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Kindergarten and homeschoolers


mhaddon
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I guess this is because I read so much about 3/4 year olds begining kindergarten curriculums that require a lot of writing, I even see it in my groups on facebook. Am I the only one bothered by the fact that everyone seems to be putting them into K way too early? My 5 year old will complete the MFW K program this year and then we will begin kindergarten again next year. We have gone very slowly and enjoyed all the fun activites. Yes my 3 year old sits in and has things to do, but I'd never dream of buying a K program for her. Even next year she will still be preschool. She has amazing fine motor skills and can write if wanted, she can cut better than my 8 year old. She can recite CC memory work, and has tested at a genius level IQ last spring. However, I still don't feel the need to push her so fast. Am I the only one that seems some homeschool parents push way too early? Is it many first time homeschool parents that are eager to begin? I was so hands off until my oldest was almost 6 so I just don't get it, lol. I know it's hard when all of your friends are talking about the amazing things that thier 3 year old can do, but honestly I haven't meet one yet that still gets tired and throws a fit if pushed too hard ;)

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I agree with your general premise, but I'm confused as to why would you do a second K curriculum if your 5 y.o. has already completed one this year. Why wouldn't you just move her on to a 1st grade one?

 

I don't do formal "seatwork" prior to K except I do start phonics whenever the child shows developmental readiness for that. That has been anywhere from 3 1/2 to TBD but older than 5 1/2.

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We attempted to do a "formal" K year this year and what ended up working for us was more "unschooling" than formal.  We also had some family issues with DH traveling about 80% of the time all of a sudden, so that contributed to the chaos as well.  I felt we needed to do the formal K because of what so many others were doing, as well as what the standards for the public schools are.  At the time I felt she needed to have that formal school time "just in case."  However, I very quickly realized what I had planned as the ideal was not going to work, and I adjusted.  I am sure that there are some kids who really do need formal schooling at that early age and a parent who follows his/her lead would not really be pushing, just like there are some kids who thrive in a child-interest-led environment over "formal" schooling all the way through their school careers.  So I guess I don't think that all parents are necessarily pushing their K'ers to perform at extraordinary levels, but I am sure that there are some who do. :-) 

 

ETA:  DD5 (almost 6) did progress in both reading and math, even without the formal schooling and just doing some "seatwork" every now and then, and when I tested her with the DORA and DOMA, she is still going to be ready for 1st grade work next year.  Do you feel that your K'er did not really get the K material that you were teaching, or are you planning on using a more rigorous K curriculum the second time around?

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One of the best things to me about homeschooling is being able to work to the child's ability.  I wouldn't put a kid through two years of K for the sake of being relaxed, but I wouldn't force a kid to try to learn things they weren't ready for developmentally.  My "advanced" kid started k before 5 because he was ready.  My middle son will start at 5.5yo because that's about when he'll be ready.  Going at our own pace doesn't necessarily mean slowing down.

 

I think that not challenging kids to their ability can lead to a lot of the same problems as trying to push them too hard.

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You must be reading different posts than I am. I do see people using k curricula that don't involve writing but I don't recall ever seeing someone using a full kindy program with heavy writing for a 3 yo. And I can't tell you how many times I see better late than early espoused. In terms of writing, in particular, I'm sure many ps parents would laugh hysterically at all the scribing a lot of hs parents do for their early elementary kids. Maybe they are buying k curricula to use at a slow pace because it would be a waste of money to buy a pre k curriculum that doesn't contain any new info. Just because someone uses a curriculum doesn't mean they use it exactly the way it is written.

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I think it depends on the kid.  My oldest two were eager to learn so I began to instruct them before 5.  My third will be turning 4 this year.  Although she's my brightest ( spoke full sentences at 9 months etc....) she has no interest in learning.  I'm waiting until she wants to learn.  I really thing it depends on the kid.  I don't see a big deal starting early if the child is eager but I don't think you should force/push a young child and kill the joy of learning.

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I don't think it's just homeschool parents. Most people I know are putting their kids into "preschool" at the age of 3 and while I don't know how academic it is, waiting until 5 for any type of schooling is not the norm anymore. 

 

Much of it depends on the kid. I've had a kid learn to read well by the age of 4 and *love* doing anything school-ish, so for him, yes, I gave him things to do early (but I don't think I pushed). I also have kids, like my now 6yo, who is just learning to read and couldn't care less about school, so I think it's important to meet each child where they are and where their interests are (to a point of course).

