magic Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 My 17 year old son sent me a text this morning (the last full day of school) to let me know that he could not meet for lunch. He could not meet me because the father of one of his friends (today is the friend's birthday) died in a car accident last night. This is not a close friend but still a friend. This friend asked my son to walk with him between classes, go to lunch with him, and stick by his side today. My son immediately said yes and texted me to let me know. My son lost a close friend in a car accident 2.5 years ago and lost his uncle to suicide 10 months ago. He has always been known as someone that kids can depend on to be there in hard times. His friend knew that my son was still dealing with the death of his uncle and has been a peer counselor helping others deal with death. I am so very proud of my son and his strength but I think it really sucks that a 17 year old has enough life experience in death to be able to counsel others. I am really hurting for my son right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 :grouphug: I'm sorry that your son is going through this. I'm sure you're proud of him too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 I am sorry for the grief your son has endured. He sounds like a wonderful, compassionate young man and a true friend in time of need. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: That really sucks. What a wonderful young man you've raised, though. I'm sorry for the hurt he's endured, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 I don't remember going to my grandfathers funeral when I was 3, but I do remember going to funerals for great grandparents, grandparents, a parent and for friends that have lost loved ones. Most of the people in my family that I have lost, I lost before graduating from college. I was a few years out of college when my last grandmother passed away. It is a hard life lesson, but it has taught me compassion. I have gone to funerals to support people that I didn't know very well as well as to support friends when they lost loved ones. I wouldn't change that about myself for anything. The most recent one was this winter when someone I didn't know real well lost her teenage son. I showed up at the funeral and later was the only class member to show up the following Monday. She never cancelled the class and I figured no one else was going. I figured she either need to have class or would be willing to sit and talk and maybe I could just listen to her and that was exactly what we did. My kid played with her kids and we just sat and talked. She needed love and support and I didn't even know her son. She was extremely grateful. Admire your son for being someone others can count on when things are difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Try not to think of death quite so negatively. It's the end of life, not a flunking out.Your son sounds like a good bloke and 17 is a marvellous age to be able to operate like a grown up. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 Your boy sounds amazing. Maybe helping his friend through his grief will help your son work through his own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magic Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 It is helping him. It just brought back so many feelings and he has cried some tears. My son said that yesterday he and his friend were talking about their dads and their relationships with them. it really hit my son hard because he is so close to my husband- just like his friend. He is a little angry with the kids who are treating his friend like he is now different. He said that he talked to his friend about how he was doing, joked with hiim (like usual), and let him know that he would be there for him. He has made notes in his phone to make sure and contact his friend at least once a week during summer. He wants his friend to know that he cares and knows that the next couple of months will be extremely difficult. This boy does have a sister graduating high school on Saturday. Family is already down so the immediate family has a full house right now. My brother in law would have turned 38 this coming Sunday so we are already dealing with the emotions of his birthday coming up. Right now my son is with a group of friends who are watching movies and hanging out together- they are just trying to enjoy their friendship. Yes, I have an amazing son and I am so very proud of him and the man he is becoming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 He sounds like a mature, wonderful young man. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 :grouphug: Sounds like a fine young man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: it takes a special person to help others deal with grief :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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