I want to keep homeschooling but....

[lgliser]

How do I know I'm good enough?  It's one of those days.  We are almost done with our curriculum and for example in math they were supposed to continue counting by 3's from 30 and write the numbers down.  One of my girls just couldn't get that all you do is add 3 each time.  We've been counting by 2's, 3's, 5's,... etc since the beginning.  How does she not know this?

 

My other girl is not a great listener.  I nicely told her I was about to give them all a tip and that they should really pay attention because it's helpful.  So I taught them a little tip about something mathy and asked her what I had just said and she couldn't tell me.  I hate that I actually have to TELL them to listen.... when I talk, they should listen.  Automatically. 

 

Just all these little things that they don't know but we have been going over pretty much all year.  I must not be a good enough teacher!  They went to public school kindergarten and they learned things there.  Maybe school teachers just really do know how to teach and I just don't.

 

I WANT to homeschool but if they can't learn from me then maybe I should send them back to public school.  I would feel so embarrassed and like such a failure if I did.  I love our good days and I love the freedom homeschooling gives us.  There are so many things about a public school that I hate.  But being in charge of their education... it's ALL me.... it's very overwhelming sometimes.  I wish I had some help.  I just need some help.

[PentecostalMom]

Well, give yourself a break!  You have three kiddos, all the same age and it's your first year.  You are more than likely doing much better than you realize.  Be encouraged and know that you are the best educator for your children.  Homeschooling takes training just like chores.  Keep going and hang in!  Are you almost at the end of your school year?  Are you schooling year round?  Do you take breaks?  Many people, myself included, get burnt out a bit.  You may just need a break.

[freesia]

How do I know I'm good enough?  It's one of those days.  We are almost done with our curriculum and for example in math they were supposed to continue counting by 3's from 30 and write the numbers down.  One of my girls just couldn't get that all you do is add 3 each time.  We've been counting by 2's, 3's, 5's,... etc since the beginning.  How does she not know this?

 

My other girl is not a great listener.  I nicely told her I was about to give them all a tip and that they should really pay attention because it's helpful.  So I taught them a little tip about something mathy and asked her what I had just said and she couldn't tell me.  I hate that I actually have to TELL them to listen.... when I talk, they should listen.  Automatically. 

 

Just all these little things that they don't know but we have been going over pretty much all year.  I must not be a good enough teacher!  They went to public school kindergarten and they learned things there.  Maybe school teachers just really do know how to teach and I just don't.

 

I WANT to homeschool but if they can't learn from me then maybe I should send them back to public school.  I would feel so embarrassed and like such a failure if I did.  I love our good days and I love the freedom homeschooling gives us.  There are so many things about a public school that I hate.  But being in charge of their education... it's ALL me.... it's very overwhelming sometimes.  I wish I had some help.  I just need some help.

Ok, deep breathe. Did you ever teach her that counting by 3s was just adding 3? Did you have her list the 3s and put a +3 above so she could see? She may not have intuitively "gotten" it if she wasn't told. They are still young. There is a reason that often kids "even out" around 4th grade (and it's not that the gifted/precocious kids aren't taught). Some kids have trouble with abstract thinking before 8 or 9. They need concrete objects in order for math to make sense. Let her use manipulatives as much as possible.

 

Regarding the listening--yes, she should listen but even ps kids daydream. For my third child every new thing, every single one, he hears the first time as "blah, blah, blah". He was at the beginning of third grade before he could verbalize this. So now, I teach and ask him if all he heard was blah, blah, blah. I remind him to listen and not panic, but I expect to have to repeat it bc that is his first reaction. And, guess what, I was a ps teacher for 10 years. I taught first and second grade, my students excelled and I still didn't get that my own son (my third, no less) wasn't processing what I said.

 

The responsibility can seem heavy, I agree. But try to relax. Maybe you would feel more comfortable with a scripted math program that would "teach" you how to teach. But, chances are you are doing just fine. Just be patient, don't try to rush them ahead, teach them where they are one step at a time.

 

(However, as a ps--I notice that they are triplets. If they were premies remember you might be dealing with learning disabilities, too.)

[lgliser]

Thank God for these boards.  Seriously.  Any time I have struggled and come here for advice, I have gotten such amazing advice and encouragement.

 

Yes we are almost done with our school year.  I am very anxious for a break, but at the same time I almost feel like I can't allow us one because I need to solidify some of these things I think they really need to have down before moving on!!  I do plan on doing light summer work.  I would do that whether we homeschooled or if they went to public school, just to avoid forgetting everything and having to do a lot of catch up in the fall.