 

I do think that a lot of first-time parents are also really eager to see their child do things and excel so that may also play a part. There are so many factors that play into it. I personally think that keeping things relaxed as long as possible is the most enjoyable way to go.

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I have a 4 year old who turns 5 in August and should technically be in K in the fall. We have been working through some K material (mainly math) this year so in a lot of subjects (as well as in our co-op), he will be considered a 1st grader. I haven't pushed him at all, it's actually quite the opposite. He got a leap pad for his birthday a few years ago and he loved the game on it that taught him how to write his letters. He played that game until he learned how to form all his letters, and at that point whenever I gave him a coloring book or construction paper to draw on, he would just write and write letters and words all over the page. He had a major interest in letters and learning to read and write. He taught himself to read right around the time he turned 3. He is now reading on a 3-4 grade level and we haven't done any formal phonics (though I did try, he just got bored because he already had figured it out). He is just hungry to learn. He loves math and geography and would literally be happy to do worksheets all day if I'd let him. Some days it's a struggle to not do worksheets because he begs for them. He has flown through his K math book, he will literally sit down and do 7 or 8 lessons at a time. I've decided instead of fighting him, to just try to balance it all out so he has normal childhood experiences mixed in with his structured learning time that he loves. I know most 4 year olds are not like this and unless his brother is the same way, he won't start K until he's 5. It has really been just as much a learning experience for me as it has been for him just because it's new to all of us since he is the oldest. I always have people asking me when I started working with him on things and the truth is, until this year, we had never had formal learning times. We just played and learned. I know most children aren't like him and that's the beauty of homeschool...I can customize his education to him and not have to worry about him being bored or pushed too hard. 

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I've seen a lot of discussion on facebook groups. I think it's hard for homeschool parents to not worry that they are behind because almost every PS parent goes on about how their preschool child is reading before begging K and it makes me laugh. I see the creativity squashed out of them that first year and find it sad that such a push for PS standards by so many. I think it is hard to find a K program now that isn't heavily focused on forming letters, etc. And any time someone says to just enjoy that first year other parents it is quickly brushed aside. I'm all for moving at a pace that is good for your child, I guess I just wanted to make those starting their journey know that it is ok if their 3/4 year old hasn't learned all of their letters because when you go through many homeschool sites it seems filled with discusions about starting K way earlier. I know my friend came over and was discouraged and didn't even want to begin homeschooling because she was already "behind"

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I see it in homeschooling parents, but I saw it just as much if not more in preschool/daycare parents.

 

Even the older editions of HWT, which I have leftover from my adult kids, did not recommend workbooks or a heavy emphasis on written work during kindergarten. Louise Bates Ames' well respected child development books which were written for parents in the late '60s and early '70s recommend allowing a child to write in all capitals into first grade.

 

Even in 1994, when my oldest homeschooler was enrolled in Laurel Springs, Kindergarten was letter of the week, nature crafts, reading fairy tales aloud, etc. The first set of Bob Books and Peggy Kaye's Games For Reading were part of the first grade curriculum and every letter I received from the correspondence teacher could be summed up as, "Don't worry, your dd will read when she's ready."

 

So I see a fad.

 

A fad isn't worth spoiling the delight I see in my 6yo's eyes when he is able to write his own name in all caps and read single words for information in his day to day life. It certainly isn't worth making your sweet 3yo cry.

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I agree with the PP who said it's a mix of things, but I think unless you have a child who's internally driven it's hard to understand that that CAN happen. My DD is that way, she's loved books since infancy and taught herself how to read starting at 2.5. I've never pushed her, just went along for the ride. As for it quashing creativity, she spends hours in imaginative play and for the past several months has been writing her own incredibly creative stories. I've been trying to push back a bit because she can be pretty intense about pushing herself to learn, which bothers me a little. We only do about 10 minutes of (fun) math when she asks for it, and I don't do formal reading lessons at all, she just likes reading to me and writing her own stories. Have I encouraged the learning? Yes, sure, it excites me to see her so driven, and I want her to see I agree with her that learning is fun! But it has a lot more to do with her than with me.

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I guess I truely havn't meet a child like that, even in the school system. So maybe if I had it would be different? I know my now 7 year old came up to me when he was 4 and knew all his letters, was adding on his own, and had taught himself to read basic CVC words. I was blown away, but he still has trouble sitting still :)

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I believe in gentle starts.

