come away feeling like a failure. and like i'm failing the homeschool community at large because my kids are average and therefore not supporting the "research" that holds homeschool kids at advanced levels.

 

my oldest was 6 before she started reading. she is solidly on grade level. my second (now 6.5)... she is struggling. her 2 closest friends are slightly younger than her (2 weeks and 3 months) and because of late birthdays are both a year ahead of her in school (started k a year earlier than they would in ps), but my precious dd, she has dyslexia, among other issues. she has made great progress this year. she is beginning to read without sounding out every. single. letter. she is great at math but writes all her numbers backward. she actually just tested (in her early intervention program) on grade level in everything but spelling. but she's still a year behind her 2 BEST friends. it doesn't bother her, she doesn't understand grade levels and stuff, but *i* feel it. and i have to keep reminding myself that she is SPECIAL. and just like my oldest (who could not be forced to learn anything) she will do things in her own time. and we will both be fine. it's not about keeping up with everyone else. it's not a competition. it's not about being the best or comparing yourself or your kids to anyone else. it's about doing what's best for YOUR child. that's why we choose this, struggles, heartaches, and all.

 

((hugs)) mama. you're not alone. you're doing great. and thanks for letting me give myself a pep talk. :P

 

[hepatica]

None of my three children were early readers. The oldest is dyslexic and did not read until 8 1/2. The middle child began reading in first grade (boringly normal), and my ds is 6 and working on sounding out every single letter in very simple readers. There was an reading poll done here recently that confirmed that most of the children on this board read begin reading at the very normal age of 6-7 years. The most enlightening thing about the poll was that most of those who posted about their kids (and not just answered the poll) had early readers. So it is true that the early readers just get talked about more. They do not, in fact, predominate.

 

That said, if you have not read it, please read The Dyslexic Advantage, by the Eides. It will help you to see all the amazing skills that many kids have outside of those traditionally rewarded in school. I think this book should be required reading for all teachers and parents, including those whose children are not dyslexic. 

[AngelaNYC]

My kids were all over the place.  I had one that actually did teach herself to read at 3, one that learned at 4, and my son who didn't really grasp reading until he was about 10.  Even at 10 it was choppy.  But now, at 13, he is reading better than ever - above grade level and with full comprehension and retention.  So don't feel like a failure.  Some kids take longer.  Believe me, when she's an adult, no one will give a second thought to when she began reading, was potty-trained, or began walking.  

[FO4UR]

My oldest is dyslexic, and didn't really start reading until he was 9/10.  

 

 

My dd learned to read by osmosis at age 3.  By 5, she was reading Little House in the Big Woods.

 

 

My ds7 is on a typical reading time-frame.  He began learning to read in earnest at age 7, and at almost 8yo he's buddy reading Stuart Little with me.

 

 

 

 

All 3 of them love books.  All 3 of them are bright.  All 3 of them have an amazing teacher  (snicker snort :lol: ).

 

 

 

 

 

"Reading is easy." only applies if reading comes easy.  For the rest, reading is pure torture with high stakes.  Be the source of calm and peace for your child.  Make a game of learning phonics (Happy Phonics is nice.), and keep at it, gently and happily.  

[memmerrill]

Hey, Just wanted to add my experience.  I was one of those early readers myself, reading at age 3, but dd was just reading Bob books at age 6.  She couldn't read beyond that level until she was about 6.5, when her reading took off and she could read anything we put in front of her face.  It was wonderful to see.  Until that happened, though, we just continued to do 20 minutes or so of reading practice daily until she got it.  I trusted in her timetable and for us, that was the best thing to do. 

[ktgrok]

My son didn't learn to read until almost 7. And then was behind until around 2nd grade. He jumped to a 5th grade level by the end of 2nd. He has been at a college level since 7th grade. So you are not doombed!

 

that said, we did learn much later that he has a learning disability....he has very low working memory and poor coding skills. So I would recommend an evaluation if at all possible. Knowing that at the time would have saved us from a lot of frustration.

[Guest dccowgirl3]

Folks, I'm not getting any kickbacks from endorsing The Secret Stories by Katie Garner but honestly, there is nothing out there that works as simple and as cheap as this reading system! Put all the red & yellow posters on the wall and you share a "secret story" with your child when you see one of the letter combinations in whatever book you happen to be reading to them. I shared my copy with a public school teacher and she says that she can't teach without it now. An added benefit......your child can spell like a maniac lol! Simple, cheap, & EFFECTIVE.....does that work for anybody?  If your child doesn't know his letters yet, google "mnephonics" and dig until you find the download with lessons. It's free and works on the same concept.