 

What is this about kids evening out at about 4th grade?  Tell me more! 

 

Abeka is fairly scripted.... but math is NOT my strong point.  I need a lot of hand holding!  lol

 

They were 7 weeks premature.... and I have read that triplets may have some learning issues. 

 

Thanks again - I know I need to relax.  I just need that reminder sometimes!

[Critterfixer]

It's pretty hard to be perfect. 

I'm actually having one of my dumb days, when I wake up depressed and despairing over how stupid I am and how I simply can't function in society like a normal person. I'll be better in a day or so. But when I have one of these days I have to remember that I am so far from perfect, I can't even find the door, and if I did, I'd probably push instead of pull. And you know what? That's OK.

Because I know I'm not looking for that door anymore. 

 

Let go of it. It will make you crazy if you do not. It's frustrating when kids don't retain. It's really frustrating when you've worked hard and you can literally see the words flying right over the top of their adorable little heads. It's really, really frustrating when you realize that you are worn out, tired and there doesn't seem to be any progress. It happens. And you get overwhelmed. And it seems worse at the end of the year for whatever reason.

 

You are nearly at the end of your year, correct? You've done your curriculum? Could you call it done now? With kids that age, I'd go brew a pot of tea, set out a plate of something nice to nibble on, and read a book of very silly poems. And tomorrow I'd sleep in. Then get up and go party hard at the park. Chances are really good that if you are exhausted and need a break, your kids could use the break too.

[freesia]

Thank God for these boards.  Seriously.  Any time I have struggled and come here for advice, I have gotten such amazing advice and encouragement.

 

Yes we are almost done with our school year.  I am very anxious for a break, but at the same time I almost feel like I can't allow us one because I need to solidify some of these things I think they really need to have down before moving on!!  I do plan on doing light summer work.  I would do that whether we homeschooled or if they went to public school, just to avoid forgetting everything and having to do a lot of catch up in the fall.

 

What is this about kids evening out at about 4th grade?  Tell me more! 

 

Abeka is fairly scripted.... but math is NOT my strong point.  I need a lot of hand holding!  lol

 

They were 7 weeks premature.... and I have read that triplets may have some learning issues. 

 

Thanks again - I know I need to relax.  I just need that reminder sometimes!

I wish I had sources on hand that I could link, but when I was always taught that before 8 children are pretty developmentally all over the place cognitively. Kinda how children learn to talk, walk, crawl at different times, but it is all "normal". Around 8 or 9 this evens out, and you often see children who had trouble reading or writing "suddenly" get it. You will see a child who always needed concrete objects to "get" math not need them any more. You also see some children who were ahead at 5 settle into a more "normal" time table. (Of course, before I get flamed by the parents of pg and hg kids this is not true for some truly high IQ children).

 

That said, if you are concerned about any auditory processing with your non-listener or other learning problems, I would discuss it with your pediatrician sooner rather than later, being that they were premies.

 

I would also consider doing light math through the summer so they don't loose anything.

[Arcadia]

.  I hate that I actually have to TELL them to listen.... when I talk, they should listen.  Automatically. 

 

........They went to public school kindergarten and they learned things there.  Maybe school teachers just really do know how to teach and I just don't.

 

.......But being in charge of their education... it's ALL me.... it's very overwhelming sometimes.

 

 

The listening thing is an acquired skill. Kids (and adults) would day dream from time to time because it is normal.  My kids teachers would whistle to get the attention of the entire class :)  I have seen mums do that too when they are rounding up their kids from an activity.

 

Some school teachers are really a lot better at classroom management than I am at "managing" my boys.  However a lot of the "learning things" in a classroom has to do with the peer pressure when it comes to my boys.

 

May is when public schools wind down around here anyway.  Give yourself an early summer break :)

[Tiramisu]

I'm only judging by the examples you give, but it seems as though you rely heavily on them having to listen to learn. And there could be a very real reason that they are having difficulty listening, in that you said one is not a good listener, and that would be neither their fault or your fault.

 

I would consider using a lot of visual and manipulatives as a first step. In school, you said you felt they learned better. That may be your end-of-the-year, being tired out, perception. But in school these days, they use a ton of visual and manipulatives for kids the age of your dc. They are literally bombarded with them. If you are unfamiliar with that, and if you are an auditory person yourself, you may need some time to learn more about what's available and how to incorporate visuals and manipulatives into your home education.