 

I attended full day British prep school K-4 as a child, and K-5 included a blazer and tie and a gym uniform. K-4 included a daily lesson in shoe tying because we were not allowed into K-5 unless we could change into our gym uniform without help. The teacher kept telling me how disappointed and angry my mom and dad would be if she had to hold me back over the shoe tying. I cried every day. Every day!

 

I was a precocious child, and taught myself to read at 4, but pressure was too much for me. I was always crying and afraid. And afraid because I couldn't stop crying and knew the crying made it all worse.

 

In the late 80s and early 90, here in the USA, my boys had a very relaxed start and my oldest didn't learn to read until he was 8. He was an EXTREMELY precocious teen though and put himself through college, and was graduated, debt free, and living independently on the other side of the country at 19.

 

Early starts can be counter productive. Most children are wired to learn. They will learn if they are in the proper environment. Their brains develop in all sorts of way by playing. There is a lot I don't fully understand, But I do know that early starts are often not helpful and can be harmful.

 

 

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For a flip side, what I've been seeing is a lot of posts in my groups indicating that if a young child is doing any academics it is only because the parents are pushing. With an academically driven child, it is like being dragged. There has never once been a fit on her part from being taught, but there have been a number of fits from being told that she isn't old enough/isn't ready to learn something. My daughter demanded that I teach her to read before she turned 2. She meant it and was quite insistent, and with gentle teaching she was reading a few months later. She turns 4 in a few days and told me that next week we are supposed to start "doing kindergarten", which she defined as having lots of classes every day and learning trickier numbers. She was quite upset to learn that some bigger kids learned history because I hadn't taught her any and she felt like I was holding back! So, yes, I have been using some curric with her and will continue to do so. Using kindy curric does not necessarily mean writing. Her curriculum either doesn't include any writing by design or is easily adapted to omit the writing.

 

Teaching a young child can be a matter of a few minutes at a time. It doesn't take away from play time or creativity. DD incorporates so much of what she has learned into her imaginative play and her art. She loves to play, and examine flowers and bugs, and go to the park, and learn to ride her scooter. She likes being with other kids. She loves to cuddle on the couch and read me a book. It's all just a part of her day, none of it is the whole day. And academics ARE play to her, they're fun and if she is to choose between playing outside at the park or doing a science kit, it will be a toss up which she chooses.

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I made the mistake of pushing my oldest two, too early, too quickly.  I regret it now, and with my youngest two, I am taking a much more laid back and relaxed approach.  

 

With the oldest two, I had them sitting down and "working" on "school" as young as 2 for the boy and 3 for the girl.  And while the boy was quite capable, I was asking WAY too much of him at WAY too young of an age, and it ended up being a source of frustration for both of us.  For my daughter, she had LDs that we started uncovering at that time, and attempting to school her so early was disastrous.  I regret it, deeply.  

 

With my next two boys, I did not start anything formal until they had passed their 5th birthday.  So my now 6 yr old started learning his letters and letter sounds last summer and then last fall, at 5 1/2, we started "kindergarten" where I focused on teaching him how to read, how to write, and basic math.  

 

My littlest guy will be five in a week and a half (*sob*) and he will follow the same pattern.  Letters and letter sounds this summer, and "kindergarten" in the fall.  The now 6 yr old will start 1st grade in the fall.  

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It's important to do what your child is ready to do. My oldest was ready to read at age 3/4. She didn't always WANT to do it, and we didn't work very long at it every day, but the 5-10 mins of work added up and she was reading fluently in K. She hated writing, though, and avoided it as much as possible. HS allowed us to work with her strengths and weaknesses instead of choosing a program that stressed accomplishing both skills simultaneously. With my younger one, she is now ready to read at age 4/5, but she was ready to write younger than my older one. She LIKES writing. I think that if you are paying attention to your kids, not making them cry or become overly frustrated, they will be fine. I always ask mine "Are you tired? We can stop now if you are tired."

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Some of us are just merely attempting to keep up with precocious kids who learn like runaway freight trains. :)

 

Fwiw, one of mine did do K at 3, but I never bought a curriculum for her. She did K over the shoulder of her 5yo brother while whispering his answers to herself. The only pushing we did was to push DD/3yo's head out of the way so DS/5yo could see his book. She kept up with DS and was thriving in grade 2 books by K age. A K curriculum would have been pointless.

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I have a child who wants to do academics, and all I hear about is how I should wait, I am pushing her too much, and better late than early, etc etc. A poster here just recently posted about how reading early would be actually detrimental...

 

I think we are most sensitive to hearing about whatever is the opposite of what we are doing. And you are definitely not the only one around here who thinks kids should be waiting and we shouldn't do any K. Look back in the forum a bit and you'll find some involved posts discussing it, with people from both sides.

 

It would be nice if we could all just do what is best for OUR kids and accept that there are multiple ways of handling this topic. I am firmly on the pro-early academics side, but that doesn't mean I drill my daughter in math facts for an hour every day.  I think most of us are making decisions that suit our children, families, goals and values.

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My child at 4 was essentially doing K - I taught both to read at a very young age, my 3 year old has started wanting to write now but I would never expect her to write anything in a curriculum yet. My elder child learnt to write all her letters at 4 and began copywork at 4.5 - that is what worked for her. However I never used a K curriculum - she did do Horizons K Math with most of its writing at 4.5 - this was the closest we got to K expectations (I did write for her a fair amount - often half of the worksheet in the later half of the year as expectations rose faster than she could keep up with the writing, but slower than she could keep up with the Math)

How much seatwork then did she have at 4 - maybe 3min of copywork (she used to ask for more til we hit short sentences and then it was enough) and maybe 10min for Math which increased gradually over the year when she was 5.5 years old.

 

The question comes down to whether she felt pushed or not - she did ask for more, if she complained then we left it - sometimes for the day, sometimes longer before trying again. My younger child actually wants and asks for school more than my older and is capable of sitting and concentrating for far longer periods than my eldest was at the same age - yet I still keep things very short and stop before she wants to and if she doesn't want to do anything then we don't.

 

With very young children how they feel about things changes very rapidly and is more dependent on how hungry they are, how much sleep they have had, if they are getting sick or not and what they are busy with at the time - so if we have days of playing with blocks and lego all day then that is fine (for the younger - the older is now in grade 1 though working ahead), but then if we have days where we do worksheets and writing and maths all day - why can't that be fine too if that is what she wants to do. (Oh and they have to do things they don't want to do too like brush their teeth and go to bed at a reasonable hour and get out of their pyjamas in the morning - some days:)) 

 

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Prior to age 5, school is on a "when they ask" basis for my kids. If my 4 year old wants to do math, I have a K math curriculum (because they've figured out preschool level stuff on their own through living life with me). They can do however many pages they want. It's not writing heavy at all. Usually, it's easy stuff that they find fun to do. I start requiring school when they're officially K (5 before September 1). At that point, they do maybe 30 minutes of seatwork per day. Writing amount depends on kid's abilities. I'll scribe in math if necessary for a child with weaker writing skills.

 

Of my 3 kids, the oldest resisted anything resembling "school" prior to age 5, so he did no preschool/K prior to going to private K at age 5. He taught himself to read at age 4 and taught himself math. He figured out multiplication shortly after turning 5, and he also asked about subtracting a bigger number from a smaller one, and I explained negative numbers, which he easily understood and remembered years later. I didn't start using above-grade-level curriculum with him until halfway through first grade when we started homeschooling, but he was already accelerated due to figuring things out. No pushing involved!

 

Middle kid needed some help with preschool topics, such as colors and counting to 10. For some reason, living life didn't teach him those things. I could point out his red shirt, and he'd have no clue what I was talking about. But I got a R&S preschool workbook on learning colors, and within 3 weeks, he knew all his colors backward and forward. Same thing happened with counting. Go figure! Then his math brain took off, so he did K math at age 4, but again it was "when he asked". If he didn't ask for 2 months, he did no math for 2 months. No big deal. We did do some phonics at age 4 (he could blend at just turned 4, though he wasn't ready to read until much later), as he had speech issues and phonics gave him something visual to help his speech. It didn't do anything for him academically - he's my latest reader. But it was good for his ability to communicate with us, which made life MUCH EASIER. :) It's very difficult to live with an emotional preschooler who is trying desperately to tell you something and you just can't figure out what they're saying, and they get more and more upset the longer it takes you to figure out what they said. So absolutely I have ZERO regrets about starting phonics early with him. Again, it didn't make him read any earlier, but it helped him communicate with us. This child couldn't write much until after he turned 6, so I didn't even teach him handwriting until halfway through K (he has a November birthday).