 

When you mentioned your child who didn't listen well. Honestly, I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I have a dd who wasn't diagnosed with central auditory processing disorder until she was 16. We were very tough on her, always telling her to listen better. But the truth is she couldn't. I regret those years so when I hear stories like yours, I tend to jump in.

 

Because of what I went through, I would highly recommend getting your dd's hearing checked as a first start. Even things like fluid in the ears from colds, allergies, or latent infections can influence hearing. My second dd at times went completely deaf from this. We would speak right next to her and she wouldn't hear us when it was bad. But once it cleared up her hearing and understanding were fine.

 

Processing, though, is more complicated. The brain for different reasons can have trouble making sense of sound, even if the ears hear perfectly. That's the difficulty my oldest has. Central auditory processing is something you need specialized testing for, no just a hearing test. Your kids are still a bit young for this kind of testing, but definitely get the hearing test done. Start with a pediatric audiologist. But keep central auditory processing on your radar.

 

If a mom like you who cares about her kids says one isn't a good listener, I believe you. And I really have to recommend you look into the reason why. It's easy to say it's an attention problem but there can be other reasons that are often as common as the one we're most familiar with these days.

 

In any case, I would have them listen to audio books or read to them every day for at least half an hour or as long as they will tolerate it. You could also have them play games like Simon or Bop-It. Limit your expectations about what you expect them to learn if you are relying on auditory information. In the meanwhile, try to integrate visuals and manipulatives.

 

Hope this helps!

[Pink and Green Mom]

If it makes you feel any better, my 3rd grader just spelled "use" y-o-u-s-e and my 6th grader, who has a test in science tomorrow, acts like he has never heard of science in his life.  I just shake my head and walk away to keep from losing it sometimes.

 

Also lots of kids have trouble counting by 3s (I sub in 1st grade at my kids school fairly regularly and the kids find this to be the hardest number to count by).  Have you let them listen to the Schoolhouse Rock "Three is a Magic Number" song?

 

Hang in there.  It is almost summer.

[idnib]

I remind myself that when kids are in a school classroom they don't have to be "on" the whole time. They can zone out a bit while the teacher reads something or while other kids answer questions. When they're at home with me, they are "on" all the time and that can be tiring for young minds.

[73349]

PS teachers have the same kinds of issues their first few years, and have many more kids to pay attention to. Don't sweat it. You can linger as long as needed on things that are tricky for them.

 

For the skip counting, you can print a paper hundred board so that they can use a highlighter to see the regularity of the skips.

[PentecostalMom]

Thank God for these boards.  Seriously.  Any time I have struggled and come here for advice, I have gotten such amazing advice and encouragement.

 

Yes we are almost done with our school year.  I am very anxious for a break, but at the same time I almost feel like I can't allow us one because I need to solidify some of these things I think they really need to have down before moving on!!  I do plan on doing light summer work.  I would do that whether we homeschooled or if they went to public school, just to avoid forgetting everything and having to do a lot of catch up in the fall.

 

What is this about kids evening out at about 4th grade?  Tell me more! 

 

Abeka is fairly scripted.... but math is NOT my strong point.  I need a lot of hand holding!  lol

 

They were 7 weeks premature.... and I have read that triplets may have some learning issues. 

 

Thanks again - I know I need to relax.  I just need that reminder sometimes!

 

It's not a bad idea to keep a little something up for summer.  However, take some time totally off.  Even just a week or two.  Do nothing.  Let the kids play, you relax, do some mom stuff.  It is easy to get overwhelmed.  Rest assured you're doing just fine and we all feel that way sometimes!

[Mommy22alyns]

You will be fine!  It takes a while for everyone to get "into" homeschooling, and younger kids may just not "get" the skip counting thing right away.  Be patient with everyone, including yourself.  It's also that time of year.  Last Friday, BOTH of my girls "forgot" how to do 2-digit by 1-digit multiplication.    :huh:  If I were you, I'd go with what some PP's were suggesting.  Chuck it, get outside, and enjoy the weather.

[k8c]

My other girl is not a great listener.  I nicely told her I was about to give them all a tip and that they should really pay attention because it's helpful.  So I taught them a little tip about something mathy and asked her what I had just said and she couldn't tell me.  I hate that I actually have to TELL them to listen.... when I talk, they should listen.  Automatically. 

 

This happens with DD5 (almost 6) all the time and it drives me nuts! :-) 

[KrissiK]

I remind myself that when kids are in a school classroom they don't have to be "on" the whole time. They can zone out a bit while the teacher reads something or while other kids answer questions. When they're at home with me, they are "on" all the time and that can be tiring for young minds.