 

Youngest is an absolute sponge who also strangely can sit still and has incredible fine motor skills (he could do some fine motor things at 3 that my other 2 couldn't do until age 5). Youngest has taught himself to read, and now he's teaching himself math by reading the math workbook and following the instructions. He LOVES doing school and asked for his own math book. He can sit still and focus for a long time. One time when he was 3, close to 4, I left the kids with a homeschooling friend. She had asked for my kids to bring school work to do while they were there. I sent some random (from yardsale) preschool to grade 2 workbooks for the little one. He sat in a chair and did those workbooks for AN HOUR. My friend and her boys could not believe it!!! That is just how that kid is though. It's nothing I did. I didn't train him to sit for an hour and do school work. :lol: He is just naturally laid back and loves to do little workbooks. That was before he could read well (he could sound out CVC words and such at 3, but didn't really take off with reading until 4.5). He'll be in K next school year, which starts at the end of June. He told me just the other day that when he turns 5 next week, he wants to start school, and he wants to do school every day... Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I explained to him that we'll just do school on weekdays. ;) This kid is very independent, so I don't even have to teach him most things. I'm teaching him some proper letter formation now (in a very age appropriate way), but he has copied sentences on his own for the last year, without me asking him to. I'm just correcting any weird formation that he developed on his own. I haven't pushed this kid at all. He's dragging me along. I've really done very little with him, except hand him a workbook he asks for. I let him start CLE Math 100 (he wanted CLE like his brothers, and he'd finished Singapore EM K), so I handed it to him. He doesn't want me to teach it though. I'm only involved with dictating numbers and reading the word problem that is only found in the TM. Everything else he does himself, quite adamantly. :lol: I check his work afterward and make sure it's correct. I also provide manipulatives to use and encourage their use due to his age. I'm definitely not "pushing" though. I'm following his lead and holding back a bit (I haven't done anything with reading/spelling this year, and he's zipping through Magic Tree House books recently and can write me short letters spelled mostly correctly).

 

I wouldn't go buy a Timberdoodle K package for a 3 year old or anything like that, but giving them something they ask for and letting them do it when they want... I'm cool with that. It's often 5 minutes of actual work, and then they feel like they've "done school" and are happy. ;) (except my strange DS3, though he usually didn't work for an HOUR at my house - just my friend's house! :lol:)

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I love the rod and staff prek/k books, those are my biggest recomendation for anyone. My youngest also loves her Kumon cutting book, even my husband commented on how she cuts better than he can :rofl:  My youngest begs, but she still tires out after a few activities. I give her a lot of hands on type things. And my 5 year old begs too, but at some point go out and play and find things outside (nature type walks) or we read a book together.

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I don't do any formal anything until my child is 1st grade age. I will call my daughter a Kindergartner when she turns 5 so she can start soccer. But I only use grade levels that young for public use like that. 

 

When I say I don't do "formal" K, what I mean is that I don't consider what my child is doing at 5 drastically different than at 3 enough that I need to start doing curriculum.

 

What I do however, is to keep plenty of early learning resource books and materials available. Lots of hands on activities and games, usually Montessori inspired, lots of read alouds, (Peak With Books is my favorite resource), Mudpies to Magnets for science, lots of gardening and bug play outside, arts and crafts.

 

I will encourage lots of sensory play and early handwriting with HWOT and early reading activities when she shows readiness. Math games and activities.

 

I don't feel a child needs to be pressured or pushed into working through any program for preschool or K, but I also do not have a "just enjoy them" philosophy. For starters I don't even know what that means. Am I enjoying my 3 year old less because I pull a few science activities out of Mudpies or build words with her with her moveable alphabet?

 

I think you could use a K program or even use resources during these early grades in a gentle way.

 

What I don't do is push them into higher graded programs. I've known too many who want the child doing 1st grade math when they are 4. IMHO I don't care if they can do it, I won't do it. I'll meet them where they are with the gentle games and play approach and then when they are older I will place them in a math program where they need to be.

 

I feel that too many people assume because a 4 year old can, then that means they should. I see know reason to look at my 3 year old dd, who can sound out a few CVC words and make the jump to starting more phonics lesson.

 

Everything is a rush from point A to B. There's this feeling that everything should have been started earlier or else. Children aren't like that. They don't rush. So I shouldn't rush.

 

 

 

 

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I have a child who wants to do academics, and all I hear about is how I should wait, I am pushing her too much, and better late than early, etc etc. A poster here just recently posted about how reading early would be actually detrimental...

 

I don't think that delaying using a formal curriculum to do "seatwork" until K age is the same thing as denying a child who is interested the chance to learn things.

 

In the preschool years I do a lot of "hands-on" activities: things from "Family Math for Young Children", "Mudpies to Magnets", tangrams, Sequence Numbers, Scrabble Jr., etc. My goal is to create a learning environment that is still age-appropriate.

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I follow the child's lead until 5. So we started stuff at 3. Because she asked and she was ready. I didn't buy a full k curriculum package. But I got individual things I thought she would like and would answer her need. She was begging to be taught to read by 3.5 and figuring out math on her own but getting frustrated at the parts she couldn't figure out.

 

I don't believe in pushing a kid of that age to do academics. But some kids just want it and need it.

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I had an early learner, early reader, and I made a critical error-I let her enter an academic, full day PS K program at 4 when she was demanding to start school.  It wasn't what she needed. The academic levels were too low, and the full-day left her so tired that she really couldn't learn/explore on her own, either. It took her quite awhile to undo that-I'd say it took her a full year of being home before she even picked up a pencil again by her own choice.

 

I don't think starting a workbook or two with a 3/4 yr old who wants to do school will cause damage, but I do think that, in 20/20 hindsight, if I'd told DD "We're going to start K-and we'll do K by going to the library, reading a lot of books, playing games, and visiting places in our community", she would have ended up at the same spot she did at age 6-but been a much happier child at age 4 and 5.

 

 

 

 

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My boys have done a lot at earlier ages than some, but I am not "pushing".  I have read the same books about "better late than early" and thought it sounded great--but my kids did NOT think that was a great idea.

 

So don't interpret every 4 year old doing what you see as "heavy academics" as being pushed.  Some of those kids just pull us in that direction---

 

My little 4 & 5  year olds who may have been doing 1st grade or higher reading or math were still only doing 30 minutes of work most days and begging for it--  reality isn't always what it looks like in a post.  Not everyone is tying down their 4 year old and making them do 4 hours of heavy drillwork academics--

 

Betsy

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I've seen a lot of discussion on facebook groups. I think it's hard for homeschool parents to not worry that they are behind because almost every PS parent goes on about how their preschool child is reading before begging K and it makes me laugh. I see the creativity squashed out of them that first year and find it sad that such a push for PS standards by so many. I think it is hard to find a K program now that isn't heavily focused on forming letters, etc. And any time someone says to just enjoy that first year other parents it is quickly brushed aside. I'm all for moving at a pace that is good for your child, I guess I just wanted to make those starting their journey know that it is ok if their 3/4 year old hasn't learned all of their letters because when you go through many homeschool sites it seems filled with discusions about starting K way earlier. I know my friend came over and was discouraged and didn't even want to begin homeschooling because she was already "behind"

 

I think it's prudent to remember that many of us are more traditionally scholastic in our approach - we have standards, school is mandatory (maybe even at age 4), but that does NOT mean we are squashing creativity. That's silly (sorry). I know many a public schooled child who is a joyful, creative child/student, even with standards and mandatory education at a young age.

Please do not assume that my child working at a young age is because I'm trying to keep up with the PS - I'm not. My educational philosophy may not jive with yours, but it works for us.

We scribe A LOT of our kindergarten curriculum - he's ready for the concepts, but not the writing. We only work on handwriting, and writing is only required, during actual "handwriting" instruction; I scribe his math, etc. He's a happy learner :)

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I agree I think it's absurd to start a 3 yo on a kinder curriculum. Even with a very bright/smart child there is no need to do a curriculum. You can still do plenty of learning through play, reading, life skills, nature walk, educational field trips, etc. then once they are "school age" you can pick which levels they need. It's not holding them back by not doing a curriculum at a young age if you are exposing them and teaching them about the things they love and are interested in. I hope it's just a phase that will soon pass.

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I agree I think it's absurd to start a 3 yo on a kinder curriculum. Even with a very bright/smart child there is no need to do a curriculum. You can still do plenty of learning through play, reading, life skills, nature walk, educational field trips, etc. then once they are "school age" you can pick which levels they need. It's not holding them back by not doing a curriculum at a young age if you are exposing them and teaching them about the things they love and are interested in. I hope it's just a phase that will soon pass.

So many things in life aren't "needed", yet we still enjoy doing them :)

 

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I agree I think it's absurd to start a 3 yo on a kinder curriculum. Even with a very bright/smart child there is no need to do a curriculum. You can still do plenty of learning through play, reading, life skills, nature walk, educational field trips, etc. then once they are "school age" you can pick which levels they need. It's not holding them back by not doing a curriculum at a young age if you are exposing them and teaching them about the things they love and are interested in. I hope it's just a phase that will soon pass.