This is true! And you also need to keep in mind that some kids are not listeners. They have trouble understanding things unless they see it. My one son, all through SOTW, was a nightmare. Poor kid. I'd read the same paragraph like 4 times and ask a simple question and he still wouldn't get it. He does much better reading and answering questions that way. And remember, if you want things to stick, you need to repeat. Over and over again. That's why we do a 4 year history cycle. Just today,my second grader and I read about Julius Caesar in SOTW, and then, my 5th grader and I had a discussion about Caesar from our readings in Famous men of Rome and "caesar's Gallic Wars". There is so much for children to learn and absorb. It'll sink in after a while.

[arnold]

If it makes you feel any better, my college chemistry professor still says "now listen" before she gives us especially important information. Give yourself a break, I'm sure your doing just fine.

[Lucy the Valiant]

If you're actively trying to train a kiddo to listen, you can randomly say (very quietly), "If you walk right now to the third step up on the basement stairs and look to the right, you'll see a pack of Smarties that you may eat." . . . say it ONLY ONCE, and then continue on with direct objects. Hahahaha!

 

I have an 8yo, too; listening is . . . part of that age, IMO.

[OneStepAtATime]

FWIW, I have one kiddo that learns exceedingly well auditorily.  But my DD just can't.  I used to think she was not paying attention on purpose or just daydreaming.  But honestly, she just does not process factual information through only auditory input with any efficiency at all.  I have to make certain there is some sort of visual reference and a lot of repetition and exposure through different venues, or it just doesn't stick.  And she does not retain a sequence of info either.  She can't hold it all in her head.  If there are step by step instructions she has to have them in print, with limited text and I have to go over each line carefully, usually several times, for her to retain it, if that makes any sense.

[Reefgazer]

Maybe your kids are overloaded and needs a break.  I don't mean a 5 week long sabbatical, but maybe just a short, 2-3 day break to have fun and re-charge?  Maybe extend a Memorial Day off to 3 days or so. 

[lgliser]

 

Around 8 or 9 this evens out, and you often see children who had trouble reading or writing "suddenly" get it. You will see a child who always needed concrete objects to "get" math not need them any more. You also see some children who were ahead at 5 settle into a more "normal" time table. (Of course, before I get flamed by the parents of pg and hg kids this is not true for some truly high IQ children).

That's interesting and encouraging!  I've been wondering if my son is gifted actually.  I'm not sure he really is.. probably  just more of an accelerated learner.  I'll be so interested to see what happens around that age.

 

I think you guys are right.  End of the year burnout for all of us.  Today we just went to the zoo!  It was great. 

 

We have finished all of our curriculum except math.  So we're on a very light load right now.  I really would like to finish it, but a couple days off will do us some good for sure.

 

I will get her hearing looked at for sure too.  There always been "something" with this child!  I could never put my finger on it.  Maybe this is it.

 

I know I (and the kids) have a lot of learning and adjusting to do with homeschooling.   I just feel such a pressure to produce little brainiacs!  And I totally still compare things to the way public schools do things and I need to stop!

 

I SO appreciate what everyone has had to say.  Thank you very very much!

[Lieutenant Stranger]

Your kids are about the same age as my youngest and he has issues listening, too. Wait. Both of my kids have this issue.

 

#1 Don't compare to school kids. SERIOUSLY. Don't do it. Don't ask what they're doing in school. Just...no.

 

#2 I always remind myself of where I want my children to be. Look at the big picture. It helps a lot.

 

You're still new to HS, so it can be hard to see the big picture, and to see how they're growing. I bet, by the end of next year, you're going to be able to say "last year, we were doing this, and now we're here." It helps A LOT to be able to do that. 

[OneStepAtATime]

By the way, as a parent who had children in brick and mortar through 5th and the aunt of quite a few kids who went to public all the way through, I know for a fact that ps rarely gets through ALL of the skill lists they are "required" to.  There just isn't enough time and there are too many kids.  And they are pushing a lot of concepts too early, when many or most of the kids are not developmentally ready, so it becomes MUCH harder to teach.  If they just waited even a few months it frequently would be much easier for the kids to grasp.  Instead, they are rushed through without a solid understanding and have to move on.  Some pick up those skills really well anyway.  But many don't.  You shouldn't look at the list for what is covered in ps and assume that your children must be behind if you haven't covered the same material or your kids haven't mastered those materials.  