There is never a magical age at which a curriculum is needed, including high school. Many people find them helpful long before then. They are tools that can be implemented in a variety of ways. The way I use bfsu would hardly be recognized by an outsider as "doing a curriculum." Maybe I don't meet your standards but I can tell you that the $5 I spent on the PDF saved me many hours that could be better devoted to taking my children to see the world instead of scouring the card catalog and pinterest boards.

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There is never a magical age at which a curriculum is needed, including high school. Many people find them helpful long before then. They are tools that can be implemented in a variety of ways. The way I use bfsu would hardly be recognized by an outsider as "doing a curriculum." Maybe I don't meet your standards but I can tell you that the $5 I spent on the PDF saved me many hours that could be better devoted to taking my children to see the world instead of scouring the card catalog and pinterest boards.

I really don't care about your standards haha! I only care about my thoughts and my husband when it comes to raising out kids. I was just putting my opinion out there as many other posters did as well. :)

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Kids are so different from each other.  I bought or borrowed so many curriculum, or at least the "little hands" books so early...  But mostly for activites, enrichment, things to do.  If i told you our Kindie read-aloud list it might seem ridiculous.  But that's what my older likes and will sit for hours to enjoy... But he's not interested in reading on his own much (who would be when mommy will read to you!)... and I know when he is ready he'll be a quick study... I'm delaying his kindie year until Jan...  

 

If I tried to make my boy sit for lots of formal work right now... it just wouldn't work.  The kids that sit for it?  It's probably something they're ready for.  

 

For my son's kindie year I had so much I wanted to expose him to (not master, not "work on", but just expose him to)...  I had to prioritize things.  I literally wrote down priority 1, 2, 3, etc... 

number 1 priority for us is to spend at least 2-3 hours outside every day.  Number 1 priority...  Because that's what he as an individual needs.  But my younger?  I have a feeling she'll be wanting to do "school" with big brother when she's 3-4.  

 

I've studied education in one form or another my whole life..  I'm CM and Classical, with Waldorf tendencies (how's that for confusing) and I generally feel like Preschool and Kindergarten should be Kinder  Garden...  playing and learning in home and nature.  It is a trend to start early... but on the bright side I think it's because there are so very many parents and teachers who are genuinely wanting to try hard to give their kids a good education.  So, while I believe in waiting I still think that parents know what's best for their own kids... And I'm pretty sure my little headstrong toddler will do whatever school she wants before she hits 6... so if she asks me to teach her to read and write at 3, I'm certainly not going to say no.  

 

ETA: I also think that any curriculum can be used gently and positively, it depends on the engagement and delivery

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So many things in life aren't "needed", yet we still enjoy doing them :)

Yup! And that's great we are all unique and all our home schools look different which is probably why we all homeschool. Those are just MY thoughts and I'm sure most everyone else has different thoughts on the subject as well.

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Yup! And that's great we are all unique and all our home schools look different which is probably why we all homeschool. Those are just MY thoughts and I'm sure most everyone else has different thoughts on the subject as well.

I didn't say anything about my standards. You misread but thanks for the snark. Those are obviously not just *your* thoughts for *your* family because your previous post contained a judgment about what is absurd for other people, and you finished by saying you hope the perceived fad is over soon.

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I agree I think it's absurd to start a 3 yo on a kinder curriculum. Even with a very bright/smart child there is no need to do a curriculum. You can still do plenty of learning through play, reading, life skills, nature walk, educational field trips, etc. then once they are "school age" you can pick which levels they need. It's not holding them back by not doing a curriculum at a young age if you are exposing them and teaching them about the things they love and are interested in. I hope it's just a phase that will soon pass.

 

Do you understand why calling people absurd for doing what makes sense for their family might be upsetting? Did you read anything other than the OP, people people talking about the ways they were, apparently, destroying their kids' childhoods, and the reasons behind it?

 

I didn't use any so-called curriculum till we started with RS a couple of months ago. But my DD4 basically demanded I show her how to read, taught herself to blend and now brings me books she wants to read to me. She was getting into some pretty advanced concepts playing around with C-rods, so I started RS to show her another way to work on the same concepts, and now she brings me her abacus when she wants to play math. I never suggest any of it, that IS what she loves and is interested in.

 

We also play outside every day, are on the floor together for hours in imaginative play, do art projects and tons of read alouds, she writes her own amazing stories and she's one of the happiest, most creative kids I know. As I said above, it's hard for anyone who hasn't had a child like that to understand that it really does happen, that it often isn't the parent pushing the child.

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Yup! And that's great we are all unique and all our home schools look different which is probably why we all homeschool. Those are just MY thoughts and I'm sure most everyone else has different thoughts on the subject as well.

 

I certainly do have thoughts on many subjects - but if I recognize it as only my personal opinion, and not something I feel strongly about, I wouldn't use a word as strong as "absurd" to describe it ;)

Although, I'll note that I think it's absurd you were so rude to Syllieann, and absurd to think you own the definition of what early childhood should include (since you hope the fad is over soon, I mean).

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I'm one of those that would be glad to talk about how my oldest daughter started "school like" things silly early at 18 months, played at tot school stuff begging to learn topics until at age 3 I started her in a JrK curriculum that was perfect for her and now she's trekking along and loving it. When I tried to postpone her she disliked that greatly. I don't care what level she is at as long as she finds learning to be fun and something to continue. She is 4 now and begs for school 7 days a week. It is play to her.

 

Using the right things we've found for us it is a great setting. Refusing her or just throwing "go play" at her when she would rather be doing a math workbook or reading about nature or learning letter sounds... now that would be absurd (in my personal opinion). She does play and has a crazy vividly imagination that is fueled from what we "learn".

 

Her little sister is nearing 3 and until the last two months could care less about letters and numbers. She gets her learning through daily life and conversations and it worked for her until now. I doubt she'd be ready for that same JrK program we did until she's a few months into four or later. But she does want something now so I'm appeasing her with printables.

 

Personalities and developments across the human spectrum are so varied and that is why the idea of homeschool is so beautiful when adapted to the child. I'm not a proponent of forcing school on a vibrant child that would learn best playing on the dirt and hands on. However I think throwing out insults and absolute comments that one is only sane because they wait or they name call people that supposedly force and push the earliest learning levels are cruel and belong in a venting forum rather than an opinionated discussion.

 

If you want to express why you think it is one way vs another, for goodness sake be nice. Keep your rude nature off the page because I'm certain no one appreciates an arrogant and cruel poster. I think that is a fairly safe absolute statement.

 

We're all different. Our kids are all different. Some need to play and gain life experience learning until beyond the age of nine. Some thrive on focus from a toddler and preschooler age. Life is learning, so why be rude when some else learns better with a list than just impulse?

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I agree with many. Some kids like more academic things, some don't. I loved academics as a young one. Begging my mom to teach me to read when I was a tot. I always loved learning. I was certainly a black sheep in my family, in that regard. Even as a child when it was school holidays (vacation, break) I was creating projects on a variety of topics. As an adult I am constantly learning, and I take free classes via my library all the time.

My son is like me and we can bond in that way. I am not making him cry or forcing him. Now cleaning his room on the other hand... Brings completely meltdown.

We certainly bond in other ways. We both like running, and going for walks. We like to bake together. But academics is the main thing. If we didn't have if, that is okay. But we do and we enjoy our time spent cuddling on the couch reading or doing math, or discussing American history.

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I agree that many kids probably would not need not want a curriculum at a young age. Mine does. She loves everything about it. We have tried both ways, and allowing her to have a bit of structured school time is really helpful in keeping her happy and centered.

 

I think many people have this idea that curriculum= child forced to slave away in tears!

 

Here is a picture: we are currently on vacation in Hawaii. Our room at a massive resort overlooks the ocean and lots of swimming pools. It is the Aulani Disney resort so there are a million things for kids going on. My dd4 spent all morning swimming and running around, learning to Hula, collecting shells and snorkeling in the Pacific...but she asked to come back to the room for a rest, and she is curled in a chair overlooking all of that working in her Singapore math book. I am 'not allowed to come out until it is time to check!'

 

Some kids just thrive on that focused curriculum. It is more independent, and she loves that. And yes, she started Singapore when she was three.

 

You know your kid best...ignore the rest:)

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I like the advice that you know your kids and ignore the rest.

 

I have to really fight to not get too involved in these boards, actually. These boards have so much great information and so many people are SO helpful, but I find that when I read them on a daily basis, my thinking becomes clouded. I start to feel condescending toward those whose kids are doing things later than mine (Isn't my kid so smart?) and judgmental toward those whose kids are doing things earlier than mine (what pushy parents!) -- as if I was the only one who got it "right." I think it's such an easy pitfall to fall into.  I *know* it's not actually the truth, but I still find myself feeling that way.  

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