 

And ps doesn't teach to mastery.  It teaches to a schedule.  If children aren't grasping the material, they really cannot slow down and help them to do so.  They have to move on.  You don't.  You can teach to mastery AND spiral in some solid review.  And ps cannot put something aside for later if certain students aren't developmentally ready yet.  They just have to plow on through, possibly demoralizing the child or children and giving them the belief that they are incapable of learning it.  Again, you don't have to do that.  If it appears your child needs more time or is not yet ready for that concept, you can slow down or return to it later, instead of undermining their confidence and potentially causing a life long fear of a topic or subject.

 

And you can inspire a love of learning, not a dread of it.  I am so disheartened when my nephews come over and hear how much they hate school or how awful certain teachers are.  And how uncool it is to admit that you have interest in a certain subject.  One nephew loves literature but he has to be careful never to show that interest at school or act like he is pursuing this interest at home or his peers will "crucify" him.

[Elisabet1]

You are doing great!!!

 

Your child would not get any more individual attention at the public school. It will just make it easier to ignore.

 

I think you, most definitely, need to continue home schooling them. Your daughter will just get lost in the public school.

[Elisabet1]

How do I know I'm good enough?  It's one of those days.  We are almost done with our curriculum and for example in math they were supposed to continue counting by 3's from 30 and write the numbers down.  One of my girls just couldn't get that all you do is add 3 each time.  We've been counting by 2's, 3's, 5's,... etc since the beginning.  How does she not know this?

 

My other girl is not a great listener.  I nicely told her I was about to give them all a tip and that they should really pay attention because it's helpful.  So I taught them a little tip about something mathy and asked her what I had just said and she couldn't tell me.  I hate that I actually have to TELL them to listen.... when I talk, they should listen.  Automatically. 

 

Just all these little things that they don't know but we have been going over pretty much all year.  I must not be a good enough teacher!  They went to public school kindergarten and they learned things there.  Maybe school teachers just really do know how to teach and I just don't.

 

I WANT to homeschool but if they can't learn from me then maybe I should send them back to public school.  I would feel so embarrassed and like such a failure if I did.  I love our good days and I love the freedom homeschooling gives us.  There are so many things about a public school that I hate.  But being in charge of their education... it's ALL me.... it's very overwhelming sometimes.  I wish I had some help.  I just need some help.

I just re-read your post, and I know you are frustrated..BUT...

 

"when I talk, they should listen. Automatically" Have you ever seen a classroom? In the public school, they do not listen. They teacher does not individually call each child out to quiz them on if they heard anything. 

 

Being in charge of their education just means that you are in charge. That is a lot of stress on that. BUT, just because they are in public school does not mean you are no longer in charge. It just becomes easier to ignore that they are not learning much.

 

I just brought my son home after almost 2 years in public school. At first, I cried a lot. I opened his bag and saw all these papers he wrote and felt like he did so much, and I felt guilty. Then it happened. I actually started working with him. Turns out, he does not know basic mechanics of grammar. He never puts punctuation at the end of a sentence nor does he start with a capital letter. In math, he could not multiple 54 times 30. He was not learning anything. It appeared on the outside he was. But he was not. Now I go back and look at his papers and realize that he was not even being corrected on these mistakes. And his school had given everyone ipads and they were using Siri so many of his papers were typed by Siri. He was using calculators, so basically, everything we would have done for 3rd and 4th grade at home got missed. I am having to work hard to make up for all he has not done the last almost 2 years in public school. 

 

With him being gone all day, stressed out at public school, I did not know he did not know these things. He was earning straight A's and doing fine on the state tests. But the state tests do not test basic skills and they use calculators there too. 

 

I have seen this in the past too, when my older children have gone public school. HUGE gaps in education. But it is easy to see what they are doing, and not what they are not doing. And trust me, no teacher is checking each student. And the quality of education has really gone down in recent years. When I have observed classes, I see kids visiting while the teacher talks in front of the class. I have been a bit disturbed about how awful it is. When my older went back to public school, despite having been in special ed when she left public school, she was way ahead of everyone else. They could barely give her math or science because she was so far ahead. It was a huge waste. The AP classes in high school were a huge waste.

 

Seriously, if you think your children are behind now (they are not), they will really be behind if you send them to school. Only difference will be that you are no longer teaching them so you do not see how far "behind" they are. And by behind..I am meaning behind your expectations. They will be right on the mark for where other public schoolers are.

[lgliser]

That makes a lot of sense.  When my kids were in PS kindergarten they would bring home worksheets that had wrong answers or weren't even finished and I have no doubt that the teacher had not even seen their work.Thanks

 

Thanks again everyone - this really did help a ton!